How to Break Free from Your Past and Live Your Best Life

0:28So, hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive. $10 ,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition-free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also.

0:53So go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed.

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1:37This is the Ed Myron Show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. I'm so grateful that you're here this week. I want to remind you of something as we begin today's program. I'm going to get right to the point. You were born to do something great with your life. I'm going to say that to you again. Listen, please. You were born to do something great with your life. And I just want to be a person who reminds you of that today. Maybe you say, Ed, I haven't felt that way in a long time, and I don't know how to get going. I'm going to talk about that today with you. You might say, Ed, I'm on the road to doing it.

2:13And I'm here to tell you today, I think we can do it faster and bigger. And I want your dreams to get bigger. I want you to stretch your vision. It's very difficult in life to stretch our own vision. And it's very difficult to see beyond what we already see. And my challenge to you today is just to remember that, you know, as a person of faith and as a Christian, you know, whatever you believe in your life. But in my faith, I believe he holds you in the palm of his hand and he made you in his image and likeness and great DNA runs through you. And maybe no one's told you that in a while. And maybe you're going through a difficult time and you need someone to remind you of that and maybe give you some hope and some skills.

2:51And I'm going to do both of those things today for you because I love you and I do believe in you. The reason I believe in you is because I know where you come from. And if you're already doing something great and you're on the road to doing that, I want to assure you that that dream in your heart is real. It's not a hallucination. It's not you're not crazy. It's a preview of what's possible for you in your life. Everybody has a dream. Most people don't realize it. And the reason they don't realize it is they expect it to be easier than it is. they expect people along the way to help them they have an improper narrative about their life they've had some kind of trauma in their life and that story has stamped them and marked them in a certain way that they've never overcome that story and so today is about the story of you and i want you to step back first of all and realize that as human beings we are living in patterns.

3:42About 90 % of what we do every day is in a pattern. Our behaviors, our thoughts, the words we use, they're all about 90 % the same every single day. About 10 % is variable. Human beings and you and I are a series of patterns. Those patterns though, where do they come from? They come from a story. And so each human being that's operating, that's above about five years old, is beginning to build a story about themselves. And by the time you get to a particular age, usually in your early 20s. If it doesn't happen then by 30, maybe a trauma happens in your 40s, but you become a story and a human and you and I as humans will do everything we can to live consistently with this story we tell ourselves.

4:22So first thing I want to say that if something traumatic happened to you when you were a child, there was some kind of trauma when you were young and that started the story for you. And that's not everybody, but it happened in my life and it happened in many of your lives. I want to say something to you that I want you to hear. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Please remember that. And you were born to do something great. And if you could drop that narrative that somehow you caused something or there's something wrong with you or your bloodline or your family.

5:04It's just not true. For some of you go, that didn't happen to me. But stuff has happened in your life where you become a story. And most people are unaware of the story they're telling themselves and they're unaware of the reticular activating system in their brain. So let me just explain something to you. I talk about the RAS often. If you know my work, it's the centerpiece of a lot of the things I teach. But there's a part of it that I've not talked a lot about before, which is that it's a story confirmer. So if you believe something, I'm a victim. I'm hurt. I'm an underdog. I'm not enough. I was, I used to be.

5:35Whatever you believe about yourself, the reticular activating system is going to prove you right. It's going to see circumstances that validate it. It's going to find you people that will confirm that thing you believe about yourself, this story. It will let you hear things, feel things, see things, experience things, watch and listen to things that confirm this story because everything about being a human is to be consistent with the story they tell themselves. That's why Tiger Woods became the greatest golfer of all time, because he had this story being told to him since he was a little boy over and over.

6:07Did he have to put the reps in the work and hit the golf balls and have some genetics, all that? Yeah. But the bottom line is, it's to confirm a story his mom and his dad told him as a little boy. He had to confirm it. You're confirming a story that you're telling yourself about you every day. And if you want to change your life, the key to changing your life, the beginning of it, There's many keys. It's not just one thing. But the beginning of it is taking control of the narrative, changing the story, even if it served you. I'm constantly changing my story. And by the way, it's been a pretty good one.

6:40But I don't want to repeat last year. I don't want to repeat my 40s. I don't want to repeat my 30s. I want to get better. As I said many times, I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. and I'm an imperfect person. I've made so many damn mistakes in my life. I'd like to make fewer. I'd like to create more stuff in my life that's beautiful. I'd like to be happier. I'd like to be more successful. I'd like to make a bigger impact. I'd like the people around me to feel more love. I'd like to feel loved more. And the only way I do that is I don't hang on to whatever the story is I'm telling myself.

