21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Q&A Season 1, w/ Ed Mylett

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0:34this is the Ed Myland Show welcome back to the show everybody so session one of the 21 irrefutable laws of leadership has been an absolute success we've had viral downloads all over the internet and the show is now doing better than it's ever done in its history and so what I wanted to do is add additional Q &A opportunities where you can ask me questions about the laws that we go through from time to time. And so I'm adding one of those Q &A sessions now. As a reminder, if you want to submit your questions, all you have to do is click the link either in the show notes or below here to get your free workbook that we've created.

1:10We've created a 21-page workbook that's completely free for you. And once you've done that, you can then submit your questions and maybe it'll show up here on the show. And so we're going to do, you know, what we do after each law is we have a rep that we do after each law. And so not only are you getting the workbook, but you're getting the rep that we have you do, kind of like a homework or a practice assignment, which each of the 21 irrefutable laws from John Maxwell. And so what I'd love to do now is kind of get to the Q &A and answer a bunch of your questions. So let's get to that right now.

1:38Perfect. Sounds good. So I'll read you a couple of questions that we had from fans and subscribers that downloaded the workbook and submitted it through the website. So first question we have is, how do you build confidence as a leader when you don't always feel fully qualified yet well i don't think you're ever going to feel fully qualified you know i people ask me often you know when i work with one-on-one coaching with you know executives or even some of the top athletes even world championship fighters and athletes golfers that have won majors they don't have total confidence all the time or feel qualified and so it's your ability actually to deal with that lack a little bit of the imposter syndrome that's actually one of the keys to your success but what i found with confidence is it's a foundationally it's keeping the promises you make to yourself.

2:24So when you make a promise to yourself, even if it's small, and I'm not exaggerating this when I say making your bed in the morning, how much water you're going to drink it. You say, I'm going to get a gallon of water or getting to the gym or amount of contacts you're going to make in business. When you start keeping the promises you make to yourself, you begin to build a reputation and a relationship with yourself that you can trust you. When I meet people that don't have self-confidence, what I know is this is somebody who consistently has not kept the promises they've made to themselves. They've started a diet or a nutritional program and they've quit it.

2:53You know, they, they got, they tried a business and it didn't work and they got out and then they did that again, or they've been in a bunch of different situations where they've set goals and not achieved them. And so self-confidence is oftentimes like self-trust. And so foundationally, it's beginning to keep the promises you make to yourself, not to other people, but the ones you intimately make to yourself. And then the other thing I teach in my book, The Power of One More, is I teach like a holy trilogy, I call it, of self-confidence. And And I say that that is faith, associations, and intentions.

3:23So let me break those down for you very quickly. The first is faith. If you believe you come from a loving God who made you in his image and likeness, if you have that faith, how can you lack confidence? If he lives within you, if he's got your back, if he's your father, if he's going to give you grace, you ought to have tremendous confidence. It's interesting. So many times I meet people that they have a lot of faith on Sunday at church or if they go to a Wednesday Bible study, but somehow when they walk around in their real life, they feel alone and abandoned. That's the antithesis of faith.

3:51And so connect to your faith. That ought to give you boldness and strength and confidence that you have that supernatural comfort and knowledge that comes with having that faith. And so faith is the first one. Second, you can mix them up, is associations in order. I mean, associations means you are who you hang around. If you hang around five or six people who are incredibly fit and eat healthy, you will begin to eat healthier and be more fit. If you hang around five or six people who are incredibly wealthy all day long and are building businesses and have ideas to be successful and save and accumulate money, that will happen for you because you have that thermostat setting I've talked about before where your identity is your thermostat setting on your life.

4:30And a lot of times if your thermostat setting is like at 72 degrees and you start getting 80, 85 degrees of results, you'll turn the air conditioner on of your life and cool it back down to get what you believe your worth. And so the easiest way to changing that setting, what you believe your worth is get around other people who could heat you up that live in a particular area at a higher setting than you do. So I've done that in many areas of my life. I've got a business group that's my associations that heat me up there. I've got another one in my faith life. I've got some that are in my physical body or my energy or my wellness.

5:01And so associations can change your self-confidence. And then third is intentions. When I was very young, I was I met Wayne Dyer. I'll fast forward the story. And when we were done, Wayne said, Ed, you're going to change the world. And at the time as a young man, I figured he probably never said that to anybody. Now, looking back in hindsight, he probably said that to a lot of people, but he stayed my friend the rest of his life. But that day he said, Ed, you're going to change the world. And I said, I am. Why? And he goes, well, it's not because of your unbelievable ability to communicate or your IQ or your way you think.

