659: Curious About Going Alcohol-Free? Here Are the Surprising Results

25:32And so instead of being like, no, I'm not drinking right now, or, you know, just something like sad, like really lead with like, oh, you know, I'm taking a break and I feel amazing. Yes. Like, people can't argue with that. People can't be like, oh, here, have a drink and stop feeling amazing. True. I love that. And I think what that does is you'll find you can have different responses from people. So some people don't even care. Like they can't even, they don't even think about alcohol. It's just, it's just irrelevant. Right. Yeah. And then that's, you'll find some people are interested. They're curious.

26:04They might start asking questions. They are trying to really kind of, they're interested and they're trying to put you within their own mental model of if this would be helpful for them. Right. And then you'll find some people who are threatened or are cajoling you to drink or just being a little rude about it. And that is a big red flag. It has nothing to do with you at that point. They are feeling threatened about it or off about it because they might have their own insecurities about alcohol. And instead of everyone kind of just, you know, co-signing the behavior and just going along with the ritual, it's like the red flag.

26:41Someone's not doing it. What does that say about me? You know, like I also don't want to feel hungover tomorrow, but, you know, I've already bought into this. So like it can be really threatening in that sense. But I also think that what that ends up doing is it allows that person to start really introspecting into their relationship with alcohol. Why are they threatened by it? So for example, in a partnership, like if say the woman decides to go alcohol free or just take a break from alcohol, she might find that, you know, her partner continues to drink or just like, it's like, when are we going to go out again for drinks and stuff like that?

27:15And there's a lot of different ways to handle that. recognizing that it probably took you years to arrive at the stage that you arrived at to be able to go on that break. And that everyone's kind of on their own different journeys around it. But really essentially too, like your partner just might not have any idea of how much happier this is making you. And so I'll, I'll instruct my clients to just leave little breadcrumbs for their partners. Like, Oh my gosh, I slept so well last night. Or, Oh my God, I haven't laughed that hard. It's since like high school. I love this, you know, just like little breadcrumbs of how much better and happier they feel alcohol free so that their partner can really start to understand, oh, this is what makes her feel better and happier at the end of the day.

27:55And I think what often happens with both friends and partnerships is the deeper fear is that you're going to outgrow them and leave them behind. And that is a dynamic that can be present with any kind of change. When you become an entrepreneur and all of your friends are still working at a corporate job, they could feel the same fear too. And so I think in this case, it's actually really good to focus back on your friends or your partner. Focus on quality time with them. Focus on bonding. Now, in the extreme examples where you literally have nothing in common with your partner or your friends other than drinking, you might find that it just kind of does fall away and isn't able to be repaired.

28:34But I usually find that for most people, they have so much more that's bonding them and bringing them together than just alcohol. And there is a way to rediscover new things to do together or new ways to bond. So with my partner, for example, on date nights, we used to go out to sushi, drinking, wine, whatever it was. And we decided to run a half marathon together. So we started running on Friday nights. That was our date night. It was a run together. It was such a cool way of like spending time with him in a completely different environment. With my friends, I started going out for more coffees and even just sharing some of my deeper vulnerabilities around alcohol.

29:14Like, you know, it really didn't make me feel good. I felt like I wasn't able to, you know, live up to my healthy lifestyle and abide by my intentions. They were all nodding their heads. It was like the elephant in the room that we never talked about before, except for like only the highlights. And now we were all finally being real with each other, if that makes sense. Yep. Yep. I love that. I'm curious from like a clarity standpoint, what have you witnessed happens for your clients? Because if you think about it, a lot of people listening to this episode have businesses or side hustles or ambitions, and maybe they've never put together the correlation of alcohol and that clarity that you've talked about.

29:56Can you walk me through a little bit of that in terms of what someone might experience if they were to take a break or kind of take a step back? Absolutely. And I go over this really deeply in my book and divided into the body, the mind and the soul. So those are all the benefits you'll get. A lot of people have some conceptual ideas about physical benefits, right? Like, okay, maybe I'll sleep better. Maybe I'll have more energy. Maybe you'll just allow me to keep up my healthy routine better. So I think a lot of people understand that. It goes so much deeper than that though. Your stress hormone level changes.

