The Person Who Changed My Life

0:00Through 25 seasons, 4 ,561 episodes, I believe The Oprah Winfrey Show is one of the greatest classrooms in the world. I really never thought of it that way. The aha moments, the breakthroughs, the LOLs, the connections, the occasional ugly cry. I miss him so terribly. I miss him every single minute. The moments that mattered. Daddy! The eye-opening life lessons. Never allow them to take you somewhere else. I'm bringing them back. It's time to open the vault. I've personally chosen these classic episodes to share with you again. Every single person you ever will meet shares that common desire. They want to know, do you see me?

0:47Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you? You are listening to The Oprah Winfrey Show, the podcast.

0:59Have a seat, everybody, because I have some great news for someone on the show today. You know, I love a surprise, and this one's going to make somebody's dream come true. Fun, fun, fun. We asked celebrities and our viewers to tell us, who is the one person that changed your life? And those of you at home, think about this, because nobody makes it alone. Don't you agree? Anybody who makes any success in their life, somebody, somewhere, showed them a little piece of light the way out. This is so great, because it really gets you thinking about it for yourself. My first guest says he was inspired by a man he never even met.

1:30He wrote us this letter about the person who changed his life. Dear Oprah, the person who changed my life doesn't even know it, but he impacted my life profoundly. Emmett Smith of the Dallas Cowboys left college to become an NFL football star in the early 90s. At that time, I was in college. My parents had recently divorced, I had been getting in trouble with the police, and my grades had dropped. I wanted to give up on college. I thought there had to be an easier way out. Football was a world to me back then. I watched it day and night and played it every weekend. One day I was watching a sports show and I heard Emmett say something so profound, it has stayed with me till today.

2:12He had promised his parents that he would return to college and get a degree. Those words were the same that I had uttered to my parents when they were breaking up. From that day on, I worked hard at school and finished up college with a degree in economics. I am now a successful businessman, and I also coach football on the side. The most ironic thing about this story is that Emmett Smith graduated the same day that I did. When I got home that night to put my diploma on my bedroom wall, I had the TV on, and the sportscaster showed a clip of Emmett graduating. It meant the world to me that someone of his caliber was able to fulfill a dream.

2:49He gave me the spirit to go after my goals and dreams in life. He changed my outlook on life for the better, and I will always thank him in my heart for that. Warmest regards, Ali. Come on up here. That's so moving. That is such a moving story. Hello. Yes. I always say this. I feel this about everybody, because, you know, when you're on television or famous or somebody like Emmett, people always look to you to be role models, but we are all role models for each other, and you never know how what you are doing in your life might have some impact on somebody else. Were you always a big fan of his?

3:26Yeah, I grew up watching him always, and a big fan of his. I never got the chance to meet him, but he inspired me tremendously. He let me understand that it's important to go after your goals in life and make them come true. Yeah, so it was more than just about football. Absolutely. Emmett Smith, as you all may know, is a winner on and off the field. Here's a little background on the superstar who changed Ali's life.

3:50with three trips to the super bowl and two mvp titles emmett smith is one of the greatest football players in nfl history six years after leaving college for the nfl emmett fulfilled a lifelong dream and a promise to his parents by returning to school and receiving his degree in 1996. Emmett is not only a superstar on the playing field, he's also a superhero to all the lives he touches with his charity work. Active in numerous foundations, he's never forgotten where he came from and always takes time out for his legions of fans.

4:29Yeah, I have such respect for Emmett because he's one of those people who constantly gives back. When Ali told us, we told Emmett about you. And he wanted you to know how proud he is of you. And so he sent us himself.

4:48How are you doing?

4:49Martin Sheen:Pleasure to meet you. Pleasure to meet you. Thank you. Thank you very much. You're good. How are you, Emma? How are you doing? Good to see you. You too. Thank you so much. I love it!

5:06It's my pleasure. Who knew? Wow. I don't know, were you in the green? Yeah, are you a little surprised? Yeah, I just want to take this opportunity just to thank you for not only the accomplishments you've made on the field, but the fact that you promised your parents something came through. I think it affected me in a profound way, and I hope that those out there that are watching, they know that it's important, important to go after your dream and your goals. And I want to thank you very much. Oh, that's special. Thank you. Thank you very much. And to you, you know, for me, as an athlete, you really don't know who you're really touching.

