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27:44There's no magic though. You can do it in either direction. My favorite time in church, I was raised Catholic. My favorite time in church. And when you're a little kid in Catholic church, there's a lot of stand up, sit down, kneel. You know, we're going to say the, our father's all repetitive nature to the service. and my favorite part of church on Sundays was the one little moment where you get to turn to your neighbor and say, peace be with you. Oh yeah. And I love that part of church. In fact, I miss it because I don't go to that church any longer. And my dad said to me when I was a little guy, and this is even when my dad was drinking, cause he was still a really good man.

28:19He goes, you know, I do that quietly all the time when I pass strangers. I said, what do you mean dad? And he goes, Oh, when I pass someone, like I open a door, I'm in an elevator. I'll just quietly they say, peace be with you. I wish you peace. And he said, even when people walk by us in restaurants, Eddie, I'll do that. And that's a practice that I've, I've had all my life because a lot of times with parents, things are caught, not taught, right? Yes. One of the greatest gifts I give myself all the time is my quiet prayers. When I see somebody, I'll even see a family at a table and just say, peace be with you.

28:51And just that feeling feels so good to connect with someone's soul who may not even consciously know you're connecting with them. But I have this belief system that subconsciously, spiritually, from an energetic soul perspective, they do feel it. And so I love that you bring that up. I completely agree with you. I have total goosebumps listening to the fact that you do that. And I think not only from a soul perspective, even if you look at it just from a human evolution perspective, we are designed to pick up on each other's cues and we do it in a thousand ways that we're not even consciously aware of, which is, so I think people would be picking it up, you know, from you saying that.

29:32And that's exactly what practicing meta does. Like I noticed whenever I I'm not as good as I should be about doing this all the time, but I noticed whenever I do practice it, you know, then I go out into the world and I'm just sort of like automatically doing some version of what you just said. Do you know why it works for someone like you and I, and almost everybody listening, because it's going to go to the other thing I want to talk about, which is that I'm an introvert. And some people say, don't ever label yourself as an introvert. No, I I'm introverted. And I love that I'm introverted. And I wanted to, the reason I share this, whatever you want to call a technique or strategy that my dad taught me, it's just really an act of kindness.

30:06It's not really a strategy, but it's also something an introvert can do because you don't have to say anything to give someone a prayer. So it's my, my way of connecting with someone in the unspoken way. And I may never, I mean, there's the truth. I've connected with millions of people this way, probably in my life that I've actually never spoken to. And what I think a much deeper connection than, hi, how are you? Good. Have a great day. I think much deeper connection is to say, peace be with you. Or, you know, I wish you a beautiful day. I wish you bliss. Like I love saying that quietly to myself or another person.

30:39Don't you agree? Oh my gosh. I absolutely love it. And I am sure you're radiating something at them when you're doing it. I feel that way too. I do too. I'll give you another version of something like that, that I do. It's almost like the flip side of what you just described. So I wrote in the book about this video that the Cleveland clinic put out that went viral. Cleveland clinic is a hospital and the video was designed to teach empathy to their caregivers. And so what this video did, it, it like, it takes you through the hallways of the hospital and you're passing all these random people who you normally wouldn't think one way or another, except in this case, there are these little captions that are underneath each random person as you pass them by.

31:25And the captions tell you what the person is going through at that moment. And sometimes it's happy things like, you know, just found out he's going to be a father for the first time. But more often, because it's a hospital, the captions are things like, you know, under a little girl going to say goodbye to her father for the last time. Like these heartbreaking things. You cannot watch this video without tearing up. It's impossible. So once I saw this video, I started to do this practice where I just try to imagine what people's captions are as I pass them by, you know, just in everyday life. I love it.

32:04And I don't know the answers, but there's something about wondering what they are that makes you interact with them completely differently, you know, and care about them in a different way. I love you. I do that too. And I, I, I, I sometimes perhaps I'm making it up in my mind and I'm just going to say, so I've never said this before. I've never thought about it consciously to you just said that, but we get, everyone gets to listen to you and I talk about this, which is cool, right? This is no longer a podcast. It's just you and I talking, but oftentimes, oh my gosh, this. just confirms what you believe so much more deeply.

32:37It just dawned on me. I do do that quietly when I watch people or I'm in a place and it's harder and harder, the more well-known you are to do it intimately because someone sees you, then they know you. So that's a little harder than it used to be for me, but I do do it. And I also ironically sometimes sense their pain and I almost project a story onto them in my mind about what they are insecure or they feel invisible oftentimes because I think these folks feel so invisible. This is my way of seeing them, even though maybe auditory wise, they don't know it. And so I actually, it makes me really even confirm your work even more because I don't usually picture them in their most blissful or happy state.

33:18I picture them in their pain and their sadness. And that just must prove even more deeply. That's how we connect with one another. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we're designed to do it, right? Like we, the species wouldn't survive if we couldn't look after helpless children who come into this world as crying infants. Like that's what we do. And because of that, like that, that ability radiates outward from there. So, um, by the way, if people wonder whether this is true, give them this stat. See, if I'm a business person listening to this, like, okay, what's the business? Yeah. I, the business application of this is maybe you should stop always trying to connect with people on their victory and their wins and what you or your company can do for them, but begin to connect much more deeply with people, which is their pain and their anxieties and their fears and their story, their sadness.

34:09I think you'd find you'd connect a whole lot more deeper, even as a busy person, but give us the research, especially the one about the songs on the playlist. Oh yeah. Okay. Okay. So the songs on the playlist, well, there's a lot to say about that. First of Well, people whose favorite songs are sad songs like you. Well, we'll start with the other way. People whose favorite songs are their happy, upbeat songs. They listen to them about 175 times. People like you who love the sad songs, 800 times. Crazy. And we also know that the songs that make people feel, you know, the chills and the goosebumps and the real feels, they're the sad songs.

34:48They're always the sad songs. and people will say, this is what makes me feel connected to, you know, to the sublime, to the wondrous, to something outside myself. It's always the sad songs. I love it. I love it. I want everyone to know that. And by the way, you and I both always want to get the caveat. We like sunny days, like happy songs too. We kind of have a tendency towards the other. So you're also going to talk about this research where I was talking about from a business standpoint, I think you're going to kind of confirm some of that research. Oh yeah. Well, what I wanted to say about like people connecting to each other through their sadness.

