840: Forget Traditional Goal Setting: Here’s A Better Way to Crush This Year

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2:01If you are someone who really struggles with following through, my question for you would be, are you focusing too much on the external rewards? And if you are, what would it look like for you to refocus on internal rewards? I'm Jenna Kutcher, your host of the Goal Digger podcast. I escaped the corporate world at the age of 23 with nothing more than a$300 camera from Craigslist and a dream. Now I'm running a seven figure online business that feels even better than it looks all from my house in small town, Minnesota with my family. Here we value time as our currency. We mix the woo and the work, and we are in the pursuit of building businesses that give us the freedom to live lives that we love.

2:45I've always loved turning big goals into reality, and I'm here to help you do the same. This isn't just a peek behind the curtain. Come along with me and my guests as we tear the whole curtain down. Every week we tackle practical, no-fluff marketing strategies and host honest discussions on what works and what doesn't. Join me and my expert guests for actionable insights to help you grow your dream business with confidence. Pull up a seat and get ready to be challenged, inspired, and empowered. This is the Goal Digger Podcast. Let me ask you this. How many times have you set a big audacious goal only to feel overwhelmed or like it was impossible for you to keep up with?

3:27Maybe you've just given up on goal setting altogether because it feels silly and you know you won't follow through. Now, I've been there. For many years, I set really giant goals and And I felt overwhelmed by trying to figure out even the first step towards achieving them. Or worse, I would set a goal and try to make it happen all at once. And spoiler alert, life doesn't work that way. And goal setting in that way isn't effective. I've learned that that approach, it just doesn't work, especially when life gets busy. And boy, has life gotten busy. We all know that by February, most resolutions are already out the window, right?

4:04And while we all want to make this year our best yet, it is time for a new way of doing things. We need an approach that helps us reach our goals without crushing the life out of them. So today, we're adding some fresh takes to the strategies that maybe you've tried in the past and they didn't work. And I'm also throwing in some hot takes on how to approach goal setting in a way that actually works for real life. No overwhelm, no burnout, just sustainable success that feels good and actually works. Let's dive on in. Growing a business isn't for the faint of heart. It's a whole lot of everything.

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5:19With Breeze, you're not just keeping up, you're staying ahead. And pretty soon, your business is going to have a lot to celebrate. Check out Breeze at HubSpot.com slash marketers to learn more. That's HubSpot.com slash marketers. It's that time of year again, the time of year where we talk about setting goals and maybe even resolutions. And if you're anything like me, you've maybe recognized that the way that you have done goal setting in the past might not have worked. Or if you've ever landed in December of a year and you look back at the goals and resolutions you laid out, you realize that those weren't even the right goals in the first place.

5:55So today I want to take a little bit of a different approach. I want to take us down a path that might lead us into better goal setting strategies that actually align with the lives that we're living and that actually allow us to follow through and finish the year feeling excited, proud, and aligned. So these are kind of hot takes, especially from someone running a podcast called Goal Digger, but stick with me. I think you're actually going to love this approach. So my first idea is this idea of embracing what I want to call goal relinquishment over goal setting. Let me explain how I came to this conclusion.

6:33So I am a girl who can figure out how to achieve things, and I love leveraging tools to do that. Now, I used to have smart goals for just about everything in my life. If you don't know what a SMART goal is. It's specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. I could literally rattle off that acronym in my sleep. And I think that framework is incredible. There's a lot of science that backs it up. And I used it for a very long time when I was setting goals. I would say exactly what I want the goal to be. I would measure it. I would make sure it was realistic. I'd lay out the timeline. I had it down pat.

7:10But when I became a mom, I started having to hold my goals a little looser. I had to get really clear at what I was aiming for, but I also had to understand that the path might not be as straight or timely as I desired. This was a lesson in surrender. I know I've shared this on the show before, but every year I choose a word of the year, and I remember the year I became a mom, my word was surrender. I had to surrender the old way of doing things, the rigid way of doing things, and allow more ease and more opportunity and maybe more winding roads into my approach because that was what life was offering.

