BERT KREISCHER TELLS ALL: LIFE, DEATH & COMEDY

24:25People just go like, it would be so much cooler if Burba was here. like god we'd have so much fun like wouldn't it be great if burt was here and he just walked in with a bottle of champagne and and a crazy story or like i just like

24:43i mean i don't need to cure anything but like just for people to go like god man i wish he was here that was that would be so fun like just and i don't need it to be the world just like like a solid 100 people to just be like man can you imagine if Bert was here like that that energy I think it's what it that energy is what defines me it's what I've always wanted and searched for as a kid is is I wanted I wanted people like miss me and like I noticed that at a certain point, if I left the room, no one cared. And if I wasn't there, no one was like, where's Bert? I feel like I'm just building to hopefully get it to the place where people go like, God, man.

25:39Wouldn't it be cool if Bert was here? I know my daughters will say that, but that's it. Just like on a Sunday morning when someone opens a bottle of champagne and goes like, fuck. Burt would have brought a joint.

25:57Bro, you have said three or four things today like in the history of the show or like my favorite things ever said. And the reason there's a bunch of people crying with you, one, they want that too, and some people are sitting there going, I wonder if anybody would miss me. And you were born to do something great with your life, everybody. It doesn't mean you're going to be in millions of people. But someone ought to miss you. There ought to be a difference you've made. And if right now, if this was the last day of your life, the final chapter, you go, I don't know who would miss me. That's an indicator you need to make some changes, an indicator you need to pursue your dreams.

26:26That was like, bro, like, I had no idea where we were going to go today, and I'm so grateful that we went where we went. Oh, I'm so glad. I'm so happy you asked me to do this. Bro, like, honestly, like, come back every couple years, and let's just sit down and figure out where you're at. Plus, I want to be, and please take care of yourself. Like, we would miss you. Like, we don't want you to leave sooner than you need to leave here. If I asked you this question, because I think a lot of people here, feedback as criticism. So when - Ooh, that's a fucking powerful statement. Yeah. Because - How do you hear it?

26:55When you hear that from people, you've got this number, you've got a movie that killed it. You've got your, this dude fills up anywhere he wants right now and he can do it multiple days. Bert does. Making a ton of money. Podcaster crushing. You know, your life is really, really good right now. There's probably a party that's like, hey, if this is, you know, do you know who you're dealing with here? Like, I'm pretty functional. So do you hear feedback, even from dudes who love you, as criticism because most people, that's how they hear it. Yeah, yeah. And what stinks is that when I was at my lowest, and my lowest was these past probably seven months, starting in January, I did a European tour, then I did an arena tour in the States, and then I promoted the special.

27:35I then went to an Australian tour in arenas, and then I did another arena tour, promoted my movie. I did my fully loaded tour, which was six weeks, I think, this year. then did the cruise and the cruise was right before that but I was at my lowest and everyone noticed and I will say that I got emails from I got texts from everyone one of them was Tom's agent I just apologized to him the other night he texted me I'm worried about you whatever this and that and I was like whatever ran into him at dinner in New York with Tom and I said to him hey man you're not my boy you're not my wife go fuck yourself if you if you want to be in my life sit down and have a drink with me but I don't even want to hear a word out of your fucking mouth you don't spend time with me you don't know my life's like I don't want to hear a fucking word I said that Steve Byrne I said that to Tom I said that to Joe I said that I said that to fucking everybody because at the time what I was like it when someone's concerned about you you don't hear it that way you don't hear you you hear them saying I'm better than you in some way or I got my shit together you need to get your shit together I don't know what you hear but I did not hear it well.

28:44And, uh, and it wasn't until I realized, oh, they're just, it was my daughters who said they were worried about me. My daughters, when they went on tour with us for fully loaded, we, we had, it was extremely stressful. I had a, uh, a stalker trying to kill me. It was like really bad. Yeah. It was really bad. And, and, and, and all, and, and by the way, I got all this is just, it's bubbling over. It really is. And, and, uh, and my, both my daughters at the end of Fully Loaded. Now, granted, Fully Loaded is with the 32 best comics in the world. Every week it's the new 10 comics. It's my best friends, the funniest people in the world.