30:29Like alcohol actually releases cortisol in our body. So we are stressed out to begin with and we drink alcohol and we release more stress hormones in our body. And we go through this as a cycle over and over and over again. So when you reduce your alcohol and stop drinking, your stress hormone level goes down because cortisol is no longer being released. We also have dynorphin that's released. It's kind of a neurotransmitter that's like the opposite of endorphins. It makes you feel really low and sad. And when I woke up every Monday morning after my weekend drinking, like that wasn't me. There was nothing wrong with me.

31:05I was experiencing a chemical concoction of alcohol in my brain, right? Like all of the neurochemical effects. And so often people don't realize that that low mood, that anxiety the next day, it's all actually attributed to alcohol. And those things last. It's not just the next day that you feel those things. Those things can course through your body for weeks after alcohol. So if someone drinks every weekend, even if it's just every weekend, no other days in between, they're still always in that cycle. So your stress hormones go down. Your neurotransmitters that govern happiness also go up because alcohol diminishes our receptivity to dopamine.

31:40our serotonin levels go down our GABA levels go down so you know physically it's not just you know the energy or the sleeping better your actual happiness levels like really go up and your stress levels go down now I'm not saying that stress doesn't exist for someone who doesn't drink but it's just like some things that used to feel like mountains start to be a little bit more like molehills and they feel like they are actually getting the emotional resiliency to handle and be more adept at solving problems because essentially alcohol is just numbing our emotions. It's numbing our feelings. It's numbing our ability to learn from those emotions and make those shifts in our lives to be more aligned with what we really want.

32:22So those are a lot of effects there. You know, I think also too, when we drink alcohol, part of us kind of knows, you know, like, like we actually wake up the next day, not feeling well, like nobody drinks alcohol and wakes up feeling like a million bucks the next day. It's just physically impossible. But somehow we've been kind of told this lie that it's so normal and you're supposed to do it all these occasions. And it's like our body can tell, right? Like you were saying at the beginning, our body can tell that something's off. And so I really think that like, that is our intuition speaking to us and we shove it down for so long.

32:55We ignore it. We just keep on doing what everyone else is doing. So I also find that when people start to finally listen to that voice, their inner wisdom, like that really strengthens their relationship with their intuition. All of a sudden, they're getting more messages. Like you should do this. You should write a book. You should start this business. You should do this initiative. Like they're really getting that messages. I've noticed that creativity goes up because you get so much more mental time back and energy that your brain isn't, you know, it's not like we're constantly thinking about alcohol, like we all need it or something.

33:28But just in that example I shared earlier, my mind was always in the mental gymnastics, The should I, the shouldn't I, like the criminating myself, ruminating, deciding. It took up so much space in my brain. And just imagine like the genius of the world, like Albert Einstein. Imagine if he just spent like 60 % of his mental energy thinking about a beverage. Like we would never have the theory of relativity. You know, like our beautiful mental energy is meant to create amazing things in the world and not be focused on a silly beverage at the end of the day. So I really noticed creativity goes up, intuition goes up, energy and good positive mood goes up.

34:07Courage also goes up, right? It takes courage to take a stand in this society and say that you're not drinking. It takes courage to order a mocktail at a restaurant or a bar. It takes courage to tell your friends. And that is the same courage you're going to need to make big steps and big inroads in your business as well. You take all of this, you know, and there's the confidence too, right? Like for me, like the first three weeks without drinking, I was like, whoa, like this has been my Achilles heel for so long. And I wasn't drinking for three weeks, four weeks. I was like, who the hell is this woman?

