732: Getting Personal: Juggling Mom and CEO Life

0:01Okay, I have been on this ruthless pursuit to purge any clothes that I'm not actually wearing. Like if I haven't reached for it in months, it's got to go. I am trying to be really intentional about what I bring into my closet right now, which means I am only buying pieces that I know I will actually wear and use. Revolve just gets it though. I'm literally wearing my brown Autry sneakers from there right now and my new suede purse. It fits my laptop in it. So it's basically a fancy shoulder bag that works for everything. I love finding pieces like that. Things that look good, but also work hard for my actual life.

0:35Their holiday shop is live right now with all the good stuff. Sparkly party dresses, cozy sets, cute gifts, everything you need for whatever is on your calendar. And it's all in one place, which makes shopping feel way less overwhelming. Whether it's a weekend away, a big night out or a holiday party, your dream wardrobe is just one click away. Head to revolve.com forward slash gold digger, shop my edit and take 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger. Fast two day shipping, easy returns. it's literally the only place you need to shop from. That's revolve.com forward slash gold digger to shop by favorites and get 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger offer available for a limited time.

1:15So happy shopping. So if you are someone who doesn't struggle in getting help with work, but struggles with getting help with your kiddo, like there's something really beautiful about like loosening the grip on that a little bit. And it just gives you yourself back. And I think that's a huge gift for yourself and also for your kids. Hey, my name is Jenna Kutcher and I am obsessed with all things business, marketing numbers, and helping you to navigate both the messy and the magical seasons of this thing called life. I'm a small town mama who took a$300 camera, grew a successful photo biz, and now I work from home and run a seven figure online business.

1:52I teach you the tried and true secrets to building a career you adore. Shy away from the real talk? No way. Money, hardship, growth, loss, and marketing are all topics we discuss here. Think of this as your one-stop shop for happy hour with a gal pal mixed with business school. Pull up a seat, make sure you're cozy and get ready to be challenged and encouraged while you learn. This is the Gold Digger Podcast. My biggest piece of advice for today's episode is to go get your favorite beverage cozy on up and imagine that you and I are sitting across the table from one another catching up on life.

2:26I honestly haven't had a personal episode in quite some time, and I really haven't been talking too much about motherhood. And so today I want to kind of unpack the lessons that I've learned as a CEO and a mama this year, where I've struggled, where I feel like I've been thriving and everything in between. Let's dive on in to this personal update all about all the things. 2023 was the year of AI. It's all anyone has been talking about. Every business pro with a newsfeed has heard it's time-saving and game-changing, but how can it actually help you brainstorm ideas, create lead-driving content, and tackle your to-do list?

3:08Meet HubSpot's new AI-powered campaign assistant, a totally free AI tool tailor-made for marketers and business builders who spend hours each day on content creation. Campaign Assistant is a game changer for creating marketing campaigns at scale. It quickly turns your key selling points into cohesive pitches, which helps you deliver knockout emails, ads, and landing pages in just minutes. And you can start seeing the benefits fast. Just choose your content type, input a few key points, pick a tone like friendly or witty, and let the AI robots handle the rest. You can copy and paste the content to whatever channel you'd like, or even convert it directly into publishable campaigns without leaving your HubSpot interface.

3:52So work smarter, not harder. Head to HubSpot.com slash campaign dash assistant to test drive campaign assistant for free. That's HubSpot.com slash campaign dash assistant. I feel like as a mom, I blink and another year has passed. Like I'm so in denial that I have a two-year-old and a five-year-old. That feels crazy to me. I feel like all of those old cliches that people say are so true, like don't blink because it's real. It just happens so fast. It's such a blur. And today I'm just going to walk through some of the things I've been experiencing. This is going to be very candid and off the cuff.

4:31I have very few notes to guide this conversation, but I'm excited to chat a little bit about what this season of life looks like as a CEO and a mom. So one of the things that was super interesting this year is that we moved into our new house. And that was a huge dream come true for all of us. And it was so wild because when I think back to it, when we first bought our land, like we just had a teeny tiny cocoa, I remember carrying her in a little backpack thing through the woods, imagining like, oh my gosh, we're going to live here someday. And as we were planning out our house. We didn't know whether Quinn would be a girl or a boy.

