837: How to Finally Stop Caring What Others Think with Mel Robbins

27:40Yeah. Therefore you are so weak that you have to block people. That is the absolute wrong advice because it keeps you trapped and it keeps you showing up. Like how do you show up fully if you're actually hiding yourself from your family? Right. Right. How do you show up fully if you're not allowing your sorority sisters from college to see what you're doing now? What you're doing is picking and choosing why, because you actually want to try to control what people think of you. And I'm here to tell you, it is a waste of your precious time and energy. And, you know, I want to share something else because you said earlier, Jenna, something that was so astute, which is women in particular are exhausted, that we collapse into bed, we wake up exhausted, our thoughts are racing.

28:38We feel that, you know, if one ball drops, everything's going to implode, that it's all up to us. We never have time to advance our goals, to put ourselves first. And here's how the let them theory is going to change your life. This is how it's changed my life. Life is like a death by a thousand cuts. And you don't realize this now, but when you start saying, let them. You're going to realize that all day long, you're allowing other people's behavior and you're allowing things that are beyond your control to drain your life force energy. You know, there's this huge movement around microdosing as a way to kind of lift your spirits and your energy and your focus up, I want you to understand that the reason why you're so tired is you're experiencing micro-draining of your energy and your time.

29:39And I'll give you an example. So the day after I discovered the let them theory, I was standing in a line. And have you ever been at like a garden center? I know you are a major gardener just like me. And you got - Big old cart and all my soil. Yeah, exactly. And there's like five people in front of you and there's only one cashier. Yep. And it's like beep, beep, beep. Pause for small talk. Beep. Yep. Beep. Oh, this doesn't have a price. How do you feel in that moment? Stressed, anxious, frustrated, all the things. All the things. And then you start rocking. and then you probably, if you're like me, you turn to the person next to you and you roll your eyes and then you're looking around and you're angry at the person who's restocking plants because they're not coming up.

30:30And next thing you know, you think that you can run the garden center better than anybody else and you're all agitated. And this is an example of why you're so tired. Because you just allowed something that is out of your control to do two things. Number one, you allowed it to stress you out. What you are describing is what happens when your body goes into a medical state called a stress response. You go into fight or flight. And the problem for most of us is if we jack ourselves up like that around a grocery line or traffic or something that our mother-in-law said or some comment on a post, we tend to stay in fight or flight, which impacts focus, which impacts your energy, which impacts your mood.

31:15and it was because of something stupid. And the second reason why this is really kind of this micro moment that has a major impact on you is that because you're so focused on what's happening out there, the beep, beep, beep and what's not happening, you actually miss how much control you have. So in that situation, what you're going to do, Anytime you're frustrated, anytime you're annoyed, anytime somebody hurts you or worries you or bothers you, or you have an opinion, or you feel that adjective, just say, let them. And what immediately happens, Jenna, is you're going to feel this release. You're going to feel your shoulders drop.

32:00You're going to feel a little bit of peace. You're going to feel the stress leave your body. And you're acknowledging when you say, let them, this is not in my control. Therefore, it is not worth my time and energy. And then when you say, let me, you bring all of the time and energy and the power back to you and your response to it. Because what you can control, I can control what I choose to think about this. I can control what I'm going to do or don't do in response. And in that instance, I could close my eyes and meditate. I could call my mom because I am trying to make more of an effort to reach out.

32:41And I could use the time like that. And you know what else I could do? I could actually leave. I could take my little cart full of the soil and the plants and I could put it over on the side and I could walk out. And I certainly have control over what I do with these feelings. Do I let them run me over and ruin my day? Or do I just let them rise and fall? And when you recognize that in any situation you have power, you can leave any line, you You can leave any interview. You can leave any conversation, any date, any text chain, any dining room table, any business partnership, anytime you choose to.

