How to Build Real Confidence in 2026: Self-Talk, Habits and a Sustainable Glow Up with Izzy Utterson

0:00Welcome back to Wish I Knew, the podcast where we talk about how to build a life and career that you truly love. Today's episode is all about confidence, identity, and how to actually become the best version of yourself. I'm joined by Izzy Utterson, a content creator, mindset coach, and the queen of glow-ups. In this episode, we talk about how to build real confidence, how to stay consistent when motivation drops, and how to build lasting habits that actually stick so that you can actually become the best version of yourself. If you've ever felt like you're doing all the right things but you're not quite where you need to be yet, this episode's for you.

0:35So let's get into it.

0:43Izzy, welcome to Wish I Knew. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me. I have been obsessed with your content for so long. I feel like everyone probably must say that to you. Dandelion root tea is a staple in my cupboards now, thanks to you. but what I love is that your content comes from a place of genuine experience and learnings from yourself versus um motivational kind of aspirational wishy-washy content you know and so in context of the audience and the show um we talk a lot about bold big pivots people changing big areas of their lives like their careers or their marriage or having children not having children and I think one of the things that we don't talk about enough is actually building up our confidence and having the confidence to take those big steps so this episode personally I think is really important and I just know everyone's going to love it.

1:38Well thank you for having me I'm so excited to be here. So let's dive in and the first question that we ask everyone is a bit of a reflective question. Yes. What do you wish you could tell

1:47Izzy Utterson:your younger self? It's such a great question and actually this is the question I know it's the first question but it's the one I was really reflecting on the most because I think when you think about what would I tell my younger self there's a million and one different things you go through right gosh I never would do that again and I you know wouldn't have been in that relationship and I wouldn't have said yes to that and I wouldn't have taken that job but then also I'm so happy and grateful to where I am now so I think there's a two sides to it where I think I would probably tell myself to worry a little bit less but I also think in the same breath that worrying and you know as we were speaking about before we were recording that sort of need to hustle that need to work and that sort of need to sort of be everywhere and do everything is what's got me to where I am today so I think would I tell my younger self anything probably not because I'm really happy all of the failures if you can call them that all of the sort of happy accidents all of the missteps if they are missteps you know I always say there's no such thing as misdirection only redirection every single path taken has got me to where I am now and I wouldn't change a thing about where I am now so I don't think I would tell my younger self anything I love that response we've never had that response yeah I don't think I would but I think you're so right in the sense of viewing every blessing in disguise or you know every rejection or no or thing that didn't work out eventually leads you to something on your path absolutely and I think about you know I think specifically in career and within my relationship I think all of the bad moves and both are what's led me to the relationship I'm in today which I wouldn't change for the world to the career that I'm in today which is beyond my wildest dreams that I ever could have imagined and I think every on paper bad thing quote unquote that's happened has led me to everything now so yeah don't think I would tell her anything I would just sort of be like keep going I love that I love that yeah and so from a career sense we were just talking about sort of early careers and very much leaning into the devil wears Prada yeah era which is obviously having a bit of a comeback at the moment as well absolutely love um how did you start building such a cult community online about glow ups I mean it's yeah it's crazy to say as well because you are just known for the term glow up even though it's like a term that's been around for a long time yeah it's a kind of tale as old as time uh I think the answer to that question is it was very accidental and I think as with anything you know I've got a couple of projects I'm working on at the moment and I always say you know the name will come to us or the concept will come to us like don't worry it will come and the glow up came out of nowhere I don't really know where it came obviously it's a phrase that's been around for as you know long as whatever but to me I think it really was more than that physical change it was like glowing up in all areas of your life I think you know there's always been the concept of the makeover the reinvention the glow up all of those things and I really it felt really relevant to my life that kind of inside out glow that feeling good looking good and I was just having a conversation with someone this morning about you know I said it's not you know the physical glow up is a byproduct of what's going on inside if you feel good if you're confident if you're taking care of your mind of your body you'll look good because you feel good and it's that kind of secular thing so I think it I can't tell you exactly where it came from but what I know is when I started posting I'd worked in social media management and strategy for a few years and I'd worked at some of the top global brands in beauty and fashion and skincare and I was sort of obsessed with the metrics purely from the perspective of it was a signpost that I was good at my job and I was always a bit of a sort of teacher's pet when it came to work you know I was like metrics obsessed and driven when you have to be when you work for a brand you know you have KPIs you have goals there are things you have to do like you know that I know that and I think it was no different to my own social media I think I sort of started to notice what people's pain points were and I started to you know talk to something I think definitely had been spoken about before but just maybe not within my community that I was reaching and it was that thing of this is what you know these are the tangible free or at least incredibly inexpensive things that I do to feel my best and as a byproduct look my best and this is how I completely 180'd my life because no one came into my life and said here's an opportunity here's some money here's some this like no one came in and said that it was very much okay I need to fix what's going on up here and the rest will fall into place and it did and it was just speaking from genuinely my own voice of what I'd done you know what had actually worked for me because I tried everything.

6:53Izzy Utterson:I went to full moon manifesting rituals where I would burn things under the full moon and, you know, put my crystals under, you know, I tried it all. I did every cleanse, every workout, every diet, every, you know, training program, you know, all these quick fixes that you're promised through the wellness industry. I tried them all and I tried them all and failed, you know, for years. I was stuck in that cycle of all or nothing within my life. You know, it had to be doing the absolute most. And because of that sort of it wasn't sustainable. So I think sustainability and accessibility has always been at the core of what I do.

7:29Izzy Utterson:What can you do that's actually going to make a difference? What can you do that you can do every day? And what can you do that you can do for free or inexpensively? And so that was what I started speaking about. But I didn't have the goal of building an online presence. I just quite enjoyed when the videos hit a lot of people because I was like, amazing, this is going to help lots of people. you know that kind of metrics driven side of my brain was sort of thinking about that I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would become a creator that wasn't even an option it was kind of this thing of nice like I've got my nine-to-five job and I love my nine-to-five job but I also have this other thing I do which I get home from work and I film till nine o 'clock then I edit then I post and I go to bed then I wake up then I do the same thing and I just share this sort of not super aesthetic life you know of what I'm doing that's that could you know work for everybody or at least you know as many people as I could reach and I think it just sort of organically grew people started to take notice of it and you know I built this wonderful incredible community and I'm seeing the fruits of that more and more to where you know I've been on this journey for two and a half years now and I have largely women I guess reaching out to me of all ages I have women in their 70s women in their 60s women in their 20s you know you're saying to me you know you've changed my life or this tip you gave me really helped me to do this or I've started my business or whatever it is so I think only now am I really seeing the fruits of that because like I say I'm not selling I'm not selling anything yeah but I'm certainly not selling a quick fix so I think to answer your point in a very sort of roundabout way I think it was just staying true to what I believe I really believe that you can change your life in a sustainable way by sort of changing your mindset and changing your daily habits it's not selling anything there's no promise of a quick fix that's then going to sort of you know promise you the world and then fall off it just you know we're all on this journey together and it is it's you have to show up every day and do it so I think I think that's probably why but the glow up I I don't even know where that came from it's like it was the weirdest thing I sort of just said it one day in a video and I think you know that was I think that was the July and by the September I'd amassed over a hundred thousand followers on TikTok wow from thirty thousand so it was like a seventy thousand growth within the space of two months and I kind of thought okay there might be something there might be something to this in that yeah and then repeating that format it's so smart and then repeating that format because I think there's in social media I think there's this need to reinvent the wheel constantly but I think staying true to your message yeah okay some people might be like oh I've heard that but you might be reaching new audiences and you're also just reminding it's like I'm not there's there's not always something new to say because sometimes what I said is you know that's that's still important and that's still relevant absolutely And I think, I mean, I resonated with so much that you were talking about there, the sense of the quick fixes.

