826: The Secret to Talking About Your Business Without Feeling Awkward

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2:01Your dream doesn't have to make sense to everyone. It just has to matter to you. And so you have to learn how to release this need for validation. And I think that this is a huge trigger for a lot of us, especially around people that we know and love. I'm Jenna Kutcher, your host of the Gold Digger podcast. I escaped the corporate world at the age of 23 with nothing more than a$300 camera from Craigslist and a dream. Now I'm running a seven figure online business that feels even better than it looks all from my house in small town, Minnesota with my family. Here we value time as our currency. We mix the woo and the work and we are in the pursuit of building businesses that give us the freedom to live lives that we love.

2:46I've always loved turning big goals into reality, and I'm here to help you do the same. This isn't just a peek behind the curtain. Come along with me and my guests as we tear the whole curtain down. Every week we tackle practical, no-fluff marketing strategies and host honest discussions on what works and what doesn't. Join me and my expert guests for actionable insights to help you grow your dream business with confidence. Pull up a seat and get ready to be challenged, inspired, and empowered. This is the Gold Digger Podcast. Does your heart skip a beat when someone casually asks you, hey, how's your business going?

3:23Or what are you working on these days? If you're like I used to be, well, you might just straight up change the topic or you might play it down or keep it vague, sticking to a safe, polished answer. But with the holidays around the corner, you know, Aunt Jan will be at the table ready to share her opinion about your quote, a little business. So today we're getting real about the power of owning your story. No fluff, no sidestepping, just full on confidence in sharing what it is you're working on and what you're building. We're diving into how to talk about your work in a way that is simple and authentic to you, how to release the need for outside validation and how to celebrate your wins without holding back.

4:02If you're ready to put your passion front and center and head into the new year with a fresh sense of purpose, let's jump on in and share what really makes your business shine. When all your marketing team does is put out fires, well, they burn out and they burn out fast. Can you relate? Sifting through leads, creating content for infinite channels, endlessly searching for performance KPIs, it all takes a toll on our productivity and our mental health. But with HubSpot, you can stop burnout in its tracks. Plus, your team can achieve their best results without ever breaking a sweat. With HubSpot's collection of AI tools, Breeze, you can pinpoint the best leads possible, capture prospects attention with click worthy content, and access all your company's data in one place.

4:45No sifting through multiple tabs necessary. It is all waiting for your team in HubSpot. Keep your marketers cool and make your campaign results hotter than ever. Visit HubSpot.com slash marketers to learn more. That's HubSpot.com slash marketers. I will never forget the first time I shared that I was a photographer without extra caveats, without extra information. It was at the dentist's office. And I'm going to totally give credit to the fact that the dentist's hands were in my mouth as she was asking me, what do you do? Which honestly is like the worst question of all time. But she asked me, what do you do?

5:23And for the first time in my life, all I said was, I am a photographer. Now, why was this a big deal? Well, because for the last year, whenever somebody asked me what I did, I would always lead with, well, I'm an executive leader of human resources, which sounded super impressive and super fancy. And then I would say, and I'm trying to build a photography business on the side. Keyword trying is what I was saying, right? But that day in the dentist's office, it changed something for me. I had finally shared that I was a photographer. End statement. it. No extra caveats needed. And that was a really pivotal thing for me.

6:00And I don't know if any of you can relate that maybe you have a corporate job that you lean on that sounds impressive. And then your business is quote, like a little hobby or a side hustle, and you lead with what sounds impressive. But for me, that was a big day where I just owned what I was working on, who I was, and what I was offering to the world. So how do we begin today's episode in learning how to talk about our business or our goals or our dreams. Well, first, we have to learn how to clearly communicate our vision without overwhelm. When you are sharing what you do, the biggest thing I can advise you on is to keep it very clear and keep it simple.

6:41People do not have to understand your entire business model. They don't need to understand the nitty gritty behind the scenes of what you're doing. You want to lead not with your offer or the features of the thing that you're building. You want to lead with your passion and your story around why you're doing what you're doing. If you focus on who you're helping and the results you're creating, that is how somebody will start to understand the what in terms of what you're doing and the why. So how do we do that? First, we have to own our story. I want for you to understand what is your story and to learn and craft a very simple and clear way to talk about your business.

