657: How to Find Joy and Peace Without Sacrificing Productivity or Progress

0:01Today's episode is sponsored in part by Revolve and Spectrum. Revolve is my all-time favorite place to shop for my dream wardrobe. Head to revolve.com forward slash gold digger to shop my favorites and get 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger. Spectrum business keeps your business connected with reliable service you can count on. Visit spectrum.com forward slash free for life to learn how you can get business internet free forever. As always, you can find all of our amazing deals in the show notes. Now let's get into it. okay I have been on this ruthless pursuit to purge any clothes that I'm not actually wearing like if I haven't reached for it in months it's gotta go I am trying to be really intentional about what I bring into my closet right now which means I am only buying pieces that I know I will actually wear and use revolve just gets it though I'm literally wearing my brown autri sneakers from there right now and my new suede purse it fits my laptop in it so it's basically a fancy shoulder bag that works for everything.

1:02I love finding pieces like that. Things that look good, but also work hard for my actual life. Their holiday shop is live right now with all the good stuff. Sparkly party dresses, cozy sets, cute gifts, everything you need for whatever is on your calendar. And it's all in one place, which makes shopping feel way less overwhelming. Whether it's a weekend away, a big night out, or a holiday party, your dream wardrobe is just one click away. Head to revolve.com forward slash gold digger shop my edit and take 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger fast two-day shipping easy returns it's literally the only place you need to shop from that's revolve.com forward slash gold digger to shop my favorites and get 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger offer available for a limited time so happy shopping balance isn't achievable balance means the more I work the more I have to play right right?

1:57Well, what if I don't want to keep adding more and more? What if I have a really busy work month? I just need to figure out how that fits with the other things I want to do, not add more stuff. Hey, my name is Jenna Kutcher and I am obsessed with all things, business, marketing numbers, and helping you to navigate both the messy and the magical seasons of this thing called life. I'm a small town mama who took a$300 camera, grew a successful photo biz, and now I work from home and run a seven-figure online business. I teach you the tried and true secrets to building a career you adore. Shy away from the real talk?

2:30No way. Money, hardship, growth, loss, and marketing are all topics we discuss here. Think of this as your one-stop shop for happy hour with a gal pal mixed with business school. Pull up a seat, make sure you're cozy, and get ready to be challenged and encouraged while you learn. This is the Gold Digger Podcast. You might already know this about me, but I am not someone who subscribes to this notion of balance. And I'm using air quotes here. I believe in this idea of blend. Like I want my life as a mother and as an entrepreneur and as Jenna, the human to blend together so that I can show up as my full self wherever I am, not having to segment or compartmentalize who I am and the things that I love.

3:13Today's guest on the show has a very similar philosophy, and it's this concept of work-life harmony. Tina Wells' story is super interesting, and it is so inspiring. She turned a business that she launched when she was just a teenager into an award-winning marketing agency. She led boardroom meetings as the youngest and sometimes only Black woman in the room and pursued her childhood dream of traveling around the world. Now, Tina is a business strategist, advisor, author, and founder. And through it all, she's crafted this method for maintaining work-life harmony. That is, she doesn't forgo joy and peace for productivity.

3:50And that's something that I'm constantly learning and also something that I can absolutely get behind. In her new book, The Elevation Approach, she shares her four-phase plan for work-life harmony, this flexible and foolproof technique that helps you meet your goals without sacrificing joy for productivity and progress. That is exactly what we are digging into today. So let's dive on in with Tina Wells. Let me introduce you to a podcast you're going to love. It's called The Shine Online and it's hosted by a former Gold Digger guest, Natasha Samuel, and brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals.

4:30Natasha interviews the brightest entrepreneurs to bring you no fluff advice, honest discussions about the mental health and lifestyle aspect of entrepreneurship and actionable strategies and success stories of those who have mastered the art of shining online. Natasha just covered this topic I think you'd love to hear about. She talks about when you're ready to hire a social media manager and when you're not, because hiring a social media manager isn't going to fix your social media problem if you're not ready and willing to show up and do the work too. Listen to The Shine Online wherever you get your podcasts.

5:06Tina, welcome to the Gold Digger podcast. I'm so excited to connect with you today. I am so thrilled to be here and so excited. Thank you. Okay. So before we dive into some of the goodness, the nitty gritty questions that I cannot wait to ask you about talking about things like work-life harmony and how we can find that relationship between life and work and what that looks like, I kind of want to know a little bit of context. Can you paint for me a picture of what your career path has looked like? I love talking about this. You know, I started out as a 16-year-old entrepreneur, very much an accidental entrepreneur.

