9 Strategies to Pursue Your Purpose

0:28So, hey, guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now?

0:33This is The Ed Myron Show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So one of the things I love about our solo episodes that I get a chance to do on Thursdays is from time to time, I get a chance to just directly answer your questions. And when a question keeps coming up over and over again, my team will submit it to me and say, this is probably yet a topic for one of the episodes. And so I always get asked about passion. Should I be pursuing my passion? Doesn't my career need to be my passion? And I think passion is great. In an ideal world, we'd be doing something every second of every day we were passionate about.

1:06And so some people are fortunate enough that they get to do that. You know, they're passionate about their sport and they're a professional athlete, or they're passionate about their music and they play music full time. Although there'd be elements of their careers that they're not passionate about that they still have to do every single day. And so today I'm going to talk about pursuing something other than just passion. Maybe you should pursue this or at least nine thoughts about pursuing passion and the alternatives that exist. And again, I would love the fact that everybody did everything passionately every single day, but we also live in the real world.

1:38And so today we're going to talk about instead of just chasing your passion, here's something you could chase or something to think about. So here's nine thoughts. Number one, maybe instead of chasing your passion, you could be pursuing your purpose. There's a little bit of a difference between those two things. And when I find people that are in pursuit of their purpose, there's a deep passion that comes with that. But there's also a calling that comes on top of it. And when you find somebody that's called, I just did a podcast today with somebody that I commented to her at the end of it, that I could tell that this was her purpose.

2:10And I wanted to know how she stumbled into the work she was doing. And it was very interesting. She described a very painful experience. And so a lot of times people say ed I would love to pursue my purpose, but i'm not even so sure I know what my purpose is And purpose can come from a lot of different sources and not every single time But most of the time my good friends Who have a purpose in their life or people that even been on my show That I feel like really are on a cause and a mission in their life The source of that purpose Ironically is pain That oftentimes in life if you're struggling with finding your purpose the first thing I would say to you is Take a look at pain in your life, a painful experience, a painful moment.

2:51And you may find in that pain, your purpose will be born. Oftentimes, you know, I've met people that are incredibly passionate about raising money, let's say, for a cause for cancer. And I'll find out later that it's because they lost a parent or a sibling to cancer. The woman that was on my show does incredible work, this particular woman, on personal development and attachment theories and relationships. and personal development. She has a personal development company. And I said, where does this work come from? And it turned out that she was an addict and had a very difficult time breaking her addictive cycle.

3:26And she got into personal development in the subconscious mind and learned how to reprogram that. And so that painful experience of being an addict turned into her purpose. And so if you're struggling to find your passion, maybe you should look for your purpose. And if you're trying to find your purpose, it could come from a lot of different places. But oftentimes if you review pain, I really believe this deeply that God gives us something for our pain. He'll give us a lesson, a purpose, a relationship, an insight, a breakthrough, a new emotion. Something is given to us. And I really believe successful people, they just have a different relationship with pain.

4:02You know, I've had very successful people on my show in a lot of areas, but I had Phil Heath on my show who's won a bunch of Mr. Olympia bodybuilding contests. And I said, you know, Phil, why do you think you're so successful at bodybuilding? And one of the things I concluded in the interview myself was he just has a different relationship with pain. And, you know, everybody that's in bodybuilding, you know, goes through painful experience, let's say on leg day. But when you're the greatest of all time or one of the greats, you just pursue it even deeper that after your legs are breaking or you're throwing up, you go back and you get more because, you know, there's a benefit to the pain you're going through.

4:33Most successful people look at pain differently. It's not something that they're ashamed of. There's not something to necessarily be avoided that oftentimes they'll pursue it because they know in that they get a gift on the other side of it, whether that's bigger legs than you in a bodybuilding contest or a bigger business and a bunch of wealth for the pain you go through. Or if you survive a difficult time in a relationship and even better level of that relationship, or maybe it's none of those things. And you get a lesson, you get a gift, you discover a talent or an insight. Maybe you discover a mission and a purpose.

5:04And so take a look beyond passion and i'd love again for everything to be passionate and if you have that wonderful But oftentimes a deeper level even than passion can be purpose cause mission crusade And so that's number one thought on it Number two thing to evaluate whether you should continue to do what you're doing Is ask yourself this question when I do my job when I do my career Does it juice me does it energize me does it bring me energy? or does it just take away my energy? I think a real telltale sign of whether something is something you should do long term is when you're doing it and you're doing it well, does it energize?

5:42Does it juice you? Does it take you to a different level? Or does it just deplete you and drain you? If what you do when you're even doing it well just takes away your energy, it just depletes you, it's probably not the thing you should be doing long term. I think the reason I'm covering this today is I think there's a big part of our culture today, myself included, evaluating what should I be doing. So it's no secret that I've had some health issues recently and that causes you to evaluate, you know, is this still my dream? You know, I think it's okay to audit your life and ask yourself, is this still juice me?