7:26What is it? There's a really, really simple statement that you can use. So you could say, I help, and then say a very short description of your audience, solve what is their problem with what is your solution to that problem? That is a very, very dialed down elevator pitchy way to communicate what it is that you're doing. you want to think about the why behind what you do and the who that you serve rather than getting bogged down into all the technical details let me tell you when somebody asks you what do you do they don't necessarily care about the technical details like you do they want to know what do you create why are you creating it and who is it for that's like as simple as it can be what's interesting is when I think about owning our story I often think about when I was just starting out When I started out as a photographer, I was entirely self-taught.

8:17I'd never taken an art class. I didn't have a formal training. And I felt like I didn't belong in the industry. I felt like such an imposter. I constantly asked myself, who am I to be doing this? But here's the thing. I didn't wait until I had it all figured out to start. I started messy. I started sharing what I was doing with confidence. And I pretended like I was my own PR agent. Let me rewind really quick. This is a fun fact about me. When I was in college, I studied PR, public relations. I was like obsessed with Lauren Conrad from the Hills, like Teen Vogue. I wanted to be in that office in New York City.

8:55This is probably aging me right now. But I loved PR. I loved the idea of sharing news releases and like keeping people in the know and like staying front of mind through what you were sharing. And so one thing that I got really right is that even when imposter syndrome crept in, I got really good at sharing what I was doing and the progress that I was making with confidence. Like I could have fooled anyone, even my mom as to what I was doing. It's not necessarily, I don't love the quote, like fake it till you make it, but like, just show up, like be your own publicist. Cause guess what? When you're starting out, there's a very good chance you cannot hire other people to talk about what you're doing for you.

9:34And so you want to start showing up. And it's so funny because I will still to this day get Facebook memories of the posts that I was creating around that stage of life when I was starting my business. Anytime I bought a new piece of equipment, I would literally post a photo of it on Facebook and be like, welcome this new lens to my family. Like AKA reminder, I'm a photographer or I am so excited for Jenna and James's wedding in Kenosha, Wisconsin. And every time I did that, It was basically just this reminder to the world of like, oh, yeah, Jen is a wedding photographer. Oh, you know, if somebody's office mate gets engaged, like I know a wedding photographer.

10:12Oh, I know this girl from college, etc. So here's what I want for you to know. Own your story and figure out ways to share it in like mini elevator pitches. You want to constantly be reminding people of what you're doing in building. And so this can be really hard if you're feeling imposter syndrome, which is why you want to nail down that statement. I help people solve problem with solution. The next thing that you want to really get good at in terms of clearly communicating what it is you're doing is using relatable language. Again, a lot of times we are prone to get bogged down in details that nobody cares about.

10:50We are also prone in getting bogged down with language that is internal language within your industry or within your network that other people do not know. For example, when I was a wedding photographer, I was super fortunate to win the Wisconsin Bride Best Photography in Wisconsin Award many years in a row. Now, to me, I know exactly what that means. To someone who is engaged in planning a wedding, that doesn't really mean anything to them. And so you could say something like, I won this award, which is basically like the Grammy for wedding photography. I always mix up like Grammys, Tonys, etc.

11:29But you understand the picture. Like, how can you relate the internal jargon to someone who is on the outside and help them to understand? And so you want to make sure that while you may have impressive titles or prestigious awards or things like that, that you are working on, you want to lose the internal jargon to be able to relate to somebody and express it in a way that they understand. And so when talking to family or friends who might not understand your industry or the language that you use, it's key to keep it conversational, give space for them to ask questions back, but focus on the impact of what you do.

12:05So again, here's like a prompt. If you need help with this, literally write these prompts down and practice them before you go sit at your Thanksgiving table with judgmental relatives. I am passionate about, and then share what your work is because it helps people and then share what their result is. Again, this keeps the conversation super light and also meaningful. And if you need help with this, you can go into chat GPT and share some of the language that you would use and say, explain this to a third grader. I mean, it has been said that presidential elections have been won because the presidential candidate is speaking at a third grade level.

