How to Become the Person God Designed You to Be w/ Steven Furtick

27:48Or if I get X, Y, and Z, and then I'll be happy. And so everyone's screwed up. Everyone's sort of winging it a little bit. We're all on this journey of having a relationship in our faith that grows. And this is what I've been really dying to ask you since I knew you. The relationship that I have with God, I want to ask you about this for you. Is it a relationship in the sense for you that it ebbs and flows even as a pastor? Do you have ups and downs in that journey? Or for you, is it just a straight up trajectory all the time? Because when things happen in my life, I almost feel like the doubts I've had or the struggles I've had in my life have only strengthened my faith.

28:32And that I embrace it now as a relationship that's growing. I know it's probably not a pastor question, but I'm curious about that for you. Is yours a relationship, I don't know about ebbs and flows, but has times where it's growing more than others, let's say it that way. Is that true for you or not? It should be a pastor question. It should be a question that you wouldn't even have to ask, but unfortunately you do because a lot of times what we present to people, those of us who preach and lead, is, I don't want to say that it's a false or a fake expectation of a relationship with God, but we almost get people to think that faith and trusting in God.

29:17I have one chapter in the book called Ugly Trust. The idea behind it is some of the times in my life when God was doing the most, I felt him the least. And that goes for every area of preaching, teaching, leading. Like, Ed, I could tell you about the times where I finished delivering God's word, give an invitation, ask people, do they want to give their life to Jesus? And people raise their hands, and I can see tears in their eyes, and go back and collapse on the floor and feel no God anywhere in my body, no trace. And I don't know if this is something that makes people feel afraid that those of us who are pastors and spiritual leaders have moments where we feel completely in the dark.

30:12We don't know what God is doing either. We're sharing encouragement with others, and we're not being hypocrites, but we're humans. And while we're up encouraging you about your kids are going to be okay and God's protecting your family, we're worried about our kids being on drugs. And while we're up encouraging you about like rejoice in the Lord and we're struggling with depression. Depression has been a part of my life and my journey. So has therapy. Not I went to therapy for three sessions and they gave me a Bible verse. like real OG twice a week therapy. And I didn't understand. And here's why, because I was taught almost that if I had faith in God and trust in God, that some of these things like anxiety and depression, they were almost taught to me like they were sins, Ed, like they were actually sins to deal with those.

31:09So now you feel like, well, what right do I have to help others? how can I introduce other people to joy when I can barely get out of the bed? I've had those days. I remember specifically a time when the church was really growing. Our church just turned 18 years old, and we moved here with just a few families to start the church. We had no idea what we were doing, and God really grew it. It was thousands of people. I remember sitting down with Holly one night and we were having dinner and it had been a really horrible day in the office. And this person quit and that person needed to be fired, but we didn't have anybody to replace them.

31:51And everything is going on. And I told her, I said, the town I grew up in had less people than the church that I pastor. I'm not prepared for this. I don't know how to do this. I'm not the leader that we need. and Holly goes, well, you're the one we've got. I just pushed back for the rest of the meal and I'm like,

32:18I don't think that the reason that God uses certain people and calls certain people is because of their perfections or because they have it all together. I think it has to do with their availability, their willingness to let him in to those cracks. I love what the lyricist Leonard Cohen, he said, there's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. That's how the light gets in through that crack. So you keep talking about your cracks all you want, but you still have a calling. You still have a calling, even though you struggle with maybe even suicidal thoughts. You still have a calling.

32:57even though some of you this week, you thought to yourself, I don't even know if I want to go on living anymore. You still have a calling. God's calling on your life is not canceled out because you have low moments. And I want you to write this down somewhere where you can see it in the future. Okay. Great faith has low moments. Those low moments where you don't feel God, where you don't feel hope, those are the moments that teach you to go by faith. If you always felt it, you wouldn't need faith. I understand that ebb and flow, Ed, almost like not God leaving me, but that's God leading me not by my senses, but by my spirit.