6:16Does this still energize me? Is the dream I've been pursuing, the thing I've been doing, give me the energy that it once did or does it no longer do that? I think reflection and self-auditing and self-awareness about whether something energizes you or it doesn't, maybe it used to and it doesn't anymore an example for me is like you know i really loved golf for many many years i still like the game a lot but when i used to pursue golf and practice it would energize me it would give me that juice you know and now i find a lot of rounds i'm playing that it just doesn't do that that it doesn't move the needle for me anymore so do i still play golf yes but is it something i'm going to pursue with the vast majority of my free time no because i think a barometer of whether something is your place is does it give energy or take energy away from you?

7:01And so I would evaluate that. That's thought number two.

7:07Third, does it meet my needs? And does it meet my needs now? Not does it meet my needs before, but is what I'm doing now meeting my needs? You know, this was not created by me. The first time I ever heard it was from Tony Robbins, but there's basically six human needs. And so I want to make sure I give credit where I learned it from. And I'm sure potentially maybe Tony got it somewhere, but there are six human needs and there's the need for certainty in our lives, stability and certainty. Ironically, inverse of that, there's the need for uncertainty or variety, spontaneity. That's a need that we have in our lives.

7:40These aren't wants, they're needs. Need number three, depending on how you stack them up, is the need for significance or recognition, acknowledgement. That's a human need that we all have. The fourth need is the need of love and connection. It's a real need that we have as humans. The fifth need is the need for growth, to expand, to grow, to improve. And the sixth need is the need for contribution. In my opinion, at any given time in your life, one or two of these needs are sort of your dominant need. And oftentimes in life, once those needs are fulfilled, it may not be your primary need anymore.

8:16So for example, if you went into a business and the main reason you went into that business is you wanted to get recognized and wanted to be significant, you wanted to compete or, you know, make a bunch of money so you're relevant and people know you. And maybe once you've got a lot of that, that that's no longer a need of yours. And so potentially maybe that business isn't the business for you anymore. Maybe you got into that business because you wanted to contribute and to give and, and, uh, and make a big difference. And you've done all of that. And now you really have a need where I want to grow.

8:47I want to expand. And that business doesn't give you that. And so I think it's to know oneself. Does it fulfill my needs now? So if a need for certainty and stability, you know, and that's a big dominant need for you now, maybe being an entrepreneur isn't what you want right now. Maybe before when you were younger, uncertainty and variety and spontaneity is what you wanted, but now you're at a different stage of your life and you want stability and certainty. That's an indication maybe what you're doing isn't that thing. And maybe at one point you didn't care about being significant or recognized.

9:15And now you're at a point where you, you want to be somebody and you want to compete and you want to, you know, prove your merit. So maybe you need to find something that gives you significance and recognition and acknowledgement. Whereas before that didn't matter to you. Right. Maybe, you know, you, you know, at one point in your life, relationships weren't important to you, but now you want love, you want connection. And so maybe you need to make a shift to find that. So I just ask yourself, you know, if your primary need is growth, is what you're doing giving you growth, right? A lot of times people say, I don't know why I'm not passionate or I don't really feel a purpose in what I'm doing anymore.

9:51It's because your dominant need is growth and what you're doing, you're already great at and requires no growth of you. And so it's to know what your need is, is so critical in knowing what to chase. And maybe growth used to be your thing and it's not anymore. And you're like, man, I just want a ton of variety and change. And you've been doing the same thing forever. And although you loved it at one time and it's still really good, you've got a dominant need for variety. And what you're doing doesn't give you that. And so perhaps finding something that gives you that. And so it's looking at those six needs, you know, again, the needs for certainty, uncertainty, significance, love, growth, or contribution.

10:29At any given time, you've got one or two of them. And they change throughout life. oftentimes when we get an overwhelming amount of one of those needs fulfilled, it's being met and it's no longer our dominant need. For example, many, many years ago, if you wanted me to come give a speech to your company, I has a big significance need. I'm not sure that that's ever going to go away, but you said, Hey, give a big speech and there's going to be thousands of people there. And when you're done, they're going to give you an award and they're going to stand up and clap and they're going to love you. I'd say, I'll go there.

10:56Cause that was a need of mine. Now, if that was what you were going to say to me, that probably wouldn't get me to go. My needs now are more contribution related. So now to get me to go, it's a different mechanism. It's a different, um, uh, a different way to get me there, a different, uh, lever you'd have to pull different leverage. Um, and so in my case now to get me to go there, if you said, Hey, we really need you and we know you can make a difference. You could change people's lives to get there. You'd get my attention because that's more my need. And so I think you look for the catalyst that turns your chain a little bit.

