851: How to Take Back Control of Your Life, Career and Future

23:44I can actually help other people. If I can teach them how to communicate better, then they'll be able to get more customers or more clients or sell their products or increase their economic stability. Then maybe I need to put aside my fears and my fear of judgment and my fear of failure and try it. So I started with the podcast and then I started creating content. I just want everyone listening to know I went through that too. And now I have a lot of confidence doing it because I have a mission. I have a story. I have a purpose. And I don't care what people think. I don't care if my hair doesn't look good or if I don't, because I believe that I'm just being me.

24:22I don't care that the dogs might be barking during the show because that's just how it is. That's life. And I think one thing I loved about COVID was you got to see these anchors who are always like perfectly coiffed and polished, like in the kitchen with the cat running through. And, you know, that's just, it made us connect with them. It made us, you know, relate to them in ways that I felt was very authentic. And I feel like that's what people want. People want to see me with my hair in a ponytail, you know, taking the dogs out. Like, I feel like that's who I am. Plus I'm also a leader who advises some of the biggest names in the world on how to build their brands.

24:59Like, I feel like that's what people need to not be waiting for. I went through it myself and that's why I share that story so that you say, Hey, I'm going to take one step this week. Yes. You know, it's so interesting because I think so many people wait. And I think what's a shame is that women are often waiting for things to look a certain way and not to be a certain way or feel a certain way. and so it's so interesting to me because it's like are we really that focused on what something looks like and I would argue exactly what you were just saying of like how it almost leveled the playing field of like oh my gosh everyone has cat food in their house if they have a cat or their children are running around with their pajamas still on yeah and I feel like that is the most authentic yeah and it's like oh if they can do it this actually makes it feel way more attainable than seeing that perfect polished version.

25:56Yeah. So it's just so interesting because I think a lot of times we wait on things to look a certain way when really, if we just focused on how we want people to feel, it would change how we show up and like what we think about the things that we're most worried about. Yeah. And I also think too, like if for women, sometimes that imposter syndrome sinks in of like, I don't think I should be doing it. I I don't think I'm good enough. Other people would just full throttle go out and do it and not think twice about it. And I just feel like, if not you, who? And if not now, when? I really believe you can spend your life waiting for opportunities and sit on the sidelines, but we are only on this planet once.

26:36We only get one life. We only get one shot at this. And I always think about not wanting to have regret of like, oh, I wish I would have tried that. I wish I would have, like I had the nerve to do that. And I think that's why people get in waiting mode is they're like, I always think of the opposite. Like, oh, I don't want to have regret that I never tried it. I always wanted to do this. I always wanted, well, then why aren't I doing it? If it's something I really care about, why am I actually not doing it? Is it because I don't have the means or I just don't have, I don't trust my gut and my intuition.

27:06Cause once I do, I actually know what I'm doing and I can get that confidence. And the biggest thing that lets a lot of people not take action is they don't have confidence. Well, the only way to get that confidence is to take that action. Yep. Yep. Amen. That's what I, I mean, that's what I learned. I was like, Oh, I'm not going to do it. I'm going to wait until everything's perfect. Nothing's ever perfect. No. And you know what? No dude is waiting for themselves to lose 10 pounds or to have no wrinkles or to have like, I often think about like no shame. Cause I love my male peers and there are some good ones out there.

27:43But like, I often think about like what women are juggling on top of careers. And also that like, no dudes are worried about this stuff. And so it's like, if we can unpack the patriarchy a little bit and just show up a little bit more, I feel like we will all benefit from it. And I feel like when we really unpack some of it, maybe this is going too deep. But I just think that a lot of these messages that we've been fed are to keep us quiet. And so it's like, man, maybe just ask yourself, is a dude concerned about this? If the answer is no, let's go for it, ladies. Let's go. Yeah. Just stop waiting for the perfect moment.

