21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Q&A Season 2, w/Ed Mylett

0:00I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6 p.m. And my third day, 6 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. and you definitely can't afford to waste it, waiting weeks on a big bank for capital?

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1:06This is the Ed Myland Show. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. Very excited. I promised you extra Q &A sessions, and we're going to deliver on that today because we have literally had thousands of questions submitted to the show. And so right now we're in between season two and season three of John Maxwell's 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. and I wanted to take a pause and step back and answer some of your questions so that the content suits you as we move forward and we're not sort of guessing as to what you need to know or what some of the things are that you need help with and so I've asked Max our producer to join me here today in reading to me some of your questions I don't know what these questions are going to be but we're going to take a few of them today and I'm gonna do my best to help you and support you and again if you're listening to the show or watching it you can submit your questions Max Where do they go to submit their questions if they want to get them answered on the show?

1:56So we'll have a link in the description. If you download the 21-page workbook, there's a section there where you can fill out, ask a question. You also get the rep for each while you've been teaching, and you get to follow the series as well. So there's a link in the show description is what you're saying? Yes, so I'll have a link in the show description. Or you can go to edmylett.com probably and submit your email there too, right? Yes, you can. And then our first question that we have here is one of the subscribers who did submit it through the workbook is struggling how to paint a vision in their workplace.

2:27They don't know how to necessarily motivate the rest of their team. So how would you advise them to paint a vision on where they're going? All right. I'm going to answer the question. Before I do that, one thing I want to clear up for everybody. If you're new, sometimes we forget that there's so many new people as the show's been growing so fast. We have built you a workbook that's free. That's 21 pages. There's no hook. There's no charge. There's no upsell. There's no click funnel. There's a workbook. If you go to the show description, 21 pages that we created for you for these 21 episodes that you can go download and share with yourself, your church, your business, your colleagues, sports teams that you might coach.

3:04We've created that for you. So I just want to make sure that I put that in there so that you all know what the workbook is when we're referencing it. Okay, how do you paint a vision or stretch the vision or sell a dream to your team, your family, your organization? So let's get into some real specific things about this. Number one, when you're selling a dream or a vision, you have to be cognizant as a leader, your position is in front, right? That's where the leader is. And as a result of that, you ought to be able to see things that the other people can't see because their point of view is different.

3:38And that's the leader's point of view. Why do I tell you that because you have to sell a big enough vision in a big enough dream? That the dreams and visions of all of the people within your stewardship that you lead fit inside the one that you're selling And this is really important. I don't think enough people Focus on thinking big one of my favorite books is the magic of thinking big But I don't know that as a leader most people know you got to stay in the big and you got to sell it big by the way You can't sell something you don't believe you can't cast a vision that you really haven't bought yourself But oftentimes I don't think enough leaders know the bigger you sell it You've literally created a space that now exists before you did this That is a possibility of what could happen.

4:22So if you don't express a big vision sell a big dream You've eliminated any possibility of it and just the fact that you express it that you sell it that you communicate it creates a space that didn't exist before you did and And so it's got to be big as a father as a mother a big vision for our families going and what we're going to do And how we're going to make a difference in the world and where we're heading and that we're the one in our family as a business leader Tell me where we're going. How great is it going to be when we get there? How big is it going to be you're not you're not saying things are great right now What you're saying is things are going to be great And here's what it's gonna look like and here's how special it's gonna be and it's gonna be awesome And here's where you fit in because you have to remember something Really, most of leadership is vision.

5:07It's telling us, where are we going? Why is it going to be worth it? How awesome is it going to be when we get there? Because that allows you, that gives you permission to define reality now and say, hey, we're not where we want to be, or we're struggling right now, or we're down. But guess what? This is where we're going to be going. This is what's possible for our team. And when you realize that you're doing this, you have to remember one thing. The people you're leading, they're sitting there going, okay, that's great for the company, or that's great for our family or that's great for the team.

5:34But what about me? I have goals and dreams as well. And what happens for leaders oftentimes is they sell it so small. The person listening is like, I don't see my dreams happening inside this one. I see you as the owner. You're going to get rich or you're going to get recognition or something good is going to happen for you. I don't see it happening for me. And so it's got to be big enough that the goals and dreams of everybody you lead can fit inside the one you're selling. That's number one. And so that means you need to take some time privately and see it. Where do we want to go? What could it look like?

