What If You’re the One Holding You Back?

0:28So, Hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive. $10 ,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition-free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also.

0:53So go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed.

1:26you when you need it so your dollar goes a long way visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates potential savings will vary not available in all states or situations this is the admired show all right welcome back of the show, everybody. I'm excited. I'm going to just throw you a bunch of disorganized ideas I have and thoughts I have that I think can help you thrive during what are challenging times. Here's the irony. No matter when you're listening to this, there will be trying times. There will be difficulties. There will be things to overcome.

2:09And that's why first thing I want you to write down is outlast the temporary. Outlast the temporary. Outlast the temporary. Everything thing in life is temporary. In fact, our physical body is temporary. And so every single element of our lives are temporary. But the more we think things become permanent, the more the pressure accumulates on us. We can never get out of this. I'm permanently going to be broke. I'm permanently going to be unhappy. I'm permanently overweight. The world is permanently going to be in turmoil. My business is permanently going to fail. It's just a lie. You have to outlast the temporary.

2:41All pain is temporary. All things are temporary. And that's something that's really difficult to get our arms around. But if you really think about it, your body is temporary. At some point, your body will no longer exist. So everything in life is temporary. And once you embrace that, it changes your perspective on everything. So I'm going to share so much with you guys today. Before I do that, I should tell you that this calling I have in my heart, as you know, I do this show. I do really everything I do in my public life to serve people. I certainly don't do it for money. I was wealthy way before I started to do any of this stuff.

3:13And it's not a significant part of my income. I have a book called The Power of One More, and I believe this book is going to change the world. If you've all read Think and Grow Rich before, I love Napoleon Hill. In fact, I'm going to read out of his book to you today as part of my message. I love Think and Grow Rich, but I always felt like, yeah, you got to think and grow rich, but you got to act and do specific things to get rich. Rich, by the way, means happiness, bliss, financial, relationship, emotions, whatever rich means to you. I've written a book called The Power of One More, and that book I believe is revolutionary.

3:43It's really the first ever book in my opinion written that puts thoughts and actions in congruency and I legitimately in this book give you tons of different thoughts and actions that if you do them simultaneously they create change and it's really my life's work in one book. I believe this book could change your life or at least improve it for sure. It might change the world. Go to the website thepowerofonemore.com Okay, now let's get into stuff. I think this will just, you know, potentially really serve you. Is that this, write this down. Success requires no apologies. Failure permits no alibis.

4:18Success requires no apologies. Failure permits no alibis. Where'd I get that from? It's not mine. It's actually out of the book, Think and Grow Rich that I've just referenced earlier. One of the original versions I'm holding up my dear friend Robin Sharma sent to me. And so that is not my quote. I can't stand when people use my content and quotes and don't give me credit. but that's not my quote. That's out of Think and Grow Rich. But the theme of today is that, listen, success requires no apologies and failure permits no alibis. We can't be making alibis. And so how do we create change in our life?

4:47How do we make moves through this difficult times? Because no matter what time you're listening to this, it'll be tried. There's always things to overcome. That's what life's about. One of the things in Think and Grow Rich that I love is in the book, this is so profound, and I hope this gives you hope, that in the book, he talks about going through adversity, going through trials and tribulations. And he ends up saying in the book that if you can get to the other side of these trials, if you don't quit, that you get introduced to your other self, your other self. And so what if it is that all of the tragedies, trials, tribulations, difficulties in our lives are all set up there so that on the other side of it, there's another version of it.

5:25So the other side of it, we get introduced to our other self. And I must tell you that I've been introduced to many different versions of me. And the only way I got to those versions of me was to have to go through something difficult that tried me, that pushed me, that caused me to question myself, doubt myself, almost give in, almost resist. You think about it for you, the things you have achieved in your life, where you are today. This version of you has been put together, has been developed, has been created because of the things you learned, the things you went through, the lessons you gained through difficult times.

5:59So when you're hitting these difficult times, just remember on the other side of this time, whatever it is for you is your other self. How beautiful is that? And when you step back and look at one's entire life, even if you have children and you all were a child at one point, think about the difficult things. And you got introduced to that other version of you. I remember going to high school so scared. There was this whole thing when I was going to high school. They would put the freshman in trash cans. You know, I didn't know anybody. And, you know, was anybody going to like me? But the person who walked in my freshman year of high school, I think you'll agree, a totally different person walked out my senior year.

