661: The Art of Livin' with Matthew McConaughey

26:56So our Western way is we need more than 24 hours in a day. Come on, I can get 28. And I don't know, the math is they're just not giving more. It's 24. So we can play with daylight saving time all we want. We got 24 hours down. Yeah. All right. So we got a lot of things that we want to maintain and keep in the black, so to speak. For me, it's career, it's family, it's health, it's relation with God. And husbandry and fatherhood are in the family part. I'm constantly trying to check in on those. We're like, I cannot keep them all running at peak condition. Oh, friendship is the fifth one. You know, my career is going really well.

27:35I have to check in. I'm in the debit section on my friends. Sometimes when my career is going really well and I'm working and I'm back to back to back, line them up, I got to check in on my health. Sometimes when we're dealing with the kids and being a great dad, I go into the debit section and be a better husband. Yeah. So I'm trying to keep those. I can't keep them all running peak condition, but I'm trying to keep any of them getting too far in the red and maintain them. So I'm constantly trying to check in on those things. So whatever those four or five values of anyone out there, I think they're good.

28:06Name yours. You can check in on them, maintain them, tend those gardens a little bit. You know, introspection, it just cuts out all the, we have so much frequency coming at us all the time, more now than ever, which we can all admit. that social media were being, for the first time in history, told who we are by a bunch of strangers. You see it every day. Kids, enough thumbs up, they're going to have a great day. They're going to be highly confident. Enough thumbs down on the same subject, the same picture, they're going to, shoulders are going to hunch, head's going to be down, they're not going to have a good day.

28:46So it's just so easy to get puppeteered by the world out there. I'm going to say, retail therapy, everything's new and improved. Come on, you need more of these. You got one to be better you got 100 feet 120 feet be better it's racing after those things so it's easy to get caught on that that hampshire and just roll and tell me hey when i'm done let me know how i scored yes but along the way it's i i say this is my buddy when we talk about milk drinkers and beer drinkers if i think we're a bit we're a bit drunk on the more more more chasing. Go, go, go, go, go, go. And I'm not saying quit having a drink on the way of being drunk on that.

29:26I'm just saying, pause a minute and maybe have a glass of milk, a glass of water because you'll then be able to party longer and better with more people. Yeah. And so we just get blind to it. And how do you find that space? I've taken 21 day back packing trips on my own. That's not a reasonable thing to say, here's what everyone needs to do. it's not reasonable i gotta have trouble doing anymore i've got children but how we start our day how we end our day how do we have a little check-in with ourselves or our spouse or our loved ones through the day even if it's just five minutes a friend turned me on to this two years ago and it's been invaluable to write my friends and just say hey just checking in on how you doing and not want anything.

30:14Yes, yes. Because I only call on them, even if I hadn't talked to them in a year, because I want something. Yep. Just check in. It's okay to do that with ourselves too. Yes. Just checking in with you, buddy. I don't want anything from it. We don't have to go prove anything right now. Yeah. Look, I try to sneak in a nap where I can. I'm not very good at it. But boy, do I find the value in it if I can just get 15 minutes of shut eye in the middle of the day that the work I do in the afternoon is actually better, more quality. so yeah where do you find that place it's hard to find a place where you can be in a spot where the truth can land on you but we have to work at it we and more now than ever to just go okay everything's stacked up vertically on my shoulders i'm feeling stress i'm feeling pressure i feel overwhelmed i can't when's friday gonna get here yep when we get real context and take a breath and let it settle in those all those things that are stacked vertically which are inherently weight on our shoulders they lay down and they're lateral and all of a sudden we're like oh i just got to do one thing at a time skip to that lily pad then that one then that one and slowly just mark things off and then there's no not near as much pressure as i thought there was going to be oh look at things like maybe they're an experiment instead of i gotta get the results yeah i gotta result this is all result yeah and we get there and we talk about when you get there and you go oh it's not what i thought it was going to be that's the result for a second let's go back to the experiment the process of living and going that's when i talk about the difference between joy and happiness we put up happiness as a result if i get this then i will be happy and it's never what we think or we get there and we think it's a ta-da moment and it's not a ta-da moment it may be cool, but we immediately upgrade our ambition to another happiness that's on another mountain, maybe a little bit higher.