33:18But if you allow the world around you and people's moods and things beyond your control and things that are beneath you to actually bother you, this is the reason why you're so tired. It's because you unknowingly give power away all day long. And I can't wait for you to start using this because what I discovered almost immediately is holy cow, I have so much more time than I thought. Holy cow. I'm actually not that tired at eight o 'clock at night because I haven't allowed the world around me or some dumb text or some, you know, immature thing that a friend did to actually drain me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

34:03You know what's crazy is like, I can think of specific people in my life, but I think think a lot of times people, we think that like our thoughts and emotions and energy go outward. Like if that person cuts you off, you think like you being mad at them is going to punish them. And like what we're missing is that like the only person being punished is ourselves, right? Like all of that doesn't go out into the ether in the way that you think it does, including your own judgments against other people. Like you think like I'm sitting here rolling my eyes at her post, guess what? If she's following this theory, she don't care.

34:41She's not impacted. Yeah. I've been trying to teach my kids that too, of like, you are in control. Like this is your home. You are in control of the energy you bring. You are in control of the energy you leave. Like no one should have the power to change that energy. Like picture yourself in a bubble. And because we share the same therapist, one of the resources I often picture during therapy is like a bubble. Like I want to be in my bubble and people do not have access into the bubble. And, you know, it's interesting because in a world that is so full of judgment and vitriol and hate and bigotry and all these things, what's interesting is, is that where it's coming from, we think that it's, you know, hurting other people.

35:27Like we're aiming it at these targets. And at the end of the day, the only person that is being impacted is ourselves and our life and the quality of it and the pleasure we get out of it. You know, Jenna, just so beautifully said. And one of the things that I'm really excited about is that I didn't discover this until I was 54 years old. Yeah. I was not in charge of my energy because I didn't know how to be. and you know there's a reason why all three of my kids are in therapy it's because i totally screwed them up in in a lot of ways because i was so reactive i allowed the world i allowed narcissistic personality styles i allowed stress at work to get into my cells and my tone of voice and my energy.

36:21And I literally, you know, I believe that all adults are eight-year-olds in big bodies. And so I would come home every day to my poor little kids who are just doing their thing, playing with the Tupperware on the floor. And I'm the mom erupting. I'm throwing the purse on the counter. I'm the one that's in a bad mood. I've got the short tone of voice because I, first of all, did not have the let them theory. So I didn't know how to protect myself from the outside world. And I also had never understood how important it is to manage your energy and to learn how to process the wave of emotions that hit without vomiting them on other people or taking it out on other people.

37:07And so, you know, I say that and I own it because one of the things I'm so excited about is how many new parents and young parents and, you know, people in their 20s and 30s who are allowing the world to get to them. And then what do we do? We take it out on the people that we love the most. That you have the opportunity to show up so differently because of this theory. And, you know, one of the things that I'm super excited about too is that all of the things that I am now talking about are being championed and supported by 50 years of research in neuroscience. And some of the most renowned psychologists and psychiatrists and researchers in relationships that this is actually how you work with the wiring of human behavior.

38:04And it's not in controlling each other. It's in truly letting people be who they are and who they're not and learning how to settle yourself and manage your energy and your time so that you are bringing calming energy. You're very clear and confident and compassionate with people. You're not like taking it out on everybody. And so I love what you just said, because I think your daughters are insanely lucky to be parented by you and Drew. And Chris and I we're not those parents. We weren't because we didn't have the tools and we hadn't done the work that I see the two of you doing. And it impacts your children.

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39:22This is hands down the best bedding I've slept on and I'm so genuinely excited for you to try it. Start building your sanctuary of comfort this fall with Bowl & Branch. For a limited time, get 20 % off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at bowlandbranch.com slash gold digger. That's bowlandbranch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D branch.com slash gold digger to save 20 % and unlock free shipping. Exclusions apply. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm all about creating spaces where people actually want to be. So when we started hosting on Airbnb, it honestly felt like the most natural thing in the world. and it's turned into one of the best decisions we've ever made.

40:04Over the years, we've hosted hundreds of couples in our little spaces. We've had so many repeat guests come back and we've created this incredible community, not just with our guests, but also with the people who help us care for our space. Whether you've bought properties as an investment or have unused rooms waiting to be shared, hosting on Airbnb is a practical and profitable choice. And just think about it. If you've put a ton of time, effort, and work into your home, someone out there probably would love to experience it while they're traveling. So next time you're planning a trip or want to make some extra income from your spaces, you should definitely host on Airbnb.