28:25You know, take one step forward, no matter how small, because you get that trust from making progress, like just like getting your feet under the ground and knowing like, if I just show up and do the work, that's, that's showing up and doing the work and momentum usually that you're looking for is on the other side of action. I'm like, okay, I just need to try like the treadmill, like, okay, I'm going to just do it once and then I'll do it twice. And then you start to develop that habit of like, I don't need to wait for a reminder. I know what this is good for me. I should, I should try to just be consistent about it.

28:56Yeah. One thing I often think about too, Maha is like, like people should Google early videos or things from people they admire and go and see those like early awkward. I was re-listening to one of the first episodes of my podcast. I sounded like a California Valley girl. I don't know where that voice came from, but I showed up. And I think sometimes we're so used to seeing where people are at now that we forget where they started. And so it's just such a reminder, which brings me to my next question, which is something I love that you talk about, which is just, you are a huge advocate for reinvention and staying adaptable.

29:35And I think a lot of times when people think about the topic of branding or building a personal brand, it can almost feel like they're putting themselves into a box and you kind of approach this in a very different way. So let's talk about this idea of like having the ability to change and that you're not just one person or one thing. Yeah. I mean, you think about it, you upgrade your phone every year. Why won't you want to upgrade yourself every year? Right. I'm 55 years old. I could quit my job today and start a completely different career because I have access to the internet. Yeah. I can learn things for free.

30:10Podcasts are for free. YouTube is for free. And so I always feel like retirement, I just did a post about this, like retirement doesn't mean that you are, your life is over. That's actually when you have experience and you have knowledge and you have relationships and you may have a bank account. Like now you have time. Now you have the time to start focusing on your passions, your purpose, taking all that experience. So I always talk about this reinvention because you have access to learn new things and you should be, you know, learning all the time, new things that are, are happening in the world and what you can take advantage of or things that you're curious about.

30:46Like I missed a class making these cozy, chunky blankets. My sister and I were going to go do this and I missed it. And I was so mad and because I had a conflict and then I really wanted to learn something new. Like I'm like, I need to learn new things, whether it's taking online classes or podcasts or learning to do something with my hands. Cause I want to stay adaptable. I want to know like how to be agile and learning new things that I would like, Oh, I don't think I can do that. I don't say that anymore. Like I always think about the way that you can stay adaptable is, is, is by being around people who you are inspired by, or that you can learn from.

31:23You don't necessarily need to learn from books and podcasts and YouTube videos. You can learn from people. And that's also for free. Yes. And I always think about like, we have to redefine what we think of our stages in our lives. Like we may love our jobs and be there every day, full heartedly love it, but we also have nights and weekends that are we spending every night watching TV shows or could we spend one night learning something new, playing pickleball or learning how to play a keyboard or reading a really good book that you just want to immerse yourself in. And I feel like that's the key to staying competitive in today's market is you got to be adaptable.

31:58You have to be agile and we don't just compete. I don't just compete or my colleagues don't compete with people in Minnesota because people have access to internet. I have competition from different markets, different people, talent is remote and is hybrid. So you really need to figure out how to stay unstuck and how to stay relevant. And by the way, it's the most exciting time we've ever had to be alive. Let's talk about it. I think people are terrified. No, I feel like we can see how do the best athletes do their morning routines or how do CEOs do it? And like, what's one thing I might want to adopt?

32:33Like we are going to live longer, Jenna, because we have access to technology and, you know, everyone's cold plunging and sunning and, and thinking about their, you know, protein and their supplements and sleep and how much that plays a role in your life and your happiness and your longevity. So that access to information helps us reinvent ourselves. Like I don't think about retirement. I'm 55. I don't think like back in the day, like 55, you're retiring, you're done. You're washed up. Like you're going to start playing golf or go to a retirement home. That's like 55. Like we're just getting started.

