Design a Life You Love: Align Your Feelings, Experiences, and Relationships

29:38And I think the reason most people that struggle struggle is they have a higher threshold of how good or prepared they think they have to be to take an action in order to not take it. In other words, most people I know that are pretty successful or happy have a lower threshold of how good they think they have to be at something before they'll begin it. They'll step into a space and say, I'll figure it out when I get there. And when I get there, I'll figure out the next space. That doesn't mean they don't practice preparation. It doesn't mean I'm more confident in today's interview because I prepared my ass off for this, right?

30:08But I also know something could happen that I'm not prepared for and it doesn't cause me to not pursue this craft. That's totally right. I think the more you've done, the more experience you have, the more confidence you have in yourself. And so you can remember how things were when you started, which is not anywhere close to where they were when you finish. There's a Hemingway quote. I have it on a poster on my wall. He says, the first draft of everything is shit or anything is shit. I forget. But I did a version of it where I marked it up. Like even that sentence, that didn't come out perfectly for him.

30:43He shaped that. And so writing as a metaphor, you get comfortable with first drafts. You go, if I don't do it because I want it to be perfect, it will never be good. And then I can't polish it to perfection. And then perfection itself does not exist. It's the horizon. It's always a little bit further away. And so if you get, like for me, it's like I'm just trying to make something that exists, then I can edit it and shape it and change it and improve it. But if I'm so first off high on my own supply, so convinced I'm a genius, whatever, I'm never going to actually do it. And then it will be perfect in my head, but it won't ever be shippable.

31:24Oh, man, that's really true. Speaking of firsts, I love this. you say, do hard things first. Why? Well, writing is the hard thing in my profession. So it's like, I don't allow myself to make up a bunch of other stuff that I do first to get then distracted. Like I hate, I think breakfast meetings should be illegal, right? Breakfast coffees, morning staff meeting. No, go do the work. Then once we've made some headway, then we have the luxury of going, Hey, what's the next thing we need to be thinking about? Like if you're, Again, if you're putting it off, you're going to come up with reasons that you never have to get to it.

32:03Brother, I'm a disciplined person, I'd like to think. And here's how right he is. You actually write about someone that I work with in your book. I won't say who it is, but she used to run a country. And I work out first in the morning. It's one of the first things I do. And the reason it's one of the first things I do is because it's hard for me. And after 30-some-odd years of being in gyms, it's not my favorite place to go anymore. It just isn't. So I have to do it early in the day. Well, some of my coaching has started to happen overseas, which means they're up. I have to get up really early to do these coaching calls with some of these people.

32:37One of them is a woman in your book. And on the days where I coach her, I don't work out early in the day. Right. And I have it kind of scheduled like around 11 o 'clock. I'm just being real with you. All of a sudden around 1130, I'm on Instagram again. 12, 15, I'm doing emails. One o 'clock, you know what? I'll do it at five o 'clock after dinner. Now, this is me. And I've trained for 35 years. There have been several days I just didn't work out those days. And it's pathetic, but it's because you should do hard things first in your day. You've proven it, and I'm evidence of it. You're like, I got a change, I got this other thing.

33:09Then I got to take a shower after. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'll just do it. Get it out of the way. Yes. And that's how I think about, like, writing is the win every day for me, because that's what I do. If my thing was training people, I would do the training. Whatever the win is, you got to do that, cross it off. and then if you get to the other stuff, that's extra. Yeah. Right? It can't be you do the extra and then maybe you get to the main thing. I spoke to the Rams a couple years ago and they said, the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Like, what is that for you? And then is your day built around it?

33:41Yes or no? Because if it's not, what does that say? It's very true. It's like I just got a coaching call yesterday with some entrepreneurs. I'm like, are you actually moving the needle with what you're doing? Yeah. And you can look at your life and your day that way. Early in your day, are you moving the needle on your day? are you kicking the needle down the road, so to speak, right? And it's just, and also you get momentum. Well, what's the thing, the way I think about it too, is like, what are the things that only I can do, right? Everything else you outsource, but it's like, if I, what is the main driver here for me?

34:09It's like, am I writing, coming up with the ideas? The other stuff is important, but it's downstream from that. Really good point. And you got to know what that is. Like the most powerful law in economics is the law of comparative advantage, right? If I pick apples better than you and you pick oranges better than me we can't both be picking each other's stuff we gotta find our lane stick to it and then that makes the whole economy grows as a result of that so good so good so good the uh we should have done the three hours that i told you i want to keep going i told him we're not going three hours i eat in a row but i kind of want to go we won't go that far but so the part of the work that affects me the most and maybe it's the crux of the work and maybe it's only the crux of the work for me right I bet different parts of what you're writing about but you talk a lot about having the I'll use my terminology and you can correct me the discipline to to deny or pass on temptation in life right so it's this this idea that there's temptation sure and someone who is I guess uh practicing more stoicism than someone who is not, has developed the ability to not give in to those temptations, whatever they might be in life.

35:20The thing I have seen hurt most humans in my life has been their inability to deal with temptation. A, they become successful, and now they get the temptation if they're a guy of women, or the temptation of, I've saved a bunch of money, the temptation to spend it. Drugs. Drugs, whatever it might be. Also, the temptation to watch Netflix, the temptation to be gluttonous, the temptation, And this is for anybody in life. But there's these temptations that we sort of have this intuitive knowing pull us from who we best are that we give into every single day in different ways in most parts of our life.

35:53And the most happy and evolved people I know do it less. They don't do it never. Sure. But they do it less. Yeah. Seneca, he says, show me a man who isn't a slave. Right. One to his mistress, one to power, one to recognition. He says, even the slave master is a slave to the slaves, right? The idea that like your big, enormous estate, like do you own the company or does the company own you? Right? And so I think deciding, like we were talking about with the phone, like who's in control, me or it? And the ability to go like, I don't do that. I'm not going to, that's not for me. I don't care if everyone does it.

36:31I don't care if you think I'm weird for doing it. it doesn't work for me. It's not part of my life. And the ability to have those lines. Like I always respect people and we make fun of people who have like weird dietary things. And it was like, no, they decided they don't eat this. And that's a rule they follow. I respect that when I see it. And what I tend to find is that that's a transferable skill. So the ability to say, I don't do X also allows you to say, I don't do Y. And so sometimes cultivating that is really important. The ability to say, like, there's a famous story about Richard Feynman that I tell in the book that is the physicist.

37:06He's sort of walking to work one day and he just feels this pull like in the middle of a morning to go have a drink. And he's not an alcoholic and he has no moral argument against drinking, but he doesn't like that feeling, that feeling of like, go do this. Cause that wasn't him. That was some part in him and that he never drinks a day again in his life. And I think you want to cultivate that. Like, what are the things that you're sort of compulsively doing? The things that just sort of you're powerless to do once the idea comes in your head, that's what you want to develop the muscle, the ability to be like, nah, not anymore.