40:39Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host. Well, it's interesting because like one of the reasons why we love hanging out with you guys so much is it's like a visual of like what our lives can be in 20 years. Like literally like our kids will be the same age as your kids. We got to spend time with your daughter and her friends in Greece. Like what the heck? And you know, Sawyer wrote this book with me. Yes. And seeing that and it's just absolutely incredible. But one of the things that I think is so cool about this coming out and for so many people in my audience too, who have kids is imagine using this theory, using these words when your kids come home from school and say, you know, Felicity wore boys clothes today.

41:25Cool. Let her or so-and-so was arguing with so-and-so great. Let them. And I honestly think that like, this is the opportunity of a lifetime to teach our kids how to let people be who they are, to allow that to not impact them and to really reframe like small minds talk about people, big minds talk about ideas and like, let our kids experience that. And I just, I think that from a multi-generational standpoint, even this weekend, we were with some family members who are talking about, you know, so-and-so and they did this and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, cool. And I was like, as my friend Mel would say, let them.

42:08And it, and you know what happens and I want everyone to do this in a conversation is it stops the conversation. It literally ends because there is nothing left to be said. And it allows you to actually go deeper on the things that you care about and matter. And it's just like, I can hear your voice because I hear it all the time in my head, just saying, cool, let them, cool, let them. And there's a couple of things I want to unpack here because this also is a boundary. So when you say let them, it's the ultimate boundary. And here's what the boundary is at. It's a boundary between you and things you can't control.

42:48And it's instantaneous. And And then when you say, let me, that's another boundary. And it's a boundary with yourself where you are not going to cross the line and waste time and energy on petty things or on being a little small-minded person. You are going to pull your time and energy back and actually use it to align with what matters to you and to be a kinder and more compassionate person. And what's super cool about when you say, let them and let me is since it really is about what you can control and what you can't, you now are valuing your time and you're valuing your energy because every single time you say it, you're acknowledging what the cost is here, which means you're also acknowledging how precious your time and energy is, which is why you protect it.

43:44and you deploy it for good. And a second thing that I wanted to share that I'm super excited about, and I'm going to just share some of this right now because so many of the people that follow your work do have young kids, and it's this. So I spoke with just an extraordinary guy. Boy, do I wish I had met him when I was your age. His name is Dr. Stuart Ablon. Now, Dr. Stuart Ablon is a psychologist. He's a professor at Harvard Medical School. He runs Think Kids program at the number one research hospital on the planet, which is Mass General Brigham, part of the Harvard system in Boston. And he has been a psychologist for 30 years working with children.

44:29And his approach, and he wrote this guide to using the Let Them Theory as a resource inside the Let book because you can't just let your kids smear chocolate all over your kitchen or stay up all night or vape. There are times where you have to step in because of what your role is as a parent. But 50 years of clinical research in neuroscience shows that the exact same thing happens when you try to make an adult do something as when you try to make a kid do something. And whenever you try to motivate, pressure, guilt, push, or like just guilt somebody into changing, you don't actually motivate somebody to change.

45:18You create resistance to it. And he has this whole approach where let them is what you say as a parent, when your kid's behavior is driving you crazy. Okay. Like you're at the end of your rope, your kid is tantruming, they won't go upstairs, or you're trying to be on a Zoom call and they're doing their thing, you say let them because you're acknowledging they're just a little kid that is not able to manage their emotions because managing your emotions is actually a skill and nobody's born doing it. So when you say let them, you release control of their behavior. When you say, let me, you remind yourself that your power is in the response to the behavior.

46:05And if you can respond in a way that's not reactive, and this is again, where I made all the mistakes. If my kids were upsetting me, I'd just scream at them. If I had let them, I'd be able to let go for a minute and not get triggered by them. And then I would say, let me, let me respond like the mature adult. And he has this whole approach that I love, which is the let them theory and parenting and neuroscience is really don't ever try to make your kids do something. You want to take approach that is work with them to do something. Because when you say, let me, and you settle yourself and you think, okay, my job here, let me work with them.

46:50Meaning if they're throwing a tantrum, I've seen you do this, Jenna, you get on the floor, you put your arms around them. You're with them. I know you're upset. I know this. It's hard for me too. And what do you think you want to do about it? That's his number one question. What do you think you want to do about it? Even your four-year-old has a sense of what they want to do about it. And now you're not screaming at them. You're not pushing them. You're not pressuring them. You're not guilting them. You're now with them, which creates connection and actually based on all of the 50 years of research, they're going to be influenced by you.