7:50So here's my question for you is what if we flipped the whole conversation about goal setting and questioned whether setting specific goals is even the best path for us? Studies in psychology suggests that letting go of rigid goals and allowing for this element of spontaneity and fluidity can actually unlock deeper creativity and success. And let me tell you, I have experienced this firsthand. The more that I loosen the grip, the more that I can creatively arrive to where I want to arrive, and the better the success actually feels. And so instead of forcing yourself into this like one outcome, like maybe you have this resolution that you really, really, really want to walk into this year with, what if you could focus on the exploration of the goal?

8:38Think of goal relinquishment as allowing yourself the flexibility to follow new paths that naturally align with you as a human and your evolving desires. Why do I love this so much? I feel like I have learned that so much can change in a year, right? Like I am walking out of this last year and into this new year as an entirely different person. And there were so many things that were never on my bingo card to start out with. And I feel like if I had started this year having that smart approach goal with very rigid timelines and very measurable results, I might have missed some of the places where my path was winding that really unlocked more joy, more fulfillment, more creativity.

9:24And so what would that look like for you to leave a little bit more room for alignment and leave a little bit more room for your desires to evolve? What would that look like? Now here's a hot take. Sometimes the best way to achieve success is to release the pressure of doing it all. And let me tell you, trying to do it all at once. And instead, if we can approach it by creating space for new opportunities, that can emerge organically. Like, have you ever had something come into your life, whether it's an opportunity or a passion or a friendship, and you're like, I didn't see this coming in the best way possible.

10:03And this is why I think that we need to leave room in our visions for 2025 and visions for future years to rethink how it is that we're approaching how we're going to get there, right? Let go and go further. That's what I really believe can happen. So when I first started setting these really rigid goals in that stage of my life, everything just felt so clear cut. I could see from point A to point Z. But then when I became a mom and I had to face these actually really unpredictable days, I realized that holding my goals too tightly really left me feeling stressed. Like I would go to bed at night and I'd be disappointed if things didn't go according to plan.

10:47And it might not be children for you. It might be that you're juggling a nine to five while you're building your side hustle or you're pivoting into a whole new area or you're taking care of people in your life, whether it's your aging parents or your grandparents, whatever that looks like. And so I have learned that when I allow flexibility in how I reach the goals, when I let go of the idea that the path has to be perfect and on schedule, it actually allows me to be more creative in the pursuit, to grow and evolve as a human being, and it allows me to be awake to the success when it hits. The key here is to focus less on the how and more on the why.

11:27Why are you doing this in the first place? And then let the journey evolve. Let it unfold. Let it evolve as you go on it. And this is a shift away from the traditional all or nothing approach, which I did an entire episode about why the all or nothing thinking is holding you back. And it embraces a more adaptable and exploratory way of achieving what we are telling ourselves matters the most. So idea number one is like relinquish some of the structure around your goals and really just be open to how they're going to unfold and the timing of it all and trust in the timing. I feel like so often in life when we look back, hindsight is 20-20 and we see that everything unfolded as it should and in its own timing.

12:18And so what if we approach goal setting from that way? Having the goal and seeing it, but allowing curiosity and less structure to give us the opportunity and invitation to evolve as we are in pursuit of that goal. This podcast is brought to you by Mercury, banking that helps entrepreneurs do more with their money. Okay. I remember in the early days of my entrepreneurship journey, clients would literally mail me checks and then I would have to drive all the way to the bank to deposit them. It took me literal years to make things go digital and I am ashamed to admit I still have a filing cabinet with paper contracts because I'm way too afraid to throw them away.

