764: Confession: I’m Burnt Out, Here’s Exactly What I’m Doing About It

0:01Okay, I have been on this ruthless pursuit to purge any clothes that I'm not actually wearing. Like if I haven't reached for it in months, it's got to go. I am trying to be really intentional about what I bring into my closet right now, which means I am only buying pieces that I know I will actually wear and use. Revolve just gets it though. I'm literally wearing my brown Autry sneakers from there right now and my new suede purse. It fits my laptop in it. So it's basically a fancy shoulder bag that works for everything. I love finding pieces like that. Things that look good, but also work hard for my actual life.

0:35Their holiday shop is live right now with all the good stuff. Sparkly party dresses, cozy sets, cute gifts, everything you need for whatever is on your calendar. And it's all in one place, which makes shopping feel way less overwhelming. Whether it's a weekend away, a big night out or a holiday party, your dream wardrobe is just one click away. Head to revolve.com forward slash gold digger, shop my edit and take 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger. Fast two day shipping, easy returns. it's literally the only place you need to shop from. That's revolve.com forward slash gold digger to shop by favorites and get 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger offer available for a limited time.

1:15So happy shopping. Just been kind of balancing my nervous system more protecting my own energy and listening to music and opting for that over the busyness or sometimes the chaos of podcasts and audio books. And that's been like a good, just like cortisol reducer. Hey, my name is Jenna Kutcher and I am obsessed with all things business, marketing numbers, and helping you to navigate both the messy and the magical seasons of this thing called life. I'm a small town mama who took a$300 camera, grew a successful photo biz, and now I work from home and run a seven figure online business. I teach you the tried and true secrets to building a career you adore.

1:55Shy away from the real talk? No way. Money, hardship, growth, loss, and marketing are all topics we discuss here. Think of this as your one-stop shop for happy hour with a gal pal mixed with business school. Pull up a seat, make sure you're cozy and get ready to be challenged and encouraged while you learn. This is the Gold Digger Podcast. When I tell you that I've had to hype myself up to sit down and record this episode, I'm not lying. I feel like I've recorded every possible thing that could be recorded, saving this one for last in avoidance of it. And I'm honestly a little bit nervous to share all this publicly because I am literally in what I like to refer to as the messy middle.

2:35And I think in today's day and age, we love to show up when we have everything buttoned up and figured out. We can say, look at how far I've come. But here I am today. And what I am admitting to you is the fact that I am burnt out. And I think we've all been here before. I know I have been here before. If you haven't been in a place of burnout, you are so lucky. This isn't something necessarily new for me. I've hit this point many different times in my career that's been over a decade, but this time it feels very different. So today I'm going to share a few things that I'm going through personally and how I think I may be arrived at this place and why it's not the worst thing ever.

3:18And I'm also going to talk about exactly what I'm doing about it and how I'm kind of moving through it and with it. Now, chances are if you're an entrepreneur or you're someone who is ambitious, you are likely going to face burnout on your journey. So let's talk about exactly what I'm doing about it and how maybe you can take some of the tools in my toolbox from over the last decade when you inevitably find yourself in a season of burnout too. All right, let's dive on it. Okay, real talk. Are skinny jeans out or are they in? My friends and I continue to have this debate and it just goes to show that trends come and go and come back again.

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4:34So friend, do not get caught hopping on an old trend. Visit HubSpot.com slash state of marketing to get your free copy of the report today. That's HubSpot.com slash state of marketing. So I kind of referenced that this time it just feels different. And it really, really does. Because in the past, I have felt burnt out before. But in those stages and phases of my business, the reason for my burnout was because I was working around the clock and I was lacking boundaries. And I feel like each season of burnout teaches you something new. And so I feel like I do have a lot of tools in my toolbox this time around.

5:14But the reason why this one feels so different is because it's not due to overwork. I feel like over the last five years, especially since becoming a mom, I have really worked to create a beautiful rhythm to create amazing boundaries, to create a business that supports all of the facets of me. And so what's been so peculiar about feeling burnt out this time around is it would be so much easier if I could just say, oh, of course you're burnt out. You've been working too much or too hard, but that's actually not the case. I feel like I have had really strong boundaries and rhythms in my business this year.

5:53And so that burnout tells me that it's stemming from a different place. And here's where I think it is. And I haven't fully landed on this again. Remember, I'm still very much in the process of this, but where I think the burnout is stemming from is that I have an amazing business and I have built it so thoughtfully and intentionally. And one thing that I found as a tendency of mine is that when things get simple, I tend to add complexity or maybe even seek out chaos to stay busy. I've been doing therapy and one of my core beliefs that I am trying to rewire in myself is if I just work harder, everything will work out.