47:30And he has this theory about people. It's this philosophy that I believe is true. People do well when they can. And if somebody in your life is not doing well, whether it's an adult or a child, I want you to remember something. Everybody wants to do well. Everybody wants to be happy. Everybody wants to thrive. If somebody's not doing well, they're exhibiting challenging behavior, I want you to start with the philosophy, they'd be doing well if they can. And if they're not doing well, it's not because they don't want to do well. It's because there's something in their way that makes them feel like they can't do it.

48:06And with kids, oftentimes, it's just being completely overwhelmed by your emotions. And learning how to process them and move through them and do hard things is a skill. And it's true. It's why every adult's an eight-year-old because none of us were taught this. And so if you're not doing well, I want you to know something, that it's likely not because you can't. It's because on some level you feel a little discouraged or you feel like it's not going to matter. And the let them theory is also going to help you because, you know, let's go back to why you listen to Jenna. You know, Jenna is a person who makes you see bigger possibilities for yourself.

48:45And more importantly, through her example and through her teaching, she's actually giving you the roadmap. So you are getting the step-by-step of what to do to achieve your dreams, to make more money, to start the podcast, to monetize Pinterest, to be successful in affiliate marketing, to make enough money to take your kids on a trip, whatever it is that it, like she has told you exactly what to do. And I'm here to tell you, the only reason why you're not doing it is because of your fear of what other people are going to think. That you copied somebody, that, you know, what business do you have?

49:26That they're going to think you're going to look stupid if you fail. These are all things you can't control. And so learning to just let them think negative thoughts and learning to let the nervousness and fear as you try new things and as you follow the formulas and the strategies Jen is teaching you that have worked for her, that work for millions of people, that's why they are formulas because they work. If you allow the feelings to rise and fall and you learn how to just let those feelings rise and fall and not run you over, you'll no longer be paralyzed. You'll see yourself doing the little things that actually change everything.

50:05You know, I got to share something because I think this is so important. I have a friend up here who spent all this time writing a book and she even hired a consultant to help her sell the book. And she was talking to a publisher for a long time and they were all excited. And then she sent the proposal, put on all this work, and they said, sorry, no. And when she asked why, they said, well, you have no social media following. So she came to me for advice and I said, well, first things first, go to Jenna. Take every course she has, do everything she says. And I want to say publicly, she told me the other day that she had done all this stuff that you recommended.

50:42Again, in your courses, all this stuff. She was changing her GoDaddy account to like a professional account and the dude on the phone for her website, Laura's like, wow, what have you been doing? She's like, what do you mean? he's like well in the last 30 days you've gone from like 17 people visiting your website in a month to 319 000 people visiting you in the last 30 days she's like i almost dropped the phone mail this stuff works i'm like well no kidding it works and she's like why didn't i do this before I'm like, because you were thinking about what people would think. And so again, you know, Jenna and I are in your life because we've been there.

51:36We have stopped ourselves for years. Luckily, Jenna figured it out way before I did. I mean, hell, I was still like a decade in Loserville for where Jenna is before I started having the breakthrough and changing my life. But you are so much more capable than you believe you are. And the reason why, if you're not happy or you're overwhelmed or you're tired or you're frustrated, or you're just not seeing the results that you want, the problem isn't you. The problem is all this power you give to other people's thoughts and moods and disappointment and comparison and feeling like everybody else has somehow got what you want, which means you can't have it.

52:16No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. you're doing life backwards. I did too for 54 fricking years. Stop, let them because other people can never actually block your way. Other people will never take what is meant for you. The only person in life who can block your way is you. See other people lead the way. Jenna and I do what we do because we are leading the way. We're holding the light high for you saying, come on, come on over here. You're not playing against anyone in life. You're playing with them. And if you understand that happiness and success and money and love and friendship, these are all in limitless supply.