33:38Those moments I found out that I can't feel him, I can't sense him, I'm foggy, I don't understand it, I'm struggling with my own stuff, all of those moments, that's where the light gets in, that's where the growth happens. And I know there are thousands of people today who are listening to us and they're like, well, I guess the dream wasn't real. I guess I was just delusional. Look at everything that's happening to me. But we don't walk by sight. We walk by faith. And in my experience, Ed, that's where God has broken through the most. I just wrote a song this week. I'm going to send it to you.

34:11It's not mixed in everything yet, but I'll send it to you. And it says, I remember, God, how you carried me when I couldn't take a step. And I remember how you loved me when I couldn't love myself. And I wrote that lyric because I felt that way at times. Like, isn't that how the grace of God is? It comes in when you can't find a reason to feel good about yourself. That's where I've experienced his presence the most, even though I didn't feel it at the time. This last five minutes is why I'm doing the show. I'm going to get emotional. I just heard these words in my head. This is why you did the show.

34:48I don't mean this episode. I mean this entire podcast right for right now. That answer right there is why I started the show and I've done 600 interviews is what you, you, what just came through you right now. Wow. I'm telling you, that was absolutely amazing. And I'm so grateful that I got to be here for that and that millions of people are going to hear what you just said. I'm grateful and I didn't mean this to happen in this sequence so talk about grateful with an 8 in it but they put you like they picked you up relocated you into this hypothetical thing called a bad mood so I am very honest in that part of the book the mindsets go like this the six mindsets go I'm not stuck unless I stop Christ is in me I am enough with God.

35:40There's always a way. And by faith, I will find it. God is not against me, but he's in it with me, working through me, fighting for me. I'll skip to the sixth one. The sixth one says, God has given me everything I need for the season I'm in. But the fifth one, my wife, Holly says it's her favorite. And it's the shortest one. And it says, my joy is my job. And you really did read this book because you were quoting the book. That's amazing. So thank you for reading it. But yeah, I think I come from a place where I wouldn't describe myself as naturally happy. I played a game with the kids like a year to go.

36:19And this goes back to what you asked me before. As a pastor, do you struggle with these things? Do you feel your relationship with God ebbs and flows? Not only do I feel that way, but I almost felt like it was a joke that I had to write a chapter on joy when it's something that I struggle so much to live in because I'm more focused on pressure. I'm more focused on performance. I'm more focused on what still has to be done. I was preaching a sermon on this, Ed, and I did the Kobe quote from 2009 when they said, aren't you happy? And he said, what's there to be happy about? The job's not finished.

36:56And I was like, I get it, man, that unfinished feeling that keeps me from embracing today and enjoying what God has given me. And you're right. It can sound like the most cliched thing in the world. Go to Walmart, go to Target, get your gratitude journal and do your gratitudes at night or in the morning. And I had one of those overwhelming moments where I was feeling completely paralyzed and stuck. And I wrote down all my morning routine things and the list was literally filling up a whole page. And I felt God say, and when I say that, I felt God say, I want to stop on that. I didn't hear anything out loud.

37:34It was just like the thought that aligned with what I believe is true. That's what I mean when I felt God say, okay? Because I used to hear people say - I'm so glad you said that because people that aren't in the church will often say, what is that? And I think it's different for different people, but I'm glad you just said it that way. Yeah. I mean, it's like, sometimes it's a whisper. It's a whisper inside of you. It's not anything that feels overwhelming. It's kind of like, you know it. And the more you practice it, the more you walk in it, the more you know, oh, that's God's voice. That's not the lizard.

38:05That's the lizard telling me to give up on this. That's the lizard telling me this person didn't call you back because they rejected you because everybody rejects you because you suck. That's the lizard, but the voice of the Lord, the more that you get in tune with that and the more you respond to it, the more then you get in a rhythm with him and you start to know like, oh, that's my spirit. That's God's voice. That's the Holy Spirit. That's what God sounds like. So in that moment, I felt God say, you have more than enough tools to get you out of this feeling that you have right now. Choose one and do it.