29:22And we're cracking beers at breakfast. We're eating mushrooms. We're smoking weed. We're drinking at the show. We get on a tour bus. We party at night. It's fucking fun as fucking shit. I'm 275, but I'm not 300 pounds. And I'm benching 225 10 times. I'm strong as shit. I feel good. I feel like shit. I feel like shit probably if we're going to be very honest. And my daughters both said like at the gorge I killed like four beers at the end of the show. Last show I killed four beers and one of them was an IPA. And I snapped. I was like who the fuck gave me an IPA like to kill? That was my daughter Georgia.

30:01She goes sorry I don't drink. I don't know what a Bud Light looks like. Bless her heart. And then and and we're all sitting and we got home and Isla said. you're drinking a lot. And I was like, really? And my sister was like, you look. Like, I want to put a needle in you and just watch you deflate. You look bad. Georgia said you're red all the time. Like, your face is just red. Now, my face is normally red because I have a horrible, I was out in the sun in Florida as a kid, and that's when I kind of took, like, I assessed where I was, and I was like, I was never meant to be 275. I was never meant, drinking now is to getting me through the day.

30:42and it's and when i say that i wasn't like an early morning i need drinks kind of guy but it was just always there and we go to play golf and you'd be like ah fuck it let's have let's have a let's just do it double tito's and soda just to start and everyone's fun and um and when my daughters my wife said it i was like all right and then i was just like i'll do a cleanse drop 15 pounds start all over and then at the end i was i went to my cardiologist and i was i trained for I, like, didn't drink, took a Xanax going in, get my blood pressure down. My cardiologist was like, yo, what's going on? He's like, you're the fattest you've ever been, and your blood pressure is 120, over 80.

31:21I don't believe this. Right. And that's when I think I started this journey of, like, going, if I want to continue my lifestyle, which I do, then I need to be in control of my lifestyle. And I ran into a guy, I was in Austin, and I ran into a guy who was like, you're not as fat as the internet says. And I was like, huh? He's like, oh, there's a Reddit thread about like an over-under on when you die. And by the way, that death thing is very real. You know, it's not going to show up. There's not going to be like huge things that show up before you die. Just one day you have a heart attack. One day you are pushing it too hard.

32:02Yep. And give a fear of that. Oh, not as much not drinking. Okay, not as much not drinking. So the decision for you long term is just going to be this. Can you moderate it and can you regulate it? And that's what you're going to have to decide. Let me ask you this, though, because here's the hard part for you. By the way, this is true for anybody with anything they're doing that they think doesn't serve them. You do it because there's an upside. You don't do anything because you don't get something from it, right? So your career is sort of tied. People kind of root to see you do crazy things. Like part of it is I actually think you would be just as successful without it.

32:41I don't think you think that. But I think you're that funny. I think you're that talented. I would argue the same. I think I'm funnier. I think I'm funnier. I know I'm funnier without alcohol. If I'm on stage, if you've seen me on stage, chances are I'm 100 % sober lately. During Fully Loaded, I was pretty wasted on all those shows.

33:04But for specials, for when I tour, I'm primarily sober on stage. Rank yourself on this. One to ten as a businessman, a comedian, as a star. One to ten. I would say as a businessman, I'm like a solid seven. Okay, as a stand-up. A ten. A ten. As a dad. A dad.

33:27I think I'm a slow building six. I think I have built myself to a really good six. And I say that because I'm also very self-deprecating. So I would never, my wife, if she was here, she'd say 10. But I apologized to Georgia two nights ago. She's home from college. And I just said, I raised my voice a lot to you when you were like 15 to 17. I raised my voice a lot and I said, I'm really sorry about that. I'm really, I really regret that. And I need you to know that I, if I could take anything back, it would be that period during the pandemic when towards the end and she was growing up and I, and, uh, and so I'm getting better.

