Rosalind Eleazar | The Hidden Side of Colombia

0:03Welcome to Travel Secrets with me Tanya Rose, the podcast sharing wisdom for fellow travelers. Each week, I ask my guests to reveal their six travel secrets and the holidays and adventures that surround them. I would just like to say thank you to Mason Rose, the sales and communication agency that represents some of the finest hotels around the world for partnering with Travel Secrets the podcast.

0:33Today, my guest is the lovely British Ghanaian actress Rosalind Elazar. It's famed for so many wonderful things, but most recently for Slow Horses and Missing You, which you were sensational in. I watched one episode and then sat up all night binging all five. And if you haven't watched it, listeners, you have to watch it. It is absolutely fantastic. We went to the same school, Gordonstone. We did. Many, many years apart. But I'm so pleased to meet a fellow OG, as we're called. The famous school. And I had a fantastic time and I'm sure you did too. Yeah. I can't wait to hear your travel secrets.

1:11Welcome, lovely Ros. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you. Before we get into your travel secrets, perhaps you can just tell us a little bit about yourself and how travel has impacted you. Did you travel when you were long? Let's just talk about travel and you and tell us about yourself. Yeah, I think I had a sort of unusual upbringing in the sense that my mum travelled a lot for work and she was a single mother. As you mentioned, I'm British Ghanaian and my father lived in Ghana. So it was really just my mother and myself. And so a lot of my holidays were actually spent going on business trips with her.

1:49So some of my earliest memories are of Karachi, Pakistan. You know, we'd spend a lot of time there or Malaysia or Japan and Greece because it was the company that she still works for. You know, bless her, she's 75 now. She's still going strong. She worked for the same company for 56 years. is a Greek shipping company. So a lot of my time was spent in Greece. And for me really is, I was going to say my second home, but in some ways I sort of feel like it's my first home and that's where I sort of feel the most at ease and most comfortable. And my godparents are Greek and my mom has a place there.

2:38and even so much that I call my, I used to call my grandmother Yaya, which is the Greek word for grandmother. Or I used to call her Yaya because I couldn't, I couldn't do the Greek accent when I was, when I, when I was younger or how to pronounce it properly. So I think for me, travel is, is one of the most important things in, in, in my life. And I can't really say that, Although we lived in London, I never really spent that much time in London. I was always somewhere else in the world experiencing new cultures. And of course, let's not forget Ghana, which I went to every year. So I've experienced many, many different cultures from a very young age.

3:29and a lot of my mother's friends are from all different places. There's not a set group. They're not predominantly British. They're from all over the world. So I feel like I grew up in quite a multicultural society. Even if some of them did live in the UK, they were from, as I said, Malaysia. How wonderful. What a great way to grow up. Amazing. do you speak greek i i should speak more than i do but i was quite shy when i was young um so i would listen i understand the majority of greek but speak i'm fine when you know i can get by um but i can say yasu uso um i think arabi more means i love you because i think my first greek my first kiss or something was a greek boy and you know they they i think it is arabi more That's my darling.

4:26Oh, my darling. Something like that. And actually, I read a hilarious thing about you having your first kiss with a Greek boy. That was really funny. Yes. Yes. My first, a lot of my kisses have been on the islands of Greece. I think they all probably are as we grow up, aren't they? How fabulous. That's wonderful. Let's get into your travel secrets then. So what is the number one destination you think everyone should go to once in their lifetime? I found this question so hard. I felt like I was cheating on all the different countries. I was picking the wrong one. And, you know, I'd probably say Colombia.

5:02I spent a year in Central and South America. I was studying Spanish and Chinese at… As you do. As you do. As you do. At university. And so I spent a long time there. And I really fell in love with the culture and the music and the people and the food and the landscape. But Colombia was a country that I didn't go to. because at that time, like a lot of parents, I would imagine they, you know, they didn't want you to go to what they thought was quite a dangerous country. Yeah. And so about five years ago, I went with my husband and my mom couldn't say anything to me anymore. Too old. Yeah, I'm too old I'm I'm going there and I was just so taken aback by how different it was to what I I had imagined it would be um particularly Medellin or Medellin which you know they say Medellin but however you want to pronounce it um you know this that that particular city was I think the murder the capital of the world was it at one point and obviously it was home to Pablo Escobar and and all the the drug related problems that they had at that time um but I was I was particularly surprised about how much they the people of Colombia have completely transformed their narrative into a really positive, new, vibrant experience that you have when you're there.

