682: My Book Just Turned ONE! Exclusive Peek of What's Inside

0:01Today's episode is sponsored in part by Revolve and Spectrum. Revolve is my all-time favorite place to shop for my dream wardrobe. Head to revolve.com forward slash gold digger to shop my favorites and get 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger. Spectrum business keeps your business connected with reliable service you can count on. Visit spectrum.com forward slash free for life to learn how you can get business internet free forever. As always, you can find all of our amazing deals in the show notes. Now let's get into it. okay I have been on this ruthless pursuit to purge any clothes that I'm not actually wearing like if I haven't reached for it in months it's gotta go I am trying to be really intentional about what I bring into my closet right now which means I am only buying pieces that I know I will actually wear and use revolve just gets it though I'm literally wearing my brown autry sneakers from there right now and my new suede purse it fits my laptop in it so it's basically a fancy shoulder bag that works for everything.

1:02I love finding pieces like that. Things that look good, but also work hard for my actual life. Their holiday shop is live right now with all the good stuff. Sparkly party dresses, cozy sets, cute gifts, everything you need for whatever is on your calendar. And it's all in one place, which makes shopping feel way less overwhelming. Whether it's a weekend away, a big night out, or a holiday party, your dream wardrobe is just one click away. Head to revolve.com forward slash gold digger, shop my edit and take 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger. Fast two-day shipping, easy returns.

1:37It's literally the only place you need to shop from. That's revolve.com forward slash gold digger to shop my favorites and get 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger. Offer available for a limited time. So happy shopping. I've read countless stories that people bravely place into the hands of my DMs telling me they stepped out of not only their comfort zone because of how I show up, but also into their own beautiful life. Hey, my name is Jenna Kutcher and I am obsessed with all things business, marketing numbers, and helping you to navigate both the messy and the magical seasons of this thing called life.

2:16I'm a small town mama who took a$300 camera, grew a successful photo biz, and now I work from home and run a seven figure online business. I teach you the tried and true secrets to building a career you adore. Shy away from the real talk? No way. Money, hardship, growth, loss, and marketing are all topics we discuss here. Think of this as your one-stop shop for happy hour with a gal pal mixed with business school. Pull up a seat, make sure you're cozy, and get ready to be challenged and encouraged while you learn. This is the Gold Digger Podcast. One of Coco's favorite things to do in the entire world is to light a candle and sing happy birthday and blow it out.

2:53It doesn't matter whose birthday it is, or if there's even a birthday that day. We sing happy birthday multiple times a day when there is a candle involved. But today is an actual birthday and I want to throw a party for my book. Okay. Not a real party, but I do plan to eat some cake. My book, New York Times bestseller, How Are You Really? turned one this week. And let me tell you, I am feeling all the feels from hitting the top of the charts to selling over 100 ,000 copies to over 1000 reviews on Amazon. It has been a wild ride, but one that I have sincerely loved. Like it is hard to explain just how powerful it is to have your story in all of its vulnerable glory in hardcover for anyone in the world to read.

3:42And although it gives me a little bit of anxiety if I think about it for too long, it also feels important because our stories are our legacy. In fact, I dive into this very topic inside of my book's pages in chapter 14 of How Are You Really? In this chapter, I emphasize that the stories that we tell and the lessons we pass down are the mark that we make every day. I believe that sharing our stories can inspire others and make people feel less alone. And I encourage you to share your stories regardless of your qualifications or degrees or mindset blocks. Life is teaching us lessons every day. And you know what?

4:19How about you simply listen to the chapter and see for yourself? Now, of course, you can get and read the entire book by going to howareyoureallybook.com. But for now, let's celebrate the one year anniversary of my book, baby, How Are You Really? by listening to chapter 14. It's called What Brooke Shields Doesn't Know, Why Your Story Matters A Lot. I hope you enjoy this. And if you haven't yet, please pick up your copy or download it on Audible. I promise to narrate the whole thing for you. So if you're used to listening to this very show, go get your copy and tune on in. Now let's enjoy and preferably you enjoy with a little cake or at least a candle.

