Still Bobbi: Bobbi Brown on Reinvention, Midlife Entrepreneurship & Finding Purpose After 60

22:11Dr. Mary Claire Haver:I love this part of the story because you're driving with your husband, you're going to do another makeup brand, and you figure out the name. Right. Well, all I cared about was launching this new company the day my non-compete was up. So when I left the corporation... Why is that? Why was that so important? Because when I left the company, I had four and a half years left on this non-compete. I don't do great when people say you can't do something. So I couldn't do anything in beauty. And four and a half years seemed like forever. And you know what? I would have my freedom for the first time. You know, I could literally tear up the piece of paper.

22:51I'd be done. And I wanted to launch it. The issues were it was a week before the presidential election in the middle of the pandemic. And everyone said, don't do it. Every PR firm, people we talked to said, you're crazy. Why don't you wait till January? I don't know. You remember what happened in January, like January 6th? Yeah. So there never would have been a good time. No. And I needed to do it. And, you know, I had the products because I had been working on them secretly. And but I didn't have a name. I don't have a name that that was available that we liked or everyone agreed on. And I was driving with my husband to our home in the Hamptons, of course, as I always do, complaining.

23:32How and how and when and how? And my husband said, you need to get this name by Monday or you're not going to be able to launch in time. And my head was down because my husband likes me to check Waze and Google Maps, God forbid, we're late five minutes to somewhere and we had nowhere to go. But my head was down and I see Jones Road. And I don't know why. I just blurted out Jones Road Beauty. And my husband said, I like it. And it was available. And that became the name.

24:00Dr. Mary Claire Haver:When I think about how I used to shop for makeup, I would go to, you know, based on my budget at the time, which was zero, I would go to the grocery store. I would go to the drugstore, which was Eckerd's or what is now CVS or Walgreens and wander through and then look at the makeup and say, oh, this looks nice or that looks nice. My children are 21 and 25 and they almost 100 % buy everything off of social media. They see a makeup artist using it. They see some product. They get influenced and then they buy. And you were on social media talking about your product. I remember that's how I found you.

24:42Dr. Mary Claire Haver:That's how I found Jones Road. It was served to me during the pandemic. And I thought, wow, that's Bobby Brown. What's this Jones Road stuff? And you were showing this like the miracle bomb and putting it on. And so I bought some for my sister for her birthday. And I'm like, I'll get it. I'll get some. I bought a tub too and had so much fun playing with it. And the first thing I thought was she made this for me. This is for women with drier skin. I never had oily skin before. And then menopause sucked all the oil out of my body, along with, you know, water and everything else. Did you though? I mean, were you focusing on a certain age when you built this?

25:24Dr. Mary Claire Haver:No, you know what? And this is the true story. I don't see age. Like, I don't think, oh, this is for this group. And I know we have a demographic that is our higher, you know, people that buy the makeup, but I don't see age. I just saw this amazing product that would look good on skin, that of course, it's a skincare and makeup in one. So if you remember during the pandemic, we didn't do anything, right? We didn't color our hair. We didn't do anything. And then slowly we started to open up our laptops and our cameras and do Zooms, but we looked awful. So I, this product instantly was a miracle because I just looked so much better.

26:03And so did everyone else that tried it. The young girls in my office, you know, my friends. and I was like, I'm onto something. I said, this could be an entire brand because it's number one, it was important to me that it's a clean brand. I wanted to create products that didn't have any chemicals. I'm a certified health coach. I went back to school and got my degree from IIN. And so I've always been someone that, you know, believes how you take care of yourself impacts how you look. But then of course, you know, makeup can also impact how you feel. So I find it like one big circle. And Miracle Balm just was the perfect product because you could use it instead of a moisturizer.

26:44You could use it over a blush. If your skin's oily, you could put it over a powder or you could just do it by itself. And so it became a pretty much overnight success.

26:53Dr. Mary Claire Haver:For my go-to Zoom look, the Zoom filter is nice. I have that long mascara wand. It hides that if you haven't seen it, it's my TikTok purchase. I throw my hair in a ponytail and I slick back all the flyaways. I put on my miracle balm. I do my eyebrows. I put on a little gloss and I'm good. And you're done. And I'm good to go. Because we wear glasses, we get away with a lot. I think it's harder for women that don't. I don't. And honestly, some days when all else fails and no matter what, you don't look good and you put your makeup on and something's not working, you're probably dry and dehydrated from inside.

27:27But all I do is take the miracle balm and it fixes everything. Yeah, it's awesome.

27:31Dr. Mary Claire Haver:So when you were doing all this, I have this feeling no one really tells you no. You just do whatever. Well, they tell me no. I just don't always listen. Did anyone say, why are you doing this? Oh, a friend of mine. Why am I doing this? You know, either age or do you really financially have to do this? Or why are you doing this? I mean, I had friends of mine when I said I was writing a memoir. Why are you doing that? One of my best friends said, why do you have to do this? I don't have to do it. I want to do it. I mean, I am so lucky because I don't have to work. I work because I love what I do.

