The Most Overlooked Habit of Highly Successful People!

25:29And I think that's true. Like in business, we have to become that person too. So tell them about how you did that and what you were thinking. You know, I would, I would almost equate it the same way that I was saying earlier, where I was just doing all of this like different stuff thinking that one was going to show me the way I would think that I I was thinking like eventually I would find the right woman that would make the right man you know like make you the right right you know what I mean like that sort of idea and I I just knew that that the same time of sort of this this revolution of mindset of like no you need to start to be the person that you want to be and I think that ultimately it allowed me to to create the narrative and and the storyline of like this if the perfect woman for me should love the way that I am not wish that I could change to be the way they wish I was if you will Right.

26:36And to me, I tried to be to create that in all aspects of life. So when I did finally found her, because God brought her right to me, you know what I'm saying? It was like, man, it was like like I did a year of like really in this like deep mindset, kept telling every one of my friends, you have got to you have got to be like this. If you want to find great love, you've got to prepare yourself for great love, which I mean, I was like preaching it. And they were just, so when she showed up, they were like, it worked. It wasn't like, it wasn't like, Oh Rob, like he's a, I preached it so loud and so pure to like every single one of them on how they needed to act.

27:19And if you really wanted to, and it was, it was, I kid you not every single one of my friends, I had preached it so much that when like I, it, I would introduce her as it, it happened. You know what I mean? like it really like like can you believe like and i and the trippiest thing about it is you know you there's all these expectations and thoughts and excitement that comes into like thinking you met the one right now let reality set in right like oh it's this and imagine now the opposite is the reality of your love and life is actually 10 times better than you could have ever envisioned when you laid out the most perfect scenario.

28:09You're such a good guy too. You know, the other thing you won't say about yourself, but everybody that knows you, that knows me, is just the first thing they don't tell me is about your brilliance or your success. It's not the first thing they tell me. I say, he's just such a good man. He cares about people so much. And that's why this is so real and which is ultimately you want that you know what i mean like you also like like you want that to be part of your reputation and ultimately why people respect you you know i mean i want to be respected for like being like the man the father the husband the family man like someone working i want like to be respected for the way that i live life and the type of person I am as opposed to what I simply achieved.

28:53Yeah. I think you are. I think you're becoming that. And I'm proud of you. And we're just getting to know each other. I want you to do one thing for me, though. I want them to know this about you. I think all people should be. I think people matter. Things don't. Right. I have that philosophy. And I think you're amazing at like creating moments. And I'm not talking about like shark attacks and jockey and a horse or anything. I'm talking about like life moments. Like you're conscious of creating moments. So within this structure of your life, which you are like in your businesses, you're very systematized.

29:23You're very, you need that. You want that. Yet you have this complete freedom to have all these magic moments. So like just real quick, I'm going to go through a couple with you that I just know about. Like your first date with Brianna wasn't even normal. Didn't you like go rescue puppies or something on a first date? Like, is that right? Yeah, look, so look, I mean. You take this for granted. That's not a normal first date. Look, no, you don't know. That wasn't it wasn't intended to be that way. It was, you know, just just taking a shot. Right. Yeah. And we had we had we met via DM on Twitter.

29:58The modern way that love formed. And she was posting about like these like, you know, a big thing that had been going on is like this kennel was getting they're euthanizing all the dogs in Bakersfield. And so, you know, I was texting her and, you know, asking her, you know, would you like to hang out this weekend? You know, what do you have in mind to do? And so I was thinking it was in Ontario or somewhere close. I was thinking, let's go rescue these puppies. We can drive out there. And I'm like, ah, it's like six hours away. But I still, you know what? I was thinking we'd take a helicopter to Bakersfield to rescue these puppies.

30:39You know what I mean? Just being all like, you know, slick and funny. He's so funny. And like a half hour later, she was like, sure. Or no, she was like, perfect. And I'm like, what? I'm like, that was kind of a joke. And then I got to, can somebody get me a helicopter? And we never spoke on the phone, anything like, you know, first time we met was like, you know, like picked her up and drove straight to the airport and jumped in a helicopter and got to know each other by flying to Bakersfield to rescue some puppies. And look, and I was so deep. And now we're in a moment, okay? Now we're in a moment.

31:18And throughout that flight, I was like, not even a question. This is who I'm meant to marry and spend the rest of my life. So it's instant for me. So I'm like, since this is so instantaneous, I'm like, we got to get a puppy to remember this by. But it's still like first date. Like, you still want to try to get this puppy into this helicopter right now. Like, like the fact that we did not actually rescue a puppy that day. So you did not get a puppy that day. We did not. But then like you repeat this, like these moments, like, and by the way, there's dudes listening, oh, I can't afford a helicopter.

31:49Just do something special, man. Yeah. Just find a way to make a moment, make a memory, right? Take a walk. Yeah. You know, do something. I mean, look, I went, yeah. You just took another helicopter ride on your anniversary, though. Yeah. Much sketchier one that she was not happy with. Like when we get in this tiny, where I was like, I didn't even like think about the first one. When it was such a long trip, it was a more sizable, manageable one. We get in this, like, somebody's backyard copter. We take over there. But look, again, it's let's go have fun. Like, I am, my success is not predicated on trying to achieve some sort of financial milestone that I can do anything other than live an amazing life.

32:33and being able to surprise her with a helicopter trip to Catalina, having the kids taken care of, and she doesn't know what it is. And then this super unique adventure where we land on the top of a mountain. I don't know if you've ever been there, but you've got to land at an airport in the sky at 1 ,600 feet, then take a 40-minute drive down a sketchy road to get to the town. Super weird. And driving by Bison because they did a movie in the 20s and left all these bison over there. It was just this. it's Catalina right yeah yeah it's like have you ever have you ever been to the okay I've never helicoptered over look I've never been there I don't even know what it was but for us that should be what life's about yeah it's like go on go experience just a 12-hour adventure you know what I mean we left at four came back at eight the next morning had to take our daughter to the pediatrician I had to go do meetings all day right like it's amazing how you navigate these different spaces and it's such a fun great experience and i think not only do i set the precedent for it uh in our on our life and i'm you know whether it's like every every occasion i try to to put that level in you do it every morning into it every morning with your little ones right and like and i want to add those experiences long term for the kids too you know i mean like Like so that there are moments that they can look back and and that, you know, their dad is, you know, I'm not a normal dad.

