7 Habits to Make Your Goals Stick

0:28So, hey, guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now?

0:33This is The Ed Myron Show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So I'm excited for today because I'm going to cover a topic a lot of you have asked us to cover on the show. Basically, what we're going to go through today is how your habits deliver on your goals. So essentially, it's got a little bit to do with goal setting, but delivered by the habits that we create. I'm going to give you seven steps to making your goals a reality by delivering with them on habits that serve you. And that is one of the things that you've got to evaluate first before we get into the seven steps is, it's great to have goals and outcomes in our life, but if we don't develop habits that serve us, and we don't have the ability to create new habits, we're probably going to produce the same exact results over and over again.

1:15You know, about 90 % of our choices and thoughts every day are identical. And so that's why, as a consequence, we produce the same external results. In life, it's much more important to be focused on what's going on inside of us as opposed to what's going on outside of us Because everything once it leaves us is outside of our control We can control the things that are inside of us, which are our habits And the reason habits matter so deeply I like james clear's work on this And other people's including mine in my book the power of one more I have a whole chapter in there of how to develop healthy habits that serve you But one of the reasons habits matter is not just our day-to-day life, but under pressure in life, under stress, we always respond reflexively.

1:58And so it's our reflex to respond habitually. So there's a lot of autopilot in life. That's true. It's why sometimes you can be driving and not even be thinking. And just kind of just pull right off the freeway, go to your house, take the left, take the right. You don't remember how you got home sometimes because you're on autopilot. You're on habit mode. But under stress and pressure, we respond to these habits that are ours. And so how do we develop these new habits that serve us as opposed to the ones that don't? You show me your habits and I'm probably going to show you your life. I'm going to show you the difference that separates people is what they do habitually.

2:30And so we're going to talk about how to shift that a little bit. So one thing a habit has to have to exist is conditioning, meaning you've got to be able to do it over and over and over again so that it can replace something that was there before. And so for me, when I look at an athlete, for example, that's very, very successful, if I deduce what their habits are and I develop the same habits, I've got a higher likelihood of producing the same results as that athlete if I behave in a certain way. In other words, there's a consequence for choices in behavior. And when we choose the right behavior over and over again, success is really not that difficult.

3:00It's a collection of habits. And so if you wonder whether or not you can be successful or achieve your goals, that's really not the question. The question is whether you'll invest the time to get serious about changing the habits that would deliver on those goals. Goals without an attached habit are really useless, right? But actually having great habits with no goal is also useless. You'll just be going through the motions without producing a result. And so let's talk a little bit about the goal part first. Seven things that I want to cover today as it relates to goals and habits. Number one thing with your goals, write this down, specificity.

3:33You've got to get more specific with what exactly it is that you want. Imagine if you were going to invest in a company and they put their annual report out and they go, yeah, we want to be profitable. Or we made some money. Would you invest in that company? You would want to know specifically exactly what was the top line revenue? What was the bottom line revenue? What are your expenses? What's your forecast? Specifically that you believe the dollar amount you're going to hit the street. You would never invest in a company that did not give you specific markers for what they've done and could not tell you specifically what they want to get done and what their goals and outcomes are.

4:07Yet most human beings are wandering generalities about what they want. I want to be more fit. I want to be happy. I want to be wealthy. I want to make a lot of money. What does that mean? You wouldn't invest in a company that didn't have those types of specifics. Yet every single day, we're walking around wondering whether success will invest in us. Success is not going to invest in you if you're general. By the way, your mind cannot go to work. Your brain cannot go to work on processing a nonspecific general result. It doesn't know how to do it. It's got to be specific. I want 10 of those. I want to weigh 125 or 186.

4:42I want 12 % body fat or whatever it might be. I want$100 ,000 in income. I'm going to have five meetings. These are specific things. Then you can build a habit backwards from them. I'm talking about even the people that I coach that pay me a significant amount of money. When we first encounter, I was working with a brand new person just the other day, and he said, I just want a win. I just want a win. And I said, okay, what's that win look like? And he goes, I want FU money. I said, okay, cool. I love that. I love your passion for it. What's FU money? He didn't have an answer. And that's why he doesn't have FU money, right?

