Robin Sharma on Living Life on Your Own Terms

0:28So, hey, guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now?

0:33this is the Ed Myron Show all right welcome back to the show everybody today's gonna be awesome um I get a chance to share time with uh someone who's had a deep impact on my life you know I feel so close to this man yet we've only been in person together once it's this it's the most interesting relationship and connection um I've had it many many years with somebody I love his work. And I have a lot to learn today myself. I told him before we started, this is for everybody else today, but I have some of my own questions as well. He's got a new book out called The Wealth Money Can't Buy. And he, I guess I'd call him a thought leader, a humanitarian.

1:13I'd also call him just kind, brilliant, and someone that I admire because he has started to live life on his own terms. And that takes a lot of courage when you're as successful as he is. And so Robin Sharma, welcome back, brother. It's so good to have you. My brother, Ed, you are such a kind soul yourself, and I honor you for inspiring the lives of millions of people. And your humility is so special, and I want to acknowledge you for that as well. It's amazing to see you. It's amazing to see you. And he's in the midst of a tour right now. He's very, very busy. So I have so many things I want to ask you about because it's the book itself about the wealth that money can't buy.

1:58The reason it's so profound is about everything we see in our culture now is about the wealth money can buy. And that's become our idol for the most part in our culture. And I want to talk about that and pick that apart first. But first thing I want to cover is I think in order to understand what you want in life, you have to understand why you are the way you are. And so one of the things you list in the book is the Penham principle. I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. And if I am, why don't we start today with you explaining to us about us, because I think that's what this does. Well, you know, Ed, we fall into a human trap and we think we see the world as it is, but we see the world as we are.

2:37So Joseph Campbell had this idea of the stained glass window. We all look through our experiences and our programming through a perceptual filter. And so right now we can see the poly crisis and the wars and the challenges and the cost of living crisis. Yet we can also see beauty and we can see wonder. We can see opportunity. We can see the chance for service. So the Pennem principle, first, the first form of wealth in the book. These are the five forces that make us us, that make you, you make me, me. Number one, P, Pennem, our parents. When we were little kids, our parents taught us how the world worked.

3:21And so that early programming stays with us through our lifetime unless we rewire it. Our parents could have said money doesn't grow on trees. Be reasonable. Don't trust whatever. And we pick up all these programs. So the P stands for parents. Second, the E in Penham. Our ecosystem or our environment. We become our environment. You look at the information we allow into our minds, the information diet. It steadily transforms us, upgrades us, or degrades us. The N is our nation. If you're from a war-torn nation, that's going to affect the perceptual filter through which you see the world. The A, our associations.

4:03We become our conversations. Everyone we have met in our lives have left some form of an imprint subconsciously, either positively or negatively within us. Everyone. So our associations, all it takes is one conversation with someone whose life we want to be living to help us enter a secret universe of possibility we never knew was there. A secret universe of possibility. That's so good. All it takes is one idea to reframe the way we see the world. That's the power of reading, the power of listening to a podcast, the power of a mentor, the power of a mastermind, the power of stripping out the energy vampires and dream stealers from our life.

4:44And then the M in the Penem principle, the five forces that shaped us, is media. Look at the subtle messaging and the not-so-subtle messaging we are receiving from influencers, from the media, from advertisers, constantly in a torrent. And whether we want to admit it or not, it shapes the way we see the world and shapes the way we feel and shapes the way we show up. Gosh, it's so true. One of the things I like about the way that Robin writes, and it makes it difficult to interview him because there's so many good points, but he writes very small chapters. And so when you read his work, you're like, that's the question I want to ask him.

5:23That's the question. There's so many of them. And he gets right to the point. It's very strategic. I love your writing style, and I love your thinking style. And so I kind of want to build on a progression. But because of the way that I read the book, we're going to skip around, guys. We're going to kind of just bring you value, but not in any real order or sequence. And so, but once we understand why we are the way we are, there's some simple things you say in there that I think bear repeating and some expansion. So one thing you say is you say, small steps make giant gains. And I think what most people think in life is like, I got to make some major move to change things.

