Judge Frank Caprio’s Final Interview: A Legacy of Love, Faith & Compassion

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1:17This is The Admirate Show. Hey everybody, so I come with you with sort of mixed emotions today. I'm both excited and at the same time grieving a little bit like millions of other people are. So today I'm going to share with you a conversation with the beautiful soul that was Judge Frank Caprio. And ironically, we didn't know it at the time, but this was the last interview of this precious man's life. So I'm honored to share it with you. I'm also honored to let you know that on behalf of his family, we're going to make a donation to his favorite cause. And if you're interested in donating along with us, you can click the link below or in the show notes.

1:52But this is a beautiful conversation with a brilliant and gentle, generous man. And I'm so honored that I got to share the final one of his life with all of you. God bless you, everybody. Enjoy this special conversation with a beautiful man. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So today's a special day for me. This is somebody that I've admired from a distance for just an extremely long time. He's an internet sensation, but he's 88 years old. You all know who he is. Immediately, you'll recognize his voice. If you're on YouTube, you'll recognize his face. I consider him a kindness broker, a kindness broker, and somebody that if you just watched him, I think you'd just live better if you emulated many of the things that he does in his life.

2:37And he's coming to us today on a day, I don't think he's feeling his best. He's also been going through a cancer battle. I asked him how he was one to 10. He said a five. I said, well, by the time we're done, we're getting you to at least a 6.2. So he's, he's sucking it up for us today on a day where he's not feeling his best as well. But he has a way to always make other people feel their best, even when he's not feeling his best. And he'll do that for all of you today, for millions of you around the world. This is the great Judge Frank Caprio joining us today. Judge Frank, thank you for being here today.

3:08It's an honor to have you. Well, thank you for the opportunity. It's my son, Frank, who's here. And we got one of the producers that's been with my dad from day one. And he nominated four times, Taylor. How you doing? My mom wants to say hello. Hi, mom. How are you? How are you? Well, we're going to hold your whole family up in some prayer, like literally right when this thing's over with. So we get a little comfort and a little strength coming your way. That's good. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for sharing in with us today. I know it wasn't easy and we're very, very grateful. So thank you.

3:38Let's go back a long time. When you're 88, you can go back a long time, right? We could go through your upbringing and whatnot, but I want to first touch on a day because it just struck my heart. I actually was reading about it. I got teary-eyed. You as a little boy and your grandmother, ironically of all places, is in court. And that day kind of made an imprint on you for the rest of your life, never knowing at that age you'd end up spending a lot of your life in courtrooms. You were just a little boy at the time, but maybe you could just set the stage for maybe just a lesson in your life that you learned very young in a place that you spent a lot of time teaching other people lessons.

4:13That was actually my father who was in court with his father. Okay. And my grandfather was a fruit peddler from Italy. Ah, okay. As was my father. Okay. I'm first generation here. So my grandfather and a number of his buddies, after peddling fruit all day, decided they'd play some cards and they got a little rowdy. And my grandfather got arrested. My father was one of 10 children. One. And so my grandmother was notified that the following day she had to be in court because her husband got arrested. Oh, my God. Literally, she doesn't understand the process here. So she thinks she needs a lot of money to get her husband out of jail.

5:00So she goes to all the other fruit peddlers and borrows money from them. And the following day, she brings my father because she didn't speak English. She brings my father, who was in his early teens at the time. She brings my father as the interpreter. Oh, my goodness. Okay, so your dad's the little boy. My dad is the little boy, right? And what did he see that day? My grandmother is there with my dad in court, and my grandfather's been in the cell all night, you know, so they call his case. And my grandfather comes from the cell, and he's disheveled, and they seat him down. And my grandmother gets so excited.

5:42she's in this strange court. Well, what she did was the night before, she went out and borrowed money from all of the other fruit federation thinking that she was going to need some money to get her husband out of jail. And so as soon as they bring my grandfather up, my father is the interpreter because my grandmother didn't speak English. And she says she has a handful of money that she borrowed from the fruit federation. And she says, please, Judge, please. No jail. I got a demon. It's an interesting story because my father was one of 10 children, and they all told this story with such reverence for that judge.

6:20My father, every time he discussed this judge, here's how he described him, that great white-haired Irish judge. A great white-haired Irish judge. Why was he great? Was he kind to your grandmother? My grandmother got up and said, here's the money. the judge said to my father and are you going to interpret for your mom and he says yes he says tell your mother that i'm going to send her husband home and i want him her to cook him a good meal he's a good man and he had one bad day and i'm not going to keep him here but i want her i want you to go home with him and take care of him wow that one episode changed the view of justice with all 10 children.