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14:13Start building your sanctuary of comfort this fall with Bowl & Branch. For a limited time, get 20 % off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at bowlandbranch.com slash golddigger. That's bowlandbranch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D branch.com slash golddigger to save 20 % and unlock free shipping. Exclusions apply. Okay, the second idea that I have is to focus on the process more than the outcome. So I have a ton of friends who have written amazing books. And one thing that I had noticed before I ever wrote How Are You Really? and launched it is that a lot of people hated the process. It was excruciating.

14:57They made it sound so painful. They ended being so burnt out. It literally took up time from their families, from their businesses, from serving their clients. And I could not understand why anyone would ever want to write a book until it hit me and I wanted to write a book. But I decided when I wrote my book that I wanted to enjoy the process. Yeah, I wanted to hit the New York Times bestseller list. And yeah, it was a crazy achievement when I did. But even if I hadn't hit that list, I wanted to enjoy the process. And let me tell you, I'm one of the only people I know that loved every part of the book process from the writing to the launching to the editing.

15:39I loved all of it. It was a very joyful pursuit for me. And so this idea of focusing on the process over the outcome is something that I think we really have to embrace at a deeper level. Because here's the thing, traditional goal setting focuses just on the outcome, right? Even if we look at this smart goal idea, we want to lose 20 pounds, we want to hit a hundred thousand in revenue, but research from the power of process suggests that focusing exclusively on the end result leads to burnout and frustration. And how many of us have experienced that, right? Even last year, I did an episode of like, I am burned out.

16:16We get there whether we plan to or not. And so if we can focus on celebrating the process, this can actually help us not only enjoy life more, but enjoy the actual achievement. This isn't just like self-help, like toxic positivity. It's actually neuroscience. So dopamine, the motivation chemical is actually more active when we focus on the journey and not the destination. And how many of us want to just like enjoy our day-to-day life a little bit more. So my hot take here is what if we shift the narrative from goal completion to the ongoing process by reframing our goals as a series of successful habits rather than this, you know, mountaintop moment of the final achievement?

17:03Like what if the true win is just knowing that we're moving and we're making progress and the outcome is then the byproduct of our consistency. I just feel like so many of us have these mountaintop moments. I tell a story in my book about when I first hit six figures and I took a shower that day, washing my hair with herbal essence and thinking, I thought this would feel different. And I think that this is where that traditional goal setting really gets us wrong is because we are going after these goals and we hit them and we're like, this isn't what I thought it was going to be. You're like, is this it?

17:38And that doesn't feel good. And so if we reframe the way that we set the goals to focus on the process instead of just the outcome, I feel like not only are we going to enjoy it more, but we're going to stay in alignment on the path so that the outcome feels as good as we expect it to. Like growing up, I was always told that the goal was a finish line. Like I was a runner. I ran the 800 in track and, you know, you just got to get across the finish line, right? So much in life we're taught that. But over the years, I've realized that the end result mentality is often what really burns us out or leaves us really frustrated or unsatisfied.

18:16And so over the years, I really tried to shift my focus to the process, like enjoying every day, enjoying the work I'm about to do, celebrating every step along the way, really paying attention to like when something is on my calendar and I do not want to do it. What is that? Is there a way to get that off of my plate? And how can I not commit to that any further? And I've noticed that in the process of doing this, I get more excited. I'm more motivated. I am actually in alignment with the outcome. And this is just a game changer because it flips this traditional goal setting idea on its head.

18:50Instead of chasing the outcome, we celebrate the progress we make each day, understanding and knowing and believing and seeing that the small actions that we're making are actual wins. Focusing on the journey instead of the destination allows us to stay motivated longer and enjoy the ride and not hit the achievement in a total state of burnout because that is a place we do not want to go any longer. So again, number two, focus on the process over the outcome. And as you are setting your goals, what does that look like in your day-to-day life? And I would challenge you to ask yourself, is it worth it?