11:29So third is, does it meet my needs? Number four, does it expand me? I think at any given time, we as human beings have a desire to expand. I often say I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. All human beings deep down want to expand, want to improve, want to change. It's our natural tendency to change our nature, our digestive tract, our lung tissue, even our skeletal system is constantly remaking itself over short windows of time and long windows of time. And so it's our nature to change and to expand. And so although that happens internally, very naturally, it's nature, it's our cellular system regenerates itself regularly.

12:13Our cells do. But us as a being, as a person, that has to be intentional. And there's something we need to pursue in our life, the pursuit of that change, the pursuit of that expansion is something to ask yourself. Is what I'm doing causing me to do that? Number five thing of whether you should be doing something or not doing it. I think you got to ask yourself this question. If I don't do this, will I always wonder? If I don't do this, will I always wonder? I think at the end of our lives, we don't regret the things we've tried and failed because lessons come with that. Wisdom comes with that.

12:51I think at the end of our lives, and I've been blessed to be around several people at the end of their lives, if they have regrets, it's the things they did not attempt. It's the times they lived scared. Many people live their entire lives afraid. They never step out and do it. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to get to the end of my life and always wonder. For example, my son is a golfer, and, you know, I played college baseball, and I took it as far as I could take it. but I did take it as far as I could take it. And I don't have to get to the end of my life and wonder whether I could have made it.

13:27I couldn't have made it. And I've told my son many times, I said, Max, go play for a few years. I don't want you to be 75 or 80 years old and wonder whether you could have made it or not. It's okay if you don't make it. There's nothing wrong with that at all. You won't regret that, but you will regret when you're an old man laying in your bed, wondering whether or not you could have. And so I think one of the questions you have to ask yourself about whether this is something I pursue or not is can you live with it if you didn't? At the end of your life, can you say, I would never wonder whether this worked and I don't care.

13:57But if there's a party that says, I wonder whether this could have worked, I wonder whether this business could have worked, this idea could have worked, my music could have worked, my writing, my speaking, my relationship, whatever it is, if you're going to wonder at the end of your life whether it could have worked, then I think that's an indication that's something you're going to pursue. And if you don't have that desire or that conflict internally, then I don't think it's something worthy of your pursuit necessarily. Maybe it was at one time and it's not anymore. My sixth thought about whether you should pursue something or not is this, ask yourself this question.

14:32Does this take advantage of any of my talents or giftedness? There's nothing more frustrating than watching somebody doing something every single day of their life that isn't a talent, isn't a gift. They don't have a proclivity for. I think oftentimes when you find somebody that's really happy, they have found their purpose or their passion, and then they're taking advantage of a natural talent or gift they have to utilize it in the service of other people. So there's really three elements. There's a purpose, then they use a talent or gift they have or a proclivity, and then it's in the service of other people.

15:04Those three things really make up whether something is something you should be pursuing and spending your time at. So ask yourself, does this take advantage of a talent that I have or a skill, which are different things, right? Like talent is something you're kind of born with skills or something you can learn, but ask yourself that question. Does this take advantage of one of my talents or my skills or my experience? Do I bring something to the table that gives me an advantage at this? Even with my kids, same thing when they're looking for careers, they're going to pursue. I would hope, and I've told them to try to find something that takes advantage of their three, four, five, six gifts that are unique to them.

15:38And when you find somebody really good at something, typically they've got some sort of natural talent, proclivity, skill, or experience that sets them up to be great at it. There's nothing more awesome in life than whatever you do being great at it. You're a professional pool player. You're a landscape architect or a landscaper or a business person or a school teacher or a neurosurgeon, or you work at a bank. whatever it is that you do, there's something awesome about being great at what you do and pride in what you do. And greatness almost always comes with some. That's why there's not a lot of guys that are five foot eight in the NBA.

16:16Why? Because usually it helps to have the ability to be six, three or six, eight or six, 10 to play in that business. It certainly helps to have athleticism and leaping ability, right. And, or a great hand eye coordination, whatever it might be, It takes advantage for the most part at that level to be great of a talent or skill or an experience. So same thing in your life. So number six is, does it take advantage of my giftedness of my talents? Right. And then I would say that number seven is maybe your passion just needs to be a side hustle or a hobby. It doesn't always have to be your career.

16:51You could spend something from nine to five every day that sort of pays the bills. And then after that time, you pursue your passion or you side hustle it. and it's a second business that you have, or it's a hobby. Like a lot of times you don't have to monetize your passion. You don't have to monetize your purpose. Maybe your purpose is to spend time in your church or a philanthropic cause that you're passionate about. You're not going to make any money doing that, but it also doesn't need to be your career, or it could be, but it doesn't have to be. So maybe your passion, your purpose is not a career at all.

