669: The Business of Health: How Your Well-Being Affects Your Bottom Line

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25:52I agree. And I feel like for busy moms and entrepreneurs, time is that thing that you never have enough of, but that's usually because you're in pursuit of money, right? So you're trading your time to earn money, but you're not willing to trade your money to get back time. And I feel like there's like that tipping point. And once you hit it, you unlock the freedom that you told yourself you'd get when you started your own thing. You know what I mean? I love that. So one thing you touched on that I want to go a little deeper on is how you have like a group of two for your friends. And as someone who has been in the public eye, someone who has, you know, gotten the kind things said about them and the unkind things said about them, what I really would love to talk to you about is this fear of success, because I think a lot of women have it because, you know, of course, failure is scary.

26:40That's scary for everyone, but success puts you in a position to be critiqued or discussed or to be confronted. What has your experience been like that? And how has that impacted you? And would you do anything differently? A couple of things. I'm glad you said that because I am from Kansas City, Missouri, right? And I am kind of like typical Midwest girl, didn't even know what Chanel, Gucci, any of those things were until like I met other people. Of course, they're there, but I just wasn't exposed to it. I was like middle class, lower middle class. So we were just trying to make it, you know, Dillard's Macy's was the jam.

27:14That was it. And so I know when I kind of became more known, people started to critique things like fashion stuff and stuff I didn't really care about. Right. And so again, I would say one thing I do differently is I started to kind of start putting a little bit more time and effort into some of that. But then I also would spend money on stuff that didn't matter to me, right? I didn't care about some of the labels, but people would make me feel like, because you're now in this social group where everybody is labeled out, that this is what you should be wearing, or, you know, oh my God, you know, that's what you're doing, that's what you're wearing, and I felt, I'm like, again, I feel like I look good in anything, right?

27:55I don't have to spend millions of dollars on it. Let's talk about it. Yeah, right, but it was troubling for me, because I, at one point, again, I started to, you know, how we talked about again, budgeting, everything, our emotional investment and what people think about us, our time, our passions, our money, I would then start wavering and believing that I had to buy into that. Like the critique that people were giving me, like what's wrong with your hair? Why didn't you get it done? Or what's wrong with your makeup? Why didn't you get it done professionally? Or what's wrong with your clothes?

28:24I would do, if I had to do over again, I would really not, because then it became, that's not my world. And I wasn't, I spent a lot of time on stuff again that didn't matter. And so I think I would, I wish I would have learned a little bit earlier, who am I and what do I stand for and what matters to me? And don't let people's impression of me change who I am, because then you become a caricature of yourself. And there were moments at which I was doing stuff that I'm looking back and I'm just like, why did I even do that? I didn't know. And people, and it didn't even work. Like I'm trying to like try something new and it was an epic fail because I didn't, I didn't know what I was doing.

29:00so I went back to just again if it looks good on me and I think it's pretty then I'm fine with it you know I love that we live in Duluth Minnesota so it's a small area and it's like we were joking about our friends all get these big cars and stuff and I was like around here you want like a Subaru with a rack on it for storage like and you know it's just like that's like you know I love living here because I feel like I get to experience the world with different ideals and different priorities, but come back home to like the root of it and be like, I don't own anything with a label. Like it's just, it doesn't add value to my life.

29:35And so to me, I'm like the things that add value to my life are comfort and convenience. Those two things I'm like, I will spend my money on all day. And security for me. So that was another thing. It was like, I felt like spending thousands of dollars on something is like a waste of money. It's a depreciating asset. So why am I even spending money? I don't even believe in that. I help people. I used to do financial peace university. I used to teach that. And so I really believe in, again, budgeting everything. And so for me to spend these exorbitant amounts of money on something that I couldn't even go and sell it for that same amount, it was stupid.

30:06But I got caught up in the comments. I got caught up in people's critique of me. And I just, again, it took me a while to learn. And if anyone else can learn from my mistake, I got a whole closet full of stuff, if you want to buy it, that I will never wear again, that I wasted money on. It didn't even look good on me. So yeah. What was your experience of being in the limelight? Like, was it positive? Was it negative? Do you appreciate it? Do you regret it or all of it? No, I actually think it's awesome because I think it's one, it's a blessing that people see you as important enough to say that you're popular, right?