5:24He doesn't have it. And the reason he doesn't have it is he has never gotten specific about what that looks like. And there's a power to getting specific. Right when you begin to get specific, your brain wants to develop habits to deliver on that outcome if you repeat it over and over again. Why? Because your brain is constantly trying to conserve energy. It's always trying to create a habit so that it doesn't have to think, so that under pressure, it'll just be reflexive. Okay? So your brain wants to form a habit to serve your specific outcome. But when that outcome is nonspecific and general, it'll always revert back on producing the nothingness that that goal is delivered by the habits you already have.

6:06So specificity is critical. So what I'm saying to you is when you review your goals, whether that be for the year, the month, or the day, I want to have a good day. What does that mean? clearly. The more clear, the more specific you are, the higher probability is that you'll deliver on it and that you will begin to create the habits that support it and reinforce it on a regular basis. Because remember, habits need conditioning. You developed this habit you have because you conditioned it over and over again. And the only way that it's going to get replaced with a better one is by conditioning it over and over again.

6:38And the only way you're going to condition it is if it's specific, if it's specific, okay? So please, today I want to make 10 contacts, then it's 10. Or if I'm going to sit on, I'm making it up, you're going to do curls in the gym, right? I want to do 10 curls at 30 pound dumbbells, whatever they might be, specific, and we're going to talk about this later, measurable and tangible, okay? And so whatever that is, you got to have an exact amount you want so that we can produce an exact habit. But then the reticular activating system in your brain knows how important this is to you and will begin to find the resources, the people, places, and the things that have always been around you but that you've been oblivious to before to deliver on it.

7:22In The Power of One More, my book, I talk about the matrix. I call the reticular activating system the RAS in your brain as the matrix because it's sort of what reveals to you what's important. It can actually slow things down when you're an athlete or create the habits that you need to deliver on it. So this part of our brain's really critically important to program it. It can't program on a nonspecific general thing. And I'm going to tell you, 99 % of people, even the people who, you know, are one-on-one coached by me, aren't specific. And it's the major part of my work with them. Even athletes go, I want to win the fight.

7:57Specifically how? Specifically when? I want to have a good game tonight. Specifically, what does that mean? Three for four? Two hits? You want to shoot 68? like exactly what does it look like so that we can build the habits to back that up. And it might not even be that they want to score a number. It might be that I want to hit 10 crisp golf shots right on the button, 10 of them today, right? Great. Or I want to only have 25 putts. Great. These are specific things that we begin to adjust. You'd be amazed at how much your brain wants to reserve energy. It doesn't want to think. It wants to build a habit so it doesn't have to think anymore and expend energy on it.

8:33So that's the good news. So specificity. Number two, what's the catalyst step? Just write down catalyst step. See, I think that everything, James Clear has this thing where he talks about the two-minute rule, the two-minute idea, where if you could just get something done for two minutes, it's the beginning of a habit that can give you the catalyst to success. I call mine a catalyst step, meaning if you can just do one thing, Oftentimes there's one move that if you make it, it can handle seven other things. So ask yourself, what's the catalyst step I could take today? So like there's this notion when you go to the gym, some people say showing up is half the battle.

9:13No, it's not. It's not. It's not half the battle. However, it is part of the battle. And so it can be considered a catalyst step just getting to the gym. That's not half the battle. It's not even 20 % of the battle. But it is part of the battle. So perhaps a catalyst step is getting to the gym. Maybe a catalyst step is, you know, in your business life that you're going to, you know, pick the phone up five times in a given day or type seven emails. But it's some catalyst. You do something that's a catalyst to create change. John Maxwell talks in his book about the law of the catalyst that is a person in an organization.

