Willpower 101: How to Strengthen This Critical Success Muscle (Greatest Hits)

24:21Again, a little stress can be useful, can strengthen you. But if it's constantly having to like say no to the distractions or the donuts or the whatever it is that's getting in your way, that's where it helps to change your environment. Why Steve Jobs has like just a few items in the wardrobe, less decisions to make. And ultimately, you go, how can I set up my environment and set up my life so I'm not constantly fatigued having to make these little decisions or use a lot of willpower or a lot of critical thinking? And again, it's a little bit, the reason why we see contradiction in the research is it's not going to be one extreme or the other.

24:57Some degree of challenge is going to strengthen you and it's going to help you, but too much is going to overdo it and burn a person out, just like with exercise. So you find that balance for you. Yeah. For me, what's been helpful, you know, maybe in the case of your side hustle in your business, it's like blocking off the time on your calendar or prioritizing the night before, like what exactly you're going to work on when you get to the office the next day. instead of spending the first 15, 30 minutes or 45 minutes like trying to figure out, all right, what am I going to tackle today? It's like, no, you know exactly in advance and you're removing that calorie burning brain decision from the equation.

25:33And it just like makes life a little bit easier and you feel more productive because of it. The next point that we have is the concept of today and not tomorrow. Like I'm probably guilty just to everybody else. Well, you know, diet starts on Monday kind of a thing or, you know, postponing things towards New Year's resolutions. But kind of like what we touched on before, you know, if something is not worth doing today, it's probably not going to be worth doing tomorrow for you either, at least long term. So today, not tomorrow. If something is worth doing, you know, it ought to be worth doing today or starting today because tomorrow is a very rosy future and today is a little bit to implement.

26:05What can help some people with that is we can trick ourselves because we can go, oh, well, it's not going to make a difference whether I do it today or tomorrow, right, from a practical standpoint. So, you know, if I do this workout today versus tomorrow, if I write this article today versus tomorrow, does it make a difference from a physical world sort of standpoint? Maybe not. What really is the shift is who you become when you make that decision either way. So for instance, I get an example, times where I'm, you know, laying in my bed, I'm taking a nap, I'm resting after a day of work and I do Brazilian jujitsu and it's in the evenings.

26:39So I can remember times where I'm like laying in bed, I'm like, ah, I'm just so comfortable. I kind of want to relax and take a nap. I don't really feel like going to martial arts. I can go tomorrow or later this week or whatever. And in that moment, I know the important thing, it's not about my physical strength or the jujitsu class. It's who do I become if I make a decision to, and this goes back to identity, to let's say be lazy or to take the comfortable route. It's more important to me to go to that class in that moment, just because it changes something about your identity and who you are when you go, this is uncomfortable and that's exactly why I need to do it.

27:16Now, there's a little bit of a caveat because are there times where I'm, there have been times where I'm laying in bed and I'm like, actually, my body really just needs rest today. Like I can just tell I need to take a break. So this isn't like an extreme thing, but that's maybe one or two times out of 10 that I've been in that circumstance. So I'm conscious in those times and I go, you know what, I'm actually just going to take a rest day and I do it. There's no guilt. It's totally owning it. You learn to become conscious about your decisions where it's not the exercise. It's not whether you write something, you record a video for your business or you do this.

27:47It's not those little things themselves in terms of the outcome. It's more about the outcome of who you become when you make those decisions and when you decide to do something that's challenging because it now shifts and those actions do shift your identity. And you now have evidence that you are someone who has willpower. You gain evidence that you can push through challenges in the internal shift that's created by those decisions is really what has that carryover effect then to being a more productive person in everything that you do. Okay, that makes sense. Helps shift your identity by saying, well, yeah, it's something that I'm not going to put off.