35:20So like there's this amazing psychologist whose story I tell in the book, his name is Dacher Keltner. And he, he's done all this groundbreaking research, proving what he calls the compassionate instinct in people and compassion, what it literally means that word is with sorrow, like with suffering. So it means, you know, you're reacting to somebody else's pain or distress the way you were just saying. So he's, he's located this in our bodies basically. Like if you, yeah, just one example, and there's a whole bunch of them, but we have a, what's called a vagus nerve. It's the biggest bundle of nerves in our bodies.

35:58It governs our breathing and our digestion. So it's very fundamental to who we are and to our survival. And also when you see another being in pain, your vagus nerve becomes very activated. Yeah. So it's like the same nerve that's helping you breathe is also telling you to respond to the pain of the person to whom you've just wished well in the grocery store. That's how we're designed. I love it. I just think everyone, maybe this could give you a different perspective on how you interact and view humans and one another. just this little i don't think even susan you know how big this theory is and that i'm validating as a truth because i think taken to its logical extension would change the way that humanity interacts with one another how we treat one another our religious and political differences are you know our there's our slight nuances that make us different this is this is what would connect people in a much more kind way it would give leaders of companies and teams and businesses and countries a completely different perspective on how to lead and connect with people and bring them together.

37:08So I love, love this work. I have to share something with you about this connecting with people with their pain. And it'll take me a minute, but my audience knows some of this, but here's how correct your work is. My dad was an alcoholic and a little bit of a drug addict. And the biggest decision of my lifetime was my dad getting sober and he stayed sober for the rest of his life, like 35 years. But about three weeks ago, I read your book because I knew we were going to do this. And the next night, Susan, I just want to share with you how profound this work is and these thoughts are for everybody.

37:39So I read your book. I read it in a sitting. And that night I went to bed. Oh, excuse me. The next night when I went to sleep, I had this vivid dream of something I didn't realize that I'm 51 years old. And that is that someone helped my dad and some precious soul step forward and helped my father get sober in the darkest moment of his life. When he was losing his family, maybe losing his life and some precious human connected with my dad and changed my family forever, changed my great grandchildren, people listening to this, you wouldn't be listening to this. And guess how he connected with my dad through their shared pain and suffering.

38:13That person was also an alcoholic, also a drug addict. They knew the shame. They knew the fear. They knew the embarrassment. They knew the frustration. They knew the depression that came with the patterns of behavior. Had that person connected with my dad through bliss and sunshine and rainbows or their own perfection, their own lack of pain, but they would have never been able to help my father. They reached my dad through connecting through shared suffering, through shared pain. And then from there said, here's how I can help you. So from every perspective in life, the connecting point is here and then how I can help you.

38:49Isn't that a great example? Oh, my God. It's an amazing, amazing, amazing example. Thank you so much for sharing that. And I think I don't have that dream if I don't read your book the day before. I don't because it opens up. That's why art, this podcast, it'll just, I guarantee everybody, there's millions of people listening to this, driving in their car on the treadmill or with their family. They're looking at the person, the next person they see just a little bit differently, looking in the backseat at their babies. And they're looking at someone at the grocery store and they're going to think about their friends differently.

39:17And this, this is where change comes from. The other thing though, I have to ask you about. I just want to say, I totally agree. And I have thought this before about like our hopelessly divided politics and culture and religion, everything that I think what we should be doing is figuring out spaces for people just to be able to share their stories and share the pains that they've gone through without it being connected, at least temporarily, without it being connected to any call for policy change or a political agenda or anything like that, just for people from different backgrounds, from red, from blue, from everywhere to just tell their stories.

39:56That's it. I love it. I actually believe that, you know, I get asked sometimes about how to run for office and that's highly unlikely, but I do believe that that's where change comes from is just saying, just please hear me and listen to me. And then you can reach your own conclusions. It's when they think that there's a hook coming or a pitch or a close or something we want you to do is when people are turned off. And I think if you just say, just please hear me, you know, whatever you believe about guns or no guns or school security or mental health, whatever the issues are. To hear some of these parents that just had this tragedy happen in Texas and just to hear their pain, just just hear them.

40:37Many of them have differing views themselves on what should be done about it. But you would reach a more beautiful and correct conclusion if you just listened to people and heard their pain and heard their suffering. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies. So you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you.

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41:31When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at GoodToKnowFacts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit GoodToKnowFacts.org. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest.

42:12Welcome back to another episode of the Jasmine Starr Show. Today, my guest is the one, the only Ed Milet. Your birthday was rather recent, but your mom gave you your dad's cufflinks. Yeah. And when you talk about living in the past, there are elements that are empowering to us, and there are elements that are the things that hold us back. When you put your dad's cufflinks on, like what are the stories? How does it empower you, or does it? Well, no, big time. That's such a great question. So my dad's the centerpiece of my life. You know this, but I'll tell you about it in the book. I was raised by an alcoholic.

42:43My dad, my first 15 years of my life lived a not great life. And the reason I believe humans can change so much is I watched my hero do it. My dad then, for like the 11 millionth time, tried to get sober one more time, one more try. And there was these themes in his life of one more. So he finally got sober. And it was a very emotional thing I write about in the book. And then when he got sober, I said, Daddy, are you going to stay sober forever? And he said, I don't know. I'm going to stay sober for one more day at a time. And I've used that lesson a lot when I wanted to quit businesses. I just like, I'm not going to quit for one more day.

43:15I'm going to quit for one more day. And there were all these one mores in my dad's life where he helped one more person get sober. And so only my dad, by the way, my dad never again celebrated. I'm born April 27th. My dad was born April 11th. And in between those two, my dad got sober. My dad got sober on 420, which is hilarious. On 420, only my dad would get sober on 420. The next 35 years, my dad only celebrated that birthday. And so when I put those cufflinks on that my mom gave me, it makes me emotional to say, but I kind of step into that person who gives things one more try, who I know in your life, the premise of the book's really simple.

43:53My dad always told me this. It's not, the Bible says where there's no vision, the people will perish. But if you dig deeper, most of us have a vision. Like, would we rather be happy or sad? What's your vision? Happy. You want to be rich or poor? You want a jet or commercial, right? You want a beautiful home like this, or you want to live in an apartment the rest of your life? Do you want to help a bunch of people and contribute or make no difference in the world? So most people have a vision. Their issue is depth perception. They think they're further away all the time. And so because they think it's far away, they act in accordance with that belief system.