9:50They're a catalyst for change. So ask yourself, have you got a specific goal of, I want to make$100 ,000 this year, or I want to weigh 180 pounds, or whatever it might be, ask yourself the next question. Am I specific enough? And what's the catalyst habit that I would need? What's the catalyst habit? For example, for me, my energy was very, very low years ago. And I decided the catalyst habit that I could control was drinking a gallon of water a day. That was my outcome. Follow me. My outcome was one gallon of water a day. Okay? However, that was a habit that was difficult to create. So I said to myself, what's the catalyst step that could get me in the door?

10:29And that was this. Here's the catalyst step. I left a one liter bottle of water next to my bed, just a liter for when I woke up in the morning. And my catalyst habit was when I woke up, I drank that liter of water before I did anything else. That was a catalyst step to get me towards my outcome that was specific, which was drinking a gallon for the day, which was to live on my overall goal, which was to feel more energy and health and vitality in my life. So that's an example of a catalyst step. What is a catalyst that you could do to get you into the game, to get you moving, much like James Clear's two-minute idea?

11:05These are huge things because you can start going step by step. It might be just getting to the gym. It might be ordering that microphone for the podcast you're going to start. Just ordering the microphone. That's a catalyst step. Why does that matter? Because deliberation is delay. Strategy is oftentimes like strategic procrastination in the sense that what you're doing is you're going into all this planning phase, but really it's mocking. you need more planning, you need more time, you need more strategy. That's all an excuse not to take action. And what I'm saying to you is I cannot teach you how to drive a parked car.

11:43The most important thing you can do is to just get going. You've got to write an entire book. Maybe the catalyst step is you're going to write the first sentence of the book. I had a friend of mine when I was struggling writing The Power of One More, I just couldn't get decided on what I wanted the book to be about exactly. He said, forget writing the book. He said, write out what you want the chapters to be first. You don't have to even have a title of the book yet. What would the chapters be? And so I wrote the chapters out, just the titles of the chapters, not what was in the chapters, not what I was going to say about them, not the content, not the quotes, not the title of the book, not even the flow of the chapters.

12:17Just what would the chapters be? And what that did is it was a catalyst step to get me out of delay, to get me out of procrastination, to get me away from deliberating about it or strategizing about it or planning about it. it got me in motion. And then I wrote those chapters out. I went, no, that wouldn't be the order. I'll flip this. And then the next morning I will go, no, that wouldn't be a chapter that could fit in that one, but I'm going to make this a chapter. And then all of a sudden I started recording audios that would start in the book. But the catalyst habit that moved me was the idea of writing the chapters out.

12:51The catalyst habit of drinking the gallon a day was to get the one liter of water by my bed, right? And to stop deliberating, stop delaying, stop strategy sessions that end up being procrastination sessions. Okay. So huge, huge deal. Third, this is a big one. Identify the biggest obstacle or distraction to you getting the goal done. What will likely be the biggest obstacle or distraction? Because really oftentimes in life, it's not about just adding a new habit for a goal. It's about eliminating one that's obstructing our outcome. So part of what we've already created is a catalyst habit. So it's creating a new habit.

13:29The third thing then is identify what the obstacle is or the biggest distraction. So could that distraction be Netflix? Could it be your phone? Could it be a particular room you're in? Right. Could it be a person? Could it be a thought? Right. Could it be something else you're doing that's no longer important to you, that's taking up the time that is required to do this new thing you want to do. But if you don't identify what's obstructing you, what the distraction is, oftentimes you will revert back. But you're a pretty powerful person immediately when you've got specificity to your outcomes, right?

14:06That's a big deal. You've developed a catalyst stepper habit, and now you've removed and identified the biggest obstacle or distraction. That's a huge thing. And maybe the biggest obstacle or distraction is your lack of self-confidence. And you need to immerse yourself in personal development as you get going. But to some extent, if you can, like for me, I know for the most part, my distraction is getting into doing things that I call in the small. I get into the small things. I get into the weeds too much instead of staying in the big and creating the big things and doing the big things that move things.