28:22I'm going to actually tackle it today. Tell me about state management. This was an interesting concept in the book too. State is referring to your emotional state. How do you feel? Right. So I'm sure you can remember times where you've been in a state of flow and ideas are coming out and you're really like, I just want to take on the world and I want to get all this work done and feeling productive and like getting things off the checklist. There might be other times where you've been in a state where it's like, I just want to, I mean, for me, I just want to sit back and watch Netflix for five hours and not do anything, right?

28:56Both of those are different states. And the thing is, instead of being sort of a slave to one state and going, well, I'm just not in the mood, you go, what can I do to change my state? The whole Abraham Lincoln, give me, here are different numbers, give me four hours to chop down a tree. I'll spend the first three sharpening the ax or whatever. Sure. Now, state management doesn't require a lot of time investment, but it is that idea that you set yourself up for success. So what I mean by state management is if I'm not in, let's say, a creative state, if I just kind of woke up, I'm kind of getting going and I go, okay, now I need to work on something in my business.

29:33I need to write an article or whatever. Well, if I just open up a blank, you know, word processor and my brain is just like not giving me anything, then the problem was I didn't manage my state. The first thing I do before an interview, before speaking on stage, before working in my business, before doing virtually any of these things, the first step is actually getting myself into the state for that activity. So it could be as simple as getting up and walking, which can enhance creativity by about 60%. The research shows physical movement is the quickest way to change your state. You'd be putting on some great music, you know, dancing, moving my body.

30:12Now I'm in a different state. So going back to that Netflix example, if I'm sitting there binge watching Netflix, I don't want to go exercise and do an hour long workout. It's too much of a change in state from an object at rest, wanting to stay at rest to an object in motion to stay in motion. So what I do is I go, I change my state first. And then here's the thing. You don't want to make a decision until you're in the right state. So if you've ever been in an empowered state, you'll probably make great decisions. If you've been in a disempowered state, oftentimes the decisions aren't so great.

30:43So if I go, I don't feel like exercising right now. I don't make the decision whether or not I'm going to exercise sitting in my chair. First, I would get up. I would do 10 jumping jacks. I'd move my body, maybe put on some upbeat music. And then I go, okay, I'm going to just do that for two minutes. Now, after those two minutes, I go, do I want to sit back down and keep watching Netflix or do I want to go exercise? And what decision do you think I'm more likely to make after I've gotten up and changed my state? Okay. Okay. Man, I can see how this would be really powerful. And it works with music, works with movement.

31:17I think there was an example, even just like kind of a power pose or like a freedom pose of like, you know, spreading your arms out wide, something like that. This is one of those simple little hacks, so to speak, where another example, if you walk with your head down low and kind of put yourself into imagine what a depressed person would look like if they were walking. You walk that same way if I start to feel depressed. Whereas the research shows if you smile, even if you're faking it and you act like you're successful and you carry yourself with a stature and walk upright and confident, well, by changing your physical body, you actually start to change your emotional state and you'll start to experience those emotions.

31:55It's really hard to look up, put your eyes up, look up towards the ceiling, put a big smile on your face and feel depressed. It's almost impossible because the physiology doesn't allow for those feelings to go along with that physical state that you're in. Yeah, very quick hack there. I like that one. Did you have the 20 second rule in your book? Was that another article? Kind of the theory that if you want to learn guitar, if you want to get better at practicing guitar, for example, like don't keep it buried away in the attic, keep it, you know, on the rack in the living room. So you, it takes less than 20 seconds to start the thing.

32:25Yeah. So I didn't refer to it as the 22nd rule. That to me is simply a part of the managing your environment. If people have talked about this, essentially putting temptations or distractions, making them harder to get access to. So the principle here is I like to say, it's working with your psychology instead of against your psychology. So if a person goes, you know, I'm lazy or whatever. Well, human beings have a natural tendency to be, you know, lazy. But what is that if not just being efficient from another perspective? Like, I don't want to do more work than I absolutely have to. I don't want to burn more calories than I absolutely have to.