5:49Like I didn't know I wanted to go into business for myself. Honestly, I wanted to be a fashion writer. And at 15 years old, I read an ad that changed my life. It was in the back of Seventeen Magazine. It was for a newspaper for girls called the New World Times looking for reporters. I submitted a column, you know, my brother word processor, my mom faxed it. I got a job as a product review editor and that really changed my life. And I went from reviewing products to basically marketing very fast. And for 20 plus years, I ran a marketing agency. So talk to me about what it was like putting yourself out there at a young age, kind of getting that little glimmer of success and what that turned into for you, because that is not where your story ends.

6:39No, I mean, ignorance is bliss, right? It was very true for me. You know, I loved fashion and pop culture. I feel like even today with what I do and what we're going to talk about in a bit, I still love style, fashion and pop culture. and it really, you know, I didn't know what I was getting into, but I was also writing what I want to call a teen wave. So I just want to like paint the picture for your listeners. When I started in 1996, this was like our original teen dream, right? So it was NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Teen People, Teen Vogue, Aeropostale, American Eagle, all of this teen culture was emerging.

7:16And I was the girl who had the insight on teens. And then as I grew up, this next emerging generation that everyone was talking about was millennials. And I kind of became known as the millennial whisperer. So it was a lot of right place, right time. Me just doing the thing I loved, but from the outside, it was, oh my God, she's got the intel. I was like on speed dial with the Associated Press reporter on youth culture. And so it was a great time for me, but I also didn't really take it very seriously because I just thought I was doing like, you know, living out my hobby. So talk to me about how that transpired into the work that you're doing today.

7:56And could you have even dreamt of this type of work back then when you were doing that and spotting trends and being on the speed dial? I absolutely could not have, because what I get to do today is literally, absolutely my dream come true. I mean, I am a product junkie, right? And so when I had my marketing agency, most of my clients were in a category we call CPG, consumer packaged goods. And so I spent time in stores, shopping aisles, on shelves, really getting to know product. And what I get to do today is build product that I really hope consumers will love. And so I never thought I'd end up there.

8:33I loved marketing for sure. I loved finding ways to talk about products others had made and never thought I would get to the place of making my own. And really the path to get there, which we're going to talk about today, was where I really experienced my first burnout. I really needed to make a change about three years ago. Definitely didn't think when I was in that crisis period of trying to reconfigure my life that I would end up on this side with, you know, the dream come true. What is the dream come true? Paint me a picture. What does today look like for you? It's definitely not fairy tale.

9:10I will say that. Like, I think I know I love what I'm doing because if sometimes if people had an inside look, I even talked to friends last night at dinner and they were like, this sounds crazy, you know, dealing with COVID and China and shipping. I'm like, yeah, but it's so thrilling and exciting. And at the end of the day, there's a customer and a guest on the other end who can choose to buy my product. And that validation is so exciting that I might create something that equips or inspires them. And so there are definitely elements of it that are not for the faint of heart, let's just say that, but the process of it, right?

9:48And I think for me, real work-life harmony, and I know we're going to talk about that, is this idea that all the things in our life work together. It does not, you know, balance for me is very antiquated. I would not say that I have a balanced life, but I have a very harmonious life and everything works together. And I think that is what's become the dream is I can fit in the things I really love. And that can mean like a day like tomorrow where I've got meetings packed and then I'm hopping a plane to go, you know, to Waco, Texas for the weekend because my 13 year old niece wants to go to Magnolia.

10:20Right. And so it's like we're going to make it work. And that's the kind of life that I think is available to everyone. If we release the idea that we'll ever have balance and really embrace the idea that we can all have harmony. I resonate with this so deeply. I remember at one point, I always grappled with the word balance. Whenever people threw it out, it just didn't sit right with me. I remember studying the origin of the word of balance. Balance is supposed to be a moment in time. It's not supposed to be something that's maintained or sustained. I feel like a lot of times we're constantly in pursuit of it and almost beating ourselves up because we can't find it when it's really not something that is practical for us to be in pursuit of.

11:05What was it like when you kind of said like screw balance, I'm going to figure out a different way? Well, it's interesting. It's been a long journey. So by 27, so this was 11 years into my business. That was the first time I can say I experienced a burnout. And I didn't know I was in the cycle and I, my elevation approach has four phases, preparation, inspiration, recreation, and transformation. And I was constantly in preparation and inspiration. And that really is like, I have a big idea. I'm learning everything about it. I'm socializing it and I'm getting wrapped in this vicious cycle and then I'm burning out.

11:41And what I realized the secret really was, was this idea of recreation and rest. And if you think about hustle culture that we've all been through, you know, the idea that we can rest and have a moment is so, or was, I would say was so counterculture. And I think when the pandemic hit, what we all realized was, oh, there's another way to do things, right? And that was full of its own drama and other stuff. But the good stuff we took away was, you know, I kind of liked that I could Zoom, make lunch for my family, have some family time midday, and then go back to work, right? So there were elements of it that really stayed with us or that we wanted to stay with us.