44:21And they always keep those dreams and visions that far away from them. But what if the truth is you're not that far away? What if the truth is you're one decision away from changing your life like my dad was? What if you're one relationship, one meeting, one podcast, one interview, one book, one thought, one new emotion? what if you were that far away from changing your life then life would look a lot different then you'd begin to look for those one mores everywhere and so when i put those cuff links on i have a tendency to look for those one mores more than i do when i don't yeah so good okay so i i love getting practical yeah so somebody's listening and they're like okay so ed says depth perception the thing i want is farther than what i think is possible at least in immediacy and so i act in accordance to that, which in perpetuity pushes it farther away.

45:08Keeps it there. So then for somebody who's listening, like, okay, let me see if this guy's really talking the talk. I have a vision for X. What are the decisions? What am I looking for? When you say one more decision, one more thing, like where, what, give me the nitty gritty. That's the one thing about this book. If I have a criticism of my own book, it would be that it's heavy. It is loaded with like detailed stuff. So the second chapter of the book's called the matrix. And I love the matrix because Neo was the one, which we can talk about. But what the matrix really means for me is there's a part of your brain, if we're going to be really detailed, called the reticular activating system.

45:38It's located in the prefrontal cortex of your brain. It is the filter that reveals the world to you. Only the things that matter most to you are revealed by this filter. Perfect example is I just bought a Tesla. I like what Musk is doing, right? So I go, I told my team, give me a Tesla. So I get this, I drove it here today. I get a Tesla. All of a sudden, Jasmine, I'm on the road. I mean, people are listening right now. I just want to take a moment. So I told my team to get me a Tesla. So this right here, this right here, I want you to know. this is all of a sudden I'm like that's possible so I'm going to behave as if I am one day away from telling my team but give me the Tesla and by the way because you believe that you're much closer by the way I've also been in a point in my life where I'm like I have no team to tell anything to and my Honda CRX just had the passenger seat stolen out of it right so I've been in both places believe me and uh that's probably why it's so clear to me but all of a sudden I'm on the road I see freaking Teslas everywhere now I mean like literally everywhere three lanes over other side to the freeway, babe, white Tesla, babe, red Tesla, babe, they're everywhere.

46:35They were always there. Why do I see them now? I see them now because they've been programmed into my RAS is important to me. So what happens is in life, if you can begin to make your ambitions, your goals, your visions, those decisions, those relationships, your Teslas, all of a sudden they're revealing. They've always been there. This is the thing people don't understand. There's law of attraction, blah, blah, blah. These things have always been there, but you're not hearing them. You're not seeing them you're not feeling them because your RAS is programmed to worry about the things you're stressed about your current problem in front of you the immediate thing you have to do so how do you do it you have to do it by repeated repeated clear visualizations because your mind moves towards what it's most familiar with you're already humans are already great at this they just visualize the stuff they're worried about they just visualize the tasks they have to do they don't take control of their imagination and their RAS and I teach you in the book how to slow visualizations down how to do them it's not complicated you can do it in three or four minutes and it becomes repetitive it becomes a muscle it's why like when you walk in a room there could be 300 people in a room if someone says quietly the name Jasmine you hear it auditorily over all the other voices everybody's this way because it's in your RAS so these things have always been there and in the matrix they slow it down what happens when you start to program your matrix is your life begins to slow down and you start to see these things.

47:54I just played golf. This is crazy. But the guy about three weeks ago, they go, Hey, I want you to meet this dude. Your net worths are similar. So I get on the first team and the guy's like, Oh man, I'm a fan of yours. I can't wait to hear about you. I go, that's not how I work, bro. I already know about me. We're going to talk about you today. Right? I'm not talking about me. And so I go, tell me your story. He took about one decision away. This blew my mind. He goes, well, my story is really quick. He goes, 1986, I loaned a guy$50 ,000. And he goes, my best friend loaned the same guy 50 grand a week later.

48:21My best friend said, please give me the money back the guy returned the money i let the loan go it turned into 750 million bucks i said dude stop who'd you loan that money to jeff bezos i went you got to be freaking kidding me and i said wait a minute you really were one decision one relationship one loan away from totally changing your life now that's extreme i don't have that story right but i'm a series of small one wars over my life that have transformed me to the point where i'm addicted to it now and And here's the hook, and then I'll come up for air. Most of these things are painful. And on the other side of pain, Napoleon Hill says, you get introduced to your other self.

49:01If you can survive the temporary. This is even good for you right now as you're building your business and you're doing so great, right? Can you survive the temporary? Most people make permanent decisions on temporary conditions, especially entrepreneurs. They do it all the time. And the truth is, if you can survive the temporary and get to the other side of it, there's a gift revealed to you. I'll give you the big one. You opened the interview by saying to me that one of my gifts, and I only have two or three. I've made hundreds of millions of dollars with very limited skills. It's just the truth.

49:27But I do have two or three. So does everybody that are unique to them. One of them is what you said. I am good at reading people and being present and listening closely. What's that come from? Let me tell you what it comes from. I'm the child of an alcoholic. And so when I was five years old, I had three sisters and a mom. I had to know what dad was coming through that front door at five. Right. So that man would come through that front door and this little boy, me, I would have to read my daddy. Is this drunk dad? Is his tie a little loose? Is his hair messed up? Is he walking a certain way? Is he a little slower?

50:01And if it's drunk dad, I got to get my sisters upstairs. I'm going to tell my mom to go take a shower. And then I'm going to grab my dad's hand at five and I'm going to do the other thing I'm good at. I'm going to talk to him and I'm going to change his state. I'm going to tell him how good I did at school that day. I'm going to move him around and I'm going to talk to him. If it was sober, dad, we'd just go play baseball in the backyard and have a great time. But I learned to read people because of a tragedy in my life. A tragedy. One of the hardest, painful things of my life gave me one of the greatest skills I have that's made me tons of money and helped millions of people.

50:34So most of these things that you want in your life are hidden behind temporary pain. Oh, okay. So for the perpetual cynic and skeptic and the people who I love. I love those who challenge. So do I. Somebody's listening and they say, it is a skill that Ed Milet has honed, drilled in, that now he sees one more, one more, one more. It is the white Tesla. But go back to the Ed when you were living a much simpler life, when somebody did steal the passenger seat out of your Honda Civic. Can you give us an example of one more thing that you did that, like, all of a sudden it started opening your eyes to what was that potential?

51:11Yeah. I got so broke. So I was doing okay. A lot of entrepreneurs say, I was doing all right, and then things went bad. That's entrepreneurship, right? You take off, then you crash. You take off, then you crash. Can you talk about that, just the nutshell version of you were doing okay? What business was this? I had a real estate business and a financial business. And so I had done well, and then the market crashed. And then I had a foreclosure. And then I came out one morning, and Christiana's car was stolen. I'm like, I can't take this anymore. Except when I got back into the apartment, it turns out it wasn't stolen.