38:42Choose one and do it. And so I decided that my gratitude practice needed to be more of a strategy. And Holly laughs at this, Ed. I think maybe me and you are really messed up, like really, really messed up our personality. because Holly's like, you do all these gratitude practices and activities and everything. It's like, don't you ever just feel grateful? And can't you ever just feel it? And I'm like, no, I have to force it. And I'm admitting that to millions of people right now, whoever will hear this, because maybe you're like, oh, well then there's hope for me too, because gratitude can actually be a strategy, even if it's not your natural starting place, even if it's not how you wake up.

39:27So I made up the grateful eight thing. And like you said, Ed, it's a little corny, but I spelled grateful with an eight. And I just started doing it anytime that I need a way out of anxiety, fear, a way out of only seeing what's wrong. I just do. I don't know how many people watch the video and how many people just listen to this conversation. But if you could see me right now. I take my hand and I kind of trace the outline of my hand. Um, and I start, let me see, I can't do it real good with the microphone, but I just, it makes eight and it reminds me of God's hand on my life. And I just, I take eight things.

40:07God, I thank you for my conversation with Ed today. I thank you for the sermon Holly recorded. I thank you for the new song that we wrote. That's giving me life. I thank you that I got to ride to church with Abby today and she's serving on the photography team and she looks so cute in her all black photography outfit. I thank you, God. And I do it. And usually by the time I get to eight, if you do that, it's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I'm tracing my hand if you can't see it. It doesn't matter. If I do it quick and don't filter it, it doesn't have to be grateful for world peace or grateful for the healing of the nation or something that's so big, something real concrete, something that comes quick.

40:45I just do it. I say, God, you've done great things for me. My heart is filled with praise today. I do it, and I can shift it. It's one of the practices. I know that everyone here has been exposed to a gratitude practice, but for me, it is a tool. If nothing else, you might be like, I don't even know what you're talking about, tracing your hand or eight in the middle of grateful. Okay. Just remember this gratitude is the greatest strategy to fight back against anxiety because a grateful heart is a stable heart. And sometimes when we have that lizard brain, when I, when I asked Abby and she said, man, that lizard is loud.

41:27I said, what did you say back to the lizard? And she said, I just told him, shut up, lizard, we're doing this. And I love it. And it's like gratitude and getting grateful. Not just in my mind, it's not just grateful for the things. This is a big shift, but it's grateful to the one who gave the things. Yeah, because the things come and go. But if God is the giver, then there's always more where that came from. So it is very important that you get a strategy for gratitude, especially if you're like me and you're always thinking of how you could be better, how it could be better, how you could make it better.

42:08And that one practice has changed my life. Well, it's what I'm using now. And you know, everybody, the reason I wanted Steven on, I've had other pastors on. One, I just love him. I think he's incredible. But two, those of you that aren't people of faith or you're not Christians specifically, I want you to know, like, these are real people. And what I love about him is because when you watch this man speak, I'm just going to be honest with you. He won't accept this. You're going to see something that is so anointed, almost superhuman ability to communicate. And he won't accept that, but it is unbelievable the anointing this man has.

42:45And so a lot of people that have seen his videos online, they'll see that version. And so the reason I wanted him on a show with me is for you to know, no, this is a real human being with real frailties and flaws and things he's trying to overcome in his life. And that if he can reach and help the amount of people he has reached, and you know that he's a real human, what could you be doing in your life? Because I think it breaks down that barrier of, it's almost intimidating when even, I think probably the reason I'm much more vulnerable over the years on my show is I don't want any illusion that I have all this figured out, that I'm a work in progress.

43:19I wanted to share with you, because I haven't told you this personally, but it fits in the work of the book about really accepting the true me. I was at a really down point in my life many, many years ago. And again, this ebbs and flows, but, and when I prayed, I would always, you know, be grateful to God and worship God. And I love worship music. I love worship in general. It's just something that my heart loves, but this is a really down point in my life. And I actually got on my knees one night. I still pray on my knees and I prayed one night. I'm actually writing a book. I think that will be titled this right now.