10:36And immediately in my mind, I'm thinking of the days where we had like skinny teas and waist trainers.

10:41Izzy Utterson:Skinny coffee. Skinny coffee. Yeah, I've had all of that. Also, I feel like we're probably similar age, but like we grew up in the era. The Tumblr era. Tumblr era, but also like all the fad diets, all the shakes, the Slimming Wilds. Special K diet. Special K diet. Yeah. All of this sort of stuff. and not even on a weight perspective, but I feel like we've now also entered this era of like people thinking that a lot of these really expensive fixes are normal. So we're in this Kardashian era and I love the Kardashians. I love watching the show. Love Kris Jenner, Momaja. But, you know, the obsession we have over Kris Jenner's facelift or Lindsay Lohan's facelift, you know, people are thinking that, and Kris Jenner's in her 70s, you know, she's not a 25 year old, But people are expecting, and I think it's just giving people an unrealistic expectation of what looking good actually takes or is for people, you know, for the average person.

11:41And I think that what really sung true as you were speaking just then and also through your content is the relatability. you were talking about the girl that's getting up and doing her nine to five and then coming home and filming content that you're reaching so many people because you're speaking to them

11:55Izzy Utterson:like you're one of them right yeah and I think that's you know I think there are a lot of there are unrealistic beauty expectations have always been there you know I've had a couple of times I think people have sort of and I always want to say with the glow up it's the physical the the the looking good I suppose is a byproduct of taking care of yourself yeah the feeling good and the thinking good has to come first but I think we're sold the other way around yeah and I think that's what I was trying to do for such a long time was to sort of aesthetically reach a goal and think that that was going to fix my mind yeah and the opposite is true it was just sort of doing it the wrong way around for a very long time.

12:45Yeah, which I think most of us probably were, right?

12:47Izzy Utterson:Yeah. And so going back to your journey, I mean, you talk about confidence a lot. What did that look like before? And I guess what was that shift for you? I think I was always confident. I was always confident in what I was good at, but I wasn't self-confident. So confidence and self-confidence are very different things. We can be very confident within our skills as a worker, or that might be a hobby that we have, or that might be we're a very good conversationalist, might be a very good public speaker. I was, you know, the latter. I was a very good public speaker when it came to things like giving a presentation at work.

13:29Izzy Utterson:I was very confident in that. You know, there was no fear of public speaking because confidence is a skill. it's like a muscle you have to nourish it and growing up I was incredibly shy because I had no self-confidence I always you know I had body image issues for as long as I can remember there was sort of a few nasty comments at school when I was younger and then you know you sort of you sort of navigate that you know I mean when I was really young like seven or eight years old this is sort of first time I can remember being aware of that. And but I was very confident in I did acting, I did debating, I did singing, you know, I was always on stage.

14:09Izzy Utterson:So the confidence, the skill of public speaking and the confidence within public speaking was something that, you know, my parents allowed me to nurture and I nurtured and I loved and it made me come alive. But when I was in a social situation or, you know, seeing a family member, I was cripplingly shy. And that self-confidence is what was really lacking. And that carried through probably to my mid-20s, to be honest with you. that sort of it was this sort of feeling of social anxiety I suppose but that translated through to my self-confidence or rather lack thereof you know I speak about maybe six seven years ago I was diagnosed well I was diagnosed with psoriasis when I was 21 so eight years ago and it was one of the worst cases my doctor had ever seen so it was covering me from sort of neck to toe I was completely covered on my scalp so my face was the only thing that wasn't affected by it and I think as a young woman in my early 20s navigating that was really tricky and I gained a lot of weight and you know I just felt very badly about myself and I didn't look in the mirror for two years that was how lacking in self-confidence I was so to answer your question in a very roundabout way the self-confidence didn't exist but the confidence was there in what I was good at I just had to figure out a way that I could sort of bridge the two trans you know bridge the two and sort of translate that into my day-to-day life because you don't really get to do public speaking in a nine-to-five corporate job or at least I didn't really you know maybe when I got to give a presentation or something like that I was like yes nice like I get to sort of scratch that itch and do the thing that really makes me feel confident so I think it is a skill you have to put yourself in situations that make you feel really uncomfortable you know I had to put myself in situations like walking into rooms where I didn't know anyone or coming on podcasts or you know just putting myself out there in a way that I never really had to do before because that self-confidence is a muscle you know the more you do it the more natural it is going to feel I didn't have that at all but the more that I practiced it the more that I showed up the more that I sort of embodied that confidence by just showing up and sort of told my brain we're good we're safe because a lot of the you know lack of confidence comes from a fear of the unknown you You know, your brain doesn't know the difference between good and bad.

16:33Izzy Utterson:It knows need and it needs to do what you've always done. So if what you've always done is stayed within your comfort zone, it thinks, OK, well, that's always kept us alive. That's always kept us safe. We're going to keep doing that. So when it comes to opportunities that you think, gosh, now I'm too nervous for that. I'm not, you know, I'm not confident enough or whatever it might be. You've got to push through that because that's where growth is going to happen. That's where neurological rewiring is going to happen. That's where that confidence is going to be built. you know people say so and so is so confident and it's like you're not born confident yeah it truly it's a learned skill yes there are things that people are going to be sort of naturally more talented at and that's what I always say you know with public speaking with being on stage I said I was the most cripplingly shy person and I could still do that because I loved it that truly I believe is my calling within life is to do that but that self-confidence came later and that was something that I had to build and work on and develop and it's so interesting because when you talk about acting public speaking there's this element of like pretend almost yeah or like fake it till you make it yeah and when people talk about confidence a lot I think a lot of people do associate that with faking it till you make it of yeah pretending you're confident and I think I'll just caveat that I used to think that I don't anymore I think and the example I use is think about the greatest actor that you can think of in in you know in an amazing role let's let's stay on the devil wears Prada let's think about Meryl Streep in devil wears Prada right that's not pretending you believe she is that do you know what I mean there's a difference I think between the difference between a good actor and a great actor is an actor that looks like they're acting that looks like they're pretending isn't a very good actor an actor who becomes the role who embodies that role is a great actor you know to where we're sat watching the film and we genuinely believe it's that person think about like the cast of friends you know like if we see them in anything else we're sort of like but that's rachel or that's ross or whatever it is and i think the same is true it's not about faking it till you make it necessarily though you're on the right path you have to really embody that and I always say to people and I always say to my clients and when I give talks I say think about the person that you most admire whether that's qualities whether that's the position they're in embody that person you know until you naturally become that person but the faking it thing I think you know we've always been told that fake it till you make it and I definitely think it's on the language slightly because fake it till you make it implies and tells our brain we're pretending yeah where when you embody you put your shoulders back your head held high you think I am that person you become you become yeah so it's just a slight language change I think you're right and fake it till you make it also probably implies that you're an imposter and then you get to a point and I felt like this with my career in some regards of like fake it till you make it fake it you make it you know I'm just gonna pretend I'm really confident I'm gonna pretend I'm this and I'd say it did help me become yes but then at some points you would then think oh no I faked it I've faked it to the top you know which isn't true 100 % and by the way I had this and I know oh god you know it's that universal thing we have a I'm gonna be found out you know like you know because I've sort of, I've sort of like somehow got here and done that.