51:41It was repoed, right? And then we had our power turned off. And then that's bad. But then the worst is we had the water turned off. And so she had to go get a job while I was an entrepreneur and the water turn off. You can't cook. You can't bathe. I would have to get up every morning with my new bride, walk down our apartment stairs after we had already owned a house that we lost, hold a towel up and we would go to the pool at the apartment complex. There was a shower there outdoors. And I'd hold a towel up while my new wife would take a shower and brush her teeth. And then we would switch. I get emotional today about it.

52:13and I would hold the towel up. She would hold it up for me. And I remember we would just climb back up those stairs and I'd have to, I'm living a nightmare and I got to go out into the world and sell a dream. And I decided to go get a job. Hold on. Yeah. I was living a nightmare and I had to go and sell a dream. Yeah. Oh, if that ain't not, if that's not the entrepreneur struggle, it is the entrepreneur struggle. And I still sold the dream. I operated out of my vision and my imagination, right not my memory and my history and so this is so critical but here's what happened it's crazy here's one more decision I made I actually went to surrender I was going to quit my brother-in-law who worked for LA cellular at the time was doing really well he's making like 200 grand a year what was he doing for LA cellular sales sales manager and so long story short I'll make it really quick he was out on Victoria Beach with my sister visiting so I met him down there I said hey can we take a walk and my intention on that walk when I took him was to quit and to ask him for this job and I was so down and we had no water they don't know this but like I mean I'm worried about eating and uh I've hadn't told this ever I don't know what I'm doing this day we're walk because it's you we're walking we get like about 50 yards he's like so what bro and I go to say hey, can you give me a job?

53:33I go to say that, except I go, how long are you going to stay at that crappy job, bro? He goes, what? I go, you need to come into business with me. You need to come live the dream, dude. I'm going to build something big. I've got these plans. Here's what I'm going to do. This, this, this, and this. And it's going to be amazing. I'm going to be worth millions of dollars. I'm going to live on this beach someday, bro. You've got to come do this with me. And as I'm saying, I'm like, what? Like I had intended, but I couldn't quit. and somehow that imagination came out of me. I swear to you, Jasmine, he goes, I don't know, bro.

54:06I need to think about it. I go, you need to think about it. I'll give you a day. He quit that job two days later and came to work with me. He still works in that financial company to this day. He's made millions of dollars. I've made millions of dollars. That one moment of decision walking that beach with him, and he'll hear this. We haven't talked about this in years, altered my life, altered his life. And I was just ready to go. I'm out. I was, I was literally on the walk to raise my hands and something in me said one more time and everything shifted there. Oh, Ed is coming in high. Hey everybody.

54:40I'm excited to share today's conversation with David Goggins with you. But prior to doing that, I want to warn you, the language used in this interview is very strong and there's profanity used throughout the conversation. Do you like suffering or do you just deal with suffering real answer real answer yeah i like to see real answer i like to get a bunch of men together okay men that are the hardest of the hard and i want to be with these men and i want to see them suffer because i'm suffering right along with you but i want to see me get through it I want to see what you're made of. I want to see like almost like the Colosseum in Rome.

55:27Let's fucking go to the fucking Colosseum. And the only way to see who the baddest motherfucker is, is to suffer. You can't do it by writing a paper. So let's go. Because why? What I found out through my life was I thought of myself as some weak little bitch kid. and what I found out and the only message I want to get across to people is once you change one thing your mindset you can attack everything and I find it fascinating I'm fascinated because I'll be in these moments I put these guys on some fucking pedestal yeah which people do with you they do with me and they shouldn't and I was this guy who was a piece of shit looking at these like God how are you guys this amazing But once I worked my way up there, I said, my God, man, we can all compete, motherfucker.

56:19Let's go. So do I like suffering? I like suffering in the way that is competitive, that brings out the absolute best in me and in everybody else. So, like, I want to see a man be defeated. I want to see a man get broken and say, fuck you. I love these men. These men I love, but there's very few of them. There's very few of them. And there's very few that are willing to go there more than once. A lot of people, even people who've gone through special ops, it kicks the shit out of them to a point where in their mind, what got me bad in pararescue was when I was going through it, I said, I'm only going to do this one time.

57:08And so many people in special ops, whether they believe it or not, in anything. Fuck special ops in anything. That's hard. I'm only doing this one time. Once you say that, you fucked yourself. The truth, I got to tell you, off camera, you and I were talking about something. Now we're going to go to something cool. Okay. Well, we've been in something cool, but like I work with a lot of athletes when I get out of their career. They made this massive sacrifice all their life to get to the NFL. They make that thing happen. They're only willing to do it once. right and when that's over their identity's set on that thing forever and they just repeat the stories from that time over and over right and i watch them have such a difficult second half of their life i try to help them with that i've watched it with my business people and you and i were talking off camera so i i've i've started to uncover with me the last couple years that i've been on social media and teaching these things and if you gave me that mirror test the last couple years.

58:05That accountability mirror. When I look in it, I'm starting to look at a dude who used to do some crazy shit that was cool in his life, really accomplished some things. And all these accolades, people follow you, they listen to you, they think you're something special. You have that, I have that. Clearly the differences in our lives are too vast to even venture what you've achieved. The things you've overcome are completely different than mine. But I'm starting to realize something about myself that I want to give the audience a gift of and I want you to talk about it. You know what? I've just accepted.

58:36I'm only going to be happy when I'm grinding for something. I'm only going to be happy when I'm growing. I don't want to talk about stuff I used to do. I want to do something great with my life. I don't know that I can get to the mental level you have, but I think everybody here needs to know something. If you just think you're going to do something temporarily once, man, you're going to be unhappy when it's over. That's right. How about you right now? When you look in the mirror right now, so Goggins looks in the accounting mirror today. What does he see and what are your thoughts about that?