37:41Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's really good. So the thing that pops in your mind, that's that compulsive temptation is probably the thing. That's the signal. Yes. And then developing the ability to be like, I can stop doing compulsive things is really important, right? That's strength, right? Lots of strong people can lift heavy things, but then they are powerless. That's what Seneca's saying. They're powerless over this thing. Think about some of their super powerful world leader, but they're obsessed with checking their mentions or something, right? Or they're obsessed with dominating people where they can't stop this impulse.

38:19And then that ultimately or inevitably tends to lead to their destruction in some way. So is it a little bit about, and I don't know that it is. So I want to ask you, is it a little bit about chipping away at one's excessive? I think so. Yeah. Not getting perfect, but chipping away. It's not just doing the right things, but chipping away at the things that make us less than we're capable of being. I think that's right. I mean, temperance, the word is about what's the right amount. So, so some things, the right amount is zero, right? But a lot of things it's, it's a, it's a appropriate, healthy amount.

38:51And beyond that point, it starts to get a pro like, again, like it's almost easier to be like, I don't drink than to be like, this is when I stopped drinking. Right. Like I've had enough. And this is also true for success. Like think about how many boxers can't leave when it's enough. You're right. Right. And then they go too far and that's, that's their downfall. And so again, cultivating the ability to be like, I decide when this stops. You're right. And when you're listening to this, you may go, well, mine's not drinking or drugs or porn or sex or spending money. Is it worry? Is it worry? Is it anxiety?

39:25Is it fear? Is it anger? Control. Control. Good one. Control. Well, you just hit one of mine. Yeah. Like the micromanaging thing. Like you're like, why don't people like working for me? It's like you, you, you, you're not fun to work for. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's about, I think overall it's the knowledge of getting quiet and more self-aware and understanding oneself. Is that the basis of the work? Would meditations. He's talking to himself and working it out on the page. Like your thoughts can deceive you, but when you put them down and you, you have to have that discussion, you go, oh yeah, right.

40:02Yeah. I mean, putting yourself up for review, the stoics. Putting yourself up for review. That's a difficult thing to do. What's uncomfortable? Yeah. It's uncomfortable. And I, I'm doing it lately. It's interesting for my audience to be in real time. You know, I think they're surprised often more because, you know, look, the other part of me is like, okay, here's how you do all these things. But I'm also a work in progress. In other words, even for the audience or even my friend, I don't want to be the same guy next year. I am this year that I have not that same. I want to, my values diminished to the world.

40:30If I'm the same person, I ought to have new distinctions and new wisdom and new breakthrough. And so should you that are listening to this. Okay. Beware this madness. What is that? That's the part of the book. I'm like, what is that? I'm talking about when you lose, we're talking, we're talking about losing control. When you lose control over your emotions, that sort of temporary burst of insanity, anger, frustration, resentment, fear, lust. When you're losing control of yourself, you're defenseless in the face of that thing. I tell the story of Sam Cassell, the basketball player. He hits this great shot.

41:07As he's running back to celebrate, he can't stop himself from taunting the opponents. And he does this, they call it the big balls dance. He acts like he's cradling his huge balls, but he fractures his hip in doing this, right? It is out basically the rest of the series. They don't go all the way to, they don't win the finals. The idea of like any time you're doing, it's not that the Stoics were against emotion. I think they were out, they were against doing things when consumed by emotion, right? Or letting emotions overwhelm you, right? So it's like you get some rude email. That's not to say you should let someone talk to you that way.

41:51It's not to say you shouldn't respond. But responding with anger is not going to improve things. So the ability to be like, I'm going to step back. I'm going to do this calmly. Almost everything is done better calmly. A hundred percent. By the way, I call it equanimity in my book. Calmness under duress, right? Staying in that moment and staying in that. Silence is strength is something you say. I really want to spend a little bit of time on this. I think that silence is free. And it's yet almost never taken advantage of by our culture anymore. And even for me, I just interviewed Colin O 'Brady.

42:28Yeah. He's got a new book called The 12-Hour Walk. And the concept of it is at least put your phone down for 12 hours and take a walk and take your light. I think more and more with all the noise in our lives in this day and age, people are becoming less and less familiar with silence. A lot of people have to have someone else around them or their phone on or the TV on or the radio on or something. And silence is this free space that is so beautiful and liberating that now as humans, we don't even take advantage of anymore. I was a director of marketing at American Apparel for a long time and I sort of watched the company go all the way down.

43:04And the CEO would call me sometimes like two, three in the morning. I would be asleep. He'd wake me up and he would just talk to me until he fell asleep. and at first I was very young and I thought you know am I this important what is it when what is this is it that he really cares about and then I realized this man can't be alone in those two minutes that he's falling asleep and what epiphanies what changes what reflections what awareness might have come if you could have that space like it's it's possible now to fill every second with noise. That's what your phone is. And you have to cultivate that silence because it's in the reflection that you have ideas, you have breakthroughs.

43:48I was at a pool one time just getting in to go swimming and someone recognized me and said, oh, I loved your books. And I said, I wrote those books in this pool. I swim in this pool because I can't hear anything. My ears are underwater. I'm alone with my thoughts and the ideas come to me then. and you have to cultivate that silence. You're right, it's free, but it's also like the most valuable thing in the world. It is. That's why so many people tell me my favorite moment of the day is when I'm in bed and I hit the bed and I'm like, well, if that's your favorite moment of the day, it's telling you that you're yearning for a little silence and a little quiet.

44:22I find myself, even like when I travel, when I shut the hotel room door and I'm in there alone, I'm like, oh, this is so good. Dudes who have kids, they got noisy lives. They spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom doing what they need to do in there and they just sit in this little room Sure do it because it's just a quiet time that ought to tell us all We have this yearning for silence in our lives that the noise is not allowing us to appreciate how much we need or we want it in our lives Yeah, look that's why I like getting up early in the morning It's quieter than you know what I mean get up before the emails have really started And then you don't have to have as much strength or willpower to ignore them What's a practice like, what's your life look like?

45:03Look at all these philosophies. By the way, to me, it's just like really great stuff. It's stoicism, but it's just really great stuff on how to live a better life. But what's like a practice that you do daily? Is it your meditation time that allows you to sort of participate more in this quality of work? Or what is it that you do? My big morning practice, my meditation practice is journaling, sitting down and writing things down, creating some space between me and the thoughts. and like we said, putting yourself up for review. I don't want to wake up 20 years from now and go like, man, how did I get here?

45:42I want to be doing that reflection on a regular daily basis and catch the things before. Like one of the things I'll notice in my journal is like if I'm saying the same thing over and over again, well, I need to make some changes, right? If I'm like so tired today, so tired today. If I'm writing that three days in a row, like something's wrong with the decisions I'm making in my life really good and I can make those I let's make those changes now before I end up somewhere unrecognizable I think most people bro I love your work like I really do it's for me yeah it's for me um I know I've said that three times but I just want to express to you my gratitude for it the um I have a really good friend of mine who's made lots and lots of money and he's actually helped a lot of people too he contributes.