33:01So it's like, use that. Make the things that are temptations. They're buried out of sight, out of mind. It's hard to get to. You don't even keep them in your house or your workplace or whatever. Then it takes that extra effort. And if the thing that you want to do, You know, practice guitar, eat healthier foods, get work done, make it easier. A simple example for that from an entrepreneur standpoint is I realized that recording videos required me setting up this whole backdrop. I got to get my lights going. I got my camera tripod set up. And I'm like, so I would constantly put it off. So I just go, it's worth investing in a different setup that it's going to take me 10 seconds to set it up and get it going.

33:39because I'll just be far more productive when I know it's a really easy thing to do versus something that I'm like, oh, this is going to take so much work. Yeah, make it plug and play versus trying to, you know, have to do this whole setup every time. That makes sense. So the next point that I have is micro habits and actually have a whole episode on this episode 212. And actually Derek shared a kind of a framework for micro habits in our productivity roundup recently, which was I think episode 276, which was this, his magic three words, can Can I just, and then followed by a very small commitment.

34:10So can you dive into that a little bit? Yeah. So Micro Habits, BJ Fogg talks about it. Stephen Geist, the book, Mini Habits, really popularized it. And so I love giving credit to those who really brought it to the forefront. And for me, I need, or what helps me is having reminders, like little tools in my tool belt. So that's where Can I Just was born. Using it as like an action, like, can I just something? So if I want to clean my apartment, right, I go, oh, I look at my apartment. Okay, I got all this stuff to clean. I don't know if I really feel like doing that, right? So part of changing the state is I go, well, can I just clean off my desk here?

34:47And it's going to take like 30 seconds. So I say a micro commitment is usually something five minutes or less, a minute or less, or I want to meditate. Okay, can I just meditate for 30 seconds? Then I can quit after that. And when you set it up, again, you get into action and momentum generates motivation. Once I'm in momentum, once you're doing something, you'll tend to want to keep doing it. So you just follow it up with another can I just, can I just meditate for another 30 seconds or a minute? And after the key thing, first of all, give yourself permission to quit because that's part of it is if you don't do it, it's still a success.

35:18So that way it's not a force. It's not a have to, it's a choose to do. But also once you're doing it, you'll tend to want to keep doing it a little bit more and you're taking these stepping stones. So it's like, can I just meditate for again, you know, 30 seconds, another 30 seconds. Well, now I've done it for a minute. Let me see if I can get to the two minute mark. Now I've done it for two minutes. Well, you know what? Let me just see if I can hit five minutes, right? And you're incrementally doing it. And what happens when you do this, you never activate the fight or flight response. That's like, this is overwhelming.

35:48I can't handle this because you've made it so small. You don't allow for as much of the fear or the resistance to creep in. This is especially powerful for entrepreneurs, not just to like get started with something, but also for one of the biggest challenges for high achievers is the perfectionism trap and the needing something to be good quality. So I use Can I Just and I teach it to a lot of entrepreneurs who, you know, they're working on a book or they're shooting videos or they're doing something and it's that whole, whether they're conscious of it or not, that desire for it to be good tends to keep them procrastinating or holding off.

36:28Whereas it's like, okay, can I just record a two-minute video and I can delete it after I'm done and I don't even have to show anyone and it can totally suck, right? Can I just write five headlines and they can all suck. I don't need to use any of them. just five crappy headlines. And I believe it was Tim Ferriss talked about like, just write two crappy pages, right? And the idea is the can I just, it's not just a small action. It's also giving yourself permission for it to not be any good. And when you do that, you open up the door to get started, get in momentum and turn something that's crappy into something that's better into something that's decent into something that's good into something that's great into something that's excellent.

37:05Because it's almost always an evolution. I believe it's T.R. Becker. Every master was once a disaster. So you give yourself permission to get started and work on it and then improve through progression. Every master was once a disaster. I love that. I've got more ways to strengthen your willpower this year coming up right after this. So last month, it was time to replace the air filter in the car, which is about the level of vehicle maintenance I'm qualified to do. So I Google up the part number. I find this random store that is selling it. And then to my absolute delight, I see that they're running on Shopify.