28:05And I'm really curious. And I'm always, I always want to do something better. I always want to, you know, I'm very competitive with myself, you know, and I guess I'm competitive just by nature. So, and I don't let go of something that I want until I get it.

28:21Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Until you get it. Do you like the scrappy stage? Like the beginning of the startup? I am the most scrappy person. I mean, Jones Road now is a big brand. We still run it very scrappily. And I love it. It makes total sense. I kind of grew up hacking my life. I knew nothing. I left, you know, I was not a great student. I didn't have a lot of book learnings, book smarts. But I realized I had other things. Maybe I had the Papa Sam education. education. And so as I'm doing more things, I'm learning more and I'm like, oh, I could do this. And then I kind of just became watch me, you know, not even to other people.

29:00Maybe it's to my high school teacher, my middle school teacher, but it's to myself. Okay, watch me.

29:06Dr. Mary Claire Haver:I love in the book when you talk about just start. So many women in my clinic, you know, at this age, reaching out on social media, this age, and so I'm about 10 years behind you, are at this crossroads. That was a nice way of saying you're 10 years younger. Okay. I'm 10 years behind you. I'm 57. So, you know, you're aging parents dealing with that. And then, you know, kids are at different launch pads, you know, moving on. And a lot of people are getting in and out of marriages, getting in and out of jobs or, you know, menopause, like for a lot of women, at least in my world, because everyone's in menopause, a lightning bolt comes down and they're making decisions on the next 30 years really fast.

29:46Dr. Mary Claire Haver:And so I see a lot of them stuck in analysis paralysis. And that does not ever seem to be your issue. I don't like to be stuck. So when I wake up in the morning and I feel stuck and it happens, you know, and again, I think it's probably I'm dehydrated or maybe, you know, I had the sushi and, you know, an extra glass of sake, whatever it is. I wake up in the morning and I feel stuck. I drink water immediately. And then I put on either music or I have a couple of guys I follow on Instagram and I dance. I do hip hop. And I don't care if it's for 10 minutes. I love it. It literally unsticks me. I love it.

30:21So exercise, you know, for me is kind of everything.

30:24Dr. Mary Claire Haver:I'm very much the same. I built a gym in my house so that, and I work from there. So I have a treadmill and I'll throw the laptop up there and walk. And so I take most of my Zoom calls up there. People think I'm nuts. I don't care if I'm on the weighted vest. I get up there. But when I'm stuck, I literally crank up. It's disco for me because of my brother. It's the music, yeah. And I dance around until I work out. Yeah, it makes me want to do more. So tell me about the weighted vest. So origin story for me was listening to Vonda Wright and some of the people in the osteoporosis world about we have an epidemic of low bone density in this country and for multiple reasons.

31:04Dr. Mary Claire Haver:And what can we do about it? So I'm a scientist. So I go to the literature, I start digging. I'm like, what can we do? We know hormone therapy helps and not everybody can take it. And, you know, and so what do we know works? I had three, four, five, six, now seven articles on doing weighted vest training with elderly patients who had osteoporosis and they were seeing bone benefits from this mechanical load. And I'm like, and I knew like the bros were wearing them for tactical training, but that's, I don't like listening to the wellness guys that much. I'm like, what are the women doing? Like what helps me?

31:37Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Right, of course. Not a 25-year-old male athlete. And I was like, there's pretty good data. It's not going to hurt me. I'm already walking. I'm just going to throw this on when I'm walking or doing housework. I mean, it could hurt you if it's too heavy for your body. So I go to Amazon and I pick out what looks like a decent weight vest. And I started like six pounds. Then I'm digging like, how heavy do you have to be to see benefit for bones? Right. And the benefits were about 10 % of your ideal body weight. So for me, that's like 12 pounds. Okay. So I'm like, all right. So I get a 12 and I immediately decide I'm going to go walk on the seawall, which in Galveston, we have this big walk along the water for like seven miles.

32:15Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Well, I almost died that day. That was way too much. I realized you have to build up to it. You have to start slow. Right. But I love it. And then I keep talking about it. And I'm making videos with my weighted vest. I think there's a picture in the book where I'm at a fashion show. It was Ford Model of the Year. I was a young makeup artist. I must have been 24 years old. I'm wearing Richard Simmons shorts. I'm doing the makeup. And your hair is in the... Right. But what you couldn't see is I was wearing leg weights. So I used to bring my leg weights to work like years ago. Yeah. Yeah. This was like in, you know, the disco age.

32:50The little ankle weights. Little ankle weights. Yeah. I used to always travel with them. That's amazing.

32:54Dr. Mary Claire Haver:I love that. I used to wear them in the OR under my scrubs. And then like at a long case, they made so much fun of me. I was doing like squeezes and stuff behind the aura table on these cookies. You do not seem to be afraid of failure. I don't believe in failure. Yeah. Like to me, what is failure? I mean, yeah, some things don't work out, right? I got fired. Some marriages don't work out. Some relationships don't work out. Some businesses don't work out. That just means it's a big message to do something else. Yeah. And you learn, especially if you learn from it. My daughter's out there. I really hope she's listening right now.