7:03I heard that story when I was a kid. It changed my view from the time I was a youngster. I always remember that story. And interestingly, in Providence, an area of immigrants, particularly Latin American, and I could review that story a thousand times over with those that came before me. But I always remembered the impact that it had on my family. that upbringing of yours this is interesting for people to hear just perspective because you don't hear this anymore everything on instagram now is get your lamborghini be a rich guy you know get on the boat and sell the dream you know and you said you know the way you grew up you're poor and you actually called that a privilege do you really mean that and if you do mean it what was the privilege of being poor it's true i did i did have the privilege of being brought up poor because I appreciated, because of my upbringing with both parents, you know, who are immigrants, the fabric of America and the riches that we have here, not so much in money, but in what we're entitled to and how we're treated.

8:13And my father constantly preached that, about what a great country this was and that we had opportunity. And I can remember, you know, just simple little things that he, when I was 10 years old, he said to me, someday you're going to be a lawyer. And it was like an edict, you know, from above. I never wanted to be anything else but a lawyer from the time I was 10 years old. Did you ever think when you were going to become a lawyer that you'd end up being a judge? I mean, there was no internet at the time, but I mean, did you have a sense that that's something that maybe your life mattered, that you wanted to have an impact in the world?

8:50That was not one of my goals. It never dawned upon me. You have to understand, we lived in what they call a cold water flat, which means we didn't have hot running water. And it was just the fact that I was going to be a lawyer was so monumental to me. So we never went to the next step. After that, what was going to happen? But it happened naturally, obviously. So imagine it's midnight. You're on the couch. You're scrolling through this new website, hitting the add to cart button. and you decide to check out, but you remember that your wallet or your credit card is in the other room and you don't want to get off the couch, that's okay, you don't need to because there's that big iconic purple shop button.

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11:13You know when I would watch your clips? by the way I watch very few things on social media so you're all over my social media feed because I clicked on these clips of you all the time I feel like I really know you very well and um you know I wanted to ask you this isn't in the book but it's something I'm just curious about you have kept since that story you learned as a little boy about the judge and your family you've kept this uh i'd call it like an outlook on humanity that is favorable and positive and loving this is a hard question frank but i'm curious sir that's got to be hard you know and you're in a courtroom so you're mainly seeing people who are accounting for one of their bigger mistakes in their life you're not seeing them on their best day necessarily and in the world today you know, in social media or TV, it's, it's just so much negativity all the time that it can sour you on people, you know, on life.

12:12And I don't think anybody would blame you as a judge day after day, hearing people's stories of, you know, why they've made this mistake or committed this crime. How did you, or did you keep this outlook that people are good in general and that we should treat them well? I was very fortunate that it wasn't only my father, it was my mother as well. you know my mother was known in the neighborhood for feeding people that were hungry if you were hungry come to my house don't worry you get a nice meal and it was always like let's help other people but i was saying that but uh anyone that was in distress would stop by our house and and they were they were helped uh my father one of his jobs was he was a milkman he'd wake my brother and i up at four in the morning to go to work on the truck Oh, yeah.

13:01If you don't want to do this the rest of your life, make sure you stay in school. But I learned something from that. If someone could not pay their milk bill, the company had a policy that after three weeks you stopped delivery. That was their policy. His policy was if they had children, he would never stop the milk. He didn't care what the company policy was. And many times he'd take money out of his own pocket and say they're making an effort to pay. Oh, my gosh. So these were the examples that I saw, you know, by way of example, these weren't speeches that were given to me. So it wasn't a situation where I was given a speech saying, do A, and my parents did B, you know, never made the speech.

13:41All they did was they, they did, they did A. I've always said with parents, a lot of the things with our parents, it's caught, not taught. We catch it because we see it from them. It's different than hearing a speech like some guy like me could give from a stage or something like that. I was thinking about all the stories. By the way, his book, you guys, I want to make sure that I give him proper credit for this book. By the way, his nickname is America's Nicest Judge. But the book is called Compassion in the Court, Life-Changing Stories from America's Nicest Judge. He's just one of America's kindest people.

14:15There he is. He's holding. And I want to make sure you've learned that you've learned the social media game for sure. I want to make sure that you guys all get this because these are lessons that, you know, they're timeless. And in a time like we're in today, they're mandatory. And the other thing I like about you, you're transparent. You're not perfect. You've made mistakes in your life as well. And I was thinking about. About your first day as a judge. and you have a story from that day, your very first day, that I think you tended to regret a little bit of something from that day and I think it just goes to show you that you can learn lessons in life if you don't handle things perfectly the first time too, if you wouldn't mind sharing that story.