32:06So can we say, I want to have joy in the process of doing what I'm fashioned to do. I want to enjoy this experience of going after, yes, this headline I'm chasing, this goal I'm chasing. But also I think believing and understanding that. And when I get there, it's not going to be exactly what I thought it was. Yes. Yes. It's not going to be that. And I found that when we do something for the experience and the joy of it, with a direction, with a direction, a North Star, that we actually get more results. And if we don't get results, we can at least go, I had a pretty good time along the way. Yes.

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33:48can you believe that we're already wrapping up 2025 this year was packed with travel and so many new memories one of my favorite moments was our team retreat in arizona with the incredible women who helped me keep this business running i also recently took the kids to nashville during fall break and somewhere in between i squeezed in a trip to puerto rico with friends we booked some of our most memorable stays this year on airbnb there's something special about finding a place that doesn't just look great in the photos, but actually feels welcoming the moment you walk in. That this feels right kind of feeling.

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35:43Sign up for your$1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash gold digger. Go to shopify.com slash gold digger, shopify.com slash gold digger. Yeah. You know, I think that we live in a society where if you think about it, like, Let's say we planned a trip for our families and we were like, hey, we're going to go to the Maldives and it's going to be amazing. And you're going to sit by a pool and there's going to be a cabana and all the food and everything you want. But a lot of times we forget you're going to have to get in a cab really early in the morning. You're going to have to slough it to the airport.

36:20You're going to have to go through TSA. You're going to have to do all these things. And I think that our world is really good at selling destinations, but we're really bad at selling the process. And so when people get into the process of getting to the Maldives and you're changing time zones and there's all these parts of it that do not look like the beach or the cabana, we get frustrated and we forget that, you know, in a world that is so filled with highlight reels, we feel like we are the only people with bloopers anymore. Right. Right. Right. And so it's like what I love about what you teach and even just how you talk about it is it's like, no, there is this process, but like, if you can find joy in the process, even if the destination doesn't have the same view as it showed you online, you're still going to use that little 15 millimeter lens in the bottom.

37:11It was awesome. And you get there, you're like, right. So it's like, you know, it's just like one of those things where I've just been thinking so much about, like, I feel like we as a society paint the destination and we need to like unfold the process more that's part of let's admit the lies yeah yeah let's admit that we're being the stuff we're being sold has been photoshopped yeah absolutely let's admit that that water wasn't as blue when i got there of course it's not they did they put the mediterranean blue color in there in post-production yes let's admit that oh in the picture there was is a sunset view.

37:53I can't see the sun. Yep. And then, one, we can then be maybe wiser to what our expectations are, appropriate expectations. But if we do get down the line and we get to that place in the Maldives and it's not what we turn out to be and there's no, and it's inevitable. This is where we're staying, gang. Yep. How quickly do we go? Those son of a bitches. Thank God. This is going to be great though. How quickly can we do that once we see another option? This is what we're doing. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. I have a theory and I'm writing about it for my next book about our obsession, even unbeknownst to us, with extra credit.

38:32And that's part of that. It's that when things are sold to be shinier, there's an argument with Instagram that, wow, it's kind of unfair because everyone looks too happy all the time. Or the perfect filter is there. And I'm over here going guilty, but it's true. we're told to believe and look it's an i get it an entrepreneur spirit if you're not impressed with life create your own impressions we want that but we also have to go if i'm not getting off to reality yeah then i need to baseline a little bit because again they're only given 24 hours and this is the earth we're living on so again that art of living i think lies in the balance of going when we're faced with the inevitable this is the situation this is what I got to deal with.