6:39And that has just been something that is innately instilled in me since I was a kid. I've just been such a hard worker. And so over the years, I've just been unwiring that that it's not necessarily about pushing harder, doing more, working harder. I've really had to let go of that hustle culture mentality. And I feel like I've successfully been able to do that over the last few years. But what's been so interesting in that is because I built my business so intentionally in this kind of rinse and repeat sort of way, I've removed a lot of the creativity and the ideation and the vision casting from it.

7:16My business is so beautifully predictable. And that is such a blessing when it comes to things like safety and security, but it is not necessarily lighting a fire in my creative being. and recently I was in our biggest launch we've ever done and it was so successful and we smashed every goal we had set and it was amazing and there were so many parts of it that were like wow I can't believe we're doing this and I also can believe we're doing this and it was great but during that launch I just kept having this feeling of like this isn't it like this isn't the only thing. And it's hard to explain what that means because I was simultaneously holding so much joy and appreciation and gratitude while holding this feeling of like, is this it?

8:11Like, what's next? Am I just going to keep doing this same thing over and over again? And during that launch, I had this Facebook memory pop up. I love those when they remind you of the places you've been. And it was from nine years ago when I launched my very first course. I have been launching courses for nine years. Talk about putting in the reps, right? And when that memory popped up and it was my very first course and it was called the Jenna Kutcher course with a handmade logo that I designed myself. I was just reminded of like, I have been doing a very similar business model for nearly a decade.

8:45When I look at the last 10 years of my business, most of them have been filled with the same things, the podcasts, the courses, and just showing up and doing a very similar thing. And that's beautiful in so many ways, right? It's very predictable. I've created rhythms. I know what to expect. There's just so much that's amazing about that. But I think that this feeling of burnout is stemming from this deeper knowing in me of like, this isn't the end, like this isn't the end game. There's more, there's a next phase and evolution coming. And I just don't even know what it is. So the rinse and repeat of my business is a huge blessing.

9:31Honestly, it's something that I want to teach other business owners because it's afforded me an incredible life. And it's given me this business that can literally run while I rest. And what a blessing it is to have a business that can really run without as much effort on my part. Was there a lot of effort in the early days? You better believe it. But in today's era of my business, so much of it is on autopilot in such a beautiful way. And I love that. But I also think that it has stifled a lot of my creativity and some of the best parts about me. So I want to share a few of the things that I'm doing right now as I'm working through this feeling of burnout.

10:12So the first thing is, is just, I am really proud of myself because I have been paying closer attention to how I'm feeling. And I've also been so much more patient in sitting with it. I feel like in the past, when I felt feelings like this, I literally either try to work myself away from the feeling or rush through it or move on to the next thing or add chaos to everything and blow it all up. And this time I feel like I am just sitting with it, asking myself questions and honoring it. And I think so much of that is from a lot of the inner work that I've been doing with myself, with my therapist, with my team.

10:49I've just like, I don't have to rush through this. And I think being a mom of emotional children has taught me so much of like how our tendency is to just try to rush back to like happy and good. And when we do that, we miss like the depth of the human experience. And so I guess I've just been really like paying closer attention to like my own thoughts and beliefs and feelings and just trying to honor them. You know, it was really interesting that I like noticed, like I was more lit up about my little gluten-free sourdough starter than I was about a record-breaking launch. Like that told me something right there, right?

11:24Like, and just like paying attention to things like that and paying attention to like, what am I thinking about? What am I curious about? What am I waking up excited about? What am I dreading? What am I not looking forward to? And so that's the first thing I've been doing. The second thing that I've been doing is like really just like leaning on the things that are truly lighting me up right now and exploring the questions that I have in my head and in my life without judgment. And it's so funny because a lot of times when I hit a place of like very certainty, like where I'm in this place of certainty right now, like I'm just burnt out.

12:00I want to like, just like blow everything up. Like that is just like my tendency. I'm very all or nothing, which I'm trying to find like the shades of gray in my life. And so when I started feeling this way, I was like finding myself being very curious about different things in life and things that used to sound super boring to me now sound inspiring. And I am kind of joking with myself and my family of like, I'm too young to be going through a midlife crisis. I'm too old to be going through a quarter life crisis. I am like in my one third life crisis era. And I say that like jokingly, because it doesn't feel like a crisis.