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39:21Let's make this the season where no opportunity and no customer slips away. Try Quo for free, plus get 20 % off your first six months when you go to Quo.com slash side hustle. that's quo q u o dot com slash side hustle quo no missed calls no missed customers yeah that absolutely i was working on some it's like these habits that are you know almost too small to fail i'm going to do one push up i'm going to floss one tooth and once you're in there hopefully you do a little bit more and you know build some momentum there the one way that i was tracking that was in the form of like a 30-day challenge okay can i do this every day for 30 days i don't want to break Like the streak, I found that to be sometimes effective, sometimes not.

40:02But I don't know, like you work with clients on kind of a challenge framework or a deadline framework like this used to work for when I used to run. I was like, well, I got a 10K coming up. I better actually do this. So I got a half marathon coming up. I better actually stick to the training schedule, something like that. Yeah, I personally love challenges and deadlines. And this, again, it could be a personality type of thing. And it could also be a some people might thrive more in challenges if it's something that they feel pretty competent at. So I have some speculation around that. Certainly, I found for myself and a number of people that I work with that having a challenge and that deadline can really, again, it's like the right dose of challenge, the right dose of stress improves, you know, we see it in the physical body, stress with exercise, stress with fasting, these different things can improve health in the right dose for the right people.

40:48And so when you find that just the right deadline to be like, okay, now it's real. Like I can't just put it off indefinitely that whole tomorrow versus today thing. It's like you now have a reason to do it today. I found that a recent speaking competition that I signed up for, now all of a sudden I have an opportunity to speak in front of meeting planners. I have an opportunity to win something. I have a deadline that I got to have a speech done by. Like all of these things came together and then I worked harder on that than I'd ever worked before on my speaking. and it happened in music school with a music composition challenge.

41:24Okay. Okay. Yeah. I mean, challenges can work great for the right people. Yeah. If you're working on a book, like set the launch date and then work backwards to get it done by then. That's what I ended up doing with buy buttons, which otherwise probably still wouldn't have come out. The more recent deadline was our second son being born. So it's like, okay, I want to have a couple months worth of podcast buffer by that deadline. So yeah, deadlines can be really helpful. In fact, I need to probably utilize that little hack a little bit more to move some other projects forward. One thing about deadlines that's great.

41:52So, we talked about there's external deadlines, which could be like a race or a competition or something that someone else has set up. What you did is think proactively, how can I set a deadline for myself? And you might tell some friends or you might announce to your audience, I'm going to have my book out by such and such date. And then now you're accountable. Yeah. Where do you see people failing on this stuff? I mean, it's all good and you give it some great little tweaks and hacks and stuff that we can do and actually some stuff that I'm going to implement as well. But like, where do you see people kind of falling off track, either clients of yours or otherwise?

42:23The great thing about something like Can I Just is it's set up to be fail proof. When you give yourself something small enough to do, you will get into action. You will start to shift things. And it has an incredible success rate. Yet there's still two things that if they're missing from the equation will still cause a person to fail. Now, it could be more than two things, but it's typically chunks up into one of these two things. The first thing is simple and yet easy to potentially overlook is having a reminder. So if you look at the power of habit, Charles Duhigg, all habits have the cue, the routine, and the reward.

43:02The cue is the trigger. And in the case of creating a habit, you got to go, well, how am I going to remember to do this now, right? How am I going to actually, if I'm doing something new, that's not part of my daily routine, what's going to get me to remember to do it, even if it's easy enough to do? So in that case, you want to make sure you have something that's going to remind you to do it. That could be the person wanting to floss. Maybe they need to put the floss right in their sink or right in front of them where they can't miss it. Many people, it's going to be scheduling things, putting it on a calendar, sometimes cell phone reminders, sticky notes, whatever it is.