39:18This is what that room is like in the Maldives. And I didn't get the sunset. But I'm not going, I don't have any other options. Now, how do I make the best of that? That's not a fool's errand. That's just a realist errand, I believe. But then also, on the other side, go, and if you leave there and you go, that didn't go as well as I wanted it to. That didn't go how I hoped it would go. Well, now do the inventory. Well, how do I next time, as an entrepreneur spirit, create a better reality? How do I project forward and see, I want that sunset view. Now, does that just have to do with that tree that they let grow?

39:51Or does that mean I want to find another place and I want to talk to someone there and go, is this really the view? Because I really want the sunset view. Maybe I'll do a little more checking in before the next time. And of course we'll show up and there'll be other things that didn't work out, but it's a constant process. I think of being okay with our reality when we're faced with the inevitable and this is what it is and dealing with that. And then also having an entrepreneur spirit to go, no, I want to create a better reality. I believe that it can be better. My destination can be better. I think you just brought up something that I constantly think about and something that I love to have your insight on is I can feel it in you.

40:33It's something palpable that I think you can feel when you experience people that have it, that like grounded peace, right? Like you have peace, like you enjoy your life. And I used to confuse this idea of being content with being complacent, right? The moment that I am happy and satisfied and at peace in my life is the moment that I no longer want more. And I feel like that is a struggle for entrepreneurs because a lot of times we're achievers, right? We want the extra credit. we want the more we're chasing after it. We're watching everyone else's opportunities unfold. And I've really discovered, especially in my journey as a mom, that like being at peace and content is the goal.

41:17I mean, you win when you feel those things. And it's been this interesting thing. And I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but as a mom and an entrepreneur, there are days when I just want to shut this whole thing down, live in the woods in Minnesota, have some chickens and collect eggs. And then there are days where I want to put the pedal onto the floor and see how far we can take this thing. Have you ever experienced that, that difference between contentness, complacency, all of those things? Hell yes. Many, many, many times. I mean, I go between all the time. Camille and I joke about it, but they're like, we'll be fine in the field.

41:56we'd just be fine yeah and i've become a very much an essentialist on that same time i'm like well i have to this convenient electricity that plug that really worked and then i said there's a really nice that fridge that's great that leftover that held the tupperware for a couple of days i like that that's part of that and i'm not gonna call it a tightrope i'm calling it more of a seesaw yeah i do have an entrepreneur's mind i do like to explore i do like to see what's over the hill. I learned some things to where I've come back to my own life and upgraded and gone, you know what, the way they do that, I think that would make our life happier and healthier.

42:35But I also have, most of the time have gone over and seen, oh, they may do it differently. And you know what, I actually prefer how we do it or in the family or how I go about work. I have people that tell me, you prepare too much. Why are you doing so much work on that? You just, what just And I'm like, no, because then I know if I do this is what's worked for me to get here. It's again, one of those time true and tested things in the past. I'm not willing to say, well, the new thing is I'm an expert if I say I am. Yes. We pay that. You can succeed by just saying. Why? Because I said I am. The world pays that symbol or that attitude.

43:14I don't want to go there. I'm preparing as much as I can for something as it led to a lot of it. is part of the engineering of things that have given me happiness and success in my life. I have battles with significance. I feel too addicted to achievement sometimes. Yep. I check with myself like, well, why were you so, you know, those days you're like, I just want to pedal the metal when I'm confident. I'm like, bring it all on. Do I overleverage myself? How about this? When you're talking to your assistant and you want to schedule stuff in those times, you're like, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then you're like, who did this to me?

43:48You're like, why did I do this to myself? I'm in one of those times where I want to go with the chickens in the woods. I over leverage myself. Even worse for women who are on a 28 day cycle. Let me tell you, there are times where you're like, let's go, baby. And there are times where you're like, what version was that? Yeah. I love achievement and I am ambitious. I want to be relevant. Yeah. I do have to check with myself and go relevant for what? And to who? Yeah. Achieve what and why? Does that achievement pay back and double down and scale my own integrity or is it a siphoning of my celebrity?