12:36It feels like a rebirth and like a discovery phase. And I think a lot of that is also feeling like I'm finally out of the trenches of those early motherhood days. My girls are two and five. So they're still very young, but I feel like I'm out of the weeds in a way that like when you're in them, you don't even realize it. And so I feel like my bandwidth has like expanded of me wanting to be curious about who I am outside of motherhood and work. What do I love? What lights me up? What excites me? And like, what a privilege to even be able to explore those things. So I am taking a sourdough class with my mom every Thursday night in this cute little community center with like 15 other people, most of them who are over the age of 60.

13:23And I am ordering and getting into beekeeping. I love honey and I love bees. I've always loved bees. I just think they're amazing. And so we are going to be beekeepers. We're planning out a garden. I even signed up for a local rowing club, like literally rowing a boat on Lake Superior with a team. I am just very curious about what I want to do and who I want to be. And again, a lot of the things that I'm like very excited about right now, if you would have asked me a year ago, two years ago, I would have laughed and been like, no, that is not me. And now I'm like, oh, I feel like I'm kind of like awakening with just more bandwidth to be more curious and to explore those curiosities.

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15:14Okay, I have been on this ruthless pursuit to purge any clothes that I'm not actually wearing. Like if I haven't reached for it in months, it's gotta go. I am trying to be really intentional about what I bring into my closet right now, which means I am only buying pieces that I know I will actually wear and use. Revolve just gets it though. I'm literally wearing my brown Autry sneakers from there right now and my new suede purse. It fits my laptop in it. So it's basically a fancy shoulder bag that works for everything. I love finding pieces like that. Things that look good, but also work hard for my actual life.

15:48Their holiday shop is live right now with all the good stuff. Sparkly party dresses, cozy sets, cute gifts, everything you need for whatever is on your calendar. And it's all in one place, which makes shopping feel way less overwhelming. Whether it's a weekend away, a big night out, or a holiday party, your dream wardrobe is just one click away. Head to revolve.com forward slash gold digger, shop my edit and take 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger. Fast two day shipping, easy returns. It's literally the only place you need to shop from. That's revolve.com forward slash gold digger to shop my favorites and get 15 % off your first order with the code gold digger.

16:27Offer available for a limited time. So happy shopping. I've also been talking to my friends and just been like really transparent about where I'm at. And especially with people who can hold a safe space and understand this experience, even if it's not the same as theirs, I feel like being able to vocally share, like I am burnt out and these are the things I'm thinking about, or these are the realizations I'm having, or this is the way I'm feeling right now. It is really hard to find people that can relate to your experience, no matter where you're at in your life. And so I feel like oftentimes I kind of just shut down and I shut people out when I'm in a phase like this.

17:06And this time around, I've been so open and honest with my friends. And I'm like thinking of three people off the top of my brain that like, I send them a voice memo. I was like, okay, here's what I'm going through right now. And this is what I'm navigating. And I don't even need advice. I just want to like, let you in. And the more that I've shared this feeling, the more that other people can relate to it. And it makes me feel so much less alone. And I feel like there is this movement of women who are realizing that like, we want businesses that give us freedom. We don't want to be on the hustle game.

17:46We don't want more, more, more. We want enough and we want like full lives. And maybe this has always been around and I'm just waking up to it quite possibly. But like, I do feel like there's a shift and there is a new type of entrepreneur being born and I'm excited about it. And so it's like the more that I speak to other women who are in similar stages of life, especially with other moms who are running businesses, the more that I feel understood and related with. And it's just been really, really great to like let people in and to also not have to say like a million caveats, right? Because when you enter conversations and you're like, I sound so ungrateful right now, or like, nobody's going to understand this.

18:29You're not even giving people a chance to try to understand you. And so that's been really good. Another thing I've been doing is being really transparent with my team. I want my team to know what I'm working through. I want them to know where I'm at. I want them to know what I'm hoping for. And so I literally had a team call and it was such an interesting call. There is such dichotomy in it because on one part of the meeting, we are celebrating this huge launch and just this beautiful team effort. And like, wow, look at what we did. And on the other side of that meeting, I was also sharing, here's where I'm at in my personal life.

19:03And I just, I need to be free to up right now to like explore what's next. And I'm not afraid of evolution and change. I just don't even know what it is because I'm so in the weeds right now. And so I think that as a leader, that transparency with a team is just like so powerful because, you know, there's so many parts of us that like want to show up. Like we've got this all together. We've got this all figured out. You don't have to worry about anything. And I don't want my team to worry about anything. There's nothing for them to worry about, but I also want them to be in on my human experience and to know like as someone who's leading, like as a visionary, this is what I need to find the next vision.