46:29He gives a lot of money away. He spends a lot of time and he's unhappy. And by the way, on the surface, you'd go, wow, married to the same person, makes lots of money, gives lots of money away. This guy's living the life kind. He doesn't give into a lot of temptation, frankly. He's a good dude and he's unhappy. And he said, I just can't figure out why I'm unhappy. And I said, I think I know. And I said, by and large, brother, you've lived a completely unexamined life. In other words, there's never been time for self-examination. and so many of us even listening to this might be a breakthrough moment for so many of you you may be doing good things you may be growing you may have all these things but you're supposed to be examining your life to some extent I love what you're saying put yourself up for review I use the terminology of an unexamined life and you know we should check in with ourselves regularly because we may be so far down a path and winning down a path that is no longer the path that we want to be on or need to be on but we haven't even examined it for years and years and years, if ever.

47:27So that's sort of what you mean to the extent of putting yourself up for review is self-examination, right? Yeah. If you don't know who you are, what you want, what kind of life you want, you just end up defaulting to what everyone else is doing. Or what you used to want. What you've always done. Yeah. Right? And so it takes an active practice of questioning and reviewing and talking, not just with your yourself, but also with other people, maybe you have a therapist, a spouse. You want to be doing this now when you can steer the boat, not when you've ended up somewhere and you're stuck. If you've been doing the same thing unquestioned for 20 years, changing course is now going to be really expensive, really difficult.

48:14But if you've been making these micro adjustments as you go, those things cumulatively shape the direction or the trajectory you're going. And if you don't do that, you just end up living a pattern. Yeah. It's just a pattern. It's a pattern of thoughts, a patterns of emotions, a pattern of behaviors, a pattern of people. And it just becomes, and if we're not careful in our lives, I write about this in my work, our minds move towards what it's most familiar with. Yeah. So if you don't ever have unfamiliar thoughts, unfamiliar examinations, this journaling or this thinking, you just have a life that's a pattern.

48:46Well, it's like, what's your North Star, right? Like what is the thing, not just your main thing, but like what's the value, the purpose, like what is the main thing you're trying to do that matters, right? And then how are you tacking or tracking against that, right? Is this promotion you were just offered or this attractive stranger that sent you a drink in a bar, how does that get you closer or further away from that thing? Yes. Yes. I sometimes when I look at like major decisions in my life, like, hey, do you want to move here and do this. Like, hey, do you want to take on this project? I go, when I look back and ask myself why I got divorced, is this that reason?

49:26Right? But my North Star is I want to be a good spouse and a father. That's really important. My work is also very important to me and these things are in a tension or a balance with each other. But I don't want the fact that a cool opportunity is there over and over and over. You just default to saying yes to that. You're simultaneously saying no, no, no to these other people and these other things. And then you, you, you're telling yourself you're doing it for them, but you're not, you're just doing it because it's easier to say yes than it is to say no. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Very good.

50:03So yeah, I relate to that. You send up just sort of chasing the next shiny thing and not having an examination of what this means to the other things that matter to you, because you don't have a true North star. I have a true North star in my life, But one of the things you say in the book about this other people thing is, listen to this, guys, tolerant with others, strict with yourself. That's you. If you can get to that nuance, you're one heck of an evolved human being. That's the highest level. Right. It's easy to just everyone should follow my rules. Right. But it's called self-discipline for a reason.

50:38Right. You only control this like you only control the standards you set for yourself. And nothing will make you more unhappy than making up rules and then being upset that people who've never even heard these rules are not following them, right? They didn't sign up for this, right? You got to be comfortable being like, this is important to me because it's important to me. And if you want to live your life your own way, I got to be okay with that. Cato the Younger, he's this famous stoic. He's the strictest guy of himself. He's fearless. He's incorruptible. You know, even though he's rich, he dresses in plain clothes, all this stuff.

51:20But his brother was the opposite. And he loved his brother. It's like Bruce Springsteen says, sometimes it's your brother. You got to look the other way. You know, like you got to go, you're you. You're living your life. If it works for you, it works for you. I can tell you why I don't think it's working for you if you want my advice. But I'm not going to criticize you, resent you. and most of all, I'm not going to try to punish you for doing your things your way. These are all principles just like when you hear them, you're like, yep, I'd live a better life if I did that. Yep, that would be better for me.

51:51Yep, that would be better for me. And it's a matter of I think reading for me, and if you don't read, you listen to audiobooks or whatever, is a form of self-examination. When I'm reading, I might read, I'm listening to what's being written, but I'm really reflecting on me as I'm reading the words. I think that's the most powerful way to read. On the soul part of the book, we can't cover it all because I want to get the book. By the way, again, we've covered like 2.3 % now. But you say the power of giving power away. Probably you've hit on the area that would be most difficult for me in terms of my evolution would be the power of giving power away.

52:28What does that mean and what's like an application of it? George Washington's greatest moment is when he resigns his commission in the Continental Army. and says, I don't want to be king. They said he could have become king of America. And the king of England, when he hears this, he says, what's Mr. Washington going to do after he defeats the greatest empire in the world? And this painter says, I believe he's going to return to his farm. And he says, if he does that, he is the greatest man in the world. To know when to step down, to know when to share, to know when someone is better than you at something.

53:06This is extremely hard and requires so much self-discipline. As majestic as that is for Washington, he repeats it again when he voluntarily leaves after two terms. But Marcus Rebilius is chosen to be emperor. His father is an emperor. He's chosen. But there's this pesky thing that he has a stepbrother. Yes. Right? And what does he do? I mean, historically, Machiavelli would be like, you got to get rid of this guy. You got to kill him. And the first thing Marcus does with absolute power is he anoints his brother co-emperor. And his brother also opposite of him in so many ways. But he writes in meditations, he says, what I loved about his brother was how his character challenged me to improve my own.

53:47So he didn't try to make his brother a replica of himself, a mirror of himself. He used his brother where his brother could help him and where his brother had skills and he didn't. And he was willing to share and let him be him and Marcus be Marcus. and he wasn't so insecure that he needed everything for himself. And I think so often we see great athletes, great entrepreneurs, great leaders, great politicians not know when their moment is over. And when, it's not to say they can't continue to contribute, but they're no longer the top spot. And if you can't, if you're so egotistical you can't plan for a legacy, you're going to end up creating a legacy.

54:27It just won't be a positive one. Yeah, and by the way, you're so right. It affects us in every day we run in our businesses, too, thinking that we're the best at everything in our company, where we would give some of the control away to someone who's actually better at these things and have the discernment to give some of that power away and let them go. Your company would grow. Your life would grow. Maybe even in your family. Maybe your wife is just way better at some of these things than you, and you just ought to let her have them. Or reverse. Your husband is. And I think oftentimes in life that that notion of giving the power is not easy for me.

54:55I'm a control person. And it's something that that's part of my evolution as a man. Yeah. has to be connected to that. And once you give them the power, letting them do it their way, right? So it's like, hey, you're in charge of this. Here's how I would do it, but I just want you to do it. However it works, that's on you. Again, this is tolerant with others, strict with yourself. I'm going to allow you to be you. I'm not so rigid or insecure that I think everyone needs to be exactly like me. The way I do it works for me. They all have different processes, different backgrounds, different needs, skills, strengths, and we've got to respect that.