7:15Now, I was raised by an alcoholic dad. I could have told that story the rest of my life. I've also made lots of money. I could be telling that story. I've influenced a bunch of people. I could tell that story. I could be an underdog. I could be a victim. I could rest on my laurels. But I know the key begins with the story. So we are a series of stories, and you're trying to prove it every single day. Let me tell you how big your pattern is. Cross your arms right now. I'm crossing my arms if you're watching YouTube. do. Just cross them at your chest. You know, you cross your arms. Okay. Now change it and do it with the other arm.

7:51Doesn't that feel weird? Doesn't that feel weird? That's change in your life. Something as simple as the way we cross our arms is so habitual that even changing one arm to the other feels awkward, feels uncomfortable. And guess what we will do? We will revert back to the way it feels right because it confirms the pattern. And that's what we do in our lives with our story. That's why most people don't change because they don't change the story. You can't just change your habits, right? You can't. It's not just changing your habits, although that's part of it. You can't just change your associations, although you need to.

8:28You got to start by changing the story. And that begins by knowing one thing. the lead character of the story of your life is you you are the author you and god are the co-authors of the story of your life however you view god that's your business you all know how i view god but you view it your way you're the co-authors of the story of your life and once you understand that and that you can create in your life and if you ask for the right blessings you're prayerful about it the great things can come into your life that if you plant the right seeds, that there's a harvest that comes at some point in your life.

9:04So we are a story. Now, here's the thing to understand about our story. The higher the emotion level, the more the story sticks, right? So that's why when you meet most people, if you get to know them for any length of time, think about people that you meet. Within the first meeting or second or third, they're going to tell you about a particular time in their life. And you know when they're going to tell you about typically, the most emotional or their childhood or both. Most people will tell you, I was raised here. My dad was this. My mom was that. I was this. And then they'll tell you the story about an emotional time.

9:38My dad died. I got a divorce. Someone broke up with me. I had a bankruptcy. Someone had a setback. I made this huge mistake. I got hurt over here. So the emotion makes the story stick. So if we're going to create a new story, it has to be emotional for it to stick. We have to work on that. We have to create the emotion. So first off, number one today, what's your narrative? Have you looked at it lately? Like, who are you as a character? And be honest, it's just you and I, and I can't see you or talk to you right now. So who are you as a character in your life? Are you a person who's a character that you're hurt?

10:16Are you an underdog, an overcomer? Is your story you're not enough? is your story I used to be I was are you a victim just be honest is the deck stacked against you story is that your story is your story and by the way it may be you may really have had someone screw you over you may really have the deck stacked against you you may really have been hurt you may really have had issues in your family like I did that you're not proud of like you know I always always used to wish when I was a little boy why can't I be in that family where there There's no yelling in their house. So the truth is, it may be an accurate story.

10:56The question is, in a minute, we'll ask you whether it serves you or not. Maybe your story is, I'm better than. I'm better than them. I'm doing better than they are. What's your story? And be honest about it and be real. Who are you as a character? A lot of my friends are always overcoming life, which is a noble thing. Hey man, I'm overcoming. I'm overcoming. You know, that sounds good. And if it gives you motivation, great, but life should not always be just about overcoming everything. What a crappy way to go through life. Everything you have to overcome, right? At some point, it ought to be able to shift where you're living a dream.

11:34I have people that I know that were overcomers when they needed to be, and now they've got a dream life and they still live like they're overcoming all the time because they never change the story. So what's the story? Number one. Number two, how really true is the story? How true is it? Like the problem with answering this question is your reticular activating system has validated so many circumstances that you've seen that have proven you right. So you have to step out of all of that and say, how true is this story? Like, you know, how long are you going to wear the badge of that divorce? And that'd be the story.

12:13Is there a shelf life on that? Is there a moratorium? Are we going to the next decade on it? Are we going to go the next 30 years on it? That breakup you've had. Like, okay, it's true, but how long are we going to go? Is it still valid? That thing you believe about yourself, that's the deficiency. Is it true? If it is, you can acknowledge it. It's true because I'm in a career that's dominated by men. and I'm a woman, and so that's difficult. Or it's true, I'm in a career that's dominated by women, and I'm a man. Or I have a language barrier, or my race affects me. All those things can be very, very true.

