706: One Sentence That Changed My Biz… And My Life

0:01Okay, I have been on this ruthless pursuit to purge any clothes that I'm not actually wearing. Like if I haven't reached for it in months, it's got to go. I am trying to be really intentional about what I bring into my closet right now, which means I am only buying pieces that I know I will actually wear and use. Revolve just gets it though. I'm literally wearing my brown Autry sneakers from there right now and my new suede purse. It fits my laptop in it. So it's basically a fancy shoulder bag that works for everything. I love finding pieces like that. Things that look good, but also work hard for my actual life.

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1:15So happy shopping. I have to keep this in mind when I am prone to over complicate things or toss more when things now get complicated or hard. I now ask myself, what would this look like if it were easy? Hey, my name is Jenna Kutcher and I am obsessed with all things business, marketing numbers, and helping you to navigate both the messy and the magical seasons of this thing called life. I'm a small town mama who took a$300 camera, grew a successful photo biz, and now I work from home and run a seven figure online business. I teach you the tried and true secrets to building a career you adore.

1:55Shy away from the real talk? No way. Money, hardship, growth, loss, and marketing are all topics we discuss here. Think of this as your one-stop shop for happy hour with a gal pal mixed with business school. Pull up a seat, make sure you're cozy, and get ready to be challenged and encouraged while you learn. This is the Gold Digger Podcast. Today, I'm recording an episode on something that has become a mantra for me. It is these four words that have totally transformed the way that I'm approaching my life right now and my business. And I'm excited to share them with you because I found myself sharing this sentiment to so many other entrepreneurs, other moms, other people who are ambitious and driven.

2:38And these four words have absolutely changed the way that I'm approaching everything from now on. And they came to me from a very, very wise human being. So let me tell this story and then I'll help you apply this exact phrase to your own life and business so that you can start to feel more ease and less friction. Let's dive on in. When it comes to running a thriving business, nothing matters more than generating revenue. I mean, money talks, right? But salespeople aren't just closing deals. They're tracking down leads, they're forecasting growth, whipping up reports, managing contacts, creating content crunching numbers.

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3:59This episode is sponsored by Ritual, whose team of scientists and nutritional experts are dedicated to your daily health. Visit Ritual.com slash golddigger to get 30 % off your first month of daily essentials. That's Ritual.com slash golddigger. Okay, so before I dive into the phrase that changed my business and my life, let me provide a little bit of backstory and context. So if you've read my book called How Are You Really, you might recognize this name. So the name is Thea. And Thea has become a trusted friend, a loved advisor in my life. Now, the reason why her name matters and she matters is because she was the person that inspired me to write my book.

4:40It all happened in a really interesting way. And if you want to hear the full story, you need to go read my book, grab it wherever books are sold. It's called How Are You Really? But I met Thea when I booked massages for mine and Drew's anniversary in a tiny town in northern Minnesota when we were trying to celebrate during the pandemic. And Thea is a very intuitive person. She is naturally intuitive. She has a lot of gifts. And she is someone that has just the most beautiful, unique energy about her. And I booked our massage having no idea who Thea was and having no idea how the trajectory of my life would change after that one hour massage, but it did.

5:20Now, if we go all the way back to when I first met Thea, she said a line to me that changed my life. She said, there's something you need to do and you're not doing it. And I need you to go out and do it. And out of that thought came my book. The minute she said it, I knew it. I knew that I needed to write a book. I opened up a doc that night and started typing. And that book changed my life. And hopefully my book changed your life. So Thea has obviously stayed in our lives as a friend, as an advisor, as someone who has really gotten to know the depths of who we are. We just absolutely adore her.

5:54We went out for fish tacos with her the other night. Like we just love Thea. And so this summer when we were up at the lake, I started thinking of her and I was like, I need to schedule an appointment with her because there's something really special when you sit down with someone who is very intuitive. It's not a case where they are telling you answers or revealing things about your life. They are more so listening to what you're saying and kind of inviting you to come home. And I feel like when I'm with her, she just affirms the things that I already know to be true or the things that I'm already thinking in my life.

