Loving Our Dogs

0:00Through 25 seasons, 4 ,561 episodes, I believe The Oprah Winfrey Show is one of the greatest classrooms in the world. I really never thought of it that way. The aha moments, the breakthroughs, the LOLs, the connections, the occasional ugly cry. I miss him so terribly. I miss him every single minute. The moments that mattered. Matty! The eye-opening life lessons. Never allow them to take you somewhere else. I'm bringing them back. It's time to open the vault. I've personally chosen these classic episodes to share with you again. Every single person you ever will meet shares that common desire. They want to know, do you see me?

0:47Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you? You are listening to The Oprah Winfrey Show, the podcast.

0:59I would like all the dog lovers in the audience to please stand.

1:08That is so great. Okay. Well, get ready because today the Oprah show really is going to the dogs. My personal dog coach, yes, I have a dog coach. I tried not to have a dog coach, but I was overwhelmed by getting three dogs at the same time. And my personal dog coach is going to... I'm sharing her with you. She's giving up the goods on a new method of training that I know is going to be life-changing for all of you dog lovers, too, because I've been testing this out for over a year and a half now, and it really works, her method. So, dog owners, dog lovers, this is a show that you need to see. It all started when I was on the set of Desperate Housewives a few years ago, and I fell in love with...

1:50Look at that dog. I fell in love with Nicolette Sheridan's puppy. She had a new puppy named Oliver. Oh, my goodness. And I...it was the first time I'd ever seen a white, golden retriever. And there's Tamar. Tamar was on the set helping Nicolette Sheridan with her puppy, Oliver. And so when Nicolette saw how her little puppy, Oliver, stole my heart, she wanted me to have a pair of also white, because I was like, I've never seen a white, golden retriever. and I've had lots of golden retrievers of my own. So, and before we knew it, Stedman and I were off to pick up our new babies. You might remember this.

2:28Hi, girls and boys. The plan was that Stedman and I would each pick out one dog. I think she likes me. I don't like eliminating her just because she has a little underbite. What is that, discrimination? We absolutely can't have three. No way. What's the difference between two and three? Huge. Now, could you say no to this face? You're different. Well, neither could we. Came for two, we're leaving with three. There was Luke, my big handsome boy. Gracie, who had to explore everything. And little Layla, otherwise known as Underbite, the puppy I couldn't leave behind. They were perfect except for what all puppies do.

3:13The biting. Ow! That hurts. And the chewing. This is not good. And of course, poop. Good. Gracious all mine. You're a healthy dog. There was lots of that. No, I lost the poop. I'll find it in the morning. I didn't mind because I was in instant head over heels, L-O-V-E.

3:36Okay. Yeah, so I said on a previous show, when I asked Seven, what's the difference between two and three. It's huge, the difference between getting two and three at the same time. But I was trying so hard. I wanted to do it myself. I wanted to be responsible. I wanted them to bond with me. And then after about three months, reality had sunk in. My three puppies needed training. And so I turned to a woman who I had seen on the set of Desperate Housewives with Nicolette Sheridan. And she's created an innovative, loving approach that really works. Her name is Tamar, and she says it's all about manners.

4:13Welcome Tamar Geller. Hello, Tamar. And for all of you dog lovers, Tamar's new book is called The Loved Dog. The Loved Dog, the playful, non-aggressive way to teach your dog good behavior. And so from the very first day we started working together, because I called it three months, I had it. And I had it trying to act like I was doing it myself. And Tamar said, what we want is for your dogs to have manners. Exactly right. Right. The main difference between this method and other methods is that I look at dogs and I raise them as if they're part of the family versus train them, and I want them to be submissive and have to obey.

4:54You know, this is not the army. Yeah. I want them to be family members. I want them to be able to express who they are. That's how I feel about my dog. My dogs are family members. My dogs are family members, and I know you all feel the same way. So they're family members. So this is a show that we can all learn from each other. Tamar started working with me when the puppies were just three months old, as I said. And I say with me and not with us, because I remember I was crating them all in the same crate, and then I couldn't tell who had pooped. Mm-hmm. And Stedman, one day, said to me, I was looking for you.

5:29There's a lot of poop in that crate. So that's how he participated, by telling me when There's a lot of poop in that crate. You need to clean that up. So here's a look at one of our first training sessions with Tamar. Yes. We begin with the most basic command, sit. Sit. And sit is just like please for children, right? That's exactly right. Tamar calls this the magnet. Hold a treat in your hand, use your hand like a magnet, and move it where you want the dog's head to go. Sit. Perfect. So your attention is a big reward. When the dog sits, she gets a treat. It's about positive reinforcement. Sit.

