How To Turn Wounds Into Wisdom w/ Jeezy

24:12And I've been one of the lucky ones that have, you know, and I'm not going to try to dumb it down or nothing. Like what I've been through, I don't think the average man can go through that. You know what I'm saying? And not just from the things that I was into, but just all the people that I've lost over the years. I can go into the thousands, you know, of people's, you know, the hundreds of funerals, just so much. And what it did to me is, and what I've been working through now is, and we were talking about Louis earlier, like me and him been really talking about it, just like, you know, it numbed me.

24:49Like, you know, I couldn't really understand what emotions were, right? Because once you lose people, and I talk about it in the book a lot, you just get this thing like, well, yeah, it wasn't me, so I got to keep going. Because you're running. You're just trying to keep running and staying alive. And over time, I just got this thing where I felt like people were complacent. You know what I'm saying? because I just try not to get too close or try not to show too much love because it's almost like you just never know, right? Brother, in a weird way, this conversation's happened at such an interesting time.

25:24Without being personal, I will say, Andy Fursell is a really good friend of mine. We were talking this weekend about not the same thing but connected to it. And we were both talking about how, even at this stage of our lives, we're just running and we're running and running and running and running. and although not for the same reasons, but all my relationships I feel like as I'm in the middle of this run have just become really surfaced. There's no depth to my relationships. And it's just like, I'll get around to it. I'll get around to it. I'll get around. We were both saying, hey man, like we're best friends.

25:55We don't even see each other anymore. Like it's on the phone. Are you all right, bro? You're all right, bro. And then like a year goes by. And it's a part of life. Like everyone's got to evaluate in a different way. Not the same thing as what you were going through, but like how much of your life are you putting on hold because you're in this run that maybe like some of these other things may matter more. Your friendships, your relationships, the things in your life that matter. You said GPS earlier. You got this thing that you write about, about your something GPS. My mental GPS. This is so good.

26:21I know what it is, but I wanted you to be able to say it. In my former job, I've been very successful. We call them plays. In one play, you could have millions of dollars in one play. You send your money to the wrong place, you could be broke again. Yeah. Right. And I went through that so many times. So like having it, not having it, having it, not having it. I never robbed or took anything from anybody. I always was priding myself on like getting out and figuring it out. And what I started to notice is like even when I lost things, I would get it back like tenfold. Right. Because I always had integrity.

26:57My grandmother raised me. She's a Christian woman. Very serious. Sunday school, the whole nine. You're such an interesting man. You're so interesting. Easter speeches, the whole nine. But, you know, I really had a good heart. I just got caught up in the streets, right? And one thing that I started to realize is if I just keep my integrity and my name is good and my reputation is good, I can always figure out how to get it back around. Because one thing that I did learn about, like in business, if your reputation is good and you're a good person and you pour into people, no matter what it may be, even at your hardest time, somebody might just point you at the right person or send you in the right direction because they know you're good.

27:33and the reason why I call it mental GPS you know I feel like there will never be a time in my life where if I lost it all tomorrow that I couldn't get it back right because I know I understand it and I know how to get back where I left right and then to keep up on that to keep on that path and when you from where we from when you lose it you know people go bad you know I'm saying not like Wall Street where they jump off buildings but they'll rob their brother like they'll They'll take from their, you know, they'll take from their best friend. You know what I'm saying? And not just take. I've seen, you know, situations where people murder their closest friends.

28:11You know what I'm saying? Or kidnap, you know, kids or whatever. And it's just like, when you're in a life like that, you know, it's hard not to. Because the sad thing is, like, the culture respects violence, you know, more so than money. You know, and it's just like either you're going to be a leader that leads with evolution or you're going to be a leader that leads with violence. And that's how it works. You know what I'm saying? So there's not a lot of leaders that lead with evolution. Right. Because those are the ones that, you know, something you ever heard. Like when we talk, we say, wow, the good guys got to go.

28:46Those are the ones that get killed. It's interesting you say that the ones that lead with evolution end up experiencing the violence. Right. Yeah. You know, we're both thinking I was thinking of Dr. King. Right. Same thing. Same thing. And even some of these kids, you know, like Nipsey Hussle. Great example. He's one of my great, you know, Nipsey Hussle, we used to trade books. Nipsey was, he had a hard to go. And when you look at his situation, you can't help but think, like, how could, you know, like, this was somebody that was pouring back into the community, but he was leading with evolution.