6:29It's just this beautiful, beautiful experience. And so here's the story behind the story. So I booked a call with her because I was struggling during the summer with this one thing. So one of my best friends, you probably know who I'm referencing. She is so ambitious. Like I absolutely love that about her. We often joke about how differently we are wired. I think there are two types of entrepreneurs. I think there are the people who are achievement based entrepreneurs. And then there are people who are lifestyle based entrepreneurs. The achievement based entrepreneurs are in pursuit of like more, more, more.

7:03They want to just like outdo themselves. They want to see how far they can take it. And the lifestyle entrepreneurs, they want to work to be able to afford the life that they want, but they focus more on life than work. Now she is in the achievement based entrepreneur. I am the lifestyle based entrepreneur and together we go together like peanut butter and jelly. But sometimes when we are so close to each other, we rub off on each other, which can be a really good thing. I think it's beautiful in relationships. But this summer, my achievement-based friend was going through this incredible training.

7:34So she was hiring a consultant to figure out and plan the next three years of her life. So she was really sitting down strategically, looking at numbers, looking at what she can do, looking at her plan for three years. And we talked daily, every single day. And so as she was doing this process, she was sharing a lot of the behind the scenes with me, which was super interesting. but as she was doing that I started to think about my own three-year plan and I don't know if anyone can relate to this but as a mom of young children I have such a hard time envisioning a year from now two years from now three years from now like my kids are changing every single night I feel like when I wake them up in the morning I'm like you grew you changed like you are not the same person you were even yesterday and so the thought of trying to figure out what my life was going to look like in three years, even though I wasn't the one who hired the consultant, I started to feel this unease because I was having such a hard time, even envisioning like what that next stage of life will look like.

8:37And it was so interesting because as I was like feeling this friction and, you know, listening to what my friend was doing and trying to think through, okay, like what would this look like for me? And, you know, even three years ago, I'd never imagined I would release a book or be building a home or things like that. I think that a common theme in my life, which is so beautiful and so blessed is that oftentimes I can't even dream big enough to encompass what my reality is. And so sometimes I struggle with envisioning the future. And so as I was feeling this friction and this unease and kind of just like losing a little bit of sleep of like, I don't know how to envision this.

9:14I decided I'm going to go sit down with Thea. So I call her up, I get on her books. I go and sit at this sweet little porch. We're overlooking Lake Superior. And she says, why are you here? And usually when I go to see her, I don't have like a specific thing in mind. I'm like, okay, whatever comes up, let's just talk about it. And she's like, no, no, no. She was not buying it that day. She's like, there's a reason why you're here today. And so I said, okay, here's what's going on. And I kind of explained everything that I just explained. And I said, you know, I'm just having trouble envisioning the future.

9:49You know, my kids are growing so fast. I do not want to have any regrets around the time I spend with them and the quality of that time. And I was telling her, and I said, you know, my business is at this beautiful place. Like we are crushing numbers, but we're also in this rinse and repeat style business, which is something that is beautiful, but it's kind of, you know, boring sometimes. And I was kind of walking her through, you know, my team is amazing. I feel really good in my marriage. Like there are all these different things going on in my life. I feel like our family is complete. I feel ready to move on from that stage of life.

10:25And so I'm kind of just walking her through all of it. And she's just listening and taking it all in. As we were just talking about my inability to think forward, we also started talking about work. And she said, what are your favorite days of work? And I lit up and I said, my favorite days of work are days where I have nothing on my calendar. Like I work and I work really hard, but I love having the freedom of time and fluidity. Like I hate meetings. I hate zoom calls. I hate agendas. Like that kind of stuff really stresses me out. And I don't know if it's my ADHD or just the fact that I love to like try to find flow state.

11:05But I was explaining to her, I was like, gosh, I just like my favorite days are just days with nothing on the calendar. And so she goes, well, how often do you have those days? And I was like, well, not often enough, but I'm thinking about batching my work so that I have more of those like free days. And she goes, well, how often do you do a sacred day? And I was like, wait, what is this sacred day? And she's like, it's like a day with nothing on your calendar. And of course my brain goes, oh, like those days where you can work. And she's like, no, like a day where you don't work and it's just reserved for whatever you feel like.

