696: The Secret to Staying Present While Sharing Your Life Online

0:01Okay, I have been on this ruthless pursuit to purge any clothes that I'm not actually wearing. Like if I haven't reached for it in months, it's got to go. I am trying to be really intentional about what I bring into my closet right now, which means I am only buying pieces that I know I will actually wear and use. Revolve just gets it though. I'm literally wearing my brown Autry sneakers from there right now and my new suede purse. It fits my laptop in it. So it's basically a fancy shoulder bag that works for everything. I love finding pieces like that. Things that look good, but also work hard for my actual life.

0:35Their holiday shop is live right now with all the good stuff. Sparkly party dresses, cozy sets, cute gifts, everything you need for whatever is on your calendar. And it's all in one place, which makes shopping feel way less overwhelming. Whether it's a weekend away, a big night out or a holiday party, your dream wardrobe is just one click away. Head to revolve.com forward slash gold digger, shop my edit and take 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger. Fast two day shipping, easy returns. it's literally the only place you need to shop from. That's revolve.com forward slash gold digger to shop by favorites and get 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger offer available for a limited time.

1:15So happy shopping. I just love this idea of not posting in real time and taking a minute away from that content so that you can get really clear on the objective of it and why you're sharing it in the first place. Hey, my name is Jenna Kutcher and I I am obsessed with all things business, marketing, numbers, and helping you to navigate both the messy and the magical seasons of this thing called life. I'm a small town mama who took a$300 camera, grew a successful photo biz, and now I work from home and run a seven figure online business. I teach you the tried and true secrets to building a career you adore.

1:51Shy away from the real talk? No way. Money, hardship, growth, loss, and marketing are all topics we discuss here. Think of this as your one-stop shop for happy hour with a gal pal mixed with business school. Pull up a seat, make sure you're cozy and get ready to be challenged and encouraged while you learn. This is the Gold Digger Podcast. It's crazy to think, but for the last 12 years, I've been a content creator and I definitely wouldn't have given myself that title over a decade ago, but I have been showing up online for years, publishing content, sharing my life, growing my business from what I wear to what I ate for breakfast, my favorite marketing strategies, to the realities of being a CEO and a mom.

2:31In today's age of social media with constant connectivity, there is a lot of pressure to capture and share every moment of our lives as if we're curating our own reality show for others to watch and consume. And it's so easy for it all to get convoluted. Where does your life start and your content end? And how blurry are you willing to let those lines get? I think that pressure is only heightened for us as business owners who create content and use these free platforms to market our businesses and or our personal brands. With every post published, we're making a connection. We're letting people in.

3:07We're hopefully making an impact. As a writer and a photographer, it is so easy for me to imagine my life through the lens of the content that I can create and share. It's just natural for me, almost like a director directing a movie scene. That's how my head can sometimes feel when I'm thinking about life and content. And while sharing moments and stories online can be a wonderful way to connect and inspire, I have had to learn how to create true boundaries around what is my life and what is content. How do we separate the two? So today I'm sharing some tips that I've learned over the years on how to find the balance between staying present with those who matter most in our lives while still sharing our authentic and interesting lives online.

3:51Are you ready? Let's dive on in. Recently, my team went down to a four-day work week so we can spend more time in the sun and less time in front of screens. In order for us to be able to do that, we have to work smarter and not harder. That's why we're so excited about HubSpot's integrated AI tech. It's helping teams like ours automate the more tedious parts of running a business like doing research, summarizing information, writing copy, and more. Recent research shows that marketers are already slicing time spent on admin tasks in a half thanks to AI from five hours to two and a half hours per day.

4:27Just imagine with all that extra time, you could be joining us with a four-day work week too. Start saving time in your business with the help of the AI power tools built right into HubSpot CRM. Learn more and get started today at HubSpot.com. So today I was actually driving to the orthodontist to pick up a retainer and I was listening to a podcast. It was a Q &A episode on a show that I like to listen to. And the host of the podcast was answering her audience's questions. And one of the questions was, what is it like to be a content creator for a personal brand? And I loved listening to her take on it because she talked about how crazy is it that you can get paid just to live your life and share your life online.

5:10But then she also touched on the fact that it can sometimes be a challenge to separate what is content and what is just meant for living and experience. And she talked about how oftentimes when she's like cooking a meal or doing her hair or getting dressed that she has this thought in the back of her head, like I should be shooting this as content. And I so related to that because I think that for a lot of small business owners, especially small business owners who have a personal branded aspect to their business, it can be really murky in terms of what is meant to be lived and experienced and what is meant to be shared.