20:11Izzy Utterson:So I think you just, you just have to embody, you just have to step into, you just have to become. And more than anything else, our brain is always listening to our thoughts, to what we say, to what we do. And it doesn't differentiate between true and not true. It knows repeated. so if you're repeatedly saying i'm faking it till i make it or you know whatever it is it's listening and it's knowing and it's embedding that within your mind so when that sort of fear and anxiety and imposter syndrome feeling comes out you think okay well what have i been feeding it to sort of for it to come to that conclusion where when you decide to embody you start using you know linguistically you start saying i am confident you know i am deserving i am worthy through those affirmations and they're you know affirmations don't have to be I think everybody thinks it's incredibly woo woo and this is why I'm doing my neuroscience degree because I'm like no there's so much there's so much power within this for your brain just speaking those things and starting to think them and starting to embody them will shift the whole way that you carry yourself to where that little voice of you don't deserve to be you know it's not going to come out so much because your body's not in protection mode.

21:25Izzy Utterson:It's not in that kind of threat mode of, but you've told us that we're pretending. So the fact that we're here now, we're really nervous and we're thinking, actually, I'm not prepared for this because you've told us we're pretending. Whereas if you tell it, no, I am this, it has no choice but to listen. Yeah. And so if someone is listening to this and they're maybe lacking confidence or feeling like they've lost their confidence or lost their way, where would be the first place to start? Self-talk, how you speak to yourself. It begins and ends in your mind. I think we tend to speak to ourselves and about ourselves.

21:58Izzy Utterson:And that sort of falls into our self-concepts in really mean ways. And I do a weekly Q &A on Instagram. And I had a question come in on Sunday, which was this woman messaged me and said, she basically was sort of saying, you know, the language she was using was, I'm disgusting. I'm, you know, I look horrible. I look this. and it just it really it really hit me in a kind of painful way because I'd use those exact words to describe myself I remember thinking like I'm disgusting I look disgusting no one wants me here no one wants that and the funny thing about your brain is it is always listening and it knows repeated and what you repeatedly tell it it will scan for things in your life that back it up so it will scan for relevant bits of information that prove that to be true so if you're telling yourself I'm not worthy of this you're going to scan for relevance of things that prove that to be true so when your boss says something to you that's maybe constructive criticism the way that you interpret that is going to be very different if you're coming from a good place if someone gives you a bit of a funny look maybe they're not even giving you a funny look maybe they like have something in their eye but because of where you're at you're going to interpret it in that different way it's like on the days that you have spoken really kindly to yourself on the days that you wake up just in such a good mood the sun is shining everything's like that you might still sort of trip up walking down the street but it's not going to impact you in the same way as if you're coming from a really negative headspace that makes sense yeah and I think you know your brain can only be aware of 40 things at once roughly and there's a lot going on with your subconscious mind in the background all the time your subconscious mind is what's in control of digestion breathing or the things you actually don't have to actively think about as well as lots of other thoughts it's around 95 of our thinking but what consciously filters through from the subconscious to the conscious mind let's say you can be aware of roughly 40 things at once your brain is going to filter out irrelevant things now what makes something relevant i always say to people think about you know if you or your partner or your parent or a friend has bought a car suddenly everybody has that car it's not that suddenly everybody has that car that car is just something relevant to you it's suddenly within your periphery I my mindset coach who trained me always talks about when she got pregnant she left the house one day and a baby store had opened opposite her house she's like my god how convenient it had been there for 15 years it had just never been relevant to her to notice that before and once you start to become aware of this you start to notice it everywhere it's what's known as confirmation bias and it's sort of a little bit why you know maybe you think about someone and there's probably a lot more too this but you think about someone or you speak about someone suddenly they text you or you bump into them on the street you know you just and it sort of feels like oh my god how did that happen or and this is why I always say to people to talk about what you want to do talk to people about what you want to do like hey Emily I want to you know there's this opportunity I would love to do that and then you might have a meeting with someone where you say you know and they say oh um I've got this opportunity and you think oh my god Izzy wants to do you know Izzy wants to do that you greatly increase your surface area for luck and opportunity if you talk about things if you're sort of open to them so I think the first thing you know if you have lost your way for self-confidence is start to speak to yourself a little bit more kindly start to listen to those affirmations in the morning you know the first five minutes the last five minutes before you go to bed your brain is an alpha theta which means it's the most susceptible to new information so the first thing you're doing is getting on your phone and kind of scrolling and seeing things that make you feel badly about yourself or you're comparing or you're just reading things that make you feel sad or angry you know and it's important for us to educate ourselves but protecting that first and last five minutes is really powerful because that's when your subconscious mind is the most susceptible to information so if you use that time to say okay no i'm worthy i'm powerful i've got this you know whatever whatever the affirmation that's relevant to you is and the last five minutes before you just as you're in bed falling asleep we all have that time if you can use that time to do that or while you're brushing your teeth or doing your skincare or whatever it is that's why I always say to people just like listen to a you know playlist um if you can do that you slowly start to rewire that self-concept within yourself within your subconscious mind and that starts to filter through into your reality so things you'll start to notice things that agree with those positive affirmations so opportunities are going to start coming maybe you're saying you know I oh, I want to, you know, I want to join a run club, but I don't know where to do it.

26:34Izzy Utterson:Then that information is going to come. You're going to notice it. And all of these little things are going to start happening or you'll pick up on a conversation or you'll have a conversation with someone. It's like I always say, you know, if you're looking to find your dream partner, you need to get very clear about what that person looks like. Because if you're very clear about what that person looks like and then they're stood next to you at the bus stop or at the bar or a party or whatever it is, you're thinking, oh, my God, it's you. Yeah. But if you're not clear on that, you're not going to notice it.

26:58Izzy Utterson:So you need to be very clear about your self-concept, about who you are. And then the information will start to be filtered out based on that. So I think that confidence, that feeling good, that stepping into opportunity begins and ends in your mind, how you're speaking to and about yourself. and the second thing is to speak about what it is that you want to share that with the people around you because you never know what opportunity somebody else might being told that if they don't know you want to do that they're not going to put you up for it you greatly increase your opportunities your luck your you know situation if you just start to talk about what it is that you want to do because you're increasing that surface area you're kind of saying okay this is you know where my passion lies this is what I want to do when I started doing this job not a lot of people are doing public speaking within this role of content creation you know I didn't see a lot of that happening so I was like anyone that I spoke to anyone I met I was like well I do public speaking you know so if if ever you have any talking opportunities please let me know and they said I didn't know you did that you know and then it and then it starts to happen or they'll see you doing it and I said I didn't know you did that you know and the opportunity starts to come but it wasn't you know you can't wait for things yeah to come to you you kind of have to make it you know within your mind getting clear about who I am what do I want and then speaking it out there and I think that I mean so much of that rings so true and I think a lot of it also comes from like the belief like you said the self-belief that you deserve those things totally and I think I sometimes it's not that I ever think I don't you know I don't deserve it it's not necessarily that thought I guess sometimes you sort of think you know why why do I get to do this and someone else doesn't and I think if you thought about that you could you could go a bit mad because you could sort of ruminate on that forever but better to try yeah you know better to put it out there better to try what's the worst that can happen one thing I didn't fully appreciate before running my own business was just how much mental energy everyday decisions take when you're spinning a lot of different plates and always thinking a few steps ahead, even the small things can start to feel surprisingly draining.