6:11That is amazing. That is great. Next, lie down. Tamar says look at the spot on the floor where you want the dog to go. Then make a straight line from their nose to the floor, saying down. Down. And I'm putting it on the ground. And then I'm standing up. Down. Beautiful. Perfect. Perfect. Down. You want to be silly. You want to have fun. Perfect. Down. I don't know why I'm doing this, but down. And finally, come. I learned with Tamar that hide-and-seek is really a fun way to teach your dog to follow the sound of your voice. Layla. And learn to come when you call. Layla, Layla, Layla, Layla, Layla.

6:57We're so happy. We're so happy. Thank you.

7:05Tamar's loved dog approach, which is the name of her book, The Love Dog, has done wonders for our little family. But just last week, I had to bring her in to help with what she says is the number one problem that dog owners have, learning not to jump on people. Because, of course, now they're bigger. Yeah. And then when they jump on you, it's not nice for the other people. Luke. Layla Gracie. Luke. Hi, Luke. Hi. Hi, Luke. Hi, Luke. Hi, Gracie. Hi, hi. This is what happens every single time when I come home, or if I've just been away for an hour. Come back. Come back. Oh, my god. Yeah, yeah. It's a lot of love.

7:45It's a lot of love, Tamar, but a little too much love, because they also do it to strangers. Hi. Hey, Leila. All right, so how do I stop them from doing that? They are so excited to see the mom that they forget the manners. So I want to show them, what do they want the most when they jump like that on you? Love. You want it. You want love? They want to come to your face. Now, if all I'm going to do when he jumps on me, I'll turn my back. Turn, turn, turn your back. Turn your back. I want you to be the center of the universe. Therefore, I want you to love them so much. Sit, sit, sit, sit. That when you take the love away, they're like, oh, what can we do to get her love back?

8:19OK. I don't know if it's love or chicken. No. They jumped on you before you had chicken. That is true. That is true. Is it love or chicken? The thing of it is, I want them to know that the only time you're gonna look at them and you're gonna touch them is when they're sitting. I want them to feel like they're exploding, but yet they're not moving the tush off the ground because if they do they lose you. As soon as that you turn your back and stop, tell them to sit. Step one, turn your back. Step two, tell them sit. That's it. You know, and when she sits, then she may or may not get a chicken. The main thing is she's gonna get your attention.

8:52That's what she wants. So the third step that I want you to make sure or prolly that you are doing is that you Keep your hand low because if you give your treat here, she's going to jump to get it. Oh, good point. So step one, turn your back. Step two, sit. Step three, give your treat low. So she wants to stay low to the ground. That's it. That's it. Okay, that's good. Okay, let's try it. Layla, Layla, Layla! How are you? How are you? How are you? How's my way, Layla? How are you? See, she's not the jumper. How are you? How are you? But that's the way she's going to... It's my feet. Leila! Leila!

9:31Sit! As soon as she sits, I want you to give it the name of what we call it in English. Sit! And we're doing like a sing song with. Sit! Because it's about, you know, celebrating it. Sit! Like you're doing it with children. They have some chicken! Sit! I don't want you to say good girl. You don't. Good girl is too generic. How can she repeat doing good girl? Sit! Sit! Yes! Good sit! Good sit. Not good girl. Okay. Good sit. Good sit.

10:05Luke, Luke. Hi Luke, hi Luke, hi Luke. What do you do now? What's step two? Sit. And now give him a treat. Low. Give you a little treat. That's not enough. Okay. Turn around. Low. Sit. Sit. Good sit. Perfect. That's perfect. There you go. Hi Gracie. Sit, sit. Good. See how difficult it is she is? How she's like stepping. Yes, yes, yes. It's so difficult for her to contain herself. I know. But she is. She is. Perfect. What we've been doing is going off, off, off. Or some people need the dog in the chest or step on the back feet, which is Well that's crazy. in my mind. That's crazy. So I want the tone of voice and your smile Yes.

10:56To be part of the reward. May I say, can anybody get a front shot of her? Is she not smiling? She's smiling. This dog smiles all the time. That's because she is the love dog. Sick. Look how you were crazy. Yeah.

11:11They don't jump anymore. Yeah, because I practice it a lot after you're gone. And I, you know, because normally, any time I'd go away for five minutes and come back. Now, Layla wasn't the jumper, but Luke and Gracie were the jumpers. Absolutely, and they were getting rewarded for a behavior that you didn't like. And when you show them what you wanted... And the thing is, you don't have to have a treat every time. No. Now you don't have to have a treat. No. You train them with the treats. That's exactly right. They're like Pavlov's dogs. They think you're going to have a treat. That's exactly right.