7:01And there's this particular place called Comuna 13, which was probably the most dangerous part of Colombia. And it's high up on the hills. And you sort of take a bus up there. And is it slightly a tourist trap now? Maybe. but when I went it was still it still was sort of okay um and you're you're taken around by a local resident that lives there rather than you know a tour guide that and they explain to you that the history of the violence that they've experienced and they've they've they've changed this place where it still has you know some bullet holes around it it's great I can't wait to go there into this really electric place and it's you know had so much art and and music and green mango ice cream with lime and salt which is a delicacy of of comuna 13 but also large you know colombia itself you know you have the salento coffee area and you learn about how you know how the production of coffee from from bean to cup and the way that they they drink it and the way that they produce it and all sorts of those things and and and Tyrone a national park which was um one of the most beautiful national parks that I've I've I think I've ever been to and you sort of do a three-hour trek in the jungle and as I said I went with my my partner and you sort of park at the beginning of the park and you take this wonderful walk through this park with lots of monkeys and birds and all sorts of things.

9:00And then you go past little beaches on your way to the final location, which is called La Piscina, which is just the most incredible beach and water that you could ever imagine. But anyway, so we trekked for three hours and my partner has a habit of breaking something on whatever holiday that we're on. Yes. There's always something that happens to him. And on this particular trip, we got off and we finally made it to Lapicina and he rolled on his ankle and he completely sprained it. And there's no way that you can... Get in or out. There's no way you can get in or out. And we silly, I don't know why, we didn't bring any money into the jungle because we didn't think we needed any money to be in the jungle.

9:49What are you going to do with money in the jungle? So, you know, he's sort of in so much pain and I'm sort of running around seeing if I could find some ice. Yeah, just something. And eventually, you know, someone helped us and they put him on a horse back to the, back to the, but I didn't, we didn't have, we didn't have any money. So they were doing that as a favor. So I was sprinting behind this horse. So he was on a horse. I was sprinting behind him and I've got asthma. And I was just like, and I was so tired. Can you imagine that? This is three hours back. Obviously on the horse, it's a lot quicker, but it's not much quicker with me behind.

10:35And we finally got back. And actually, to be fair, halfway through me, just wheezing my way through the jungle, which was really humid someone said would you like a horse I was like yes I would like could you not go on the back no I can because of the way he was sitting because of his leg it was just so it was it was it was hilarious and then I had to drive him to the I mean and also driving in Colombia I'm not that comfortable to driving in in in foreign countries and he was sort of the designated driver and I had to take over I had to take over and it was petrifying but it was really you know it was I think you're very brave I I think I think I think that outward bound training that you got at Gordonstone came into use yes yes exactly I was going to ask you your next question which is what's your most unexpected travel experience which could probably be that as well but anyway well do you know what funnily enough it it sort of is is is related to to that I think obviously, you know, going to a school like we went to, it's an incredible experience.

11:49And I think that boarding schools generally get a pretty bad reputation. And particularly our school, thanks to the crown, really stamped on that. And, you know, boarding school is not for everyone. And a lot of people have experienced not fantastic things, which I could also, you know, argue that a lot of people at different schools have experienced, you know, they haven't had the best of time. As I said earlier, because my mother travelled so much for work, we sort of felt like the the potential of a boarding school might be a good option for us um and and I was the only child although I have siblings on my father's side I was essentially an only child and it was just me and her and and I think she felt that it would have been nice to be around other people of my own age um and yeah but I you know at the end of the day I I, I, I begrudgingly went up there and you have to sort of spend three days there, um, sitting your exams.