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30:23So if you're looking for a simple way to support your focus, energy and overall health as you work towards your own goals, you can check out Heights in the link below in the show notes, and you can use the code wishinew20 for 20 % off in your first month. That's wishinew20 for 20 % off your first month. I hope you love it just as much as I do. It's so interesting when you're talking about like the simple things like someone giving you a look. And I feel like so many people listening to this will relate to that of like sometimes our brains just immediately think the negative. Yep. so for example I've been working with this brand more recently like directly through the brand and then they've appointed a new agency and my immediate thought I think I was in quite a negative headspace on this particular day my immediate thought was oh no the agency won't want to work with me and the reality is I've had amazing chats with them the founder of the agency is like let's grab coffee I've got other clients I'd love to introduce you to we could work together on this and I thought oh actually it's not always the worst case scenario it's not always the negative actually things can be really positive and people can have really positive outcomes totally just the smallest things or like you say someone looking at you on the thing and on the street or on the tube and I've had it before and I've been like oh they're giving me a dirty look or whatever and then they come up and ask where your jacket's from and by the way

31:52Izzy Utterson:I'm so glad you said that because I always do that. I compliment a stranger every day, like usually more than once. You know, your skin is so glowy or where is that from? Or, you know, anything like that. And what you said about, you know, looking for that negative, our brains are hardwired to scan for threat. Our brains have not evolved all that much to keep up with modern living. So our brains actually are hardwired to look for threat. So it'll be, you know you're having a really brilliant day and you you know I had this recently I had the best week ever on paper career wise it was kind of like oh my goodness how is all of this happening this is so amazing then I had this sort of crash and I'm sort of like it's all too good you know when's the penny gonna drop or you know touch wood but you sort of your brain starts to scan for threat because it sort of feels too safe and we're hardwired to scan for threat and that's why you know that thing that was going around on social media about a year ago that sort of said you know why does my brain think I'm being chased by a tiger when my boss has just sent me an email it's because that adrenaline that fight or flight that we're kind of finding ourself in was a very important thing actually that we needed biologically back when being chased by a tiger was was a very real threat but that fear kind of comes up for us still that fear that scanning for threat that sort of need to keep us safe because ultimately your brain's doing its job it's trying to keep you alive right and I think the knowledge that a my brain is working for me by doing that but b let's just that's just my brain trying to find threat that's my brain trying to find something to focus on because when we're in that rest and digest that calm it can kind of peter over I'm actually reading a book right now called addicted to anxiety which is oh I saw that the other day yeah very relevant a girlfriend of mine sent it to me she's like Izzy this is the best book I was like it really is um you know because I just have felt a little bit out of whack in ways and I think I wrote a sub stack article about this about why being bored is actually really a good thing for your for your brain for your body for your stress levels uh you know for your nervous system we're so addicted to the highs and that feeling you know we say like we don't want to feel that but we're kind of addicted to that rush to that adrenaline in a way you know that's sort of like what's next and you know you know the high and then it's it's about finding the balance and you know emma greed talks about it she says there's the amazing times and the really bad times and you're so laser focused in those times that when you're in that mid time you know that boring time where everything's just like good you know okay not especially high not especially like just you know it's okay like everything's ticking on I'm like I'm in a good place your brain's starting to go well hang on a minute you know what can we focus on because we've become so addicted to those other things that it's kind of thinking what's going on that those boring times almost feel lower than the lows if that makes sense yeah um so that's something i'm learning about and trying to figure out it's so true and i think um we i think it's maybe a societal like full you know we're so addicted and i actually read a really good book recently called dose i don't know if you've read this one yes dopamine oxytocin serotonin endorphins endorphins that's it is that tj power i think so yeah i'll double check dose is it the dose effect yeah maybe it's the dose effect yeah my fiance's just just read it i haven't actually read it but i'm sort of it's on the list of things to read well that opened my mind up so much because it it talks about a lot of the stuff that you speak about in the sense of the um our sort of primal instincts yes and keeping us safe and those types of things but dopamine was really interesting because it it spoke about the fact that like we're addicted to the quick hits of dopamine so social media opening your phone and it's why like you open your phone and you you've got nothing to look at and you'll just by default go to instagram or tiktok or whatever your platform of choice is and but those quick highs almost have like worse crashes yeah yeah Whereas things like going out and so it was, you know, comparing it to when you would go and hunt for your food, you would get a dopamine hit, you know, maybe not hit, but you would release dopamine, but over a sort of more gradual period of time because you're going and working for something and then bringing it back and eating it.

36:36And that basically creates this more sustainable sort of daily feeling of happiness or whatever it might be. yeah and so that was really interesting because I didn't I never heard someone explain in kind of modern day terms the fact that yeah we all know social media is not great for us and all that sort of stuff and we should put our phone away and go for walks and things like that but the way that social media and dopamine actually interact with one another and it is why you feel worse afterwards

37:07Izzy Utterson:it is because I think you're getting that quick hit but then you're kind of crashing back down a little bit but I think it's yeah it's hard I think sometimes the dopamine hit you get from doing other things is never going to feel as like a rush you know and I think for some people that rush is what they really you know what they really want what they're looking for um so I think being okay with being bored quote on quote is really important because it gives your brain a chance to sort of regroup and when I say being bored I don't mean sat on your sofa kind of dopamine stacking with the tv and the phone and you know I don't even mean listening to a podcast I don't even mean listening to music I mean like pure sat in silence or going for a walk and just getting around nature and I know it sounds again I'm not I'm not telling you to sort of go out and get barefoot and you know get trees that's you know I'm not telling you to do that if you want to do that absolutely do that I live in London so it's like not really possible I'm like still on the concrete um but I think being able to just even for sort of 10 minutes a day be just with your thoughts it gives your brain a chance to sort of get back into the default mode and it gives your chance the brain to sort of imagine it a little bit like just sort of tidying itself up a organizing thoughts organizing memories sort of consolidating those things in the background while you're just sitting but I think a reason that we don't like to do that is because our brain does tend to scan for threats it does tend to go to worst case scenario with whatever it might be you know it gives you that time to really sit and think about things which we we don't we don't always want to do you know there's not always there's not always great things that we have to think about but it is very important nonetheless to do it but it's not you know that instant gratification yeah that you're going to get from social media or eating something or drinking you know whatever it's it's it's not the same thing so I think we've become a little bit addicted to and we have become a little bit addicted to that I think we're all probably guilty of that you know wanting that instant that instant gratification there was this um study that you'll probably know the stats more than me and i think the numbers were like really shockingly different between the men and the women that took part okay but basically it was um it asked people would you rather sit alone with your thoughts for a certain period of time or get an electric shock and i can't remember the numbers were but like the men basically majority of the men chose an electric shock really they need to meet my dad so my dad's never had a phone the man's just doing life that's so cool we get a flight and he just sits there just sits there with his thoughts so he's never had a phone never had a phone he's got an iPad okay I get emails like once in a while he doesn't spend that much time on it and he just you know we sort of you know we do a trip every year to Mallorca and he'll sit there for that two hour flight and he's just everyone calls I don't want to everyone calls it like raw dogging a flight and I'm like my dad's been doing that for however many years he's been doing that 70 years he's just been like you know he just does it and he's always he's always alone with his thoughts yeah I remember when I was younger I'd always be like I'm bored he'd be like you can't he's like you're not bored he's like just you know go and sit and think yeah maybe we should get him on it yeah yeah absolutely um and so going back to the kind of process I guess so if someone's started to speak more positively to themselves work on kind of how they talk to themselves and treat themselves and getting really clear about what they want and speaking about it what are the steps in terms of like actually forming habits and sticking to them because I think a lot of us and I spoke recently in an episode about like vision boarding and yes we start January and it's like I'm going to be this superwoman or superman yeah um and the reality is you get to this sort of time March april and then all of a sudden you look at your list and you think oh i've not achieved any of that yeah what like how can you advise people i guess in terms of like how do you actually take those steps and then stick to them which is the most important part okay so i think there's a few there's a few things to this we'll start with the most important thing which is that we tend to work against our brains not with them in order to work with your brain you're never going to just sort of cut all of your negative habits and you're also not going to add a list of 20 things into your day that's not going to happen so that's just like forget about that for a second new year's resolutions i don't have a problem with i just think they're done wrong i think they're sort of you know we have this idea that we have to have a list of goals that like i couldn't i couldn't tell you what was on my list of new year's resolutions from four or five years ago could you no exactly so i always kind of say you know we don't we can't it's too much for our brain Our brain expands around 20 % of our energy every single day.