11:37Yes. And that method, Opele, is very different than putting something that I call Spanish Inquisition Method... Yeah. ...you know, on a dog, that every time you want to correct, you yank it, and it goes into the dog's neck. Look at that, versus when you're just turning around... Six! Yes! Yes!

12:01Tamar was born and raised in Israel. At 18, like all Israeli citizens, she left home for mandatory service in the Army. She spent her downtime watching special forces train their dogs. In order to break the spirit of a dog, they would let a dog stand on his back feet for hours on hours. When they finally let him down, he would collapse. And I was appalled. As soon as I was done with my service in the army, I wanted to take time out and think. The best place for that was going to the desert. While she was there, Tamar met a team of researchers studying wolves. What was very striking to me when I was sitting there observing the wolves was to see how loving they are and how they teach the young.

12:45It was unbelievable, warm. I was blown away. No aggression. Tamar developed a plan to train dogs based on the wolf behavior she witnessed. Yay! She calls it the loved dog method. We're talking to Tamar Geller. Her new book is called The Loved Dog. She's been teaching my golden retrievers, who I used to call the wild blondes before her, but they're not so wild anymore. Luke, Layla, and Gracie, her method since they were babies. And the results really do speak for themselves. I have very well-mannered dogs. And happy. Well, yeah, I'd be happy too. Yeah, I'd like to come back as my dogs. And so we're doing this show so your dogs can learn to have manners and learn to do this too.

13:34This is my favorite thing with my dogs. We're not allowed to eat until we sit. We're not allowed to come running into the room until we sit and we ask for it. My dogs are now loving eating healthy. Today is rice, carrots, and beef. But in our house... Sit. Sit. Sit. Mealtime doesn't begin. Wait. Wait. Wait. Until they've shown that they have manners. No more. Good sit, Gracie. See how mannered they are? Everybody's on their own bow. I love my no more trick. That's our favorite little thing. Now, and Tamar is the one who taught me how to do that, that they can't just run in and grab food. They have to have manners.

14:25And sitting down is like saying, please, may I eat, right? Exactly. It's the basic, basic, basic thing that every dog needs to learn. I believe give as much love as you want, as long as you have boundaries. As long as you teach, I need you to feel that you earned it. I want a dog to look at the owner and to say, how did I get so lucky? because the owner is demanding respect, demanding, like he would do with a child. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And it's not respect when they're just jumping all over things and not, don't have boundaries. Exactly right. For those of you who are bringing home a brand-new puppy, one thing is for sure that you're going to get your fair share of pee and poo.

15:02Take a look at Tamara's three-step approach to potty training. Really what housebreaking is about is teaching her how to hold it and then teaching her how to let you know that she needs to go out. It just takes repetition. Start by setting up a cozy crate. Your puppy will learn to hold it in no time. After three times of being in her own mess, she's going to say, eww, and she's going to hold it. Next, set up a schedule. Every two hours, let them out of the crate. This is drink time. Drink. Drink. You'll give him water right before you take him outside. And then when you're going to go to the bathroom, say, do your business, go party, whatever you choose to call it.

15:43Let's go party. Let's go party, CJ. Let's go party. Gradually, increase free time outside of the crate as your puppy gets used to the pattern. Now teach them to let you know when it's time to go out. One solution is to teach the dog to ring a bell. I'll start by holding the bell in my hand. I'll reward Honey if she touches the bell with either her paw or her nose. Touch! Touch! Finally, I need to show Honey the relevance of ringing the bell. So when she does it, I immediately take her out. Honey. Josh! Good job. Wow. That's good. Is there more on that in the book for how you learn to do that? Yes.

16:30OK. So what is the technique you use called the shrieking dolphin? It's every once in a while, you need to let your dog that they're doing something wrong. I want to get their attention. Yeah. So I do like, ah, that is it. And that dog go like, what just happened? And, boom, he's there and I can redirect him to where I want it to go. Yeah, I learned that for you. I have my own, too. And one is in, ah, ah. Yeah, because when you're just screaming, no, no, no, no, it doesn't, doesn't do anything. They turn you out. Yeah, okay. Barking is one of the most common complaints from not only dog owners, but their neighbors.

17:03A scout likes to bark at anything and everything.

17:11Tamar startles Scout into silence with one squirt from her spray bottle. That's a good shush. Then she immediately gives him a treat to reinforce that it's good to quiet down. I sprayed it in just water because I want to... Shush! Shush! This time, Scout stops in his tracks before she even has a chance to spray. That's a good shush! With a little practice, Scout learns to shush when told. Really, is it... That quickly, though? Yeah. That quickly? Yeah. Yeah. The force that drives dog with any behavior is what they associate with pain and pleasure. He was associating a lot of pleasure with barking.