13:06And I, and at that point I really didn't want to go to, to a boarding school. I wanted to be with my mother. Um, and so the very first day I, I, I was determined to not get into the school. So I flunked the, I flunked the exams. I, I pretended I didn't know what two plus two was and I said that was five and that's how my my whole first day of exams went and I was up there at the time because I was just trying to get a scholarship there which I ended up luckily getting um and so the next day I was walking around this school and you know it really is like Hogwarts um and I I sort of fell in love with the with the with the school and and so then And I was trying really hard on my exams the next day.

13:52To make it up. To make it up because I knew I wouldn't, you know, my first day of exams. But having said that, I would say that our school is more focused on outward bound than it is on academics. I was going to say, when I went, I didn't even have to do an exam. It was like, oh, you're a girl. Yes, you're in. Yeah, because you were the first. Yes, first cohort of girls going there. So there were sort of five boys to every one girl. So you had a really good time. Even if you're a real dog, everyone's like, yay, there's a girl here. Marvellous. I had a fabulous time. And I did not want to go. My father showed me on the map where it was.

14:26And I was like, what have I done wrong? Oh, my goodness. And my sister and I went up for our interview. And we saw all these boys in their kilts and their shorts. And I thought, no, this is wonderful. Marvellous. This is right up my street. Right. But you're right. It is more about the whole person. And I think that is what is fantastic about it. Yeah. It finds what you're good at. And it really helps grow your confidence in that. completely and I think that the the the ethos of the school which is sort of centered around um community service and and and um you know all of us had to join a service and I was part of the the coast guards and we would you know we would literally go out and search for people that had gone gone missing off the coast so you did all the abseiling things like that very yeah yeah and you know and but you know it was something that we did often was checking in the cairngorms in Scottish Highlands and I think before before then you know my experience of travel had always been in uh hot countries and and and and by the beach and I'd never really explored much of uh the UK and and so I think I was I was really overwhelmed with the beauty of the of the Scottish Highlands.

15:46And we were so lucky that we regularly would spend three or four days camping and walking and camping and walking and camping. So I think for me, that was probably quite a pivotal moment, you know, in my life, like my love of walking. It comes from where? It comes from there and, yeah. Being at one with nature. Yes, fantastic. Exactly. You know, just little things like, you know, filling up your water bottle, you know, from the stream and seeing wildlife, you know, walking right by you on where you're camping. And obviously we were all a big group of friends and it was, you know, it was really fun just cooking frozen peas.

16:32It really was great fun. And those cold water baths, showers, jumping into the North Sea on cruise. nowadays you know if you go to the hairdresser they say would you like a cold roots I say no thank you I've done that cold water plunging no no I've done that five years of my life don't need to do it anymore oh gosh I mean it must have yeah that was the cold cold runs we I think when by the time I'd got there that we didn't do that anymore I think I probably had an easier experience yes the boys actually had to do it with no tops on even in the snow when I was there we were very lucky we wrapped our duvets around us got ticked off and then my back went to bed but anyway it is a marvelous place and scotland is so beautiful there is the most beautiful hotel that's opened um called the fife arms have you heard of that so it is so beautiful oh gosh really is you want to go back to scotland that's my top i was actually just i was just there last three days ago in um Aberfeldy.

17:31Oh, were you? Were you filming there? No, I, I, no, I wasn't. I went with a group of friends who, um, were all fishing. Oh, lovely. And it was my, my first experience, my first and last experience, because I found the whole thing really, really traumatic. And, and of course I was, you know, these are keen fishermen that I went with and, um, it was my first time. And of course I was the only one that caught a bloody fish and I absolutely. Did you put it back? Yeah. I was like oh this is not for me I don't know how anyone can do this this is just not a sport and I was crying I was crying my eyes out when I saw this thing but we were we were in um Aberfeldy and you know it just Scotland in general is one of my favorite favorite places to visit and And a place that I just, there's always something to do.