33:32But you learn from it. And so it's funny because people say, oh, you're fearless. And that's not true. I'm very, you know, I'm a very kind of anxious, fearful person when it's my kids. I worry about them when they're flying, when they're driving. I'm not a daredevil, but I'm not afraid to pick up the phone and call someone, ask something, do something, start something new. And I love when I've never done it before and don't know anything about it. That's my sweet spot.

34:01Dr. Mary Claire Haver:So I want to talk about our moms. I'll start with my grandmother. So my mom is one of seven children. My mother was the oldest. And my grandmother suffered from mental illness. They kind of glossed it over in her lore. But, you know, my mom said enough throughout the years to where she was hospitalized on a few occasions. My grandmother, she had shock treatments. My mom did admit that. And my mother was left at home to take care of her siblings. My grandfather was not a hands-on dad. She was probably 15. So old enough to manage six other kids. I guess some of my aunts kind of jumped in, but it's kind of a time that it's not been talked about a lot in our family.

34:45Dr. Mary Claire Haver:And it's a lot of reflection on my part. My mother also has suffered from mental illness. She was medicated. I remember seeing the bottles of Budisol in her bathroom, and that was her nerve pills, her medicine. And I looked it up when I was researching for the new perimenopause and thinking about when was mom in perimenopause and when were those dates most likely. And my mom has dementia now and really can't give me any historical context. So I looked it up and I realized it's a sedative. So my mom was sedated. She had eight children. Wow. You know, lost one when I was nine. She had lost one child.

35:23Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Next one's out of the closet. Next one's in rehab. She was going through a lot. At the time, I was a little bit traumatic and then had three little kids too, all the same. And so she self-medicated with alcohol. So I grew up in a very tumultuous household. There was very little stability. Little kid, I think I was fine. But like you said, things changed. Life got in the way. And, you know, it's taken me 50 years of perspective to understand my mother and really what she went through. And I've turned out okay. But, you know, reading about your mom in those first couple of chapters and, you know, I created this life for my children with as much stability as possible.

36:09Dr. Mary Claire Haver:I married the most solid man in America. I chose a career at the time that was a guaranteed income, even though I was away from the house a lot, you know, And I was always worried about them and them not growing up with all of the upheaval that I had. How was that for you? Well, very similar. You know, my mother really wasn't diagnosed until I was in seventh grade. So for most of my upbringing, you know, it was normal. It was our normal. I didn't really notice anything different. And I didn't know anything different about her. And so when she had her quote unquote first nervous breakdown, you know, where my sister found her in the bathroom trying to cut her wrists, that was the first time we realized there's a big problem.

36:55And she was hospitalized. And, you know, I remember that one flew out of the cuckoo's nest was the movie of the year. And so that was the first time I ever heard that people had we didn't say mental illness. We said nervous breakdown. And, you know, we'd visit my mom in in this hospital. She was in there for, you know, probably months. And my father was taking care of the kids while working. There was only three of us, not eight of us. And he hired a woman to come in and, you know, cook and do the laundry and do whatever we needed. But it was, you know, it was an intense time. But honestly, I think about it and where my brain goes, you know, when I laugh a little bit that my mother made some really good ashtrays, you know, because that's what she did when she was in the hospital.

37:39and my father and I got to spend all this time together, bonding and talking. And, you know, he told me how important I was to the stability of, you know, the brothers and sisters. And I needed to, you know, to be the quote unquote mom. And I felt, you know, I felt that was a really big deal for me. I just somehow didn't look at it as bad. And I was never worried, oh no, what if I get it? Or what if my kids get it? Like, I never thought about stuff like that.

38:08Dr. Mary Claire Haver:I didn't worry about that for me either. I somehow felt like I was stronger and I've definitely had therapy. Right, yeah. But I haven't had nearly the stuff that my mom has gone through. What I do worry about now is dementia. Right. But that's biological. Right. You know, and there's a lot of things I can do. There's a lot, which I do believe. Well, my mother also before she passed had dementia, but she was on medication for, you know, most of her adult life. And, you know, we know that that is something that, you know, risk. Yeah. Aunt Alice, who's 94, she's never taken a medication in her life.

38:46No thyroid, no hormone. Nothing. Nothing. Everything's fine.

38:50Dr. Mary Claire Haver:And is she your mom's sister? She's my mom's sister. Okay. And then when your mom was hospitalized, did she step in to help? She was always there. Yeah. We lived near each other. And yeah, she was always there. And you write about my mother was also hyper glam. It was the 60s and 70s and even the early 80s. And I can remember her sitting at that makeup table. I kept it for a long time. It even had, it was wood and it had a cigarette burn. And I had it refinished, but I wouldn't let them cover that part. You know, because. There was always a cigarette hanging off the bathroom. You said that. And they were always like, the marble always got stained.

39:26I just, you wrote about that.

39:28Dr. Mary Claire Haver:And I was like, oh, my God, that was my mom. And I would watch and I couldn't wait to go play. And she had those little plastic, you know, all the organizers with all the different makeup coming out. I just loved sitting there. It was definitely a different time.