14:55My first day on the court, I asked my dad if he would come down. I'm a judge now. I want my dad to see me up on the bench. Sure. And this woman came in. She had three or four kids. I'm not sure how many. And she had traffic violations of somewhere around$300 to$400. And she was the most arrogant person you can imagine. So she said, she's in the court. I'm trying to help her. And she says, I just can't pay it. I'm not paying it. I don't have the money. You know? And the more I try to help her, the more arrogant she became. And so then she became arrogant. And I became a little upset. And I fined her the full fine.

15:39I gave her penalties. I gave her everything. And now the court is over, and I'm so proud of myself. You know, my dad was there on my first day as a judge. And I was in my judge's chambers, and I said to the bailiff, bring my dad in, please. I want to talk to him. So I'm all smiling. Dad, how did I do? He looked at me. He says, how did you do? How did you do? He said, that woman. I said, what woman? The woman that had the three or four kids. He says, how could you do that? You can't do that to people. I said, she was so arrogant. She was rude. He said, she was scared. He said, do you know now that maybe she can't feed her kids tonight?

16:22Maybe she can't pay her rent. Maybe she can't pay one of her bills. They'll turn the electricity off. You can't treat people that way. You weren't brought up that way. Rude. that set the stage for my entire judgeship that first day on the bench with my dad giving me giving me hell that is a great story I was telling my wife I was going to be here today it's like I haven't seen you this excited in a while you know and uh I said it's just someone that I admire and um one thing my dad had my dad was a my dad was a recovering alcoholic by the judge. So he ended up being sober for 35 years. So I saw two dads.

17:01I saw the dad that wasn't living so good. And then I saw the dad that was, but no matter whether he had been drinking or not drinking, he was always giving and kind. And, um, I think what I admire in you is I see the best of my dad in you. And I want you to talk about something. I'll say it. And then you tell me if I'm wrong, but my dad, when I'd see people, it was a homeless guy on the street and I'm a little boy, I go, dad, that guy's got two arms and two legs. Like, why isn't he out getting a job for his family? Or why has he got his kids? And no matter what the situation was ever, my dad would say, Eddie, put yourself in their shoes, try to walk in their shoes.

17:40And I don't think I've really even done a very good job of that in my life. I mean, maybe as I've gotten older, I have, but you seem to me to almost when you're talking to someone or hearing their case or just interacting, you put yourself in their shoes well am i right about that you're smiling so i was just about ready to give you that answer and that's exactly what i did i always placed myself in the shoes of the person that was before me you know because that first case in the court when my father chastised me you know taught me so much and he went on explaining to me you know you don't know what their life is like.

18:18Maybe she can't feed her kids tonight and so forth. And those were his words. Put yourself in her shoes. And I never forgot that. And I try to follow that as long as I was on the bench. Did you ever go through a time in your life, Judge, honestly, where you had, you seem to be egoless almost. And I'm sure that there have been times in your life where, you know, as a young man in your 30s or 40s or 50s and you're the prime of your career and And you're probably doing very well as a lawyer or whatever it was. Have you always been humble? Or is this something you've had to work on? Because there's people listening to the show, frankly, that they're starting to have some success.

18:55And when you start to have some success or a couple bucks or some notoriety, you can begin to feel pretty good about yourself. Did you ever go through a season like that? And was there ever a time that you had to be reminded of where you come from? Have you always held on? You're laughing again. So I guess there's an answer. Well, you know, my dad would wake my brother and I up at four in the morning to help him on the milk truck. He would say, if you don't want to do this the rest of your life, you better stay in college. You better go to college. And then I saw how he treated people who couldn't pay their milk bill.

19:28Even though his company was a major company, would demand that after a period of time, two or three weeks, if they didn't pay the bill, that he was ordered to stop the milk. That was their rule. His rule was if they had children, he never stopped the milk. And many times he'd put money out of his own pocket and say they're trying to pay. But he never gave me lessons in saying this is how you treat people and this is how you treat people. But he did it by way of example. So I lived that. I saw how my dad treated people. I saw how my mom treated people. She fed people that were hungry. So all of that was the great learning experience for me.

20:06But it wasn't a situation where I would sat down and said, okay, now, this is how you treat people.

