758: Weird Places You Need to Set Boundaries in Your Biz

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1:15So happy shopping. Consider the areas of your life and your business that are screaming at you to create boundaries and start there. And remember, I want for you to know that like you can evaluate, change, shift and evolve your boundaries at any time. These are yours. Hey, my name is Jenna Kutcher and I am obsessed with all things, business, marketing numbers, and helping you to navigate both the messy and the magical seasons of this thing called life. I'm a small town mama who took a$300 camera, grew a successful photo biz, and now I work from home and run a seven figure online business. I teach you the tried and true secrets to building a career you adore.

1:54Shy away from the real talk? No way. Money, hardship, growth, loss, and marketing are all topics we discuss here. Think of this as your one-stop shop for happy hour with a gal pal mixed with business school. Pull up a seat, make sure you're cozy and get ready to be challenged and encouraged while you learn. This is the Gold Digger Podcast. Boundaries. Does anyone feel like it's a buzzword these days? I feel like everywhere I turn, it's a podcast host, an influencer, my best friend or a therapist on Instagram. Everyone seems to be talking about the importance of establishing and setting and keeping and communicating boundaries.

2:30My therapist recently said that boundaries protect what is most sacred. And I love that idea because I've had to learn and relearn and remind myself over and over and over again, that boundaries aren't meant to keep people or opportunities or things out of my life. Boundaries keep me in my life. So whether we're talking about our professional hustle or our personal relationships, boundaries have to be a part of the conversation and consideration. And maybe you already know that, but you've wondered how, how can I set these boundaries that can strengthen and not hurt my goals, my purpose, my work.

3:07And like, how do we define these guardrails in the first place and ensure that we're thinking about our needs, but also other people's needs. Inside today's episode, we're getting real about how setting and keeping boundaries might not be easy, but I want to give you questions and prompts that you should be asking yourself and taking into consideration when setting personal boundaries, as well as professional ones with your team and clients, even with your loved ones. We're also talking about boundaries of things like social media. So today is all things boundaries in this episode, grab your favorite beverage and a pen and paper and take notes.

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4:28HubSpot for startups has it all. So get ready to build a brand everyone loves and make your startup growing pains a thing of the past. Visit hubspot.com slash startups to see how much you can save. That's hubspot.com slash startups. So today I'm going to take you on a journey and I'm going to lead you through a lot of different areas and places that I want for you to consider where boundaries should be in your life and how to apply this. But I really wanted to start this episode with personal boundaries, like us as a person. And when I think about my journey as an entrepreneur over the last decade and all the different things I've encountered, most of the times that I've had really hard stages or seasons were the places where I had to learn the hard way that I needed to have better boundaries.

5:20And when I think about boundaries, I think a lot of times we equate them to having boundaries around work or boundaries around relationships. But I really, really believe that if we can start with first the personal boundaries, then as we expand, we're already protecting what is most sacred. And that is our connection to ourself and that inner voice and our intuition and all of these powerful guides that are trying to reach us, but we're likely too busy to even notice. So first I want to take you back to one of the first and the hardest ways that I learned that we all need boundaries. And it was when I first became a wedding photographer.

5:57So a lot of, you know, about my journey, I worked in corporate America. I bought a$300 camera on Craigslist over the next year. I did both of those jobs at the same time so that I could build a wedding photography business from scratch. And And one thing about me is that like, if I have work to do, I can't rest. It is something I've tried to break within me. I've always just been this high achiever. There's this story I tell myself that I'm unpacking in therapy of if I just push harder and if I just do more, everything will be okay. And so I have a really hard time unplugging. And I actually tell this story in my book, How Are You Really?

6:38about when I really hit burnout. And it was this phase of wedding photography. I was shooting 30 weddings in a summer, which if you live in the Midwest, it's condensed from like basically May until October. And so I was shooting one or two weddings every single weekend. And then all week long, I was editing during the week. And I tell this story in my book about how Drew and I went to this apple orchard so that I could shoot this engagement session. And I was super happy and I was posing them and the photos are gorgeous. They're still gorgeous to this day. And I remember just like collapsing into the car.