18:27And it holds a very, very special place in my heart because I spent five years there. Mine too. It really does. What is your most underrated or overrated travel experience? I was filming in Atlanta, Georgia about four years ago. And I spent about four months there. um and i had an an image of what i thought atlanta would be or you know a city in america and a bit like what i was explaining about with medellin that um it has it has it's a city that has an incredible amount of history to it and it has sort of reinvented itself and there is an there is a an energy and a buzz to the city and it feels incredibly new in in a way and that anything is possible in this city i it almost feels like utopia it felt like utopia to me and it's it's it's called the city in the forest because and that's another thing i i didn't i didn't have any clue that it would be so green this city i i i am i had i thought it was you know an industrial city yeah um and obviously because of where atlanta is situated situated it sort of connects the south to the to the to the rest of america so it's perfectly situated um so a lot of what's the word transport it's a transport hub um but they have transformed the the rail lines into a lot of the route lines called the belt line, which has now become pedestrianized.

20:32So it connects, I think, 40 or 50 neighborhoods together. So you're able to walk. Otherwise, you're traveling on the highway to get to all these neighborhoods. But it has such an incredible art scene. The music, you know, the jazz music, and obviously the civil rights history, that's the birthplace of Martin Luther King. But I think I was expecting something else. And there's not a whole bunch of American cities that I, anytime I go to somewhere new, I go, oh, do you think I could live here? Could I live here? And Atlanta for me felt like a city that I really could live in. Really interesting.

21:19And it was such a wonderful mix of people. um it reminded a bit of not of london in a way i i love the mix that we have um in london and i don't know whether it's because i'm i'm mixed race you know uh that wherever i i go i can i sort of stick out a little bit and you know when i went to places like brazil or a lot of places in south america i didn't and it was such a new experience to me because everyone sort of have had the exact same skin color so I I I feel more at home and in in places that have a you know cosmopolitan yeah that have a good mixing let's say so yeah I I think I think and and the people of Atlanta are very proud of who they are um and the transformation that they've had um and I think that any sort of place is made by the people and it really has a beating heart that has been created by the people that that that lived there so it feels very rooted in their history but with this incredibly alive energy to it interesting I've never been I always think of Atlanta Georgia as gone with the wind yeah isn't that where it was Atlanta burning down yeah I haven't ever been did you ever live in ghana actually i did live in ghana i lived um i lived in ghana after i finished university i i i moved to ghana for two years um and i was working with my brother who's um who's a film director and that's a production company and i was working behind the camera with him um and And to be honest, I thought I was ready to live there.

23:21I absolutely fell in love with a country that I, to be honest, I didn't really know very well. And my love for the country grew over the years. But when I was young, I didn't really want to go there. And that had a lot to do with my relationship with my father, which is part to do with another one of your questions.

23:47but I think it's very important for people that have roots in different countries, or one of your parents are from another country, to visit it, and if you can, live there, because obviously living somewhere and visiting it, you have a completely different experience, But Ghana is an incredibly open and hospitable country. And the people are so friendly and warm and happy in many ways. you know there is there is the ghana or the africa let's say because obviously all countries in ghana um in africa sort of lumped together and and and and the narrative of africa is this sort of poverty stricken uh continent which is obviously partly true but it's not the whole story And I think if people went to, let's say, Ghana, they would be quite shocked at how different the country is to what they've been told.

25:05And everyone is really proud to be Ghanaian. And again, it reminds me of something, there's something that's happening in this country, which I felt, like I said, in Atlanta. And there's a change of narrative that's happening. I think I had Simon Sebag Montefiore on the podcast, who's a friend, who's a historian, and he absolutely loves it. And he said, look, I'm even wearing my belt from Ghana. had his gone about really lovely colors and things yeah he adored it there yeah and it's it's it and it is it's and and you know the the these places have such a rich music history and and music and and dances is the same as eating for let's say us you know if music is is on and and you sort of don't dance it's sort of like what's happening are you didn't you work on the x factor over there I worked on The X Factor when I was there.