5:32Oh, I love the way you think. And I don't know if I've met a communicator as good as you, but that's not why, Ed. He goes, would you just do me a favor? I said, yes. He said, all your life, attach your confidence, not to your abilities or your results, because you'll be chasing that tail all your life. They'll be up and down, which means your confidence will be up and down. Attach your confidence to your intentions. You're a good man, Ed. You intend to do good before every meeting you have, every big event in your life, even the small ones, Ed, get connected to your intentions again, and you'll have tremendous confidence because you know you're a good man.

6:06No one had ever given me a compliment up until that time in my life, Max, where I believed them. It's the first compliment I ever got where I believed them, where he said, you're a good man. I do kind of feel like I'm a good person. And so my confidence has been beaming most of my life because I keep the promises I make to myself. I have faith. I have great associations and I connect to my intentions, not my results or my abilities. Long answer, but hopefully a thorough one. It definitely was a thorough answer. It was, I was absolutely great there. One of the next questions we have coming up here too is what is the most effective way to increase your identity as a leader if you're just pick one specific tactic that they could take away?

6:46Clarity. Complexity is the enemy of execution. And I've said this before, I'm blown away by how many people even pay me six and seven figures to coach them that after they've paid that money, when we get on the first call and I say, what's your outcome? What do you want to get done here and they're vague. Well, I'd like to be happier. I'd like to be richer. Well, specifically what? Where performance is measured, performance improves. If you don't know specifically what it is you want, your mind can't go to work on producing it and it's a vague thing. So many people are vague. They're wandering generalities in their life.

7:19You have to get incredibly specific about what it is you want, what it is you want, your culture and your company, the goals you have, the ambitions, like not get in better shape. Exactly what body weight, what body fat, what heart rate, what HRV, whatever it is, exact specific things. I want to be rich. What does that mean? What's the dollar amount? How much has to be saved? How many assets? The more specific you get, that actually gives you speed. It gives you the speed to execute quickly. Clarity does that. Great coaches, great leaders. They're just better at specificity and clarity. And most of the average people have average clarity.

7:55In fact, sometimes the longer somebody does this, they complicate things and they make it complex. And like I said, that is the enemy to executing at a high level. So clarity creates high identity. I think that was a great answer there. I definitely seen that too, from being around you and some of the events that we've ran as well. One of the other questions we have too is, have you ever been in a situation where you inherited a broken culture and what would be your first step to fix that? Listen, don't talk. First thing I would do if I inherited a broken culture is I'd walk in and acknowledge that it's broken.

8:32And then what I would do, you know, there's two types of leaders in the world. There's a type of leader that walks in and says, here I am. And there's another one that walks in and says, there you are. The here I am leader comes in and kind of beats their chest and says, I'm calling the shots. We're going to do this. I'm going to fix everything. I'm going to change it. I'm going to change it. There's already a broken culture. You get people to resent you, almost fight against you and resist you. And so what you want to be is there you are. And what that means, that's a metaphor, but what it means in terms of leadership is it means listen.

9:02Then call the shot. If you're the leader, you call the shot. You're in charge, but not before you've got buy-in, not before you've got feedback, not before you've listened. When people believe they're a part of the turnaround, they will turn it around. But if they believe they're being subjected to a turnaround, they may take that personally. You think our culture's broken. Well, I'm the one that's been here for six years. You're the new one. And so then they resist you. So I'd walk in and say, listen, clearly things have been broken around here. There's obviously a higher standard and a higher level.

9:30I'm interested in what you think about what's worked and what isn't working, and then let people express themselves. And then once you've done that, then paint the vision of where you want to go. Paint that vision and call the shot. Remember this, great leaders sell a big enough vision that the dreams and goals of everybody within their stewardship can fit inside the dream they're selling. So most times, most leaders don't sell it big enough. So if I'm on your team, I got to believe that my dreams and goals can come true if the overall companies or teams' big dreams and goals happen. Most leaders don't include people.

10:09And so here's where we're going as a company. Here's our sales goals this month. Who cares? I don't care if I'm just a, but if somehow in the way you do it, you sell it so big and so bold and so clear that I go, wow, I could see the things I want in my life happening if that thing he's selling happens or she's selling happens. So sell a big enough dream that the dreams and goals of everybody you're leading can sit inside the one you're selling. And now you're on to changing that culture. Would you say that that would fit with going to the series, the law of navigation? Oh, yeah. The law of navigation is if you're a leader, by position, you're in front.