34:02You know, I'm a little bit nutty, you know, in that how that ultimate, you know, I'm pretty disciplined and militant with with the children from a structure standpoint, which does include full fledged, full scale singing every single morning at like the highest level dancing. sometimes i'll make him just like dance before he gets out of bed you know like and hit him with the positive reinforcement of like been drilling in his head over and over he's happy i'm happy i'm happy strong strong smart smart healthy healthy um and just self-belief right of just you can do anything because you believe in you say i believe in me i believe in me right it's it's amazing it's let's give this them this beautiful house of love and peacefulness and then just try to and believe them to to have belief in themselves and and help nourish that because at the end of the day it's the only way you ever do anything right it's like even when people call it experience experience is just gaining knowledge to believe that you can go achieve something at a higher level right and and your only your pursuit why you stay in lanes that you fully understand because you believe you can do it because you understand it well enough right and when you take that step out to learn something new you you have to be sitting there with with some doubt on whether or not you could do it because you've never done it before you don't have a foundation of belief but if your life is about taking risks and you believe that you can figure anything out along the way you take that leap into that new thing in a system of how you create belief uh to make sure that you can irregardless of whatever that may be that's amazing people watching this two of the more successful entrepreneurs under the age of 50 in a room together and then like you know what do you do with your families he gets up every morning and sings with his i dance with my daughter every morning i show her a move in the 90s every morning i told you that and you do your sayings with your kids in mind with my son as you're a leader you're a gladiator you're the greatest of all time he's been hearing that since he was a little boy my daughter is that she's a superstar and she can do anything hugs not drugs i do these sayings everyone they're you know they're at the age where they roll their eyes now right but the fact is we both do these things where we do this wacky crap with our kids this episode is brought to you by progressive insurance fiscally responsible financial geniuses monetary magicians these are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds because progressive offers discounts for paying in full owning a home and more plus you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it so your dollar goes a long way visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates.

37:02Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

37:10When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at goodtoknowfacts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit goodtoknowfacts.org.

37:59And never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end-to-end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp. Message privately with everyone. Learn more at whatsapp.com. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Be sure to follow the Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. So my guest today really doesn't need an introduction, but I'm going to give him one. And I think he's the most feared football coach by other coaches on planet Earth today. Maybe in the history of college football, nobody wants to mess with this dude or play against him.

38:35Coach Prime, Deion Sanders, welcome to the show, my friend. Thank you for being here. And I love that introduction. We're recording this, so I'm going to wake up every morning. This is how I'm going to wake up every morning. I'm going to just play that intro, and then I'm going to get up. Yeah, he has this chapter in the book. I want you to get the book and read it, but he basically says, make confidence your natural odor. You just need to read this chapter, you guys, I'm confident. It's really – by the way, I read this book like this. Like I got it late and I read it like this. There's another thing I want to ask you about because I never really – I've heard these terms, but I don't even know the distinction between them.

39:10The next chapter in the book, he says, are you a leader or a dog? And this applies to life, not just football. What's the difference between a leader and a dog? See, coaching, you normally see the C on the chest and cap. I reserve that for the military. I reserve that for the police force and all that. And I have a heck of a respect. I don't think it should be a guy with C on his chest as a captain, especially now in the NFL. You've got a quarterback that has C on his chest. Now he's leaving because he wants to get paid more for another team. So how can your captain abort the ship and abort the plant?

39:46I don't like that. I have leaders and I have dogs. Every leader ain't a dog and every dog ain't a leader. I don't expect the dog to be the leader. And I don't expect the leader to be the dog. I expect you to be you. And just because you walk in the front and just because you talk the loudest and just because you make the most money, that don't make you a leader. A leader is that thing that you have that's infectious, that makes people want to follow you, that makes people want to listen to you, that makes people want to read your books, that makes people want to just find out more about you and Google you.

40:22That's that thing that you have that you don't have to walk in the front. You don't have to because when I played the game, believe it or not, I never made speeches to my teams I played for. I never called everybody up and said, okay, this is what we're going to do. I never did that. I led through action. And I led through consistency. I didn't lead vocally. I led through action and consistency because you got to understand, I was coming in football late because I was playing baseball. In baseball, I was one of the young guys because baseball players go up to age 40. I was still a young pup in most of the teams that I played for and playing two sports.

41:00So I wasn't there full-time as well. So I was never the guy that they would have put a C on his chest, but I was a leader. But the dog is that person that you never mistake a dog for a cat. You never mistake a dog for a person who won't swing first. You know, that dog is that guy who's going to swing first. Yeah, he's going to have one foot back. She's going to take her earrings off, and you know she's going to put Vaseline on her face, and you know she's ready. She brought some tennis shoes that they could get the grip. You're going to take off the hill. Like that's, that's the dog that he's ready to get down.

41:37No matter what he's a dog in life, you got to be both, man. And sometimes you got to be both. Sometimes when you call a meeting with your staff, not only you got to be a leader, but sometimes you got to be a dog. And some of us are equipped with being able to hit a switch and to be both, but some people are not, but you got to know who you are at this age and stage of your life. It would be, you would be a fool not to understand who you are. Hmm. I think I have a year of eligibility left. I don't know how many 52 year olds you're signing, but I would love, I probably still play strong safety or something.

42:11I would, I would rather do a damn wall right now. What is a, uh, but I just, I, I got to tell you, like, there's such substance to the book. Like he's obviously like this amazing communicator, but man, that's a separator in life. It's like, you can say all these pretty things, but at some point you got to walk it too. Right. Like you got to walk the walk as a leader. Right. And you think your kids pick up on this with you? Not just like, obviously you walk in a room, you've got cachet. You're the GOAT, right? So there's something to that. Like this is Coach Prime. And my God, you get the chance to be around the greatest of all time at something.

42:48But I got to think after like a month or two, you're the coach. Like they got to see you currently walking some type of a walk as a leader. And I feel like a lot of leaders, even parents, like, well, at one time I did this. So you should just learn everything I say now. Right. But I think you have to be relevant in your leadership currently as well. Right. Would you feel that way for you? 100 percent correct, because what I did is what I did. The day's kids are more into the now, like everything they're looking at on social media deals with the now. They may recollect and go through your page and see what you did yesterday, but they're only looking at that to establish the consistency.

43:29Are you that guy now that you were yesterday and the day before? So what people are looking for is reality because we have such a fake and a false world that everybody could go purchase what they want to look like they want to feel like they want to be who they want. Everybody could go purchase that now and everybody is attracted to authenticity, whether they believe it or not. And everybody is opposed to authenticity. whether they want it or not. Because the most successful music acts or celebrities that can sing or rap or whatever, they're authentic. We feel like we know them, like we can touch them and allow us to know that they've made mistakes.