53:03They're there for the taking. I didn't understand this till I was 54 years old. If I saw Jenna has a podcast, I'm like, oh, for God's sakes, Jenna's already done it. She's been doing it for five years. She's got a hundred million. How the hell, what do I have to say? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Mel, let them, let them be successful. Let them have the renovated kitchen. Let them get the nice new Bronco. Let them have the wedding in Lake Cuomo. Let them have the amazing birth announcements. Why? Because other people lead the way. And when you notice that you keep looking at people and comparing yourself, there is a message there.

53:42You want that for you. See, I don't compare myself, Jenna, to anybody that has a Lamborghini because I don't want one. Yeah. Yeah. So whoever you're comparing yourself to that's getting you all riled up, good. Yeah. Thank them because they're leading the way. You need to stop using comparison to torture yourself and you need to actually live in reality. That everything that other people have created, it's there for you to create too. Figure out the formula, follow it. Let people think negative thoughts, let people not understand, let it take a long time, and just let other people lead the way.

54:22Because if somebody else has done it, you can do it too. Now, it might not look the same, it may not happen on the same timeline, But if you open yourself up to both that possibility and the fact that you're capable, you are capable through your actions and your attitude of achieving what you want if you will just stop giving so much power to everybody else and making other people a problem. They're not a problem. I have to tell you a story. So Mel, we were on a girl's trip a couple years ago and we were talking about everything. Like I think people imagine us like sitting around talking about like marketing and that's like 2 % of the conversations and everything else.

55:04We were talking about marriage and all the other things that women talk about. And afterwards, Mel like said, like, Jenna, you have to work with my therapist. I was like, I've never done therapy in my entire life. I don't know why. I'm just afraid. I don't know who I don't. I don't want to go through the process. And she like looked at me. She's like, my therapist is the smartest woman I've ever met in my life. And I'm going to connect you. And I really think this would be a great step. And anyways, fast forward now, I've been working with her over a year. Now family members of mine are working with her.

55:36I mean, the circle just continues in the sphere of influence is just absolutely amazing. But I was talking to our therapist yesterday and I said, you know, what's so funny, Anne, is I said, when Mel got interviewed by Oprah, I was exuding joy for her. Like I could, it was palpable. Like I told Mel, I texted her, I said, I ripped my mouth tape off in bed last night to tell Drew the news. That's how much I love you. Like I was all snuggled in ready to sleep and I couldn't sleep because I was literally just like oozing pure joy in celebrating a friend. And I said, what was interesting to me is that was a unique experience because I think women have been pitted up against each other.

56:20And I said, it was so interesting to sit in that thought and just hold that space of like pure joy without a shred of any other emotions creeping in of just like love for my friend. And she said, you're doing it. Like you're doing that work of, of what that is. You're literally following the let them theory in such a magical way. And I believe that women deeply crave that real ability to celebrate each other, and yet it is such a struggle. And so it was just so interesting to expand the awareness around that thought and that feeling of just nothing else creeping in but pure joy. Jenna, I was a walking red flag as a friend.

57:06No, I'm serious. I was one of those people that desperately wanted to be happy for my friends, but I was so insecure and obsessed with what other people thought and just riddled with anxiety and not grounded in my values and not living my life the way that I do now that absolutely anybody else's success made me jealous. anybody else winning made me feel like a loser and i know how enormous of a breakthrough and shift it is to truly feel this generosity of spirit and for me you know i'm again 56 This is something I've only experienced in my life in the last year or two. And for me personally, I was only able to do it because I started to realize the truth that that success or that moment that you see somebody else having, it doesn't take anything from you.

58:26No. You know, like if you're struggling to get pregnant and your good friend gets pregnant, their pregnancy does not rob you of yours. It doesn't prove that it's never going to happen to you. Yes, it's a mentally healthy response to feel a little grief in that moment. You and I have both had miscarriages. And so we know kind of what it feels like to feel that disappointment. But being able to know two things are true at once. Yeah. That there are going to be times in your life, and certainly when my husband and I were struggling, like couldn't pay the mortgage, could barely get groceries on the table.

59:06As my friends started to hit that point where they're renovating their kitchens and they're buying the nice cars and they're moving to the nicer towns, deep down somewhere, I was so happy for them. But the truth is all I felt on the outside was I fucking hate you. And why isn't it me? And when is it going to be me? and life isn't fair and why, like, just aimed it all back at myself. And so learning to truly let people live their lives and have their successes actually makes your life better and it makes the successes come to you faster and richer. And so I think it's, thank you for sharing that with me because it feels liberating to go through life and authentically be able to celebrate what's happening for other people without using it as a battering ram to feel sorry for yourself.