34:4150 days, a hundred days, you know, 200 days. I was like, she is a badass, you know? And then it started to change my sense of identity. Personally, I never thought I could launch a business. I never thought I could write a book and I never thought I could stop drinking either. And so when I like left behind alcohol and felt amazing and was just so happy, it wasn't around anymore. Instead of feeling deprived or sad, how I thought it would be, I was like, what other lies have I been telling myself? Like, why not me? Why not this next step? If I could do this, I could do anything. So I think it's what happens is this insane alchemy of these qualities of creativity and courage and, you know, just the desire to show up.

35:24I think that for me, I couldn't say this when I was drinking, but with so much hindsight and so much introspection, I always had really big dreams as a little girl. And, you know, that's scary. And you get kind of thrown into adulthood and you're just told to get a job and pay the bills. And alcohol was a way that I kind of like dimmed my light and dimmed the expectations of my life. Like I always wanted to write a book and yet I wasn't, you know, and it was just so much easier to open a bottle of wine than write the next great American novel. So alcohol made it like just really easy to stay stuck, to be in my comfort zone, to not try new things.

36:02And I've just found that like, it's almost like a symbolic metaphor. When you remove alcohol, you start to play bigger in your life. You take the center stage, you go after the things that scare you. And all of those qualities I just talked about and more are there fueling you to be able to go after your dreams. And I know it sounds like maybe an outlandish statement, but not only has it happened in my life, I've seen it happen over and over and over and over again in so many of my clients' lives and so many of my friends' lives or people I know who ditch alcohol. Their biggest dreams really manifest as they go through that process.

36:40It's just insane. I've known people who have launched businesses or grown to seven figures. I've known someone who quit her job and moved to France because she always wanted to. I have clients who buy like second houses or get promotions or start a nonprofit in their local community. It's just, you become this action taking badass. And I'm just, that's what I'm so excited about. It's not really the alcohol I care about. I don't care what people drink at the end of the day. It's making space for your bigger dreams. It's really allowing yourself to even discover what do I want? Like how many people in our society have no idea what they want?

37:16And alcohol kind of tricks us into thinking it's fun and pleasurable. It almost doesn't allow us to really know what brings us joy, what really makes us happy, what we really want out of the world. And I think just people have this such a beautiful self-discovery process as they're going on this journey. They start to recognize what they really want, what their emotions are telling them, what's unaligned or aligned in their life. And they start taking big, bold moves to shift and really live that dream life. Look, I've become kind of a systems nerd and anything that gives me more space in my day, I'm all in.

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38:31And they have a truly incredible offer. Business owners can get free business internet advantage forever when you add four or more mobile lines. It's simple with no contracts and no added fees. Visit spectrum.com forward slash free for life to learn how you can get business internet free forever. Restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas. I love that. I think that's so powerful. And I also think too, it's really interesting. one, the older you get, the less you recover from drinking. And two, when you become a parent, your children still wake up at 6am the day after. So regardless of what you're choosing, I often would joke that like parents need babysitters the morning after they drink, not the night they're drinking because children will still be there when you wake up.

39:21And it all just hits very differently. But it is fascinating because as you were speaking, a question that I've asked myself a lot over the last year is what would the best version of me choose right now? And that question has morphed into, you know, what would the healthiest version of me choose? Or what would the happiest version of me choose? And I think that it's really powerful. Like you said, if you're feeling these inclinations, or if you're feeling this desire, which I know a lot of people are, because the more that I talk about my own journey, the more people say that that's something they've thought about, or they've been wondering about, or they've been curious about, or they've been trying, it does kind of step you inside of your own knowing and trusting that knowing in a really deep way, even if it's just something that you set aside temporarily or experiment with.

40:12I think it's really powerful. Absolutely. I mean, it really is being hyper intuitive to your own body, to your own wisdom, to your inner guide, to just listen and to, you know, face all the fears that might come with it and go for it anyway. And really kind of strip away things that might have become outdated habits, you know, or outdated identities. Like, I love the way Tony Robbins sometimes explains identity, because it's like, what is our identity? And what version of us decided that identity? Is it the 18 year old version of us? And we're supposed to carry that identity for the rest of our lives?