5:03If you're ready to dig your biggest goals with each other in person, mark your calendars for September 5th through the 8th, 2023 for HubSpot's annual inbound conference in Boston. There will be multiple stages featuring over a dozen industry experts, including Reese Witherspoon, Derek Jeter, Neil Patel, and more. You'll learn everything from sales strategy to AI and innovation, connect with the leaders, and the best part is you'll walk away with practical tips that you can put into action as soon as you get home. Tickets are selling out fast. So head over to inbound.com to get yours today. Chapter 14.

5:43What Brooke Shields doesn't know. Why your story matters a lot. When we women offer our experience as our truth, as human truth, all the maps change. There are new mountains. Ursula K. Le Guin. Mommy, tell me a story about when Coco was a baby, she whispers to me at bedtime. Coco's got a thing for storytelling these days and also for describing herself in third person. So I tell her everything. The sound of her coo, the curl of her toes, the sparkle in her smile. She wants to know what I was like as a baby, what her daddy was like as a baby, what our rescue dogs were like as pups. Origin stories we'll never know, but don't worry, I've got a good imagination.

6:38It's her way of understanding life and the new life that grows inside of me. By the time this audiobook reaches your ears, there will be a babbling baby in our mist, another soul to learn, another forehead to kiss. another story to tell. We all have the desire to be remembered, to leave a legacy of some kind, and to make some sort of mark on this world. Most of us want to leave this spinning planet better than it was when we got here, right? But so many of us spend our days busy and distracted, dripping with kids, work, or responsibilities, on hold with our internet service provider while wiping the coffee grounds and toast crumbs off the kitchen countertop.

7:25Just an average Tuesday morning, you know? But what if I told you that your legacy is unfolding right now, today, even while you're waiting for Jim, the technician, to restart your router? We tend to overplay the notion of legacy in our culture. We often think of it as a status thing, like our name on a building, a million-dollar donation to a good cause. Heck, even a hashtag would do the trick, as long as it's far-reaching, right? The bigger, the better. Legacy feels weighty, monumental, bigger than life. We see it reflected on TV and in movies, where discussions of legacy happen in a floor-to-ceiling library in some illustrious mansion between a grandfather and grandson, and there might even be a prized ring or a wooden box involved.

8:20Sunlight is pouring through the windows. Definitely some kind of stringed instrument crescendoing, scoring the scene. Whether the predecessor wants it or not, there it is. A big, promising legacy handed to them in mahogany or gold. I know that's the Hollywood version, but you don't really hear legacy come up in everyday conversations. It's not really discussed at the dinner table, and if it is, it might be met with eye rolls, like dad's talking about his retirement and legacy again. But legacy is all around us, every single day. Legacy is the mark we made, the mark we are working on making right this very moment.

9:05It's our story, no matter how big or small we think it is. It's not about conquering the world, curing a disease, or building a mass of wealth. Legacy, plain and simple, is what you leave behind. Legacy is a grandfather telling a tale of his first canoe ride while a grandson catches bass in his old fishing boots. A daughter digging through the attic and stumbling upon her mother's old journals, letters, and photos from high school. You walking through the city you love most, encountering stories on every street, names carved into the corner maple tree, or preserved in the sidewalk cement, or scratched into the diner's booth.

9:51Legacy starts in the simplest of ways, with a story. A good old-fashioned tale usually starts with once upon a time, and that line isn't just reserved for princesses or fairy tales. When we have the space to confidently share our stories that reveal our passions, illustrate our transformations, and pass down our hardest lessons, we open ourselves up to being fully known. Trust me, I've got proof. A story wrapped up in a single sentence, a changed life in just a dozen words. If I knew she could do it eight times, so could I. These words were whispered to me on a night in New York City. While most days I work from home in my yoga pants, some days I get to fly across the globe to enter rooms with pretty table settings and fancy dress codes.