39:46Dr. Mary Claire Haver:This episode is brought to you by Google Health. Stop chasing someone else's definition of health. What matters is what's healthy for you. Google Health offers a new kind of coach built with Gemini for effortless tracking, sleep insights, and holistic coaching tailored to you. Visit GoogleStore.com to learn more and start a new relationship with your health. Requires Google account, Google Health app, internet, and Google Health premium subscription. Features subject to change. Availability and results vary. Not intended for medical purposes. Works independently of Gemini apps. Check responses for accuracy.

40:16If we knew more about our sleep, what would we do differently? Would we go to bed at a consistent time? Or take steps to reduce interruptions to our sleep? With Sleep Score, Apple Watch measures your bedtime consistency, interruptions, and sleep duration. Then, every morning it combines these factors into an easy-to-understand score from 1 to 100. So you'll know how to take the quality of your sleep from okay to very high. Know your sleep score with Apple Watch. iPhone 11 or later required. Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney+.

40:49Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Let's go! Get ready for a new case. We're gonna crack this case and prove we're the greatest partners of all time! New friends. You are... Gary the Snake. And your last name? The Snake. Dream Team. New habitats. Zootopia has a secret reptile population. You can watch the record-breaking phenomenon at home. You're clearly working at it. Zootopia 2. Now available on Disney+. Rated PG. there's another passage that really resonated with me and i'm going to read it you were talking about i think you were flying overseas and doing all these press tours for the brand and to quote there's a particular mixture of exhaustion and adrenaline in these moments that i've grown to know well it's bone chillingly painful to be tired but i know i have to perform or i won't have a career.

41:41Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Not only does the makeup have to look right on the model, but I also have to look good. While I have people to support me, ultimately, I am the one who has to perform. There's so much at stake, such responsibility to the company and myself. I put my exhaustion aside and performed. Of course, I over-caffeinated to keep myself going. Then I get into bed at night, wired from the coffee and the stress, and wondered why I couldn't sleep. It was hard, but I did this because it was more than my job. It was a calling. I really felt that in my bones. That was a choice I made becoming a physician that was built into the system, right?

42:20Dr. Mary Claire Haver:You knew you were going to work long hours. You knew you were going to stay up past your bedtime and be in these like crazy emergent situations. And I left traditional hospital practice in 2021 to open my menopause clinic. No more surgery, no more hospital. So I really felt like I was walking away from that part of my life. I didn't realize that being a founder of a company. It's a whole nother set of rules. We're going to follow that back. And I've been feeling a little bit alone in this journey sometimes of like, everything's on my shoulders as a founder. And if I don't perform, if I don't step up to the plate, if I don't, you know, bring it every time and get on those planes and stay in hotels and the company is going to suffer and all these people who are counting on me.

43:03Dr. Mary Claire Haver:And And I'm just so glad you wrote that because I felt like she gets it. Right. But however, when I was working for a corporation, there were their rules. So I was not in control and in charge. When you are a founder and it's your company, you have the ability to say, okay, let's pause. Yeah. Just stop. Let's look at this. What's working for the company and what's working for me? And that's the thing about starting this next phase of my life, because I started Jones Road at 62 years old. You know, we just, you know, celebrated five years. I'm 68 years old now. You know, I don't feel it, but I know that I have the ability to cancel anything I need to cancel, to recalibrate what's going on.

43:51And, you know, like I have no one to blame except myself. Like I am on this book tour and it is my friends. It's exhausting. Exhausting. It's grueling. And no one around me believes what I am able to do. And it's OK to be tired. And you know what? The good news when it's tired, like I canceled my workout this morning because I just couldn't get up. I canceled my blowout. So what? It was two days ago blowout. It's still fine. And I realized things don't matter. Yeah. And that has made it easier for me to do what I'm doing. I'm not doing any less, but I'm taking away the pressure.

44:27Dr. Mary Claire Haver:My team is great in like saying, hey, are you okay? Is this too much? But you always say yes, I'm fine. I do? Right. Yes, I do too. Until I kind of break. And then they're like, ah. Right. And it's okay to break. And it's important to have your posse around you that is there when you do break. Okay, don't worry. We got you. Okay, we could do this. all right, you can't cancel that thing, but you could phone this one in or we could reschedule this, you know, because you can't do everything. We think we can. And also when we accept jobs and calendars, when we feel healthy and great, no problem, piece of cake.

45:05But then when we start feeling exhausted and run down, it's like, what did I do? And you know what? You're allowed to kind of say, okay, I need to take a break. So what if you cancel? So what?

45:16Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Trust your gut theme. Throughout the book. I don't think I was taught to trust my gut. Well, I don't think anyone teaches you to trust your gut. Look, you're someone that is, I'm sure you got all good grades your whole life. I did. Right. I didn't. And I learned that what's going to serve me are things that aren't written in a book, are not taught in a business school. They're just, they're innate for me. Like, I get it. Like, I know how to do this. but it's kind of trusting your gut, which, you know, I'm not a thinker as much as I'm a doer, but you know, the whole trust in your gut thing, this, this gut thing, because I always have digestive issues.