6:07What are the possibilities? I do something called possibility projecting, which is, it's just writing of what's possible. And if this happened and that happened and we caught a break there and we got that account and then we did this and we did that and we scaled here. What could be possible? And not enough people are possibility projectors. I am a possibility projector and an impossibility achiever. And the reason I've achieved the impossible in my life is I'm not super talented. I'm average and ordinary. I really believe a lot of it, Max. I attribute to my time spending, seeing the future, dreaming, envisioning.

6:43By the way, you don't have to know exactly how you're going to get there in order to see it. Like right now where I'm sitting, I'm sitting in our saloon. This sounds weird. I'm sitting in a saloon on an island that I own. And what I'm doing is I'm looking out at the ocean from my point of view right now, and I can see land from here. I now know by seeing that land, if that was my ambition to get there, I can talk about getting there and how amazing it will be when we get to that island out there that I could see. I don't have to necessarily know how we're going to get there yet. That's not what I just said.

7:18I didn't say I have to know everything. I didn't say everything has to be in place. I said you have to be able to see. I see that island. Man, it'll be amazing when we get there, because on that island, There's boats and kayaks and the best fruit you've ever had in your life and unbelievable pineapples And it's gonna look like this and we're all gonna get you understand what I'm saying And then me as a person on your team ago. Well, yeah, that's I'd love to get there. So that's number one seller big enough number two repeat it Over and over and over and over again repetition Matters when selling the dream you say it once it's like oh, that's cute But all of a sudden people get around you they go boy.

7:53She's not stopping on this It seems like every time we get up and have a meeting she mentions this dream this vision And then what happens is when you repeat it over and over again, then you can tie accountability to it Then you can tie like once you've sold the big vision Then most of your meetings go hey, here's what we got to get done today Here's what it's gonna look like. Here's what's going wrong And remember the reason is this big vision and dream and then the next time this big vision and dream And then maybe it's an email that you send out. Hey, just remind everybody. We got to get X Y and Z done this week But this is why this is what it's gonna look like and constantly repeat it.

8:27Most leaders get tired of repeating the dream and selling it, Max. They get leadership fatigue. They get tired of hearing themselves say the same thing over again, and oftentimes in business, remember this, everybody, and in family, and in church, it's not always about saying new things to old people, the same old people. It's about saying old things to new people. If you're a great pastor, you know, the story of the Bible and salvation is at the core of every message. It's not about changing up the story all the time. It's about growing the crowd who hears that same old story. And so as a leader, don't get fatigued.

9:07Repeat it over and over again, almost to the point where people are rolling their eyes. Let them roll their eyes because what you're doing is you're ingraining that vision. There's almost like, Like, you know, people say, you know, or are you involved in a cult? I'm like, well, Starbucks is a big old cult. I can tell you that. And one of the reasons is the leader cast a big vision. So there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, there's something great about it. You go into any locker room anywhere in the world, I can promise you that that coach is selling a vision and a dream. So repeat it. Third, I think one of the great things of selling a dream is you ought to have an enemy.

9:44You ought to have what you're against. a crusade, a mission, a cause. Sometimes a cause is what you want to do. We want to cure cancer, but what you're against is cancer. So I'm not saying necessarily you have to tear something down, but I'm saying you got to stand for something. It's got to be bigger than the pineapples, right? It's got to be bigger than money. It's got to have a cause and a mission and a purpose, and people got to get a feeling when they're around you that they're making a difference. Heck, if you're really great, they're making history. They're contributing. One of the great needs in life is the need to contribute, to make a difference, to know that what I do matters.

10:22And that's the cause and the dream. And sometimes it's like if I owned a bunch of gyms, maybe your enemy is obesity. Maybe your enemy is trainers who don't know what they're doing. Coke versus Pepsi, right? So your enemy could be another company. Your enemy could be what you're against. Your enemy could be bad products in the marketplace. But your enemy could also just be a cause. Cure cancer. Cancer is the enemy, right? If I was in the financial business, you know, it might be one of your enemies is financial illiteracy. The people just don't know, and you want to cure that, right? It might be if you're in the mortgage business, people getting the wrong loan.

10:55If you're in the real estate business, not having a competent realtor, buying a property they can't afford. You understand what I'm saying, right? If you're in the supplement business, your enemy might be people that are not getting the, they're getting a deficiency of whatever that mineral or vitamin is in their life. That could be the enemy. It also could be that another company isn't as good as yours, but you've got to have an enemy. And then lastly, and I think this is a really, really big deal, you've got to back it up with your example. They've got to look at you and say, oh, they're serious.