6:03But you make the point in the book that, hey, a small step can make a huge difference. Sure. What you do daily, the tiny things are so much more powerful than the big things you might do annually. So I've had a brain tattoo that I've used for years, and it's small daily, seemingly insignificant improvements when done consistently over time, lead to stunning results. Now we can go more granular on that. Your days are your life in miniature. And that was one of my intentions today. Like just give a fire hose of value to Ed's global community. your days are your life in miniature so don't worry about the weeks or the quarters of the years focus on this day and if you can get those micro wins and also create perfect moments and also make some steady progress towards your personal mount everest you had a great day but here's the larger point the days become weeks the weeks become months the months become years so your days are your life in miniature is a very key point and what i would add to that is if you look at a great company they were built not by revolution it wasn't one strategic objective that made apple it was built by evolution yeah those small little optimizations those opportunities to be a merchant of wow those little innovations the little details and the same with human life how do you build a great human life consistency is the mother of mastery little wins tiny triumphs done consistently over time all lead you to to a life you'll be super proud of at the end and i think last thing i'd say about that is that's the power of connecting to your mortality i think as human beings we are the great postponers we will create these wonderful days consistently we will install great habits we will dream bigger dreams so we become impossibilitarians when the kids get older, when we have more time, when there's an ideal period for that.

8:13And yet, you know, connecting to the shortness of life and your mortality, if you can do that as part of your morning ritual, and I have some tools to share as we move through our time together that will help your viewers and listeners do that. But just keeping your death and the shortness of life front and center is not negative. I think it's hugely inspirational because then you live to the point. I totally agree with you. I've had some health challenges. My audience knows this last little while. And one of the tremendous blessings of it is a heightened awareness of your mortality, heightened awareness of how blessed you are to be here today.

8:51And it causes me anyway, to be a much more present person, much more inquisitive. It's brought me actually more peace. And one of the things in the book, I find myself when I read some of your stuff, like I'm talking about it. Right. And so I was actually talking to my attorney of all people about one of the things you just said. Because of your mortality, you know, sometimes life can end up being a collection of beautiful moments. At the end of our life, I think we're going to reflect on some of the most beautiful moments of our life. And you just referenced it a minute ago. But I mean, this is going to be awesome, everybody.

9:24But you, in the book, talk about how to become a perfect moment creator. And it is some of the best work I've ever read in personal development in my life. So let's give them that gift. Well, that's great praise and generosity coming from you. So, you know, a lot of people, I've mentored billionaires for over 15 years. I've been in the field 31 years. And a lot of these people are cash rich and they're life poor. and some of the most valuable if not the most valuable things in life have very little to do with things i was blessed a few weeks ago i had a dinner with my 86 year old father ed and my my mother and we just sat there and we told stories and we laughed and And, you know, it almost brings tears to my eyes, but that is worth more than a large stock portfolio and all the gold on the planet.

10:26But our society has enculturated us and hypnotized us and mesmerized us into hustle and grind towards a mountaintop of financial success. And as you know, there's a whole, that's one of the eight forms of wealth in the wealth money camp. But to your point about be a perfect moment creator comes from a true story. And Eugene O 'Kelly was the global CEO of KPMG, the accounting behemoth. And one day he went into his doctor's office waiting for the results of a routine medical. And the doctor returned with an expression you never want to see on your doctor's face when you're waiting for the results of a routine medical.

11:06Long story short, the doctor said, you've got 90 days left to live. You have inoperable brain cancer. and sadly he passed away roughly 90 days after that but what he realized is in all his years as a corporate titan he had never taken the time to take his wife to lunch all his years as a global mogul he had missed christmas concerts and in all his years as a financial master he had never taken long walks in central parks park with his best friends and so what he decided to do is use the strategy and the tools that made him so successful in business. And he applied them to his last 90 days, which I think was gorgeous, brilliant, and very wise.

11:53And so he reversed engineered his last 90 days. That was his, that was his quest. Let me reverse the last 90 days of my life to make them the greatest 90 days I've ever had. And part of that was, I want to be a perfect moment creator and create these magical, unforgettable, priceless moments with the people who matter most. And that simple idea caused me to take my kids swimming with the dolphins in Mauritius. It caused me to take them to the Mona Lisa in the Louvre, you know, where they were like, Daddy, it's such a small painting. I can't believe it. And if we could only in the midst of our busy days look for ways to create magical and perfect moments, we would start filling our days with a wealth money can't buy.

12:47Yeah. So profound. So true.