42:17Izzy Utterson:By the time you get to the evening, your brain has sort of worked overtime. And there's this thing known as cognitive fatigue. So by the time you've got to the evening, your brain's thinking, oh, my God, I've had to, right, I've had to think about the habits that I've added in. I've had to think about, you know, what I'm eating, what I'm going to wear. I've had meetings. I've then had to have a phone call, you know, and then this has gone wrong. This has happened with my child or my parent or this, you know, whatever it is. By the time we get to the evening, we kind of think, oh, God, I'm just going to stick on, you know, I'm just going to stick in a quick meal to the microwave or I'm just going to order in.

42:48Izzy Utterson:I'm just going to do that. Now, if you think about that in terms of sort of the year, yeah, you might be able to rely on willpower and motivation alone for a few weeks, maybe even a couple of months, depending on the personality type that you are. but if you're trying to do too much and cutting things out your brain ultimately when it gets to cognitive fatigue is going to default to what it's always done that's why we sort of like sometimes we think i didn't i wasn't even aware of the fact that i didn't do that so instead of having new year's resolutions or resolutions or you know writing yourself a really lofty list of goals i tell people okay think about you know brain dump who it is you want to be a vision board of sorts right brain dump who it is you want to be down to you know what do they look like how do they walk how do they talk what's their job how much money are they earning everything that you can imagine about this person now I want you to look at all of that and when you're doing that I want you to really emotionally connect to it why do I want that how is that going to feel what am I going to feel when I get that you know do I actually want that or do I just think I want that?

43:56Izzy Utterson:Then I want you to look at that in a sort of, you know, from a zoomed out lens and think what word encompasses all of that? Is it growth? Is it peace? Is it optimization? My word for last year was optimized. My word for this year is growth. What that word acts as is a filter. Now, I can tell you my word from last year and I can tell you my word from this year can't tell you the list of goals you're going to remember that word and I'll probably remember my words for the next few years right what that word acts as is a filter through which for you to make decisions every day and I'm talking down to micro habits I'm waking up in the morning am I snoozing my alarm is that going to help me with growth probably not then I'm thinking okay what am I going to do now am I going to scroll on my phone am I going to listen to my affirmations just for two minutes five minutes two minutes whatever it is which is going to help me with growth it acts as a filter through which for you to make decisions whatever that word is whatever suits you doesn't have to be growth it can be whatever you want it to be could just be happiness could be peace could be calm whatever is relevant to that person that you want to be and that is going to act as a filter through which you can make the decisions because life comes out of left field like I know this you know I have a mother who unfortunately is incredibly sick and that came out of nowhere and that means that every so often you know my day is is sidetracked by something and that's you know that's out of anybody's control that that is a stress that I cannot control what I can control is not putting too much on myself of okay every day I'm going to do an hour-long workout and every day I'm going to eat perfectly and this is the meal I'm going to eat on Monday and this is the meal I'm going to eat on Tuesday because life happens so when life does happen and something bad happens or something stressful happens or you've got a pivot, what can I do today that still aligns with that word to get me an eighth of a percentage closer to where I want to be?

45:50Izzy Utterson:And it starts to act as that filtering system because a word is adaptable to seasons, to changes, to things that come out of left field. That word is adaptable. You can still live according to that word. What's one thing I can do for growth today? Is it writing one thing in my gratitude journal? Is it drinking a glass of water? Is it doing a more steps than yesterday is it just not snoozing well is it getting up and showering and what that tells your brain is we're still on track because when you tell yourself you set these really rigid strict goals which is how new year's resolutions have kind of been done since i can remember certainly when you fall off track which you will yeah if you set yourself to you because you will it's just it's just how the brain works it's just how it's how life works because shit happens you know like stuff happens stuff comes out of left field and when you fall off you tell yourself okay I failed and I think that is the sort of first thing I would do would be to have that word to sort of filter through the next thing I would say is that you're not going to just immediately get rid of bad habits right so how can I stack something good onto an existing habit you know or how can I replace that habit okay you might be having your coffee before you eat before you work out whatever there's a lot of chat around when you should have coffee and should you have milk in and should you have this should you have that okay fine when you're waiting for your coffee to brew could you listen to your affirmations could you write down three things you're grateful for could you have your supplements next to it you know setting up your environment for success you've got to work with your brain you can't undo years worth of bad habits you know and I'm saying bad in quote because what's a bad habit what's a good habit your brain doesn't know like I said earlier it knows need so if you've always done that you're not going to suddenly overnight just stop doing it you need to work with your brain you need to either slowly replace it habits like on something good and in that sustainable slow and it takes time I say to people look if you really want to change your life it's going to take time unless you are one of those people using my dad as an example again you can just cold turkey you know like he smoked till he was 60 and then just quit that's he's just that kind of person not everybody is going to be like that and not using smoking or anything as an example but let's just say you know you're someone that you know doesn't eat protein in the morning or somebody you know you want to add these habits in it's not that you're suddenly just going to like switch everything up and we're always taking things away sometimes it's about adding things in and then you can think about okay well I've actually replaced that habit now I can sort of actually move away from that yeah you know yeah um so I think it's just about being really gentle with yourself taking that time but I think having that word you know when an opportunity comes to me now and I think okay have I got the time for it have I got the energy but more importantly does it align with the fact that growth is the overarching word for my year yep you know and that's that's how I look at it that's such an interesting way of looking at it because filtering decisions is ultimately like one of the key things when it comes to building habits and making good decisions over bad ones so I really love that because there's this whole thing of like decision fatigue like you were saying about um cognitive fatigue is that what you said yeah yeah cognitive decision fatigue like that that sort of you know it's why I always say to people set yourself up for success within your environment you know pack your bag the night before get your clothes ready the night before meal prep on a Sunday when you have the time when you have the energy to do it when you've not been at work all day because by the time you've been at work all day and you've had a really annoying email or an annoying call and you know I can't figure out what I'm going to wear or whatever it is the less decisions that you have to make the less you sort of have that decision fatigue throughout the day the more likely you are to be able to stick to the things that you want to do because your energy can go to no you know we said we were going to go to the gym after work or no we're gonna we're gonna make that you know delicious meal that we saved on instagram that we said that we were going to make we're not just going to order and you haven't sort of tired yourself out by you know even just having a clean environment yeah you know even by cleaning up your digital environment what are you consuming is that exhausting you it's like comparison exhausting you yeah um so that yesterday actually i did a massive unfollow on instagram hope i wasn't unfollowed no no still on the list well i followed loads of people because i think through work yeah you do you do you have to follow those i'm pretty savage with it these days honestly you have to be and i just i saw these accounts and I was like these do not relate to what I'm interested or the kind of person that I am now and I and there's something so too that you've got to curate your digital environment it's as important in 2026 as your physical environment because what you're consuming is informing how you feel and how you think and what you're learning it's really informing you in ways that you don't even know and I'm not saying you know you just have to follow really educational it can be entertainment because you know sometimes you have had a really bad day and seeing a video of like a kitten or like just something that really makes you barely laugh that is going to switch up your mood like it's it is but it's important for social media to feel like a space where yes you can learn yes you can be educated yes you can be informed but also that it's not overwhelming you and I think that's when that's where the fine line is you know if it starts to overwhelm you that's tricky and you've spoken before about no zero days yes what does that mean so I people always say to me that's sort of like what do you mean you know I think people get quiet and I'm like no no let me just explain what this means so I hate cheat days like I hate the word cheat days I'm just like what even is a cheat day like if I want something I'm like having it you know what I mean I think like I think I just always want to scrap that a zero day would be a day where you did not do one singular thing that took you a step towards where you want to be to the person that you want to be now that isn't running a marathon right or like you know writing a thousand sub stack articles or filming all your content doing it no if all you can manage that day is writing down one thing you're grateful for if all you can manage that day is like a gentle stretch or you know prepping a meal for the week or just planning what you're going to, you know, eat, whatever it is, that's a no zero day, you know, and it takes the pressure off of being perfect and ticking all these sort of lofty goals off.