10:47That's where I found myself on this particular evening, at an event where women from all walks of life were invited to celebrate the work they were doing. From women in media to philanthropists, nonprofit leaders to influencers, we gathered to kick off a new year, a new decade, in the company of other women who were dead set on impacting their world. With my trusty Spanx on under my sweater dress, I sat at a table surrounded by some of the most brilliant, accomplished women I had ever met. Wisdom gathered around the table, years upon years of it. I was astounded. As I overheard snippets of conversations being shared, trade secrets being swapped, encouragements being doled out, and connections being made, I wished there was a way to preserve them all, to save this moment in time, not just for us to relive, but for future generations to draw from.

11:47As I looked around the room, I realized that so much of the valuable knowledge these women had within them would leave the earth when they did. Their years of pivots and pain, trial and error, triumphs and treasures, it would all get buried right along with them like the gilded glory of an ancient king. All I could think about was how much this world could gain from each and every one of them while we all still had the chance. There was one conversation that left a mark on the evening and my life. I had been chatting with Jen Foyle, a global brand president for a major clothing company. She's kind and captivating, but has an obvious thick shell around her that likely got her to the place she is today, a trailblazer and a boss.

12:38As she asked me where my daughter was, I smiled. She's in Hawaii with her daddy. I flew in just for the event and can't wait to get back to the beach and clinked my glass to hers. She then looked me in the eye and said, did you know that it took me eight rounds of IVF to have my daughter Maggie? I totally froze and shook my head. I had no idea. I could, of course, relate in some way. The painful, confusing struggle of not having your dream happen and the pain of trying again with the same result was all too familiar for me. I felt all the words bunch up in my throat, wondering if it was too bold to reach over and grab her hand.

13:21I finally exhaled and asked her how many times she'd thought about giving up in the process, expecting her to answer something along the lines of a million and one. But she looked me in the eye, whispering strongly, never. I was dumbfounded. In vitro fertilization, IVF, is an intense process. It's emotional, incomprehensibly expensive, exhausting in every possible way. And it can make anyone believe they'll be eternally stuck in a hope and grief cycle. It threatens to wring you dry, chew you up, and spit you out. And a baby isn't even guaranteed. I was frankly stunned to hear a woman could throw herself in the ring that many times without crumbling.

14:08I couldn't help myself. I asked bluntly, how the hell did you keep going? Then she told me something I didn't expect. She said, after the seventh try, the doctor told me it was time to give up, that it was over, and that a baby just wasn't going to happen for me. I told him I wanted one more go around, one last try. Because once upon a time on the TV, I heard Brooke Shields' fertility story. She bravely shared with the world that it took her eight rounds of IVF to finally have her baby. I knew if she could do it eight times, so could I. I paused, trying to take all of that in. Thoughts filled my head as I sipped my drink again, trying to buy myself an extra moment before vocalizing any response.

14:56Can you imagine if Brooke had never shared her story? If she had kept that piece of life hidden away? Would Maggie be here today? Wow, I guess I never thought of that. No, I would have given up. 100 % was her answer. BRB got to go email Brooke Shields to let her know that a 15-year-old girl living in New York City is here today solely because she had the courage to share a painful piece of her life. And in doing so, she gave a stranger hope, a story to learn from, a reason to not give up. Minutes later, Jen kicked off our event and shared our conversation with the room full of women, some of them her employees and others her friends for years.

15:43Up until this night, she had never told a soul what it took for her to have her baby. Her right-hand gal found me later in the night and said, I know her like the back of my hand, and I had absolutely no idea she went through all of that. Vulnerability is contagious. As the evening progressed, I witnessed women all around the room ask questions and open up to one another. Slowly, we changed the topic from work or titles or achievements to enter that uncharted, how are you really territory with one another. Conversations around the table shifted deeper into love and pain and grief and struggle as we all began to really go there.