19:40And so I've been very transparent with my team and they've been so amazing. And I hope that I offer the same opportunity for them to be transparent with whatever they're facing in their own life. And so I just am grateful to be able to be in community with the team that I've built and to be able to feel safe enough to say, like, I love you guys. And I love what we've built. And this is amazing. And we are breaking records and we are doing more than we ever dreamed we could. And I also don't think this is the end. I think there's more for us. Another thing I've been doing is like taking more breaks.

20:15And there's been a huge shift. I shared this before on the show. I saw this quote and I don't know where it originated, but the quote was, instead of asking yourself, did I work hard enough to deserve rest? Ask yourself, did I rest enough to do my best work? And ever since I heard that line, it just resonated so deeply with me because I think I've been wired my entire life of do all the hard work and then like have the joy. And I have been this queen of like delaying joy and gratification because I don't believe I've worked hard enough to actually enjoy it. And so I've been trying to flip that on its head and really rest, be still, look at prioritizing that first and then work.

20:57And so it can feel counterintuitive to the wiring. so many of us have as achievers, but it has been so powerful. And so I've been taking more breaks. I've been really kind of setting up my days with a different rhythm that allows for more breaks, which again, such a privilege. I understand that. But I've also just been like really honoring, like, I think I just need a break. I think I just need to rest. And there's a quote by Banksy. And it's like, when you get tired, rest, don't quit. And I think so many people are quick to quit when really all they need is a rest. So I've been taking more breaks.

21:30The next thing I've been working on is breaking the endless cycle of scrolling. Isn't it funny how we literally go from like Instagram to email to Slack to Facebook, back to Instagram, back to email. It's like, we're looking for work. We're looking for entertainment. We're looking for distraction. And one of the things that we've been doing, we've been doing this for a very long time. So one, we don't sleep with our phones in our bedrooms. We have not done that for years and years and years. Like our bedroom is a space for reading and sleeping. We also got this awesome box in our pantry where you plug your phone in and basically gamifies the experience of not being on your phone.

22:05And so Drew and I have gotten into beautiful habits surrounding our phone use. And so I feel like overall our habits are pretty good, but I can also notice like where my thumb literally just goes to different apps when I'm trying to distract myself or be bored. And so I've been really trying to be mindful about my consumption, even this morning, I logged on and I saw that one of my good friends was diagnosed with breast cancer. I read a terrible story in people magazine about a woman who passed away from sepsis after delivering a stillborn child and like just seeing all these different things.

22:42And like, it just totally hammered my mood. And it was such a reminder of like, if I want to be creative, I have to focus on being the creator. It doesn't mean blocking out life. Like that, it doesn't mean avoiding it, but it also means that we have to be conscious consumers. And when I started consuming that stuff, all I started to feel was like this heaviness. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I got to get out of this. And so just trying to break that endless cycle of like jumping from app to app to app, looking for something. And instead like looking up, looking around, like what could I be engaging in, in my life outside of this?

23:16I have been reading a lot more. I love reading. I have always been a reader. I read every single night before bed. I read a devotional every single night. And then I read a book for fun. I cannot read business books or health books. It just I fall asleep right away. So I have been reading at bedtime. But I have also been reading outside of bedtime. Fridays is my day off where we do a four day work week. So Fridays is kind of like my special day. And lately, I've been climbing into a bunk bed in our house and just reading and like turning the lights off and reading my Kindle and just like relaxing into a book.

23:50And so I love reading and I've just been reading for fun. So if any of you have great book recommendations that are fun or quick or thriller reads, send them to me on Instagram. I would love it. I am just being like a very excited reader these days. And I just feel like it's so fun. And also like my kids love reading. I don't know. I just love reading. Okay. I've also been journaling more and I have my five minute a day journal, which has been so helpful to just like track phases and trends in my life and business and like see where things align and see like where the tension is or like what might be burning me out.

24:24But beyond just doing like five minutes a day, I've also been like writing again and just writing for the heck of it. And I'm really proud of myself because I think oftentimes I love to write when I things out. And so I'm like writing in the midst of this, of just like how I'm feeling and just documenting this part of it, because I think this is a huge part of the journey. And it's so interesting too, because when I hit burnout again, there was a part of me that was like, I didn't think I would get here again. Like I thought I learned my lessons the last few times and I haven't been burned out in a long time.

24:55Like I'm very proud to say, I feel like my last season of burnout was probably before I had kids. And so it was almost surprising when it knocked back on my door of like, Oh, I thought I got rid of you. Nope, you're here. You're just here in a different version. And so journaling has just been really good for me because I feel like whatever is happening in my life right now, it is pivotal. Like it is going to be a phase of life that I look back on and recognize that there were so many like blessings in the burnout or that the burnout led me to the next chapter, the next stage, the next season.