29:14Yeah. Right? And the guys that lead with violence, you know, end up being in these situations where, you know, they live longer. Sure. As a result of that, I watched an interview you did, and you said, I really don't trust anybody. Right. And then the host pushed you a little bit, and you're like, well, that was my former life. And I watched, I said, nope, he still doesn't really trust anybody. Like, if we're being really, really honest, like, let's just cut to this. Right. I don't think you really completely trust anybody, even right now. You're absolutely right. Okay. But I find myself opening up more and being transparent.

29:51But I still have to keep, you know, what kept me, even though it doesn't serve me that much in this life, I'm learning to trust and to understand and to get only quality people around. Because when you have only quality people around, it's easy for them to show you that they can be trusted to a certain extent. But I will tell you that 98 % of people that I've led in my life have burnt me some type of way. You know what I'm saying? And to the point where I'm just like, I already knew that was going to happen. Why did I even go there? And my reason, I think, for not trusting is I've never, outside of my grandmother, I've never experienced someone who gave me unconditional love.

30:38Yep. Right? And I never experienced someone that gave me, like, full transparency. Yep. And, you know, I used to live out of survival and fear. You know what I'm saying? but I try now to live more out of love. But, you know, I still can't, like Nipsey Hussle, like I can't think that I'm exempt to what is going on because I'm still a part of that culture. So I have to still... It's almost like being a soldier. You know, if you go to, you know, Afghanistan or whatever and you come back, you still have that mentality that I got to protect myself and my family if something happens because I know how to do that.

31:16I knew today was going to be good, but I didn't know it would be this good. Oh, I'm sorry. No, I mean it.

31:22And I'm going to tell you something. When you're this honest, you pull honesty out of me and other people. And here's the truth. So I'm not a part of that culture, but I'm a part of life. And I think that, again, I think that culture is like a microcosm, a compressed version of what the rest of life is about. And if I'm being really honest, if I'm being really honest, same with me. I think even saying 98 is a generous number. Right, right. It might be like 99, right? 9.7324, right? And I think what I landed on was I'm going to be trustworthy, but I'm pretty guarded with my trust. Right. And life has proven to me that, and by the way, what's cool about that conclusion is that it's caused me to try to search for where can I trust?

32:12And for me, that's God. Right. Right? Like, I don't put my faith in a man. I got to tell you about that, too. Please do. I got to totally talk about it. Because that's what I've reached you. Please, go ahead. What were you going to say? No, I mean, I, you know, I must, I must say, like, I don't know what's been going on with me lately. You know what I'm saying? In like the last year. But I used to pray all the time because my grandmother taught me to pray. But I never heard anything. Right? I never. But like lately, like I might be like meditating and he talks to me constantly. I love it. And I'm serious, like to the point, like it almost scares me sometimes.

32:47Right. And, you know, I nobody's perfect. Right. So as long as I walk with God, I know I'll be good. Right. But people and the type of people that he's brought in my life, like it's crazy. Like you wouldn't believe the type of people that, you know, call me, check on me or whatever. And a lot of them don't understand where I come from and what I've been through. So, you know, they might not understand some of my mannerisms sometimes, but I make sure when I'm with them, I let them know that I'm really there for them and they're there for me. But what I've noticed, and you said about trust, is like I trust that God is going to make sure it's good, but I still got to watch the front door for us.

33:35You know what I'm saying? I just can't let anybody in the front door. Yes. Because that's our sacred space. And, you know, it's so interesting because you look at any part of life, I'm quite sure anybody can say that they don't really have people that they can trust. And the thing about coming from, like, where we come from, especially where I come from, I can't even say that about some of my closest family. You know what I'm saying? And it's just like you would think you can trust your uncles. You would think that you could trust, you know what I'm saying? And all these different things. And my older brother died when we was younger, so I had to be the oldest, right?

34:11So I had to kind of jump out their hair first. And my experience with it just put me in a place where I just put up all these boundaries, right? And what I'm starting to notice lately is that, you know, that wall that I put up, you know, it protected me. It kept everything out. I mean, it kept everything out. Well, it kept everything in. but it also kept a lot of stuff out. So a lot of my blessings that were supposed to come to me, they were out by the wall because I was blocking them. So I didn't take the wall down. I just took the first three layers off so I could see over the wall. So I could see.