43:38I often find for many people, it's not that it's too difficult. It's just they would forget about it. So the key thing is what's your reminder, find what works for you. And then the other big thing is that if you again, look at that three-part process, cue, routine, reward, what will throw some people off is the frame that it's not that big of a deal. Or yeah, I did. I wrote these two crappy pages, but so what? Like, what's the big deal about that? I was talking to a friend who she wrote a book. She overcame so many challenges to write this book. And then the first thought that came up was like, yeah, but some people have written like five books.

44:14So what's the big deal? It's this tendency for the mind to like, it overplays it while you're trying to do it. And it seems like this daunting task. And then it underplays it after it's done when it really needs to be the opposite. You need to underplay it when you're getting into it, be like, ah, this is no big deal. And then when you're done, be like, that's amazing that I did that. That's amazing that I wrote two pages or that I wrote five headlines or that I recorded this 30 second video when I didn't feel like doing anything. It's allowing yourself to soak in a sense of accomplishment. If all you did was 30 seconds of meditation or you read a, you know, two pages of a business book or whatever it is, you got to give yourself some credit for that in order for there to be that reward, that dopamine release, and that sense of this is a win and I want to keep getting more wins.

44:59That's how the neurology is set up where when you get that sense of accomplishment, you want to keep doing it. And the way to negate that is to just downplay it and be like, yeah, but it wasn't that big of a deal. So make sure you own your wins, own your successes. And a reward doesn't have to be like, I'm going to go out and buy something. You could just be like, yes, you know, a little fist pump or something that gets you that sense of like, I did something, this is great. And that success will tend to breed more success. Sure. And sometimes the reward is, you know, if you're doing the streaks or the 30-day challenge is just checking the box off.

45:29Like, hey, I got that done today. It's amazing. That little thing is that like check dopamine release. Cool. I don't want to break the streak. I want to get my next streak tomorrow. And that's all it takes to start to build that habit. Derek, what's next for you? You got a ton of stuff going on. I'm curious, what are you working on these days? So my few things, I'll have an upcoming book coming out, but I don't know the name of it yet. Basically 90 daily tips and reflections and things to help transform a person's mindset. And I love speaking for audiences and getting my NLP trainer certification coming up in a couple months.

46:04I'm a master practitioner coach, but getting into training along with a number of other things, got a upcoming podcast. So, you can look out for Influencing Millions podcast coming out. All sorts of stuff, man. Really appreciate you joining me. You can check Derek out at excuseproof.com slash side hustle nation, where you can grab a free copy of the healthy habit revolution audio book. Really appreciate you putting that offer together for us. That's excuseproof.com slash side hustle nation. And let's wrap this thing up with your number one tip for side hustle nation. Don't have to be habit related, just for whatever entrepreneurial wisdom you'd like to impart.

46:39One of the things that made the biggest difference for me and my business. And as well as when it came to health and all these things, as we've been talking about willpower, which is very much the discipline approach and can have a connotation around doing things that might not feel like doing. What I really found had the biggest impact and breakthrough in my life was when I did something that I really found fun and enjoyable. And so my, it's a simple thing that sometimes we need to be reminded of it. Quick example with health, running on a treadmill would not be fun. I never would have developed the exercise habit if exercise to me meant mindlessly running on a treadmill.

47:19Instead, exercise was going to the gym, lifting weights, and seeing how can I beat my previous best. It was going to a beach and working out with friends and challenging each other to competitions. Business was writing and sharing things with people that I was passionate about and excited about. And the things that would keep me up at night from an excitement standpoint, from a creativity standpoint would be things that I had a passion for and that were fun. So as much as willpower is a part of the equation, I believe, you know, there are times in business and in life where we got to do things that we don't enjoy.

47:52I also say, look at the things that really light you up where it doesn't feel like you have to use so much willpower for where you actually get energy. You love to do it and find ways to do more of that because your creativity will get ignited, will get unleashed, and you'll be able to put so much more into it that I just willpower can't necessarily, you know, if I try to just force myself to write a book about something I didn't care about, I could get it done. But would it really be a powerful transformational piece of work? I doubt it. So give yourself some permission to do things that you absolutely love and that you're passionate about.