43:50But I said, Lord, I said, Father, just tonight, tell me about me. Tell me about me. And it'll make me emotional now, but because a lot of my very close friends know this. They're like, why when we're together, you're always telling me about me? Like, I'll take a minute and go, brother, let me just tell you about you. It's because this particular night, and it brought me to tears. And again, I can't even describe it either. Was it audible words I heard? Was it just a feeling I had was I can't even describe to all of you how I received this message, frankly, but I received it. And it was my father pouring into me how much he loved me and how strong I was and how he gave me this deep voice to communicate and my kind heart and that I really care about people and that I feel emotion so deeply and that I love.

44:36And it was my heavenly father pouring into me about me. And I left that prayer that night, different, very different. And almost like, I feel like what you write about in the book, like I heard the true me. And it's not that it hasn't gone backwards from there, but it's a point I can always go back to in my life and reference when I really need to be grateful. When I really need to remind myself, it's not that I don't drift from that moment. Everybody will always have this, that moment changed my life. And then a year later, it's not changed, but it really did change me because when I do get far away from it, I can go back to that.

45:14It changed, especially how I interact with other human beings, but also what I've accepted about me. I want to grow and change and expand, but I'm made in the Lord's image and likeness right now. As I am, I can have both. I can be loved and accepted and get all of God's grace in the moment that I'm in right now and still want to grow and improve and get better to be the next exciting version of me that he also already knows and already expects. So for me, that was a life changing moment was tell me about me. And I'd love all of you today as you listen to these two men go back and forth, you know, give yourself that gift.

45:50And by the way, if you don't even have a person, what would you assume he would say about you? And just begin to ask yourself that question. So I just wanted to share that to you, brother, because it was a defining moment for me and It fits into the book and your work. You know what I'm saying? It is. No, no. Like, dude, like the time limit on this conversation is what's killing me because like you just said what I was burdened about when I wrote the book. It's like on one hand, it's like, oh, just do you. There's grace and grace and grace and grace and grace. It's like, well, I want to grow. I want to, you know, I want to just be like whatever I am right now.

46:26I want to, I want to become what I get a glimpse of. I call that the glimpse. Like when, when God told you about you, it's a glimpse. So whether we're using an auditory, God's telling you, or he's showing you it's both, you know, it's like, that's the glimpse. And I see me for a moment. Okay. But then there's the gap. There's the gap between my ability to live in that glimpse and grow into that glimpse. So my favorite quote, I think I heard you say it the first time and you just said it real quick. And I was like, what is that? I got to look that up. but you said, you quoted someone else saying it, that if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.

47:06And I was like, what did I say? That was nothing. That's amazing. If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them. So you live in them. So I sat with that quote for about a year after I heard you say it the first time. And I thought about it. I was like, what would I say after that? That's so true. Okay. If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them. But if you agree with God about your potential, you get to grow into it. So I want to tell somebody today, you get to grow into it. You get that glimpse. And that glimpse that you're getting, that is loving, that is full, that is free, that is kind, that isn't addicted, that doesn't have these chains holding you down, that's able to generate an idea, you get a glimpse of it.

47:49That's your father telling you about you. That's the you that he knew. A-N-E-W. That's what you're becoming. So yes, you can have both. That's it, Ed. You can have both. You can be fully accepted by God as you are right now, while at the same time knowing I have not even started to become what he knows I really am. And I'm not chasing something that's out there, it's in me because God lives in me. Christ is in me. I'm enough because Christ is in me. And for me, I just need both. I can't just have this attitude of, well, God loves me. I'm going to sneak in heaven in the back door one day, so I might as well just keep on being rude, keep on being hateful, keep on having a bad temper.