44:15Nobody's looking for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect anymore. They're looking for flawed people that will stand up and say, you know what, I did that, man. That was me. Okay, that was me. I did that. I messed that up. But guess what? Guess what I learn from that mistake oh my god thank god that happened to me because i would never take that left again i'm just gonna stay right so if it wasn't for that left i wouldn't even know what the right i love the hate you know why i'm attracted to the hate because if it wasn't for the hate and i wouldn't know what love feels like i wouldn't know what love looks like i wouldn't know what love was about if i didn't receive the hate because i know that ain't love so this has to be wow when you get hate coach do you ever because you do get it you're lightning rod for it you even had another coach this year say some stuff that you leveraged it really well though we won't go we won't go into all that stuff that happened but like boy i was watching you the week of that game i'm like oh man thank god you won that game too but like i remember the week of that game going oh boy this dude made a huge mistake saying this stuff about coach prime and his mom.

45:19Do you ever though, look at that and distinguish hate from like valid criticism? Do you, do you ever listen to somebody that's being critical of you and go, Hey, any of this apply to me? Do I need to make a change here? Is that valid? Do you allow that to guide you at all or no? Why would I listen to my critics when my critics have critics? I'm going to listen to a critic Who has a line of critics Ain't no way Because some of those people Are criticizing you To just get your attention The last thing I heard about attention That you had to pay it You got to pay attention So that's a fee That's going to cost So if you're not going to pay That cost for my attention I'm not going to give it to you because my attention ain't free.

46:17My attention ain't free. My attention ain't free. You're going to have to pay. You're going to pay attention. Every time I do an interview, when I do an interview coach, I always go, that'll make a good Instagram clip. We've had like 11 of these already. Like in a good interview, you get like one, you're like, that's going to be the clip. I don't even know what clip I'm going to use in this thing right now. It's so damn good. What about your faith? Before the interview gets too far away, I want to ask you about your faith. I watched you as a player. I feel like there was just some point in your career, and I'd like you to talk about when it was or how it was.

46:55I mean, it certainly seems deeper to me now. Yeah, it is. That's why I tell people to be careful who you have as a role model because most of us were models just playing a role. I'm just giving you the picture that you wanted to see because it's really not me. I'm not prime time. I'm Dion. You don't care about Dion because you care about prime. So I got to give you prime. But the thing about it, both of them has an expiration date. And it's not, they don't equate to one of them. They're not going to die at the same time. One is going to die. The persona is going to die much quicker than the person.

47:37So what you're trying to kill is the persona because you don't really know the person. And I got lost trying to satisfy you all with the persona. And I began to be suicidal. I mean, I'm on the top of my game, on the top of the world, several different commercials. And how in the world can I be suicidal? How in the world can I not want to be here? Well, I was going through a tremendous divorce and my kids were stripped away from me. And those are the only two people that I felt like loved me. In my whole life, because it was genuine. Like, these are my kids. They came from me. I know they love me, because I know you don't.

48:13I know you don't. I know you don't. You love what I'm capable of doing for you, but you don't love me. You know why you don't love me? Because you don't know me. And let me go through this soliloquy so you understand right where we were, right where I was parked at the time. I'm in a 15 ,000 square foot house, but never feeling at home. I have hundreds and hundreds of suits But I can't cup up the pain I got 500 or more pair of shoes But I can't take a step in the right direction Several cars parked in the driveway Exotic from old 64 Chevys But I ain't going nowhere You mean I'm sleeping Between two and three women But nobody is satisfied And I'm sleeping on a$5 ,000 to$10 ,000 bed But I ain't getting no rest so you're going through all these emotions and all these challenges and you're just not happy like i'm three for four and i'm still going to commit suicide after the game so all this stuff came to a head where i finally had to get on my knees and say lord it take me man i can't do this no more i i can't i can't do it i i can't do it i can't stand it i can't stand the life and it's not that, see, I've never smoked in my life, Ed.

49:32I've never been high, never drank, never tasted alcohol, stopped using profanity when I was 19 years old. So it wasn't those vices. It was other vices, but it wasn't those vices. But I just didn't have peace and I didn't have joy. And I knew God was calling me, but I didn't want to be hypocritical because I despised that. Someone saying they this and not this. I despised that. So I was trying to clean up before I go to the Lord. It ain't no way you can clean up before you go to the Lord. You got to go to the Lord to get clean. I didn't know that. I didn't understand that. So finally, you know, after going through hell and child tribulation and attempting to commit suicide, I had to surrender and give it all to him.

50:17That was the place. But you know what broke me, what almost broke me and hurt me, that when I came out and told the world about this is what I was going through, this is what I was dealing with, they didn't believe me. I'm like, so you think I'm going to tell you all this. What's the gain? I already got money. So what am I gaining? I already got fame. What am I gaining to tell you that I've accepted the Lord? I'm tired. I was broken. What am I gaining? And I wish somebody would have told me that my most critical people would have come from inside, not outside. The church folks. That was my most critical persons.

51:01Not the sinners. The sinners were like, hey, man, God bless you, man. Tell me how you did it. Tell me how you stopped that Lamborghini from going 200. Tell me how you slowed everything down. it like yeah the church folks are like oh ain't no way in the world he could do that so no no what you're doing is talking on yourself you're telling that if you had all these things that you couldn't do it because you said i can't because you think about the things because the things had me i didn't have them how do we become more fulfilled i can tell you that i believe the pathway to fulfillment is by contributing to other people being in service to other people Chasing your passion and your purpose in the service of other people leads to fulfillment.

51:43Let me tell you the pathway, I think, to contributing to other people and truly fulfilling your purpose. Because if you can match being happy with all the short-term things you want to achieve in your life, achievement can be a destination. Achievement can be a level. Achievement can be a promotion. It could be a certain amount of money. It could be an accomplishment. It could be a home. It could be whatever it is. Achievements make us happy. Contribution matched with achievement is fulfillment. it. And so I want you to take an inventory. The most fulfilled people I know use the gifts they were given in their life towards the service and contributing to other people.

52:15I want you to hear me. People say, I just don't know what my passion is. I don't know what my purpose is. Your purpose is often found through identifying what your giftedness is and then how you can use those gifts to serve other people. And so it's hard for most people to give themselves any credit, but let me tell you something. You were born with natural gifts that were given to you that are special to you. You see the gifts of other people. See, certain gifts put you on TV. Good looks, unbelievable athletic ability, right? A great singing voice. These are the gifts that can put you on television.

52:45So most of us think those are the most important gifts in life are only the ones we see on television. See, and then we think because we might not possess those specific gifts, we are not gifted. Let me say to you very explicitly, you were born, and I know this, with unique special gifts that are just yours. You were born for a reason. You were born to make a difference when you were a little boy or a little girl there was a time in your life where there was somebody who believed in you they looked at you like you were special they knew you were unique maybe it was a parent or a grandparent or a school teacher a coach or an auntie or an uncle but they looked at you a certain way and you just knew they knew you were special they saw what i call the christ in you they saw the gifts in you and maybe as you got a little bit older you've forgotten what that feels like but i can tell you it was the greatest feeling in the world is in In fact, if you pictured that person's face right now that made you feel that way, you'd begin to almost get emotional because they made you see the gift in you.