11:25They work like they mean this. They act like they mean this. And by the way, people are watching you all the time. Most things as a leader are caught, not taught. what you're saying oftentimes means absolutely nothing if they can't see you acting like it. So if you're a big leader, you say, hey, we're going to conquer the world. You show up late every day or leave early, or you're constantly on vacation. Your actions say this isn't really legit, right? If you say what we do matters and we do what's right for the consumer, the client, the customer every time, but then they see when a hard decision comes, you don't do that.

12:03you take advantage of a customer, you don't deliver, your customer experience doesn't matter to you, then those are hollow words. And so what solidifies it, what galvanizes a team, is the leader's example. Long answer because it was one of the best questions we've been asked on the show in years. This episode is sponsored by Rowe. A lot of people assume GLP-1's cost a fortune and that assumption keeps them from even looking into treatment. But the reality is GLP-1 medications may be more affordable and accessible than people realize. Roe helps people find a more affordable path to FDA approved GLP-1 treatment, whether that's through insurance coverage or cash pay options.

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14:22Yeah, definitely. It was a very important question. I'm glad you were able to answer that really well. The next one we got from another subscriber would be, what advice would you give to somebody who wants to lead with a bunch of confidence, but also wants to blend in kindness and humility? Well, those are my favorite leaders, my favorite people, actually. I think if I evaluate it like my best friends, they have this nuance of tremendous confidence and humility. Let me explain. a person or a leader who's full of confidence and they're brash and they're very optimistic but they're ego driven meaning they have no humility they eventually repel people it becomes almost nauseating it's there's an arrogance there's frankly people don't trust people like that and I see this often in people where people become so confident especially as they start to get success with no humility these people usually burn out, they flame out, they make a mistake, they have a huge setback.

15:20But then on the other hand, when you meet people with tons of humility, which is a wonderful thing, but no self-confidence or no confidence in where they're going, those people drain you because you're constantly having to pick them up and encourage them and believe in them over and over. They're always down. They're always a victim. They're always a sob story. So neither of those people work. The best leader has both. And what they need to see from you is that you're tough, but you care. That you've got a vision, but you're flexible. That you know where you're going, but you need their help. Not enough leaders say, I need you.

15:55That reflects humility. Not enough leaders say, I made a mistake. I got it wrong. I called the wrong shot. I'm sorry. That's humility. And yet have confidence in the next decision that you call. I think the way that you do that is that you ask for people's buy-in. You ask for people's opinions. The other thing that I don't see enough leaders do is asking about personal things before they get to business. When I was younger, I would get right in, right to business, where are we going if I met one-on-one with somebody? And now I've learned, I wanna know about this person. And by the way, even if I've known them for 20 years, how are they really doing?

16:33How's their family really? How are the people they love? How's their mental health? How's their physical health? How's their financial life? How's their spiritual life? How are things going? When people know you care about them, right, they want to deliver for you. Furthermore, when they know you believe in them, you know, I often say a lot that love is the most powerful force in the world, but sometimes a step beyond, hey man, I love you, is I believe in you. And then you tell them why you believe in them specifically. So it's not like, hey man, you're a superstar. I believe in you. That's general, vague, and it's pontification and doesn't have any depth to it.

17:12But if you say, listen to me, Sarah, I want to tell you why I believe in you so deeply because I do. And then you're specific. It's your work ethic or it's how you handled that event or it's this thing I've seen you do or you repeatedly show up for people. And you're very specific because when you speak truth to somebody and it's really true, like you see something in them they kind of intuitively know to be true about themselves you have a connection you've you become yoked with them that creates a depth of a relationship where you guys are partners now so I would ask all those things and then the other thing I would say to you is you know one of the things that reflects the most humility to me is thanking people when they do a great job.

17:55Thank you. Thank you. It's the I need you. I love you. I believe in you. It's thank you. And that's the confidence of where you're going. It's that total package of a well-rounded person who's interested in you personally as well that I think makes a leader that builds something awesome in life. And I will tell you this. You also need to recognize people. People will do more for recognition than they will even for money. Acknowledge people. Love on people. You'll change people's lives by doing all of those things. And so to me, that's a leader who has a leader who has confidence says, I know where we're going, but I need your help to get there.

18:31I know where we're going, but I need you to help us with the directions. And I need your information. I need your ideas. And then to pour enough belief into people and then show them that by giving them the autonomy to take initiative and not overlap them all the time, thinking you know how to do it better. By the way, there are plenty of things in your business that you probably could do better than some of the people around you but now you're thinking like a business person who's one year at a time I'm thinking a decade at a time I'm thinking about building the bench building the team building leaders so short term could you do it better probably but long term you're suppressing their leadership you're suppressing their growth you're expressing you're suppressing their expansion so there are a lot of things in business where I could have micromanage like I did when I was young but I no longer do because I'm playing the long game I'm investing they may not do it as well.