6:30I got introduced to my other self. And then when I started my business journey, there's one guy that started. And then after the first trial and tribulation, I pushed through, I got introduced to another self of me and then another self and then another self and then another self. In relationships, you've been introduced to other selves of you once you've gotten through them or learn from them. And so what you're going through right now, the beauty of it is it's preparing this other self, this better version of you. And you've got to remind yourself of this because it's so easy not to want to outlast the temporary.

7:00I did a big, long coaching call with Arte Syndicate on this. I'm not going to get into what I covered there. I'm going to cover different things today. But I just want you to think about this for a second. Without it, it's just you all the way through life. There's no change. There's no growth. So this trial, this thing that you're going through, or maybe just this thing you're trying to accomplish. Maybe it doesn't even feel trying. Maybe we're just trying to accomplish something that's difficult, right? The other self is on the other side of that. And I just want to tell you, chase that version of you, chase that person, embrace it.

7:31And when you see this adversity coming at you, right, see it for what it really is. It's this introduction to the new you waiting for you on the other side of it. I love one of the things I'm going to read to you out of Napoleon Hill's book a little bit right here. He says, if the first plan which you adopt does not work successfully, replace it with a new plan. If this plan fails to work, replace it, and in turn with it, another, and so on, until you find a plan which does work. Right here is at the point at which the majority of men, people, meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of the old ones which fail.

8:08The most intelligent man living cannot succeed in accumulating money nor in any other undertaking without plans which are practical and workable. And his point in the chapter was this is where most people quit. This is where most people give in. They surrender at the sign of adversity rather than pivot, rather than innovate, rather than create a new plan. They give in. And what costs you when you give in is you rob the world and you of this other self. Those are my words, not him in this case. But that's what gets robbed. And quitting becomes a habit. It's habitual. When you quit on one thing, you'll quit on other things.

8:44And so finish, adopt, adapt all the time in your life. I want to share something with you. You have emotions that you're familiar with. Okay. And some of these emotions serve you and some of them don't serve you. It's called your emotional home is what I call it. And oftentimes in our lives, we will find a way to get that emotion. We're addicted to our heart and our emotions move towards what we are most familiar with. You have an emotional home and it's important to take an inventory of what is that home? Because you find a way to get it every week. Whatever those emotions are, they could be peace, joy, ecstasy, passion, right?

9:19all those great emotions that you could have. And by the way, they aren't good and bad, just some service and some don't. Then there's other ones, pain, fear, anxiety, worry, depression, frustration, anger. You all know people, as I described those emotions, you thought of different people, didn't you? When I said anger, you thought of someone, you know, who's regularly angry. When I said fearful or depressed, you thought of somebody, maybe you thought of you. And so if you have this primary emotion that you're getting on a regular basis, you find a way to get it, don't you? You do. No matter what's going on, you find a way at some point during your week to get your fear.

9:53Why? Because it's familiar. We move towards what's familiar. This is how human beings are. So the reason we want to go through difficulties is because if at the other end of that we can get another self, maybe we can get another emotion. Because self is really emotions. What you really don't want is a jet or cash. You want how you think that will make you feel. What you really don't want is just a relationship. It's how you think the relationship will make you feel. You don't just want to win that contest you're in right now. It's how you think it'll make you feel. So what you're chasing is the emotions.

10:24See, I know people with absolutely no money who feel rich. I know a bunch of people with a lot of money who feel broke, right? So what we're really chasing is our emotions. So for me, how do you do that? You become very intentional about what they are. You become intentional. my primary emotion I'm chasing right now that I can experience anytime I want but I don't have to chase it that's that word's probably not well said I can experience anytime I want because it exists within me is peace and when I'm not getting peace I get intentional about seeking it I'm not going to do things in my life anymore that on the other end of it can't acquire me more peace I may lack some as I do it but I'm going to get more of it on the other side of it starting to become intentional.

11:05And I'll share with you, we all have emotions that don't serve us. We all do. One of mine is chaos. I love chaos. Isn't that interesting? I love chaos. I've just realized this as an adult, like I always create chaos. Why? I thrive. I thrive in chaos because I do. I'm familiar with it. Why do I always create chaos? Even when things are great, it's like, nope, I got to do this. I got to do that. I create a chaotic state. I create chaos around me. I've become aware of this. Why? Because chaos is familiar to me. Why is chaos familiar to me? Because to some extent in my childhood, it was chaotic. Most of you know that my dad was an alcoholic, greatest guy in the world, sober for 35 years after that.