59:07So same with you. What happened with me was like, so who I was, I was this nobody guy. And I created this Goggins and that Goggins, there's David Goggins and there's Goggins. David Goggins is a calm, cool guy that sits back, used to be a weak kid. Now he's just a normal guy. Goggins is a guy that is willing to tape up his legs to go after it. In that book, you read about David Goggins and also Goggins. What I realized in my life is that Goggins is who I love. Goggins is who I created. my dad created David Goggins I created Goggins so what's happening with me and since can't hurt me came out and since I got on social media which is why I fucking don't like social media which I'm not on there very much which I give people one time I have to do me I have to do me so people get it fucking twisted man i am who i am yeah what's in that book is me yeah so now what they see is this guy who's trying to get people to get off their fucking ass that just happened to happen man i didn't set out when i set out to be a fucking ceo and set out to go to ranger school and all this other shit i did and break records i didn't set out to fucking please motherfuckers right i didn't set out to say hey pay me now i got a great fucking story fuck that and i realize now that my life has kind of gotten to a point where people know me i have followers and whatnot the biggest depression of my life is you get caught up into helping so many people out and it's great and i love that but you lose yourself in all of that shit it literally and people go man but but my god like you're changing i get all that shit man but what the fuck is motivating you in that book what's motivating you is a fucking stories i'm telling you about what i did in my life once i stopped living that i'm no more yes i am not the fucker that you are now being motivated from so right now in the mirror i now got back to goggins i'm now back to running 100 miles a week i'm now back to getting the fuck i saw and i talked to my girl about all time you you you travel you speak you you know you you all this shit it's all fucking great and dandy for some for most people i'm goggins what makes me me is the dungeon and yeah and people well oh my god like they're gonna hear us my god dude you don't have any peace in your life don't get it fucking twisted weak people who hear me get all fucking poopy pants about how I talk.

1:02:02So be it. What changed me was I had to be hard on myself. Yep. And I have to continue to grind myself into a fine dust. Yeah. Period. That's where I feel good. I feel like I accomplished something. If things come easy, it's not fun. I must fail at something repeatedly it has to haunt me and then once i complete it i feel like i accomplished something i don't want to set out and say oh there's an a we're good right it's fucking stupid no i want to turn in a million times and say you fail you fail and i'll say okay roger that and sit there and analyze what i'm doing wrong go to these places that people don't go to anymore because all this fucking social media shit and everything's computerized.

1:02:54I want to go to that dark place in my mind and say, okay, how are we going to get this done? I think people, the right people are happy when they're challenged by something. Like when they're pursuing something, when they're challenged, like when there's, when they're not where they could be, right. Where they're, when they're not who they could be. Right. And you and I were talking about this off camera. It's like, I just want everybody to understand this. This is from two people who are sort of in this space. We love helping people. We love making a difference. But what makes us make a difference is the pursuit of who we've been becoming, these challenges, you and all the different ways.

1:03:27You have it in my way and millions of people in their way too. I don't want people to think, I just want to get to a place and cool it. Because if you get to that place and cool it, I think you're going to be miserable. You've got to still find somewhere. And I want to kind of go in your head a little bit because I've not lived this and very few people have lived this. I want to take you back there for a minute. And then at the end, I'm going to ask you what that thing looks like next for you. So this whole thing that you did, you get out, we can't cover the whole military thing because I want them to read the book, right?

1:03:56But then you're like, hey, you really never done any of this before, but this is sort of the formula of what we're talking about. Then the military thing ends and then you're like, yeah, I'm gonna go like run, I'm gonna do the Badwater 135. My cardio was 20 minutes every Sunday on the elliptical trainer. Okay. That was it. That was it. so i'm looking at all these different races and one comes up number one the hardest race in the world badwater 135 135 mile race through death valley i'm like that sounds fucking nuts but i didn't but it didn't describe that it was like a couple day race i'm thinking okay that has to be like a fucking seven day race because i don't know people who run like that so i end up calling chris Kosman up.

1:04:41Chris Kosman is the race director of Badwater and he lives out here in California. He's like, hey man. I'm like, hey Chris. I call him up in the first conversation. I actually have all the emails in my book from me. I'm going back. He's a fucking stickler, man. I'll tell you that. So I call him up. I said, hey man, I'm going to do this race. He's like, have you ever run 100 miles before? I'm like, no. He goes, well to get my race you have to do a 100 mile race and you got to do 100 miles in 24 hours or less. There was only two more races I could do before the deadline dropped and so i'm like he goes you live in san diego right i'm like yeah this was wednesday i call him up on a wednesday morning he goes well there's a race on saturday and it's a it's called a san diego one day at um hospitality point in san diego where you run around a one mile track for 24 hours and so many miles you can get so i'm like it man this guy's kind of call me out i'm gonna get this shit done i'm a seal i'm a badass been through ranger school and shit i got this hardest thing i did my entire life dude was this one race so i go harder than than getting through hell yeah wow i was not prepared okay at all so i go i sign up for the race i show up i'm this big bodybuilder looking guy shirt off black hat on you know and i'm i I set out.

1:06:06So every mile, I'm going to see this blue lawn chair. I had Ritz crackers and Milplex. That was my fucking nutrition, man. No water. No, not just Milplex. No water. No. Ritz crackers and Milplex, dude. Come on. I fucking, you know, I never drink water on runs and shit. I fucking didn't know about all this shit. So I go out there and I'm running. I get through 50 miles. I'm going to cut to the chase because I detail it really well in the book. I get going. I sit down at mile 70. And, buddy, I hadn't sat down yet. And I sit down and everything falls the fuck apart. Literally, man, I'm like peeing blood down my leg.

1:06:46I have some crap coming out of me. And I got 30 fucking miles to go. And I'm in the worst shape of my entire life. And so I won't get too deep into it, man. But I end up going back through my cookie jar. And I talk about, you know, my cookie jar is basically something I invented about. we forget how badass we are when we're suffering because our mind is stays right there and suffering the cookie jar is a reminder you know how your mom used to have the cookie jar you white you know you don't know what kind of cookie you're gonna get but it may be a oatmeal raisin maybe chocolate chocolate chip meat because you know she's dumps them in that motherfucker you just grab one and go so my cookie jars the things I've accomplished failed at didn't fail at just just kept on grinding through so I take this one second I calm down so I realize okay man I gotta be able to just stand up first and I'm all dizzy and lightheaded.

1:07:37And I go through this process. And I said, I might quit, but not yet. I go, this is the worst shape of my life. So I said, I might quit because when you're not going to quit something, you got 30 miles to go, your mind's spazzing. Like I'm fucked up. Like 30 miles is a long way to go. Just fresh. I've already gone 70. I'm the worst shape of my life. I'm like, okay, so I'm giving my mind some space because if you don't give it space, it's just going to freak out. So I'm like, you know what? I'm going to quit, but let me just sit here for a second and drink some water now and I'm drinking water I have my crew going over to get some fucking you know nutrition some some food for me I'm getting better so now I stand up Like wow maybe to stand up now because I wasn't able to I was all lightheaded Now I'm going on this track and I get to mile 81 and I wasn't gonna make the time I was moving slow behind time way behind Okay, and this is a this is the craziest thing in the world and I fucking shit you not I'm in the worst shape of my entire life ever.