12:47And you can actually answer the question, yes, it's true. And that can be the answer to number two. Or, you know, maybe in some cases you go, it's actually not true anymore. I've exaggerated it. I've overcooked it. I'm not that big of a victim, and I keep living like it, and so I keep finding people that make me a victim. I keep seeing circumstances that validate my very narrow worldview, and I'm proving it over and over again. Yet there are other people from the same exact background of an alcoholic father or an alcoholic dad or have had a divorce or are in my ethnic group or speak my language, and they're winning.

13:19So they've found a way to see a different path forward, even if it is true. Third, how old is this story? How old is it? Okay, just ask yourself that story. It's fresh. It just happened. okay. Was it a year ago? Was it two years ago? Was it five years? Is it 10 years ago? What's the story? How old is it? Four. Here's a big one. You ready? This is where we begin to change. Does this story serve me? Not whether it's true. That was question number two. For half of you, the story isn't even true. For the other half of you, you said, no, it's actually true, Ed. And by the way, I will always acknowledge that.

14:00If it's true, it's true. Maybe you do it. You didn't start life on third base, right? Maybe you didn't even start at home plate. You've been overcoming a lot. I have so many friends that the ones that I'm the most proud of are not the ones who started on second base and got to third or home. I'm most proud of my friends that didn't even start on the field and have found a way to get on the field and found a way to move around the bases of life and win. Those are the most inspiring friends of mine, the most inspiring stories. And so does it serve you? Does it serve you? Is it causing you to win?

14:36Is believing what you believe serving you? And then five would be this. What would the story need to be so that it would serve me? So let's say you found out who you are as a character, the dominant character. You're a victim. You're an underdog. You're not enough. I'm too much. I'm this, I'm, whatever your story is, the character that you're playing. Two, how true is it? Really honestly, okay? And if it is true, how old is it? And if that's, you got the age on it, does the story serve you? If you said, it really doesn't serve me, it doesn't serve me in my success or it doesn't serve, you may say the story has served me because it's made me financially wealthy, but that same story has kept my emotions, my fulfillment at a minimum.

15:22So I had stories that I've told myself over the years that have caused me to accumulate a lot of wealth, but that same story did not serve me emotionally. And so at some point, once I got the wealth, I had to change the story so that I could live emotionally healthy. Some of you may say it's made me feel very comfortable and safe, but it's cost me from progress. It's cost me a relationship. It's cost me money. It's cost me my career. It's cost me recognition. It's cost me contribution and the difference I could make in the world. And as I keep telling the story, so what's it serve you? And then what would it need to be so that it did serve you?

15:55A good example of that might be like the fact that I was raised by an alcoholic father. And, but I was blessed the fact that my dad did eventually get sober, but I could have, you know, you could look at a family, my family, all the siblings turned out, I'm really proud of my sisters, but oftentimes you've seen this in many families, two kids can be raised in the exact same environment. One becomes an alcoholic and a drug to act just like their parent and the other one doesn't and becomes very successful. There's a lot of studies, like in the way that I was raised with drug addiction or alcoholism in families, usually the kids go one way or the other.

16:25They're usually not in the middle. They're either really have a major problem in their life and they've got an addictive personality or they actually become type A, very, very successful people. But same environment, you can take two different conclusions because the story took on a different meaning. In my case, that story meant I wanted to be the one in my family. I wanted to change our family forever. My dad certainly set the table for that by getting sober, but I wanted to be the one. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to change our bloodline. I wanted the MyLets to think differently. I wanted the MyLets to be healthy, productive, giving, contributory people, which by the way, my father became once he was sober.

16:59But also what I took from my dad's sobriety was that people can change. I watched him change his life. So I'm a big believer people can change. That's the meaning I took from the story rather rather than using it as an excuse not to be successful or to be happy. So what would you need to believe about that story so that it would serve you? So, hey, guys, I want to jump in here for a second and talk about change and growth. And, you know, by the way, it's no secret how people get ahead in life or how they grow. And also taking a look at the future. If you want to change your future, you've got to change the things you're doing.

17:32If you continue to do the same things, you're probably going to produce the same results. But if you get into a new environment where you're learning new things and you're around other people that are growth oriented, you're much more likely to do that yourself. And that's why I love Growth Day. Write this down for a second. GrowthDay.com forward slash ed. My friend Brendon Burchard has created the most incredible personal development and business app that I've ever seen in my life. Everything from goal setting software to personal accountability, journaling, courses, thousands of dollars worth of courses in there as well.