34:49Look at that. That's such a perfect description. Right, right, right. By the way, that is such a perfect description. Right. Because if you don't have let people in, you are keeping out so many blessings in your life. I think it's almost like for me, like, by the way, taking a few of those bricks, those levels off the wall is exactly what I've done. Like you're saying things that either I haven't had the confidence to say or the ability to say that I totally agree with. I love when I'm talking to somebody and I'm like, cause it makes me, it hits my heart. Like that's truth. Like, you know what I mean?

35:20Like that's truth. What he just said. That's what I've done too. And almost a little bit other than with God, I trust, but verify. I don't have to verify with God. That's already been verified for me. Right. And I also trust God will bring people into my life that can get close to me. But I also believe there's free will, there's free choice. And he's going to teach us lessons in life. There are Judases in our lives, right? That's part of the stories of the Bible or whatever your faith might be. There's that. There's also though, it's really interesting. You could have written a book about a lot of things.

35:53You wrote one about adversity. And I'm like, because this is a ton of topics you could have done about overcoming limited beliefs, overcoming your environment, because you had, You transcended an environment, which is very rare in life. Why is adversity the topic of the book, and why did you think this is the thing I want to talk about? Oh, wow, that's a great question. That's what I pride myself in. You know what I'm saying? I would be that adversity specialist, if you will. That's what keeps me going. That's my purpose. My purpose is to continue to evolve no matter what, but to continue to give that information back to my culture and to my people and to be an example of what it's like to come out of that.

36:41Because every situation that I've been in, and it's funny that we was talking about God, I don't care how crazy it got. he always put somebody in my life around the time that I needed some information or a ear or a connection or just a process. It never fails. Right. And. I believe I truly believe that he does that for me to show people that you can maintain your integrity and be a solid individual and still survive. I love it. You know, without doing anything that would go against who you are as a man and then your legacy. Because, you know, when you think about some of the great leaders, they did great things, right?

37:30But their integrity is what kept you locked into them, right? Because you got people that are successful, but they did a lot of foul things. And when you hear people talk about them, you're like, wow, I never knew that. And adversity to me is that small glare of hope. Because if I tell you what I went through in this book, your life might be totally different, but you might be up against the same odds. I can tell you that that's the truth. My life is totally different than yours. See, great storytellers tell me stories with a you meaning. So as I read your work, I didn't grow up like that, but I have my version of it in my life.

38:10And so the lessons in the book, the lessons in this conversation, I don't care what someone's life story is. These are facts. You said something so important that God has sent you that person when you needed him, the information, the insight, whatever it might be. I want everybody to hear this man said this. And the reason that I want you to hear it is he does that for you too. The difference is you need to be in expectation that he's going to and aware that he's going to because he has probably sent those people to you previously in your life. and if you're not aware he's doing it or open to the possibility he's doing it, you will miss them.

38:45Yeah. You will miss them. It's like that analogy of the people that are sitting on the roof during the flood. Someone comes by and says, hey, jump on the boat. Nope, I'm waiting for God to save me. Somebody else comes by in a boat. I'm waiting for God to save me. Third guy comes by in a boat. I'm waiting for God to save me. Then they drown and they get to heaven and they go, God, I thought you were going to save me. He goes, I sent three damn people in a boat. Three boats in a puppy. Get in the damn boat, right? And so there's some, you have to be an expectation that God is going to send you a blessing at some point.

39:12But if you're not looking for it and expecting it, you don't hear them or see them or feel them. And then you miss them. You have to be in a good place too, though. You have to be in a good place with yourself. I really realized that because there was times that I wasn't in a good place with myself. And it was just a bunch of noise. I let things on the outside of me control my emotions, how I felt. You know what I'm saying? I just had to come to a place where, and I'm not there yet, of course, but I just started to understand what peace was like to get a little taste of that. And I started to understand what going inward was about.

39:48Because the minute I started going inward, everything changed. Because now I can't fault anyone in my life for what they've done to me. I have to look inside and see how I reacted or what I've done to contribute to that. And I can't blame anyone else. And for me, when I started to understand that is when things started to slow down. Because I wasn't present. I go have conversations with people. It's all on the surface. Yeah, it's all good, whatever. I'm gone. But then I started taking time to look people in their eyes and be like, are you all right, man? How you feeling? What's going on? I started to have conversations where I wasn't, you know, leading all of the conversation.