53:40They may not have known what the gift was, but they made you feel special. Your uniqueness, your specialness is these gifts you were given. And by the way, be very aware of what they are. Your gifts could be your nurturing ability, your kindness, your intensity, your passion, your voice, your looks, your art skills, your ability to problem solve, your listening skills, your speaking skills, your peace, your faith, your concern, your physical strength, right? Your ability to write, your ability to think, your ability to care, your ability to be there for people, your work ethic. There are literally thousands of gifts.

54:20And I promise you, if you begin to ask yourself some deep questions, you begin to understand your desire to help people, your intentions, your sense of humor, your patience level. You have all kinds of gifts that you were given, but there are two or three or four that are yours. And if you'll identify what those two or three or four gifts are, and you begin to use those gifts in the service of other people, you will be ultimately fulfilled. In my case, you know, I feel like my gift is that I was born with the ability to articulate. I was born with the ability to learn. I was born with the ability to just deeply care and believe in people.

54:55God was good enough to give me the ability to kind of communicate those words in a way that's easy to understand. And so I've taken some of the gifts, my couple, my two or three. I don't have 50. I'm not better than you. But I've sort of identified some of the gifts I have. I love people. I care about people. I'm pretty good at speaking, right? I want to make a difference. I intend to serve. And so I've taken those skills and I've used them to serve other people in my life. and it fulfills me it's not work to me it makes me fulfilled my house may make me happy short term my jet might but i can tell you what fulfills me is making a difference in the lives of other people and it's what will fulfill you as well it's dropping this notion as i've said in other audios you are not your possessions you are not your accomplishments you are not what other people say you are good bad or indifferent you are not those things and you are not what you look like you are your gifts you are these two or three or four things this is the basis of who you are are these gifts this is the true you and when you begin to do this when you begin to utilize those gifts and service of other people you become inspirational yes you you inspire people see the root of the word inspire is to be in spirit when you are in spirit and serving people with the gifts you were given.

56:14Mike, who's filming this right now, one of his great gifts is his patience, is his artful eye, is his ability to see the right setting like we did today when we're shooting here. It's his concern to make me look good. It's the pride he takes in his work. These are some of his natural gifts, and now he's found them, and we've partnered together, his gift and my gift and the gift of my team to serve you. This will begin to fulfill you in your life. All of you have those gifts. And so when you begin to identify what they are in the service of other people, you will begin to change your life. That is who you truly are.

56:47That is when you begin to experience those emotions that serve you, that begin to transform your life. If you want to be happier, and if you want to be more fulfilled, go achieve, go accomplish, go chase those things, but do things every day that feed these emotions that you want, not the ones you don't want. Root out the emotions you don't want. Pursue and chase the ones you do and begin to use those gifts to serve other people and fulfill your purpose in being here in the world. I'm going to give you 10 things that I want you to be more of. I want you to embody more of in your life. I want you to take an inventory of them, man or woman.

57:21If you could be more of these 10 things, they will deliver to you more of these emotions. Number one, I want you to be unique. I want you to be special. See, I believe the opposite of bravery is to conform. Conformity is the opposite of bravery. You don't need to be like anybody else. Stop trying to be a part of the group. Be unique. Be special. Be you. Celebrate the uniqueness that is you. Yeah, you may take some criticism. You've probably taken it in the past. Every time you've tried to be yourself, you've taken a little criticism. But I can promise you one of the gateways to more of these positive emotions is to be unique.

57:55Be special. Be you. Number two, be love. Yes, be love. I know that may sound corny, especially to some of you guys that are listening to this, but just be more loving. I think you'll find that more love you put out into the world, and I don't mean this in some fluffy way, I'm serious. The more you love people, the more you smile, the more you truly love in life, the more you get it back in your life. Number three, be truth. Just honor your truth more often. And even in the difficult times, be honest and truthful with people. Number four, be kind. One of the rarest things in the world today is just a kind person.

58:30Just taking the time to be more kind to people. We need more kindness in the world. And the more kind you are to other people, the more those emotions come flooding your way. Number five, be beautiful. And I mean it. Be beautiful. Begin to celebrate your beauty. I know for some of us that's difficult because we're aware of all the things about us that aren't beautiful. The more you just be beautiful, I can tell you the more you begin to accept you the way you are, that you're perfect as you are. It doesn't mean we don't want to look better. It doesn't mean we don't want to improve our condition, be healthier, be stronger, look better.

59:00But the bottom line is, if we can't begin to love how we look now, we're not going to love how we look at any point. We're never going to love it. Just be more beautiful now. Number six, be moving. You must always be moving your body. See, the great emotions come from us when we're moving our body. See, emotions are physical as well. They're a physical thing. You know how you feel when you're working out or you're in that special moment with that special someone and privacy? You're moving your body at that time, aren't you? Laughter is a movement. Emotions are movements. It's a state of being.

59:31The more you're breathing deeper, the more you're moving your body. Moving your body creates positive emotions. Stagnation, laying down, hunched over, all these emotions, sitting at your desk too long every single day, laying in bed, laying on the couch, not moving, driving in the cars. When all the negative emotions hit, you'll find that when you're moving, running, moving your body, exercising, just getting in a peak state, being conscious of your posture and your physiology and moving yourself, you'll find it's almost impossible to experience the negative emotions when you're moving and the positive ones come flooding in.

1:00:00Number seven, be growing. As we've talked about previously, either growing or dying in your life, a growing person is experiencing the positive emotions of life. A person who's not growing, they start to experience depression and fatigue and fear and anxiety. Be growing all the time. It's a gateway to all the positive emotions in life. Number eight, be silly, be playful. See, you were the happiest probably when you were a little, little child, when you were playful and you didn't care what everybody thought about you. Start to have more childlike enthusiasm in your life. Be silly, be willing to look bad and look goofy.

1:00:32The happiest people have more childlike emotions, more childlike enthusiasm. We all get older and we get buttoned up and we want to look a certain way and present our certain selves and think there's a way we're supposed to act all the time. And we lose the inner child. And from there, we lose the emotions a child gets to experience. Number nine, be forgiving. Forgive people. It will set you free and open you up to all the positive emotions in their life. If there are people you need to forgive, do it. It's your lack of forgiveness that's holding you back from getting these positive emotions. It's holding on to this thing you're holding over somebody, even though you think they may deserve it.

1:01:09If you don't forgive them, you've blocked yourself. You've cheated yourself from all the joy, all the peace, all the passion in your life as you're holding on and not forgiving somebody. That lack of forgiveness has given you the anxiety and the stress and it's blunting your access to the best emotions. Be forgiving. And then number 10, be courageous. Be bold. The most courageous people in life experience the greatest emotions. They take risks. They overcome adversity. They put themselves in uncomfortable situations. They show courage. They step in when needed. They're people's heroes in their life.