55:32You use the word insecure, but I can tell you, and it's correlated for me, I know when I'm afraid to give away control and power. It's when I'm afraid, which is pretty close to insecure. It's when I'm afraid. I'm afraid if I let you do this, my son's going to go. If you handle the discipline, my wife, my son's going to turn out to be like my dad and be a drug addict, or if I let you run this part of my company, I'm going to go broke. I mean, these are ridiculous correlations we make we have to ask yourself when you're not giving control away in your life to people around you Is that from coming from a place of fear or insecurity because I think most of the time That's what you're operating out of when you're trying to hold on to control all the time I think that's totally right speaking about that We don't have too much more time and I'm frustrated as heck about it But I want to go to the book a little bit more by the way everybody should get the book like listen When you read the book a couple things is you're gonna manage your own life better lead your own life better There will also be this part of you that you go man if you live in a particular country I live in the US man.

56:24I wish our leaders had more of these characteristics man I wish they had that one thing you can even think of somebody think if they just had that one difference How much greater they would have been their demise was that thing you you'll see these little pieces in the book and that could be your demise Also when you're reading the book Ironically you talk about Queen Elizabeth in the book. Yeah, I just fascinated by the I've never spent any time thinking about this woman until obviously lately, right? Yeah I've never spent any time thinking about her. And I was sort of fascinated when passing, I'm like, people really made a big deal about this.

56:55Maybe I was naive, but you really write about her in the book. What is it that you loved about her so much or admired in her or characteristics you saw in her? I mean, first off, just to think she has the same job for 70 years. And she shows up every day. There is no on or off the clock. She is the queen. And unlike, say, Marcus, or a president who has a lot of power, she has absolutely no power. her job is her poise and her dignity what she represents and she has the same job for 70 years she never gives an on-the-record interview to a reporter think about everything she's seen everything she knows think about how wrong the press has been about her think about all the things she wants to say and talk about silence she says nothing because her job is to be impartial and everything is being done in her name, literally, but she cannot say anything, but she, she manages to, she, every week she meets with the prime minister.

57:50I think she's on, she was on her like 14th prime minister. So she, she is, I mean, she's personally trained by Winston Churchill. She knows so much. She is the most qualified and she can't be like, that's a bad idea. Don't do that. But she can, well, what about this? Have you thought about this? I once heard this, right? So she has to develop how to be assertive without being aggressive. She has to keep, she has to be above the fray. She can't be distracted by the noise. And then also, I think what's particularly impressive about her, the monarchy 70 years ago, totally different than it is today.

58:26And yet exactly the same, right? And so that's what tradition is. People think tradition is like keeping everything exactly the same. No, it's finding the North Star, the real things, and then everything else is negotiable. And they have this famous motto inside the royal household, which is, if things are going to stay the same, things are going to have to change. And so she's malleable and adjustable about the things that don't matter. And then very firm and rigid about the things that do matter. And that's, if you want to last, if you want to endure, you look at someone who's been in the music business or someone who's been in professional sports or someone who's been business after business, everything's changed and yet the core things jeff bezos says you focus on the things that don't change you got to know what those are lock into them everything else you're what's new what's best that that tension to me requires so much self-discipline now you want to talk about physical discipline i mean just imagine like she's millions of miles yeah shaking millions of hands she in 70 years fell asleep in public one time and she was like 85 and it was a lecture about magnets.

59:31You know, like just the sheer toughness of this little old lady. Yeah. It puts all of us to shame. Yeah. I love that you honor. I also love your fascination with history. It's becoming a lost art form. And the more I even reading your book, I'm a history buff too, but even reading your book, there's things I learned in the book and I'm like, yeah, that applies now. And I want to finish on it because I'm a baseball fan. So I opened up with this, but I want to finish with it. so Babe Ruth is probably the most well-known baseball player of all time maybe the most well-known athlete of all time certainly pretty darn close and you kind of in the book do this comparison between Babe Ruth's gluttonous big ass and Lou Gehrig and for everybody listening this may sound obvious but Lou Gehrig eventually passed from Lou Gehrig's disease or ALS right so but Lou Gehrig is known as the iron horse and that's sort of what I knew about him is he just played in all these consecutive games.

1:00:242 ,100 consecutive games. It's insane. Yeah. I don't think I knew what a great player he was. And I want you to talk about it. I'm going to give one thing away because it just blew my mind. This dude's done. Correct me if I'm wrong. They like x-ray his hands or look at former x-rays. This dude had like 17 fractures in his hands. He broke every one of his fingers and never missed a game. That's insane. The sheer toughness that that requires, just like someone like Queen Elizabeth. But to show up every day, not have an excuse, or even when you have an excuse, is immense. I mean, he gets hit in the head in one game before the era of helmets, goes to the hospital, gets an x-ray.

1:01:01You know, he's knocked unconscious. They go, oh, he's going to miss months. Even the pitcher that hit him goes, oh, it streaks over. Next game, it's right in there. And he was like, look, I could have taken a day off. It was that if I took that day off, that pitch would change how I play. because now I'd be, you know what I mean? He hits three triples that next game because he knows he has to get back in there. He can't let the excuse win. Oh my gosh, bro. And it's his relationship with discomfort and pain that made him different. Also, he sort of embodies this, right? His unwillingness to give in to temptation, which Ruth is doing all the time, drinking and eating.

1:01:43He walks into the Yankees' dugout and they put these fancy cushions on it. He rips him out. He's like, cushions the enemy, right? He wants it. He wants to be tough. And look, Babe Ruth, amazing. But when you read about how Babe Ruth treated his body, you can't, and his money, you can't think, what could a more disciplined Babe Ruth have done? So, you know, I talk about this. I wrote this book, Ego is the Enemy. It's the same with ego, same with this stuff. It's not that people who aren't disciplined are never successful. It's not that people with big egos are never successful. Of course they are, often because they're extremely talented, often because they're lucky, often because it's not like a death sentence, but it is a ceiling on your potential.

1:02:23Yes. And, you know, Babe Ruth's career is cut short because he doesn't take care of himself. Lou Gehrig's career is cut short because of a tragedy. Yeah. You know, but which one did more in that time that they had, right? Unarguably, it's actually Gehrig. Yes. Babe Ruth, I didn't know this. You taught me it. Babe Ruth calls the shot, hits the home run. Turns out Lou Gehrig hit one that night too, right? Yeah. He's the workhorse of an athlete, which ultimately, I think over the long term, does more than this sort of, you know. You guys, his work is so damn good. And I hope today was this unbelievable ride for you about your own life and different breakthroughs for you.