40:32Like, you know, just tell me, you know, how you feeling? What's going on? And when people came to me, you know, and I pride myself on having a lot of advice. That's just like my thing. You know, I think I'm like, you know, the therapist among the crew. You know what I'm saying? But I ask them. I ask them now, though. I say, you know, one is, you know, do you want me to just listen? You know what I'm saying? Two is, do you want me to tell you what I think? Or three is, do you want me to side with you? Because I could do that, too. You know what I'm saying? So I could be like, oh, that's crazy. That should have never happened.

40:58And I started to understand because, you know, where we come from, it's hard for somebody to tell you how they really feel. It took me until I was 40 to tell somebody I was sad or I was depressed. You know what I'm saying? Think about that. Or I don't feel confident about this. You know what I'm saying? Or that I might be, you know, concerned. Yeah. Because when you're that guy, you have to. Can't show weakness. Yeah, you can't show anything. You said earlier, I'm depressed, I'm drinking. I'm drinking a bottle of champagne in the morning, moving a tequila in the afternoon. You're eating, you're heavy.

41:31You're stressed, you're worried, you're running, you're running, you're running. Is there any one thing you did? Was there any one moment? Or was it just an accumulation of things where you're like, that's enough, I can't do this anymore? I would say this. I didn't have a purpose before then. I was just chasing money and trying to get out of my situation. And he did that. God did that for me. He took me out of my situation. and I'm four albums in, about eight million records sold. Crazy. But what am I doing for him? How am I continuing his message? What am I doing? He took me out of a situation where I could have had a life sentence.

42:05It was there. I still don't know how I staged that, by the way. I think about that all the time, but it was there. Right. And I've lost so many people, and I sat there, and I'm just like, Like, yo, like, you know, right now I'm the issue. I need to work on myself because the things that I have going on inside of me, it's no way to lead anyone, right? And I'm making music. So I got millions of people listening to me and listening to what I'm saying. I'm not a saint, but I do got common sense, right? And it's just like I'm saying things that might affect people in different ways. But I'm like, and my thing is the audio got to match the video, right?

42:44So I'm saying this stuff, but I'm doing something else. And I got to get on line with what I'm saying. So now I'm walking into it. And it was the scariest thing in my life. And by the way, just so we clear, I was met with a moment where I knew it was a moment. Meaning my first album came out. I was selling, and this is a statute of limitations, by the way. Anybody listen, I'm good. I talked to my lawyers about it. And I had to make a decision, which was one of the biggest decisions. I had to make a decision what I was going to do because I was trying to balance the streets and music. And I had some small piece of success.

43:32And I had to walk away cold turkey from the streets. Now, mind you, that means depend on music, right? And when I did that, I had three of those Nextel chirp phones. That's what we used to talk on. And all those phones had a lot of money on them. Like people owed me money. And I woke up and I just said, I'm not doing this no more. I put the phones in the bag, threw them in the trash bin in my building, and I walked away, right? And that was like my first, like, okay, I'm going to do this music stuff. Now mind you, about eight months later, I'm performing at a show and tear my vocal cords. Now I can't talk.

44:13I got a record deal with a major label. I can't talk. I got shows booked up from here to 2000, whatever. I can't go on the stage. And that was the first time he humbled me. He humbled me. He humbled me. He humbled me. And I had to really look at this and go, I'm so close. This could happen. What do I need to do? And that was just a lot of praying, a lot of confusion. And then he let me live. I got a throat surgery that I didn't have insurance at the time. Imagine, I had Lamborghinis, all this stuff, and no health insurance. Imagine that. So I had to pay for my surgery with cash, and then I got back out there, and I started the same thing.

44:51And then that's when he hit me again with Bell's palsy. Oh, my God. He hit me with Bell's palsy in my face. For real? Yeah, my face got crooked, and my mouth was, and it was like my eye was shut. Was that from stress? That was God. because he let me live again. And I went back out and started doing the same thing and was going about it the same way. And after that, I was just like, you know what, man? I got to change something because I've been too blessed. You know what I'm saying? And now I'm looking at it and I'm going like, the next thing might not even be something I can recover from. And that's what started me to just start to understand that I got to start fixing some of my ways.

45:31And it first started with like a lot of my personal stuff I would do. Like, you know, just, you know, I came from a situation where if you sit down with somebody, it's like sitting down and you're being interrogated. I'm not going to tell you the truth. You know what I'm saying? I can't. You know what I'm saying? It's like, it gets the cold and it might get me in a lot of trouble. But then I started to notice that a grown man should never lie, even if it's going to get him out of trouble. You know what I'm saying? So now I got to change this. You know, that wasn't easy to do because I was taught to say whatever I had to say to get out of any situation.