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21:33What makes a good life? What makes a good life for you? A good life is service to others. That's a good life. Self-grandizement is not a good life. Personal wealth is not a good life. But treating others with respect and dignity and helping when you can, that's a good life. That was right to the point. Is there ever a story in court that you, even to this day think of that brings you to tears someone in front of you that you thought my gosh this poor person is there one that stands out above others or a one that stands out well i have several well i'll tell you one woman came in and she couldn't pay her bill and she actually became a little arrogant and next thing i know she told me that her child had died the day before and so i i've had several situations like that so and my point is you know i know people have said to me the law is the law you know and that's it doesn't make any difference that's their rule my rule is you know i'm dealing with another human being and i take all of those factors into consideration you say compassion is action what does that mean well a lot of people talk compassion yeah but acting on compassion is something different you know if you see a person who's on their walk and they can't afford a meal for their family you tell everybody boy that poor family it's so terrible you know they they don't they can't feed their children that's that's not active compassion active compassion is you help them out when you look at uh not to be political, but so we're not going to be political here.

23:16I don't do that here, but I consider you like a leader. You led the courtroom when you were in it. And then, you know, hundreds of millions of views of clips of you. And a lot of people that watch my show or listen to it are leaders of a family or they're leaders of their business or they're aspiring leaders. And it just seems like compassion, kindness, empathy seems to be maybe not as rewarded or as acknowledged as a priority as it once was and should be. And it's not always the examples we see from either political party or around the world. I just wonder what you think makes a great leader.

23:59And I know that's not in the book, but it's a question I wanted to ask you because I consider you someone who's led in many different areas of your life. You've led your family, you've led in the courtroom, you've been a leader for people's emotions and the way they view the world on social media. We think makes a great leader. At the end of the day, we're judged by how we treat others. That's leading. And how we treat others is doing, it's by way of example. And that's how we treat others. I know so many instances where people preach one thing and treat people differently, you know? and I see it on the bench, unfortunately, with judges, that happens, you know, but I think at the end of the day, how we treat other people is really how we're going to be judged.

24:45When you read your work, there's a lot of family in it and I'll tell you a thing on my dad I wanted to ask you about. I wish I could ask my dad this and I can't, so I'm asking you. As I got older, I would look at my dad and he didn't have a lot of friends. He had some, but not a lot and I used to think, you know, how do you get through life if I'm not have 85 or 90 or a hundred friends, you know, like how, how is that? This is when I was younger. And then, uh, I asked my dad, I said, dad, how come you don't have any friends? He goes, you know, Eddie friends are important, but family's different.

25:14And, and, uh, family is what you're going to have as you get older. Maybe there's a few friends that are chosen family, but it's family. And it makes me emotional to say this to you. But as I've gotten older, my friend circle is shrunk considerably. There's, there's not as many that are there forever. they're there for a season in life and there's just these values in life that i feel like were more centrist 40 50 60 years ago which was family and no one seems to not be talked about anymore and i'm reading your book and i'm like family this family this you know your dad in the book is in there throughout and and your mom and i'm just wondering what you would say to us listening to these wise words about the importance of family.

26:03The basic unit of society is the family unit. There's no question about that. And our first teachers in life are our parents. They're teaching us by way of example on how they treat other people. At the end of the day, we're judged not by how much money we make, but by how much we help others. That's basically what it's all about. Service to others. You think Tup would be proud of you? I hope so. I know that... Tup is his dad, by the way. He was proud of me the first day I came to court. I'm not sure about after that. No, he was very proud of me. Tup was a very unique individual. He would help anybody and everybody.

26:46That was his life. His motto was be of service to others. Well, I think he's damn proud of you. Next up is a little song from CarMax about selling a car your way. You wanna sell those wheels You wanna get a CarMax instant offer So fast Wanna take a sec to think about it Or like a month Wanna keep tabs on that instant offer With OfferWatch Wanna have CarMax pick it up from your driveway You wanna get it done to it You wanna do it all So, wanna drive? CarMax, pickup not available everywhere Restrictions and fee may apply I know our time's limited but I want to ask you about cycles. You know, they run through families too.

27:30And I assume, you know, when you're in court, there's some through lines that are common. Not always, but poverty, addiction, trauma, stress. You've seen a lot of that. What do you think can break that cycle more powerfully than a courtroom or a law can? Is there something that can break through those cycles? I've said earlier, the basic unit of society is the family unit, and that's where it all comes from. It's very difficult to be exposed as a youngster in the early years of your life, to be exposed and seeing certain behavior. You know, that's not good. And then all of a sudden, you don't treat people that way.