33:05Start a baby. Well, I really believe that. And so when people, people think about not adapting, I'm like, you totally can make that pivot. You have relationships and you can start a startup. You can decide to go from corporate to entrepreneurship. Or if you're an entrepreneur and you decide, I want to take a job at Delta. Cause I want to start like, you know, traveling for my life. Like a lot of people do that too. Yeah. I love it. My parents are like crushing retirement it is so fun to watch like my dad got like an industrial sewing machine to learn how to sew upholstery for his hot rod and I was like this is just amazing like I can't even keep up with what they're doing because it's so many things my mom is a wish grantor for the make a foundation like just so many cool things where like I've seen versions of retirement where it's like all of a sudden you just sit on the couch every day and watch the news all day every day and feed the birds, or you can go out and do amazing things.

34:07And so I love that. And I am obviously a huge fan of reinvention. I feel like myself and my brand has lived through many iterations over the years. You're a photographer, you've done things like reinvention kind of starts with learning. I really believe that you can just learn anything, anytime. And I know for so many people listening, like change is hard, but being stuck is harder. Agreed. Choose your hard. Choose your hard. I couldn't agree more. You talk about self-reliance a lot. Talk to me about what that means to you. How has it shaped your career in life? I'm like, where does that come from?

34:46Yeah. So the term self-reliance was something that I started to think about when I looked at my career over time, like what's the thing that was consistent in my DNA? It's like I had to rely on myself. And when I say that term, a lot of people are like self-reliance means I don't need anybody. I can do it better on my own. Like I'm just going to rely on myself because I know all, or I'm the best person to get something done. I have a very different definition of self-reliance. Self-reliance to me is what can you do to bet on yourself, to show up on for yourself before you start reaching out to other people?

35:17So for example, I want to rely on myself to have a really good network of relationships. I'm not going to say, Hey Jenna, I really need something for my business. Can I rely on those relationships that you spent a lifetime developing and learning? Can I just borrow those? I want to rely on myself to know how to network, to know how to build relationships, to know how to have people in my life that are part of my life because I've invested in them. I want to be self-reliant when it comes to building my reputation. I should own my reputation. It's not just something I have. I need to be intentional about it and invest in it and grow it and be kind to people and be consistent in how I show up.

35:55So those are the kinds of things when I talk about self-reliance, I mean, creating value for other people. Now, Jenna, you've met me, you're stuck with me, because I'm going to find ways to bring value to you, whether you want it or not. Because I believe that if I can create value for other people, I can rely on myself for my income, for my growth, for my happiness, for my longevity. I don't need to wait for other people to bestow it upon me. And that's what I mean when I say self-reliant learning. I don't have to wait for my manager to teach me things. Don't I have access to the Internet? Can I learn how to use AI tools?

36:30So a lot of people who work in companies are waiting for their managers to give them a project. Well, maybe I should anticipate needs or maybe I should try to solve a problem. I can rely on myself to drive my career instead of hoping someone will give me those opportunities. Sometimes, you know, squeaky wheel gets the grease. You need to knock on that door. And so I spend a lot of time just trying to help people inspire them. But like, you have so much power, you haven't even untapped it yet. So if you knew the rules or the ways to do that and to think about how powerful you can be a driver's seat in your life instead of waiting for people to give it to you, that's my definition of self-reliance is just like owning your future by really betting on yourself.

37:16And if not you, like who, like, I really believe that. Like so many times in my life, I was stuck in a situation, stuck in a jobs, asked to do something. I'd never done it before. And I had to rely on myself to figure it out. And if I can do it coming from nothing with no money, with no resources, no family business, I don't have any of those things. I really had to like learn it on my own. I feel like a lot of people can too. Both my mom and my dad were severely handicapped. My mom had MS since I was 14 years old and my dad had ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease. And it was a time where I was trying to build my name and my career and figure out who I was.