1:01:46They do things they're afraid of on a very regular basis. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is taking action in the presence of fear. I promise you, the more courageous you are, the more you are opening yourself to the best emotions in life. These 10 things, these 10 steps, these 10 ways of being are gateways to the positive emotions in our life. And when you combine that with identifying your gifts and using them in the service of other people and being conscious of wanting these emotions, your entire life is going to transform. Next up is a little song from CarMax about selling a car your way.

1:02:19You want to sell those wheels, you want to get a CarMax instant offer. So fast. Want to take a sec to think about it. Or like a month. Want to keep tabs on that instant offer. With OfferWatch. Want to have CarMax pick it up from your driveway.

1:02:42So, want to drive? CarMax. Pickup not available everywhere. Restrictions and fee may apply. This episode is brought to you by Marshalls, where you never have to compromise between quality and price. The buyers of Marshalls hustle hard, working to bring you great deals on brand name and designer pieces. Because Marshalls believes everyone deserves access to the good stuff. Visit a Marshalls store near you or shop online at marshalls.com.

1:03:37Very short intermission here, folks. belief systems, limiting belief systems. And you know what? Your own confidence, your own strength, your own self-esteem is going to come from you. You have to understand something. When you try something in your life, okay, or you attempt anything in your life, you're either going to become wise or you're going to become wounded. And too many people, once they start to try, become wounded. The failure wounds them. The setback wounds them. The criticism wounds them. their own by the way sometimes the people walking through your mind with their dirty feet are you and your own thoughts and by the way the reason i know this is i very much have done this myself the guy walking through my mind most of the time with his dirty feet is this dude right here and i've learned something i don't have to believe everything i think in fact i don't anymore most the stuff i think all the studies say i've said this another podcast 80 to 90 of our thoughts are negative.

1:04:34These aren't my thoughts. Those aren't God's thoughts. Those are somehow very, very wounded man's thinking, not a wise man. And I'll ask myself that when I have these thoughts, is this a wise man's thoughts or a wounded man's thoughts? You ask yourself that these negative thoughts that you're having, these limiting thoughts that you're having, is that the wise woman's thoughts or the wounded woman's thoughts? And if it's the wounded woman, stop listening to her and start talking to her. Sometimes in life, you got to stop listening to yourself so much and start talking to yourself. And it's all your responsibility.

1:05:07Listen, it's not called friend esteem or stranger esteem or mom and dad esteem. It's called self-esteem for a reason, because you have to be the one to believe it. And listen to me, the fact that you're listening to my podcast or watching it means this, you're starting to grow. And maybe you've been growing for quite a while. And by the way, if you're outgrowing people, it makes them very uncomfortable with themselves. and then because they're uncomfortable with themselves they become dream stealers because here's what happens you getting bigger makes them feel smaller and so the consequence what a lot of us do is we decide to shrink ourselves and get smaller so that they can feel bigger or safer with us around let me say that to you again you getting bigger makes them feel smaller and because you're a good person whether it's your your boyfriend or girlfriend your spouse your friends, your parents, whoever it is, what you do because you're a good person is instead of still getting bigger, you decide you will get smaller so they can feel bigger or safer with you.

1:06:06And what ends up happening is you shrink your dreams and we shrink our lives. We shrink our energy. We shrink our capacity to fit in. And we make all these other people around us comfortable. And what I want you to do is I want you to make some people uncomfortable in your life. There's nothing wrong with making people feel uncomfortable. And if you're going to do it, see, to me, that's courage. Courage is being willing to make other people uncomfortable. Remember this. Sometimes I had to say this to my family, pardon my progress, but I'm going to be making progress over here, right? And eventually they might get on board and they might not get on board.

1:06:47But I want to know that at the end of my life, when it's over, that I've given it everything I've got, that I didn't shrink myself because I was a coward. I didn't shrink myself to please small-minded people around me, that my capacity to grow, my capacity to read, my total commitment to a personal development program, my total commitment to a self-improvement program. I started out as a very young man in my early 20s with absolutely no self-esteem, no confidence, no communication ability whatsoever. And I started the journey of self-discovery, self-improvement and personal development. I started, I was a terrible reader, but I found myself at least I could read a book a month.

1:07:28And then it got to a book a week. And I got up to where I was reading sometimes 50, 60, 70, 80 books a year. And these were like mentors to me. When I read books, it's like this author is personally speaking to me and mentoring me, pouring into me. I mean, if there was a podcast like mine back then, my gosh, I'd be glued. I mean, I would be glued to it. I mean to brag, but like I would be glued to it. There's this great Chinese proverb that says, if you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back. And to be able to listen to my Thursday episodes of the people I interview on Tuesdays, these are people who have the directions because they're coming back.

1:08:02I think I have some of them. But I know this, when I started out, because I didn't have a lot of confidence, man, every once in a while, the cowardly me would come back in. I would shrink my life, shrink my dreams, shrink my belief, right? Those voices were, those dirty feet were running through my mind. And then a few other people had their dirty feet doing it to me as well. And between the rest of us, between them and me, it was like a stampede in my mind all the time. And I didn't want to make people uncomfortable. I still, to this day, at 53 years old, I'm a people pleaser. I don't like to offend.

1:08:32I don't like to hurt people. If I have strife with somebody in my life, like I can't sleep until I fixed it. I'm just wired that way. Many of you are. But I've learned that if I've made a mistake in how I've treated somebody or spoken to them, then it should bother me and I should fix it. But if the mistake I've made is trying to do something great with my life, the mistake I've made is trying to change my family tree forever. The mistake I've made is trying to be happier and grow. If the mistake I've made is trying to give to other people and contribute and create great memories in my life, then guess what?

1:09:05That's not a mistake. And I'm not apologizing for that. I've got one life, you've got one life, and it's time we have the courage to get after it and take the lonely road and not have this cowardice, this cowardly way about us where we just conform to what everybody else is doing. And I can tell you, I think I know where it comes from. I think it comes, believe it or not, all the way back when we were little, little kids in our coloring books. Remember how much we were trained over and over again to color between the lines. And I was always a terrible color. I'm left-handed. I just, I've got no coordination skills this way.

1:09:41You go look at my old coloring book. They're just terrible. But we're trained as children. Color between the lines, Sarah. Color between the lines, Bob. Color between the lines. Stay between the lines. And we're over and over and over. This is reinforced to us to stay between the lines. And there's a lot of great things about school, but coloring between the lines, sitting in the same way, fold your hand, all these things. What ends up happening as we begin to get older, we literally start to only color between the lines in our life. We don't want to get outside the lines. And I'm going to say something to you.