30:42And so I really appreciate that. I think that's kind that people even see me, right? In this world of people who feel unseen. So I respect and honor that. And I'm grateful. On the flip side of that, the thing that I would say that has been, I guess, the troubling part is that people can be really mean. And I think they forget sometimes that it's just as fragile as they are. Humans are all fragile. We all have things that hurt. And so intentionally telling someone something that is critical, especially when they didn't ask you for that, like, what is, what's, it's just, you have no idea what impact your words will have on someone because they may just not be prepared at that moment.

31:22Perfect example on the flip side of that. I went to a fair, actually I had a performance to do. My husband is doing music now, which is funny. That's his childhood dream. He's in his 50s and God bless him and good for him. But we went to like a concert, like a, you know, one of his performances. And I met a lady who, again, this is the blessing part. She was like, you motivated me to go back to school. You motivated me to reconcile with my father. You motivated me to, you know, do some things. But then she said, it is my birthday. And so I was like, well, here's my all access pass. Go have fun.

31:53Go backstage, meet some celebrities, go have fun. And so she contacted me on social media and told me that day that she was actually suffering from like chronic depression. And this day that she was feeling like, why am I here still? And I'm saying that to say that she said that that which for me I'm just nice when I meet people of course you want to take a picture of me absolutely I was nice to her and she was having a day where she needed someone to be nice to her if I was mean I could have been that thing that pushed her over the edge because she was already there for people who are aggressive and mean and hypercritical celebrities what you don't know which if again if you watch tv you'll see people commit suicide all the time.

32:40People are suffering from depression, anxiety, PTSD. And you think that because someone's a celebrity, they can take it. Sometimes they're teetering on the edge and you say something, you can destroy them because everyone is fundamentally fragile. And so that's the part I think that has been challenging for me because some of the things I can take the physical, you can insult me physically, you can insult, you know, call me names. But when you start talking about my children or my family, my parents, it just really gets to be really, really hurtful. And it's just, I wasn't prepared for that. And it can be a trigger for me.

33:16And it's like, wow. And so it hits me. And I don't think people understand that, that hits people. I agree. And I also feel like that responsibility, because you're like, I signed up for this, but like no one else signed up for this. And that's where I'm like, give it to me, but like, don't bring in other people. I'm very cautious to share like even my friendships online and things like that. Cause I'm like, I don't want to bring people into the fold of this. Like I don't post a lot of times where I'm with people. Cause I'm like, I signed up for this. No one else did. And I think that's so hard.

33:48I have a question. So this is something my mom taught me. She was a nurse. So many people in my family are nurses. She always taught me to ask your doctor, what would you do if this was you? Or what would you do if this is your child? So would you, if your children wanted to go on a TV show like the one you were on, what would you say? I would say, I say yes to everything if it makes sense for you, right? I would ask them what's their why. I say even every year, every year of even the television show, I would always say what's your why for doing it again and doing it again. And that's what I would say.

34:21If the goal is just to be popular, that's probably not enough because you could be popular doing anything, right? But if it's really for a purpose. If it's like, again, I, you know, my father went to prison and he was, you know, suffered from substance abuse disorder. And my mom was a young, and they were young parents and we'd have a lot growing up and I'm a veteran, but most people who are veterans are actually men. And so I wanted to also for kids who are watching, give them, you know, cause I didn't see a lot of people like me or for my background. Cause I didn't even know how to become a doctor.

34:53I didn't even know if that was like feasible. Right. I didn't see a lot of that growing up. And so I wanted to show them that if I could, then you can too. But that was kind of the extent of my why. Like I really wanted to be aspirational, not because I think I'm someone special, but because I overcame. I made it. And if I made it, then anyone can make it. So what is your why? If your why is just to be famous and popular, then that's a double-edged sword because fame is a fickle mistress. And today you may be popular, but tomorrow you may not be. And if that goes away, are you going to be able to handle it?

35:25Because that's the part that people don't get. Just as much as people like you, they will not like you. And one little thing can change that whole parameter. So you got to be prepared for that. Yeah. Can you believe that we're already wrapping up 2025? This year was packed with travel and so many new memories. One of my favorite moments was our team retreat in Arizona with the incredible women who helped me keep this business running. I also recently took the kids to Nashville during fall break and somewhere in between I squeezed in a trip to Puerto Rico with friends. We booked some of our most memorable stays this year on Airbnb.