5:46And I don't think we always get it right. I was on a podcast the other day and I answered the question about balance. I just don't think that balance exists. I often study the origin of the word when I feel like I am failing at this notion of balance. Balance isn't a state that is meant to be maintained. Balance is something that is meant to be achieved for a moment in time. And so as we dive into this topic, I think it's important to remember that it's okay to feel out of balance, but it's the awareness around that aspect of your life that will help you find better harmony in your life. Why am I saying all this?

6:22Because a lot of times as brands, we start to think about things as content, right? We maybe start to share more of our personal lives in an attempt to connect or be authentic. And a lot of times we can get caught up in the content. This has absolutely happened to me over the last decade. And I feel like I'm coming from a really healthy place at this stage of my life right now, given context and some of the recent changes I've made in the way that I approach social media and sharing my life online. So the first thing that I would just say is we have to really separate our life from our content, your life and you living it isn't just meant to be content, live your life and document it.

7:06Maybe it can become content, but I genuinely think we have to approach this subject matter of starting with our lives first content second. And if you are a content creator, it might be flip-flopped right now. And you might be listening to this and realizing, Whoa, like I have been thinking about my life or my days or my experiences from a content first standpoint. And I totally think that if we can approach it all from life first content second, it may help us find that state of harmony in a much better way. Have you ever witnessed people? So we were recently at our lake house, enjoying a morning on the beach, overlooking Lake Superior is just this beautiful scene.

7:46And in the hour that we sat there sipping our coffee with our girls while they were throwing rocks into the water, we witnessed multiple people go onto the beach, take a bunch of pictures, and then walk off the beach. They set up these beautiful scenes, only they didn't enjoy them. In fact, it was so fascinating to me to watch it unfold because I know that at times in my life that had been me. And there was this one sweet couple and the husband was taking a million photos of his wife. Thank you to all the Instagram husbands out there. And he would hand her the phone. She would look at it. She'd adjust it.

8:21She'd tell them what she wanted different. And then they just got up and walked away. And it was like, man, what a missed opportunity to enjoy this beautiful scene and this beautiful moment. Like to me, it triggers this thought of like, if this is so beautiful that you need a picture of it, imagine how beautiful it would be for you to enjoy it. Right. And it was so interesting to just kind of watch it. And it's so funny. I just saw a meme the other day and it was like this hilarious video of this woman with her eyebrows raised. It was like your wife, the minute she decides to set her phone down and you're still scrolling.

8:53And I think a lot of times when it comes to phone use and content creation and doom scrolling and Instagram, it's really easy to judge people when you're in a healthy place, right? To notice the unhealthy behaviors. But when you're in it, a lot of times it just goes by unnoticed. And so I feel like having that sort of awareness is huge. But something that I often think about is if this is an experience worth photographing, it's an experience worth experiencing. And that kind of pulls me back into the moment of like, wake up, pay attention and notice. So here are some of the ways that I've kind of shifted my approach when it comes to social media and the way that I share my life online and the way that I think about content.

9:37So one of the things that I've done for years, and I've shared about it on this podcast before, is that I challenge myself to film and share just 60 seconds a day. So remember when Instagram stories were just 15 seconds long? In my mind, I'm thinking four frames a day. It could be four Instagram stories. It could be one reel. It could be one long Instagram story. It's not a lot to let people into just one minute of your life. That's like 0.069 % of your day, just one minute. And I feel like that's a good amount of content to be sharing, especially if you're someone who doesn't often upload or share content.

10:15Think about sharing and letting people into just one minute of your day. That can give you that state of connection that you might be craving and also help you have a true brand, meaning a personality behind your offers without adding a lot of work or pressure to your plate. So I often think about, especially when I'm feeling uninspired, how can I let people into 60 seconds of my day? Just let them into my life just a little bit. What does my day look like and how can I do that? It's not a heavy lift, but it can really help for you to get comfortable showing up online and it can allow you to create content that allows you to connect.

10:54Now, another rule that I've done for years and years and years, and I tell people about this all the time because I I think it truly can shift the way that we use social media, but also how we feel about it and the intent of it in our lives is that I never post in real time. So this is something I've done for years and years and years, especially when for almost a decade, I only shared professionally shot images. This has just always been my go-to way of sharing, but I think it can really shift the way that we look at social media and content. And so what do I mean by this? So do not post in real time means get the shot, shoot the video, and then sit on it.

11:35Don't shoot it in Instagram. Shoot it on your camera roll. Very seldom am I actually shooting content in Instagram. A lot of times I'll shoot it on my camera roll and then I'll just wait on it. So like, for example, if you're out to dinner and you want to share your dinner experience, take the photo and then put your phone away. Like, don't just set it on the table next to you. like put it away. My friends and I, whenever we go out to dinner, I will literally bring a purse with, and I will hold my purse open and I'll make everyone put their phone into my purse so that we can just have really undistracted conversation.