40:48Well, I mean, that's a lot of times when we picked up drinking is in our 20s or so, and we just wear that. We wear that for the rest of our lives without ever questioning it. You know, we're allowed to evolve. We're allowed to let go of things that no longer serve us. We're allowed to align our lives to our deeper values and to our bigger dreams. And when you value things like health or mindfulness or consciousness or presence, like alcohol just doesn't fit in that picture. And it's going to feel like an incongruency, which will not feel good for people. It doesn't matter how much you drink. I like to say, I don't care if you drink 10 drinks a day or one drink a week.

41:23If it's not aligned with your deeper values and your bigger dreams, it's going to feel off. And you're allowed to explore that. I'm not saying everyone has to quit drinking, but you have the permission to just lean into that a little bit. Maybe take a break. Maybe read a book. Maybe listen to another podcast. Just where did you get all these beliefs that one must drink in their life? And what does that mean to you? And how can you kind of unpack that? Yeah. Yeah. Where would you advise someone to begin if they're listening to this and they're curious or they've been wanting to try? Where does somebody start in exploring this whole idea?

41:58Absolutely. So I'll give you two answers. First one is if you feel so inclined, I think a break from alcohol is just a magical thing because it really is experiential. Like these benefits, you know, people seriously feel high when they stop drinking. It can take a little bit for your body to rebalance. So the first week or two might be a little off, but like your sleep rebalances, you know, alcohol, just one glass of wine reduces our REM sleep cycles. We have around five to six every night and just one glass of wine can reduce them down to just one or two. So you could clock in a full eight hours of sleep and not be getting the REM sleep that you need and just be really exhausted and groggy the next day.

42:37You know, so all of these incredible things, you'll start to feel the benefits pretty quickly into your journey. The surge of positive emotions as your brain chemicals rebalance the, you know, energy and the restful sleep. And I think really what ends up happening too, is that self-love, self-esteem and self-worth are also repaired and rebuilt. You know, for me, like how you're asking what's the healthiest version of me do or something like that. I think of like future me and present me. And I used to always disappoint future me, you know, future me would wake up after drinking and be like, you really had another drink?

43:14Like, didn't you know I would have a headache today? Why did you do that to me? And now every single day I wake up, I feel loved and respected by that past version of me who was looking out for me. It's really repaired the sense of self-love I have, the integrity I have to actually do the things that matter to me. I mean, Jenna, this is super embarrassing, but there were some nights I didn't even brush my teeth when I drank. Like who wants to be a 30 something woman who doesn't brush her teeth that night. It totally erodes your sense of self and self-worth. I think that repairing my self-worth and going after what I really want and really nixing the things that don't serve me are also so key into just rebuilding that sense of self-esteem.

43:53So I think a break from alcohol in an experiential way will just be incredible for people. And 30 days is great. 100 days would change your life. My book has an eight-week plan for someone to follow. So that's around 56, 60 days or so. But you know what? Three days is amazing. Like if working out your sober socializing or your sober muscle is something that you haven't practiced yet before, it is like a muscle that needs to be worked out. Just going three days, if that's not within your normal habits, that's amazing. Like you are so much farther ahead than someone who's not even trying. And now, you know, you can take a break from alcohol and then really compare apples to oranges.

44:34You know, most people don't even get to experience this unless they're pregnant or something, right? Like we just pick up drinking and it's just something that is ingrained in us forever. But if you're not ready for a break, that's okay too. And I think that the step before that is to literally just lean in. If this episode was interesting for you or it just piqued some thought for you, I think that just means that there's more for you to like learn and to just become aware of, start asking questions around. So I would just recommend to read a book maybe or listen to another podcast episode about alcohol or maybe start following some alcohol-free influencers or something like that.

45:11Just allow your curiosity to continue. Just allow yourself to learn more. And I will say too, I think it's so interesting when I peel back the covers, there's so many people that I respect that I really admire that don't drink. Like Tony Robbins doesn't drink. Brené Brown doesn't drink. And I think for so long, like, again, we've been really told this idea that people who don't drink have problems or maybe they're boring or hyper religious or just these negative qualities that we don't want. And I really think it's the opposite. Like the movers and shakers of our society don't drink or, you know, it's so small in their life that it's basically irrelevant.