5:46And for me, I've been blessed by many folks to share a lot of wisdom in my life, to go on and inspire others to do well. And so, you know, my mission, not only for the game of football, but also what God has put me on this earth to do is to try to help others be successful no matter what it may be. I try to carry myself in a manner which will reflect that. And so I'm glad to see that there's someone out there through me making that promise to my mother. But not only was the promise for my mother, but it was for me to keep my spirit right with her and to keep my spirit right with God. So I think...

6:22I love that. So who's been the great influence in your life? I would say my parents. My mother has always been one to make sure that I got my education and that I did my homework. My father always was on my back to make sure that I did not take things for granted. And not only that, but wasn't given anything and always earned what I deserved. So, you know, with that balance, I think it kept me focused, kept me inspired to go out and be successful, and not only just be successful, but to be able to turn around whenever I achieve success, be able to turn around and be able to give back to folk and try to encourage others to do well.

7:01Well, there are, there are two people here who flew in to tell the world how proud they are of you. They are Mr. and Mrs. Smith, your parents. Oh, goodness gracious. Mr. How are you doing? Mr. Hello, Mrs. Smith. Mr. How are you? Mr. Proud Mary. Mr. It's a pleasure to meet you. Mr. How do you do, Mr. Smith? Mr. It's a pleasure to meet you. Mr. What a pleasure.

7:29Martin Sheen:What a pleasure. Mr. How are you? Mr. So that was you. Wow. Mr. I'm surprised for him and you were surprised me at the same time. Mr. Yeah, great. It's a double surprise. Mr. We saw you standing out there when he was graduating with the sign Proud Mary. Mr. Yes. Mr. How proud were you? Did you, you expected him to go back and get his degree? I did, and I am very, very... I'm more than proud. I really am. Mm-hmm. What was it? Because, you know, a lot of... We hear about on the news, you always hear about the athletes or the celebrities who go astray. What is it that you think you all instilled in him that has resounded with him through all these years?

8:07Well, one thing, education still goes a long ways, even he has a professional career. So there was no doubt in your mind that he was going back, right? No doubt. He had to go back. Well, thank you so much. Actress Jada Pinkett Smith says she first saw that person that changed her life on TV. The rest is history. Hey, Oprah. How are you? The person that changed my life, I'd have to say, was Debbie Allen. Growing up, there were only a handful of black women on TV, and Debbie Allen was starring on Fame. and on Fame she choreographed, starred, she directed. There was nothing that Debbie Allen couldn't do, and I really molded my career after her.

8:59She really, really inspired me to come to Hollywood and do my thing. So I went to audition for A Different World, and actually Debbie was in the audition. And the producers decided to give me a reoccurring character on a different world. Debbie really launched my career giving me that character. I think the greatest lessons I've learned from Debbie is basically, you got to keep on going. You got to keep going. When she gets her job done, she gets it done exactly how she wants it done. And that means more to her than just being able to survive. If she's gonna be here, she's gotta do it her way.

9:46And that's how I feel. You know, I feel like if I'm gonna be here, I got to do it my way. She made me see that there was nothing wrong with that. Ms. Jada. Thanks, Jada. Martin Sheen, the star of this season's smash hit, at the West Wing, told us about the heavenly man who helped him soar.

10:08Martin Sheen:Hello, Oprah. There were several people in my young life that helped form me who were mentors, besides my family members. And the first one was maybe the most important one. His name was Father Alfred Drapp, and he came to my parish at Holy Trinity in the mid-1950s when I was a teenager as an assistant pastor. And this man had a profound effect on my life as a whole, both my career as an actor and my spiritual development. I had a conflict with my father because he wanted me to go to the University of Dayton or at least get an education. And Father Al tried to dissuade him from that and encourage him to encourage me to be an actor.

10:51Martin Sheen:But my dad wouldn't listen to him, and he insisted that I take an entrance examination to the University of Dayton, which I did. But I threw the examination on purpose. I was trying to tell my father something, that I was not cut out for academia. And out of a possible 100, I scored what is still to this day the lowest score in the history of an infant's examination to the University of Dayton. I got a three. My dad got the message and gave up trying to make a scholar out of me. And Father Rao came kind of to the rescue, and he actually loaned me the money to get started in New York. I left home in January of 1959 and began my career here in New York City in the theater.