16:27To not let the night pass without learning one another's stories, not just the highlight reels, the real ones. There was this unspoken commitment to make the most of this rare momentum we'd built through our story sharing, truth telling, and unabashed vulnerability. a desire to etch a piece of one another's legacies on our hearts. I watched hope, curiosity, and belief take up residence in that room with a soft hum of true and honest conversation. This is exactly why our stories matter. It's why the tales of everyday women, our trials and our triumphs, our loves and our losses, can fill up rooms and stadiums and entire communities with enough oxygen to go around and then some.

17:18Looking for a new podcast to add to your weekly lineup? Check out Entrepreneurs on Fire, hosted by John Lee Dumas. Every week, JLD and his guests share practical strategies to fire up your business journey and create the life you've always dreamed of. No matter what goals you're digging this year, Entrepreneurs on Fire will inspire you to take action and give you the tools to get there. JLD has interviewed over 3 ,000 incredible entrepreneurs, including Seth Godin, Gary Vaynerchuk, Barbara Corcoran, Tim Ferriss, and so many more, including yours truly. You are bound to find the topic or the guest you're looking for.

17:54I loved his recent interview with Tyler Wagner on how to become a successful author. I honestly wish I had heard that episode before I promoted my book. Listen to Entrepreneurs on Vire wherever you get your podcasts. I think you'll love it just as much as I do.

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19:14Okay, I have been on this ruthless pursuit to purge any clothes that I'm not actually wearing. Like if I haven't reached for it in months, it's gotta go. I am trying to be really intentional about what I bring into my closet right now, which means I am only buying pieces that I know I will actually wear and use. Revolve just gets it though. I'm literally wearing my brown Autry sneakers from there right now and my new suede purse. It fits my laptop in it so it's basically a fancy shoulder bag that works for everything. I love finding pieces like that. Things that look good but also work hard for my actual life.

19:48Their holiday shop is live right now with all the good stuff. Sparkly party dresses, cozy sets, cute gifts, everything you need for whatever is on your calendar and it's all in one place, which makes shopping feel way less overwhelming. Whether it's a weekend away, a big night out or a holiday party, your dream wardrobe is just one click away. Head to revolve.com forward slash gold digger, shop my edit and take 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger. Fast two day shipping, easy returns. It's literally the only place you need to shop from. That's revolve.com forward slash gold digger to shop my favorites and get 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger.

20:26Offer available for a limited time. So happy shopping. With one little shift, my life began to feel longer, more expansive. I know it sounds dramatic, but it all started when I questioned something that I claimed about myself for years. I had said journaling isn't for me. I would look at my graveyard of unfinished journals and feel like a failure. My intentions, they had been good, but I simply didn't enjoy the experience of journaling. But then something clicked. I created a five-minute daily practice and my daily reflection journal was born. Now I want you to experience the life-changing habit too.

21:03Grab your daily reflection journal by going to howareyoureallyjournal.com or you can send me a DM on Instagram with the word reflect and I'll send you all the info on how to get your hands on a copy. It's a one page per day journal that gives you enough space to open your mind, respond to the open prompts and reflect on your day. There is so much magic in a five minute daily check-in. Start your new journaling journey with me and get your daily reflection journal, plus a free journaling masterclass to help you get started on your journaling path. When you do, you can grab this at howareyoureallyjournal.com or hop onto Insta and shoot me a DM with the word reflect.

21:46When it comes to telling our stories, we often pass off the responsibility to the one with the loudest mic or the best voice or the biggest audience or the greatest accolades. We feel that in order to make an impact, we need a signed degree with a gold foil stamp, a bunch of letters after our name, or an online presence in the thousands. But that's simply not the case. Life is teaching us lessons every day. We are shaping our legacies, one brave choice at a time. Most of the life-changing things I've learned didn't necessarily come from people with multiple degrees. I learned that that part didn't need to be a qualifier.

22:33Many lessons came because people decided to share their stories and experiences. I mean, it won't surprise you I don't have a degree from Body Confidence University and my undergrad wasn't in podcasting. Beyond posts of cellulite or TMI stories going viral, I've read countless stories that people bravely place into the hands of my DMs, telling me they stepped out of not only their comfort zone because of how I show up, but also into their own beautiful life. I've read tales of women who have taken one small spark of hope from one of my blog posts or from a podcast episode and fanned it into their own awe-inspiring flames.