37:54And I had to be a full-time caretaker for both of my parents for most of my life. They both passed away a year apart. And that's what I was like, okay, I have to really rely on myself to figure out my purpose in life. Am I going to be a caretaker or am I going to be Maha? And I decided that I can be both, but I really need to figure out how I'm going to rely on myself to build that story and that narrative and my life, the way that I feel good about living it in a way that I have no regrets. I'm sure they're incredibly proud of you or they would be. You know, I only share stuff I'm genuinely obsessed with.

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39:45We've had so many repeat guests come back and we've created this incredible community, not just with our guests, but also with the people who help us care for our space. Whether you've bought properties as an investment or have unused rooms waiting to be shared, hosting on Airbnb is a practical and profitable choice. And just think about it. If you've put a ton of time, effort and work into your home, someone out there probably would love to experience it while they're traveling. So next time you're planning a trip or want to make some extra income from your spaces, you should definitely host on Airbnb.

40:17Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com slash host. I love that tape on self-reliance because I think sometimes we could look at it coming from like a point of pride, like you said, like where it's like, yeah, of course I can do everything. That's like what most of us are trying to do. But I think it's that ownership piece that a lot of people are missing. Right. And so it's like, yeah, if you were to reverse engineer so many careers, it's the people who just were audacious enough and curious enough to figure it out. Right. I love that. curiosity piece. That's so key.

40:54Yes. And I mean, honestly, this ties into to like the reinvention is like, I feel like staying curious in your life and in your business is the only way to survive and to enjoy the ride. And like, for me last year, I often joked that like last year was my year of joy where it was like, my business was the least interesting thing about me. I was so excited about all these hobbies and try new things, join the local rowing team, learn sourdough, you know, And all of these different things, but like all of that richness seeps into your work. It seeps into your brand. It seeps into everything. And so I think a lot of times we underestimate too, how we can stay curious in our lives.

41:35And we don't necessarily connect the dots because so many of us are so efficiency wired and like output wired that we forget. Yeah. The process, you know, sometimes, and I talk about this Jenna too, like doing nothing takes effort. Yes. Rest is hard. Rest and recovery are essential in life. And that's why if you're always working, if you're always thinking, you're not giving your brain time to bring in new ideas or new reflections and planning. And that's why I schedule my time that way so that I can do that. Imagine, I think the entitlement of some of the people in the workforce, like I'm entitled to these things or the need to always be productive and always on and doom scrolling and doing all that's so bad for you.

42:20Like just because everyone else does, it doesn't mean that it's right for you. Yes. Yes. What would you say to somebody who's listening? Either they're starting a personal brand in 2025, or maybe they're reinventing their current brand. What's the advice that you would give them? Well, one, I think they should do it. First of all, you know, your personal brand is not about your personal life. It's about reputation. So I feel like I really want everyone to listen to this, like think about your reputation and how you want to show up and take that first step. So one, I would encourage them to highly do it.

42:53And two, think about what it is that you care about a lot that you're very passionate about that comes easy for you. Like you can have your full-time job as working in finance, but like you really love yoga or you really love cooking. And if that's something you want to be doing more of, do that because what fills our cups makes us happier can outspill in other areas in our lives in ways that we don't think is going to be rewarding. And it is. And so I feel like a lot of people who aren't thinking about their personal brand need to be competitive work environment, evolving marketplace, presence of AI, presence of cancel culture.

43:29You need to protect your reputation. I am not saying be a social media influencer. I'm not saying be a creator. I'm saying, look at your LinkedIn profile. Make sure it's what you want people to look up when they see you. Make sure you're being intentional about what you're posting, what you're sharing, because employers, partners, opportunities for work will look at all of those things. And the biggest thing I think that will help you build a strong personal brand is your relationships. So the more relationships you can create, the more you're going to have a better reputation because you're building your brand with other people.

44:02And the more relationships you have, the more money you can make. And I just, it's a wheel. I love that. What's your tip? Like I can already hear my listener being like, I'm so introverted or I don't even know where to meet people or like, how do I even start a conversation with people? I feel like we are a socially anxious generation that needs help. So where do we begin with that? Yeah. So for introverts, like I always talk about, like, if you're going to go to an event and you're introverted, take somebody with you, right? So that you have somebody to go have a cup of coffee with or go talk to someone and come back to, or someone to sit with at lunch.