1:10:14All great people color outside the lines. All the people you admire, what do you admire about them? They colored outside the lines in their life. They didn't stay a conformist. They didn't stay with some predetermined picture. See, here's what a coloring book is. Here's the picture. Now you just fill in the one I gave you. Color between the lines. And that's what most people do in their life. The world hands them, here's your picture this is what you get this is your life this is the one you're handed stay between the lines don't you bear outside those lines don't you get outside of there and what happens is that we have this thing that's now wired into us once we're adults oh my gosh i'm outside the lines i better get back i'm outside the lines i better get back and it becomes something in life where i i've never been out here before i need to come back i'm i'm misbehaving i'm gonna get in trouble.

1:11:03I'm not doing what I was trained to do. This isn't what I do. And I can tell you, that's why there's so few people in life that win, but I can tell you the decision they've made. They've made the decision that they're not coloring within the lines anymore. And so my challenge to you today is to have courage, is not to conform, but to create, is to decide in your life that you're not playing within these lines somebody else handed to you, that you're going to design your own life with God, your own story, your own pictures, and that you're going to pick up a new pen, a new crayon. You're going to start coloring a whole new picture of your life.

1:11:36And when you begin to do that, it's going to be uncomfortable at first. And by the way, some of you have said, Ed, I've done it. And you know what? Now that I'm listening to you, I'm back between the dang lines again. I was outside. I had some failures and setbacks. And I ran back within the picture they gave me. You've got to stop this tendency of running back within the picture that everybody gave you, shrinking your dreams down, shrinking your life down to fit between these lines, some artificial lines that everybody some strange a random person i guess gave you but i can tell you this i don't believe you were created to stay within those lines i don't think you yet have any idea what your potential is and your capacity but what i can tell you is you begin to expand your capacity and you start really getting out there you'll be surprised how far you can go i the people that i know that are successful myself included if you think i am for me to look back now how far I've come.

1:12:27My gosh, it's amazing. You'd have told me all these different things would happen. It blows my mind. But the reason that that happened is I finally started building a habit of I'm not shrinking to make you comfortable. And by the way, I'm not going to shrink to make me comfortable. I've got incredibly comfortable at being uncomfortable. In fact, this is probably not great to admit, but when I go too long, just kind of laying around I'm being comfortable, I start to get uncomfortable. I start to get uncomfortable not doing difficult things. People ask me all the time, why do you do cold plunges in the morning?

1:13:01Is it the anti-inflammatory properties? Is it? I don't know. No, not really. In fact, there's some data that says the longer you do it, the less that has an impact. I don't even know if that's right, but that's why I do it anyway. The reason that I do it is it's hard. The reason I do it is it's difficult. Successful people, happy people do difficult things. Unhappy people, and I believe unsuccessful people, have a tendency to not do difficult things. There's this great story. My firm at one time, we sponsored Carl Edwards. He was a NASCAR driver, very successful one for a long time. And I asked him about driving a NASCAR and I'll never forget what he told me.

1:13:45I said, what's the hardest part? And he goes, well, there's obviously the physical toll that it takes on you, Ed. And obviously the mechanics of knowing how to drive the car correctly and all those things that I don't understand of being a top athlete in any sport. But he said the most difficult part is when you're driving and there's a crash in front of you and you're doing 150 miles an hour. And all you can see is a smoke cloud. All you can see is a smoke cloud. And he said, and what you got to do is drive right through that cloud. You got to drive right through it. And he goes, and it's scary because you don't know what's on the other side.

1:14:16You could be going headlong into a car that's already crashed at 150, 180 miles an hour. Bam. And you don't know. And you got to drive through the smoke anyway. I never thought about that before. He goes, oh, yeah. I mean, there's a wreck in front of you and there's the smokes everywhere. He goes, you just got to drive right through it. And he said, the other thing is when there's an accident, he goes, you know, you're up against the wall and you're driving. He goes, your tendency when you're driving, you got you're doing 150 or 180 or whatever they do. the wall's a millimeter away he goes you can't look at the wall because when you look at it you drive right into it you end up gravitating right into it he said you got to keep looking ahead ed you can't flinch when there's an accident in front of you you can't flinch where there's smoke and you can't see what's on the other side you got to drive right through it and i remember it firing me up thinking man that's life man that's success sometimes you can't see where you're going you got to drive right through it not knowing what's on the other side and have the faith and the confidence.

1:15:09And when you get to the other side, you will figure it out that there'll be a blessing and a gift that you'll be protected. And that's what I mean by the conformity is cowardice, right? It takes courage to go through that smoke cloud. And then you got to keep your eye on the prize. When you're driving 150, 180 miles an hour, an inch away from the wall, don't look at the wall. Don't look at the wall. Look ahead where you're going. And so many of us in life, even once we get it going, we start looking at the wall. I know I'm going to crash. I know I'm going to crash. it's so close and we start looking at the things we don't want and we manifest them we literally i believe thoughts are magnets and what you think about most regularly you attract to yourself i believe that i believe it especially if you do it repetitively especially if i can be candid with you and i may sound outside the lines for you but let me just say this i love being outside the lines the more you begin to become successful and vibrate at a high frequency the more you really need to protect your thoughts because when you're vibrating the highest frequency you tend to draw things to you even more rapidly and more regularly when you're at that frequency.

1:16:11Okay. And so it's important that you not look at the wall in your life. That wall is an artificial line in the coloring book of your life. And when you begin to look at it, you decide to conform or hit it. But when you look ahead at where you're going, when you're focused in the present moment, see, I could tell you this. The other reason I love to cold plunge is it's so dadgum cold. It forces me to be fully present in that moment. You get into a cold plunge You can't be worrying about your problems in that moment You are fully focused and getting through those three to five minutes or however long you sit in there For some of us that are crazy people.

1:16:45It's some of the few minutes every day. We are fully present Right, I can promise you if you're doing 150 or 180 into a smoke cloud You're not worried about your grocery list at that time You're going right in there fully present in the moment and it's the most alive you ever feel in your life See total focus. You'll feel the most alive in your life If you look back at your life, some of the most chaotic, busy, difficult times were your happiest. And you may not have realized it at the time, but when you're in college cramming for finals. And I ask you to go back to those days, all the stress.

1:17:16You had a job and you're going through college, let's say, if you had that. Some of the happiest times in your life. Some of you mamas, those days where you're eight months, your pregnancy, and you're one of the difficult times in your life, yet one of the most blessed times in our life. See, when it's really busy and we feel the most out of control and we're driving through that smoke cloud, we're coloring outside those lines when we're the happiest. And when it's easy and cruise control and we're just kind of shrinking our life down to conform like everybody else, it's when we're the most miserable.