34:15But I'd say solid six. See me, I evaluate all that. Like businessman, I think I've done, you know, pretty well on that, all that stuff. You know, but I ask myself now that I'm 52, and both mine are out of the house, you got one out of the house and Isla's still there, right? Yeah. Yeah. That'd be my answer too. Be like a six. Yeah. And - Hey, listen, let me tell you something. Yeah. I don't mean to be shitting on any of my friends. Yeah. There's a lot of guys that are 55 that have kids that are like two and three. And if you ask them, they're going to tell you 10. They don't fucking know. They're wrong.

34:46They're a four. They're a four. They're a four. They don't fucking see it. Yeah. And it's like only at a certain point of hindsight do you start realizing, God damn it, I fucked up a lot. I parented the way my dad parented, and I thought I wasn't. And I had to grow, and I had to learn that if when they fucked up, I took it to a level 10, then they realized, well, fuck, level 10's where it goes every time. I might as well lie, cheat, and steal, because I know that that's what it is. And then you've got to be in therapy to go, okay, now I need to reset. Now that parenting that I was, maybe I was at a four, I just dropped to a two because I've got to build back up to the four.

35:18But both your girls know you love them and believe in them. Both my daughters are hyper-aware. I love them more than anything in the world, and I believe in them 100%. I'll tell you something to remember for what it's worth, because I bet you're higher than a six. The number one thing that my dad did that was negative with his drinking, I'm going to tell you what it was. It was not that he would misbehave when we'd go out in restaurants or that he was a jerk or that he got aggressive. The insidious thing that my dad's drinking did is I worried about him. Well. And that's the thing, bro. It's like I created internal stress and I created, and he created in me, my dad created in me, this dude who sits here today who has hundreds of millions of dollars, popular show, great friends, blah, blah, blah.

36:04And I chronically worry and have anxiety. And the reason I have, I think I have chronic worry and anxiety is I'm familiar with it. And we move towards what we're most familiar with in our life. And when I was a little boy, because, and I loved my dad. I didn't want my, I would worry he was going to leave. I was worried to get killed. I was worried he was going to die. I was worried he was going to get in a car accident. I was worried he was going to get in a fight, you know. And he wired into me to be a worrier. And it's a repetitive thing I've done. And that's the one thing that you should always govern and watch with your girls is that do they worry about their dad.

36:36They love him. They're proud of him. He's an amazing provider. You on the road a billion nights a year and all the things you've had to do and the travel show and all the stuff to get where you are, they're damn blessed. but you don't want to wire into them this repetitive thought of, I worry about my dad. I stress about my dad. That was the number one thing now that I'm an older man. I had anger issues because I watched my dad be angry. My dad raised his voice a lot in the house. I've had a little bit of that too. That was how you parented back then. Right, exactly. And we respected it. But the big thing was, man, I worry a lot.

37:10And where's this come from in me? Where's this come from? I know where it comes from. I worried about my dad. That's what it was. My daughters, I think there was a period of time where I think they definitely worried about me. I think everyone worried about me. I did internally, but I think if I could, you know, I was thinking today, I was laying down in the gym, and the sun was hitting my face, and I thought, should I have quit drinking earlier? like should I have done this if I had done this like 15 years ago where would I be today and I was like don't even you gotta get rid of that because that 15 years of partying my dick off got me here and I love where I am so I was like I'm cool I'm cool with where I am today you're the most amazing dude well first off nobody at your level of success is this honest about their real life no no man like you're helping humans right now like you make a lot of people laugh But this stuff that you do, when you do do it, dude, there's a lot of people that you're helping right now.

38:14Because it might not be booze. It might be they're addicted to, you know, they spend all their money. You know, they're gamblers. They're whatever. But there's something most of us have that we know doesn't serve us in our life. And we're trying to navigate, do I need to stop doing it? Can I have a relationship with it? Can I dance? Can I modulate it? Is there a way to keep it in my life? Because I like elements of it. Yeah. Right? And in your life, you're just fascinating to me because you step back, you listen to this dude. Dude, if you didn't know otherwise, you think, oh, this guy, this is one of the, I mean, you're humble and you're living it and you're afraid it's going to go away.