46:00And now I'm having to work through this. And that was like the first step, and then it started going on different steps, different steps.

46:09And when I got to a place where I started to answer your question, when I started to realize that I got to do some work, right? I didn't know where. I didn't know where to start. I just started YouTube and stuff, talking to older people, telling I had my business partner. Now he's been my business partner for like 20 years. I would just go sit with him and tell him what's really going on. I'm like, man, I got about five people trying to kill me. I got beef with these guys over here and that, and then this is happening. That was, I was in the shootout last week, and now this is that, and I got to go to California, and this is happening.

46:41And he's just like, okay, okay, just calm down. Okay, what are you concerned about most? And then we started to, like, work through proms, and he's like, okay, have you ever thought about reaching out to them and, you know, just having a conversation? But my thing was, you know, they're the opposition, so I got to press because I can't let my guys think that I'm trying to sort all these things out. And I just started to understand that there is a such thing called conflict resolution. So that started to help me out a little bit as far as my life. And now I got in a space where I started having a little piece and I was able to start like working on myself, like my health and reading books and just all these different things.

47:20And that thirst for knowledge kicked back in because I hate learning in school. When I was in school, like I dropped out of school in the sixth grade. I got my GED when I was in bootcamp. That's crazy. Right. And then around that time, it just hit me again. I just had this thirst for knowledge. And I just started going around asking people questions. And think about this now. It went from me asking somebody that I knew that worked at a restaurant that I just felt like had some type of prestige. From that point to me calling John Maxwell and going, hey, I got seven questions I need to ask you. You know John.

47:52He like, shoot him at me. To that, to Robert Greene, to Robin Sherma, Tony Robbins and all these and not to like name drop but it's just like I'm getting this information now to give back to the coach because I'm able to go outside of my comfort zone to get it but this stuff helps me with my life as well like we were talking about Louis earlier but I've always been that type of person so to answer your question I got the information from the people that I respected at the time that I was able to mingle with and I don't come as a you know, my reputation exceeds me. Meaning, like, I don't come, and by the way, the most gangstas guys where I'm from are the coolest guys you'll ever see.

48:36They're not loud, they're not boisterous. They're like Denzel in American Gangster. They're real smooth, but they will reach out and touch you. I can tell you, this is like an all-time great conversation. It's all-time great conversation. A lot of things about you that I notice. One is, like, how self-aware you are. Just driving out here, it's like, I think you were here today, like, there's millions of people who are going to be like, oh my god this is unbelievable but at the same time lately on this show god sends me the right person in that seat for me like i was i've got some stuff going on in my life right now that's not great and um some of it's betrayal stuff with other people like we're talking about however i was just talking to somebody actually someone that's producing a tv show i'm doing right now literally before you got here i was driving out here and i said i want to figure out what god's trying to teach me with this lesson and that's one of the things you said earlier is like what am I supposed to be learning from this?

49:26What am I supposed to be? I'm not going to get nothing for Eric Thomas says all the time. You better get something for your pain, right? You know, and the other thing you do very well is a lot of times when you begin to teach things, you're learning, you begin to own them more. So a lot of you that are learning things, listening to the show, you don't teach it enough to other people. And the more you began to teach it, the more you actually begin to live it. People think I can't teach any of this until I'm living it. No, you could say, look, I'm not good at this yet, but this is what I'm learning.

49:52And the more you begin to teach something I found in my own life, like not everything I've taught all the time I was doing at the time, but I was honest enough to say I wasn't right. This isn't me yet. Let me tell you, this is what so-and-so gave me advice on or what I know I need to change about me. And the more I taught things, the more I own them. The other thing I've always wanted to know about you because, and I know the answer because it's in the book and in interviews you've done, but of all the people you collaborated with, one of the other things that holds people back in addition to, and by the way, I want to step back.

50:21You play such an important role in culture right now because of what you just said. There are not enough people reaching people in the communities you come from or young people with this knowledge and information. The world's different. This isn't 30 years ago where you could just get a Tony Robbins tape. There are dudes like me, guys like you, people like John, that this information's there, but it's not what most people from these communities are consuming on their feet every single day. And the fact that you're saying, hey, listen, I come from this, let me teach you this. And this could be someone from a particular culture, a particular age group, a particular part of the world.