44:34Oh, that's a good question. Let me think. Why am I doing that? There's a lot of money, but I don't really believe in the product. Okay. Straight business. maybe it's a great business choice but are you going to kind of regret that one or is that on your resume going to kind of look your kids are going to be like why'd you do that now not trying to be puritanical i like my saturday night you know and it's fine to be loose it didn't siphon my integrity it's just it was something i wanted to do and maybe it was slightly irresponsible it's okay i'm not judging that but i have to check in on those things and i'm trying to sync them up trying to sync things up that what I do for my more is also more quality for me and my family and kids.

45:16And there are things that I might be able to hand down to my children to go, Hey, you want to keep this going? I started that me and me and mom started this, or you're going to keep growing this for us. This can go on for generations. But I do, like I said, a lot of this stuff that I'm talking about, even in green lights in the book and what we're talking about now, I'm not making straight A's in this stuff. I'm trying, still enjoying working it out in conversations like this. I'm trying to make social contracts. You and I are making one now where somewhere if we cross later and we're in a spot, we'll go, hey, remember that thing we talked about?

45:50Yeah. So if we can make the right social contracts with the right kind of people that can come and go, hey, kind of out of line there. You're not practicing what you preach. Oh, thank you. Or go, I know it. I'm having a tough time right now. Yeah. So I wish I didn't feel I have the bouts of insignificance that I have. I wish when I have them, I have to remind myself, you're not respecting your past enough. This is when I talk to people have midlife crisis. Yeah. I understand them. I could arguably be going through one myself right now. And I say, great. But what I think a lot of them, unfortunately, are about for people is they're not giving enough credit to what they built and done in the past.

46:33Yes. Yeah. Do it. Move on. Not looking over my shoulder. No, we built things. Give yourself credit for what you've built. Have more gratitude for that. You have more gratitude for that. It will have more meaning to you. It'll be more valuable to you. You will be more generous. I believe gratitude actually breeds generosity. Yeah. But we have to be connected to our lineage of our past of how we got here and respect that and give ourselves not necessarily a pat on the back, but a solid look in the eye and going, okay, you built some things that are worth preserving and taking care of. Good job. A lot of crises has come from not respecting anything in our past.

47:10Yeah. Yeah. Look, I've become kind of a systems nerd and anything that gives me more space in my day, I'm all in. And a reliable connection is a huge part of that because when the internet lags or cuts out, everything pauses and suddenly the simplest tasks take forever. I learned really early on that dependable internet, it's not a luxury, it is a must. Whether you're a content creator like me, a restaurant owner, or running a busy dry cleaning business, you need that steady connection to support your team and your clients. That's why I'm excited to share a solution for my fellow business owners.

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48:29You hustled harder than I think any author I've ever watched. What is something that you wish people would ask you? Because I feel like it's so easy to get asked the same questions. Is there something that you just wish like, well, no one's ever asked me about this thing and I believe it. Well, something that I think that I do love to talk about and I love to learn about and I have learned and still learn about is the privilege of the responsibility of being a parent. Yes. And that our greatest investment exports, if you want to call them, are children. And if we really want to change the world or the future or that projection, what do you really want to be an entrepreneur?

49:18Do your best to raise your kids the best you can. That's real entrepreneurship right there. And enough of us parents do that. And as you know and I know, I'm not making straight A's in that either. We just had a tough morning right now that had made no sense. And things got off the track. and we'll be back on the track this afternoon. And that just happens. But it takes a lot of effort being a parent. It's a hell of a lot harder saying no and following through on no than just saying yeah. But I believe it's valuable. Yeah. And it's some of the most valuable, I would say probably the most valuable investment we can make.