14:38I would say also that prior to the change I've made recently with, you know, I've had some health challenges. So I've gotten off of social media. One of the best things I've done in a long time for my physical and mental health. But also it's eliminated a huge distraction. It's just, I can't imagine. You can't even begin to imagine how much time you have when you're not in this stupid phone looking at stuff that doesn't mean anything. It's really incredible. Or that doesn't even make you feel good anyway. So that phone was, maybe it's the news, right? Maybe it's you're obsessing over the news.

15:06You know, it could be a TV show you're too caught up in. If you wonder whether or not you can build a new habit or not, or you could become obsessed with something. Think about the last time you fell in love with some TV show on Netflix or Amazon and you streamed 18 of them in a row. So you're pretty good at staying focused, aren't you? Right? You got pretty specific with what you wanted to do, but what that stuff can become is becomes the obstacle or distraction and not the thing that leads to our success. And so identify that. Number four, success leaves footprints. Listen, there's a pathway already there.

15:37There's no hacks or shortcuts to success, but there kind of are. I was getting a new phone yesterday and the young man that worked in that store is 20 years old and he's got a baby. I got to know him pretty well as we were sitting there. It ended up being a few hours of getting a new phone and I just loved him. And he had so many questions for me, you know, about success in life. And he just wants to be somebody so badly. Like he's got a fire burning in him that I didn't see with other people that worked in there, but I did see in him. He's, you know what I mean? That special one. He's got a fire.

16:07He wants to be somebody, wants his life to be awesome. He wants to compete. He wants to be successful. He wanted to be wealthy like many of you do. And he said, is there any tips, Mr. Milet or hacks or shortcuts? I said, you know what? There's no shortcuts to success. And I said, well, there actually is. Success leaves footprints. He goes, what do you mean? I said, well, the quickest way is to find somebody who's already done what you want to do and get as close to them as you can. If getting as close to them as you can is reading their book, then you're closer than when you didn't read the book.

16:37If it's listening to their podcast, listen to their podcast and maybe you're closer to them there. Not just me, anybody. I'm not necessarily saying that with me. Or I said as a young person, see if you can't go to an event or a seminar they have and best go to work for them. If you can go to work, he goes, I don't know what industry I want to get into. What do you think? And I named a few different industries and I said, he said, well, maybe I'll get into real estate. I said, well, if it were me and I was going to get into real estate, I'd find out who the top broker in this town is or in this area is, and I would go to work for them.

17:08And I'd work for as little as I have to work for to pay my bills, to get up close and to learn. And I told him, I said, there's this great Chinese proverb. And I said, the proverb goes like this. If you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back because they've got footprints they've left. And so success leaves clues, but it leaves footprints, the exact steps to take. So go find somebody who has taken those steps and learn from them and duplicate it and make it your own. Don't copy them, model them. There's a difference when you copy someone and you become like a knockoff version of them.

17:40And it almost looks like you're doing an impression of another person. I've watched a lot of people do that. That comes across inauthentic, not very congruent, not real, because we're all unique human beings with their own talents and nuances and idiosyncrasies. And so when you just verbatim copy somebody. It's just a weaker knockoff version. But modeling somebody is slightly different. That's learning from them and then making it your own to fit your personality, your intensity level, your talents and giftedness. So model someone who's left the footprints. And that's a much faster way to get to your goals.

18:16And the thing that you should be modeling in them are their habits or is their habits? What are their day-to-day habits they have that have delivered on the results they've gotten? Because oftentimes we're not sure what the habit is we need to form, but somebody else does know. And so whether that's reading their book, listening to their podcast, going to their event if they have one, or going to work for them. And for the record, I'm not talking about me. I mean, I wouldn't be the person to teach you real estate. I'm just giving you an example. So whatever that industry is, find the best person in it and get as much information from them as you possibly can.