44:39A buddy system is effective. Do you think about creating relationships in your speed? For example, I would never have an introverted person try to conduct one-to-one meetings or meet a lot of people at a big event. If there's one or two people that you are interested in connecting with, can we have a cup of coffee in a quiet space? Or maybe we can go for a walk. Put it in an environment that works for you. Don't feel the need to collect a lot of business cards and meet a lot of people and conduct business there. I always think about conversation starters. I give tips on what are the conversation starters you should use because that alleviates a lot of anxiety that you have when you're trying to meet somebody.

45:18So if you're at an event, what is it that brought you to this event or what are you excited about doing? Like there's a whole list of them I can share with you to share with your listeners, but try to plan in advance so you don't leave the anxious part of like trying to come up with how do I introduce myself or how do I explain who I am? Do that kind of thinking in advance. I always think for introverts, because a lot of people in this world are introverted, like don't try to think about the next step. Think of the first step. Right. Because a lot of people are like, well, I'm going to meet somebody and I need to network with them.

45:53And then what do I do? Yeah. So don't do that because like you're overthinking, you know, what that process is. Oh my gosh. I love this. I'm like trying to raise my kids to like know their voice and be comfortable starting conversations. And so like we go out for Saturday brunch every Saturday and I'll like have them ask the waiter or waitress like a fun question or just like something like last weekend we We were talking about how weird is cool and how it's cool to be weird. And so then we asked our waiter, well, what makes you weird? And he was like, oh, he just was telling us about the cartoons he watches and all these video games he loves.

46:31And, you know, it's just interesting, too, because I feel like we have a responsibility, especially with this next generation, to, like, raise kids that can talk in this world that is so digital and digitized. I think that we've lost the beauty of real relationships and being in community. And so I love that your ethos really is based in relationships. And one thing I think too, and I can sense it with you is like, go deep, not wide, right? Like we can't have a million connections that we can keep up with and know their kids' names and ages and what's going on in their life. But like, I have just found so much richness and beauty in like the depth.

47:12And so I think especially too, for introverts, it's like, if you meet one person that you connect with, that's a huge win. And I think our world is so obsessed with like going wide when really we should focus on going deep. Yeah. Even when you think about like your new year's resolutions and goals. And I always talk about like working on relationships, pick five people you want to meet this year, cultivate a real meaningful relationship with them in person, remotely, you know, showing up for them. Like don't make a big list. People don't have time to like network and build their personal brands and create content and take care of their families and meet their obligations.

47:45It's just a lot. I mean, everyone has big lives, right? But it's about being intentional. I'm going to pick a couple of people I really wanted to meet or invest my relationship with, or someone I met last year that I want to take the next level with, or I want to connect them to somebody else. That's how you should be approaching it. I feel like we know hit and run relationships when we see them, and we don't want to be a part of that. We don't want to be a part of having to accumulate a lot of business cards and then figure out what do I do with all these people that I met? Which ones are really meaningful for me or my life or my business or which ones could I really bring value to or are going to have a long-term impact?

48:19And I feel like thinking about it, being intentional about it is really, really important. What is one piece of advice that you want to give our listener today as they're navigating this? I feel like you have so much wisdom. You have experienced so much in your career, both as the center stage gal and the behind the scenes person. Behind the scenes, most of my life. Yes. And so like, what is just something you want everyone to know and walk away with? I think about, I'm going to leave them one thing. Think about learning versus earning, right? When you are in your life and you see an opportunity, is this an opportunity for you to learn something or earn something?