26:10Were you a judge? I wasn't. No, I wasn't. I was a producer. I was a producer. Oh, God, that was really, really fun. That was a really fun time. And also that was a fun time for me because I was connecting to my family, who I knew but I didn't really know that well. How brilliant. So let's go on to food and drink. You're talking about dancing and food and drink. Food and drink is so part of our lives and part of travel. What do you like eating? Where do you like eating? What's your best meal, your best drink? Let's just talk about food and drink in travel. Yeah, I mean, I think I just food and drink.

26:50That is just the most important thing in my life to me. And I'm a very keen cook and I cook a lot of Greek food because that's what I was brought up on. My mother is a fantastic cook. And as I said, I spend a lot of time in Greece. So I'm very familiar with that cuisine. And lucky for me, my husband's Italian. So his cooking is top notch. Fantastic. Top notch. And we've obviously spent a lot of time in Italy in recent years discovering different places. But I think for me, when I when when mum was sometimes on these business trips, particularly when I was when I was older and she didn't, you know, I wasn't like four anymore and she didn't take me on the holidays.

27:43And she sort of wanted me to be with with people my own age and just have a proper sort of summer holiday. her closest friends had a house in the island of spetsas um which is in the saronic islands saronic islands is right next to hedra oh yeah beautiful and um i would spend my summers with them and they had this beautiful very simple house and there was about probably they had a huge family there were about 30 of us well 30 of them um and i would be dropped off at the beginning of of summer and and it they had this beautiful outside courtyard with a very old sort of built-in barbecue and it was under a pergola uh with like lemon lemon groves and it was about you know a five minute walk to the beach.

28:43Um, but the, you know, the one thing that was, I guess, hard for me was that I did want to be, to be with my mother. Um, but she would come for two weeks. I think it was just about two weeks of, of, of, of the, of the summer holidays. And so it was sort of, um, uh, a whole ritual that would happen when she, when she would arrive and spets is an island where you there are no cars allowed so you you walk um or there are also horse and carriage um and obviously there are some some taxis and but only only certain amounts of taxis are allowed on the island and now you can like moped around um so when we when when we when i knew my mom was coming my auntie eleni would take me to where the ship would dock.

29:41And we would be there so early because I was so excited. And the foghorn would start going and you knew that the ship was just coming around the bend. And I was standing on the jetty, just patiently waiting for this ship to arrive and for the, what do you call the thing that comes down? But the thing that comes down and then you just see this onslaught of people coming off the ship. And it was mayhem. You know, Greek ports are just manic and very, very hectic. And I'd be looking for her through the crowds. And eventually I would see my mom coming up and I would speed towards her. And it was just a really, it was a really beautiful moment for me.

30:30And it was, and I would be so happy anyway. So we would get her onto the horse and carriage. We would always take a horse and carriage back to Auntie Eleni's house. There was this tradition that when my mom arrived and we went back to Auntie Eleni and Uncle Elias' house, that Auntie Eleni had cooked uvezi. and uvezi is um a slow cooked beef in a tomato sort of stew with nutmeg and and and cinnamon and all sorts of things about three or four hours and then later it's mixed with orzo um and for me that was probably a a dish that i i now i can you make it but i i associate it with my mother my mom's arrival um and and and and my auntie would always put that on and it was just this sort of wonderful event and the whole family would sit around this table and you know mom would be next to me and I just even now it just makes me a bit tearful because it was it was when I felt most at at peace and I was just so happy um and obviously Greek cuisine just I I I don't think there's a better cuisine obviously my husband begs to differ he's like i'm sorry i think i think it's universally agreed that italian food is is the best and and to be honest italian food and now later later on in in my life we've actually been exploring italy a lot more um and where's from in Italy?