5:08We didn't know what type of room. We didn't know what style bathroom we would have. And so to think to now today where we're just doing life in this home and this is the space we get to enjoy. It's amazing. And it also was a huge transition, right? We had to sell our old house, the house that we brought our babies home to the house where I first learned I was pregnant with Coco and like there's so many memories in that house. And then we had to go through the entire process of designing and building our dream home. And it was a beautiful transition. Our kids did so well. It was, I'm kind of laughing because before we moved, we had made Coco a big girl room thinking that Quinn would go into the nursery.

5:50Well, Coco never wanted to leave her nursery in the last house. And so moving into the new house was a clean break because poor Quinn slept in a pack and play for a lot of months leading up until the move. And so it just felt so good to establish them in their brand new rooms. There was so much excitement, Coco transitioned to a big girl bed. Like it was just, it was just a lot all at once. And it's so interesting because, you know, Drew and I are very wired in this way of like, we don't like chaos. We don't do well with chaos. We like everything to just feel grounded and peaceful. And if you've ever moved with young children, it's not really possible.

6:28So we did everything we could to make that transition as ease filled as possible. But, you know, we were displaced for the first month of the year and just figuring out when is everything coming and how are we going to get everything set up? And what is this going to look like? And how do we make this transition not feel chaotic for our kids? And what are we doing with childcare and school and all of these things? And so that was like a huge way that we kicked off this year, but it was also just like so exciting. And that excitement has not wore off. Like I was kind of waiting to think of like, when is this just going to feel normal?

6:59And it still does not feel normal. And it's been almost an entire year being in this new home. One thing that I love about this house is that the land that it's on is just so wonderful. It has like this beautiful energy about it. And when we bought this land, we just envisioned our children running around in it, like bare feet in the grass, exploring the woods, playing in the Creek, climbing on the rocks. Like there's so much about this chunk of land that we live on. That's so beautiful. We have deer, we have bear, we have rabbits, we have all this wildlife around us, both good and slightly terrifying because we have a small dog.

7:35But this vision that I had for my children and their childhood is really coming to life and getting to witness that. And knowing that like the work I've done has helped make that a possibility is really beautiful. So that's kind of how we started off the year. One huge thing that we encountered this year is that we made the decision that we are done growing our family. And it's so interesting because for basically my whole life, I always envisioned having two kids and Drew also only envisioned having two kids. And we had a lot of clarity around that. And what was so interesting is that as Quinn started to grow, like I'll never forget when she finally grew out of her zero to three month clothes.

8:16And now I'm sitting there looking at this pile of clothes thinking, I can get rid of these like I'm done. It wasn't like an exciting feeling. It made me really sad. And I really grappled for a few months of like, are we actually done? And it was really interesting because I had like not wavered at all in that vision of what our family was going to look like. I didn't like, I was just so clear on that until we started having the first of the last, right? Like it was the last time we had newborn size. It was the last time we needed this size a diaper. It was the last time we needed a height chair.

8:50And like, that was really hard. I am one of those weird people who really enjoy those early days as a mom makes me emotional. I just love when they're so tiny. And I had really positive postpartum experiences, which I know is not always common. So really feeling that like finality was like really hard. And we had a lot of conversations around it. It was kind of funny because it's like, we just built this house. We designed it with the right amount of bedrooms. We designed it with the right amount of lockers. We designed it with the right amount of drawers for a family of four. So even entertaining that idea of another kid felt like, whoa, what are we, what are we even thinking right now?

9:26But we came to the ultimate conclusion and feel such clarity on it that we are done for reference. And something that I think a lot of people don't think about is that over the last seven years, I have been pregnant four different times. I've been pregnant for a total of two of those years. I have breastfed for three and a half of those years. And so like my body has been through a lot, like it's just been a lot. And so even the thought of entertaining, like throwing myself back into the ring, knowing that not all pregnancies result in holding a child and knowing that my body is different now that I'm 35 in finally feeling the way that I want to feel within my own skin to think about like throwing all that off again, felt very overwhelming to me and very daunting.