11:45But in my early upbringing, it was chaotic. It was unstable. I didn't know, is he coming home? Is he not coming home? What moods are you going to be in? Are mom and dad going to stay married? All those kinds of things. And it was chaotic. And I became familiar with chaos. And so I find a way in my given week or my month or my day to find chaos, don't I? And I do. Anybody that knows me knows that's true. And I thrive in it. Chaos, by the way, can be used positively. Chaos has caused me to become wealthy. Chaos has caused me to not want to be overweight and to be fit. Sometimes that chaos, I've learned to thrive in it.

12:17But you have to ask yourself, and I had to ask myself, do I want to live all my life in chaos? No. And then I got intentional. If chaos doesn't serve me that way. What emotions do I want? I want more joy. I want more laughter. I want more peace. And so I'm intentional about getting it. And I'm aware when I'm starting to generate chaos unintentionally. And that awareness for me, that awareness causes it to lose its power over me. So in your case, I would ask you, what emotion is your emotional home that you get the most regularly? Is it really joy? Is it really peace? Is it really ecstasy, passion, right?

12:55Or do you get a little bit familiar with worry, anger, frustration, melancholy, whatever you want to call it, fear, right? And once you know that, ask yourself, what are the emotions I would want to experience on a regular basis? And get intentional about them and become aware when you're doing the ones you don't think serve you, all right? And then ask yourself this, what would I have to think or believe in order to generate that emotion, right? Because a lot of times we have thoughts that don't serve us. Thoughts generate emotions, right? It's not an event that generates the quality of our life.

13:33There's an event, then there is our perception of the event, our thought about it, which creates the emotion. So it's not the events of our lives. You can be going through a very difficult time and have peace. You can go through a very difficult time and feel strong. It's being intentional about it. And so I would challenge you to begin to think about what do I normally think that causes me to get this emotion that creates stress for me? And what would I need to think in order to get the ones I want when the same stimulus happens?

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14:58So, want to drive? CarMax. Pickup not available everywhere. Restrictions and fee may apply. In Think and Grow Rich, he says there are six basic fears. By the way, in The Power of One More, I show you how to overcome these fears with daily strategies. So it's not just the thought, it's the action you would take. I mirror the thought in congruency with the action. And that's why The Power of One More is such a really unique book. Having said that, these are the six basic fears according to Napoleon Hill, and they're really interesting. He says, there are six basic fears with some combination of which every human suffers at one time or another.

15:37Most people are fortunate if they do not suffer from the entire six. Named in the order of their most common appearance they are. This is interesting in sequence. The number one fear is the fear of poverty. And just process that. Do you have the fear of poverty? Do you have the fear that whatever you're going through right now, you're going to be broke? You're going to fear that you're going to run out of money, that you're not going to eat or whatever it might be. The fear of poverty. Number two, the fear of criticism, right? By the way, these are the bottom, not the top, excuse me. The fear of criticism.

16:06Do you have any of that? The fear of ill health. Okay. Fourth fear, the fear of loss of love of someone. In other words, someone you love will no longer love you. Okay. Five, the fear of old age, getting old and missing your prime, missing your moment, missing your life. And then lastly, the fear of death. And so those are the six fears, poverty, criticism, bad health, loss of the love of someone, old age and death. And usually I think you'll find that when you're experiencing stress and anxiety, it's born out of one of those fears. And I know you're sitting there going, Ed, this is damn good.

16:36Thank you for doing the show today. I hope you are. And if you do feel that, share it. Fastest growing show in the world, share it. So I'm aware of the fears that I have. And that's why success requires no apologies. I'm not worried about criticism. And failure permits no alibis. There are no alibis. There are no excuses. There just aren't any. And you go, but Ed, you don't understand. I do have this excuse. I do have this issue. I do have this situation that isn't fair for me. By the way, you're probably right. And if you think it, you're definitely right. What you have to ask yourself is, does it serve you to believe that?