36:02There's something special about finding a place that doesn't just look great in the photos but actually feels welcoming the moment you walk in. That this feels right kind of feeling. If you've got trips coming up, whether it's a family vacation, a retreat or a work trip, your house will probably be sitting empty while you're gone. Have you considered hosting your home on Airbnb and letting it work for you? It's a simple way to earn some extra income that can be put towards a future trip or home improvement projects. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com forward slash host.

36:39When we were young, we dreamed of castles and fairy tales. And as we grow up, those dreams might shift into building something real, like starting a business. You need a website, payment systems, a logo, and a way to reach customers. It can all be overwhelming and confusing, but thankfully, that's where today's sponsor, Shopify, comes in. Shopify powers millions of businesses around the world and 10 % of all U.S. e-commerce, from big brands to folks just getting started. They offer beautiful, ready-to-go website templates so you don't need design skills to look professional. Their AI tools help with product images, descriptions, discount codes, and more.

37:17Shopify also makes it simple to run email and social campaigns so people can find you. And if you ever feel stuck, their award-winning 24-7 support is always available. Turn those dreams into... And give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your$1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash gold digger. Go to shopify.com slash gold digger. Shopify.com slash gold digger. one thing i have loved watching you do is you're going through a major rebrand with hot doc and i think a lot of business owners listening have either been there or might be there like it's time to pivot we need to expand or we need to niche down or whatever that looks like and you are expanding to reach and empower women of a certain age to follow their dreams and not allow limitations imposed on them by society just because of the things we've been talking about being a wife, being a mother, being a professional.

38:14Let's talk about this rebrand and this decision. What led to it? What has the process looked like? How have you prioritized it? Walk me through it. Well, again, I think what started it for me was that moment when I started to feel like I was a shadow of myself. But then when I speak to my peers, women who are kind of in the same category as me, they were all kind of suffering from that same thing. And so I felt like, again, And I needed to use my influence to help people who are going through the same thing I was. And it just became important to me because it was a voice that was in my head. This is what my friends and my family members needed.

38:52Right. And I mean, it's not that, of course, men don't go through the same thing. But for women in particular, we start looking at aging as a negative thing. We start thinking it's like, you know, the death of us. And I think it's actually the opposite. I feel like it's so empowering to be at a position where you now, because when we were younger, we didn't have any money. We didn't have opportunity. We didn't have influence. And so to be able to use those things to our benefit, not just for other people, too, but for our personal benefit, because, again, our personal wellness matters. And so that whole wellness journey was a big transition for me because every time I talked about anything like my birthday, what am I doing for my birthday?

39:29Let's go to Disney World. Why would I want to go to Disney World for my birthday? I was doing what the kids and family wanted. Right. I stopped even knowing what I liked anymore. I stopped figuring out or even thinking my voice and what mattered to me was important. And I think a lot of us go through that. But when that happens, that is not without consequences. And that is when, that's why a large group of our population, I'm 46 right now, we're suffering from anxiety, you know, depression. We're just chronically sad or we have chronic illnesses, but it all really goes back down to that fundamental, what is going on with you?

40:03and what are you going through? And when you get to it, you start realizing that it's really, we've been faking it till we make it, right? And now we've made it and we don't even know what we're doing here and we forget who we are. And so it's really all about redefining yourself and then also just being honest about perfection. Like this whole thing about perfection, it's the biggest lie ever told. And stopping to believe, you can be perfect for you, but stop comparing yourself to other people. What is your goal? What is your journey? What does that look like? Let's define it. Let's be clear.

40:34Let's be selfish. And honestly, by doing that, we're just also making the people around us actually happier because we're better for them. So it's not really selfish. It's selfless. One thing I love about you is I feel like too, you're kind of creating out of your own needs. So it's like you might be just one step ahead of somebody. I feel like a lot of times we feel like we have to have this all figured out. We have to be 20 steps ahead. We have to have, you know, climb to the top of the mountain before we can put our stake in it. And I love that you have created these businesses out of like practicality of like, this is what I need right now.