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1:04:01very short intermission here folks i'm glad you're enjoying the show so far be sure to follow the ed my let show on apple and spotify links are in the show notes you'll never miss an episode that way here's a clip of ed my let appearing on the podcast the school of greatness with host lewis hows what do you think is the biggest things that hold all of us back from achieving our dreams faster? Three biggest things. Well, one is the proximity to it. We really do believe it's further away. Like we honestly believe this thing is like a 20 year thing. And so because we believe that we keep it there and we miss out on these, you know, possibilities in our life.

1:04:35The second one is I have a chapter in the book called on equanimity. I say one more level of equanimity. Equanimity is our ability to be calm under duress. So I said earlier, slow things down. The greatest athletes that we admire can slow things down under pressure. they're calm. If you think of a Tom Brady who's everybody's example in this age is that when it's the noisiest and the crowd's the craziest and it's the playoffs and it's the highest stakes for the average person everything speeds up and they lose control. Good friend of both of ours Michael Chandler fought this last weekend. It's a great win.

1:05:06Great win and normally Michael he's one of the greatest fighters in the world but when he has been in duress in some of his fights things speed up and he starts to do this brawl mode and I watched him in this fight things started to not go his way and he slowed things down and he started to show some equanimity under duress and that's when things slow down and we can perform at our best so the second thing i would say is equanimity the third thing is i have a whole chapter in the book on the way you manage time and i this is just there's so many heavy things in the book but the idea that still people manage a day in 24 hours is hilarious to me that this archaic concept that a day is 24 hours is bananas And it's like the 24-hour day was just made up by somebody about the sun and the earth going around each other.

1:05:50Building, you know, 100 million years ago or whatever it was. And this was before there was electricity. There were cars. There was the internet. There was a smartphone. So you're going to tell me I should measure my day the same duration of time. I calibrate time when the same dude didn't have the internet. I used to have to do a project in high school. We'd have to go to the encyclopedia, go down to the library and research for hours. My kids can Google something in 10 seconds now. I can text message you instead of mailing you something that takes a month to get to you. So I've shrunk my days.

1:06:19My days now are from, my first day is from 6 a.m. to noon. In that day, it's called a mini day. 6 a.m. to noon, I get into that day whatever I want. Some days are chill. Some days are faith. Some days are working out. But we've all had that morning where we go, I've got done more this morning than I have in three weeks. I know. Right? So why can't that be every day? And it is, I can tell you. So my first day is 6 a.m. to noon. At noon, the clock goes off. We're in day two. and I reevaluate really quickly for five seconds. What just happened? What did I do? What do I need to do more of? Next day is noon to 6 p.m.

1:06:47I'm going to get the same amount of business, context, faith, fun, whatever it is in that ecstasy in that day. Third day is 6 p.m. to midnight. It's a third day. This gives me three days in one day. I get 21 days a week. If I get 21 days a week, you get seven, stack that up over a month, a year, five, 10 years. I'm going to smoke you in life, right? And I've vended and manipulated time so that my accountability is different. It's not the end of a day or end of a week or end of a month. It's at the end of basically a six or eight hour window. That's interesting. And other people respond to you differently because what is scarce is valuable.

1:07:22People begin to respond to you differently when your time is more scarce, when it's more precious. And so it's completely changed my life the last 25 years running many days as opposed to 24 hour days. Huge. Yeah, so those three things. You're probably one of the best enrollers I've ever met. Enrollment for me is the key to really accomplishing your dreams, enrolling yourself that you're confident enough and have the skills and the tools to develop what you need to do, to have what you want, the relationship, the career, the business, the life, the health, but also enrolling others in your vision, in your dreams.

1:07:58Where did you learn this skill of enrollment, of saying, I've got this idea. It's in the future. Most people think it's 30 years away. I think it's three months away, which seems impossible. and I'm going to call these five people and convince them essentially, but enroll them in a vision that they didn't even know was a possibility in their mind. You're going to speak this vision into them, into their souls, and then they're going to say yes, vote for you, sign up for something, listen to something, interview with you, pay to speak or whatever it might be, give you lots of money, all these different things.

1:08:31How did you learn the art of enrollment? Okay, that's a great question. And in the book, I have this whole chapter on leadership and vision, but like you ask the best questions, bro. I love you. So two ways. One, a couple of very special coaches that I had in my life that were great visionaries. And for some reason, I've always been fascinated with great orators. So I did my dissertation in college on Dr. King. Oh, wow. Whatever your politics are, I think two of the great orators of all time are Ronald Reagan and John F. Kennedy, both of the different parties. I just think they're tremendous orators and they were great at painting these big visions.

1:09:04And then I read a book called Selling the Dream a long time ago written by a guy named Guy Kawasaki. And he's the guy that basically helped like Apple with Macintosh. Selling the dream? Selling the dream. And he's a really unique dude. Yeah, I've met him a few times. Yeah, and so what the book's premise was this, is that great leaders are evangelical about their cause. They're evangelists. And they do that through public preaching, but they sell a big enough dream so that the dreams of all the people within their stewardship can fit inside the one they're selling. So even for you with this whole media empire you're building, one of your big roles, man, is to sell a big enough dream for everybody that gets around you guests vendors advertisers the guys that work with you the ladies that work with you that it is so big and so compelling that all of their dreams and visions for their life can sit and fit inside that one yeah and then the key thing is to repeat it over and over and over most leaders get tired of hearing themselves talk you know what and by the way this is true as being a mother or father as a father my job is to sell a baby we're gonna do something awesome as a family I know, Dad.

1:10:03No, we're going to do something awesome. You're amazing. You're a superstar. I know, Dad. Doesn't matter. I'm telling them over and over and over again. Most leaders think, I've got to say something new to these old people. But the truth is, you need to say something old to new people. Keep saying it over and over and over again. Sell it big. Look at all the people you admire in your life. They're visionaries who are evangelical about their mission and their cause. Not necessarily the money or the cause. What's the cause? Think about Oprah Winfrey. Think about Martha Stewart, think about Dr. King, think about Mother Teresa, think about any leader, think about Steve Jobs.

1:10:38You watch old videos of Steve Jobs, he wasn't selling megabytes. I've asked Wozniak several times, tell me about Steve, what was he like? I said, by the way, why did you name the thing Apple? Just curious, man, what a weird name for a company. Back when companies weren't, he goes, well, and Wozniak is almost like a savant. He goes, oh, well, really, two reasons, Ed. A, came early in the phone book, so we wanted people to find us early. Wow. And Steve said apples made him happy. And so great evangelists learned to link their cause and their mission to people's bliss. You can look at an old YouTube video of Steve Jobs and he's rolling out a Mac.

1:11:14He's not like, here's the speed. He's like, isn't she beautiful? Wouldn't you like look at her curves? Wouldn't she make you happy to take her home? He's selling happiness in an inanimate object. McDonald's, number one seller of food in the history of planet earth. The happy meal. Happy meal. Number one, older real estate. They don't sell food. They sell happiness. Their number one meal is a happy meal. Their mascot's a clown. It has nothing to do with food. Yeah. But they're in the evangelical dream selling happiness business. What's the number one thing they sell in there? Coca-Cola. You get a Coke and a smile.