19:21They may even make a mistake. Same thing with children. So many parents are overbearing. I'm just watching this video today and this pastor said, look, there's no elite eight-year-old athletes. Stop micromanaging your children in sports. Stop living through your children. Give them some time to expand, to express, to make mistakes. You don't have to intervene every time something happens at school and their teacher isn't fair or a kid mistreats them. Let them navigate life because you're playing the long game as a parent in raising somebody who's going to face adversity all their life. They're going to face things that aren't fair all their life.

19:56And if you constantly overlap and handle all of that, about four of them, short term, it's easier, but long term, you're going to have a person out in the world who can't handle adversity, can't handle their victim all the time. They're emotionally ill-equipped to deal with challenges because they've got no history of doing it. Well, as a business leader, the same things true. If you're constantly doing things for people all the time, you're suppressing their leadership. You're suppressing their growth. You're just playing a short game. You're not playing a long game. And great companies play the long game.

20:24Great parents play the long game. Great leaders do. Definitely a great answer there. I think that also kind of can come up with our next question too, from a person who's also kind of leading from a, wants to lead from a kindness perspective. They actually are in a non-leadership role and they're asking how would they show leadership in their position and not come as a threat or a challenge to their leader who they think is weaker in leadership? Yeah, that's a tough one. So the first thing is there are a lot of times when a leader is weak that's above you that any of your success, they believe your success shrinks them.

21:01And so, by the way, you can't deal with the emotions of a leader like that. There's nothing you can actually do. But what I would say is if you're dealing with a leader like that, okay, what they want is credit. What you want is just to get the job done. And so what I would tell you is get the job done and let them take credit. Get the job done and even give them some credit. I wouldn't do a lot to try to emotionally massage an emotionally immature, psychologically immature person. They're going to be threatened by you because maybe they do think you're better than them. Maybe they do think you're smarter than them.

21:43And I've had that in my career and in my life. I've had it even in this industry. And what I have found is I've had to ask myself, what is it that I really want? What I really want is I want to get better. What I really want is I want to learn. What I really want is I want to grow. I want to contribute. I want to be a part of a team. Do I really need credit? Do I really need credit? And I've just concluded that I don't need the credit. It's okay if you do, but the way you deal with somebody like that, who's intimidated by you, and a lot of you are nodding right now. You're working with someone who's above you in some leadership or management position.

22:24And the truth is they're threatened by you. they're intimidated by you. They might even be jealous of the fact that you've just got this ability or this talent or this confidence or this faith. So I often ask myself, what would Jesus do in that case? And I don't believe he would want any credit. One of my favorite stories about Christ, imagine this, the night before he knows he's going to be crucified, He's got his guys gathered around. They're going to have a little food, right? He could do anything that night. By the way, he knows a few of them, they're probably going to betray him or harm him.

23:06What's he do that night? What's he do? He washes their feet. He serves them. He's a servant leader. I think the best way to always lead, especially if you're the top leader, is be a servant leader. But when you're the underneath leader and there's a weak emotional person above you, you must be a servant leader. And you just serve. And you're not looking for credit. Now, this may sound extreme, but you're willing to wash your colleagues' feet. You're willing to wash their feet, even if they would betray you, even if they are jealous of you. Because what you're focused on is what you can control.

23:45You're focused on getting the job done. You're focused on growing. You're focused on making a difference. This person's obsessed with credit. Give it to them. You get the job done. Now, by the way, long term, if this person's in that position, you need to probably leave or move above them. But in the interim, in order to get the job done, be a servant leader and don't look for credit. In fact, give them credit so that you can continue to serve and make a difference. That would be my advice. Tough one, though. Yeah, that is a difficult question. I think you answered that very well. Yeah, we have one more for you that we wanted to answer.

24:19So we just finished up season two, which covered up the leader's influence. So the focus on it was more connection, momentum, and the team. This next season we're transferring is the leader's legacy, where the focus would be more sacrifice, multiplication, and crossing the finish line. What is something that you would advise someone watching this to transition from focusing on the leader's influence to get ready to focus on the leader's legacy? yeah that's something for me that came with with age um number one i want to go back to servant leadership that there's lots of different leadership styles and the one that suits me the best that i believe is the most effective which is the sort of people that i want to work with is the person who we can serve together so i would reflect on that um in terms of legacy I believe the legacy is the difference you make.