52:31Izzy Utterson:I think just, you know, a day where you don't move, you know, a fraction of a step closer to where you want to be through whatever that is. And what people don't realize is, you know, they think, well what's that you know what's that gonna do so much more than you think because your brain can't differentiate between something big and small it just knows repeated for better or for worse so if you're getting into your workout kit rolling out the mat and doing a stretch you are building the neurological pathway towards moving your body every day you're repeating the habit doesn't care if you've done an hour-long sweaty workout or not you're doing it you're getting into the habit of it so a no zero day is sort of that idea you know that james clear talks about anatomic habits of the compound effect yes isolated that might not make a difference but doing it every day that could make a huge difference yeah and that's what makes it actually stick right 100 it's not like it's just people say to me what was you know what's your number on tip we do i think there's nothing crazy just consistency just every day showing up imperfectly showing up on the days i don't really want to show up for two minutes you know whatever you can manage hi my loves just a quick pause to say if you're enjoying wish i knew please please please hit the subscribe button and leave a quick rating or review it really makes such a difference to the show and helps us to keep bringing you amazing guests and stories now let's get back to the episode i think as well like there's so much in just getting it done yeah and done is better than perfect a hundred percent doesn't matter how it doesn't matter yeah just do it what i think as well when you were talking earlier about like you're making your coffee in the morning you've got two minutes to spare like the time is going to pass anyway and i think when it comes to meditation or affirmations i used to think like you know i remember in lockdown but that feels was like a long time ago six years ago honestly but I would like wake up I put on my 10 minute daily calm I'd like go and sit in a specific spot you were doing it in lockdown I was doing it I mean that was when I was not doing lockdown I was like on great form yeah I was not I was one of the like very few people I feel like they were actually just like locking in I think it was like a control thing though of like everything else was out of control and that was like having a gin and tonic every day and like just eating whatever i was like oh i was just yeah well i was with my parents so like not that much fun but you know yeah but um but like that now is just not realistic with my day-to-day life of course so what's the answer i don't do it you know and i think you've broken it down so perfectly in the sense of like rather than doing a 10 minute full-on meditation while you're brushing your teeth yeah like you're you're doing it anyway the time is going to pass us anyway and you know I I'm fully aware that people have very different schedules and do not necessarily have the time to do that and you've put that so perfectly like we we don't have the time unfortunately to sort of put these rituals aside and you know do all that and every day certainly for me and I'm sure for you looks very different you know my schedule and my timing every day is super different so fitting it in where you can is better than trying to do it perfectly yeah and so talking about small habits what are some of the small habits that have worked best for you great question the affirmations in the morning have been life-changing uh just in the way that I speak to myself and the way I speak about myself and the way that I respond to things in daily life and the way that I'm just calmer um I visualize every night before I go to sleep whether that's listening to something or just sort of in my mind thinking about where I want to go just sort of build that image within my mind so that when opportunities come my brain's like yeah we've done that before um and I think gosh what else I think prioritizing movement's been a really big one for me in however however that looks I think showing up imperfectly or whatever it is I think I'm someone that needs to sort of get that energy out first thing in the morning yeah that's really important for me whether that's weight training pilates class or just a walk just for me you know I have a tendency to be quite lazy which people are always like what do you mean I'm like innately I've actually probably veered towards slightly lazier like certainly physically I was never very sporty I never sort of moved it's something I've really had to train myself to do and work on so not giving myself you know that Mel Robbins 54321 where you sort of override that internal dialogue of well we could not do that because of this or we could not do that because of this not giving yourself the opportunity to have that internal debate just doing it you know even like this morning I went to Pilates class and I was sort of in there and I was like and I was like I'm not I was like I don't feel good today I was like this is not you know this is not some of my best work but I was there I was doing it I was showing up it's done now you know and I think just for my mind that's better than if I just sort of decided uh like can't be bothered today I'll snooze or whatever yeah not snoozing my alarm I think having really intentional screen free time especially with what I do it's you know social media is one of those industries where in very few other industries can you publicly see and compare numbers and performance you know that can be really tough sort of thing like you know I put so much into this why is this not so I think getting off of social media as much as I can I love social media like I love I love my job I love what I do but I think learning you know to not compare and just sort of yeah that's been a that's been another one for sure or like place all your value yeah for sure or whatever that might be absolutely and I think um I resonate with that so much of especially with classes because I feel like if I book a class I'm going to go so as you lose money yeah if I'm like oh I'm going to go to the gym in the morning and then I'm going to do this I'm going to do that like for me it doesn't happen it doesn't happen and I think holding yourself accountable you know having an accountability partner in the beginning was really important for me when I was starting to you know once a week go to a workout class on a Saturday and it meant that okay like I'm not going to go out late on the Friday because you know I've said to a friend I'm going to be there and if you know if showing up for a friend is easier for you than showing up yourself in the beginning then absolutely do that use that you know accountability partner and just to add on to the daily habits you know gratitude practice is immensely important for me and that doesn't have to be you know I think people sort of don't do it because they think they need to write pages and pages and pages sometimes I just write a word sometimes I just you know will write the same thing every day I'm grateful for my health yeah I'm grateful for my partner I'm grateful for my friends you know whatever it is it doesn't have to be you know it's for you I I you know I had someone say to me once I've actually had someone say this to me more than once multiple people have said to me oh but I write the same thing every day and I'm thinking well that's fine yeah how amazing that you how amazing that you get to be grateful for the same thing every day how amazing to still be grateful for your health how amazing to still be grateful for your family you know how amazing to be in a position where you can write that you're grateful for those same things every single day and I think there's a kind of beauty in that I think finding beauty in the everyday and finding beauty in the mundane because you know that you have that habit of gratitude practice it sort of allows your brain to scan for those things because it's thinking well I write my gratitude every morning or every evening or whenever you do it so you know let's look out for something today to be grateful for yeah what a privilege what a privilege and so you've previously said um self-care isn't a face mask yes what did you mean by that so I think there's a difference between sort of look we all love a face mask and we all love to sort of do those you know have those moments of calm those pockets of peace but true self-care comes from the way that you speak to yourself Because ultimately, the way that you experience life and the way that you move through life is going to be informed by how you speak to and about yourself through that self-concept.