12:22And I think what we all started feeling was a little more harmony of work and home coming together. And there are elements, like I said, that need definitely need to go back to the way that they were. But there are other parts that were like, well, we don't want that. Because like you said, balance isn't achievable. Balance means the more I work, the more I have to play, right? Well, what if I don't want to keep adding more and more? What if I have a really busy work month? I just need to figure out how that fits with the other things I want to do, not add more stuff. Yeah. I love the point that you make too about kind of the last few years that we've walked through.

12:57I think a lot of people were really challenged because so many of us say like, when life slows down, I will fill in the blank. And we really were putting our character to the test because for the first time in all of our history, there was this collective pause for many, not for everyone, where we were really challenged of like, oh, I said I would, you know, read more or rest more or, you know, all of these different things. And we were forced to do that. And it's so funny that we're having this conversation today, Tina, because I was talking to a friend yesterday and she was taking the first day off of work in a long time.

13:34And she's like, I feel like my eyes are twitching. Like I just want to log in. And I said, I know that rest takes a lot of work for you. And I want you to honor that work towards rest. Walk me through what it has looked like for you being on this journey of wellness and discovering self-care, especially after going through this cycle of burnout. Yeah. So fast track back to when I first realized I needed recreation at 27, that was not the magic cure, right? I was still going to go on probably another 15 year journey with this. And so then I started realizing, oh, play movement, that was my de-stressor.

14:14And I remember being at a retreat in the mountains and I got a massage and the therapist was like doing Reiki. And he said to me after, I want you to know exercise is no longer working to de-stress you. He's like, it's not doing what you think it's doing. You need to find something else. And for me at that point, I thought the vacations and I It was doing the things and it wasn't working. And then, you know, about three years ago, my dad got very, very sick and we weren't sure if he was going to make it. Very thankfully, he's been with us. But what I realized when he was in the hospital that year for months, really, was dad is so happy and content with his life, with family, with his career, with everything.

14:57And I really started thinking and talking to him, but like, well, where does that joy come from? And that was what started resonating for me was the idea of creating joy. and rituals and the things that he was doing and how those things were showing up. And that's when I finally said, okay, I've got to work this. And to do that, I've got to start cutting out things. And that's what really led to me developing the book, The Elevation Approach to coming up with my 12 Principles of Instant Elevation. But it was the idea of like, I really have to work this. I'm looking at my dad. And it's that moment when you're sitting with your parent and you're talking about their life and you're witnessing it and saying, do I want to be this happy if I'm at the end or something potentially is happening?

15:40And how do I do that? I've got to reverse engineer it because what I'm doing now is not going to have me where my dad was at that day. And now he's here with us and joyful, but I just always remember that time of thinking I wouldn't be happy if I were where dad is right now and feel content and feel fulfilled. AI is such a hot topic right now, but how can you really use it in your business in a way that moves the needle? What if AI could take over tedious tasks like pulling reports, rewriting blog posts, and trying to personalize countless prospecting emails? Well, introducing HubSpot's newest AI tools, Content Assistant and ChatSpot.

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17:04One of my favorite moments was our team retreat in Arizona with the incredible women who helped me keep this business running. I also recently took the kids to Nashville during fall break and somewhere in between I squeezed in a trip to Puerto Rico with friends. We booked some of our most memorable stays this year on Airbnb. There's something special about finding a place that doesn't just look great in the photos, but actually feels welcoming the moment you walk in. That this feels right kind of feeling. If you've got trips coming up, whether it's a family vacation, a retreat, or a work trip, your house will probably be sitting empty while you're gone.

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18:58Go to shopify.com slash gold digger. Shopify.com slash gold digger. so talk to me about this four phase plan that you ended up developing because I feel like so many people are listening to this and they've had their own experience where you kind of wake up to the fact like nothing is promised what does this look like what really matters and does like the things that you're about to do today does that line up with what you say matters walk me through how you developed this plan and what that looked like? Absolutely. So first I thought about how I brought ideas to fruition. I was having lunch with a friend one day and I was talking about, you know, so fast forward to my dad being sick.

19:45I decided I needed a life change. I immediately closed my agency and went on sabbatical. And during that kind of walkabout time, I started asking myself a lot of questions about what I wanted. I had written middle grade fiction before. I wanted to get back to it. I ended up meeting a great team at Target. We started working on a project and I was telling a girlfriend about it. And she said, I wish I could do that. I have so many ideas in my head. I just don't know where to start. And that was really what started me on the journey to the book. And I thought, could I write a plan for my friend? I had taught business for years.