18:00I create content in there on Mondays where I contribute, as do a whole bunch of other influencers, like the Avengers of influencers and business minds in there. It's the Netflix for high achievers or people that want to be high achievers. So go check it out. My friend Brennan's made it very affordable, very easy to get involved. Go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart Choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies.

18:42So you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this episode at Progressive.com. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.

19:04When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at goodtoknowfacts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit goodtoknowfacts.org. And everything I'm saying today, I say to you with no judgment. And I will also say this to you. I know that I can't relate to your story, right? I come from a different background, a different culture, a different time, a different age.

19:51I could be a different language, a different country, a different ethnicity, different socioeconomic background. There's no assessment or judgment. This is a brother trying to help a friend, a sister or a brother. Okay. But I'm going to ask you the questions because I care. I'm not one of these people that just creates content. You're okay the way you are, blah, blah, blah. What a joke that is. That's people that don't have any content that can change your life. They validate people's weaknesses. You don't even believe it anyway. When someone tells you you're great just as you are, there's a part of you that goes, no, I'm listening to you because I want to be better.

20:23I don't like my body. I want to change it. I don't like my emotions. I want to change them. I don't like my financial situation. I don't like what I'm giving. I don't like my memory. There's some element of your life you want to change. And the easiest way to get follows and likes now is just, hey, you're amazing. You're awesome as you are. And you don't even really believe that. Maybe you are awesome as you are in 90 % of the places in your life, but you've come to this content to improve the 10 % or the 1%. And so I don't want so you imagine with your kids, you know, your kid can be an A student or a B student and they're bringing home D's and you go, you're awesome as you are.

20:56You believe in them that little to me, great content is you can change your life. You were born to do something great. And if you're not doing it, let's live up to our potential. And I'm not going to just get you to follow or like me by telling you you're awesome the way you are. That means I don't believe in you. It means I, or I don't have any strategies to help you and I just want you to like me, but I would rather you change your life and maybe potentially short-term, not always like everything I say. And I'd say this out of complete love that I do this to serve. So what would the story need to be next?

21:31If you could grab a pen and begin to write a new story about yourself, knowing the lead character is you, what would that story be? what would the heroic story be about you? What would it be? I overcame this situation, or I created this, or whatever it is. At some age, I made a shift, or I eradicated people in my life that didn't treat me in a way that I know I was worthy of deserving. Whatever it is, because remember this, you're one decision away from changing your life, one new thought, one new shot, one new story away. If you could anchor a big emotion to it, you'll change. I have a very dear friend who grew up in a very emotionally and physically abusive environment.

22:14And she lived in that story for years. And so she obviously had certain things stacked against her in life and particularly the things in her family. And so we had to change the story. And the story ended up being that she was going to change her life because of all the people that needed to hear her story. And so it's all the people that had grown up in a physically abusive background, sexually abusive, verbally abusive background she was going to be the hero for people that are going through that so that children could see a woman overcome that she was going to be a hero for people that looked like her that loved like her and she wanted to become a hero for those people she wanted to be able to be somebody that says i have made my life something special and you can as well and so she changed the story's meaning not the story because it was real she changed the meaning Sometimes the story isn't even real at all.

23:06But if you could write a heroic story about you, what would it look like? Because you are one decision away. And remember, the higher the emotion, the bigger the reason, the more the story sticks and becomes a pattern. So if you can load up a bunch of reasons, emotional, deep reasons, right, for why that matters. For me, I get so emotional about my work because I think of it. I truly think, I pray before I do this. I pray before I speak. I think of that one person out there that's like me when I was young. I had no self-esteem. alcoholic dad, shy, introverted, picked on in school, bullied. There's someone out there in the audience that could change millions of people's lives like I have.

23:43If I can reach that person with my story, I owe that young man, that young woman, that older man or older woman that's listening today, my best, my best. And that heroic story of thinking I could change a life and what that person's life could do to impact other people causes me to prepare, causes me to work, changes the narrative. I'm loading myself up with reasons. It's emotional to me. Most of you don't know this, but I started my career after college. I flunked out of baseball. I got hurt and I just wasn't good enough, frankly, long-term to play in the big leagues. I couldn't find a job I wanted.