1:08:38I've never even been close to this again. Never. Mile 81. I'm not going to make the time as slow as I was moving. And when your body and mind connect, and I think this is the only time I've ever done this. Okay. You become a cyborg. I end up running 20 miles at about a 10-15 mile and get done with that race I did 101 miles in 19 hours and six minutes and to this day and I don't and I don't detail it well with you but in the book I do I learned more from that 19 hours and six minutes than I did in all three hell weeks Ranger School. And this is months. Ranger School is 60 something days. Hell Week and all the Buds is six months.

1:09:32I was in Buds for like 18 months. You know, I went through Delta 4 selection twice, you know, pull up records. I learned more in that one race that I wasn't prepared for. That 19 hours brought me from utter misery, happiness, failure, success, depression. I went through every fucking emotion in the world in 19 hours. And you should hear how the race ended. Then I really took a shit on myself. Like I got in that blue chair when the race ended and I literally, it just was over. I was in the worst shape of my life. I got in the tub and they put the shower or she put the shower on me. The shower's hitting me as I'm laying in the tub in the fetal position.

1:10:16And what came out of me looked like dirt as I'm peeing. It's not even blood. this is this is dark brown dirt and i'm sitting there and she calls my mom and my mom has a doctor friend over her house and this guy's one of the best doctors in the country and he's like um you need to get him to the doctor now so what i'm about to tell you he's gonna you up so i'm sitting there and i think i'm i think i'm gonna die and we're saving my life and I'm in this tub and I'm jackhammering and I had this hot water hitting me and I'm literally in the worst pain. My shins, my feet, I'm broken. And I'm just sitting, I'm cramping up and she said, we gotta get you to the doctor.

1:11:01You know, your mom's worried, I'm worried about, like, we've never seen this before in my life. And I go, I'm not going anywhere. I wanna sit here and enjoy this pain. And and I and I know the listeners hearing this is going to say, man, you're a fucking nut. No, I'm not. What I got a chance to experience in that 19 hours and six minutes of my life was something I didn't want any painkillers. I this was proof positive. What I was feeling is what I just did. I did something without training, without coaching, without a cheering staff, without any knowledge. I took a raw human being with no training whatsoever, put him out in a condition and just through this alone.

1:12:03Got through it. And I sat there and I was like, this is it was the best feeling I've ever had. and will ever have in my entire i was in the worst pain in my life and it was the best feeling i ever had in my life not because the pain i was in by the pain was confirmation of my god did i just do that wow and i had completed hell weeks but that right there was like don't take this from me man and and it was confirmation proof positive that this young kid that came from that wasn't shit that lied and cheated for i was now the truth god i was now the truth i was a navy seal i went through army ranger school as honor man i went through all this i i was truth i became truth there was no more lie and what's funny about all that is the people in my life who were in my life when I was bad and I call it that wasn't bad I had a fucked up way to go man they want to they're still out there and it was a fuck I'm saying I can drop names on them they want to take me back there they're mad that I'm here yes they want to still make me out to be what I was right right they don't like the fact that they're still where the fuck they're at that's right they hate that so on this journey in life there's a lot of people who are fucked up right now on the journey there's always be that motherfucker in the sewer you came from that's grabbing at your ankle as you're leaving that sewer that's going to drag you right the back down because you figured it out they're not willing to figure it out there's not much to figure out the only thing to figure out is this and everybody has a different equation my equation is different than yours my equation was very different than most people's and it's not about being sadistic it was just about that that right there was kind of like the moment of my life where i realized i don't like to say that i've arrived because you never want to have that i've arrive mentality because you stop.

1:14:27But that was the moment that I realized that I was the truth.

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1:15:26So, want to drive? CarMax. Pickup not available everywhere. Restrictions and fee may apply. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. And, you know, there's all kinds of different addictions in life. You know, we can become addicted to alcohol or we can become addicted to a person. We can become addicted to drugs. I'm addicted to gambling. And all of those are really well-known addictions. There's one addiction that I see become so prevalent in our culture today that I do not see being discussed in the business world or in the personal development, the self-help world, because it's sort of a scary topic to touch on.

1:16:05And so what I want to talk about today is achievement addiction. And I know that may sound like an interesting thing coming from somebody whose show is all about achieving your dreams and making great things happen in your life and changing your life. But there can become an addiction to achievement that becomes very unhealthy. And one of my concerns about so many of you that are involved in the podcast or personal development world is that you begin to miss the forest for the trees. And that you begin to become addicted to achievement in a way that is unhealthy. You know, all kinds of studies right now.

1:16:41If you write this down, just remember this phrase right now. Process over product. that if you're always focused on the product you're producing and the achievement that you must have, you lose focus over the process. And what happens oftentimes in life is we become so focused on the fruit of our life. We become so obsessed with the fruit that we want to produce in our life that this takes all of our energy and focus away from building the tree that could actually produce fruit for a lifetime. We become so addicted in the finish line and the achievement, this addiction to achievement that it becomes incredibly unhealthy to our long-term mental health and also our long-term wealth accumulation our long-term building because we don't learn the process of delayed gratification and we don't fall in love with the process of doing something great in our life as opposed to always being addicted to the product and this achievement addiction become incredibly unhealthy it can become unhealthy because you delay all of your bliss in your life until you get to particular destinations once i get this achievement then i'll be happy.

1:17:42Once I get this relationship, then I'll be happy. Once I get this amount of money, then I'll be happy. And this addiction to the finish line keeps all of the bliss in our joy in our life into the future. There is a way to be blissful now and still being productive. The other thing that happens when you're addicted to achievement is that you become, it can very carefully insidiously become a perfectionism addiction where you think everything you have to do has to become perfect. That can cause paralysis. That can cause you, I'm talking about analysis paralysis that can cause you to not want to take risks or take steps or step into the unknown because it's all about the achievement.

1:18:17It's all about the finish line. This can lead to a life that's really not very harmonious. All kinds of data tells us right now, and I've said this previously, that actually the brain produces more of dopamine, which is our joy chemical, our pleasure center, the pleasantness in our life. We produce more dopamine during the process of achieving something than when we actually get to the actual finish line of the achievement. Brain studies now show us that when you get to the end and you get to the dopamine, it actually falls off the charts downwards once you get the achievement. And then you're left wondering, is this all there ever is?