48:40No, no, no, no, no. I want to grow into what he says about me. So as you grow into that glimpse that God gives you, treasure those prizes. I just had a similar thing to what you had a couple of days ago when we were recording a new song and I wasn't planning to go up on stage, but the song just got so good that I had to go up. and I went into this moment and I sang a little bit and I have a lot of insecurities about my singing voice because usually I'm working with singers who that's all they do is sing. And I'm kind of a preacher who sings. I can sing a little bit. I know enough music to do my songwriting, but I'm usually with some of the best musicians, best singers, so it messes with me, right?

49:27And if I'm up on the stage, I'm like, oh, they'd rather hear one of them sing. But every once in a while, I feel like it's special for me to do it and it's a part of who I am. So I went to sing and I sang and it went good and whatever. And the next day I was reviewing the songs like, all right, we got to start figuring out how to release this stuff. And I heard a voice on the recording. And I was like, wait, that's the part I sang, but that's not me singing it. So I pulled up the video and I went to that part on the video. And the guy holding the mic at that moment, singing those notes was me.

50:02That was my voice. and I zoomed it in. I was like, there's something going on here. And it wasn't like anybody had time to go overdub anything. So I know that's my voice. I'm looking at me singing that and I don't think I can sing that. And I thought exactly what you said. Now I have a new reference point, a new revelation of what's inside of me. And when you get those in your life, you're right. You don't get to live in them. It's not like I could walk out and just do it anytime, time, but I did it that time. And if I can do it that time, maybe there's more in me. And that's what me and Ed are teaming up to say to you today.

50:41That glimpse is real. That's the you that God knew before trauma set in, before abuse happened, before you disappointed yourself, before you learned that pattern. That you that you get a glimpse of that knows how to move forward, that knows how to stand up, that knows how, I believe that is the glimpse of the image of God inside of you. So it's just amazing that we both recently had that glimpse experience and that we get to reach out to people today and say, God is giving you a glimpse of what he sees in you and he's inviting you to grow into it. And all you have to do to start with, just agree with him about your potential.

51:22Okay, God, if you made me, you made me like this, then this is how you wanted me to be and I'm available to you to do what you want me to do. So good. I feel like I want to do this again with you where we have no nothing else to discuss other than the things we're talking about right now, just because we're we're in a moment right now. I don't want to leave. And so before we do, first off, let me just say something to you. I love you and I'm grateful for you in my life and in the world. And if you all get a chance, if you don't know, Stephen, just give yourself the gift of watching one of his messages, one of his sermons, listen to one of his songs, you won't be the same.

52:04He doesn't like hearing this, but you can't hear him once at any of their music, any of Elevation Worship's music or any of his sermons, and it not impact you, whether you're a believer or not. I'm just telling you, he's anointed, he's gifted, and it's my favorite stuff to do. It's odd to be talking to somebody that it's the main person's music I listen to, and it's the main faith-based messages that I listen to are both the same person. So thank you for everything, brother. I really am so grateful that you exist in the world and that you've pursued your calling, that you've answered God's call and that you continue to, and that you work on overcoming these things that could potentially limit that calling because Because God's kingdom needs you so badly.

52:49You're so important. Thank you. Let me ask you this last. Let's say someone's listening to this. This is a tough one. They're listening to this today, and they've just always wondered about what happens when they die. Their life, the meaning of their life, why they were born. And that's always been a whisper. Everybody listening to this or watching this, that question's been whispering to you all your life. It's the one question that's never gone away. Some of you have answered it, but some of you have not. And so I'm just curious what you would say to that person who's like, you know, I've looked at Christianity before.

53:26I was a Buddhist for a while. I don't know. I'm agnostic. I don't know what I am, but I am wondering still, you know, what would you say to that person is like a first step or a thought to hold in their mind that maybe they should consider today before we end the conversation? Well, I want to talk to you like it's Sunday morning and we just finished having church together and I'm like, well, what do I do now? And maybe you're thinking like, all right, all right, I need God in my life. I'm going to get my act together. I'm going to clean it up. I've said I was going to do this for a long time. I'm going to get my act together.