11:37Martin Sheen:And Father Al was largely responsible for that. Thank you, Martin Sheen. Nobody makes it alone. Actor Andrew Shue of Melrose Place fame says that life is only meaningful when shared. That is so true. And that's why he devotes his time to his organization called Do Something, which inspires young people to get involved and make the world a better place. At age 32, he is now a hero to children around the world, and he's here to tell us who his own personal heroes are. Who changed your life? Many people. But first I'd like to say my family. I think everybody who's been fortunate enough to have an amazing family knows that those are the people who really, really impact who you are.

12:25But I think there's always some unsung heroes who step into your life in a certain time and say something or do something that really, really stays with you. And I had a teacher in high school who was the most respected teacher in the whole school. And I was a good soccer player, and I was also the school president. And somebody might think, well, if you're a good soccer player and a school president, you must have huge self-esteem. But I really, actually, I didn't. I felt like I can do all these things on the outside, but inside I kind of felt that I wasn't a great person or I wasn't, you know, an interesting person.

13:02And this teacher, Mr. Owen Snyder, told me, he said one time, and it was actually, it was incredibly powerful. He said, you know what? You're a neat guy. And I said, he was trying to say that you're a good guy on the inside. You're a really important person on the inside, not because of all these exterior things you do. And I think a lot of people who get driven with exterior kind of miss out on what's inside. And that stayed with me all through everything I've ever done and constantly brought me back. Now, did you think he was a neat guy? Is that why a compliment from him meant so much to you?

13:37Totally. He was the one that everybody thought was the most interesting, the most respected teacher. And for him to talk about kind of who I was as a person just made me forget about all those other things that most people, you know, when you're 15 years old, that's what it's all about is all the exterior things. Dr. Correct. Dr. And so it just made me feel like I could do anything because I had belief in yourself. I mean, it goes to that saying, everybody says, you know, you got to believe in yourself and love yourself, but it's often hard. Dr. But you know what it is, I think, after years, I don't know, I could write my own book about, you know, all the interviews I've done over the years.

14:09Maybe I will one day. But one of the things that reoccurs over and over again that I've seen as a theme in people's lives is validation. Dr. Right. Dr. And that when you talk about believing yourself and loving yourself, you can't get that unless you are validated by somebody, somebody who says, yes, I do think you're worthy. Yes, I do think that what you have to say is important. Yes, I do think that what you say is meaningful. And I think that really is the bottom line. Everybody is looking for that. It's a source of every single discussion we have. And you can get unbelievable support, and I have from, you know, my sister's been incredible, and my brothers and my parents are amazing.

14:46But at the same time, sometimes it takes an outsider for it to say something like that to make you really believe it, because you think, oh, they love me. Of course they think I'm a good guy, but sometimes you really need. So anybody who's out there, and when you think about the times where you could really make that difference, it's so important to never underestimate the power you have to impact somebody in that way. Also, soccer coach. Was that an influence, too, for you? Yeah. I had an amazing coach at Dartmouth, a guy named Bobby Clark, who I went through an incredibly difficult time. I lost my brother my senior year in college.

15:18And he told me a story about how when his father died, the next day he had a huge soccer game in Scotland. He was one of the best goalkeepers in Scotland. And he talked about how you just have to keep doing in life. You know, you can't stop to kind of crumble. And he said, you know, you have to just keep on living. And that's what's most important. And he inspired me to go to Africa. He was a coach in Africa, so I went and played soccer in Africa and taught math. So he always lived by example. It wasn't most about, you know, big speeches and, you know, Newt Rockne speech, but more just about who he was and a simple man who always lived by just how he treated people and just an incredible example.

15:59Which just goes to show, which I was saying to the audience at the beginning of the show, you never know, you know, just somebody saying to you, your teacher saying to you, you're a really neat guy. You never know what your words means to somebody else, especially children. Emmett knows about that. Well, it's a day of surprises. The two men who changed Andrew's life are here. Come on out. Owen Schneider and Bobby Clark.

16:22What are you doing? You look like I'm getting older, huh? I'm not even older. I can't believe in you. Nice to see you. Shucks. Oh, shucks. All right, I just have to say, this is one of the best teachers in the country, and this is one of the best soccer coaches in the country. Do you remember, do you remember saying to him, you're a neat guy? I'm sure I did, because he was. But you don't, you don't, that's what I'm talking about. You don't realize, you don't know that you did that. No, but I had a lot of conversations with Andrew about, about Andrew, not just about being president of the council and the best soccer player in the world and bound.