7:10And I said to him, I said, do you think they can tell? And he's like, do you think they can tell what? And I was like, do you think they can tell how utterly exhausted I am right now? And it was this place in my life where like I had no boundaries. I would sleep with my laptop on my nightstand. I was always available. I said yes to everything. And I think when I look back, There was this level of imposter syndrome. There was this level of scarcity. There was this fear that it wasn't going to work out that I have to go back to corporate America. There's a lot around that to be unpacked. And so my first thing that I want for you to really think about is what is your boundary around when will you work and when will you unplug?

7:51And what does that look like? And I am not anti-hustle culture in the sense of like, I don't think hustle is required. I think hustle is absolutely required to get your dream off the ground in different stages of your business, hustle is required. But if hustle is the only way that you can sustain or grow your business, if hustle is the only way that you can get paid, you're going to burn out. It's not going to be good. And so I want for you to think about what does this look like? Like when I was burning the candle on both ends, I was working 50 plus hours a week at a corporate job with a commute.

8:23And then I would go home and be building my blog and booking clients and doing all the business stuff. I like started my entrepreneurial journey like so many of us do, where working crazy hours was just the only way to get it going. But I never realized that like once I actually made the leap into full-time entrepreneurship, that something could change. And I didn't change it until I totally hit burnout. And so maybe you sit down after listening to this episode and you ask yourself, okay, what am I going to do for work? And then when am I going to be off? And what does that off look like? The next thing that I want for you to consider, and this is going to look different for every single person, especially based on whatever area of your life you find yourself in, but what do your conversations look like about work with your partner, with your family, with your children, with whoever is in your close sphere of influence?

9:16Drew and I rarely talk about business or work. I was actually just telling one of my team members about this. We were talking about like, you know, how much does your spouse know about what you do or your day to day? And somehow we've sunk into this place in our life that I love where we don't really talk about the work I do. And I, I love it. I don't feel undervalued. I don't feel misunderstood. Like I have people in my life, like Amy Porterfield, who want to talk about work with me. Like my husband wants me to just be with him and the kids. And like, he doesn't need to hear about like webinar registrations.

9:50Like for example, the other night we were getting ready for bed. I was so excited. We're in this launch. We're just like crushing our goals. And I tried to explain something to him about like why I was so excited. And he asked like the dumbest follow up question to me. And I had no patience. And I was just like, you don't even get it. I don't even know why I tried to tell you this. And I felt so bad because he was trying to be excited for me and trying to understand it. And I was like, just reminded of like, he doesn't need to know everything to like value what I do. So we have kind of gotten to this place of like, if there's anything he needs to know about work, I'll let him know.

10:27I kind of give him like a rough overview of what I'm working on or things like that. But like, we don't really talk about work. And I think that is in part because I watched a lot of my friends navigate entrepreneurship, where either they work with their partners, or the partners are involved or invested, or they have opinions and all they do is talk about work. And like, I want to work to live, not live to work. And so for me, creating a boundary of like, I'll give you like a quick synopsis of my week, but like, otherwise you don't really need to know all the intricacies and you don't care to know anyways, that has been so helpful for us.

11:01And so maybe establishing what those boundaries look like, especially to when you're starting out and you might be more influenced by people's opinions of things, really getting clear on like, who am I going to let into what I'm working on? Who even cares to be let in? And what does that look like? And I think that's a really powerful boundary to really explore for different individualized relationships and to figure out like what feels good and what supports you the most in the ways that you need it. Okay. Number three is how will you plan for life events with your work? So, so many of us have heard this analogy.

11:33I've heard it even recently. I feel like it's like the universe, like giving me this sign of that story of like putting big rocks in first and then little rocks. It's a story about this professor who tries to show his students. So he has this big Mason jar. He pours in a bunch of sand, which is all the little things that we do every day, checking email, posting on social, getting contracts signed, invoicing, all these things. And then he tries to fit these big rocks in, which is like your values, like your life, travel, relationships, rest. And the whole visual of this exercise is to show if you place the big rocks in first, the sand will fit around it.