20:21I ran a program called Leadership in the Business World at Wharton, where I would teach 160 students a year, how to start a business. So I'm like, well, I know those core principles, but it's not just about business. It's about life. What if your big idea is not about starting a business? Maybe your big idea is, I want to take my family on a dream vacation. I think there's a process that we have to go through for all of that, still with the idea that we want work-life harmony. And that's where the elevation approach started. It's grounded in the idea that we must achieve work-life harmony. And then if that's the goal, how do we bring big ideas to life?

20:55And so it's four phases, preparation, inspiration, recreation, and transformation. And they're kind of what they sound like, right? Preparation is where you do the hard work to decide if you're going to move forward, right? It's where you declutter your space, you get curious, you know your numbers, right? And then you decide at the end of that phase, I'm either starting over, this idea doesn't make sense, or I want to move forward. And then in inspiration, that's the phase where you get social, where you go out and about, you meet friends, you say, hey, I have this idea, could you talk to me about it, you've done something similarly.

21:26Then you've got all the info. What we would normally do then is be off to the races, right? Got it. It's validated. Let's do it. Recreation says, no, let's pause. Let's do something totally different that has nothing to do with this big idea. And let's get rejuvenated. So when we go to transformation and we bring it all together, we feel good. And that was what was missing for me. I think for so many entrepreneurs and, you know, not just entrepreneurs, women in general, people who are so dedicated to their families, right? What do we do? We go, we hustle, we crush it for the people we love and we never transform.

22:03And so that was really the key for me. And once I learned how to work the phases, I realized I could bring ideas, big ideas to life much faster because I was doing it in a process and I also wasn't burning out. Hmm. And I bet you also enjoy the journey a lot more. Is that true? I enjoy it so much, but I also think because I have, like, I think everyone needs their own toolkit, right? Almost like a crisis toolkit that you can call on when things aren't going the way you want them to go. And so I now have these feelings. So it's like, oh, I'm feeling stressed. Is my inbox over X amount of emails?

22:41Okay. Well, I know it's really important for me to declutter my space. I've got to take a moment. If I can get that done, I'm going to go back to feeling the harmony I want to feel. And so that's the goal of the book is that we really, I can take you through that journey and you realize for yourself what creates work-life harmony and how to get back there if you ever feel out of alignment. Okay, Tina, there is this phenomenon that I've experienced with every author that has come on the show. When you are writing a book about the thing, God, the universe, your family, I mean, everything keeps teaching you the lessons that you seem to be writing about.

23:22Did you experience this? And what did that look like? Because I feel like it's like this way of like testing, like, do I feel strongly about this? Do I know about this? Is this what I truly believe? Like a book feels so permanent. Talk to me about that part of your journey. Oh my goodness. I wrote the book that I needed and I will need this for the rest of my life because that is, I am so, you know, I have a million ideas in my head at all times. I can be pulled in a million different directions and I need to work these tools every single day. You know, there's no like, you know, you're like, and I'm going to graduate to that.

23:58I'm not graduating from this because I know myself. And, you know, if you even saw my morning, I mean, like landing from Miami, running to the dentist, coming to like, I get it. And there's joy in all of it. And I know at some point today, I'll get a FaceTime from my niece and I'll get an Apple pay request to fund her trip to the grocery store, you know, and I love all of it. But I have tools that help me realize something's a little off, you know, I'll walk into my house for the first time after being on the road and say, what feels off? Oh, like I need to clean off my island. If I can just get my island clean, then I'm going to feel a lot less stress.

24:37And I can, you know, so like decluttering my space is really important to me more from a mental perspective than the physical value of it. And that act of saying, I'm going to do one thing for me for five minutes, that's going to make it really easy for me to function for other people. But I'm always going to need those tools. And what's great about the approach is you decide what your rituals are, You decide who your tribe is, who you need on your personal board of directors. It is such a personal idea that I'm asking you. And I'm kind of feeling like I'm your friend on the journey and saying, I'm doing this too.

25:11Let's do it together. Not me saying, do this thing, because I don't know what your rituals are. I don't know what your spiritual practice is. I just really believe you should have one. Right. And I'm also not telling you what that should be. But if you do the things and get the tools, I do believe you're going to get to work-life harmony and really that work-life balance. You know, the idea and as close to what we've thought about as being work-life balance, but really it's harmony. What would you say if someone's listening to this and if they're doing a gut check, right? I'm inviting you listeners to do a gut check right now and really kind of established where you're at because I feel like this is so powerful and it is, it's so personal, right, Tina?

25:57Like it's, it's one of those things where it's like a lot of times, especially as women, we kind of push through that discomfort or we kind of like let like fine be good enough. But what would you say if somebody is listening to this and they're checking in with themselves, maybe they haven't checked in with themselves in a while and they're recognizing that things are really out of balance. Things are out of whack. Their priorities are not straight. And if they're really being honest, like they can't sustain at the way or the pace that they've been going at much longer. Where do they begin? You know, I think the best place to begin is really step one in decluttering your space.