11:35And I literally started laughing because I do not remember the last day that I had where there was nothing on my calendar and nobody needed me. Because on those days, I'm always fully immersed in motherhood, right? Like I'm bouncing between CEO and mom life constantly. And so she starts to explain this idea of a sacred day. And immediately my mind is going through all of the reasons why this would be something that could not work in my life, right? Like, you know, my husband's a stay at home dad, which is a huge privilege and blessing. But I cannot imagine telling my husband who's a stay at home dad and saying, sorry, babe, I've got my sacred day, like I need a day to myself without giving him the same privilege, right?

12:19Like without giving him that same experience. And so then I'm like, well, that's impossible because we're both juggling parenthood and there's no, we don't have any other help. Like what would this even look like? And so we start talking about that and she's like, well, why do you not have help in your home? And I said, you know, we're very protective of our own energy. Like we love to like be transient. We love to travel. We haven't found someone that we trust. Like there's just all, again, all the objections of why we haven't done that. And it was really interesting because as I was saying it, I started thinking about how resistant I was to get help in my business and how I even wrote a chapter about that in my book about how it took someone three times of asking if I needed help and life to knock me on my knees for me to say, I need help in order to get it.

13:10And I've learned that lesson in business, but I have yet to learn it in life. There's a point of pride, I think for myself and slightly ego that we have been able to raise our children just us two. We obviously have the support of my parents, but it's not consistent. And maybe once a month, they'll watch the kids or if we have a trip, which is like once a year, but we've never had a nanny or any consistency in terms of childcare. And obviously with a stay at home dad, there are so many reasons of why we wouldn't need that, right? Let's just preface that. But at the same point too, I think that that has kind of made us feel like we're in this bubble with our family unit, which is absolutely beautiful, but it's not a space that allows us to operate as humans outside of the roles that we play.

14:02And for me, that's like CEO, wife, and mom. And so we talked about all this on the porch and then Thea invites me in for a massage. So what's amazing is, is that she's a certified massage therapist. And so a lot of times we'll talk for a little bit and then we'll go in and I'll get a massage. So I'll get my shoulders rubbed down and get my neck rubbed down and like get all the kinks out while she is talking me through some of the things that are coming up. It's the best. introducing your new dell pc powered by the intel core ultra processor it helps you handle a lot even when your holiday to-do list gets to be a lot because it's built with an all-day battery plus powerful ai features that help you do it all with ease from editing images to drafting emails to summarizing large documents to multitasking so you can organize your holiday shopping and make custom holiday decor and search for great holiday deals and respond to holiday requests and customer questions and customers requesting custom things and plan the perfect holiday dinner for vegans, vegetarians, pescatarians, and Uncle Mike's carnivore diet.

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17:06And as she's doing that, I realized that I have been absolutely without a doubt upside down in that. I have done motherhood, then marriage, and with any little ounces of energy or time left, then it's for me. And as she's saying that, I kind of started to get emotional because I think so many people can relate to this where we're putting everyone else's needs before our own. And at some point, there's like a breaking point, right? Like we have to come back to who we are and this identity outside of the roles that we're playing. And as she kept saying it, I like pictured this triangle and I was like, it is literally upside down.

17:48I've been pouring everything into everyone else and I have not had time for myself. And we've all heard that quote of like, secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. But how many of us actually do that in practice? And so that was the first thing that she kept saying. And I just, to this day when I start to get stressed out, I literally tap onto my head and I do like me, marriage, motherhood, me, marriage, motherhood. And I just try to remember like, if this is the order, everyone will thrive on a whole different level. So then while we're talking through different things, she starts talking about this idea of like more rest and a sacred day and more joy and more passion.

18:31And so while she's walking through all these different things, I decide while laying on the massage table, our team is going to go down to a four day work week. I actually did an entire podcast episode on this topic. And that decision was inspired by my time with Thea. I just realized that like something I've been yearning for and something I think my team has been yearning for is more time where we're not necessarily working. And we may have a little bit more fluidity in that schedule to have a little bit of time for ourselves or our joys or our passions or whatever that looks like. And so literally that day I got home from my appointment with Thea and I messaged my team on Slack and I said, Hey guys, starting next week, we are going down to a four day work week.

19:14We're going to experiment with it for 90 days. And let me tell you, it has been awesome. And it has been so amazing. If you love Gold Digger, you will love Business Made Simple hosted by Donald Miller, brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network. Business Made Simple takes the mystery out of growing your business. This summer, Donald hosted a Double Your Revenue Challenge where he gives you one simple thing each day to increase your revenue. You can start it at any time and by the end of two weeks, you'll be positioned to dramatically increase your revenue by the end of the year. Listen to Business Made Simple wherever you get your podcasts and start taking action to double your revenue today.