1:18:52You know, is this as good as it's ever going to be? And if you do that enough times, you repeat this achievement addiction pattern. Once you actually get to the achievement, if you do, and it's a very unhealthy way to get there, when you get there, it's not all it's cracked up to be. And eventually you and your brain go, this just isn't worth it anymore. And you stop the journey. You stop being willing to do the work that you once did. You may need to ask yourself right now, are you really working like you were working when you were starving and hungry, if you're no longer starving and hungry?

1:19:21Because there was something beautiful to those days where you didn't have any achievement, wasn't there? In fact, in some strange ways, the hardest parts of my story of when my water was turned off and, you know, and we didn't have electricity in my house and cars were repoed and I had a home going to foreclosure. In some odd way, there was a happiness there that I don't even have now in my life because I was so enthralled in the process of my life. You know, some of the most happy people in the world are the most happy when they're just so involved in process. Why? Because process focus keeps you present.

1:19:59There's all this stuff in personal development. Be present. Cause yourself to be in the present. Don't be in the past. Don't be in the future. The truth is all there is, is the present. And when you're focused on something, that's the work you love in your life, the actual work, the actual dedication to the process, you're fully present. The minute you take your focus to the achievement, you're no longer present and you're focused in the future. This can lead to anxiety, worry, frustration, an addiction that's unhealthy. It can lead to sacrificing lots of other things in your life that matter on the way there.

1:20:30I'm not for a minute saying, don't bust your tail and do something great. Don't misconstrue what I'm saying. Because I don't believe you can actually enjoy inaction and rest unless you know what it feels like to be completely active and busting it. For me, I only enjoy inactivity after massive spats in my life of full activity. Then and only then can you appreciate rest and enjoyment and unplugging. A life of being unplugged, a life of no process, a life of no achievements, a life of no expansion of your being is a wasted life. I'm talking about nuance here. What I'm saying is that you get so addicted to the achievements that you constantly delay your bliss and your happiness at the expense of other human beings in your life.

1:21:14And secondly, when you get there, you're waiting for all the dopamine then rather than falling in love with what you do to get there. This is not a message about fall in love with the journey. Sure, that's part of it. I'm talking about falling in love with the process. And what's happened to a lot of people is they've become conditioned in their life. There's this conditioning that it's all about the achievement. Why is that? because that's what we see. We see on ESPN, what do we see? We don't see the entire game of baseball or football or basketball, whatever the sport is. We don't see them practicing.

1:21:45We don't see them lifting weights and stretching. We don't even see most of the stuff that happens. We only see the highlight. We only see the home run. We only see the great catch. We only see the touchdown, right? We only see the goal. We only see the dunk. We only see the three-pointer to win the game. And so we become highlight reel and achievement addicted thinking that's all that matters. Not only does your brain not work that way, Your life won't work that way. And I worry sometimes in this space, this business, personal development, self-help space, that everything's pointed to the achievement.

1:22:15And this becomes an unhealthy addiction as opposed to addiction to the things that can be healthy in our lives. there's also this addiction to accumulation, that some of I can accumulate enough things, if I can accumulate enough awards, if I can accumulate enough money, if I can accumulate enough cars, if I can accumulate enough conquests, if it's a woman, accumulate enough men or a man, accumulate enough women. If I can accumulate a jet, I can accumulate things, that somehow if I can just accumulate a bunch of stuff, that somehow that's an achievement and I'm going to enjoy my life and feel better.

1:22:49And just remember this in your life. You cannot take it with you. You cannot take these things you accumulate with you, but you can leave it here. And what I mean by that is somebody who's accumulated a lot of wealth in their life, I can tell you, and I want you to accumulate wealth. I want you to accumulate success. I want you to accumulate awards. I want that. But this should not be your obsession. Your obsession should be the work you do in the process, the people's lives you change in the process. That you can leave here. See, the award, the money, the jet, the house, you can't take that with you.

1:23:26But the lives you change, the difference you make, the consciousness you shift, the difference you make in your own family by being the one, the difference you make in other people's families by the work you do in your business, your life, your good works, that you leave here. Life's about being in the full present moment, every moment you possibly can be. And then when you're no longer here physically, you leave these things here and they reverberate into history, the ripple effect of the works you do. That's something that's blissful when you're addicted to it, but the actual achievement, not so much.

1:24:01And so I want you to really evaluate this idea of accumulating things in order to be happy as opposed to being focused on what you need to do to change other people's lives. The other thing I want to share with you too is that one way to get out of this is to begin to compete. I like to almost like gamify my life where I'll compete for different things. I'll compete in the gym every day. So it's not about how big is the bicep or how ripped are your abs or whatever your body fat might be or your weight or all that. That's an achievement. But to fall in love with the process of actually working out and actually competing to get stronger and faster, competition is a great diversion from the unhealthiness of achievement addiction.

1:24:42And so I really want today for you just to sit back for a second and ask yourself, what does make me happy, right? What does make me happy? And am I spending, am I thinking I'll spend 99 % of my time kind of grinding, but when I get to that achievement, man, that's when all my happiness will happen. Or is there a better way to live? Can you actually fall in love and enjoy the day-to-day process, the ups and downs of your life? You know, I'm convinced in my life, I made a decision. I don't want a merry-go-round life. I want a roller coaster life. Most people will choose a life of the merry-go-round.

1:25:18It just keeps going in the same circle. You get on that merry-go-round, you go about one time, you start seeing the same things, don't you? And it comes back around again and you see it again and you see it again and you see it again. And it's nice and calm and slow with that goofy music. And it just repeats itself in a circle very slowly. Little ups and downs as you just go in the circle and see the same things. That's a merry-go-round life. And if you're listening to me right now, you have decidedly chosen you do not want to live life on a merry-go-round. You've decided you want the roller coaster, the ups and the downs and the butterflies.

1:25:55And your stomach goes all the way up, right? You know, it's woo! And the scream and yay! And you're scared. That's the journey of life that produces the most bliss is actually the roller coaster life. But I think too many people think I just want to get off the roller coaster, right? And get to the end of it and achieved that I finished the ride. And I'm telling you, when you finish the ride, that's when all the butterflies go away. That's when all the joy goes away. That's when all the bliss goes away. The joy and the bliss is in the ride. even the ups that are going and you know it's coming you do all the way down up and down I don't want a life that avoids ups and downs I want the roller coaster but I want to decide I'm going to enjoy the process of that ride so you can make two choices you can choose to get on the merry-go-round and if you're listening to me you don't want to be on the merry-go-round if you're listening to me you either chose consciously to live a life off of the merry-go-round like 99 % of the people do.