17:55I needed to change that. So giving me the surprise spritz with water was like, ooh, I don't like that. Yeah. I like the surprise spritz with water and not hitting him with a newspaper. No. No. Okay. No. And then you also use different voice levels, too. Absolutely. You're having your voice is one of the best tools you can have of communicating if you're happy or not with them. So there's the normal tone of voice that we are talking to them every day. Then you have when you're happy, that was nice. And then when you want to go to town, like, whoa, come, come, something that they did fantastic. So you have the range of the good.

18:30Yeah. This is so funny. When Tamar was teaching me how to get my puppies to come when they were younger, we were the ones who were, but we were so excited. Come! Come! Come, Laila! Singing for them. Yes, they were. They were like, okay. They love me. I'm coming. Describe what you mean by going wolf on, on, on, going wolf. Well, I had that situation actually with Luke, my Lukey, your Lukey. Yeah, my Lukey. And he, he like, one time they called me and they said he ran out the gate. I was like, mm. Yeah, he went out the back gate. Which is very dangerous. Very, very dangerous. Because he can get run over by a car.

19:04Yeah. So it was important not to mince words and to let him know that I'm very unhappy with him running out. Okay. Okay. That's when I went wolf on him. And what I did, I kind of mimic what wolves do in nature. When they want to be threatening, they raise their huckles, their ears go up, they become very stiff and try to look as big as possible. They focus on you with a-going-to-kill-you look, and they're almost like not breathing. OK? If you see a barking dog, it's not as scary. So I would like to see you do that right now. So it goes. OK. I'm acting. I would like to see you go woof on us right now.

19:36Go ahead. OK. I'm acting, guys. OK. It's not like. But what it is, you really have to go to town to let the dog know what you mean. So you go, and I looked at Luke, and I was like, no, wait, wait. And he was like, oops. I never hear a screaming at me. I better go run back home. Yeah. Because it was such a big deal. And what I do, I hold as if I'm so tense. I'm like, wait. I'm barely talking as if you're so... I'm scared right now, Tana. I'm scared right now. And with no physical, with no hurting the dog. No physical, yeah. And the moment he went back, I immediately became, oh. Loving, loving to him.

20:14You got it. So it was really clear for him to understand. Yeah. And so that's right, because even, you know, dogs, children, puppies respond to tone. You can tell him, you're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. And they would be like, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're so stupid. Thank you so much, Tamar. Thank you. Thank you. On behalf of Luke, Leigh, Leigh. Thank you. Oprah Leigh. Tamar's book, The Love Dog, for all of you who love your dogs, it's the playful, non-aggressive way to teach your dog good manners. Hi, Oprah and Tamar. Nicolette here with Oliver and little fatty princess.

20:52Yes? Fatty, you want the ball? Fatty! This little fatty princess is a rescue dog. She is a cross between a bearded collie and a terrier. She's quite regal. Oh. OK, all right. All right, you're regal too. And this is Oliver. Come here, boy. Gets a little jealous when it's not all about him. Who's he, good boy? And he's a golden retriever. He's my running buddy. And the two of them are my best friends. Oh, here she comes. Get him! They've always been a source of comfort and love, and I'd have to say are probably responsible for my sanity. Whoo! I couldn't imagine life without them. Okay, so the Super Bowl of the dog world is a very elite and prestigious Westminster competition.

21:42Just a few weeks ago, there was a new champion was awarded Best in Show. Please welcome 2007's Westminster Best in Show champion Felicity's Diamond Jim and his handler, Kelly Fitzgerald.

21:57Oh, my goodness. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Oh, he's beautiful. Even more beautiful in person. I understand he goes by James. Yes, his call name is James, yes. Congratulations. Thank you so much. When did you know he was a winner? Terry and Alan Patton are his owners. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Thank you. Thank you. How old is he? He's six. He's six. So when did you know he was a winner? When did you know? Well, when he was born, he had perfect markings. So, I mean, I couldn't have painted him on any better. That's number one. And then you have to be very patient. As they're growing up, they have to have what we call the total package, which is the right temperament, trainability, which he certainly had.

22:42I almost went to a Springer, because my friend Annette Simmons had a beautiful Springer who just recently passed away. But I just love their... Do they have a lovely temperament? Oh, they're awesome. They have a great family dog, yes. Really? Yes. They like to be everywhere with you. Really? Yeah. Okay. I've been such a golden and Cocker girl all these years. Do you ever let him... Oh, you'd love a Springer. Really? If you would love Cockers and the Goldens, you would love a Springer. But these dogs are very calm, right? James is... We call him... Is this a good breed for a family? It's excellent.