32:13Bologna. Oh, fantastic. The city of food, isn't it? Exactly. Exactly. And, um, they have this wonderful dish in, in Bologna, which is, um, gramigna with, which is a type of pasta with, with sausage, sausage ragu, um, in this, there was this restaurant that we went to that was called Miloncello, I think, where they just make this incredible, this incredible ragu. And actually, in some ways, it sort of reminded me of my, this experience with your mom. Yeah. And I remember being so happy sitting opposite this time, you know, so in love. And I generally like quite simple food in the sense that I don't like too many things messed with natural ingredients if you've got good produce you don't need to doctor it up too much um but we do have you know if we've got tomatoes from here you better hope that you put you put some different things in it um but if you have good produce you know you don't really need to do much in this particular dish um that the sausage ragu reminded me of the uvezi and I was sitting with Gabriel and I just remember being so in love in his hometown and he was taking me around and we're both massive, massive foodies.

33:43So a lot of our trips will be decided on where you're going to go. Yeah, where we're going to eat. And obviously we're very lucky with Bologna. But I was going to say, Charles Dance was on this podcast and he loves Bologna. He said there's a whole road which is just food yeah and I've never been to Bologna but he said you have got to go what is your best travel tip I find to not plan too much I think you should have the bare bones of your trip but you know I I think you should have leeway I you know when when I've been in countries that for example Medellin I really really didn't want to leave the city for some reason I wanted to stay and you sort of feel oh well I'm in Colombia so I I have to go and see another place I have to go to Cali I have to go do salsa in Cali and we made the decision to leave and it really bugged us it really really annoyed us and I made that mistake again I mean we were in the island of Sifnos have you been to Sifnos and oh gosh it is that is very high up on my list of places that people have to visit.

34:59Is that Greece? Yeah, that's Greece. That's in the Cyclades, the Cyclades Island. And when you're sort of Greek island hopping, you feel like, you know, you've got these two weeks, I must spend three days there and then I have to go here and then I have to go there. And again, we left and we went to this wonderful island called Milos, but we didn't want to leave Sifnos. We so wanted to explore more of it. So I think that would be one of my my top tips if you if you want to stay in a place um obviously it depends what length of trip you have stay there um and explore and enjoy exactly and also I think that's something that I find quite useful is when you when you do sort of touchdown in these places is to go there are lots of free walking tours and I don't know what the difference is with a free walking tour what why free walking tours are more I have found more interesting than a paid walking tour by the way obviously on these freed walking tours you you you tip at the end and it works out it's the same but there's something about when you first get to a place getting your bearings and someone by foot you know by foot you're understanding the culture and a little bit of the the history I think that's something that Gabs and I have recently sort of do quite a bit.

36:25We do quite a long walking expedition. And obviously for us, we're just incredibly guided by restaurants. And he's fantastic at that. And he actually gets a lot of tips from Reddit. Oh, does he? Yeah. Really? Interesting. Yeah. And he's sort of never wrong with where we've gone. So that must, that must really work. That's a good travel tip. Yeah. Read it. Absolutely. So what is your most poignant travel experience or travel? Yeah, I think, as I said that, you know, I lived, I lived in Ghana for a couple of years after I went to uni. But before that, I had a sort of strange relationship with the country.

37:15And there was one particular trip that I went. And my dad said to me, would you like to come to my home village where I was born? It's about three hours away. And I said, OK, fine. Fine, if you want me to go. And we got to this place, which is called Keta, which is the Volta region. and it's a tribe called, it's the Airway Tribe. There are about 87 or 8, I can't remember, like 80 different languages in Ghana, although English, most people speak English, but there are 87 different tribal languages depending on where you're from. And Qatar is right on the border of Togo. And interesting, you know when you do that DNA test or something?

38:13Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had 49 % Togo and Benin rather than Ghanaian, which I thought was so interesting. And I think it's because we're right on the border. And my father took me to his home village. And I met the extended family, you know, like great uncles and all these sorts of people. And we were all sitting on the beach because it's on the beach. And it's this beautiful, beautiful, beautiful beach. and the sun was sort of setting and the fishing boats were coming back in. And everyone in the community come and help pulling the fishing boats back in. So we pulled the fishing boats and my father said, come on, get in the water.