17:09Or what would you need to believe in spite of that? You say, well, hey, I started too late. I don't have enough money. What if you started to think, man, what a story this is going to be that I started with no money? Or you know what? I'm a particular group of people that's marginalized and it's more difficult for me. I would just submit to you that isn't the story going to be sweeter when you do win? Isn't it going to even be more inspiring when you do win? Isn't it going to move more people? Isn't your test going to be your testimony? Tony, whatever this thing is, that is the alibi that you have in your life, whatever it is, someone hurt me, this overcame, I'm in this situation, you don't understand my health situation.

17:44Listen, if it serves you to believe that, keep believing it. But as your friend and your coach and a mentor to you, and someone who loves you and cares about you, I would say this does not serve you. Even if it's true, what would you need to believe about it that now gives you power instead of kryptonite? And you begin to ask yourself these questions. You're going to show up 20 years from now somewhere. The question is where? And what I would submit to you is that one of the ways out of difficult times is huge, bold, God-sized dreams. The one you're embarrassed to tell people, the huge, bold, God-sized dream in your life.

18:19And the more of it you begin to project into that dream state of what you want in your life, the more it gives you the inspiration. If your dreams are bigger than the adversity, you'll get through it. But the minute that adversity, those emotions are bigger than where you're going, bigger than your dreams, You're toast. You got to reevaluate that. You got to look at it. You got to say, wait a minute. What's my big dream? What's my big goal? What's that big emotion? What's that thing? What's that place? What's that person? What's that contribution? Whatever it might be. And you got to begin to obsess about it because what I said earlier is true.

18:49Your mind moves towards what it's most familiar with. So if you're most familiar with your fears, those six fears, or these emotions you don't want or your problems or your setbacks or the things that are not in your favor, then you're going to move towards them. Let me say that to you again. You may be right about this adversity. You may be right about your circumstance. You may be right about all that. But does it serve you to believe it? Because the way the mind works is it moves towards what it's most familiar with. And the reason some people are successful and most aren't is the successful people have the ability to begin to program into their mind the things they want, the dreams they have over and over and over because they know this to be true.

19:31They belong in their dreams. Their dreams are not some hallucination. They're not a joke. God gave you those dreams as a glimpse, as a preview of what's possible in your life. And the more you understand these dreams don't just come from me. How do I have these dreams? Where'd they come from? They come from God in your life or whatever you believe about that. I'm a Christian. I believe they come straight from Jesus, straight from God, but whatever your faith is, the universe, whatever you believe, they come from outside of you and they're not a joke. They're a preview of what's possible. And the more you move towards those thoughts, those dreams in faith, boldly strong, and not towards the six fears you have or this circumstance.

20:12And I'm not talking about don't deal with reality. I'm not saying, I already said, you need to pivot. You need to course correct. You need a better plan. Clearly you need a better plan. But what you don't need is to be moving towards the thoughts that don't serve you because you keep getting them, don't you? You keep drawing the circumstances into your life that don't serve you because your mind moves you towards what you're familiar with. Please, sister, I love you. Please, brother, listen to what I'm saying. Begin to feed these thoughts to you regularly and begin to take the actions in congruency with them.

20:43And when you begin to think and act in congruency, So you become a force in the world that is unstoppable eventually, if you can outlast the temporary, not right away. See, there's two things people lack. The Bible says where there is no vision, the people perish. People lack vision, but oftentimes when they get a vision, the other thing that they suffer from is depth perception issues. They think it's further than it is. They think they're further away than they really are. And so they pace themselves and they act like it and they don't let their mind go there regularly. And so they constantly stay in a perpetual state of being far from it.

21:16the premise of my book, The Power of One More, is very simple when you get it. And it's this. You're a lot closer to your dreams than you think. You're a lot closer to these emotions, these feelings, that life, that other self, than you think you are. Let me tell you what you are. You're one decision away, one possible meeting, one relationship, one thought, one emotion, one strategy away from changing it. You're a lot closer than you think. So stop thinking it's so far away. and stop thinking about all the things all the time that don't serve you, right? By the way, what is thinking? And how do I think better?

21:50What's a thought? A thought is the process of asking yourself a question and answering it. So ask yourself better questions and you will have better thoughts and better answers. So if you do have this detriment, that's this thing that's a hindrance and you know it's a hindrance and it's a challenge or you're going through something, right? That's okay. The question is, ask yourself a better question about it. Instead of saying, that's why I'm going to lose, it's, hey, how can I overcome this? What are the answer to this? Who are people like me that have won? What is my story going to look like when I win?