1:17:47That's why there's this thing that's inside of you right now saying, I'm supposed to be somebody. I'm supposed to do something great with my life. I'm not exactly settled where I am right now. You're not settled right now. You don't feel settled in your spirit. You don't feel settled in your spirit because you know there's more abundant faith for you. You know there's more people to help. You know there's a dream and a life waiting for you out there, even if you're in a great one right now. You've got this sense about you that there's another place for you to go. There's more people for you to help.

1:18:15There's more people for you to serve. If you're a believer that you want to serve God's kingdom in the biggest possible way you can, whatever that thing is for you. And I can tell you, I know where that lies and that lies outside the lines. And so today I hope you decide that you or no one else is ever going to walk through your mind with their dirty feet. And that you've decided that you're not going to conform. And that you're going to do something awesome with your life. I'm giving you full permission. In fact, I'm begging you. Color outside the lines. Because that's where all the people that you want to help are waiting for you.

1:18:48My dear friend that's here today is the co-founder of Mastermind.com. Along with his partner and friend and my friend, Tony Robbins. Dean Graziosi must be here today. So, Dean, welcome to the show, brother. It's always so good to be here with you. By the way, that leads me to kind of my first question. We're going to talk about the event quite a bit. And by the way, guys, you get a chance to have an event with Dean and Tony, which, by the way, I know they're not going to do a lot more of these. You know, take advantage of it. We'll talk about the event as we go forward. But these are, if you'd have told me growing up, I could get access to a Dean Graziosi or Tony Robbins and just sign up and I'm there.

1:19:19I'd be like, are you kidding me? I mean, it'd be something to be an automatic no-brainer. And the reason is, Dean, is my first question. You know, Tony talks a lot about sort of the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. And when I look at you, I look at someone who over the years has gotten a lot better at the art form of fulfillment. And so many things about social media right now are hustle and grind culture, which you and I know two people hustle and grind more than you and I. but I'm not so sure that there, I mean, I think there's a lot of success happening, but I don't know how much fulfillment's happening in people's lives.

1:19:57And so if I'd open up with a question and be, what would you say to somebody who feels like they're maybe having some success, but they're not fulfilled? Ah, what a great question. And kind of why we're leaning down the road of the game has changed, because I think it really has, because, you know, Success without fulfillment is probably the biggest failure of them all, right? I see, you know, you and I do have a lot of history, and we have a lot of similar backgrounds. My dad's still alive at 87 years old, and I watch my dad chase a lot of things in his life, and at 87, I watch him. He's really sad deep down, and I give him love on a regular basis and take care of him, but he's sad because he chased success, even though it didn't really come to him, but he missed out on fulfillment.

1:20:45He, he missed out on being connected. My sister and him haven't talked in 20 years. He didn't talk to his brothers and sisters. And I'm not trying to get on a personal note, but I get to witness with a man who's at 87, who's one of the smartest people I've ever met my dad. And I watch when he talks to me and he looks in my eyes and he'll tell me he loves me now. He never told me as a kid, you know, old school, tough Italian guy from the East coast, but he tells me now, and his eyes fill up with water. And a hundred times, a hundred percent of the times him and I talk now. We're together, you know, at least every week.

1:21:16And I just watched a life without fulfillment. And I get to be Tony Robbins' partner. I get to do this for a living. And I get so many, I see so many people chasing success. And one of the things I want to share is when you're chasing success, especially through a career and a career mindset, we're never taught the art of fulfillment. We're never taught that we could find something with purpose. We never taught that we could be passionate about what we do. We're taught to balance work and play, work and life, right? We're supposed to say, you know, shut it off at five o 'clock. How does that work, Ed?

1:21:51Do you walk in the door at five thirty? Okay, honey, I'm leaving that at the door. No. And the only reason we're taught that is because most of the time we're taught to do something we really don't love in a career we really don't like. And then we're taught to shut it off and be somebody different at home and maybe watch football on a Sunday and have a couple scotches every night to just numb it rather than work-life integration. I think COVID had a big shot in the arm of this as people were realizing, hey, I'm doing okay financially, but I don't like my life. I'm not happy. I'm not fulfilled.

1:22:21I'm looking around corners. I see somebody at dinner and they're smiling. I think they got a better life than me because inside I'm miserable. And I think that's, I think that's what one of the things you do so well, Ed, and I loved, loved listening to every word of your last book. I mean, cause I know you so well, like I said, but helping people realize when you can find that balance of a career or a business and working on the best version of you, that's where life is. And I think that's why Tony and I have been, you know, screaming from mountaintops is this is the time because we don't get a second chance.

1:22:53And maybe it's because I'm in my fifties, mid fifties that, and Tony's in his mid sixties. It's like, we just want to shake people and say, don't settle. You can have both. you know what the the thing about what you've been doing too which is really teaching people how to take their knowledge and and express it and they can monetize it but they can also serve people when they do it and one of the pathways to fulfillment for me and you can talk about the event as you answer this question but i'd like you to answer the question directly too is that i think if you're not feeling fulfilled perhaps it's that you're not really becoming the fullest expression of yourself or the expression of yourself that you want to be.

1:23:31And I think so many people, you know, maybe they've got a little bit of money. Maybe they don't even have it. They think, well, if I get the money, I'll feel fulfilled. Or if I get the relationship, I'll feel fulfilled. What I've found as I've gotten older, if I look back at my last 30 years, different things make me happy. But one of them that almost always delivers fulfillment for me is when I feel that I'm expressing the versions of myself that are the most beautiful, that are the most proud, that are the most giving, that are the most generous. And even the parts of me that I'm the most afraid to express, I find bring me the most fulfillment in my life.

1:24:08And I wonder if that lack of fulfillment is correlated to a lack of expression of who somebody truly is, what they know, what they feel, what they believe, what they value, what they stand for. What do you think? such it's such a good way to frame it i think i think you're spot on you know i want to ask you something the american dream do you think i brought that up uh we had a team meeting and everybody under 35 we had a meeting with about 12 of us so i want to ask your opinion on this i brought up the american dream i just brought it up i said do you think it still exists is it still alive and what does it mean and i have to say the people on the team under 35 is like oh no, you know, I don't know if the American dream, that might be controversial.

1:24:53And people over 50 are like, yeah, that is the thing our parents and grandparents came to this country for or worked hard for. I had never seen something so, you know, opposite. And the younger kids on my team, I say younger kids that are 35, they're like, I don't think you should bring that up. I was like, wow, is that what we are as a society that we can't talk about the American dream? because my definition, I'd love to know yours, Ed, my thought of the American dream, wherever you live in the world, is living into your full potential, like knowing you're meant for more, right? But actually doing something in your power to achieve it, right?