45:54So I'm like, maybe it's my gut that's giving me my digestive issues.

45:58Dr. Mary Claire Haver:And then the power of no. And the power of no. That is another theme in the book. I'm like, oh, yeah. You know, my person. Right. Well, and by the way, you could text me anytime. Like I have these women that understand what we're going through. Not everyone understands this. And, you know, when I'm in these situations and I'm so overloaded, the first thing I do when I have a second, I'm not, I don't get a massage, which I should be doing. I'm not sitting in a bath. I call my friends and I have these friends that I, that are everything to me. They're not on Instagram. They have no idea what I'm doing, whatever they read or see on how they get the media.

46:37And so I, but I need to at least have a 15 minute talk. How are you doing? How's your dog? How's your kids? I like that keeps me grounded. I need to check in with my people.

46:49Dr. Mary Claire Haver:I'm glad to hear you say that I've transitioned, you know, recently I kind of was in the same job and raised the kids together. You know, I have friends from college, friends from high school, friends from medical school, friends from my training program, and then the mom friends. Right. And that's kind of my core group. And we all kind of did this path together of raising kids. And I was at the hospital and they would pick up my kids and my husband was traveling. And then now I've transitioned to this and I have to really make an effort to reach out to them. Or else you will not have them. Yeah.

47:19Right. And sometimes it's just a phone call. Sometimes it's a text. And I have even one particular friend that I know she feels bad when I'm not in touch. And every once in a while, I text her when I'm leaving some TV show before I'm going somewhere else. I just want to let I'm overloaded, but I'm thinking of you. I'll call you on Friday when I'm back. That is great. So those little things have made a difference.

47:40Dr. Mary Claire Haver:In the book, towards the end, I got a little teary. It was very sweet. You talk about how you define success now. And I define myself by grades, which got me to medical school. I define myself by number of patients I was seeing. Was I making the most money in the practice? All these external things where my kids making good grades, these poor girls. You know, one is a creative and I'm still trying to figure her out. And then the other one is just like me. I'm sure I could figure her out in five minutes. She's out there. Yeah. And my other one's in medical school. So she kind of, you know, has found that path.

48:19Dr. Mary Claire Haver:But I loved how you said the way you define success has shifted. Your family. My family. My kids. And you speak of your daughter-in-laws, the women in your son's lives so kindly, so beautifully. I love them. And trust me, nothing's easy. They both married three sons, two wives, one girlfriend. The two married boys married really strong women, really strong women. And it's interesting for me to watch the dynamics. And it's really I'm proud of both of the boys, you know, how they're maneuvering, you know, two very different relationships. I mean, I have now a grandmother. I have two grandkids. And it's interesting because the parents of the grandchildren, what is my son, Cody, is our second son.

49:12He's the CEO of Jones Road. His wife, Pyle, is the head of brand. And in the beginning, it was a little difficult. And we've all really grown and learned and communicated how to work together better. And that's, to me, the secret is communication on everything. It just was so beautiful to see, you know, and I was like, God, I wish someone would write that about me.

49:38Dr. Mary Claire Haver:So sweetly. I love my mother-in-law, but it was one of those. She likes to point out how different, you know, she raised her kids versus how I raised mine. You can't say that now. See, I know that as a mother-in-law, I just ran into trouble because I was worried for my granddaughter running out the back door. And my daughter-in-law just looked at me like, do you not think we are doing exactly what we need to be doing? You know, don't judge me. I'm like, just put a lock on the door higher so Lily doesn't open the door. But then I realized, Bobby, be quiet. You can't say it. I find myself doing that with my girls now.

50:11Dr. Mary Claire Haver:like took my 25 year old adult child out to brunch with her boyfriend and was like, you're going to pack that up, right? And take it home because she hadn't finished her meal. And I was like, shut up. Right. You know, she's grown. It's no, it's hard. It's hard. I mean, you know, my oldest son is 35. You know, I still I have find my friend on my app. So I know where they all are. And I, you know, and I checked. They gave that to me for Mother's Day one year. And my youngest son who lived in Telluride for high school, I used to get in bed at night, you know, it was two hours different there. And I would look, oh, everyone's home.

50:44Oh, Duke's home. It says Telluride. And then the next, and then he finally told me when he went to college, mom, I used to leave my phone at home, you know, so you thought I was home. I was not there.

50:54Dr. Mary Claire Haver:You know, you've watched how your kids are doing things, how you did things. And this, this generational, you know, you're working with a younger team, I'm assuming now. How do you see this generational change? You're excited about how the way the kids are thinking and how they're doing things? Oh, I love it. I surround myself with a lot of young people that... Not that we're old. No, no, no. But I mean young people that, you know, certain names, you know, they just don't know when you talk about, you know, popular culture. And, you know, I had Diane von Furstenberg come in to speak about her book.

51:28She actually called in from a yacht in Italy to speak to the team. Half of the kids never heard of her. And so I made them watch the movie and Google her. Have you ever seen her movie? No. Oh, you got to see it. It'll make you feel so incredible to be a woman. I know who she is. Yeah. You know, she was known for the wrap dress. Yeah, the wrap dress. But she was an original powerhouse woman that just said, why do I have to live my life differently than the men? Wow. She just had that in her head. So it was a really great documentary. But, you know, I love surrounding myself with people that are a lot younger.