12:11And so what I love about this is if content is important to you, if it's something that you think about, get your shot and then put it away, keep your devices out of sight. One thing that Drew and I will often do is if we go on a date night, we will actually leave our phones in the glove box. Does it mean we don't get content over date night? Sure. But does it mean that we get undistracted time together? Yes. And so one of the things that I think is just powerful is so many people are so used to shooting their content on the app and then, okay, now we've got to caption it. Now we've got to add a link.

12:43We've got to do all these things, which pulls you out of that moment that keep in mind was so beautiful. You wanted to document it and share it in the first place. And so when you can create the content, sit on it, and then share it when you have more intentional time, it can make such a difference. I often try to ask myself before I pull up my phone to post anything, is this a good time? Is it a time where I can be undistracted? I'm not missing out on life. I'm not missing out on my children. I'm not missing out on quality time. Is this a good time to be on my phone? And I think even just having that one second pause to ask yourself that question can often reveal maybe places in your life where you are often distracted or you're stressed out or you're trying to get content out that feels important to you, but it's pulling you out of your life.

13:31And so when you don't post in real time, it gives you that break from that immediacy of sharing and it allows you to do this next tip. So before posting anything, I asked myself these three questions. Why does this matter? Who is this content for? And why should anyone care about this? And I love these questions. So why does this matter? Maybe it is something that is meant to connect. Maybe it is something that is meant to drive conversions. Maybe it is something that is meant to give you a business result. And so why does this matter? You want to be able to answer the question. Like what is the goal or objective of this content?

14:13The next question, Who is this for? Now we know it is very easy for social media and content online to be very self-serving. Is this for an ego boost or is this actually meant to help inspire, serve, educate, give humor to the people that are following you? Who is this content for? If it is only for you and your ego, it might not be the right content to share. And then lastly, what is the point of this? Or how do I make somebody care about this? We have to keep in mind that as we're sharing on social media, we are giving people this tiny glimpse. If it's an image, we're giving them a glimpse into a millisecond of our day.

14:51If it is a video, it is usually giving them this slight glimpse into our lives. And so what is the point of this? And so getting really clear on why should anyone care about this? And is there an opportunity to help them care about it further, whether it's through your caption that you're sharing or your call to action or the way that you are sharing that content. And I think that this is a powerful way to look at content because it allows us to get clarity around, okay, why am I sharing this? And who is it for? And what impact is it making, whether it's on someone else's life or on your business and getting that clarity simply through asking a few simple questions before you go to post can help your strategy, but it can also help you understand which moments are just meant for you on your camera roll and which moments should be shared online.

15:39For me personally, I usually will shoot content throughout the day and then I generally will go through my camera roll once my kids are in bed and 90 % of what I shot in the day is going to live in my camera roll just for me and my own personal memories and I share about 10 % of them. Only 10 % of what I shoot, even maybe less than that, can pass the test of answering those questions of like, why does this matter and how do I provide the context required for someone to get something out of this content. And so I just love this idea of not posting in real time and taking a minute away from that content so that you can get really clear on the objective of it and why you're sharing it in the first place.

16:22You can't dig your biggest goals without a little hard work, which is why I bet you'll love listening to the Hustle Daily Show brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network. Hosted by Zachary Crockett, Jacob Cohen, Rob Litterst, and Juliet Bennett, The Hustle Daily Show brings you a healthy dose of irreverent, offbeat, and informative takes on business and tech news. With short 10 to 15 minute episodes released every day, you're bound to learn something new this week. From updates about meta and AI to how Domino's is flipping traditional pizza delivery on its head, listen to The Hustle Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts to stay up to date on what's going on in business and tech.

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19:02Okay. I have been on this ruthless pursuit to purge any clothes that I'm not actually wearing. Like if I haven't reached for it in months, it's got to go. I am trying to be really intentional about what I bring into my closet right now, which means I am only buying pieces that I know I will actually wear and use. Revolve just gets it though. I'm literally wearing my brown Autry sneakers from there right now and my new suede purse. It fits my laptop in it. So it's basically a fancy shoulder bag that works for everything. I love finding pieces like that. Things that look good, but also work hard for my actual life.

19:36Their holiday shop is live right now with all the good stuff. Sparkly party dresses, cozy sets, cute gifts, everything you need for whatever is on your calendar. And it's all in one place, which makes shopping feel way less overwhelming. Whether it's a weekend away, a big night out, or a holiday party, your dream wardrobe is just one click away. Head to revolve.com forward slash gold digger, shop my edit and take 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger. Fast two-day shipping, easy returns. It's literally the only place you need to shop from. That's revolve.com forward slash gold digger to shop my favorites and get 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger offer available for a limited time.