23:18I've encountered stories of women who didn't lose hope after loss because they caught a glimpse of my smiling, giggly miracle. So let me approach you with a little tough love, because if you left this world today without sharing your story, then that would be a tragedy. Tragedies happen all on their own, without our permission, without warning. So when the pen is in our hand, why not write a good story? I want to be super clear. You could be Brooke Shields to someone. You could be responsible for the existence of someone's long-awaited Maggie or for someone's newfound confidence or for making another human feel a little less alone because they see a bit of their own story reflected in yours.

24:11What if the things that have happened in your life, those moments where you find yourself diving deep into a world you didn't plan to be a part of, those passions that come out of left field and wake you up in the morning, the obsessions you can't shake loose, what if they were the exact things that give you this chance to use your story to change the course of someone else's day? or even their life? What would it look like if you took all of the things you've been through and dared to share what you've learned along the way to save someone else time or heartbreak, to help someone rebuild, to help someone find joy, to help someone feel seen?

24:55Here's the writing prompt for this chapter. How are you, really? What stories do you need to tell? What moments have transformed you? What dreams have you fought for, celebrated, learned from? Write one down today. Keep it close to you until you encounter someone who needs to hear it most, even if that someone is yourself. When you find that someone, share that story with all your heart. Pause here to unclench the pressure of feeling like every story has to be a good one. They don't always have to end with happily ever after. Not every part of your story is for everyone. Some pieces are just for you, maybe for now, maybe forever.

25:45Not everything that happened to you wove a beautiful color of thread into your life. There are undoubtedly many things you should have never had to face, and even more still may come your way. Your story isn't yet finished, which means you can ditch the pressure to wrap it all up and tie it into a pretty bow. Not every story needs to be shared in order to have meaning. As we learn from the moments we've been through, the movements that carved out who we have been and who we are now, the cuts and scars that line our bodies, the words that we have replayed, rewritten, repurposed, we make new stories for ourselves.

26:29As we share our stories, we liberate ourselves into seeing the potential of that pain and rebuilding we've walked through and how it may be used for a purpose, even a seemingly small purpose. A story of healing delivers a little piece of your healing to someone else. I firmly believe that good lessons have a certain law of physics to them. they multiply. As we internalize a bit of what we've learned, we leave a mark on not only ourselves, reminding us that we're worth listening to, but on our communities and, by extension, our world. It all starts with a deep breath and the courage to speak into trusted spaces.

27:14It's diving below the surface of the normal responses to the question, how are you, and getting a little messy going instead for the how are you really. This is one of the many reasons I chose this title for my book, because it might be awkward to ask or answer that question, but when asked, it invites raw honesty. So where do you find the courage to share your story? Start with the spaces you're already in. Maybe it's when you're recounting to your child the story of the first time you felt left out. Or telling a friend about the time you went on a terrible date but liberated yourself to be who you truly are and not who the stranger across the table wanted you to be.

28:01Or unboxing your career struggles over a pile of nachos with a co-worker. Your words don't have to be big or perfect or tidy to mean something to someone else. Your story not only liberates you, but it invites those who are listening to participate. The moment Jen shared her story that night in New York City, the whole room was invited to move past the how are you straight into the really part. When you say, I feel safe to share these words with you, or I love you so here is the story I want to tell you, or I have something to say that I think you might need to hear, everyone around you can see they're free and safe to do the same.

28:47The silly stories that make you smile, sweat, cringe, or cry share a bit of how you've become who you are. When you share your failures, every mess has the potential to turn into a message. When you share your scars, you expose the parts of you that have worked so hard to heal. When you share your triumphs, you invite others to celebrate the victory with you. And while your life may never be covered in a docu-series one day or live on the pages of a book, your legacy, your story when shared has the power to make someone else feel a little less alone. In a world filled with a billion hollow connections, true vulnerability like that is a gift.