41:07These are the conversations happening in real time. What do we do? So have you been changing like your audience or your messaging or like, what does that look like? Well, that's one of the reasons why I actually opened my clinic and even the way that I even spend time with my patients. And it really came out of that need. It was that people, especially women, really needed to be able to voice what they're going through and their concerns. And so it's almost like I practice medicine, but also life coaching. And it's actually been great. And one of the things that I would say is that I had to find, again, was passion in my work.

41:42Because it does, no matter what it is that you do, whether you're a pilot or a podcaster or a physician, you start getting to this kind of like everything is routine. You know, everything else matters more than I do. Why am I doing this? there's no more, I'm doing it, but I don't really, I'm not giving 110 % anymore. I found passion because I felt like I was making an impact and I was changing people's lives. But it's not even about just me changing a person's life. I tell everybody, I hope at some point you fire me. You no longer need me. I've given you all the tools to succeed. And then you can go, each one, teach one.

42:16You go and then create your own tribe and empower other people to do the same thing. You learn the lesson, but you also teach the lesson. And that's my mission. I want to impact millions by starting with one, but then I don't need you anymore. I got it. I figured this out and we continue to do it and create this movement of you matter. I love that. What did it look like in terms of being on TV? Were you a savvy entrepreneur in leveraging your TV appearances to help grow your business? You know what's so funny? I struggled with that. I didn't want to become like this salesperson, like this, you know, like my Instagram or my social media was just like a series of me selling stuff.

42:56Right. It was just like, and so I tried to like, not use my platform to leverage my businesses, but I think ultimately I had to, because again, it was almost, so when I first came on the show, believe it or not, I owned a TCBY frozen yogurt store. Right. I had a fun business. I've always been an entrepreneur. I, you know, I flip properties. I've always done a lot of things because I believed again in being a woman who had her own money, right? And several streams of income. And I did not want to like peddle myself. But then I learned that it was not about peddling yourself. It's also about being honest about who you are.

43:31And this is what you do. And this is why I do it. And this is what I believe in. And so that's why, again, I started to also only spend my time and efforts on things I actually believe in 100%. I can't say I thousand percent believe in frozen yogurt. I thought it brought happiness together. I was it was fun because I had a fun business where people come and hang out with their families. And it was like a place that I can employ kids and like mentor kids. And it was just fun. It was like low stress. However, the passion wasn't there. And so, again, I had to just so now I'm passionate. I don't mind selling my products because my products are helping people.

44:06And my product is really you. You're going to be. But ultimately, I'm teaching you how to be your own product, how to become a student of yourself. And that's almost my mission. I teach you to be a student of yourself. When I ask some people sometimes, what do you want? They instantly would talk about their husband or instantly talk about their kids. Okay. No, no, no. What do you want? What do you like? Well, we, you know, and they just can't even get out of that mindset because that's what, if I see men, they don't do that. They don't do that. They're talking about themselves. Like, Like, oh, well, I like to hang out with my friends.

44:40I like to go to the cigar bar. I like to, you know, go golfing with my buddies. And when you talk to women, well, I like to be able to, you know, make lunch for my kids and put a little, what do you like to do for you? What brings you pleasure? Well, when I do stuff for my kids, but what about if the kids are going to camp? What about that week? What do you do that week that brings you pleasure? And it's so hard. They actually have to take a second to think about it because it's been so long. So that's what I do now. And I love that. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love that. I think it's so powerful because I think for so many of us, it's like you do forget that.

45:15Like me becomes we. And I think there's obviously times and places where that is the necessity. But I think so many women, when I think about your story and all the shifts and pivots you made, this theme of like identity keeps coming back to me where you have had to like clothe yourself in new identities over and over and over again as you have evolved. And I think women are scared of evolution and change because they have to change their identity. And that feels scary. So have you had any like identity shifting moments that you can think of? Because I just picture all of these different milestones in your life and you having to become someone totally different.

45:52I had to learn how to walk away and how to quit. I sometimes did not get that just because you start like, you know, you're in this whole. So I treat life exactly like I treat my parenting, right? I teach my kids, do what matters and do a good job at it. But there's moments at which something doesn't matter to you anymore. For instance, I have little girls. It's a thing that we put all our kids in dance, right? When they're little, like the girls. But if they don't like dance, I don't make them continue to do dance. And it was actually quite annoying because it was three days a week. I'm spending all my time at dance practice and the kids didn't even really like it.