39:02We will pull the fishing boats back on. They're these beautiful, really old boats that have really unusual names like Patience and Grace, usually quite religious names or um or what have you and the the fisherman came off and my family are there and my father's there and and he asked me because he was a brilliant musician and he was he could sing very well and he was a very good actor as well um and he asked if i could do you know do you want to sing with me and i said yes well sure he said do you know lean on me and I said yeah I do know lean on me so we we just stood up and started singing lean on me and we were just on the beach and it was just sort of kind of strangely beautiful and and then and then people started drumming just started drumming on the beach and my father started my father got up and started doing a dance that's called the agbaja which is a traditional airway tribe dance um and I was very shy and I was really embarrassed because you know everyone can dance there just everyone can dance there and I just was so scared to look like an idiot um because it's a very subtle movement this dance and and you can look like a chicken if you don't know how to do it and I really didn't want to look like a chicken in front of my family in the wider community and I did get up and I did look like a chicken it was fine and everyone I did but they're all like oh Rosaline look at you or you you can't dance or I was like oh god this is so frustrating I have to learn how to do this dance how wonderful and these and these and these fishermen had brought fresh lobster they'd caught fresh lobster so we were sitting on this beach and we just cooked the lobster on the beach um and we had a bit of lemon and a bit of you know and and we just there and after that we I you know I had a journey back to the capital with my father and it it was as I said it was a three-hour journey and and on that three hour I on the way I didn't actually share a car with him I went down separately and on the way back I I shared a car with him and that car journey and obviously the the experience that I had had in his home village was such an incredibly pivotal moment for me and him and it completely changed our relationship and his love for Ghana he was um a politician and I realized I think his his first love was probably Ghana more than anything else and and his vision for Ghana um and how much I learned from him in that short space of time about the culture and about the people and and he said to me that I would love what are you doing after university like what are your plans he's like well why don't you come and live here come and live with me come and live with the family and and and understand where you come from and and and be a part of the community and but it was poignant because that was the last time I ever saw him alive and he he he had prostate cancer and and and and he actually died the following year but it's after that moment you know we spoke every day and it was such a it was such a bittersweet end to our story and I'm so happy that I was I I managed to have one I managed to have that experience with him it matters to me and and I knew it mattered to him and um that is the most lovely story yeah how wonderful I'm so sorry that he did die a year afterwards but how wonderful you had that magical moment and that he wanted you to go and spend time with the family and then you did yeah and then I did and I did it without him and and obviously I I honored that and I and I went to I and I got to know even my father through my siblings who obviously spent a lot of time with him um and it's a constant quest particularly if you don't know know your your father well I think what you what you mourn is the the possibility of what could have been rather than you know a bunch of memories that you you have it's what could have been so well I think that's a most beautiful story and thank you so much for sharing it and having watched Missing You last night you could have played that character or you did play that character very well because your father obviously wasn't part of your life.

43:44Very interesting. Well, that's wonderful. And I also asked you to bring a photograph. Did you bring any photographs? Yes. And can you tell us about the photo or the photograph and how, what does that mean in your life and about travel? I've picked a photo that there's actually no one in this photo that I know and it's of the crystal clear water of Spetsis Island with the rocks in front of it and you can just see the small opening to the wider sea and you can literally see the stones under the water with a boat just bobbing gently and a couple of people just dotted around in this incredibly calm water um and i've i've picked this photo because for me greece is my home and um i go there every single year without without fail um And particularly the Greek islands have, you know, represented a place that I have my happiest memories from the Greek people are just so unique and hospitable.

45:19and really adopted me as one of their own. And there's not a world in which I don't visit this country. It's a gorgeous photograph and I love Greece. It's such a wonderful place. Does your mother come with you to Greece still? She does. I mean, she goes at least like four times a year. I obviously, because of work and it's a little bit tricky to plan things, but she spends her five weeks she gets has five weeks and she goes to the island of Heos which is very close to the Turkish border but you know I don't generally go to that island I used to go to that island when I was when I was younger but Gabs and I sort of tend to go to different islands now and I and I think my ultimate when I was young I always my dream was that I'm going to I'm going to have a place on one of the Greek islands.