52:03I love teaching, but I also love learning from them. Yeah. And I also love being with people that are really old. My love of Leonard Lauder is in the book, just like my love of my husband. So, you know, and love of my dad and Papa Sam.

52:21Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Now for a MidiPause sponsored by MidiHealth. Let's talk about omega-3s, one of those nutrients that everyone assumes they're getting enough of. Spoiler alert, most of us aren't. Omega-3 fatty acids are essential and critical, and they're structural components of nearly every cell in your body. Not only do they keep your heart strong and your blood vessels flexible, they support brain health, reduce unwanted inflammation throughout your body, and help your immune system function optimally. Now, if you're consistent with eating fatty fish like salmon, mackerel, or sardines multiple times a week, you're likely getting what you need.

52:57Dr. Mary Claire Haver:But let's be honest, most of us aren't doing that. That is why omega-3 supplementation can make sense. It's one of the most well-researched, evidence-based interventions we have. When I talk about supporting your health through perimenopause, menopause, and beyond, it's about equipping your body with what it needs to function the way it's meant to. Omega-3s are one of those functional pieces, working quietly but powerfully to support every system in your body. If you're thinking about where to invest in your long-term health, Omega-3s are an excellent place to start because real health isn't just about living longer.

53:35Dr. Mary Claire Haver:It's about living stronger, sharper, and more vibrant at every age.

53:46Dr. Mary Claire Haver:So what advice would you give to a woman, you know, in midlife, that's most of my listeners, who are thinking about launching or doing something different? Well, first of all, ask yourself what it is and is it different or better than what's on the market, whatever it is. And again, I don't care if you launch a business that, you know, chops vegetables and puts them in Ziploc bags and sells them. By the way, if you do call me, because I would love, you know, to hire someone to do that simple stuff in my life. But also, you know, just do it. Just start doing it, doing it little, seeing if it works, seeing if people like what you're doing and seeing if you like what you're doing.

54:27You know, everyone wants to be an entrepreneur. Everyone wants to be a founder. Everyone wants their own business. Well, A, it's not for everybody. Yeah. You know, it's not for everybody.

54:36Dr. Mary Claire Haver:There's a lot of spaghetti thrown out of a lot of walls at our house. Yeah. And a lot of founders need a second person to make sure that they are dream catchers. My husband was with Chevron. So, you know, a doctor, engineer, doing our things. And then as the business started growing, he has an MBA. Right. And he kind of was helping out, but still working for Chevron. And suddenly he's doing more and more and taking on more and more. And I'm like, you're actually good at this stuff. I need to stay in my zone of genius. I mean, I was the hydro. I did everything in the beginning. I didn't know what I was doing on social media and building websites and doing all this stuff.

55:16Dr. Mary Claire Haver:But he eventually did retire earlier than originally planned and now completely runs all that. He didn't. He never retired. I think that word needs to go. Well, he says, you know, he's still like, like what I'm doing is not really work. I'm like, no, you have a bigger budget than you've ever had in your entire life. Yeah. No, it's one of the it's one of my trigger words when people say, how's retirement? Like, first of all, no one retires. They just shift into doing something else. And even if that means you're playing golf all day or playing tennis. Yeah. That's what you're doing now. You're not retired.

55:47Retired sounds like some old person sitting in a chair.

55:49Dr. Mary Claire Haver:And that's the quickest way to die. It is. 100%. I read through JoySpan. There's a gerontologist. I'm like fascinated with aging now. Right. And I'm like, how do women age? I just want to stay out of a nursing home. I want my time of loss of independence to be like as short as possible. And she talks about using your brain and human connection. Really, if you run the cancer gauntlet, you don't have a heart attack. What is really going to determine your joy span, living a joyful life, is keep thinking, keep creating, and keep connecting. Right. And honestly, keep moving. My aunt Dallas, who's 94, has a, she says, not boyfriend, it's her best friend, but they're together and have this great relationship.

56:32He's 95, going on 96. he walks around the retirement community with ski poles or walking poles and he just walks. He never stops. He goes out, walks the property, comes in, walks it. He just walks and he is so vibrant. Yeah. You know, he also is on some kind of a GLP and he said it keeps him young. Yeah. He said it keeps my brain. It keeps me young. And he's not done.

56:58Dr. Mary Claire Haver:From a medical standpoint, I am so fascinated by that drug. You know, Probably 25 % of our patients are on it. And it can be life-changing with a whole other discussion. All right, back to beauty. All right. I'm still served ads that are anti-aging, and it drives me crazy. There isn't such a thing. No. I mean, I'm older now than when I first arrived here. Like, there's nothing that's going to anti-age you. There's things that will age you quicker, like smoking and not wearing sunscreen and sleeping and bad food and, you know, all that kind of stuff. But I'm a liver. It's, you know, I'm not looking to use the term anti-age at all.