1:01:03Izzy Utterson:So for me, true self-care, caring for yourself as you do for others, is by speaking to yourself and treating yourself as you would others in that incredibly kind way. You know, I did a post the other day where I said, if you spoke to your best friend the way that you spoke to yourself, would you still be friends? and that's just something to think about you know that's there's not necessarily an answer that question that's just something to have a think about and you know when I would think about okay I want to change my life I want to switch it up sometimes I would just you know give myself a compliment or you know make myself a really nice meal almost like I was someone I was trying to impress yeah you know it sounds really weird but just caring for yourself in that way teaches you that you are worthy to be cared for teaches you that you are worthy of love that you are worthy of opportunity and it's just you know it rewires your brain it's biological you know it's science and the self you know the face mask is nice we all love it but it's not rewiring your brain does that make sense yeah absolutely it's a nice thing to do it's a nice thing to do but it doesn't move the needle I mean it's hard because like giving yourself the time to sort of sit and have that that moment of self-care you know whether that is looking after your skin or having a bath or whatever it is that's important too because it shows you that you're worthy of that rest and you're deserving of that moment of sort of self-love but I think true self-care and caring for yourself is not as simple as yeah doing a face mask sort of treating yourself with care and respect right it's a nice thing to do and it's so interesting because you a lot of what you've spoken about is like it's very basic simple stuff in the sense of we all know it but we don't do it and so something that came to mind when you were speaking just then is around like children and how we treat children so I've got a stepson who's five and you know you want to fill them with love and kind words and respect and you want to treat them really nicely and you want them to be happy and also you notice the difference with kids of when they're in a on their like great form and when they're having a terrible day and often if they're having a terrible day it might be because the fact they didn't sleep well last night or they did yes they had too much sugar and so it's so funny because it's adults note that with them right yeah yeah and we over complicate it so much we do and I think we you know there's there's this great book I was reading and it speaks about it's so basic but you know if you left the house in the middle of December wearing a tank top you're gonna feel cold now you're gonna feel cold because it's December it's cold out and you're not wearing a jumper, like you're not dressed appropriately.

1:03:59Izzy Utterson:You know, we kind of, we sort of equate these things. Okay, well, I feel cold because of X, Y, Z. Now, if you feel sad or anxious or stressed, we very rarely sort of like take a look at what environmental factors that might be from. Now, there's two kinds of stresses, two main kinds, things we can control. And I'm really simplifying this, but things we can control and things we can't control. There are things we can't control and those are things sort of external to us those are things going on within the world or that directly impact us like a family member getting sick or you know anything like that which I've you know on a personal level had to deal with for the last five years there's things we can control right there's stresses that we can control within our lives we can control getting off our phone and getting enough sleep we can control have I drank enough water we can control those choices that we make we can control how am I waking up in the morning am I waking up in the morning um to a sort of blaring alarm that's kind of jolting me awake in a really horrible way and then oh gosh well you know actually I've snoozed my alarm x amount of times I've missed my workout class I don't know what I'm gonna wear oh god that's in the wash you know I didn't know the train times oh my you know we're sort of there's these things things that are weak you know there's these stresses that we sort of can control and um when I was doing my podcast I had uh Alice Law come on who who co-wrote a book with Mo Gorda on stress and she spoke about she said you know I just have a really soothing alarm tone to wake me up really simple and now me and my fiance have the same alarm tone it's just like it sounds like a bird song and whenever I speak about it someone's always like yes I have that same one and it's almost like a funny noise to where when it plays me and him are kind of like like I don't know like it just wakes us up in a really nice calm way so you're starting the day in that way and you know I've laid out my clothes and I've you know I've set my alarm slightly earlier because you know I want to have that time to sort of be slow and intentional with my morning and I've made a note of what time I need to leave the house and I'm going to stick to that and you know I've you know I've got time to sort of make myself a hot drink that I'm going to bring with me.

1:06:17Izzy Utterson:And I've washed my cup the night before so that I'm not like, oh my God, I haven't got my key cup. You know, there are things we can control and there are things we can't control. And I think just taking charge of the things that you can control, because if I ever feel really, sometimes I feel really sad and really low because of what's going on with my mom. And I ride that wave, you know, I cry that out. I really feel that. But if I'm feeling really like anxious because, so for example I gave up drinking coffee last January so a year and a bit ago I've also um stopped drinking alcohol for the time being just because I noticed when I drank which wasn't very often but when I did if I had a glass of wine I just felt anxious the next day and I thought okay well that's something I can control you know I'd rather not feel that you know um have I had enough sleep have I eaten enough really you know have I drank enough water did I move my body today and it's all these things you know like with you know if you had a baby or a young child you know what have you eaten have you eaten you know and we we we forget to sort of check in with ourselves on that and I think when you don't check in with yourself you're sort of thinking you can get really stressed by the stress why am I feeling so why am I feeling so sad why am I feeling so anxious and if you're sort of ticking off all of those boxes then maybe it's something to think about, okay, well, maybe something else is going on.