45:50Like if you also start to change what you think of drinking versus not drinking in our society, what status you attach to it? because we for so long attached status to drinking. You know, look at my wine cellar or I know all these Japanese whiskeys, like let's reverse it. You know, like let's attach status to being a non-drinker or to knowing your alcohol-free drinks or to just focusing on things that really matter to you in the world instead of a beverage, I think will also change people's consciousness that way. And my biggest hope for this too is like, not necessarily a world that doesn't drink.

46:24I mean, that's like, you know, that's a little far gone, but to have options. In five or 10 years, to be able to go to a bar and see that half the people are drinking, the other people half aren't, and everybody is okay to choose whatever they want. I once talked to this 19-year-old and it broke my heart because he was really into personal development and success mindset. He was super precocious and launching his own podcast, just an amazing young man. He told me that the one thing that's holding him back is alcohol. and he's not like problem drinking at this point. He's just going out with his friends on the weekend.

46:59He's in university. And he told me he doesn't see a way out of it. Like he cannot see a way out of it. He has to drink basically to be part of the tribe in his college. And that made me so sad because like we created that culture. We've propagated this myth over and over and over and over again. We're teaching it to our children that this is how you adult and our kids don't like it. And Generation Z doesn't like it. Like they're drinking less than anyone ever before. And I think that like, we're really just having a huge awakening in our consciousness of giving people more permission to decide what works for them instead of what everyone else is doing.

47:39So, you know, wherever you want to start, whether it's just having a deeper conversation or a journal reflection for yourself or reading a book, or you're ready to take a break, like you will not be disappointed that you kind of opened this Pandora's box in your life. I know I'm not disappointed and I love it and it's so fascinating to me because I don't know if this is forever or just for right now and I'm super open to that but it's funny too because I'm like I don't miss it like I just I don't miss it and it doesn't even sound good to me and my life feels full without it and so I absolutely loved this conversation and I'm so grateful you came on the podcast to share.

48:19Can you let everyone know where they can find out more about you, learn about you, get their hands on your book? Give me all of the places they can connect. Absolutely. And the book is a really great place to start because it's going to spell out all the incredible benefits you'll get from going alcohol-free or taking a break, body, mind, soul. And then it guides readers with an eight-week plan to really change their relationship with alcohol, change their subconscious desires, and figure out what really makes them happy in the world and how to live into their deeper purpose. So you can find Euphoric.

48:50You can type that into the Amazon or euphoricbook.com. And then if you want to learn about any more of my programs, if you'd like more guided support, I also host retreats for women in places like Bali and Puerto Vallarta. You can also go to euphoricaf.com. And then I'm also on Instagram at euphoric.af. Carolina, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. And thank you for this conversation. I can't wait to hear what our listeners think. Thank you. It's been such a pleasure. I absolutely love this conversation. And it reminded me of how powerful it is to just plant seeds of curiosity in our life.

49:29I remembered that just about a year ago, I did an interview with an amazing woman named Amanda White on this show where we talked about sobriety. We talked about alcohol's impacts on things like even our mental health. And when I think back to that, I think that that interview planted a seed in me that got me curious about what it would look like to give up alcohol. And so even if this conversation doesn't lead you to make a change in your life, I hope that it plants a seed of curiosity for you, something that might reap a reward or a harvest later on in your life. I am so grateful that you took the time to listen to today's episode of this podcast.

50:08Thank you so much for spending your valuable time with me. And of course, until next time, keep on digging your biggest goals. I'm over here giving you a virtual high five because you just finished another episode of the Gold Digger podcast. Did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, head over to golddiggerpodcast.com for show notes and all the discount codes from today's sponsors. And if you're looking for a new crew of movers and shakers like you to bounce ideas and ask questions, be sure to join my exclusive community for Gold Diggers on Facebook. The link's waiting for you at golddiggerpodcast.com.