17:03And he was. He was the star. He was the star of a lot of things in high school. But I wanted him to know he was more than that. As a person, he was even an even better person. Wow. Was it something you saw in him, or do you try to do that with all your students? Well, I mean, to say that it's hard to work with somebody like Andrew would be kind of a joke. I mean, if you only deal with people like Andrew, that'd be great. But I try to do that with everybody. I think every good teacher tries to do that. Was he the best in soccer? He was certainly one of them. I never, I'm never going to say it. I was lucky.

17:32I think I'd be the best job in the world. I work with some of the greatest kids, and I do my hobby. And Andrew was, he was the inspiration to the team. When I went to Dartmouth, it was a team that was maybe struggling, had been struggling a little bit. And he came in, and he was a kid as a freshman that really believed we could be great. And his last game, I think, was scoring a penalty kick to win the Ivy League at Brown. Andrew! Thank you, Andrew Shue. Thank you, gentlemen. Both Andrew and Martin Sheen's stories, along with many others, have featured in a book called The Person Who Changed My Life by Matilda Rafa Cuomo.

18:13So thank you all so much. We're talking about the person who had a major influence in your life. Ten years ago, Robert Sullivan was sleeping in his car and on a one-way road to nowhere when his teacher changed his life forever. Love teachers. Just love them. He's strumming a happy tune now, but ten years ago, Robert Sullivan was a young man without a future. I was homeless, and at the time, I would go through garbage cans to get money. I was living in my car eating cans of tuna fish and crackers. Robert was troubled and undisciplined. He was in and out of school, seemed to be headed nowhere until he enrolled in a community college and discovered a passion for accounting.

18:53The person who changed my life would be Larry Lees. I think it was his approach to accounting. Larry Lees had very high standards in his courses and that that was what allowed me to elevate myself. He let me know that I can have confidence in myself. because of the fact that he challenged me, made me feel like I could be something better than where I was when I was homeless. Always respect him for that. Larry inspired this one-time high school dropout to succeed big time. Robert combined his love for accounting with a growing interest in computers and helped to launch a successful software company.

19:29Because of what I learned in accounting and the values that he taught me and made me strong in that, I was able to apply to what became our online business at Commerce One. Last summer, that company went public, and Robert became a multimillionaire and retired at the age of 35. I can't believe this. Ten years ago, I was homeless. And now I have a really nice home that I own. It's mine. But Robert had some unfinished business. When I was in Larry's class, he had made this statement that if any of you were ever successful and that you felt and the knowledge that you got from this class helped you, you can show your appreciation by buying me a Porsche.

20:16So, Larry, would you say that as, you know, sarcastic, I'm sure.

20:19Martin Sheen:Yes. Yeah. So, but guess what? Larry's driving now. Get this. Ten years later, Robert... Ten years later, Robert showed up at Shasta College and threw Larry a set of keys to his own brand-new Porsche. That must have been a fun, hot moment. Unbelievable. Yeah. Has any other student ever done that? No. No. Unbelievable. That's great. So whether it be a teacher or a friend or co-worker, I really do hope that you're inspired to think about the person who has made a difference even changed your life. This is Susan O 'Reilly. We're ending this show with her tribute to the woman who made a difference for her.

21:05Even though she had six kids of her own, my mother was always giving to other people. If somebody was sick, she would bring them a meal, just doing whatever she could to help everybody that needed her help. My mother learned she had cancer just after her 36th birthday. It was very hard on the family after my mother died, and it was hard for me sometimes just to get through my days because I felt like I couldn't cope with, you know, taking care of my brothers and myself. I decided not to go home again after my freshman summer that I was home from college because I couldn't fill the role of mother for my family.

21:39I was, you know, 19 years old and I just couldn't do it. The person who changed my life is my Aunt Janet by becoming a mother to me when I needed a mother most. I called her in the spring of my sophomore year in college. and asked her if I could come live with them. She did not hesitate. She just took me in like I was her daughter. Janet really encouraged me to talk about my mother's death, and I can remember many nights that first summer just sitting up at 2 in the morning just kind of crying to my Aunt Janet about things that I had never dealt with in the past. The three things that she taught me the most are kindness, thoughtfulness, and love.

22:17She's very similar to my mother in a lot of ways, and ironically enough, her and my mother have the same name, which is Janet Kavanaugh. I truly feel like she is a gift for my mother. I had a big hole in my heart when my mother died. She has made me feel whole again. In my mind, I am Janet's daughter. I thank God for Janet every day, and I know that my mother is up there as an angel, involved in our connection in some way. Great.