10:17So we did make this decision that we're done growing our family. It's complete. We feel very complete. I love not being outnumbered. I don't do great with chaos. So having two girls is like my dream come true, truly. And it's very interesting too, because we come from families with lots of boys. So we are the first family, like in this like generation of my immediate family to like only have girls, which I don't know, it just feels really special. Like I just feel like I was made to be a girl mama and I love my daughter so much. So that was a huge decision. Pro tip that if your husband is thinking about getting a vasectomy or your partner, schedule that ASAP.

10:58We dragged our feet on that for too long. And the line to get one is like 12 months long. I'm not even kidding. Like they're scheduling well into next year. And I was joking. Cause I'm like, I couldn't be pregnant. I have another child by the time this actually happens. So just pro tip, if that's something on your radar, you might want to schedule one now or get the consult done at least another big milestone that we had this year is that Coco transitioned to full day school. So for the last two years, she has been in a Montessori school that we absolutely adore. And she was just doing half days.

11:32So she was there from basically like 830 to noon every day. And it was wonderful. And it was the perfect amount of time to give Drew a little bit of a break and to have her in a routine and being social and all of those wonderful things. So this year, we decided that she's going to transition to full day. And that was a huge decision because she's five. So she's right on the cusp of like, would this be kindergarten or pre-k or like, what is this? Like so many people ask me, is she in kindergarten? And with the Montessori school she's in, they're in the same classroom called children's house from ages three to six.

12:05So she's not technically in kindergarten, but she's in the same classroom, but she's doing a lot of kindergarten things. So anyways, it was a huge transition. I did have a little bit of hesitation around it because she is a very tired child. Like that girlfriend needs her sleep. Like you could be doing the most engaging activity and it's 6 30 PM and she's asking to go to bed. Like she loves her sleep. So I was a little worried that she's just going to be exhausted when she got home. And then I was also a little bit concerned that her emotions, like it would be a lot for her. She's a very deep feeling child.

12:39And so to like, try to kind of like constrain things for that long, I was just a little worried about how that would go, but it has been such a positive experience. She's in the same classroom with the same teachers and the same friends. And so it's been awesome. And one thing that we've really enjoyed and totally makes me feel like even more of a mom is that we've started to build really great friendships with her friend's parents and started to like get into that stage of life, which feels wild. And so that's been really beautiful. So that's been one of the really awesome things that happened this year.

13:10One thing that we've really been struggling with as parents is figuring out when we want to start Quinn. And gosh, we just keep going back and forth on it. One of the benefits is, is if she starts next year, she'd be in the same classroom as Coco. So Coco would be the oldest, Quinny would be the youngest. But my mama intuition is to keep her home for one more year with us. And Quinn is just this beautiful old soul. And I think she'll do well wherever we put her, whenever we decide. But I'm just coming at it from the place of like, we're never going to regret having more time with her. And we had so much one-on-one time with Coco from ages zero to three.

13:46And so I kind of want the same thing for Quinn. So thinking we're going to keep her home next year, but we know that we have a beautiful option in the school. And I'm very excited about that. One huge shift for us, like huge and beautiful shift for us is that for the first time in our parenthood journey, which has been five plus years, we have actually gotten reliable outside help. You know, it's really interesting. I have been so resistant to getting help and it's wild because I will get help in anything for my business. Like I will pay to outsource just about anything and getting help in our home and with our kids, it just felt so daunting to me.