12:55So, hey guys, as you know, I've partnered up with my good friend, Brennan Brouchard, who's created the greatest personal development system that has ever been designed called Growth Day. There's everything from journaling to accountability programs, live messages every Monday from myself and other influencers. There's an opportunity for you to get courses that would cost thousands of dollars completely for free. It's incredible. Go to growthday.com forward slash ed and check it out. And you and I are blessed to know a lot of people with a lot of money. And you call it in the book, you actually call it like the Howard Hughes complex almost.

13:32And you make two points in the book. I just let you talk about it a little further. I always want to dig a little deeper on this because I'm going to ask you about you. But you say in the book, why does our culture worship a billionaire and not a school teacher? That's a quote right out of the book. And I started to think about that. In my family, I'm not a billionaire, but I've become very wealthy. and I have a sister who's a school teacher. But I just think to myself, culturally, most people would probably want to hear more of what I have to say. Yet, I don't know on that perfect moment thing whether or not she's had a few more than her brother.

14:02And if life is a measurement of those perfect moments, I think she may be wealthier than me. And so I don't want to move past this point. Hustle and grind is great, everybody. Building wealth and being poor is no fun. And so getting your family financially independent is an admirable goal. but to get there with none of these moments because i think most people think don't you robin if i get all this money i can create more of the moments because those moments cost money but the truth is most of those moments don't cost money so just tell them the how i i went on and on there because it's so deeply affects me but um talk about the howard hughes principle a little bit there where everyone an empty house syndrome well one of one of the chapters so i want to just give some context.

14:46The book is based on eight forms of wealth. And the fifth form of wealth is money. And there's 25 chapters deconstructing exactly how the billionaires do it. So I don't think either of us are saying that money is not important, which food on the table allows you to have amazing experiences, allows you to do great things for your loved ones. It allows you to be of service to people in need. So it is one of the eight forms of wealth. But there are other seven other forms of wealth. And you're right. I think you hit the nail on the head, which is you hear someone introducing someone and they say, wow, we have an amazing person in the house today.

15:22They have just had a liquidity event and exited for a billion dollars. You don't often say here, whoa, we have an amazing host on today. He's a ski instructor that helps little kids fall in love with nature. You don't hear people say, ladies and gentlemen, we have a Titan in the room today. We have a gardener from down the street who doesn't have a lot of financial wealth, but they love their roses and they keep our community beautiful. Wow. You don't see on the front page of a magazine, here's who we should pedestal today. It's the firefighter or the police officer. who risked their lives to protect our loved ones.

16:09And so I'm not saying we don't celebrate the billionaire. You and I both know the grit, the wisdom, the suffering, the sacrifice, the discipline, the service, et cetera, et cetera, that is required to get to a very high place financially. That's why I think it's important to celebrate the value creators. We celebrate the entrepreneurs. These are the people who take these are the in part the heroes. What I'm also trying to say in the wealth money camp by is may we not forget the gardener, the barista, the taxi driver and the other heroes who are living rich life. One of the richest people I've ever met was my ski instructor.

16:55When I was in my 40s, I had this idea to become a level one ski instructor. So I hired this person to do it. And I think he was one of the richest people I've ever met. He had rosy cheeks. We had the best conversations. He would read great literature. He had a wife who adored him, family who cherished him. And he spent his days in the mountains. And he said to me one day going up on the chairlift, he said, Robin, us ski instructors aren't rich, but we have rich lives. So good. I have a friend here, Robin. I moved to Florida. a, he's become a friend and he retired in his, uh, I think it was his early sixties.

17:34And, uh, he always says, QTR, Ed, QTR, QTR. And I finally asked him, what is it? He said, quality time remaining. And he said that to me because I had turned 50 and I've had a couple of health issues. And he's like, man, do you remember, you know, quality time remaining? And I told him, I said, brother, I wish someone said that to me when I was 20. It didn't need to wait till I was 50 at 20 years old. You ought to be thinking about how much quality time remaining do you have to your point about mortality? You know, how many more Mondays do you have? How many more Septembers do you get? How many more summers do you have?

18:03And to make those quality time. And by the way, we both, I'm wealthy. You've become successful. People that get wealthy create opportunity for other people as well. So it's a form of wealth that you can share. So believe me, financial wealth is awesome. But I don't want to get there without the quality moments. okay this is for you and I now a lot of you may not know this about Robin but Robin Robin does very very well but in my estimation financially Robin could even do better if he decided to pursue that and one of the things I admire about you I said early on I want you to really dig into this brother is that you live life on your terms and so Robin bought an Italian farmhouse and just kind of said this is where I'm going to go do in my life I'm going to go have an adventure which we'll that decision.