38:45So you don't realize, but like you're in the prime. You're having a level of success in your life, financially, notoriety, your reach. And even today, like who you're going to help today, that's a rich man's life. Like you have a very rich life, like more than one millionth of 1 % of all humans ever get in the world where you are. And so it's important everybody hears both sides of this at the same time. This man, the machine, everyone knows the story. If you don't, go watch the movie. We're not going to talk about that version of it today. But it's rather unbelievable that you're this honest and vulnerable about your real life and your frailties and worries and thoughts at your level.

39:21I think it's irresponsible if you don't. Then everybody's irresponsible because everyone's putting a mask on and faking it 99 % of the time. You've had them on your show. I've had them on my show. They're sitting right across from me. I'm like, I know you're not telling me the truth right now. Yeah, well, I think I've tried to be honest in every respect. Even when I fly in private jets, I have friends that all fly private, and they're like, don't post it. I was like, hey, man, just so you know, it's the coolest thing you're ever going to do. I'll tell you how much I spent on it. I'll tell you what it cost me.

39:59I'll let you know what I could have bought with that money. But I'm going to fucking post it. That's what a regular person does. if you can stay as regular as possible and just don't lie and just don't go like I'm this I want you to think I'm something other than I'm not I think I've done that aggressively with my partying I've done it with my relationships I've done it with my relationships with comics which I regret at times I've spoken about casually about things I never should have opened my mouth about I don't do it about politics it's the only fucking thing I've done You did that pretty well.

40:34Well, I just don't know anything. And so I'm not that smart. Last night, I woke up before in the morning, I listened to a podcast on the Rothschilds, and I was like, note to self, never bring up the Rothschilds. I'm way out over my skis. Listen, you don't know anything. Is there a part of you, because you're so humble, do you have, I have, massive imposter syndrome? Oh, if you don't have an imposter syndrome, you're an imposter. Imposter syndrome's real. It's authentic. When we first bought our big house, like the one we're in now, I was so terrified to post any video on social media because I didn't want anyone to think I had money.

41:09I didn't want to lose who I was and show my backyard. I have a beautiful fucking backyard. I will say this. I worked very hard to earn that backyard. I got very lucky to marry a wife who can recognize good properties. But I was terrified to show that. and I hardcore consistently live with this imposter syndrome. I'm afraid things are going to go away. That's what I worry about. Yeah, of course, because they do. Because they do. Because they do. You do. They do for everyone. They do for everyone. They do for everyone. It goes away. It goes away. Look, you get a little heat and the world loves you.

