888: ADHD Built My Business (But It Also Broke Some Things)

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2:01Having things just very visual for me, whether it's a checklist or a printed plan or a workbook, my brain often needs to see the work in order to want to engage with it. And so inviting these sorts of tools into my life has been super, super helpful. I'm Jenna Kutcher. your host of the Goal Digger podcast. I escaped the corporate world at the age of 23 with nothing more than a$300 camera from Craigslist and a dream. Now I'm running a seven-figure online business that feels even better than it looks, all from my house in small town Minnesota with my family. Here, we value time as our currency. We mix the woo and the work, and we are in the pursuit of building businesses that give us the freedom to live lives that we love.

2:47I've always loved turning big goals into reality, and I'm here to help you do the same. This isn't just a peek behind the curtain. Come along with me and my guests as we tear the whole curtain down. Every week we tackle practical, no-fluff marketing strategies and host honest discussions on what works and what doesn't. Join me and my expert guests for actionable insights to help you grow your dream business with confidence. Pull up a seat and get ready to be challenged, inspired, and empowered. This is the Gold Digger Podcast. You know that feeling when you either say something or you post something and you immediately realize that you have just struck a nerve?

3:28Well, that's what happened with a carousel I shared on Instagram recently. It was called 10 Normal Things I Didn't Know Were ADHD and the post kind of blew up. Not because it was super shocking or really controversial, but because it was painfully relatable. Thousands of people were sharing the post, hundreds of comments from women saying, wait, I do all of these, or I've never felt so seen, or Jenna, are you living in my brain? And honestly, same. That post wasn't written from research or theory. It was my lived experience. In this episode, I am sharing the full backstory behind that post, how I accidentally discovered that I had ADHD at the age of 34 and how it shaped every part of my life from business to motherhood to how I function on a random Tuesday afternoon.

4:16We're going to talk about the signs that I missed for years, where ADHD helped me build my business, where it quietly made things way harder, what I've done to try and support my brain since getting diagnosed and what I wish more women knew. This is part story, part strategy, and part love letter to every woman who thought she was just bad at life. Let's rewind to that post and why it mattered so much. Okay, so I'm going to guess that you missed my post because that's the nature of social media. So here's kind of a quick recap. So I created this carousel and it was titled 10 normal things I didn't know were ADHD.

4:54And then I said they felt like quirks or flaws and turns out they were clues. Then I listed things like sitting in my parked car in the garage after getting home because transitions feel overwhelming or eating the same meal obsessively for weeks and then never wanting to touch it again, or needing background noise to focus, but then also getting super overstimulated by it, repeating the same song on a loop for days because I just love knowing what's coming up next. It calms my nervous system. Or talking about the chair in my closet that's become this mountain of clean clothes that I just simply can't deal with or put back.

5:29Each one of these normal things sparked this wave of recognition. And again, I got all these messages. Like people were saying like, I thought I was just lazy or I've been masking this for years or I had no idea that was a thing. And let me just say this post was not meant to be diagnostic. It was meant to be a mirror. And for a lot of women, including me, it reflected something that we've never been able to name. Now, really quick, as I list out those things, I also just want to say these can also be symptoms of other things like a dysregulated nervous system or a very busy life. And so I just want to call out and acknowledge that ADHD shows up differently for everyone, but there are specific things that can be linked to true issues that ADHD can exasperate.

6:15And so it's not just like the funny, like, Oh yeah, I eat the same breakfast every day. It's actually tied to specific traits that people that are neurodivergent have. So again, this is not meant to be diagnostic. I just simply want to share my experience because it has been so life-changing for me. So here's kind of the funny story. So I once invited this ADHD expert. Her name is Tracy Otsuka, and she came onto my podcast. And I'm going to link up her episodes because I also had her come back on the show after this. And I just wanted her to come on the show. She sent in a pitch to the podcast.

6:48I thought it was fascinating. I didn't know much about ADHD, and I was like, this is awesome content. So I had Tracy on the show. We're doing the whole interview. I'm doing it through the lens of just somebody who's curious and wants to learn more. And as soon as the interview ends, she asked me, she goes, so when were you diagnosed? And I was like, wait, what? I haven't been. I've never been diagnosed. After we stopped recording, she gently said, Jenna, I have listened to your show for a while. And a lot of the systems you've created in order to be productive are actually adaptations for ADHD.