1:11:47Yeah. Happiness. So great entrepreneurs, great parents, great people have this energy where they're selling you a dream that's big enough that you can fit inside it and the dream at the end is happiness. That's the formula. Oh man. So why do you think people are stuck on, I'll never be able to be good enough to accomplish what I want. The dreams are not possible for me. What keeps them stuck though? What keeps them stuck is this false belief system that their past is their future. So they're operating out of an operating system of their memory and their past. So how do we let go of the past. Well, we have to create a compelling future.

1:12:24In other words, you're not going to let go of one thing until you've grabbed onto the next. You have to create a new future. You have to create a future in it. And by the way, it's okay that you don't believe all of it initially, as long as it becomes repetitive and we begin to take steps towards it, right? So it's, for me, I still have stuff from my past that's there, but this future is so big. And by the way, some things are okay. People go, why do you still work so hard? Well, I want to create, there's still a little part of me that doesn't want to be broke. There's still a little bit of fear.

1:12:51But you're not broke. Yeah, but you've interviewed some of the most successful actors, entertainers, so have I, and you get them privately, and sometimes on your show, they go, you afraid it's going to go away? They go, yeah, I am. That's why I work so hard. So there's an element of that that's okay. It's creating this vision for your life that's compelling. But there's this other thing. I love Think and Grow Rich. It's one of my favorite books of all time. Next to my scripture is my favorite book. But you don't just think and get rich. You have to do things. And by the way, rich can mean more bliss, more happiness, more peace.

1:13:20But you don't just get those things by thinking. There's some things you have to do. But the most powerful part of Think and Grow Rich, man, is he has this part, he says, can you survive the temporary? And if you can survive the temporary, he says, on the other side of temporary pain, you get introduced to your other self. And that other self, he doesn't say this, but that other self produces that other life. And so here's what happens for most of us. We think everything's permanent. And because we think it's permanent, we make permanent decisions based on temporary conditions. Even our bodies, other than our souls are temporary.

1:13:52I was with my dad holding his hand when his body ceased to exist anymore. His soul exists still. But if your body isn't permanent, your problem isn't, your pain isn't, you need to create a different relationship with pain in your life. The idea that you're going to avoid pain, I have a chapter in the book called One More Inconvenience. Chase difficult, inconvenient things. Like what? Like what is something you're chasing that's inconvenient? In a given day, the phone call you don't want to make, the meeting you don't want to have, driving out here. There's a friend of mine who I'd like to help me with the book.

1:14:23It's an incredibly uncomfortable phone call for me. It's the thing I don't want to do today. I don't want to bother them. It's inconvenient. And for me in my life, the inconvenient thing on the page is the one that now jumps off the screen at me that I must do. For most people, their relationship with the pain and the inconvenience is to avoid it. Avoid is what's possible. Yeah, but if you could say to yourself, on the other side of this is this other self. And so whatever your pain is right now, Now relationships just ended financially. Something that's difficult for you to do. Maybe you're trying to lose weight.

1:14:52Whatever it might be. On the other side of that temporary pain is the other self. I have a thing I got to say to you last minute on this topic. In the book, I have this part about pinata. And what most of us as humans don't do is we don't understand compound pounding. The relentless pursuit of something. You're making what I call invisible progress in your life. Like your show has gone boom. And everyone goes, wow, Lewis went from 400 ,000 to millions of subscribers. He's the number one guy. That didn't just happen this year. This is our 10th year. You were compound pounding on this sucker when no one was doing this.

1:15:25But here's the pinata thing. I go to this party. It's five-year-olds. I didn't want to go to the party. It's five-year-old kids. Like, what am I doing here? But as a good friend, they have a pinata. We've all been to them. First kid gets up, hits the heck out of the pinata like 100 times. No candy comes up. Next kid gets up. Whack, whack, whack. Nothing. Next kid, whack, whack, whack. These three now quit. They're gone. another part of the party. There's three or four kids left. Everyone's losing interest. Everyone's pounding on this thing. What they didn't know is each of those blows was breaking down the pinata, although there was no evidence it was true.

1:15:52The last boy gets up, I swear, actually it's a little girl. Last girl gets up, she goes, wham, hits it one time, bam, all the candy comes out. And everyone celebrates. In people's lives, so was it her blow that broke the pinata? No, it was the cumulative shots. Most people don't wait around for the candy. They quit before the candy comes out of their relationship, of their body, of their business, of their bliss, of their meditation. It takes time, but you're making invisible progress. If you ever start to get down or know what to do, give yourself credit for the compound pounding you're doing.

1:16:25You're not sticking around long enough for the candy to come out. And that's what you need to be doing if you're going to change things. What's the most inconvenient thing you had to do in the last, I don't know, 10 years that was like, that created the biggest breakthrough in your business or life? This, being a public person. Really? Yeah, speaking about - Because you didn't do this for a long time. Never. You resisted it for, until like five years ago. Yeah, about five, six years ago. This, when you're so insecure and you're so shy, which I know is still weird for people to know because I can be, when I'm with a friend, you get this, but I'm really introverted.

1:17:03And like I'm on the road, I get room service. You know, I stay in. If I was at a mall and we went to high school together, I would love to say hello to you. I'm probably going to duck into a store and hide just because I don't know. It's not that I don't love it. I do. I remember, I was just saying this to someone coming out here today. Oh, Rob Dyrdek and I were talking. Rob driving out here. And he goes, man, it's a lot of work having a book. And I said, yeah. And I go, you know what, bro? I remember when no one wanted to read what I had to write. So I'm really, really grateful for it. At the same time, that part of expressing myself and being open and being vulnerable.

1:17:35And by the way, I do it in droves now. I fully embrace. If you watch my social media or me, I'm like, hey, man, I'm having a bad day. You know, this is not one of these. This is a day I'm not doing crap that's in my book. You know, I didn't do anything that's in the book today. And so I've embraced it fully and I love it. But the most difficult thing for sure was expressing myself publicly and public speaking, anything public, public, public. And yet I'm, you know. You're an incredible public speaker. Thank you. One of the best. Thank you. I thank you. And it was usually on the most inconvenient thing.

1:18:09On the other side of it is not just your other self, but your greatest gift is revealed to you. And so for me, most of my greatest gifts have been revealed of me doing the really uncomfortable, inconvenient thing. On the other side of it, I meet this version of me. I'm like, the whole time I could have been a really good speaker. This thing I was the most afraid of that I thought I sucked the most at might be one of my greatest gifts. Right. And that's nuts. Here's a clip of Ed Milet appearing on the Heavy Checklist podcast. This book is heavy in the sense that you say things like, winning is more fun than fun is fun.

1:18:44So when I first heard you say that and I read it, it took me some time to process. Because it seems like a simple statement, right? Like it seems very like, you know, yeah, winning is great. But what does winning really mean and what is fun? And I think in your book, you start to dive into, You watched certain friends and associates go this way in the pursuit of fun and happiness and success. Yeah. And it didn't work out quite how they thought it would. Well, and so have you. So I say winning is more fun than fun is fun. What is winning? Winning is just reaching your potential at whatever it is that you're doing, right?