46:26And so I made them finish their season. But then when they finished that commitment that year, I didn't make them continue dance because it wasn't their thing. It's not their journey. And so I had to learn how to do that myself just because I do something. It maybe worked for me when I was in my 20s or 30s, but it doesn't work for me anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. I trained for a fitness competition and I was working out two hours a day. But I had a goal and I did that fitness competition. I don't work out two hours a day anymore. I work out 45 minutes at most. You know, I do 150 minutes a week, three days of resistance training.

46:57I don't do that because I don't have that goal anymore. I had to learn how to stop doing stuff that did not matter and learn how to quit something that didn't work for me just because I thought it did. And I know I would say even especially in business, a lot of us start doing stuff because someone else did it and they were successful or someone told you to do it, but it didn't work for you. You're not good at that, right? But you keep doing it because you think you're supposed to, but you're not doing well at it. It makes you feel insecure. You're like suffering from imposter syndrome because you're like not doing, you're not successful.

47:27Someone else is, but that's their journey. That's their mission and vision. That's their gift from God. And I had to learn to answer that call and that call exclusively and not the rest of them. Stop letting people tell me what I'm supposed to do and not do what actually I'm supposed to be doing. It was tough. It was tough, but it took a long time for me to get there. But I am very quick to quit. I'm very quick to quit something. It's more about exploration. I'll figure out, like I It's the fitness thing. I'm not going to be a two hour gym rat. It's not my thing. Yeah. But I do work out and I keep myself and, you know, I'm healthy, but that's all I can do.

48:04I can't do two, three hours a day. I love that. I know. I feel like there's a line in my book that just says like, maybe you're not getting to where you're meant to go because you're working off of someone else's map. And I think there's such a tricky balance for us out there because there's so much good information and insight and education out there. but oftentimes we like adopt it without putting it through our personal filter. And that's where I think we arrive at places and we're like, this does not feel like I thought it would, or like, this is not for me. And it's like that sunk cost fallacy of like, well, I've already invested this much time or this much money.

48:38I might as well keep doing it. It's like, no, then you're just wasting more, more wasted more. Cause it's not your thing. Even in medicine, I don't do everything. I'm very quick to outsource. You know, when people come see me, they want to get this, this, and this. I was like, no, I can send you to someone who does that, but I don't do that. It's not my journey. I love that. Where can everybody find you, connect with you, learn more about your practice, your businesses? Give me all the places. So I am licensed literally all across America, several states. Chestamedicine.com is where you can find me for that medical consulting, or if you want to come see me in Atlanta, I'm at Buckhead.

49:12And Hot Dog Nutraceuticals is the name of my vitamin company and supplement company. And of course, I'm Dr. Contessa on all major platforms. So absolutely positively. And again, at some point, I want you to learn. I will teach you whatever it is that you want to learn, but I am trying my best to empower you with all the knowledge. I will not hold any of it back. I want everybody to win. I think it's enough for everybody. Yes. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. This was such a treat. Thank you. Thanks for having me. It was a pleasure. I love meeting multi-passionate women. Dr. Contessa is incredible.

49:51As we were signing off, I said, do you have any plans for the rest of your week? And she said, believe it or not, I am speaking on a stage and working on this new project. And I was like, no, I do believe it. Because she is someone who, like so many of us, has so many different passions and this zest for life of, I want to experience it all. I also just love all of the permission she gave us to reignite our own personal passions and to really explore what our identities are outside of the roles that we play or the people that we care for. I'm so inspired by this conversation. I hope that you are too.

50:25If you haven't yet, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review for this show. I absolutely love hearing from you. It is such an honor to be able to interview incredible people like Dr. Contessa and know that it will hit your earbuds. And of course, until next time, Gold Diggers, keep on digging your biggest goals. I'm over here giving you a virtual high five because you just finished another episode of the Gold Digger Podcast. Did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, head over to golddiggerpodcast.com for show notes and all the discount codes from today's sponsors.

50:58And if you're looking for a new crew of movers and shakers like you to bounce ideas and ask questions, be sure to join my exclusive community for Gold Diggers on Facebook. The link's waiting for you at golddiggerpodcast.com.