20:16So happy shopping. The next thing that I think is so helpful when it comes to content creation that can simplify the entire process is figuring out ways to capture your life, even the boring parts of it. So I have started shooting a ton of content that is just for us of our day-to-day lives, where it means I'm setting my camera up against a bowl on our kitchen island and just capturing what it's like to make breakfast in the morning. Or today we were playing Duck, Duck, Goose, and I set my phone down on the floor and just shot a little bit of it. And these are some of the mundane parts of my life, but this is what I want to remember.

20:55I think a lot of times when it comes to content, we get caught up in this notion of like, I only want to share the special things, the beautiful things, the perfect things. I know that was something that really haunted me for a long time of like, I want this to feel so editorial and perfect. I want it to be the perfect shade of white. I want all of these things. And when I look back at my camera roll, I'm like, but like, where is the life? Like, where is the messiness? Where is the joy? And so something that I've been trying to do is just setting up my camera and just shooting some of the more mundane, boring parts of my life, but like the parts of my life that I'm living.

21:29And don't get it twisted. I'm not doing this all the time, but a lot of times I'll think, what is one minute of my day that I could capture that just like shows me my life in this season, whether it's, you know, getting Quinny up from a nap or, you know, snuggling with them on the couch or like, what is that? Because I want to look back at those videos and be like, this was my life, not just reserved for beautiful vacations or extravagant locations, but like my actual life. And here's something interesting that comes with that is that when you shoot your real life, I think that those are the most beautiful memories to have, but also those are sometimes the moments that people want to see.

22:08Those are the most relatable aspects of your life where people are like, wait, she's just like me. She does laundry. She's wiping down the countertops. She's, you know, organizing her closet. Like just some of those mundane things are the things that we connect with the most. And so when we get caught up in this content creation process, where we're only showing the best of the best and the highlight reel and the glamorous sides, people often can lose that disconnect that maybe connected them to us in the first place. It was so interesting because I was talking to one of my best friends and she often struggles to show up online.

22:39She's like, I just don't get how you do it in an authentic way. Like it just feels like I'm literally walking through your day with you. And I was like, Oh, that's awesome. Like that's what I want for people to feel. And so I challenged her. I said, people want to see your real life. People want to see you making your coffee or hear what you're eating for breakfast or get a sneak peek into your routine behind the success that you show. I love when I get to see people in their homes because then all of a sudden, if I'm listening to their podcast, I'm imagining, oh, I know where they're recording it.

23:10Or if they're talking about a conversation that they had with their spouse or their partner, I'm like, oh, I can imagine the couch they were sitting on when that conversation happened. And so I challenged my friend. I said, if you want to add more authenticity to your feed, think about just shooting little bits and pieces of your life outside of the work you do outside of the products or services that you offer to let people in. And what's awesome is, is I gave her the challenge. I said just 60 seconds a day. And when I see the content she posts where she's doing this thoughtfully, I know, like I feel more connected to where I know her audience feels the same way because a lot of us get caught up in, I'm only going to show up when I have my makeup on, or I'm only going to show up when I have my hair curled, or I'm only going to show up when I'm dressed for an interview and things like that.

23:56And that's awesome. And I totally get how that feels. But if we're looking at it from a content standpoint, people want to see your real life. And I will tell you, undoubtedly people connect more with your real life than the beautiful highlight curated polished stuff. I'll just tell you that right now. So one thing that I've been doing is as I've just been shooting little clips of footage throughout my life, I created a photo album in my phone's albums of just B-roll. It's considered B-roll, those behind the scenes clips. And what's awesome is, is a lot of times I will pull that content and use it for reels that I'm making or videos that I'm creating, or to be like the background of a Instagram story that I'm sharing something for.

24:43And so that content really comes in handy. It doesn't take any extra work to shoot it. Just set your phone up, hit record, get, you know, a couple minutes of a clip, crop it down to 10 seconds. And that's just letting people into your real life. It's not taking a lot of work. And what I love about it is that when your phone pings you of past memories, you're going to look back and be like, that was my life. Like that was the actual life I was living. And so I just challenge you to do that, to just document your life in that beautiful way. And Hey, on top of it, a benefit of it is that you might be able to use some of that as content and a way to connect with people on a deeper level.

25:19So the next thing I want to touch on is boundaries. I have this line in my book and I think about it all the time when it comes to boundaries, because I think a lot of us struggle with boundaries, especially women, feel like we were painted this idea that boundaries are these barriers, things that keep people and things and joy out of our life. But in reality, boundaries keep us in our life. I was just talking to one of my best friends and we were talking about how recently both of us have had separate arguments with our husbands where our husbands are like, you need to put your phone down. And it can get so tricky when you are someone who creates content online, because again, when you are on your phone at times you are working now, not all the time, but at times.