7:22And she said, I am not going to diagnose you, but I genuinely think you should check out and maybe get diagnosed yourself. Basically, this started a spiral in my life. I was Googling like crazy. I basically had this quiet unraveling that was actually becoming. And within a few months, I had a formal ADHD diagnosis at the age of 34. warm. Now, this was so enlightening to me because I had never even considered that I had it. But what was so interesting is after that interview with Tracy and after that conversation, I started talking to my family members. And I remember, I can literally remember where I was sitting.

8:04I brought it up to my mom and I was like, you know, I had this expert on and we were talking and then like a lot of the things she said made a lot of sense and all this stuff. And my dad from across the room goes, oh yeah, I definitely had ADD as a kid and I still have it as an adult. And I was like, wait, what? Come again? We've never talked about this in my family. And then my sister was like, yeah, this actually really resonates for me as well. And it was just funny because it was something that my dad was like, this is painfully obvious for him, but it was never something that was brought up and really never something that was pinpointed in us as kids.

8:41And looking back now, I can see like it was all there. Like I was somebody who was a high achiever. I've always been that way, but I had to work super hard. Like I had to fight for my achievements. I remember my brother, such a smart person, just brilliant. He's so smart. I don't ever remember a day in his life that he studied. Like I cannot picture him sitting at the kitchen table with a book open. Things seemed to come easily for him where I was somebody who was cramming and anxious about tests. To this day, one of my greatest challenges, I would say, is that I cannot trust my brain to hold on to information.

9:21Even since I was a kid, I had a lot of test anxiety. I would write things on sticky notes. I'd write things on my hands. I would write things everywhere because I had a lot of fear that I was going to forget things that were important. And I still have that today. Like I will drive my team crazy because I'll have this random thought. And alongside of that thought is this fear that I'm going to forget this thought. And I just need to put this thought somewhere so that I know someone can keep it safe for me. And so like, that is kind of how it was. When I was a student, I would cram, just cram for exams.

9:53And then I would literally feel as I walked out of that classroom after the exam that I was just letting go of all the information. I can honestly feel like a visceral feeling of all the information just exiting my brain. Like it is gone. It is done. I am somebody I cannot sit regular in chairs, like sitting with my feet on the ground feels like punishment. I am a fidgeter. I change positions often. Like I remember if I ever had to sit in the front of the classroom and I couldn't put my feet up on the basket on the desk in front of me, it was like the worst. Like I didn't know what I was going to do.

10:28Even when I'm in a car, I sit with one leg up. I just am constantly regulating with my body. At restaurants, I put my feet up. I can't sit at high tops. It's just a thing. I am also somebody who I have a million ideas, a million thoughts. It's all very overwhelming. I have no idea where to start. And I have really, really, really over the last few years since getting diagnosed, I have learned and trained myself on like how to rest. Like it is really hard for me. Rest takes just as much work as doing the work. And so in my brain, I'm like, I might as well get stuff done. And so I have had to learn a lot of these things, but now looking back, I'm like, yeah, there are a lot of signals that I was maybe struggling with this and I either masked it well, or it just presented itself in a confusing way.

11:17And honestly, back then, people weren't really looking out for this, especially with kids that were doing all right. And what's interesting is that as a kid, I felt really sensitive. And I can see this in one of my children. She is just a deep feeler. I was a deep feeler. And as a kid, I just thought, I'm just too sensitive. As a woman, I just thought, I'm bad at balance. But it turns out that the undercurrent under all of this is just a brain that works differently. And I didn't know that. I didn't know what I didn't know. And so it's been a really interesting journey. I would highly recommend if you are someone who suspects that you might have ADHD or you might be neurodivergent.

11:58For me, there's something in a diagnosis that just validates you. Like it just makes you feel like you're not crazy. And for me, it has been incredibly helpful to just learn different tendencies and habits and things that maybe trip me up or that I maybe hated about myself for years and see like where this is coming from and also learn tools and strategies to try to affect it in a positive way. And so naturally getting diagnosed has really allowed me to kind of reflect and like look back and be like, all right, where did this like totally help me and where did this make things way harder. And so this is where I think things can get interesting.