1:19:18And I've had all kinds of friends in my life just go for short-term stuff. You know, they want to go to the club. They want to go have fun. They want to chill out. And to me, that might sound good for like 15 or 20 minutes. But to me, winning, reaching my potential. By the way, winning and having fun, like maxing out my laughter like we were doing before we started here today. Like every area of my life, I do. The reason I wrote the book is really simple. My dad died. And when it happened, I learned all these lessons from my dad. I know a lot about how the brain works. I know a lot about the spiritual stuff, the physical stuff.

1:19:47And it occurred to me, man, like I'm next. Yeah. I don't know when my life ends, but I know I'm the next my let man to go. Yeah. And so I wanted to write a book for my kids and my great grandkids that this is what I know about being happy and successful. And one of the things I know is that chasing short-term fleeting fun in every area, even our scriptures all tell us this, the cheap stuff of life, the cheap things that are easy to get are hollow. And the hard things, I have a chapter in the book called One More Inconvenience. Doing inconvenient, difficult things that build character is where real fun is.

1:20:24Absolutely. And to me, it fires me up to know that because we're in a culture now that doesn't celebrate that anymore. We're in a culture that celebrates cheap, short-term fun, whatever you want to call it. Well, I think fun and fulfillment are synonymous here. This is the type of fun that we're talking about. Feeling fulfilled is fun. Going out and partying on the weekend, that may be fun for a minute. And you might have a great weekend and then whatever else happens after that. but fulfillment, influence for good, and accomplishing things that other people haven't accomplished before, that's real fun.

1:21:00It is real fun. And the other thing is this, you learn something about yourself. This may sound really serious for this, but Napoleon Hill says in Think and Grow Rich, by the way, I love Think and Grow Rich. Other than scriptures, it's my favorite book. But the truth is you don't just think and get rich. There's stuff you got to do. So I wanted to write a book about what do you think and what do you do congruently that produce a result. But one thing I love that he says is he says, if you can survive the temporary, the temporary pain, the temporary issue you're going through that on the other side of that pain, you get introduced to your other self.

1:21:30Oh yeah. And that other self produces another life, which is more fun. Yeah. And so for me, it's no matter who's listening to this right now or watching it, listen, you might be going through something temporary right now. Okay. It's painful. It's difficult. You're having a setback. You're, you're not on your A game right now. Everything in life is temporary. Being other than our souls, being with my dad, I was literally holding my father's hand when he took his last breath. And it occurred to me even in those moments, like, wow, even our bodies are temporary. Nothing you're going through is permanent.

1:21:58Most people start making permanent decisions in temporary conditions in their lives because they don't have the tools, the thoughts, and the actions to take. And I'm like, I need to write a book. You know, humans need to know these things. Plot twist. We're turning the tables on me and I'm being interviewed by my dear friend, Jamie Kern Lima, about my new book, The Power of One More. So enjoy. God bless you. First is actually a famous Ed Milak question though, but this time asking you the question, if you had just five minutes at Starbucks to give someone advice on how to make their dreams come true, what would you tell them?

1:22:32I would say, let's take an inventory of what your two or three gifts are. What are they? And I don't know what they are. Well, then what would people that you love say about you? So your giftedness you look with your kids. Yes, so about their kids are like oh he's fast. She's strong She's smart. She's a good dancer. She's kind She's so we need your gifts if we're gonna do something great We need to know what your gifts are your talents So it could be your nurturing skills your intellect your humor your beauty your writing ability your listening skills your your your touch Your your feelings your intensity.

1:23:02Let's get your skills And once we have those skills, let's figure out how we're gonna use them in the service of other people and if we could do that, if we can find a way for you to serve other people by using what comes sort of easy to you, these talents of yours, we're going to find a way and then the other part of it is get a mentor and get around some people, get associations around you who push you to have highest standards possible. You got a little recipe to change your life. So good. What are you certain of? I'm certain there's a God in heaven.

1:23:34I'm certain that love is what makes the world better and that you will do more for love than you will for anything else in your life. And if you focus on love of what people love of your faith, love of what you do, love is the most powerful emotion there is. And that's the one that's never talked about. It's only talked about in the nature of relationships. And so I'm certain that there's a God in heaven and I'm certain that love is the greatest driver in the world and always will be. What are you uncertain of? I'm uncertain of, I'm uncertain of my own potential. I'm not certain exactly what it is.

1:24:15I'm not, I'm not certain of what that's going to look like over the next 10 or 15 years. I'm less certain now than I have been at most stages of my life, just because I, I'm really evaluating what means the most to me and where I want to spend my time, which is a really good thing but i'm uncertain of what that'll look like i don't know whether it'll be as a public person i don't know whether it'll be in business if it'll be as a speaker as a coach as a behind the scenes person i don't know yet i'm at that stage in my life that once this stuff is sort of the stage that i'm in right now i've got some time i'm going to get clear on the next 10 or 15 years i need to do that again i need to re-up my my vision and my imagination because everything you do comes at the price of something you could have been doing with that time, right?

1:25:01Exactly. You know that. All right. This comes from at Gloria Williams, which by the way, I know who that is. This is Oprah's pedicurist. She also owns a couple of businesses, foot nanny. She says, Ed, is it okay to work on two dreams at once? It is. Yes. The answer is yes, it is. But I will say this. There's this, it is absolutely okay to do that if they're both really dreams, right? But But one thing we need to be careful of is that there's this fallacy that let's talk about money. Let's use money. So can I have two dreams? Absolutely. I'm working on more than one dream at one time. So, yes, you can.

1:25:35Having said that, though, you have to be great at something. And there's this thing that's out there that millionaires have multiple streams of income. That's a fact that's not true. And you know this as well as I do. Most millionaires got wealthy by building one dream first. and then when they got there, they diversified. It's going to be really hard for you to compete. Let's say you want to be a baseball player, just for example. You're going to be a baseball player and a piano player, but I'm playing baseball all day long, 100 % of the time, obsessed with it, getting better, growing, and you're also doing this other thing.

1:26:07I'm going to kick your tail every single time. So in business, if you're doing five businesses and I'm getting great at one, you're going to have a hard time competing against me in that one because I'm obsessed, I'm all in, I'm after it, I'm crushing that one thing, and you're really spreading yourself very thin over here. So you gotta be really, really careful of costing yourself greatness at one thing because you're spread out to two or three or four different things. Can you do two things? Yes, but be really careful about that. All right, at LuckyGirl71 says, Ed, how do I overcome overthinking and get out of my own head?

1:26:43I don't think you're overthinking. I think you're thinking incorrectly. correctly. So I don't think you can overthink. I think you think you're overthinking, but what you're doing is you're in a thought loop that doesn't serve you. And so I have a whole chapter in the book about what are the thought inventories that you need to take thinking. So the whole chapter on this thinking, what is it? Thinking is the process of asking and answering questions to yourself. So the fact that you're thinking overthinking, that's not really what's happening. You're asking yourself the wrong questions. And because you're asking yourself the wrong questions, you're getting these thought looped answers that loop you into other thoughts and questions that cause you not to take action.