50:58That's why I do this. Podcasting is not a big source of revenue for me. I mean, like I got businesses. That's real. Right? But what it is for me is, and by the way, serious. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. We're in the middle of a negotiation right now. That's a whole other story. But having said that, but I want to make sure to acknowledge you and the role that you're playing. And again, this combination, it's a fact. And the combination of your humility with your confidence is crazy. Having said that on the confidence thing, always wanted to know this. You find yourself performing with Jay-Z or you're in the studio with Kanye or whatever.

51:33And I know the answer because I know, but I want them to hear this. And then you didn't really start in music. It's not like you. You had to have some massive imposter syndrome at some point. Like, do I belong with these dudes? And then didn't you have stylistically a little bit different routine in the studio than other people would use? Right. Because a lot of people listen to this are like, I don't relate to the story, but I relate to the emotional part of it. Of chaos, of behaving in a way that doesn't serve me, of creating more stress in my life. And I also relate to the imposter part of this thing.

52:07You've sold millions of records. You've literally collaborated with like the best of the best, which makes you one of them. Right. So like, did you suffer from that? Like, what am I, dude, that's Kanye right there. Like, what am I doing? Did you have some of that? And stylistically, I think in the studio, like not everything you did was the way they did things, right? Well, I recorded unorthodox because I was never taught how to record, right? So I didn't really, I knew music, but I didn't know how to actually put it together. So a lot of what I was doing, it's like being on a golf course and you see a bunch of people here and you just pick up some type of swing.

52:42They're like, you're not on your grip right. So I'm doing that. But the thing about it was the soul was in it, like the truth was in it. And I realized earlier that it ain't what you say, it's how you say it. And I wanted to flag on another point, too. What I realized earlier is that a lot of these people are very talented. They can put words together, put songs together that you can never believe. But for me, it's the way that it's packaged up. Right. And like you were saying earlier about all these people that I've met, they have the word, but I'm the vessel. So I'm the translator. So they give it to me and then I process it and then I package it up and then I give it to them.

53:25It's something that they can digest. So that's with the knowledge. But with the music, I understood that I was talking to a specific group of people who really were the tastemakers and the ones that really had influence before influencers. These were the street guys that were running their cities and their town. And we all had this code that we spoke in because we couldn't let, you know, the authorities into our culture of how we talk because that could get you 15, 20, 30 years just for talking on the phone. So I can have a whole conversation with you right now. We can we can make a play for Mexico to D.C.

54:04to Chicago. And we could just be having a regular conversation and nobody else would know that. but what I knew going into it is I knew the code, right? I knew this unspoken language, so I figured out how to put it in the music because I'm talking to those people who understand it. And they're the tastemakers. They're the ones that know. They're like, oh, he's one of us. He knows exactly what he's talking about. And Jay-Z and them understood that because Jay-Z used to be from the streets as well. And a lot of things about Jay that I like is that I saw him on the road, because I was a Jay-Z fan.

54:36I'm not going to front like when I was in the hood. But what I loved about him was that he was always evolving. So when I met Jay, when he became the president of Dev Jam, I didn't look at him as an artist. I looked at him as somebody that I can learn how to survive from. Because the music part didn't even matter. He's surviving. Like he is in a place where he's got outside of rap. He can do whatever he wants to do. And he's growing up in this. I never seen anybody else grow up in this and keep their integrity and build their brand. That's what I wanted to learn from Jay. So I understood that.

55:15Now, Kanye West was different because Kanye was more so an artist. And I knew that, but he respected what I'd done because I brought Kanye West out at this thing that we call Birthday Bash. It's like the biggest show in Atlanta. It's like 20 ,000, 30 ,000 people. And we had a record together called Put On. he never been in front of that many people that are like street people. You know what I'm saying? His audience was more broad. But he wanted that. You know, we all do. You know what I'm saying? And I put him in front of that, and I noticed that when he was working on his album, Heartbreaks, 808s and Heartbreaks.

55:54He called me. He's like, yo, I need you to come out to Hawaii. And I was like, what for? So when I get out to Hawaii, he has his chalkboard out there, and it said, what would Jeezy do? And he had all his songs on there, and he was playing the songs. he would watch what I would bob my head to and he told me he said you understand how to talk to them in a way that they understand and it's simple because it is you know you have a conversation with somebody you got mean what you say say what you mean but there's a way you talk to them where they feel like okay he he's with us right he's not you know and I was able to do that in a way that they understood that that was my win because it was my win that was my win I was basically talking to the streets everybody understood what i was saying and if you didn't know street lingo you was kind of out of the conversation and everybody wanted to be in the conversation and imposter syndrome i don't think i've ever had imposter syndrome i've been around people that i felt like they wasn't who they say they are and that's what confused me because i was doing everything that i I said I was doing in my music.