49:59And I just want to, I don't know, it's not old fashioned. If it is, so what? But the privilege and the pinnacle and awesome responsibility that being a parent is, man, if we could just shine a light on that and understand, man, I know it's not an immediate payment. Yeah. It doesn't immediately fill your bank account. But if we can pull it off, it pays more than the bank account down the line. It's also selfishly how we become immortal. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. And that's filling bank account, soul's account, all account. That's talk about spreading your lineage. Yeah. You know, the best representation of yourself is your, the child you helped put out into the world, you know, and there's no science to it and it's no one can do it perfectly.

50:49But I think we could all just remind ourselves, Hey, if I put a little more effort into that, I cannot go wrong. That's one of the non-negotiables. You can't go wrong if you're trying to be a more present parent or trying to be a better parent. It's never wasted time. There's a quote that says like, no external success is worth failure in the home. And I feel like that's such a powerful quote because especially for people that have achievements or accolades or people watching them, I always come back to that because I just feel like, sure, I can be an influencer of millions on the internet. But if I can influence these two little ones at my feet, that's the secret.

51:32Awesome. It's like it goes on forever and then they learn. Yeah. And maybe one day they have kids. And it started before you were here, started before I was here. It started with ours from however good or bad it was, what we could learn. There was something. And yeah, it just talk about the old term, pay it forward. That's the ultimate pay it forward. Yeah. And then also, you know, we touched on it earlier. about before we start judging, which right now we just judge everybody. And we don't even know what we stand for. We just know I stand for the opposite of what you stand for if you're on the other side.

52:08That's the default reaction that we're being sold. We're being told. I get it. It helps us have identity. It gives us a secure place in our echo chamber. But that's not the way forward. We got to admit that we like drinking the Kool-Aid, but let's admit it's Kool-Aid. I'm not saying quit drinking. I'm saying just admit it's Kool-Aid. Let's start admitting the lies that we believe that we're told. Let's admit the lies that we tell ourselves for convenience sake. Let's admit the lies that have been kind of paying us back for a while. I want to see how long this will do it. This is going to hold a hang in there.

52:45I'm not saying judge it. Then go ahead and laugh at yourself, but just the act, if we would just all admit it. I always say this. I think sometimes we give our species too much credit. I think we think sometimes we're more evolved than we actually are. Right. You know, and again, that's that entrepreneur spirit. Oh, our transcendent self, the ultimate utopian society. I'm all for it, but we're a long way from that. And I don't think we're ever getting there, but if we can keep pursuing and our generation can get a little closer, that's a win. So if we can just admit our shortcomings, admit our humanities and go, yeah, I'm kind of completely full of BS on that one.

53:26And that's okay. Yes. And okay. That's all I'm asking. Just admit, no judge. Don't judge it. Don't judge yourself and don't judge me for it. I won't judge you for it, but let's just admit it on the table. Yes. That's the first step to now going, okay, Now we've all had a laugh and admitted our lies and called out all these ones. And boy, OK, now we can start to have a conversation with ourselves. Now we can start to negotiate where we're going to go forward. But again, we don't admit those things. We're again living on that extra credit as if it's a reality. We're we're living on the fact that that Maldives hideaway does have that perfect sunset and the waters are that blue and the rooms are that big.

54:07when we know they're not because we went there. Yep. We're still living there. So we get there and we come back and we're like, I'm upset with reality. Well, you know, it was a lie. It was Photoshop. So have the dream, but we can deal better. And the beginning of dealing, I believe, starts with, let's just admit where we lie, the lies we believe. So tell me this. So we've talked about this idea of living, right? You have an amazing free event, The Art of Living. Talk to me about what that is and what someone can experience if they join. Yeah. So that's myself, Tony Robbins, Dean Graziosi, Trent Shelton, and Marie Forleo on the 24th, 9 a.m., our living event.