10:48Right. Right. So you ought to be able to see things that other people can't see. We discount this all the time. One of your jobs as a leader is to say, hey, here's where we're going. Here's what it's going to take to get there. It's not going to be easy, but here's what it's going to be like when we get there. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be awesome. And then there's going to be all these other things. And by the way, when you have a big vision, you have to repeat it over and over and over again in order to navigate that direction. Your job as a leader is to navigate because you can see.

11:14And not enough leaders are conscious of here's where we're going. Here's what it's going to look like when we get there. Here's how tough it's going to be. Here's how worth it it's going to be. Can you imagine when we get there? It's going to be awesome. Most leaders never do that. Or if they do, they do it once. Great leaders repeat it because what you talk about repeatedly is what ends up happening. It actually creates the culture and the standards. Most leaders don't ever sell a big vision, don't include other people in it. Or if they do, it's too sporadic and they'd suffer from something called leadership fatigue.

11:44Here's what happens as a leader. You get tired of hearing from yourself and you start thinking, I got to come up with something new. I got to make it spicy all the time. Business in life, even with our children is more about like, especially on the business side, I would say this it's caught, not taught, but you can't get tired of saying the same things over and over again. Business is more about saying old things to new people than it is about saying new things to the same old people. The more you add new people that get on the bus, so to speak, like what Jim Collins talks about, the more you begin to do that.

12:14And the more you begin to stretch their vision and repeat it, then they know you're serious. And then if you talk about it, then you back it up with your example. They see you in there earlier. They see you there later. They see you working on yourself. They see it changing you. You validate the words with your actions. Now you got something. Too many leaders just talk and talk and talk and they show up at 10 o 'clock or they leave early or they're on vacation all the time. But when I start to see this leader sell this big vision, include me in it, repeat it over and over again, then back it up with your example, Man, now you're delivering on the law of navigation.

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15:12They're all so good. But what comes to mind when you first say that to me is the law of influence. You know, you can't allow the robots and the machines and automation and ease to begin to dominate your culture. And so I would say the law of influence, which obviously we covered here. And, you know, in my mind, it's your ability to remain influential. You know, people matter, things don't. And as AI begins to march forward, it's going to be leaders that lead. Andy Fursell and I talked about it on the podcast. Ethical leadership, utilizing AI as a tool to enhance human performance, not to eliminate humans.

15:46Now, there are going to be things that AI is going to be, they're going to eliminate some jobs. There's no question about that. And a lot of business leaders are going to try to because they don't value people. John talks about valuing people so often as well. Because they don't value people, they're going to do everything they can to just cut costs and cut costs and cut costs by using AI, in my opinion. And so that's going to give a huge opportunity and lane to those leaders who truly value people. And so it's all perspective. Are you going to use AI to illuminate jobs, cut costs, reduce it down to bare bones?

16:22or are you going to utilize AI to enhance human performance and teach your people to use AI to increase their influence per the law of influence? And so I'm committed that AI is going to be an enhancement to these wonderful people that I lead. And at any chance I get, I want to do it to create influence and impact for them and not be something that eliminates them. And I actually think that's good news for leaders to take the approach I just said, because I do think there's going to be a a convergence over the next three, four, five years, particularly in business, between companies and leaders where people know, man, they value people first and the leaders who value robots first.

17:01That may sound, oh my gosh, are we really in that time? I think we're entering that time really soon. And I think the companies who begin to build a reputation and a culture and environment where they value people, I think not only are they going to draw the best of the best to work for them. But I think people are going to want to patronize those businesses. I think people are going to want to do business with companies that value people and that they know continue to increase the role of the influence of people in their business as opposed to those that are just streaming it down to profit. Profit's important in business.

17:34It always will be, especially if you have investors. But I think hacking short-term jobs to increase short-term profitability, long-term, I think the companies who value people and utilize human means, because you'll never replace the heart of a champion. You're never going to replace part of their thinking or their mind. You can't replace heart. You can't replace emotion. You cannot replicate emotional connection and an experience that a company or a business can provide to the people that work there and their customers. So law of influence. Yeah, I definitely would agree, especially from what we've been seeing on the podcast lately.