56:58So I felt like everybody should be that way. When I started to get around certain people, I'm like, oh, this is a persona. This is an act. This is like WWF. Like, I didn't realize that, but I'm like, oh, what does that mean for me then? Am I doing the wrong thing? Or am I doing the right thing? Because I'm living this. Like, I would live and die for this. You know, Nelson Mandela, like, this is it. And this is all I know. And I started getting in places like that where I, and this probably was a bigger mistake than anything, I kind of isolated myself from the culture of music. I'm probably the only person that do this that people don't really know.

57:36Like the people that I hang around every day are like regular people, you know what I'm saying? Or people that I respect as far as their mental state. But you're not going to catch me in an entourage of rappers. That ain't what I do because I don't consider myself a rapper. I consider myself a man that's on a journey, you know what I'm saying on the journey of healing on the journey of learning on the journey of understanding to show my culture like you can't let people box you in and just tell you like when this is all said and done I'm not going to just be a great musician you know I could be a great father brother cousin uncle whatever but I just can't be this one thing and once I started to understand that I just put myself in a because I want people to understand this is what a grown man from the struggle is supposed to look like and you take your wounds and you make it wisdom right and for me it was just like that was the only imposter syndrome I was feeling like they wasn't like me you see what I'm saying they wasn't the real deal that's how I took it you don't even believe in that it's almost like a costume you're putting these chains on you're putting these things on but you wasn't like that in your former life I was like that in my former life I bought a Rolex at 14 years old I had Lexuses back then you know what I'm saying Everybody that was from where I'm from knew that that's how I was really living and that's how I was really, you know, conducting myself.

58:57Right. So when I got into the music, the music was just a way to, you know, to amplify that. But I still had what it takes to survive in the streets. And if you go to any penitentiary, any neighborhood, anywhere that anybody congregates on survival, they know who I am. They know you. Right. And they know we when nobody sees me out like, yo, I love you. the last album you did. No, no, it's just like, hey, bro, you changed my life. I love you, man. I'm praying for you. I just, you know, I just want the best for you, man. And, you know, protect Jeezy at all costs. And that's the part that I can't let them down with.

59:31So that's why I refuse to give up that part of me that's who I am as an authentic person just to fit in somewhere. So when you see the music thing going around, like, you might not see me there. You know what I'm saying? I started out by saying, I introduced you with, I said, this man has tremendous dimension and depth. Right. Am I right, everybody? Am I right? This is not what you would have expected just in this conversation. Let me ask you one last thing. By the way, I've enjoyed this so much. Do another book so I can have you back. Oh, for sure. By the way, you really need a book to come back.

1:00:04Come back. But I would like to continue this conversation because I feel like we're just scratching the surface of you. For sure. I also have a funny feeling that if I see you, we're going to be friends now, obviously. We've been in each other's phones, but we're going to be friends now. I like it, yeah. I have a funny feeling that in a year there'll be an even different version of you sitting in front of me. That's the thing that I'm most excited about with you. You, is this all worth it? So you've been through a lot. Like, take someone into success, lastly. Like, if it was worth it, what parts of it are worth it?

1:00:39Like, you know, obviously for you, if you didn't get out of where you were, you're probably dead. So in that case, it's definitely worth it. But do you know what I'm saying? Let people on the inside have success. Here's what most people look at success. They want to have some fame. They want to have famous friends. They want to have a bunch of money. You were just down in Cabo fishing, doing your thing. You've had all the cars. You've probably dabbled in some nice experiences with ladies in your life. You've been able to party and do whatever the heck you want. You've had to do a lot of sacrificing and stuff too though.

1:01:12So was all of it worth it? And if it was why, like what parts of it are worth it and what parts of it aren't what you would think it's all cracked up to be? Good question, huh? Good, great question. I think when you say worth it, I say absolutely, because everything that I've been through has molded me and shaped me to be the person that I am, right? The man that I am. And, you know, when you're in the wild and you see a lion and you see his mane and you You see his eyes and you see the way he protects the pride, right? He's been through some things. He's been fighting his whole life, but he's there to protect them.