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21:18Yes, we have worked hard, but no, we have not had to fight so many of the things that other people have had to fight in order to have a life like this. And so as we were trying to work through this on the table, she gave me a challenge and she said, I want you to go home and I want you and Drew to sit down together. And I want for you to dream up what type of role would support you the best at this stage of life and with what your greatest needs were. And let me just give a little context here that I have been someone who has wanted to outsource specific things in our lives that we hate doing, or they don't get done, or they stress us out.

21:57And Drew has always gotten slightly defensive whenever I brought it up because he can sometimes take it as a hit, as in he's not doing his job as the stay-at-home parent and the domestic engineer. And so every time I've brought it up of like, oh my gosh, can you imagine if we had help with laundry or food prep or just like certain things around the house that we don't actually get around to or we don't enjoy, he gets defensive. And so Fia was like, I want you to approach us differently. And I want for you to go home and I want for you guys to sit down individually and then talk together about what things in your life do you not enjoy or what things do you dread or what things do you wish you could get done, but you don't get done.

22:39And so we started to dream up like what type of role would support us the most. And we landed on this hybrid between someone to help us around the house, but also someone to watch the kids. So if we want to be with the kids, they can help around the house. And if we want to work around the house, then they can help with the kids. And so I go home and we do this with Drew. Now, the final thing that she talked about is like, I have to get more conscious of my communication around what I personally need and how my needs can be met in a way that will support both my marriage and motherhood. I think a lot of times I just push things under the rug or I don't necessarily deal with them because I'm like, life is good and I should be grateful and this is good.

23:24but I am someone who needs alone time. I am someone who needs time to like feel like a human outside of CEO, wife, and mom. I am someone who needs to find joy in things other than my work. And so we talked a little bit about just that communication and what that looks like, but also advocating for that. Because I think a lot of times if I do things for myself, I feel a ton of guilt and it kind of just takes away from the enjoyment of them. Like if I am resting on the weekend, I feel so much guilt that I should be productive, that it's not actual rest. And then it just means that I'm operating at like a higher stress level than I should be, if that makes sense.

24:05So the next thing that Thea said is the thing that totally changed my perspective on business and the season of life. And this is what I want for you to hear. she said these four words she said let it be easy she was talking about my business and she was talking about how when I was explaining this stage of business and how things are going great and it's very rinse and repeat she said the rinse and the repeat is the blessing not the burden I know you are someone who is creative I know you are someone who loves to challenge herself do not blow up what you've built is basically what she was getting at.

24:47And this was so powerful because as I was grappling with what's next, where do I go from here? What does this look like? What should I be working on? Should I start a new project? She helped me realize that I had been working so hard over the last eight years of my business to get it to a place where it is today, where it is rinse and repeat, but not in a bad way, in an effective way, in a way that drives results, in a way that serves people, in a way that impacts. And what is so interesting about this, and I think many of you can probably resonate, is that as entrepreneurs, I was listening to this book the other day and they were talking about how a lot of entrepreneurs grew up with chaotic upbringings and they do their best and they perform their best in chaos.

25:39And so a lot of times entrepreneurs will inadvertently or sometimes intentionally blow things up to invite more chaos into their lives. And I did not grow up in a chaotic upbringing, but like I grew up as a gymnast who, you know, practiced for five hours a day as a child. Like I worked really, really hard. And so I have this like drive and this ability to outwork anyone. And if I'm not careful, that becomes my autopilot, which is why I have to consciously rest and find that ease in my life. And so when Thea started talking about this and she said, the rinse and the repeat is a blessing, not the burden.

26:22This is going to be the blueprint. I realized with so much clarity that the next three years of my life are going to look a lot like this, because this is good. This isn't bad. This isn't boring. This isn't basic. This is good. And so when we were young, we dreamed of castles and fairy tales. And as we grow up, those dreams might shift into building something real, like starting a business. You need a website, payment systems, a logo, and a way to reach customers. It can all be overwhelming and confusing, but thankfully that's where today's sponsor Shopify comes in. Shopify powers millions of businesses around the world and 10 % of all U.S.

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