1:00:08And this is something that I've been reflecting on a lot since that extraordinary experience of sitting down with my idol, Oprah Winfrey. I mean, I've been watching her career for 35 years, more than any other human being on the planet other than Ann Davin. Oprah's work truly changed my life. I've used her tools, her magazines. I've read the book she's recommended. I learned from the experts. She truly showed me through the work that she did that there was something bigger that was possible. And so to sit across from her and finally meet her and And have it happen in a time in my life where she really views me as a peer.

1:00:55And that she was celebrating my work back to me. What was really interesting about that experience is she actually brought up the fact that she loved the parts around the let them theory around jealousy and around being able to celebrate people. and that, you know, one of the things I've really admired about her friendship with Gail is just how incredibly supportive Gail has always been of Oprah, just cheering from the rooftops. And I've always thought I want to be a friend like that, but I didn't know how. And what I've realized now is that the how comes from knowing that you're actually waking up every day and you're taking one step toward the things that you care about.

1:01:45And, you know, there's been a lot of time where I would sit, Jenna, and, you know, you and I talk very openly about things and I would be going like, okay, I just got named the fifth most followed podcast on Apple for 2023. Okay. I just wrote the single most successful self-published audio book in the world, The Five Second Rule. When are bigger people going to, like, when's somebody going to write a newspaper article? Like, I felt kind of like you and I have talked a lot about like, you know, we're kind of out of the mass media and that's okay, but it'd be nice to be acknowledged. You know, it'd be nice.

1:02:22And what I realized in the experience with Oprah, and I'm going to share this because I think it might help you. If you're at a point where you've been working really hard and you feel invisible or you're working very hard to make changes and nothing sticking, or you have realized you're in the wrong friend group and you've been working hard to make new friends or you've been working on your own self-improvement and you're not seeing the positive impact in your family yet. What I realized is that if things aren't happening for you when you want them to happen, it's for one reason, it's not meant to happen yet.

1:03:03You're not supposed to be in that friend group yet. You're not supposed to have the success yet. This isn't supposed to be easy right now. It is not time for you to meet that person or have that article written or make the million dollars or whatever it is. And the reason why is twofold. Number one, there are important lessons that you need to learn based on where you are right now. And you are going to stay where you are right now until you actually get the lesson that's meant for you. And when you embrace that, it helps you with patience. And the second reason why it hasn't happened yet is I truly believe that there is something much bigger or cooler or more special or more magical or more creative that is in store for you.

1:03:52And that you are being held in this place because you are training for something bigger and you have to trust that. and I offer that because learning to say let them let them not reply let them not buy this version of my product let them not include me in that friend group let them not see the incredible work that I'm doing and recognizing it it allows you to release the control that you don't have but then let me remind myself that I know who I am and if I just keep waking up every day and I keep chipping away at this thing, and if I stay true to my values and proud of myself, and I'm a kind person to other people, my life is taking me somewhere extraordinary, and I'm going to trust in that and keep going.

1:04:46This is so good. I saw this post the other day, and I just want to share this while we close out, but it was Simon Sinek, and he was talking about how true friends, you often hear like, who would you call at 2 a.m., or who do you go to when you need help or you're in a tough spot. And he said, I'd argue that the true friends are the ones that you go to first that you know will celebrate with you. And I think that so many women crave that and they don't have that. And I'm just like, so grateful. Oh, I could cry. So grateful that you are that for me and for so many other people. But thank you for that.

1:05:22And thank you for the work you do. And thank you for just the invitations you offer because it's life-changing for me and for everybody else. We're so lucky. We're so lucky to have you. I appreciate that. And again, Jenna, you're an easy person to celebrate and you also give so freely. And I do feel we've talked a lot about energy. What's so important about the conversation today is that you have no idea how much power you have. Like all it takes is one person in a family to change the entire dynamic and that person's you. All it takes is one person to create unprecedented wealth in your family and that person is you.