48:28Yeah, I've had those same projects that sit on the to-do list for weeks and weeks or months or sometimes even years, you know, these half finished projects on the hard drive. It's like if that's the case, like that's probably a sign that you didn't care about it that much in the first place. Make it fun. Make it exciting. That kind of transforms it from a have to do to a get to do. And that's a really powerful thing to, like you said, have more and more energy for these projects and stuff that we want to get done. Derek, really appreciate you joining me. once again, excuseproof.com. Hit up excuseproof.com slash side hustle nation to grab a free audiobook version of the healthy habit revolution.

48:59I really liked it. I think you'll get a kick out of it as well. Appreciate you joining me. We'll catch up with you soon. I was going through my inbox to prep for next week's episode, which is a listener Q &A show. And one of the most frustrating emails I get is the, I'll call it the, I don't have any skills email as in, you know, all that sounds great, but I don't have any skills. And at certain points in my life, I felt the same way, but here's the thing. Even though I really doubt you don't have any skills, you have the ability, and if you're listening to this, probably the drive to learn new ones.

49:30All right, my top takeaways from this call with Derek. Number one, environment is stronger than willpower. So this whole episode was about willpower, but maybe one of the most effective ways to practice it is to not force yourself to have to. You know, you want to eat clean? Don't keep junk food in the house. You don't want to drink? Don't meet your friends at the bar. You want to start an exercise habit? Hire a personal trainer and put it on the calendar. Business-wise, maybe that means having a dedicated workspace that's free from distractions. Maybe that means setting up a mastermind with like-minded people.

49:59You probably heard the quote, you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And that can be really tough if the people closest to you in life aren't on board with whatever change you're trying to make. A couple of things you can do about that. First, you know, would be to put on your sales hat, as Derek suggested, and explain what you're trying to accomplish, why it's important to you and what's in it for them. I think most of the time you'll find people want to be supportive. Now, the other thing is if you can't change your physical environment and surroundings, you can change your virtual one.

50:27You're already doing that by listening to podcasts like this. You can also join communities or Facebook groups that lift you up and support you. A few years ago, I didn't have a great entrepreneurial network locally. Almost all my best friends in real life are employees. So I set out to find my people online and I think it made a big impact. So here's a spot to plug the Side Hustle Nation Facebook group, SideHustleNation.com slash FB. We'll get you over there. Definitely an awesome, supportive community of people who are kind of in the same boat as you. Takeaway number two is momentum generates motivation.

50:56So that means start small. I think a common failure point is trying to make a complete life, you know, 180 overnight and start dozens of brand new different habits. And it's just not sustainable. So pick and choose maybe one to three keystone habits to focus on for the first month. And you can position it as a 30-day challenge. So challenge yourself to complete those. And then once they're established, you branch out into others. Which ones are most important to you? Remember Derek's can I just framework? Can I just do one proactive thing for my business today? Can I just do 10 kettlebell swings?

51:26Can I just avoid processed food and refined sugars? Momentum generates motivation. And takeaway number three is nobody's perfect all the time. You know, relaxed. Everything in moderation, including moderation. You don't want to be the kid at the birthday party who can't have the cake, but you also don't want to be at a birthday party every single day. Remember, in the words of Jimmy Buffett, don't talk about tomorrow, tonight. I love the now. Nobody is perfect all the time. Once again, notes and links for this episode are at sidehustlenation.com slash willpower. Big thanks to Derek for joining me.

51:56And again, big thanks to my brother, Chris, for the inspiration for this episode. You can check him out at becomingbetter.org. That's it for me. Thank you so much for tuning in. Until next time, let's go out there and make something happen. And I'll catch you in the next edition of the Side Hustle Show. I'll see you then. Hustle on.