41:48I'm watching it happen to Matt Reif right now where they're attacking him. He had it. and I'm not saying Matt Reif's fame is going away or his success is going away, I don't think it is for Matt, I think he's going to have a long beautiful career but the world loves they love to celebrate you and then and listen, I'm sure I'm guilty of it too, you know someone pops and then in a weird way you sit back in the cut and go what are they going to find, you know it's very true and but it goes away, it does especially with stand-up you get a few hot years and and you're the guy and people want to see you in arenas and then at one point they're like hey who else is out there it's a natural it happens with bands how like i just rediscovered the dead again and i was like oh well they went away from me it's mind-blowing when you see them and i always remind myself that'll be you at some point so like have some perspective on what's going on remember what really matters but also enjoy it well it's here but i live with that i live with like and the other thing i i struggle with let me ask you if you do this too do you worry about you're going to lose momentum like you're saying no to things yeah yeah i don't say no to anything i don't say no i like like i also like the challenge i've done i've done projects that you that you would roll your eyes at i did a i did his show finding the world's best dancing dog it was as interesting as it just sounded but I I feel like I feel like uh I watch people say no and I watch things go away for them I watch dudes who had hot sexy careers I was just texting uh in my friend group uh with a guy who had the hottest career and then he's just like uh I'm the coolest guy here and then it kind of went away for him and he's struggling to get it back and then you're just going like maybe if you hadn't been so precious and you had said I'd love to do that college or that casino or that maybe I take everything as an opportunity it's a gift first of all a lot of comics I can only talk about comedy but a lot of comics forget we did it for free yeah we did it for free if someone wants to give you a hundred thousand dollars to do stand-up I don't know that there's I mean look there's comics disagreeing with me listening to this but like it's a pretty great deal yeah I had Dane Cook on the show and sometimes I even when Dane was on we talked about that thing that if you'd have told me at one point that Dane would you know Dane acknowledges this like Dane was so hot and then at some point he was not hot right and now watching him you know go get that back again but like his reverence for that time when it was good too it's like I don't want to say no to things that I think could keep things rolling in my life one thing I want to ask you a couple things about you like because I want to understand you I understand like the complexity of you and the drinking and the the party and the success and all the worrying and all that because I relate to 90 of that but why are you so successful like what's the thing with you is it like because it went most of you don't know this story and we're not going to get into it today but like it took him a long time and he wasn't even really doing stand-up even that long ago consistently as a career in the real world it wasn't that long ago what is it like what's don't don't be humble like what's the thing with you is it that you like connect with everyday people like is it like I know you're funny right but like is it like hey man I'm rooting for that dude because I see me in him what is the thing about you is it the work ethic is it what is it that's made you in that seat right now ahead of almost everybody in the in your entire industry?

45:24I think I'm sure there's a lot of aspects of this, but I'll tell you the one thing I know that I don't have, that I have that not a lot of my peer groups have is I don't mind failing. Like I'll give you a subtle example. A subtle example is Instagram. I took to Instagram pretty early and I started editing videos and putting up videos and and and I took to Instagram stories very early and I I didn't mind posting and because I thought if no one sees it then it's not really a failure because no one saw it yep but if people see it then it's a success they're just going to see the the successes uh the best example of this I can give is um hot summer nights tour so the pandemic hits uh my special drops on the two days after stay-at-home orders which is the greatest gift yeah anyone can ever be given everyone's sitting there everyone in the countries has to go home and not leave their house and i'm on netflix with tiger king yeah i was gonna say it's you and tiger it was me and tiger king tom was the next week i mean it was like really insane luck but i uh in this not it's gonna go away i gotta keep my momentum i said i want to to go on tour.

46:41We got to find a way to do this. And I reached out to my agents, my managers, and I said, uh, find me drive in movie theaters, see if we can do it at drive in movie theaters. I'm very adaptable. I love trying to problem solve. I love giving parameters of, of, of artistic things and then being able to work around it or come up with a cheat code to get myself the thing I need. I love that energy. It's, it helps inspire my creativity. And I said, get me drive movie theaters. And they said, that's not a thing. And I said, I know it's a thing they're there see if you can get them and they they did all the work they found a uh edm company who was doing live outdoor shows we connected with them hotbox and we did one and and i had uh the biggest names in comedy i won't say names but the give us one tom okay uh tom's exact words do not do this do not this is not a good idea you're going to be a guinea pig and no one wants to be a guinea pig.

47:38His exact words, no one wants to be a guinea pig. And I thought, you don't succeed. Maybe Tom does, but I don't succeed by not failing a couple times. And I was like, you know what? In my head, I said I'll do one weekend of it, four shows. If I like it, I'll do more. If I don't, no one saw it. Maybe, maybe. Great point. Yeah, I was like, and I thought also, So if they don't go well, I also have control of my narrative. I will post what I want on social media, and it'll look fun. It was something I tried. I didn't do more of them. I'm in and out. I did, on the very first night, we were in North Carolina in a rock quarry in a drive-in movie theater that could only be described as 1950s picturesque.

48:24I mean, the way FDR planted America getting together. I don't even know if FDR's right. And it was amazing. I shot drone shots. It was sold out. People were down the street, like for three miles in their cars. And I said, line them up. I ended up doing 60 cities. I ended up doing like 90 something shows. Wow. I mean, we did, I did the whole, and I won a number of awards. I got the comedies, innovative creative impact. I won Damn the Torpedoes. And by the way, Winston Churchill's like a hero of mine. And so the damn the torpedoes fucking energy of damn the torpedoes full steam ahead. Fuck it. They're coming anyway.