54:50We're going to get under the hood of some of the stuff we've been talking about. The Greenlights approach. You know, Greenlights was an approach to life book. Tony and Dean came to me and said, are you interested in making this more of a process? book. Like let's give some tangible tools for people to transform themselves. So here's how you can have your hand on the wheel in the lane of your story and the road trip that you're on in life. And you do have your hands on the wheel and the ability to steer where you're going more than you maybe give yourself credit for. Yeah. We're going to talk about how to make it more personal for you, for anyone, to apply it in your life.

55:34Tangible, as I said, tools to the process. Measurable tools. I think it's why it's called the art of living. I believe that there's a science to satisfaction that can lead to the art of living. You got to have the knowledge before the wisdom. You got to learn, to use a sports metaphor, you learn the plays before. It's an intellectual process first before it becomes an instinct. Yeah. So it's taking it from a learning and it will take some practice. It will take some inventory, take some introspection on everyone's part, as you know, and everyone out there listening knows what better entity to invest in than your, than yourself.

56:14We're all looking for more joy. We're all looking for, to be more of ourselves, to have some more clarity, even have clarity in what we don't know. You know, I always say like, well, I really want to know. Well, let's, Let's also part of knowing is going, I know what I don't know. Yeah. And go on again. That's okay, too. It's kind of like admitting the lies. That's what we're going to get under the hood of for four or five hours and do our best to make it applicable. Yeah. And understandable. In these times where now, as we said earlier, we can make some plans and trust in plans a little further down the road.

56:52We can project a little further than we have been able to for the last four years. Well, let's take advantage of that projection and see how we can get there and also see how to get back in our lane when we're off stuck in that one lane gravel road with all the potholes going, can you get me off of this? I just want some flat cement. I love that. I am super excited about your event. And I just love watching you step into the space because I feel like you have truly honored what has gotten you to where you are. And you have done the work of the introspection and the pause to really kind of unpack and figure out what are those principles that are universal that people can take?

57:39And how do we just keep on learning. I love that about you. You're like, I do not have all the answers. I am learning just like you. And I appreciate that in a world of experts, like you said. So I think that it's going to be a really powerful event for people to show up and attend. Yeah, that's our goal. I'm glad they came to me with the idea. It is fun to now lean into the, Hey, how do we make this practical? How is it a tool that you can use that she can use that he can use that I can use? And again, as I said, I'm using them too, and I'm learning here along the way. And that's part of the process that we're talking about.

58:15I don't think we ever, we're never going to get to the taught out moment. No, you never get to the, oh, I got it figured out. And it'd be boring if you did. Let's stay on the road. Yeah, I love that. Thank you so much for your time and your energy today. Thank you for writing your book. It is truly a legacy play in your life. I think it's a beautiful look at who you are and who you will become. And I'm just so excited for people to learn more about you at your event. Thank you for spending the time with me today. It was a great way for me to start my day. And I look forward to the next time. I don't know about you, but I could listen to him speak all day.

58:57In fact, I am saving a spot on my calendar so that I can do just that. His Art of Living event, it's live, it's virtual. You can join it in your sweatpants. But I'm so excited to see someone who tells, teach. I can't wait to watch him translate and transfer all of the knowledge and information and insights in a way that other people can take and apply. I hope you join me at the event. Again, you can join at JennaLivin.com. That's Jenna, L-I-V-I-N.com. Join me for the Art of Living event with Matthew McConaughey and friends. And thank you so much for tuning in to this special episode of the Gold Digger Podcast.

59:41Until next time, keep on digging your biggest goals. I'm over here giving you a virtual high five because you just finished another episode of the Gold Digger Podcast. Did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, head over to golddiggerpodcast.com for show notes and all the discount codes from today's sponsors. And if you're looking for a new crew of movers and shakers like you to bounce ideas and ask questions, be sure to join my exclusive community for Gold Diggers on Facebook. The link's waiting for you at golddiggerpodcast.com.