57:35I just, I want to be more vibrant. And I do that through makeup and I do it through what I put in my body and I do it through positive attitude.

57:43Dr. Mary Claire Haver:So in the book you talk about somewhere around 50, probably around your menopause, I'm guessing. You went through a whole health transformation. And tell me about the course you went to and you being a health coach. So I had my last baby at 41. By the time I was 48, I was full on. You know, yeah, like, you know, I started barely getting periods and I just was detached. There was something not right. So I went on bioidentical hormones. I've always been someone. That's really rare that you found someone who would give them to you. How did that happen? Because I read Suzanne Somers book. I mean, I read the book.

58:18That's all there was. That's all there was. And I actually did the research and found one of her New York doctors. And I went to him. My husband also went to him. and he's the one that taught me about it. And I went on it and it was like a miracle. And I was so afraid of, you know, breast cancer in the family. I eventually went off it and I felt awful again. I went right back on and, you know, I've not been off it since. And I'm way past menopause. But I just feel like, I think it keeps me young.

58:51Dr. Mary Claire Haver:It's always protecting your bones. And if you, and it can continue to give you cardiac benefit if you start young enough. So my husband teases me that, you know, if I don't develop a contraindication, if I do, then we'll deal with that. That when they open my casket, there will be bones and a little plastic estrogen patch, you know, sitting on my skeleton. But you will bury me with that thing. It's amazing. And I finally have the right medical team. I have a functional nutritionist who's amazing and her sister, who is an MD that left a woman's practice. And now they work together. That's amazing.

59:26I used to just take the functional doctor that would read all the different tests and I would go to my doctor that prescribes and they say, where'd you get this information? No. And so it was always a struggle. And now I have a team that I get to work with that look at all the doctor looks at the labs. Yeah. And then the functional one looks at these other things and they discuss it together. Yeah. So I'm a big believer in functional medicine. I'm a big believer in regular medicine, too.

59:53Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Well, I think there's a meat in the middle. I try to do the best of functional in our clinic and the, you know, everything I learned from my standard MD allopathic, you know, OBGYN, I have all of that. And then I have all the new knowledge. I went back to school for nutrition. I, you know, and that there's a way to a real school. So it is a, it's called culinary medicine and there it's the, it's the national Academy of culinary medicine. And so the courses I took were Tulane. And then I did my labs in San Antonio at a test kitchen because we work with nutrition dietitians. That's amazing. We actually went in and cooked in the kitchens and did some real practical hands-on stuff with the internal medicine team.

1:00:31Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Right. Well, I went to the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, which teaches people to become health coaches. Yeah. And a health coach is not a nutritionist. We don't get the science courses, but we learn about how, you know, functional nutrition really works and how you crowd out a bad diet with healthy things and how you start realizing and helping people to change their habits. And who are you coaching? Anyone, anyone that asks, no one, no, I don't get paid for it. Anyone that asks. So, you know, my kids are getting served these messages too. So I see the, the, the little girls going into buy skincare, you know, at the Sephora, like 12 year olds.

1:01:10Dr. Mary Claire Haver:I mean, that's crazy. It's crazy. I see it. You know, I don't go into Sephora very much, But when I kind of go and if I have an extra minute and it's there, I go in and I see a lot of fathers on a Saturday with their young children. And it's actually really sweet with their young daughters with like a gift card left over from their birthday or Christmas. And, you know, hopefully they're buying lip gloss and eyeshadow and not retinol. Yeah. Because, you know, a 15 or a 12 year old does not need retinol. No. And they don't even need to know what it is. They're being marketed. I had bows in my hair.

1:01:40Dr. Mary Claire Haver:It was running around the dirt riding bikes at 12. That's what you're supposed to be doing. So I wasn't worried about, you know, am I glowy enough on my Instagram? But you know what? You can't fight the new world, which is social media. You just have to be the voice of reason to your girls. You know, I've written two books for teenage girls on beauty and makeup. I'll probably do a third because it's the generations that come back to me say, I started with your book that helped me appreciate my freckles or my strong nose. What do you want, you know, younger women? And so you're talking to my daughters right now about aging.

1:02:17Dr. Mary Claire Haver:What would you tell them? Well, first of all, instead of wasting your time with aerobics, do weights. Oh, that. That is a big regret I have that I did. It was the Jane Fonda, you know, feel the burn. I taught step aerobics. Okay. Yeah. I was not coordinated enough for step aerobics. I was always doing my own thing. What a surprise. But I was feeling the burn with Jane Fonda. I was definitely feeling the burn. But no, you do weights and you just you feel better. You look better. And it's not about how skinny you are. It's about how strong you are. Strong over skinny. And yeah, and I would tell them that.

1:02:49And I would also say, just really think about what you love and your passion and try to build your life around it. And nothing's perfect. You can have whatever life you create for yourself. It's not going to be easy and it's not going to be perfect. And that's OK.