49:08Let's just start moving forward. I love that energy. And I think that changed my career because, number one, I put on great shows. I had a great time. I had fun. I had a fucking blast. But it gave me the confidence to realize I have to just go with my decisions, not listen to anyone, and do what I want to do. And then I started fully loaded. I did a cruise. No comics were doing cruises. I did a cruise. This is our third year of Fully Loaded coming up. And I'm the only, if I'm not mistaken, I'm the only comedian-run festival ever. Owned and run. I own it myself. I run it myself. And I watched other people do that in their careers, like Rogan doing his podcast, getting a fucking fleshlight.

49:54Everyone told him no, but Rogan believed in it. And I thought, well, I just got to believe in the things I believe in. and I think that's been my one strong suit is just going just fuck it I'll do it uh whether it's the dance video this is a this is I mean I said to Joe Tom and Ari this sober October let's do hip-hop dance Joe was like absolutely not Tom was like Ari was like I think it's cool but none of them could agree and so I said fuck it I think it's a good idea because I know that I watch them online so i'm gonna do a hip-hop dance video i got d glazer for 1200 bucks she taught me a dance i said i'll run my tour dates to the side of it put it up sold out a tour in 15 minutes the video went viral tom then goes back and invests 40 000 in a dance video of his own sells out his tour and then all of a sudden promo videos become something everyone's doing and i'm not saying i created it i definitely didn't create it but like that energy of like i'm not gonna listen anybody.

50:52And the other thing is, you know, I believe in just start and it'll happen, is just start. The other day I did a Thanksgiving Day video that went out. It had the most shares I've ever had on any video. We released it. It was my, I'm your shirt, but drinking on the longest partying day of the season. I went in and I said, don't overthink it. Just turn on a camera, we'll figure it out and we shot it in like 30 minutes and just shot it just shoot it just do it just post it if no one saw it no one will be talking about it but they saw it they're talking about it everyone's hitting me up it's fantastic just do it just shoot it i i got a marching band come to my house one time for 1200 bucks to announce a tour and uh leanne's like what are we going to do with them i go we'll figure it out it's a marching band i mean it can't go wrong I said to them what song can you guys play all you guys and they're like rubber band man I go cool line up around my pool You know what what you just said is what's helped me become whatever level of success I've had is like I don't have to know everything before I begin I'll start and I have this but now for me it's a faith thing But I'm like God will find the answer for me somewhere in the room I'm just gonna get in the room once I get in that room I'll find the door into the next one I'll find the door into the next one I'll find and if I don't that's okay The thing you said that's also brilliant We think everyone's gonna remember all our failures if you're not successful no one's going to remember it no one talks about that's the whole entire point i i do the other thing that's helped me and it's going to sound weird we don't have that much more time but like i love your brain you should do more stuff like this because people are pulling things out of you i feel like what happens when you're a comic is like you see this with big names is they they start leaning to the serious more yeah than than funny and i i i have to remind myself that i'm just funny like i'm just funny like i listen to all you guys for inspiration and I apply it the way I apply it and it's maybe it's broken, but like, thank you very much for the compliment.