1:01:51And in a weird way, I feel like I'm here to protect my culture because there's no big homies. Everybody gets rich and they go. Nobody gives back. Nobody, like, and I don't mean like money. I mean, like, nobody pushes hope and knowledge and all this stuff into these kids. They just go get their money and go live their life. And the reason why I say it's worth it is because if I hadn't went through what I went through, I don't think I would know the type of people that I know, right? And able to have those conversations, right? And if I didn't go through that, I wouldn't have enough credibility to even speak for us.

1:02:27You feel what I'm saying? It's just like, how could you, you know, it's like being a, when you're like a general, but you went to college and you never had any wartime in, and then you get on the battlefield and try to tell people how to do, that doesn't work. The only part that I think that I feel like I'm still struggling with, was it worth it, is because when I was in the streets, I put a wedge between me and my mother. Of course, we had a toxic relationship, but I put a wedge in between us because I loved her, and my sister as well. But I always felt like if I went to prison, I don't know what that was going to be like if I truly was connected to them the way that I was supposed to be.

1:03:16So I kind of put a wedge in between this and just went and lived my life. I was just doing the things that I was doing because I felt like if I go to prison, at least I'm not going to tell on nobody because I can't. But I'm not going to be in there going through it because I already compartmentalized my family, which I had started doing that a lot, like compartmentalizing things. And I was good at it, right? It worked for me. Keeping it cold almost. Right, keeping it cold. So that's the only thing I feel like for me. And then I think the only other part is like, you know, life is crazy, man. Like it's like it's so real when you're from where we're from, man.

1:03:59And I just think that all the people I lost, I wish I could have loved them better. I could have gave them more of me because I just lost one of my friends maybe about last year about eight months ago one of my great friends and he was a good dude, family guy, four kids and he owned a local club in the city and I've lost thousands of people just through people I know and other over my lifespan right but that one hit me the hardest because i'm like how is somebody in my age bracket very successful and still being murdered and killed and it hit me different because i'm like i i talked to him about maybe a couple of weeks before this happened and i didn't even think to ask him how he's doing or is he straight so when you say worth it i think what i'm able to give back is worth it but I think that the relationships that I danced over, I don't think that part was worth it because these are good people, right?

1:05:05And now, you know, I got to live with that. But going forward, I make sure that I'm connected, talking to people and doing the right things. But I can definitely tell you this because I want to end on this one. The girls weren't worth it. The cars weren't worth it. You know, the money wasn't worth it. The lifestyle wasn't worth it. Like, none of that stuff is going to matter when you're gone, bro. And the way that people idolize and put these things on a pedestal, none of that can compare to, like, real people and real love and real friendships and just really build them, bro. So I'm going to leave that there, you know.

1:05:54You're a good man. Thank you, brother. Thank you, I receive that. I admire you. I'm really proud of you, too. Thank you, brother. I really enjoyed today a lot. Yeah. Thank you for letting us into your world, too, because the vast majority of people listening to this don't understand that world. Right. And I do think, again, I'll say for the third time, I think there are some parallels that are unbelievable to the rest of life. I was picturing you talking earlier, and I was just thinking about this. Like we started out with your mom with, you know, having a gun to your head and all that stuff as a young man.

1:06:27And I'm just picturing because there's this clip I think of when I think about you, which is when Obama did it a couple of times. But Obama shouted you out like a correspondence dinner. Yes. Just thinking about how remarkable life can be that this young boy, this young man who's living in this situation where he's in the streets, he's surviving, he's buying a Rolex at 14. His mom's got a gun to his head. somehow that young man ends up having, as a young man, but particularly a young black man, having the first black president shouting him out and saying his name. It's like, if that's possible, anything in life is totally possible.

1:06:57And then to go from what you were doing and how you were living to now being one of the most, I think, important men in culture, influencing a part of culture with your message, your wisdom, your insight, paying it forward, continually to pull from one world and giving it to the other, is just awesome, man. Thank you, brother. I've received that. So you're a blessing, and I'm grateful for you. I received that, brother. Yeah, it's a fact. All right, everybody. I told you. Yeah. This is one of these. I started out with an intro and then from the very first second, it just did better than what I told you it was going to be.

1:07:26Love you. I'm so, this happened when it was supposed to. We were supposed to do this a while ago and I couldn't do it and you couldn't do it. The timing was absolutely perfect. Thank you, Ed. Continue to do what you're doing, brother. Yeah. We love you. We're listening. Just keep pouring in, brother. We're here. Likewise. Thank you. Likewise, brother. Love you. Hey, share the episode, everybody. God bless you. Max out. This is The Ed Milad Show.