1:27:20So you don't need to stop overthinking. You need to start asking yourself different questions, which will produce different answers, which is now called a new thought. And so in the book, I go through what some of those questions need to be that can change the pattern of the loop you're in of incorrect questions and incorrect thinking. and the book will help you with that. All right, Sarah Kay, what is resilience and how do you build it? Resilience is something that's already within you. Resilience is your ability to overcome circumstances. You already have it. You wouldn't be here without it.

1:27:55You wouldn't have got where you are in your life without it, but it is a muscle. Doing hard things is something that we get better and better at doing the more we do it. I have a chapter in the book called One More inconvenience. And what that means in the book is that sometimes in our lives, we avoid inconvenient and difficult things. When you begin to chase inconvenience, when you begin to chase things that are difficult, when you look at your day, even most people avoid the inconvenient thing. When you become a person who does the inconvenient stuff, this is what you do really well. You do the inconvenient thing in your life.

1:28:29All of a sudden that monster gets minimized over time and people will call you resilient. But what you've really become is somebody who is just willing to do the inconvenient thing. Your whole career, most people would term you as a very resilient person because you overcame all those no's year after year, and some of them very painful no's in your life. But the truth is, as you were overcoming them, you would do one more inconvenient thing, take one more meeting, one more call, one more no. And those were all very painful and inconvenient. But the fact that you would always choose the inconvenient thing, Jamie is why you're sitting here.

1:29:03So it looks like resilience, but it, what it really was, was the muscle of being willing to do the inconvenient thing that almost no one else thought you should do, especially after the previous inconvenient things didn't work out. Yeah. But the truth is resilience is doing inconvenient stuff over and over and over and over again. Do you ever get nervous and hide from the attention? Yes. All the time. Yes, yes, yes. You already know the answer to that. Yeah. Like I get room service when I'm out. If I'm, if I'm in a mall and like, I might've seen you from high school, like I'm so introverted. I'll go duck into a store and hide.

1:29:39My family will tell you when we go to restaurants as a family, probably never have I been the one to walk up to the hostess or host and say, Hey, we're the my lets. Like just even that encounter is something I avoid doing. My wife does it every single time. My kids do it every, it's just trips people out of how much I avoid. And by the way, what's really weird about it is I love people. So I get into an Uber. First thing I always say is tell me your story. And I want to hear their story. I want to know everything about my Uber driver the other day, man. This guy was awesome. He's from Lebanon.

1:30:10You would judge this guy's car wasn't really nice. Tell me your story. Lebanese man has a kid at Yale and Harvard and a son going to Stanford and he drives the Uber to help supplement and top of their college loans. And he comes from Lebanon, this whole car ride. I didn't want it to end. He's telling me about what it's like in Lebanon and that it was a diverse area where he lived. It was actually a gated community. I'm like, I didn't picture Lebanon looking that way. He goes, well, where I lived, it was at one time and Jews lived here and Muslims here and Christians here. And we came to this country for a better life.

1:30:39Yale, Harvard, and Stanford. Are you flipping kidding me? This was a remarkable man. So I just love learning about people. I love it. I've seen that. I've been in an Uber with you. So I'm super introverted, but I want to know people too. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Final, final, final thing. By the way, this is so great. It's been a great interview. I'm so grateful because I'm grateful for you. I love you. And thank you for doing this today. I love you and your community and everyone listening loves you. And I'm grateful for them also for being part of this. And I hope everything here blesses them and gives value to their life.

1:31:16I'm going to call this last part the power of one more challenge. The power of one more challenge, Ed. Okay, here we go. This is rapid fire. One more piece of advice you give to everyone listening. That you're closer to your dream than you think and that you were born to do something great. You're one decision away. You're one meeting away. You're one podcast away. You're one book away. you're much closer than you think you are and if you begin to believe that you're gonna find the things in your life they're gonna get you to that place much faster than you believe you can get there that's just an absolute 100 % fact one more thing you'd want to break free from that you haven't yet I want to break free from my inability to tell people no I want to break free from that my lack of saying no to things I need to begin to say no better and not feel so guilty when I tell somebody I can't do something for them I have to get better at that.

1:32:06I have to for my own peace and sanity. Me too. And I bet a lot of people listening, one more talent you'd want that you don't currently have. I would love to be able to sing to create art because I admire that talent so much. And I think it's such a beautiful gift that if I could have that talent, that would be super cool. One more person you get to interview on your show. Who could I interview? One more person who you haven't interviewed yet that you'd want interview on your show okay anybody

1:32:41oprah winfrey tom brady would be right there too and that's going to happen i'm going to make that happen i would like to interview tom brady yeah yeah all right one more place you could travel to where would it be just one i've never been to italy i would like to go to italy and see italy we've had trips scheduled there and then our kids were being born or you know stuff like that's happen so I would love to go to Italy for sure one more fear you could overcome what would it be

1:33:14you want to know something crazy being broke I'm still afraid of it I'm still afraid of being broke the first thing that I thought of I've got a lot of fears but one of them no matter how much wealth I've acquired or accumulated I still have this little program running in there that I don't want to be broke and that crazy so that stuff when i was little when my dad might leave i thought how my mom worked in the home my mother was a homemaker so my dad would leave i would think we're going to be broke and then when my water got turned off and all that happened i went oh my god i'm going to be broke the rest of my life so i would love to lose that fear okay if you have one more day on this earth god forbid you're going to have many more years on this earth like one more day on this earth how would you spend it I'd spend it with my family I would spend it a hundred percent with what my dad did my dad's one more day was with his family he had his wife and his children with him on his one more day we were the ones surrounding him it was the perfect one last day of a man's life and so that would be mine for sure I would be with them one more meal what would it be my mom's spaghetti Eddie spaghetti would have spaghetti isn't that crazy is that ironic I would have my mom's spaghetti for sure which she's made me some recently and I eat like 140 pounds of it in a day so mom's spaghetti and one last thing that you want to share for anyone wondering how your book the power of one more is going to impact their life it'll impact all of you differently I wrote it for a diverse group so whether you're a mother it can help you be a better mother there's chapters in there on parenting athlete you're an athlete or a coach it'll help you if you're an entrepreneur you work somewhere.

1:34:55You want to change your body. You want to change your emotions. You want to be happier. It will impact many of you differently and different chapters will resonate with some of you more than they do the others. But when I was writing the book, I was thinking about all of you. And that's why the book is so deep and diverse. Maybe it's too deep and diverse in some ways, as I've told you, but I wrote it thinking of all of you. I wrote it. The creative process is this. I surround myself with great books, but I prayed a lot writing this book. I prayed a lot. I had my scriptures around me when I wrote.

1:35:26I had my powerful books because the books have energy. And I wrote it thinking about all of you. I can tell you that with the most sincerity I have as I wrote this book truly to try to serve as many of you as I can. And that's why it is so diverse and has such depth to it. This is the Ed Myron Show.