19:26Is what you need to do on a day-to-day basis to get that outcome worth it to you and in alignment with what you say matters the most? Okay. The third one is something that I have started to love. And I think if you are like me and you maybe have ADHD, you need a little help staying on task. Number three is gamifying your goals with internal rewards. Okay. So this is super nerdy, but this past year we were figuring out different ways to stay creative in the business. Because when I look at my business model over the last six years, it's been a very rinse and repeat business. And I have been able to reap so many rewards from this model, especially being a mom and getting to see that like, I'm not always having to reinvent the wheel.

20:15I get to use what I've created and make it better every single year. And so I've had to figure out how do I stay creative in the business without constantly creating. And this past year, we almost were figuring out ways to like gamify the business to just make it really exciting. And one of those projects that we took on that sounds so nerdy and boring to some of you, but maybe exciting to others, is that we started looking at like, okay, which freebies of ours are responsible for the most opt-ins, meaning the most new email subscribers. And how can we update those, make them beautiful, look at the funnels, strategize, optimize, all of these sexy words to me as a marketer.

21:01And how can we just make them better? How can we make the entire experience better from a consumer standpoint? How can we make it work better within our business? How can we have these things naturally lead to what makes the most sense. And what was so exciting is that I enjoyed this process. There would be days where I would sit down and I would rewrite a 12-page guide in one sitting. And I would sit down and I would rewrite the email sequence that would flow out when somebody new was on my email list. And I enjoyed seeing all of these little aspects line up to make some massive change in my business.

21:36It was impacting our growth. It was impacting our strategy. It was impacting all of the different pieces of it. And what was really cool about it is that I was able to see just how much we've grown. Like some of these freebies I'd created years ago and I was like, wow, like I've learned so much. I am excited to almost gamify the system and track the results and see how it all plays out. And so what do I mean by this idea of gamifying these internal rewards? We all know about external rewards, right? Like money, collapse on social media, recognition. But here's where it gets really cool. Internal rewards, like the feeling of competence or autonomy or mastery, are actually more powerful for long-term motivation.

22:23If you are someone who really struggles with following through, my question for you would be, are you focusing too much on the external rewards? And if you are, what would it look like for you to refocus on internal rewards? Research on intrinsic motivation suggests that when you tie your goals to a sense of personal growth and mastery, the pursuit becomes far more sustainable. And I don't know about you, but sustainable and predictable feels really sexy as an entrepreneur right now. And so my hot take here is like, forget about this carrot and stick approach that always leaves us chasing and striving, and that always leaves the outcome in the hands of external factors, whether it's new customers or social media engagement.

23:11And instead, gamify your goals by creating a personal reward system that is tied to your own internal satisfaction. I am talking about that feeling when you go to bed at the end of the day and you're like, dang, I just crushed it or the work I did was so impactful or meaningful, or I cannot wait to see the results of what we just achieved today. I want for you to track wins based on how much you've learned or how confident you feel or how far you've grown, not just whether you hit a specific external number or something like that, because I think that that is where our dissatisfaction is lying.

23:48And so instead of relying on external rewards, I found that the most sustainable approach to business comes from within, comes from feeling motivated and fulfilled within. And it's not our fault that we've struggled with this in the past because we've all been conditioned to chase external validation. But what if the real win was in how we feel when we master a new skill or when we achieve something on our own? Like that is the magic of internal rewards. And how this shifts things is that it shifts goal setting away from these external metrics that might motivate us temporarily, but don't always keep us going and allows us to create this lasting motivation that keeps us consistent and showing up and in the game, even if the applause dies down, even if nobody's paying attention, even if we don't have progress that looks sexy on social media.

24:40This is a really subtle, but a powerful shift from traditional goal setting. And I will say that a lot of the high achieving women in my life, I feel like are shifting to this method because they are noticing that when they are hitting these externally validated goals or these really rigid metrics, it's not feeling like it used to. It doesn't land like it did. And they want to feel more successful to themselves and more in alignment. And this is the way that we do that. When we were young, we dreamed of castles and fairy tales. And as we grow up, those dreams might shift into building something real, like starting a business.

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