1:03:06Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Looking back now, what would you tell that 34-year-old Bobby with your couple of decades? Well, the 34 year old Bobby, I would say, OK, learn how to chill because you're going to be doing this in your 60s, 70s and probably 80s, if not, you know, if not 90s. So I plan, you know, and hope to live to 100. And I really want my 90s to be great. My dad is early 90s. His brother and sister live to their middle 90s. I would like to be healthier. Me too. All right. I can't. I just love, love, love, love, love. I love easy. Right. I love when the book, when you talk about, listen, I'm not making these for supermodels.

1:03:46Dr. Mary Claire Haver:I'm making this for the busy working mom who's putting this on in the car or in the train real fast doing her makeup. So what they have the little setup here. What's in here? So that's the five-year kit. It'll probably be sold out by the time, you know, we talk about it. And I gave five new products. So, which we will probably, you know, that's the Miracle Balm. Is that one of them? In the little tub? Yeah. And that color is called Cheeky. and it's actually the color that you're wearing on your lips. And, you know, you could put it on your cheeks, you could wear it on your lips. And yeah, we had two different colorways.

1:04:21Really pretty. And it works when you have nothing on your face. That's what's so great. But first of all, I hope your makeup artist approves, but it looks really pretty. She's probably. Yeah, it just like really kind of gave you a little lift. And that is, that one I'm not going to like for you because it's too dark. So you can give it to someone with darker skin. But this one is an illuminator. It comes in two colors. We'll try to get you the pinky one because it just wakes up your skin. I love this guy. That's expresso. It is a darker, like only someone like me could take a dark brown and think I could improve on it.

1:04:55So we still have the dark brown, but now I made expresso, which is the color of an expresso. Okay. And it's just, it's deeper.

1:05:02Dr. Mary Claire Haver:And I'm really excited to try this. People are going to be thrilled. So this is an eyeshadow stick that you could line your eyes. You could smudge it in a pinch. You could use it in your part between touch-ups, which is so nice. That is, I'm still coloring my hair. And you know what? And I might forever. It's okay. My mom is still with dementia getting her hair colored in the nursing home. You know, people always say to me, why won't you just let it? I'm 100 % gray. Why won't you let it go gray? My sister has done it and I'm not there yet. I don't want to. And I don't think I, I always said, well, maybe when I'm 60.

1:05:35Then I said 70. That's what I said. And now I'm like, you know what? I don't shoot things in my face. So if coloring my hair makes me feel younger, I'm going to just go for it. And then batch 18? This is what I launched before I had a company. It's a great color. It works on everybody. This again, you could use on your cheeks. And we made this so I can give it out for Halloween. And it was people request this all the time. So we brought it back for the kit.

1:06:03Dr. Mary Claire Haver:So menopause, you know, isn't just one day in our life. It is the last period to the rest of our lives. But it often feels like, you know, when I thought about it as a 30-year-old, it was my time to be invisible. I didn't even have a picture of a woman other than an old woman, an elderly, decrepit, kind of frail woman. But that's not it. I am healthier, happier, living the best life that I've ever lived. I wouldn't go back. I lived my whole life before, but I feel like this is the sweet spot for me right now, and it's only going to get better. What have you decided to unpause for yourself at this time of life?

1:06:36Well, first of all, when I think of pause, I never do pause and I need to pause a little bit. But, you know, what did I unpause? I think I've just given myself permission to do whatever I feel like doing. Whatever it is, like I can't wait to go home today and see my granddaughter. Like that is like my priority today. What's your grandma name? My grandma name is Bebe. Bebe. Yeah, my grandma name is Bebe. I'm very proud of the name. Yeah, I love it.

1:07:03Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Well, thank you for being unpaused. I'm so glad to spend this time with you and educate our listeners all about Still Bobby. Excellent book. I mean, I think it should be required reading for all young women. Just a story of resilience and grit and determination. And you're just a badass. Oh, thanks. And you know what? If I could do it, anyone could do it. Yeah. So thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Awesome. As a reminder to our audience, you can follow Bobby on Instagram at justbobby.com or at Jones Road Beauty. And Bobby's new book, Still Bobby, is currently available on Amazon. I'd love to hear from you about this topic or anything else that's on your mind.

1:07:47Dr. Mary Claire Haver:You can find me on Instagram at Dr. Mary Claire and get honest and accurate information on health, fitness, and navigating midlife at thepawslife.com. Also, my new book, The New Perimenopause, is available for pre-order now on Amazon. If you're loving this podcast, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. While you're there, leave us a review and be sure to share the show with the women you love. We would be so grateful. You can also find full episodes on YouTube at Dr. Mary Claire. Unpaused is presented by Odyssey in conjunction with Pod People. I'm your host, Dr.

1:08:25Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Mary Claire Haver. The views and opinions expressed on Unpaused are those of the talent and guests alone and are provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. No part of this podcast or any related materials are intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. To kids, summer isn't just time off. It's time spent building confidence and curiosity. But when school meals pause, millions of kids lose access to the food they count on during the school year. As a neighbor-led network, Feeding America is deeply rooted in every community, ensuring summer meals continue nourishing growth and potential.

1:09:04Dr. Mary Claire Haver:Your support puts healthy food within reach, fueling the future for kids and their families. Give now at feedingamerica.org slash summer hunger.