18:49Like at some point, cause you could have kept, you still go, but you could have made another, that probably cost you a couple million dollars a year. I would figure from the pace you could have been on the things you could have been doing. So you chose purposely to some extent to live it on your terms at one point, almost like that was my dream, but I've reevaluated it. And my dream is still to serve, but I also want these other things. Can you just talk about that decision that you made? And am I right about that? I mean, That had to be a hard decision. And it's what I'm evaluating right now.

19:20Like, when do I determine that I need to pivot on my dream a little bit and identify what feels good now? Go ahead. I would say joy is your GPS. I would say your instinct is so much more powerful than your intellect. Intellect says, let me do all these things to succeed in the world. Here's what's logical. Your instinct is your wisdom. your instinct will say, Ed, it's time to do this. And so for me, I lived in a certain city for over 30 years. And I do believe that the discomfort of growth is always less dangerous than the illusion of safety. Maybe I should mention that again, because I think it might be important for all of us.

20:07The discomfort of growth is always less dangerous than the illusion of safety. And so I had a really nice setup, Ed. And yet one day, about three years ago, my life partner, Elle, and I packed up our little Chihuahua Yorkie, and we hopped on a plane with three suitcases, sold my house, sold a lot of my things, and moved into, showed up at the Rome airport, by the way, and lost our luggage. And yet we moved into this old farmhouse, totally new culture in Tuscany, didn't know the language. And I just think life is about an adventure. It's one of the, it's the seventh form of wealth I talk about in the book.

20:52Like if you lost the sparkle in your eyes, if you lost, don't ever lose that childlike heart. I mean, I think find worldly success without a joyful heart is fool's gold. And so we left everything because I think growth is important. I think an adventure is important. And to your point about mortality, I have a metric, which is if I'm lucky and I do biohacking and I try to take care of myself, et cetera, I'm very healthy, but if I'm lucky, I'll live 25 more years. So I have this decision matrix, and I call it my 25 summer question. And so before I make a decision, I say, you know, I have 25 summers left.

21:34Is this really very important? And I also, you know, I've been in this field for a long time. And more than ever, I realized that elite performance without deep renewal is an empty victory. And so I think, you know, we are, you're right, We are in a hustle and grind world. And I think it's like there's a lot of pressure, write a lot of books, do a lot of content, build a lot of businesses. Well, I think it's better to be a minimalist versus a maximalist. And I would rather build one Sistine Chapel ceiling or write one catcher in the rye or create one moonlight sonata that stands the test of time versus hustle and grinding every day for the rest of my life.

22:23And I guess what I'm suggesting is time off is necessary to do your best work. And it also allows you to enjoy the fruits of your labor. So good. You actually called this, you make another suggestion in the book. And by the way, I know when we're listening or watching, you can say, well, I wish I had the financial luxury to sell a house and move to Tuscany. I get that. But what, what version of that could be yours? What adventure could you go on that doesn't require money, that does require a bold decision? Maybe that adventure is to actually start a business you've always thought about starting.

22:53Maybe it's to write that book or that song or paint that painting or whatever it is. So your version of the adventure, because I think we become very routine. I think we become very habitual and we're just, we're going to get around to making moments and memories. And I think folks use today's conversation between Robin and I as a catalyst for you to make the decision that you're going to go on an adventure of some type and just decide you're going to do that. Were you going to say something there, Robin? Cause I wanted to ask you about that. I'm happy to say something about it. There's one chapter towards the end of the book called Go Ghost for a Year.

23:28That's where I was going. You just read my mind. Go Ghost for a Year. Tell them about it. That's where I was going. Yeah, Go Ghost for a Year. I mean, it's your life and life is short and don't live it on someone else's terms. And it is stunning how powerful every human being is. And the fears you do not face become your limits. And so go ghost for a year is just a concept, which is take one year and go dark, leave your phone at home, metaphorically speaking. And if you've always wanted to go to Japan or Medellin or Sweden or Mumbai or Goa, take one year of your life and go take the classics and go to that place and learn to meditate and read the beautiful literature and listen to music so beautiful it brings tears to your eyes and watch the sunsets just like i watched last night and and and pray and journal and get to know who you want to be and reverse engineer like eugene o 'pelly the last 75 years of your life and then come back into the world from the wilderness born anew powerful and intimate with your gifts and your talents and your values and what you want to stand for and be a force of nature.