1:06:04And learning how to be generous in spirit, learning how to celebrate other people and letting them win and letting them know how much you care. You better get Get ready because there's an avalanche of goodness that comes back to you when you shift the way you use your power and when you start pouring your time and energy not only into things that are positive, but also you start using it in a way that works with the laws of human nature. Because all of us want to feel accepted and seen and loved and celebrated. And when you let people be who they are and who they're not, you actually give them the freedom to be themselves.

1:06:49and they're going to feel more connected to you, and they're going to trust you more. And the breezier you are, I find, kind of with the let them think negative thoughts, let them be disappointed, you know, let them succeed, and let me learn. The more you have that, the more flexible you are, and the more abundant things get. And, you know, I wish I had known this at your age. Like, I think it's so cool, Jenna, that you're literally in your 30s, you're 20 years younger than me and you're already figuring this out. And that means your daughters are starting to figure this out at six and four, whereas my daughters are 25 and 23 and sorting through it.

1:07:32And so the ripple effect of everything that you're doing in the world and the work that you're doing to improve yourself and to just shift your energy, it changes everything. That's how powerful you are. I love you, Jenna. I love you too. Where can everybody get your new book, learn more, listen to the show? I'm sad to say, I think it's sold out. Good luck getting it. Well, that's what happens when Oprah tells people to not just buy one, but buy five. So thank you, Oprah. It's literally the single, Random House said it's the single fastest selling book in terms of velocity because I think it's what the world needs right now because so much feels out of your control.

1:08:14And this is a simple reminder that no, no, no, no, no, no. The power's not out there. It's actually in here and there's so much in your control and in your power to shift things. And that's what this is all about, reminding you of who you are. And so you can find it, I think, anywhere. They're literally reprinting them as fast as they can. And it's on Audible, but you also have me right here, Richanna. And so there's nothing you need to do. You can listen to this conversation. You can share it with friends and family. You can take everything we taught you and start feeling the freedom and the peace and the power that comes from saying, let them and let me.

1:08:56And when you find the bright green cover, if you want it, you can get it. And if not, let them. Oh, Mel, I love you. I'm so excited for this book to get out into the world. And it's been so fun walking behind the scenes with you through the whole process and just watching it unfold. It just, we're birthing this baby. It's like a book baby. And I'm so excited to just expect all the good things that'll come from it. So thank you. It's the single best thing I've ever done. In fact, it's my legacy. There's no doubt it is my legacy. I've been afraid to get on airplanes because I'm I'm like, it's done.

1:09:33So now what? I love you. Let me go. Let me do this. Oh, my gosh. Anyway, I love you. There's so much more I want to talk through with Mel on this show, and I'm sure she'll be back. She has changed my life in a million ways. I first saw her speak on a stage eight years ago, and that was when I was introduced to her and to now have her as a dear friend, someone I travel the world with, someone whose family I know, someone who I'm hopping on a Zoom call with in three hours to talk about strategy. She has absolutely changed my life and I'm sure somehow she's changed yours. And I'm just so excited about this book and it getting out into the world and getting into the hands of those who need it.

1:10:21I'm so excited for the parents that can teach it to their children. I am so excited for us to let go and release the control on things that we've never been able to control and to bring that power back into ourselves so that we can use that power for energy, for good, for change, for lighting up the world in the ways that we want to see it lit up. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Gold Digger Podcast. If you know somebody who could benefit from this conversation, please take a split second and hit share. Sharing this episode far and wide is how we allow people to be the change and make the changes that we all deeply desire that allow us to be ourselves fully and wholly loved.

1:11:02And just my gratitude for Mel, it can explode out of my chest. I'm so grateful for this conversation. I'm grateful that you got to listen. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Gold Digger Podcast. Until next time, keep on digging your biggest goals. Thanks for pulling up a seat for another episode of the Gold Digger Podcast. I hope today's episode fueled you with inspiration, gave you information that you can turn into action, and realigned you with your true north in life and business. If you've enjoyed today's episode, head on over to golddiggerpodcast.com for today's show notes, discount codes for our sponsors, freebies to fuel your results and so much more.

1:11:41And if you haven't yet, make sure you're subscribed so that you never miss a future show. We'll see you next time, gold diggers.