12:11So you have to get very clear on what is most important to me. How do I make sure those get planned for first and let all the little stuff fall around it. And so what is your planning process going to be where it comes, where like life and business intersect. For me, it's been a really interesting phase of life because we have things like Coco has winter break from school, or she has these random Fridays where she's off of school and different things like that. And so like, I have to mature in motherhood in a way of like, I am prepping and planning of like all of these different things or her friend's birthday parties or different things like that, that are very important, not only to her, but also to me.

12:54And so I have to plan my work around those things. And I think that for a lot of us will hit December 31st and we're like, oh man, like I didn't get to visit my grandparents as much as I thought, or I really wanted to take that trip with my best friends and that didn't happen. Or I missed so-and-so's wedding because I had a work event. And so figuring out like, how are you going to plan your life first? and then how are you going to plan your work around that? Then again, thinking of the big rocks first, establish what are they? Second, when are they? And how do you protect those? And then how do you let everything else fall around it?

13:30And so, you know, there were so many times in my early days as a wedding photographer where I was booking out a year in advance. I missed one of my best friend's weddings. I still think about it. I missed my cousin's wedding. Like, there's just different things that I missed out on because of work. And again, some of it, you can't really account for. But I remember those things. I remember things that were very important that I wasn't able to be at because of work. And so thinking through big rocks first, and then the small rocks and letting all those things fill in. And the other thing that has been super helpful for me is holding my plans more loosely.

14:04So yes, I have plans and visions. Yes, I have things planned out for the rest of the year. But how do I kind of hold it a little bit more loosely with a little bit more flexibility and a little bit more grace? And I think that has been really helpful because I don't feel directionless. I don't have no plans. I have plans, but I'm also kind of holding them loosely and just allowing them to like ebb and flow and pivot and transform throughout the year as I continue to transform. When we were young, we dreamed of castles and fairy tales. And as we grow up, those dreams might shift into building something real, like starting a business.

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16:40Number three was how do you plan for life events with your work? Number four, when is enough enough and when is it not working? So like, what is your enough point? Again, this is another chapter in my book. This is one of my favorite things to talk about, but when are you going to slow down? Or when are you going to let enough be enough? Drew and I were literally just having this conversation the other night because we were just talking about different goals and what we think the business will do this year and what the vision is and all these different things. We were kind of talking about like, well, when, when do I cut back?

17:16And like, would I enjoy cutting back? Do I have to cut back? Should I cut back? Should I pivot? Like all these different things. And I think that if you are aimless in what your enough point is, it's just easy to keep going, right? It's easy to keep saying more, more, more. And we were just having this really powerful conversation because there's so many people in my industry where they're just hungry. They want to continue to outdo themselves every single year, year over year. And I'm like, but what for, like, what is it for? And so I've always tried to be very clear on like, this is my enough point.

17:46This is where like, I say, okay, I'm good. I can cut back. And we're kind of in this season of like reestablishing what is that? Now on the flip side of this, when is something not working? And like, when do we pull the plug on it? And like, what does that look like? Because I think too, some people get too deep into something or they're invested in it. It's like that sunk cost fallacy of like, well, I've already been going for this degree for three years. If I quit now, that's been a waste, but it's like, so you're going to waste the next 10 years of your life doing something you don't love. And so again, it's like, when is enough enough or when is it not working?

18:18Like how do we define those things and create boundaries around those things so that it's not a question mark, there's clarity there. And these are conversations that I'm having frequently with Drew. I'm having them with my friends and I'm really just figuring out like boundaries on both ends of the spectrum of like, I'm going to invest in this thing and I'm going to test it out for X amount of months. And then I'm going to evaluate and make a decision, right? I'm being willing to experiment and I'm not holding the outcome too tightly. And so I just think that this is a really powerful thing because like for me, I tell the story in my book, when I hit burnout, I was making six figures.

18:53It had been this elusive goal. And when I hit it, I was just like dead. Like I felt like a shell of myself. And I decided I want to go back to making 50 K a year. Like I was so much happier. I had time. I was able to be with the people I loved. And so that really helped me to understand that like, it's not always about more, more, more. So when is enough enough? And when is it not working? Number five is how much am I willing to invest to make a go at this? How many of you guys have seen Shark Tank? I love that show. I'm just a huge fan of Shark Tank. I'm so inspired by the entrepreneurs that go on it and the sharks.