52:49But, uh, but yeah, I don't, I, I just, I mean, like, I think every once in a while, every year or two, you, like you said about journeys, like what am, why am I successful? What is the stuff that I'm good at? What is the stuff that I'm not so good at? Like, I don't want to see you doing a serious podcast because you are funny and we're not right. So like, that's your gift. But at the same time, because you are funny, you reach a lot of people, man, who could use the help that will look at someone like me like my audience is my audience but there's a bunch of people's like I don't want to listen to this dude who's you know thinks he's got all of his act together I want to listen to the dude who I know doesn't and the things that he's doing to hold it all together and become successful there's something super powerful about that let me ask you one last question on it and I mean that like take care of yourself you're you're way more of an important dude in people's lives than you realize because you have a you have a lot of confidence and I know that there's probably this side of you that people are like hey man don't get too big but there's this other part of you bro you have such deep humility I love people that have both of those things they're super confident but they got a lot of humility if someone was listening to this they're like hey man you chased your dream like you had no idea you're just a dude in college and by the way I want to reinforce this if you have not seen The Machine on Netflix you have to go see this movie it's a ride and it's one of those movies like you don't really want it to end every minute of it is entertaining every single minute of this movie is entertaining it's funny but it's like it's a real story I'm sure it's you know jived up a little bit it's so good and all of his Netflix specials Razzle Dazzle is out right now but like all of them are awesome go check his stuff out but let me ask you this last if someone was listening and they're like hey man I would like to pursue my dream too but I have a lot of anxiety I got a lot of worry I got a lot of imposter syndrome I got all this stuff you've described that you still have and you made it anyway what advice would you give to somebody who's like sitting there going whatever it is they want to open up a bakery whatever it is right they want to start painting what would you say to them first of all the procrastination is the best part like just don't don't worry about the time you've spent procrastinating that's all the build-up stuff those are the muscles you're getting to get you to where you need to be because I procrastinated just like you did I'd had great ideas and didn't know where to pitch them and didn't know what to do with them and then and then one day you're one day you're gonna stop giving a fuck what everyone else says but you gotta let that happen for you you gotta let yourself say I'm not gonna tell my friends this idea they're just gonna shit on it and you just you just gotta say fuck it you really gotta say fuck it and go I'm gonna try it I don't want I don't care if they make fun of me that's part of the process also let them make fun of me half the making fun of He's going to put me in the right direction anyway.

55:34But you've got to say fuck it. You've got to go after it. I think sometimes had I never got on stage or had I never answered that phone when Rolling Stone magazine called, had I never taken the balls. It's the same thing about getting in the goddamn polar plunge. That energy is real. You do not want to do it. You're standing on the edge of the pool. All those moments on the edge of the pool are just as valuable as the moments in the pool. Respect the edge of the pool as much as you do inside the pool. and let yourself sit with it. Be scared. Do not want to do it. Lay in your bed. Roll around. I don't want to fucking go in.

56:10This is it. I'm fucking putting all my eggs in this basket. And then once you jump in, go all the way deep. Get your head under. Don't just put your toe in it. Go all the way deep and fucking charge it. You get one shot at this life. And if you leave anything on the table, it's just left on the table. You don't get to take it with you. what the hell just happened today? I don't know. You become like a philosopher of all good things. And also, like, you guys, I'm just going to say this to you all. First off, thank you. This is why I do the show right here. First off, a lot of you know Bert Kreischer.

56:48You didn't know all of this stuff today. That's number one. Hopefully we get things out of people that other people don't get. People are going to be like, start drinking again. Jesus Christ, man. No, I mean it, man. Like, there's a depth to you. there's people aren't successful at the level bert's successful at by mistake and a lot of times what i love watching people come on the show and do they start realizing there's things about them that are pretty damn amazing that they didn't realize before they started having to talk out loud about it and a lot of the advice you gave today is phrased differently than i would phrase it but it's exactly what i would say if i had the wisdom that you have especially the last part right there and i just want to know i want you to know man like you got a friend in me buddy I'm glad.

57:30Listen, I will take you up on that friendship. I mean that. I got a friend here, and anything I can ever do to help you. The world needs more of you, man. I think you're the most talented of the most talented. Well, I am such a fan of yours. So to hear you say that is like, it's surreal to be sitting across from me. Yeah, bro, you crushed this today. Everybody listen to me. Go follow Everything Burt if you don't already. Share the show today. This is one of those where you're like, hey, this is not the normal Ed Milet show episode, and you need to hear this. And it's an all-timer for me. It's an all-timer.

57:59I'm so grateful that you came, bro. Thank you so much. Thank you. All right. God bless you, everybody. Max out.

58:07This is The Admirate Show.