1:26:56Same life, same pattern, same conversation, same vacations, same nothing, no growth, no experience, no memories, no joy, no life. That's 99 % of people. So if you're listening to me, either you've decided I want to get off the merry-go-round or you've gotten off of it. But the other mistake and choice you can make is this up and down thing. I just need to get to the end, to the finish line, to who rides over. And then you get off and you go, yeah, wasn't that awesome? Right? Wasn't that awesome? That's a mistaken choice. That's the achievement addiction. The right addiction, I believe, is the nuanced one in the middle, which is to accept you've chosen a roller coaster life and the people around you have chosen to be with you in your roller coaster life.

1:27:39And it's to make sure those people around you get what they need as you ride your dream and you ride your roller coaster and that you get what you need, which is the bliss and the happiness and the fulfillment and the contribution that comes with the day-to-day riding of that roller coaster in the process and not waiting for all of the joy for the end of the ride. And so please guard against achievement addiction in your life. And I'm really hopeful that today helped you really hear something you've never heard before and cause you to begin to think every week I'm producing content. I want you to begin to hear it when I'm doing these interviews through this idea that you're not here to just accumulate and accumulate and accumulate.

1:28:18because you can't take it with you, but you can leave the people that you help, the difference you make, the vibrational frequency you change, the consciousness you shift in your own family, in your own being, and the lives of other people. You can leave that here, and I sure would appreciate it, and I know your family would, and I know you will, if that becomes your obsession and your addiction. What an honor it is to be with this gentleman here today and to share him with all of you, and it's an honor to have him today because I consider him on earth one of, if not the greatest expert on the brain, on the inner mechanics of the brain, mindset, and peak performance.

1:28:56So I know it's what all of you want to talk about. So I have John Assaraf here with me today. John, thanks for being here, brother. And it's so good to be here and thank you for giving me the honor to be here with you. These are strategies that are real, that work, that we both do. So there's two prolific entrepreneurs who are now in this space that are saying, these are the things we do. And isn't it ironic that we both do them and we're both addicted to them and we both attribute it to our success. So please talk about that, brother. So I have my vision boards and I actually have my exceptional life blueprint that I've created.

1:29:34It's about 50 pages of my prayers, my rituals for my spiritual growth, health, wealth, my money story, my inner mission, my outer mission, you know, some of the stuff, you know, either that I have or that I'm creating. And so I create these visual representations to trigger the biggest part of my brain called the occipital lobe and to activate my memory center. So I have vision boards for what I want to create. So I'm giving my brain the exact instructions so that not only it focuses helping me achieve that, what most people don't understand about vision boards or creating goals in writing that are specific is that your brain is a deletion and distortion tool as well.

1:30:22So if you give your brain the instruction of this is the stuff that's important to me for health, God, spirituality, charity, fun, experiences, my children, my mother, my father, my son, whatever it is. And you say, this is what I want to trade my life for. Delete and distort everything else. Now, all of a sudden, you're using your brain as a deletion and distortion organism in order to be able to help you hyper-focus on what you want. So part one is get absolute clarity on what you want so your brain helps you eliminate what you don't want part one part two right part two is i tend to be a goal-seeking guy right and i used to not celebrate the small stuff and i used to just like you know fuck bigger goal bigger goal bigger goal more bigger bigger and somebody says to me like are you gonna like slow down just to enjoy some of the stuff that you actually have done for yourself and for people in your family.

1:31:19And I was like, well, let me create an accomplished board. So good. So accomplished board, you passed that test on your own 40 years ago. Celebrate that. You helped this person who was challenged and celebrate that. You know, you did this for him or for her or for yourself. Celebrate that stuff to remind yourself because I'm tough on myself. Like, come on, let's go. It's a goal, let's go. And sometimes I forget the stuff that I have done, the stuff that I do do that I need to remember. So I created an accomplishments board and a list so I can just go to it when I feel like, holy shit, am I smart enough to achieve that next thing?

1:32:07Am I good enough? What a lot of people don't know, Ed, is when I was a kid, I used to feel like I wasn't smart enough. and when I was a kid it helped me back and today I still feel like I'm not smart enough and that fuels me to get smarter so I use it like I set big goals like oh god I don't have the skills I don't have the knowledge but I can figure it out I've got contacts I've got friends and there's books there's google there's there's youtube there's holy mackerel I don't need to have all the specialized knowledge anymore so I have accomplished but also you know a crap board is what conflicts are happening right now.

1:32:43I often say that there's only four things that are holding you back as a human being. Only four. There's not 25. There's four that are the core. One is if your vision and goal is bigger than your self-image. Okay? So if you feel you deserve it, you can have this vision and goal and be excited about it and motivated about it. You will not do what it takes to achieve. One. Two, if you have limiting beliefs, If you have a vision goal, but you have a limited belief that you're too young, too old, whatever the case is, your limited beliefs will drive your behavior. Three, fear. Fear of being embarrassed to shame, ridiculed, or judge.

1:33:20Fear of failure. Fear of disappointment. And we'll talk about disappointment in a moment or fear of succeeding and failing again. Disappointment. And then the fourth one, by the way, is you're lacking the knowledge and skill required. So that actually sets up a self-doubt trigger, which activates the Frankenstein brain, which causes you to lose motivation. But most people prefer to master disappointment and comfort zones instead of mastering change. Wow. So if I master disappointment, I know what I got. I just have to deal with, well, okay, this is what I got. And if I master my comfort zone, then at least this is the devil I know.

1:34:03Yes. Versus mastering change, and we know what's going on in our brain. We know what's happening neurologically, biologically, emotionally, physically, and all of that is a skill. Yes. It's just a skill. So why not just master change? Why not become an adaptationist right now in the time that you need it the most in the world? Because if you don't, then you're just going to keep repeating the same patterns that are going to get reinforced. And it makes it harder in three months, six months, and six years. So master change now and make that one of your core competencies. And then you master your life.

1:34:45Oh, my gosh. You guys, anybody familiar with my work know how much I love this man and how much we line up on these things similarly. I love the way that you phrase things. And guys, one thing about change, one of the reasons we hesitate to change as humans is it's an energy depletion too. Humans kind of want to conserve energy. But guys, we love to gravitate towards what we're most familiar with. We create these patterns in our life and we repeat them over and over and over again. And if you're not conscious of what they are, if you don't create new ones, you're just repeating the same life in a different year over and over.

1:35:18And that script that John talked about, your script is the same as it was five years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago, with slightly different characters and slightly different dressings in the room. This is the Ed Myron Show.