17:20I think there's this misnomer that my career has to be my passion or has to be my purpose. Oftentimes we also have to support our families, And maybe it's after that time, or maybe we're going to work in a side hustle for three, four, five years or a decade so that we can leave our job and pursue our passion or our purpose. But not every day necessarily. I mean, in an ideal world, you'd be passionate and your purpose would be your career. But another thought I have about it is that potentially maybe it isn't. And maybe that's your side hustle. Maybe it's a hobby you have. One of my really good friends here, his passion, and he loves to fish.

17:55Well, he can't make a living fishing where he lives. And so his job isn't his passion. If I could tell you this, this guy loves to take his vacations for two weeks and go fishing. He loves to go out early in the morning on Saturdays. And he's got a rich life because his passion is his hobby. And he enjoys that. He's got a rich life. So it doesn't have to necessarily be your job in an ideal world. Of course, it would be. Maybe someday he should start a business where he does fishing expeditions. He could pursue that. But for now, it doesn't mean he's losing because he fishes on the weekends and takes vacations that are fishing trips.

18:28He's winning because he's doing something that he loves, right? And so number eight, if you're trying to find your purpose or your passion, take a look at somebody that you admire. You might find your passion or purpose through them, and it may not even be correlated. Think of somebody that you really admire. And if you look at their personality traits or something they did, that usually leaves a clue to something that matters to you. Like in my case, one of my all-time heroes, I wrote a dissertation in college on Dr. Martin Luther King. And you say, well, what in the world about, you know, Dr.

19:00King correlates to any way that what you do? Well, one of the things I admired most about him was his oratory skills. I saw, wow, amazing. Look how he can speak and move people and energize them. Well, guess what? Later in my life, I found a passion for public speaking. So found out it's something I'm pretty good at. Right. And so one of my purposes and my passions came through one of my heroes. I had to look at it. But when you look at your hero or somebody you admire, a personality trait, a skill, a talent that they have may leave a clue. There's a reason you admire them. It could be their character, their behavior, their talent, their skill.

19:36And when you begin to unpack, what is it that I admire about them and how does it relate to me? You might find it. But the other thing that he did in a massive way was change people's lives. Well, in a much smaller way, clearly, infinitely smaller, but in a smaller way, I try to make my life improve other people's lives. And I didn't know that when I was younger. I found that out as I got older. One of the things I admired so much about Dr. King. And then as I look at other people that I admired in my life, people in my personal life that were, you know, heroes to me and role models. My dad, my dad, as many of you know, was an alcoholic who got sober and my dad helped lots of other people, hundreds of other people get sober themselves.

20:18I thought, well, what is it that I admire about my dad? I admire about my dad that he helps people, that he's taken his pain and his mistakes and use them to help other people. Like I often say, you're most qualified to help the person or people you used to be. I didn't make that saying up, but I say it a lot. And so I've realized that most of the through line with the people that I admire was they change and impact other people's lives. And my dad wasn't a public speaker. He couldn't stand it. So it wasn't that every person. But when I look at the people I admire, those are the things. And that led me a pathway, a clue as to what my purpose and my passion was through looking at people you admire.

20:56So who do you admire? Right. Take a list of the two or three people you admire the most. and what about them do you admire that could correlate that you could find a purpose? Is it a character that they have, a personality trait, a mission? I don't know. Could it be a skill? It could be something they have that sort of leads you to connect with your purpose and your passion. And then last, and I think this is a big one, number nine, I want to remind you of something. My thought on it, time is running out on you. Time's running out on you. I talk oftentimes times about the weapons of the adversary uses or just negative things in our life, we could call it, which is there's doubt, there's discouragement, there's delusion, and then there's delay.

21:38Too many people are delaying in their life and not trying things. Matthew McConaughey said on my show, and I tend to agree with this, that sometimes it's a process of elimination. You've got to try a bunch of things to figure out what you don't want to do. Too many people are delaying and waiting, and they think they've got all the time in the world. There was a whole long window of time before you were born. And there's going to be a whole long window of time after you're gone. The time you're here is so small. Think about this. How much time existed in the world before you? It's a long time.

22:08And how much time will exist after your physical body is here? You're here for a flicker. You're here for a short window of time. I mean, it's so small. It's scary to even think about it. And so don't delay. Don't wait. Too many of you are waiting. You're sitting on your book. You're sitting on your great idea. You've got all this great music within you that you're not playing yet in your life because you're waiting to be perfect. You're waiting for the right time. You're waiting for the right inspiration. You're waiting to be sure this is the thing. You're only going to know until you try it.