12:42So do not forget the power of using relatable language to help you connect what it is that you're doing, what you're building, what your vision is to someone from the outside to help them understand. And I will argue that this key point alone is going to help people buy into what you're doing, including your clients. So this is an area that isn't just for conversations. This also goes for copy using relatable language, helping them to understand why you do what you do and why you're the best at it. This podcast is brought to you by Mercury, banking that helps entrepreneurs do more with their money.

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15:14Go to shopify.com slash gold digger, shopify.com slash gold digger. The second key point in today's episode in learning how to talk about your business is releasing the need for validation and letting go of judgment. I think this one is honestly incredibly challenging. And you know what it challenges? It challenges our egos. I know for me that when I left my corporate job and this impressive title behind and the door plate and my own office and all these different things, it felt so easy to share what I did because people kind of had a vision of that. And in my family, like I am a first generation entrepreneur.

15:58I didn't have any entrepreneurial examples. Like I was kind of creating this whole new category for what we were considering a career. And validation is such an ego thing, right? It's not what do I think about what I'm doing? It's like, what does everyone else think about what I'm doing? And I think this can be so hard. Here's a funny story. I remember when I was a wedding photographer. I was traveling for a wedding and I had a layover in between my flights. And so I was sitting at the bar of a restaurant and I had my computer out and this guy sat next to me. He had this like super fancy suit, this Rolex watch, like the shiny leather shoes, the whole nine yards.

16:37And we got to talking. And I remember just like telling him about my business. I was a couple years into my business. I had already found a lot of success. And I remember that as he was leaving, he was like, good luck with your little business, like little business. How many of us have had somebody just diminish our dreams and our hard work with just that one extra word, the word little. And I remember almost laughing to myself because at that point in my career, I was likely earning the same amount that this fabulous businessman was. And yet like he did not validate my work or my business or what I had built.

17:14And I just remember being so frustrated and like laughing it off of like, good luck, bro. Like you're working for someone else. You're on their time and their schedule. Like I get to design my own life and just feeling this like inner angst, which now looking back, it's so easy to see like it's ego, it's ego. And here's what I want you to understand is that not everyone is meant to understand the path you're on. And that is okay. Your dream doesn't have to make sense to everyone. It just has to matter to you. And so you have to learn how to release this need for validation. And I think that this is a huge trigger for a lot of us, especially around people that we know and love.

17:55That is why I wanted to create this episode before the holidays came around, because validation is a really big thing in our lives. And a lot of us are achievers. We're Enneagram threes. We want people to say, well done. You're doing it. Look at you go. And a lot of times when you are building something that hasn't been built yet, or you have this vision that other people don't understand, validation is nowhere to be found. And so not everyone is going to get it. And that is okay. And when you have this massive mindset shift, it will change your life and it'll bring you a new level of freedom.

18:33And I would argue that if everyone loves and understands what you do, you are not actually speaking to the people that you can specifically help the most, right? You do not need everyone's approval in order to move forward and to succeed. One of the things that I've noticed within myself, especially as I've kind of matured as an entrepreneur with over a decade in this journey being done, is I used to ask a lot of people like, is this the right move? Or I'm thinking about doing this, or this is what my dreams are. What about this idea? And I feel like I have really tightened in my circle over the last few years to a few trusted friends.

19:14As I'm saying this, I think of two people that I go to when I have a new idea or a pivot or a transition I want to make. And I've just noticed that I have really started to understand that not everybody has to get it. Not everyone is going to understand the path that you are on. And that is okay. I mean, I remember when I made that decision to leave behind my 401k and my salary that I had worked really hard to get, there were a lot of raised eyebrows and a lot of questions. People thought I was crazy for leaving what looks like a stable career. And I would argue it was incredibly stable. I had my whole next five years of my life planned out for me.

19:53And when I really got honest about what do I want, it was nothing of what my life looked like. I looked super successful from the outside looking in, which is why I think a lot of people were hesitant for me to make this leap of faith. But at the same point too, I had this vision that was like literally pulling me forward. It felt like a life raft in my life. And so if you are in that place where it feels like you are swimming against the current, know this, the only validation you need is your own belief in your dream. If you believe in your dream, if you can see the vision so clearly, ultimately at the end of the day, that is what matters.