18:10I think that relates very well. The next question we got would be, how would, how do you balance delivering results while still investing in the people? Yeah, I think sometimes in business, we start to get presented with false choices, right? So I actually think I'm not in business for a year or six months. I'm in business long-term to build something great to achieve a big vision and mission. And so the other reason this big vision, you everybody matters so much is if you're not caught up in the big vision and you lose your sight of that you will do things short term that may increase profitability short term and sabotage any chance of getting to the long-term vision there's all kinds of decisions you have to make early on in a business as it's growing or even when it's mid-size that you probably could turn a higher profit at that time like even taking more money out of the business yourself you know i didn't take money out of a lot of my businesses for seven and eight years.

19:06I was at some points, the lowest paid person in my business. People that work for me made more money. Why? Because pouring capital back into that business is going to get the long-term vision. So it's just a decision as a leader in perspective. Is your perspective that you want to do something great long-term? Are you in it to dump the business and sell it and get rich quick? We're in this culture in business right now where everything's about an exit. That's all you ever see on Instagram, right? Or getting investors, you know, the shark tank stuff, which is fine. You know, Rob Herjavec and I talked about this on the show as well.

19:39But what that's also done is it's caused business people to prematurely do things, sabotage the long-term vision, and most importantly, long-term impact, right? And so this is true with our children and raising them. It's true in our marriage. It's super true in business. And so I think it's a false choice. I'm always going to invest in people and develop people mainly because my overall mission in business and life is to use the business to serve people not to use people to serve the business and so you got to have a an outcome and a vision for your life and your business that's beyond profitability but includes profitability so i want to i want to develop people to build the business not use them That's great.

20:26I don't think you've ever said anything this in depth in the podcast in a very long time. This is the best stuff people are getting. This is great. Thank you. Last question we have here. And again, all these people submitted it for downloading the workbook, which will be in the link in the description. But if you could go back to yourself, I'm 24. This person's 27 years old. If you could go back to that time period, what would you be focusing on or what would you change? hmm okay well what i would focus on i did actually do so that's the good thing and then the list of change this would be a 900 hour podcast of what i would change but what i did do well is the first investment i made all of the time other than tithing was in myself i continued to grow myself i continue to invest and read and get to events and listen to they didn't have podcasts them i listen to cassette tapes and and um i'm really grateful that i continue to invest in myself i really believe that my results will never receive my identity.

21:21They'll never exceed it. So I've got to be able to invest in myself. I'm really, really glad that I did that. I'm really glad I learned to communicate and sell. I think that one of the most underdeveloped skill sets in this day and age is ability to sell. You may think, well, I'm not in sales. Everything is sales. Heck, getting your kids to brush their teeth and go to bed is sales, right? All the way up to closing a big deal or closing an account. And by the way, never thinking you have it figured out, remaining curious, always be a learner. You know, Tom Bilyeu and I from Quest Nutrition were talking and we both kind of identify as learners.

21:55And what that does is it keeps you humble as a leader, but it keeps you growing as a leader. John Maxwell has been really impactful on that. John always tells me, which is really funny to me, he always goes, Ed, every time I'm with you, I learn something. And I'm like, no, you don't. I learned something from you. But I actually, over the years have begun to believe him because he's seeking to learn still, even in his late seventies. And so I would say, always be growing, always be learning, always be curious, always invest in pouring yourself because it starts with you. Um, what I regret is I wish I would have relied on God's grace more when I was younger.

22:29I wish I would have given myself a little bit more peace, but I wasn't as connected in faith at that time. The other thing I wish that I would make biggest mistake is I let my temper get the better of me when I was younger. I think I led too much by intimidation and force than vision, grace, and belief. And at some point that shifted where I realized if I could pour belief into people and get them to believe in themselves and get them to believe I believed in them, that they're going to want to live up to that investment of belief. And that was just an invisible thing to me. And so I allowed my temper, I allowed emotions to rule me.

23:05I made decisions during emotional states. Always, I've told you, Max, never making a decision in high emotion. It's always when you make the bad ones, when it's too euphoric or you're too down. So I don't make, I don't make massive life decisions when I'm in an emotional state. I wait until I'm in a neutral state because when emotions are high, intellect is usually low. And so I wait till my emotions subside. You know, now when I do get angry or frustrated, I pause and say, I'm going to wait a day to send this email. I'm going to wait a day to send this text. And I find that by the time that that time passes, when my emotions change, 99 % of the time, the tone and message I'm going to deliver is different.