54:06that's not coming to God, getting your act together. Because my belief is that we couldn't come to God, so he came to us. It's as simple as that for me, Ed. I couldn't come to God because he's perfect and I'm not perfect. I couldn't come to God because even my best faith is still full of doubt. I couldn't come to God because even the best acts that I do are tainted with sometimes selfish motivations. and so I believe God is so rich in love and so gracious that he saw me in my need. He saw me in my sin. He saw the shame that I carried, and I believe he sent his son Jesus, and the first step of making your relationship with God right isn't changing your behavior.

54:53It's believing, just believing, and believing doesn't mean you don't have any doubts. I don't know what happens when you die, I haven't done it yet. But I believe that when I die, I won't stand before God and he'll say, you know, Furtick, we've got a long list to go over of reasons I'm not going to let you in before I send you to hell. Because he could do that. I mean, I could make the list. The list is long. I believe that when I meet God face to face, though, it's going to be an embrace because of what his son Jesus did for me, because he died for me. And I place my faith in that. and I place my faith in the grace of God.

55:30The Bible says that it's not of works that we're saved. It's the gift of God. So nobody can boast. So nobody can tell you, hey, when you die, you're going to have to spend a hundred years atoning for the things you did wrong because of how horribly you raised your children or the years you spent addicted or all of the things that you did that nobody else knew about. Well, God was watching you and now it's payback time. If you place your faith in him, I believe that record of wrongs is nailed to the cross, forgiven. And I believe that God takes everything righteous about his son, Jesus, places it on you and welcomes you into his kingdom.

56:13And you're like, well, that's not fair, is it? No, it's not fair. It's faith. It's grace. And so my confidence in this life is the same as my confidence after this life, that by the grace of God, I am what I am. And that by believing in him, I'm saved. And I have no other hope, Ed. I'm not boasting in anything that makes me better than anyone else. I just believe that Jesus paid it all for me. And I stand on that every day of my life. And that's how I stand up and preach. And that's how I go in and apologize when I'm wrong and recover when I'm down. is just knowing that, you know, I like to say it this way, religion is spelled D-O.

56:56Christianity is spelled D-O-N-E. It's already done. The price is already paid. All you have to do is place your faith in him and he does the rest. What an amazing conversation. I'm glad, I'm frustrated that we waited this long and then And today when it happened, it was supposed to happen right now. It was supposed to happen right now.

57:23I'm really affected by today. So thank you, brother. You've moved me today in a way that I didn't expect. I love you and I'm grateful for you. I hope everybody will go get the book, do the new you. I also just hope you, like I've said, go follow Stephen on Instagram at least. Go check him out. Check out his stuff. You're going to love his music. You'll love his word. You'll love hearing him preach. And, uh, hopefully today you fell in love with him even a little bit more like I have. So brother, thank you for today. It was outstanding and I want to do it again. And I'm not kidding. We're going to do this again, but we're going to be doing it in person when I'm feeling a little bit better.

57:59I promise. I'm in, man. I'm in, I loved creating with you today and I want to thank you for being a mirror to so many people. You know, you said, tell me about me. You, you show people things about themselves that they never would have seen without you. Nobody does it like you. And I meant what I texted you a few months ago. how did you become the best interviewer in the world? And the only stipulation I have is at least one of the next times we do it. Let me ask you this stuff, man. I want to ask you, I just feel like your gift is so endless and I'm so thankful that we connected and I learned from you.

58:34I appreciate you and thank you for having me on today. It's been amazing. That hour flew by, bro. That flew by. I looked up, I'm like, we have five minutes left. We went here for 15 minutes. That was crazy. All right, everybody, go get Do the New You. Follow Steven. Share his message. And this book will impact your life, whether you're a believer or not. So go get it. God bless you, everybody. Max out your life. This is The Ed Mylan Show.