14:28Like I am so protective of my children. I'm a very private person. I am very like energetic. Like I feel people's energy and I just love the energy that we create in our home. And this fall in September, we started having someone that comes over one to two days a week for six hours a day. And she's a college student, an elementary education major, and she has changed our lives. It has totally changed our lives. 12 hours of childcare a week has changed our lives. so what's been beautiful about it is drew gets a break because otherwise he is like parenting all day every day and that's just a lot for anybody and she also so basically she'll hang out with quinn from like nine to noon put her down for her nap and then she's been helping with things like laundry and watering the plants and putting away our instacart order and cleaning the fruits and like just little things that aren't little like the things that keep us out of parenthood because we're stressed or we're trying to do them while also parenting.

15:33It has been so transformative. It has been the best money we've spent. And what's been so beautiful about it is our kids love her. I feel like I am a better mom when I get this time. So basically she comes on Mondays and Fridays. Fridays is my day to like do whatever I need to do. It's I'm not working. I can get a massage. I can go sit at a coffee shop. It is like my fill my cup day that I have been desiring since becoming a mom. And it's been so life changing. And it's so interesting, because I have a lot to unpack in therapy, which we'll talk about, about like, why I was so prideful about us just doing it on our own.

16:13And I think that there's so much, you know, when you see people that are really successful, and they have all this help, and you're like, what are they even doing? Or like, are they even good parents? Like, there's this level of pride and ego of me being like we're doing it all by ourselves and we're just in the trenches. And that's great. We were in the trenches for five years. It's time to get out of the trenches a little bit. So having this like 12 hours of childcare per week has been amazing. It hasn't been consistent. Like this week, we don't have any childcare and that's okay. So we've been very, very, very flexible, but it's also enabled us to get in things like dates, which were not happening and prioritize ourselves as like independent adults, as well as prioritize our marriage.

16:54And that has just been probably the best thing that's happened this year. It's been just really, really beautiful. And we found her on care.com and I was super upfront in the job listing of like, we want like a half nanny, half personal assistant in terms of the house. And she has just been chef's kiss, just so good. So that's been really, really big for us. So if you are someone who doesn't struggle in getting help with work, but struggles with getting help with your kiddo, like there's something really beautiful about like loosening the grip on that a little bit. and it just gives you yourself back.

17:26And I think that's a huge gift for yourself and also for your kids. Looking for a new podcast to add to your business building lineup? I have the perfect recommendation for you. Marketing Made Simple, hosted by Dr. JJ Peterson, brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network. Marketing Made Simple brings you practical tips to make your marketing easy and more importantly, make it work. From what you should actually be saying in your nurture emails to how AI can save you time and money, to practical tips for turning your website into a sales machine, Dr. JJ Peterson does exactly what he promises each week.

18:02He makes marketing simple. Listen to Marketing Made Simple wherever you get your podcasts today. Look, I've become kind of a systems nerd and anything that gives me more space in my day, I'm all in. And a reliable connection is a huge part of that because when the internet lags or cuts out, everything pauses and suddenly the simplest tasks take forever. I learned really early on that dependable internet, it's not a luxury, it is a must. Whether you're a content creator like me, a restaurant owner, or running a busy dry cleaning business, you need that steady connection to support your team and your clients.

18:39That's why I'm excited to share a solution for my fellow business owners. Spectrum Business keeps businesses of all types connected with internet, advanced Wi-Fi, phone, TV, and mobile services, all with connectivity solutions built for your budget. And they have a truly incredible offer. Business owners can get free business internet advantage forever when you add four or more mobile lines. It's simple with no contracts and no added fees. Visit spectrum.com forward slash free for life to learn how you can get business internet free forever. Restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas.

19:17When we were young, we dreamed of castles and fairy tales. And as we grow up, those dreams might shift into building something real, like starting a business. You need a website, payment systems, a logo, and a way to reach customers. It can all be overwhelming and confusing, but thankfully that's where today's sponsor Shopify comes in. Shopify powers millions of businesses around the world and 10 % of all U.S. e-commerce, from big brands to folks just getting started. They offer beautiful, ready-to-go website templates so you don't need design skills to look professional. Their AI tools help with product images, descriptions, discount codes, and more.