20:34Here's a quote from my book, How are you really? It says, here's the thing about visions and callings. It's not anyone else's job to understand yours. It is no one else's responsibility to know it before you do, to give you the vision for your life or to figure it out for you. Others can and will help you, but the source must be you. If someone fails to see or relate to your aspirations, it's often because they aren't as close to your journey as you are. And that's perfectly fine. In fact, I would argue that's great. A calling or a desired way of living is usually subtle. It's not this like loud proclamation.

21:08It can be challenging to articulate the feelings that you are feeling succinctly, which is why this episode even exists, particularly when you're still navigating the path, right? It's easy when you've arrived to be like, yeah, I planned this all along. This is what I've been working for. Ha ha ha jokes on you. But when you are in the process, like when you are in the thick of it in the building phase, that can be really hard. And what's interesting is like when I think about like, what is the vision for my life? I often explore questions that are deep like that in intimate spaces. Like when I go inward, that is when I get that answer.

21:46Not when I go outward, not when I get people's opinions. I mean, it's even funny these days, like think about a lot of times when people are pregnant, like they don't want to tell anybody their baby names because they don't want opinions. And I want to argue and say that like, if you are someone who you know, you struggle with validation. And if people are going to, I hate to say it, like piss on your idea, maybe it is best to not even share it with those people. Like if you know that that is going to crush you or kill your momentum. I saw this post the other day and I might butcher it, but it was kind of like build the house in private, hold the housewarming in public, like plan the marriage in private, celebrate the wedding in public, like just in this way of like everything on social media these days is like this watch and see type thing.

22:35Like look at me, show and tell. And I love aspects of that because I think it allows you to let people into the journey. But if you are someone who is so sensitive to judgment and validation, maybe what you're working on needs to stay close to your heart. But if you're someone who's looking to like, no, I freaking want to communicate. I want people to understand it. I want to be able to share this thing. Then keep on listening. But here's what I will say. There are so many mindset shifts that need to happen as you dive into building or pivoting or creating something new. And if you need to see in your life where you need the inner work of entrepreneurship is going to do that for you.

23:17One pro tip here in releasing the need for validation is building your inner confidence. And one of the best ways that I found in doing that is through celebrating and seeing your progress. When you start to see your wins, whether they're big or small, when you start to pay attention and track your results, when you start to see that you are finally being consistent for the first time in your life, your inner confidence deeply responds. And so if you are someone who really struggles with validation and judgment, start to learn how to validate yourself. And that will carry forward in your relationships and ultimately in the way that you communicate.

23:56The last thing that I want to talk about in terms of communicating what it is that you're doing, what you're working on and how it's going is learning how to celebrate your success without downplaying it. I talk about this in my book oftentimes, and it's like, how quick are we to diminish our life's work, right? To just play small. And a lot of times we can downplay our own success in order to make other people feel comfortable. And so what I would encourage you to do is to own it and lead with gratitude, like recognize how far you've come and the way that you're changing the world and the lives that you're impacting, what you've been able to bring to life.

24:36What I think is incredible about this and what I think is underutilized is that oftentimes we look at this as bragging, right? But you're not actually bragging. You are sharing the fruits of your hard work and you're celebrating it. And in turn, in doing that, you are showing other people what's possible and you are inviting them to celebrate their successes too. And so can we just like normalize owning your success. Like, I just think that this is something that is so fascinating. And I've often thought about this through the lens of like women entrepreneurs and men entrepreneurs. And I don't love to generalize on this show because I think that there are people in every category in every type of business.

25:21But it's interesting to me that like men showing their private jets or their Maseratis or, you know, their five vacation homes, like for them, that's super like inspirational. Like a lot of men think like, Oh, I want that. And a lot of times for women, if you were to show any of that, women would be like, who's bankrolling you, or it's your daddy's money, or like, how did you get that? And I just think it's really interesting. And so I think oftentimes women have an even more challenging time normalizing our success. and figuring out ways to communicate what our success is in order to either help people understand what we're doing or gain the validation that we deeply desire.