49:00Sometimes you need to make a decision based on financials because it's going to give you a nice way to earn. But I always look at if this is going to give me a chance to learn, to grow, to meet new people, to learn about a new industry, to challenge myself, I'm definitely picking learning over earning. That is so good. Oh, my God. I just feel like if people look at things on that context, like learning is a short term, maybe gain, but might have a very long term implication. And I think about learning versus earning. What opportunities are you looking at today or considering tomorrow and putting in that lens and then ask yourself, is that a learning opportunity or an earning opportunity?

49:40opportunity. When we're young, we should be in learning mode. When we're older, we might want to be in earning mode, but you got to learn if you're switching careers or switching, you're thinking about contemplating something new. I would take it the opportunity if it's going to give me a chance. Even I do it at my age. If it's giving me a chance to learn, I'm going to work for free for a client because I want to get into that industry. I want to build relationships. There's a reason why I'm picking that choice and it's because I value learning over earning. Oh, and people don't realize that knowledge compounds.

50:13Like when you learn something once, you can reap the rewards of utilizing that knowledge, putting it to work for the end of time. And so I, nobody has ever said that before in that way. And I feel like Maha, that was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard on this podcast is just for people to reposition that. And I think we are so hyper-focused on earning. And I think that there is so much value waiting for you and compounding value in learning. Oh my gosh, I'm obsessed. So good. Okay. You just had a book come out. Tell us a little bit about your book and where we can get it. The book is called The Seven Rules of Self-Reliance, which we talked a little bit about where self-reliance.

50:56It's available everywhere. It's on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, booksellers everywhere. And it's a great book for people to read who are thinking about how can I bet on myself? How do I create value? How do I not be a waiter? How do I become a lifelong learner? How do I build the best relationships and be a long-term player? How do I build my personal brand? It's the biggest chapter in the book for a reason, because you have to think about online and offline, like what you should do on social versus what you should be doing in real life. And guess what? What matters? What you do in real life is really what matters.

51:27And then how to live with no regrets, like what your circumstances that happened to you don't define you. I talk a lot about my personal story with my parents in that chapter and then stay low, keep moving. It's my mantra for life. It's been my mantra for like, I don't know, 30 years. You have to stay low, not low profile, like just stay focused on what you care about. So if you're always living in whatever people distracting you or people who are trying to take you away from things that you care about, not either doubting you or the distractions of everyday life, you're never going to achieve what you care about.

51:58And I really want people to think about how do you stay low, focused on what you care about? How do you keep moving? You're going to have setbacks. You're going to have bad days. You're going to have economic downturns. You're going to lose clients. You're going to lose friends. Life is messy. So how do you stay low and keep moving? And where can everybody connect with you? Instagram, my name, my handle, and on LinkedIn. And I have a weekly newsletter and I give a lot of comms tips for free and do a lot of free coaching. So. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for coming on this show. It was amazing.

52:29So many good nuggets of wisdom. Just thank you for showing up and sharing today. When Maha dropped that nugget of, are you learning or are you earning? I literally had to hold myself back from shouting, amen. I have never heard it put in that way. And I think that that is one of the most powerful pieces of advice that we've ever had on this show. I think so often we're so focused on the earning piece that we forget the power of learning and we forget to see how that learning can impact our trajectory, our growth, and our future. I absolutely loved having Maha on the Gold Digger podcast. I'm sure you loved her too.

53:08If you know someone who can benefit from this show, just take a quick minute and share this episode with them. It would mean the absolute world to me. And thank you so much for tuning in to the Gold Digger podcast. Of course, until next time, keep on digging your biggest goals. Thanks for pulling up a seat for another episode of the Gold Digger Podcast. I hope today's episode fueled you with inspiration, gave you information that you can turn into action and realigned you with your true north in life and business. If you've enjoyed today's episode, head on over to golddiggerpodcast.com for today's show notes, discount codes for our sponsors, freebies to fuel your results, and so much more.

53:46And if you haven't yet, make sure you're subscribed so that you never miss a future show. We'll see you next time, Gold Diggers.