19:55Shopify also makes it simple to run email and social campaigns so people can find you. And if you ever feel stuck, their award-winning 24-7 support is always available. Turn those dreams into and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your$1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash gold digger. Go to shopify.com slash gold digger, shopify.com slash gold digger. Another huge shift that we encountered this year that I've spoken about on the podcast, but haven't talked about in a long time is just this transition into not sharing our kids online and sharing their faces online.

20:38And it's so interesting. I have watched a few other creators go through this transition over the years. And I've always considered it, but I didn't feel this like instinctual pull until this year. It actually happened on Mother's Day, which was so interesting. That's like a day where you're always like sharing your kids' faces and like, look at my beautiful children. And like, I just had this very visceral reaction of like, I'm done. I'm done. And one of my friends, Amber did this years ago where she's like a mommy blogger. And I'm not saying that in like a derogatory way. That is what she is.

21:09She is a mommy blogger and she stopped showing her kids faces. And I just remember having this deep level of respect for her. And when I was considering this shift, I talked to her and she had just said something to me that stuck with me. And she's like, I will never regret protecting my kids and the integrity of their own story and the story that they want to tell. But I can see myself someday down the line, regretting sharing it in my way through my lens. I want to give them the autonomy to choose what that looks like. And there were a few different things that happened that really just like grounded me in that decision.

21:43And it's been really cool because I've seen a lot more creators moving in this direction and there is no right or wrong way to do this. We are the first generation to be raising kids online as like personal brands and businesses. And like, that's just like what we know. So there's like literally no shame in what you are choosing. But for us, that was a really big shift and it has just felt so good. And it was really interesting because we recently had a birthday in our family and I was sharing photos of my kids with my team. And one of them was like, Oh my God, don't you just want to post these?

22:16These are so cute. The girls are so cute. And I said, I do and I don't. And I said, I have gotten into the habit now of like texting my friends, the people who know me and know my kids, these pictures. And that feels really good because it's the people that actually care. And I said, and she's like, they're just so cute. And I said, I want the way they look to be the least interesting thing about them. And on the internet, when you're posting photos of your children, the most interesting thing that you can say is commenting on their looks, right? You don't necessarily get to see the nuance of their personality and their passions and their creativity and their bravery.

22:51And like, I just like want to create an environment where my children own their story. And I've had to find this balance, right? Because I'm a mom and I love being a mom And being a mom is like the number one thing in my life. So like figuring out like, how do I still let people in to the fact that I'm a mom and I am making jelly sandwiches just like you at night. And I'm forgetting to pack snow pants in backpacks. Like that is so much of my life. So how do I show that not at the expense of my children? And so that's just been a huge thing that I've transitioned. If you are feeling this like intuitive call, my advice would be to just try it.

23:32Just experiment with it. try it for a month, figure out what feels right for you, what you're going to allow. But you know, it's just an interesting thing that past generations didn't have to experience, right? I'm kind of jealous that like our parents didn't have to make these decisions, but it's felt really, really good. And that was a huge shift. And so what's interesting too, is even when thinking about recording this podcast episode, I'm like, you know, I haven't really let you guys in to motherhood lately because I've just been so protective. And that's something that I've really felt this year is just this like pull into more privacy.

24:04I've always been a very private person living a very public life. And that's been a really interesting juxtaposition to navigate. There are definitely seasons in my life where I'm like wildly vulnerable and putting everything out there. And I love that. And then there are seasons in my life where I just like go very inward. And I feel like this last year, I've just gone very inward and been a lot more private. And so that has been something interesting to navigate this year and just a piece of my motherhood journey. And I have zero regrets about that decision. And I don't think I'll change it.

24:33Who knows? Never say never. But I just feel really good about that. It's shifted the way that I look at photographing my kids. It's shifted the way I've looked at content. It's shifted the way that I'm showing up online. And yeah, that's been really interesting. Another thing that's been great this year and something that I would just encourage if you're in a season similar to mine is just like making time for more conversations with other moms. And specifically, if you are an entrepreneur, finding other moms who are also entrepreneurs or CEOs. This has been so interesting because like a lot of my friends that are local, they're stay at home parents, which is amazing.