12:43And here's maybe a plot twist. Like ADHD didn't just make life harder. It helped me build the life I have now. And I think I'd be remiss to only acknowledge the parts where it's challenging because it is challenging. But I think it's really powerful to look at all the beautiful ways that it's made me me. It's helped me to show up in this way. It's allowed me to build this business. You know, I am someone, I'm just naturally multi-passionate. I have done a million things. It was funny. The other day I was talking to someone and she kind of knew what I was doing at this stage of my career. But as we were talking, all of these different things that I've done in the past came up.

13:20And she was like trying to connect all the dots from, you know, like wedding photographer to watercolor artist, to podcasting courses, like writing a book, like all these different things. And it was honestly kind of funny. Like I have built a very multifaceted brand and my brand has just naturally evolved as I've evolved as my passions have evolved over time, which is honestly such a blessing. And so being multi-passionate, having just like countless ideas, millions of ideas, a bajillion things I feel like I could do, like I could never be bored. And I think that that That is a huge blessing.

13:54I also think that my ADHD has really just helped me be super creative to see different possibilities, to do things in a different way. I have been very intuitive throughout my entire life. And so I feel like my brain is like constantly connecting dots and like looking for similarities and trying to really honor and follow like what I'm feeling and where I think I need to go next. I am somebody who thrives when it gets into a very specific thing. Like when I am launching something, like hyper focus is my superpower. When I find something that I am excited about, it is the exact opposite of taking exams and cramming for exams as a child.

14:38It is like I can't consume enough. Like right now I am nerding out over welcome sequences for email list. Yes. These are the things I nerd out about. And I am so hyper-focused and excited and energized about this one specific thing that I am like diving deep and I'm doing research and I'm doing all these different things. And so ADHD can give you this like ability to hyper-focus in on something that you get excited about. And maybe if you have ADHD, you've noticed like all of a sudden you're going all in on this one thing. Like, you know, for me, I've done a million things, but like You might have noticed all of a sudden I'm all in on sourdough and then I'm all in on gardening.

15:20And I do all these things and I still do all these things in my real life. So I didn't lose the steam on them. But I get so into it where I'm like, I want to know everything about it. I want to do it. I want to experience it. Hyperfocus. Yes. Amen to this. I also think my ADHD has helped me to take risks and trust my gut. It's helped me to build a business before there was like a specific blueprint for what I wanted to do. And even to this day, I feel it in my soul as I'm looking ahead of like, what do I want to do next? And what do I want this next version in this next evolution to be? I feel like I have been able to take risks and I've been able to just trust my instincts and follow through and see creatively areas where I'm like, yeah, I can do that.

16:05I can step into that. Maybe before I'm ready, I'm going to try this. And so my brain, it's very scrappy. It's very solution oriented. And I will argue it is wildly resourceful. Like I feel like I learned from my parents early on, like where you lack resources, you can be resourceful. And I think that I have been able to do all of these things and so much more, many parts in thanks to my ADHD. This podcast is brought to you by Mercury, banking that helps entrepreneurs do more with their money. Okay. I remember in the early days of my entrepreneurship journey, clients would literally mail me checks and then I would have to drive all the way to the bank to deposit them.

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18:51So I am someone who I get so excited. I cannot wait to start something. I am like all in ideating. I move fast and I get annoyed when people don't move as fast as I do. But I also can struggle to follow through and finish things that I start. I saw this growing up with my dad. My dad is the handiest person I have literally ever met. I took for granted as a child that like my dad can fix anything. Like literally if it's something in the house, he can fix it. If it's a car engine, he can fix it. If it's the lawnmower, like my dad is like a Swiss army knife, but he was so good because he would get so obsessed and excited about a project.

19:31And then sometimes he would struggle in finishing it up, right? Like we renovated our downstairs bathroom and he did everything. I mean, it was absolutely insane, but then like the trim never fully got finished or the paint didn't totally get done. And so I am someone like that where like I get really excited and I have learned to hire people that can help me finish what I start, that can take things across the finish line. When I lose steam or momentum or energy, I need someone to help me list out the things that actually get it out into the world. Like Marissa on my team is my right hand. She is a type A angel.