24:49And if you can't do it for a year, we all understand. We all have responsibilities. Then do it for six months. If you can't do it for six months, do it for a quarter. Can't do it for a quarter, do it for a month. And if you can't do it for a month, do it for a week or even a day. But going ghost on a consistent basis is incredibly powerful for becoming the person that you've always wanted to be. Unbelievably true. and everyone I want you to hear that back the last part maybe it can't be a year maybe it's a weekend right maybe it's a day or maybe you start doing it in little increments but you've got a goal to five years from now go ghost for a year I have to tell you because of some of the health stuff I've been through I'm sort of in the middle of that ghost year I'm not posting on social media doing my podcast kind of virtually now I'm not traveling speaking quite as much and I have found myself again already a month and a half into it now but I feel like in my case I've sort of sticked my toe in it I think I need to do it I think I need a year where I just recalibrate and rest and really do very little at 53 I'm 53 this Saturday I've worked basically every day of my life for the most part most every day you know there's exceptions there's a vacation here or there but not that many and so I love this suggestion everybody and I think it's something that you should take very, very seriously.

26:13The other thing he has in the book, he's so detailed. He calls it the virtuoso algorithm. And I'll let you elaborate a little bit on that. And then I'm going to tie that into another thing. But I told you guys, when I love an author, I read every word of their work. And these are the things in the book that affected me. And that's why I'm asking Robin to share them with you. So what is the virtuoso algorithm? them? Well, it's a formula for turning your work into your craft. And what I would say is, until your job becomes your mastery, your business will never morph into a movement. And I think one of the greatest opportunities, I think right now, hard work has a bad name.

26:55And no one's saying hustle and grind and work 24-7. Yet, if you look at any great one, any great artist, any great athlete, any great entrepreneur, these people have put in the sweat equity. So it's a deconstruction of how virtuosos do it. But, you know, I just wanted to say one thing that intuitively, you know, this idea of going ghost for a year, I just, as your friend, I think it would be so great for you to do it. And can I ask you a few questions about this? May I? Yes, of course. there was any place on the planet you would love to go to for three months or even a year without even thinking about it much where would you go i bought a place i bought an island in maine i'd be on my island i would be there that's one that's an easy answer i picture myself there um very kind of isolated a little bit alone it's big enough though that i'm not you know squeezed into a corner but uh i'm blessed that i was able to buy that dream place but i haven't to enjoy it.

27:57And aside from that, if I couldn't, I'd be in Tuscany. That'd be the second place I'd go. I'd be your neighbor. That sounds like a dream to me. I like that. He sent me some videos, you guys, in the morning where he's in this little village sipping his coffee at breakfast, you know, and I'm getting on an airplane to go give three speeches that day, you know, and I'm like, yeah, that looks pretty good over there, brother. So I think both of those come to mind. well first of all as they say in Italy we're waiting for you so I hope I hope you will come because we are waiting for you and I hope you do it I mean I really hope you take a year and and do all the things you've wanted to do uh and if you can bring your family of course and bring the book always wanted to read and and it is you know there's there's a Japanese novelist and his name is Murakami.

28:48And he actually said something really interesting. He said, when you're not writing your book, your next book is writing itself. And we often forget that time off is necessary for peak creativity. And that time in Tuscany or that time on Highland, that's when your best ideas are going to incubate. And so maybe that's one way that I can encourage you to do it, which is it's not only incredible for renewal and spiritual salvation and all those great things. It will be so good for your creativity and taking your game, which is a super high game, but to a whole new level. Thank you. Well, I need that encouragement.

29:33I think also just give feedback to everybody too. There's times in your life where I think your soul and your spirit is screaming at you to do something, whatever it is. It could be to slow down. It could be to speed up. It could be to contact somebody. And I can say that in my case, my body and my spirit, it's been screaming at me to do this. Not a whisper anymore. I whispered for a while, three, four, five years ago, I was whispering and I ignored the whisper. I heard it, but I'm like, I'll get to you. I'll get to you. I get to you. And now it's going now, now. Right. And so I think when it gets to that point and whatever it is in your life, uh, it listened to your intuition, Listen to your discernment.