18:53With the advent of social media, that is one of the great gifts that you could follow somebody who's in a particular industry or craft you want. And people are pretty free with giving away information now for free on their podcast, on their social media. So you can begin to learn from them. Number five, depth perception. I think most people don't realize that they're much closer to their dream and their goal than they realize And so most people don't have a lack of vision or a goal what they have is a depth perception problem They think they're further away than they are from the goal Because they think it's so far away and by the way, it could be years away But you think it's really far away because you think it's so far away You behave like it.

19:36You've created thoughts patterns and belief systems That will always keep it there that far away because you think it's so far away. And it's a lie. The truth of the matter is you're probably one decision away, one mentor away, one new habit away, one new strategy away, one new catalyst habit away from completely changing your life. And so there's a depth perception issue for most people, which is they believe these things they want in their life are further. That doesn't mean it doesn't take a long time. Doesn't mean you don't need aggressive patience where you're aggressive but patient. It does mean though you should be in a hurry.

20:09Not enough people are in a hurry. I meet a lot of people, they're too casual. They walk too slow, they talk too slow, they don't really believe anything's coming around the corner that's going to change their life, so as a consequence they don't look for it. But what if you lived in anticipation that you're going to meet that next person or that next account or that one client that's going to give you tons of referrals or that one idea or that one thought or that one mentor or that one relationship or that one emotion, that one strategy? What if you lived in anticipation of that, that your depth perception changed?

20:38You said, I'm one away. I'm the power of one more away. Then your reticular activating system goes to work on finding it because you believe it's true and it's important to you. If you're oblivious to it and you think it's not going to happen forever, those very things, people, places, thoughts, et cetera, could present themselves to you and you will not see them. I always give this analogy, which I know you've heard before But if you ever buy a new car, it becomes important to your ras. I bought a tesla once And I remember everywhere on the road. I could see teslas after I bought it I mean i'm driving my family crazy.

21:12There's another one. There's a red one. There's a white one Other side of the freeway three lanes over there goes another right you've all had that happen Why? Because they became important to me because I owned one all of a sudden my ras reveals to me even things out of the corner of my eye over here. Those things were always there. Those Teslas were always there. Why didn't I see them before? Because I didn't have them as important to me and I didn't expect to. So if your depth perception is that it's years and years away, these Teslas of your life, you will miss. And these Teslas come in the forms of the one idea, the one person, the one client, the one relationship, the one thought, the one emotion.

21:47You miss them. They were delivered to you. You didn't hear them, you didn't see them, or you didn't feel them because they weren't important to you and you didn't believe strongly, your RAS is a prover. It's going to prove you right. It's going to find the things. It's almost like you have a belief system. It's like the top of a table. What the RAS is trying to do, the RAS is trying to find references to prove you right, to put legs under it until it's stable. And then once it's stable, that's why, like if you're debating politics with somebody or something like that, they had an opinion and then their brain went to find the references to prove them right.

22:19And now they're like an immovable object and you shouldn't even be talking to them. You know what I'm talking about, right? So their RAS reinforced it and then their algorithm reinforces it. And then all their friends reinforce. They got all these legs under the table. They're an immovable object because their RAS is going to prove them right. So if you strongly believe your goals and dreams and vision are right around the corner, that you're the power of one more away, then your RAS goes to find those Teslas. But if you believe it's far away, it doesn't see them even when they present themselves to you.

22:47And that's why some people become mega successful and other people don't. It's not about talent. It's almost never about talent. It has a lot to do with our mindset, our mental programming, our vision, and our goals and our habits. One of the things to deliver on a goal is the habit of accurate depth perception, accurately using your RAS to find things. And that just makes your goals important to you. See, go all the way back to number one. If I have nonspecific goals, I want to get in shape. I want to be wealthy. What's my RAS going to find to process that? Nothing. But if it's, I'm going to weigh 180 pounds and I'm going to be whatever shredded, all of a sudden your RAS listens to the article on the new protein that's out or sees the new workout or introduces you to a trainer or a workout person or a book on something.