20:09And when I first hired her, we struggled. We struggled for a while because I am so type B. And Marissa came in just this ops genius. And I struggled because immediately when she came in, her job, she was doing her job, which was to create systems and structure around the company. And I was resistant to all of that because I was flying by the seat of my pants. Now Marissa and I joke that like our two brains create one because we're both raising kids and we're doing life and we're also doing work together. But what's beautiful is that I am the person who like I come up with the idea and I have the energy around it and I get into creation mode and Marissa helps get it to completion mode.

20:52And so I've had to learn how to work with people that can kind of wrangle my ideas and then put them into action. And along with that, I've also had to hire people that will challenge me, right? Because yes, I am steering the ship, but the ship has the entire team on it. And I need people on my team where if I get this idea and I just want to go full steam ahead, they have to remind me, okay, if we're going to do this thing, then the other thing that you said was important is not going to get done. And it really has to challenge me and my energy in a positive way to help me stay focused and to help me stay in alignment with what I say matters most.

21:31And so those things have been absolutely critical because basically I picture it like a bowling alley and these types of humans and boundaries are basically like the bumpers that keep the ball going straight down the path to knock down the pins. And without the bumpers on, you better believe your girl is landing in the gutter every single time. And so I look at like my business, especially since I became a mom and realize like that in honoring the way that I can struggle and in hiring and allowing people to step in in areas that I don't shine, I have created a business that allows for so much more peace than if I was just constantly creating chaos.

22:12And I've noticed that a lot of entrepreneurs and also entrepreneurs with ADHD crave chaos. I am also someone who I can easily underestimate how long something will take. and then I can overload myself or unfortunately overload my team because I'm like, well, yeah, this is easy. Let's just get this done. Let's just knock it out. And so I am someone who can say like, oh, this isn't going to take that long. I've got this. This will be fine. In reality, it takes way longer. I mean, it's kind of like if you're going to do a home renovation where they're like double the timeline, double the budget, same is true in business.

22:46I also realized that like for so many years at the beginning of my business, I did not want systems. I didn't want structure. I didn't want meetings. I didn't want any of that. That felt so constraining to me. And I am someone who like, I don't like having plans on my calendar because I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to feel next Wednesday. I don't know if I'm going to want to do that. I am so like in my own energy that I'm like, I want to commit to things at the very last minute, which is not how life works. Right. And so I, for a very long time, I didn't have any sort of systems. And so when I brought Marissa into my business, when I became a mom and realized I cannot keep running it like this and also be the type of mom I want to be, we started creating systems.

23:30And I have gotten so system oriented because I recognize that with my brain, systems are not just like a fancy thing. They help us survive and they allow me to be more creative in my life and in my business because I have the systems and structure to follow through on the things that I need to do and that are going to get done. And so when I finally became a mom, after all those years, the mental load of it, like nearly broke me. Like my brain never turns off to this day. My brain does not shut off. And sometimes I can come at the mental load from this place of like urgency instead of presence.

24:11Like my dream is to just be this like very grounded, very here. I'm in the moment woman. And I am, I mean, I've learned to do that much better than I have in the past, but in understanding that like my brain is going to be the busiest place to be. And I need to figure out ways and boundaries and systems to allow my brain to rest and to allow me to rest, knowing that the important things are going to get done and everything's going to be okay. That has allowed me to shift so much into a more mindful and present person. Because even when I think about the word present and being present, like being present is like being in this moment right now, in this moment right now, I'm wondering what are my kids doing?

24:58Is Drew okay? What are we eating for dinner? I forgot to respond to that RCP. Like I, my brain is thinking of all these things, even while I'm sitting here recording this right now. And so I have to like come back to myself and come back to my body. Even this morning, one of my daughters is having a tough moment and I could tell she was just like feeling a lot. Again, deep feelers. We've got deep feelers here. And so I sat down on the floor with her and I was like, where do you feel this in your body? And she pointed to her chest and I sat with her and I was like, that's where I feel things too.

25:27And so we put one hand on our chest, one hand on our belly. And I said, when you feel that, when you feel that like nervous feeling in your chest, the best thing you can do is to get back into your body and just remind yourself that you are safe. And so we sat there and then my other daughter came over while sitting there on the floor. We have one hand on our chest, one hand on our belly. We're taking deep belly breaths. And I was like, a lot of times that like feeling that anxiousness comes when we're not grounded in our body. And I feel like that right there, just not only as a mom, but just as a human was like a reminder of like the grounding work that I need to do that.