19:27But how many of you guys have seen where like people are like all in, like they've refinanced their house or they've moved back in with their parents, they've put in their retirement savings, like they've gone all in. Like I admire that. I am not that type of person. I do not like risk in that way. But I think that if you don't have a boundary or like a really clear line in the sand of like, how much am I actually willing to invest in this thing? It can get really, really scary. And so this is like setting parameters and boundaries around like, I am going to go up to this point. This is my comfort point.

19:59This is my enough point. And if it's not working or it's not worth it at that point, then we've got to either pivot or pull the plug. And so how much are you willing to invest? At the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey as a wedding photographer, I was working my full-time job, but I also had a wedding to pay for and student loans. And we were not in a great financial situation, right? We're like fresh out of college, paying off my loans. I'm making 50K a year. I'm like trying to do all these things. And so I had to really establish quickly what is a nice to have and what is a need to have?

20:32Yes, I would have loved to have every single lens out there on the market for my camera, but that wasn't necessarily going to make me more money. I needed a website. I needed an accountant, some of those unsexy expenses. And so when you think about investing, ask yourself, is this a nice to have or a need to have? Is this essential for me being a business owner? Meaning I have an offer to sell and I have a way for somebody to purchase it. A lot of things are nice to have. Most of them are not need to haves at the beginning. And so I self-funded and bootstrapped the whole way. And I'm so thankful I did that, but really just get clear on establishing like how much am I willing to invest in this?

21:08And what does this look like? And when am I going to like fully evaluate if this is working or not. And then the last personal boundary that I think is a very, very, very powerful. And we'll talk about this a little bit more later on is when it comes to social media, what is considered personal and what is considered business. And I added this one in last minute because I was really thinking about like personal boundaries and what does this look like? And I think for a lot of us, especially if you run a personal brand, this area gets to be a shade of gray where it is very hard to establish like, am I scrolling on social media right now because I'm personally entertained or is it because I'm actually doing market research or creating a post?

21:49Am I shooting content on the weekends for business purpose or for personal? And just kind of creating a very clear sense of understanding of the role that social media is going to play. What is considered personal? What is considered business? Is it going to be a shade of gray for you? Is it going to be black and white? But what does that look like? And I think that for many of us, like it can be really hard if you're part of your business is being on social media, because it all feels like work, right? And so just creating those boundaries, at least for yourself to understand like, okay, I'm just going on social to scroll personally, I want to connect with my friends, or I'm on here for a specific purpose for my business.

22:29And I think that can just be something that can be powerful to start to at least examine in and think about in your life and maybe with your own social media use. Okay. So that's personal. Let's go to team. So I want to just say, I understand you might not have a team yet, but I want for you to still listen to this because if you don't have a team right now, but you are working on building something, there's a really good chance that in the future, you might have to hire someone or work with a contractor or have a virtual assistant, or even have somebody in your family come on and help you. So just listen closely and tuck this in the back of your mind if you don't have a team.

23:02But if you have a team, this is so powerful. So first, for many entrepreneurs, most of us, we never really go into entrepreneurship imagining that we're going to have a team. And I don't know about you, but I never went to boss school. Having boundaries with your team and being super intentional about what that's going to look like is going to save you so much stress and frustration and heartbreak and probably money in the long run. So think through these things with me. So the first thing I want for you to think through is your communication style and how you prefer to communicate. So what's super interesting is that for the first few years, I only had like one team member at a virtual assistant.

23:38I mean, this was years into it. So for the first few years, it was just me, me, myself, and I, I was all the things, the support person, the marketer, the communicator, the everything. I was the everythinger. Then I had a virtual assistant and we would communicate either via text or email. Now, as the years have gone on, my preferred style of communication with my team is Slack. We use a thing called Slack. It's free. It's basically like AOL Instant Messenger, but for businesses. I love it. You can set status updates. You can communicate. You can schedule messages. You can send voice memos, documents, links, all the things.