1:25:32And I think, I don't know how that could have gotten a bad name. Maybe I'm blind or naive to it. But I think what you're saying is like a life lived without tapping into that full potential you have, or at least trying, I think is the saddest life ever. And to me, it just looks like, Hey, fight for it. Do whatever it takes. You want to call it the American dream. You want to say you're living into your full potential, whatever it takes. I just know if you leave, um, if you leave gas in the tank at the end of your life, right? I love, I think I watched you say one time, if you had a cell phone at the end life and God played you a video of the man you could have been or the woman you could have been.

1:26:10Won't that be the most horrific thing on the planet? And yeah, I do think that's sad. I got to tell you the version of the American dream for me, to me, it means freedom and that's freedom to express yourself, be yourself. And if those things like, I have a sister who I think is incredibly fulfilled, Andrea, my middle sister, I think all three of my sisters are, but my middle sister, I'll tell you about her Dean really quickly. She had lost her vision many years ago. Most people know that she had gone blind. She's diabetic retinopathy. And so she had lost her vision. And my sister doesn't make a lot of money.

1:26:43She's a Christian school teacher. But I think she has a very rich life and a very fulfilled life, particularly now that she can see again and she can teach again. And the reason is, is that she chose something that was the fullest expression of her soul, of her spirit, of what she wanted to be. And to me, the American dreams got conflated the last few years. And the reason it's a controversial topic is the American dream now appears to be about wealth, affluence, influence, materialism. And we've made that the dream. And because that looks like the dream through social media and reality shows and these different things, the controversial part of it is most people believe those things are reserved for a very select group of people, which in point of fact may have some validity to it.

1:27:25Not everybody's going to be worth$100 million. Not everybody's going to fly private. And when we've made that the prize, it becomes controversial because not everybody thinks they could get that. And by the way, the truth is not everybody wants that, but everybody wants to live authentically. Everybody wants freedom to be and express who they are, to create, to build something, to give something. To me, that's the American dream. And I do believe that's alive, but I believe we've conflated what it means. In other words, if it doesn't pay you 5 million bucks a year, that's not the dream. and for some people who are listening to this or watching it, their dream is the material part and I think there's a freedom to express it that way as well.

1:28:07But I think a lot of people feel pressured like, I don't want all these things everybody else wants but I'm supposed to want them and now I'm conflicted internally because I don't truly want all the material things and because I don't truly want it, I'm probably not going to produce it because you have to be obsessed with whatever you want in your life and it's not a real obsession to me. And so to me, what's happened even to me recently is like I've been willing to say, you know what? Those were my other dreams. I have new dreams now. I've re-audited my life and what matters to me now. And it's okay that those things change.

1:28:43Here's the other thing it's okay for in life, to change your mind. To say, I used to believe that. I no longer do. There are things I used to teach I don't teach anymore because I've changed. I get it. And so in my mind, yes, I believe it's alive. I just think the real dream should be the fullest expression of your soul and your heart. If that dream means you want to live in a cabin in the mountains and explore nature all day long, or serve in your church full time, or work in a nonprofit, or make$100 million, or teach something like what we're going to talk about in a minute that you believe is valuable, that can improve other people's lives.

1:29:20These are things that I think we need to create a space again in the world that says, what's your dream? Not your parents, not your sisters, not social medias, and not even what yours was five years ago. Five years ago. I mean, for me, and I'll shut up and I'll ask you this, 25 years ago, one of my major dreams would be incredibly wealthy, to be comfortable, to take care of my family, to be financially independent, to never, my dream was less to be incredibly wealthy. Better said, I didn't want to be poor. I didn't want to struggle financially. I didn't want to not be there for my family. Well, now that that's sort of been achieved, it's not really.

1:29:56Financial success is not a major dream of mine. Contribution is. Here's a clip of Ed Milet appearing on the Heavy Checklist podcast. This book is heavy in the sense that you say things like winning is more fun than fun is fun. So when I first heard you say that and I read it, it took me some time to process. because it seems like a simple statement, right? Like it seems very like, you know, yeah, winning's great. But what does winning really mean and what is fun? And I think in your book you start to dive into, you watched certain friends and associates go this way in the pursuit of fun and happiness and success.

1:30:37Yeah. And it didn't work out quite how they thought it would. Well, and so have you. So I say winning is more fun than fun is fun. What is winning? Winning is just reaching your potential at whatever it is that you're doing, right? And I've had all kinds of friends in my life just go for short-term stuff. They want to go to the club. They want to go have fun. They want to chill out. And to me, that might sound good for like 15 or 20 minutes. But to me, winning, reaching my potential. By the way, winning and having fun. Like maxing out my laughter like we were doing before we started here today.

1:31:04Every area of my life. The reason I wrote the book is really simple. My dad died. And when it happened, I learned all these lessons from my dad. I know a lot about how the brain works. I know a lot about the spiritual stuff, the physical stuff. and it occurred to me man like I'm next yeah I don't know when my life ends but I know I'm the next my let man to go yeah and so I wanted to write a book for my kids and my great grandkids that this is what I know about being happy and successful and one of the things I know is that chasing short-term fleeting fun in every area even our scriptures all tell us this the cheap stuff of life the cheap things that are easy to get are hollow yeah and the hard things the I have a chapter in the book called one more inconvenience doing inconvenient difficult things that build character yeah is where real fun is absolutely and and to me it fires me up to know that because we're in a culture now that doesn't celebrate that anymore we're in a culture that celebrates cheap short-term fun and whatever you want to call it well i think fun and fulfillment were are synonymous here this is the type of fun that we're talking about feeling fulfilled is fun.

1:32:11Going out and partying on the weekend, that may be fun for a minute. And you might have a great weekend and then whatever else happens after that. But fulfillment, influence for good, and accomplishing things that other people haven't accomplished before, that's real fun. It is real fun. And the other thing is this, you learn something about yourself. This may sound really serious for this, but Napoleon Hill says in Think and Grow Rich, by the way, I love Think and Grow Rich. Other than scriptures, it's my favorite book. But the truth is, you don't just think and get rich. There's stuff you've got to do.

1:32:43So I wanted to write a book about what do you think and what do you do congruently that produce a result. But one thing I love that he says is, if you can survive the temporary, the temporary pain, the temporary issue you're going through, that on the other side of that pain, you get introduced to your other self. And that other self produces another life, which is more fun. And so for me, it's no matter who's listening to this right now or watching it, listen, you might be going through something temporary right now. Okay. It's painful. It's difficult. You're having a setback. You're, you're not on your A game right now.

1:33:12Everything in life is temporary. Being other than our souls, being with my dad, I was literally holding my father's hand when he took his last breath. And it occurred to me even in those moments, like, wow, even our bodies are temporary. Nothing you're going through is permanent. Most people start making permanent decisions in temporary conditions in their lives because they don't have the tools, the thoughts, and the actions to take. And I'm like, I need to write a book. You know, humans need to know these things. This is the Ed Myland Show.