1:07:39Izzy Utterson:Maybe something is off balance or maybe there is something going on in my life that I, I do, I need to talk out and I need to deal with that I actually can't control. But first and foremost, looking at those, you know, looking at those sort of tick boxes of, well, actually, you know, have I, have I eaten today? Yeah. Have I, have I, have I hydrated myself? You know, did I have a sort of triple shot of espresso before I ate something? You know, I think just being a little bit mindful of that, you know, did I set myself up for success you know was I scrolling till late did I sort of oh you know I'll do the washing later and then oh my god I've got nothing to wear to this big meeting or I haven't ironed my shirt or whatever it is you know I think just setting yourself up for success in that way yeah it's such a good point um okay so moving into quickfire app yes what tools or apps would you recommend to start with building confidence or sticking to habits great question I don't know about apps per se I think with apps I would say maybe curate your apps I think curate the apps that you are already on to be a place that helps you with confidence whether that's following accounts that lift you up whether that's following accounts that educate you whether that's following accounts that just make you belly laugh and make you feel really good if you're going to be on the apps I think in terms of habits I would say please please please just try the affirmations just try it once and I have a playlist if anybody wants that playlist oh yeah let's drop the playlist in yeah what do you feel about journaling I love it but it doesn't have to be perfect and it doesn't have to be a gorgeous sub stack article and it doesn't have to be a sort of literary you know marvel um it can be as simple as I have a note in my phone that just says good things happen to me every day oh I love and you know I'll probably put I did this amazing podcast you know today it'll be that and you know it might be I had a coffee with a friend or I had a really lovely phone call you know one of my best friends has moved to Australia and there's lots of things to be grateful for today um and you know at 6 a.m when I was on my walk this morning I was like you free and we had a call you know so I'm grateful for that today I think just starting to really pick up on things you know with journaling you don't need the perfect journal you don't need it you could write it on a post-it or a scrap piece of paper you know if that works for you and you don't have to keep it you can throw it away just sort of you know whatever it is that you want to do um but yeah I think it's I think it's really I would say it's a fundamental I notice such a difference in myself when I journal same versus when I don't and there's actually a really interesting book when I was um kind of in between leaving my corporate job and then starting freelance I loads people recommended this book called the artist's way I don't know if you've ever heard of it um and it's just this amazing it's like a workbook journal where basically you've got different tasks every week and it will I think it's like a 12-week course I didn't complete the 12 weeks so I want to go back and do it again but basically one of the key consistent habits is that you have to do three pages every single day and that is like a three-page brain dump no one ever sees it but you're basically like just decluttering your brain so important of everything that's in it and you notice such a difference when you start to do that consistently you first start to do it in three pages is actually quite a lot yeah so you're like really struggling to think of what do I write and then after sort of week one week two you're just flowing yeah I do this exercise whenever I do an event where we write a letter to our future selves and I'm always really pleasantly surprised by how much people write I think they kind of think what the hell am I gonna write it's a bit like when I go into therapy every week i'm like don't have anything to talk about today and that hour is always filled yeah yeah hours always where i'm where i'm where's the time yeah and what's the belief that you had to unlearn oh great question that your self-worth is in any way defined by what you look like it's not i love that yeah yeah it's not best book recommendation i feel like we've dropped quite a lot yeah i dropped quite a lot um i think atomic habits is like the one that i always go back to it's a book I read at the beginning of my journey and one that I really love there's two I really love by this author it's Brianna Wiest and the first is The Mountain Is You and the second is 101 Essays To Change The Way You Think if you're not a huge reader like you just want to sort of dip your toe in and out 101 Essays To Change The Way You Think Is Great because it's 101 essays so they're sort of short essays some are much shorter than others and you can really dip in and out depending on what you need that day it's your sort of go-to for you know you know one of the things might be 12 things you think are going wrong wrong in your life that actually aren't or 20 things to be grateful for today and it just is a real perspective shifter yeah okay I really want to get that now yeah it's great um biggest wellness myth there are so many there are so many I think for me, the biggest wellness myth is the idea that in order to do wellness or be well or be healthy or sort of, you know, feel good and look good.

1:12:51Izzy Utterson:The idea that you have to have the perfect workout set or the perfect water bottle or the perfect trainers or the perfect this. OK, if you're running an ultra marathon, yes, there's probably a specific trainer that you need and like kit that you need. But if you just want to be generally more well, feel healthier, look a little bit better, feel a bit more confident. You know, I always my friend Bryony has this incredible app, Pilates by Bryony. And I always say to her, I'm like, sometimes I'm doing that workout video in like my like old pajamas there. And that I'm showing up in that way. Like it doesn't need to be perfectly created.

1:13:29Izzy Utterson:It doesn't need to be what you're seeing on Instagram. I think it's just show up as you are and sort of do those habits. Yeah. So I think the biggest wellness myth would be that you need to buy a million things and look a certain way before you can show up within that space, if that makes sense. Yeah, I really love that. And I so relate to that as well. So it's like, oh, you know, I'm going to start doing Pilates, but first I need to go by a whole bunch of these steps. I'm not doing Pilates, but, you know, first of all, I need to look, you know, look a certain way. Second of all, I need to wear a certain set and show up wearing this and with my hair done like this.

1:14:08Izzy Utterson:And, you know, and it's like actually, you know, in lockdown when I sort of started to think about what I wanted to do, I was, you know, using my dad's like mat that he had from when he was doing physio from an operation. It's like old, like squidgy mat that he'd like bought God knows where. um and you know I was just like doing a little free youtube workout I just you know I was on my phone or my laptop and looking at like okay 10 minute abs or 10 minute arms or 10 minute whatever it was and I think I had some like dumbbells of Amazon that cost me like 20 pounds you know I think it's like it doesn't have to look I think it's the idea that like in order for it to matter you've got to post about it or it's got to look a certain way and it doesn't I think there's also this element of like, sometimes we trick our minds and our minds trick us in the sense of like, you have to buy motivation.

1:15:00Izzy Utterson:And because marketing works, it works, you know, and then there's, I forget his name. It'll come to me and I'll, what's his name? You might know the guy that always talks about like the psychology of marketing. his name has escaped me i'm gonna i'm gonna like be lying in bed later and i'm gonna tell you and we'll have like the word on his name on the screen but you know i always i always say i'm a marketer's dream because i can be so easily sold to these quick you know and i have to really check myself and when you start to really read up about the psychology of marketing and how it works and how it appeals to your emotional center within your brain it is fascinating and that's why you know the wellness industry tells you you know you know and and the the way we live now is such you know consumerism tells you you need all of these things to be that person to have that life to look like the model that's wearing the thing and it's like actually you don't you don't need that but but i also fall victim to it so it's like you know and we all do you know of course we all do it's interesting I've always feel like when I was maybe the most consistent with workouts I was using like a kind of semi grotty cheaper gym or like home workout sets like in lockdown whereas sometimes like again I get tricked into the fact that like I've just joined this new third space and I'm like okay well I'm gonna go to the gym more when I have a really nice gym no I do it I do it still now like I said to my fiance that I was like I think I need a new workout set just to get me a bit more motivated and then I'm like Izzy you've got you don't need any of that like you just need to show up you know and if you can you know like I was saying before we started recording it's that you know I'm walking through the rain to get to the class because you know showing up in that sort of imperfect way where it's like hopefully I don't bum into anyone because I look you know whatever but it doesn't matter just showing up for you you don't have to be in a specific workout set of any any description um a quote or mindset you live by oh a quote or mindset that I live by hmm it's so cheesy and it's so overdone and actually I was at a talk the other day and someone said this quote and she said I know this is really cliche and overdone I was like it's my favorite quote is that thing of nothing changes if nothing changes you know if you keep if you keep doing the same thing you know if you read the same chapter of a book the ending isn't going to change so if you want to make change you've got to make it but also I always tell myself if I'm ever feeling really uncomfortable or if I'm ever feeling like like I'm sort of like Izzy you're on the edge of something here you're on the edge of a shift and change is good um so I think that but also just yeah I think just that you know nothing changes if nothing changes I love that it's on the back of my phone yeah I know when she said she was like this is so cliche and I hid my phone but I but I I so I so believe it you know and I and I I said it to a friend the other day it was a bit one of those like sort of harsh conversations you know she's talking about finding a partner and I was like but you're not doing anything different to what you've you know ever done and she was like you're right I'm not that you've got to got to switch it up you do and you can only grow and learn if you're if you keep moving changing and then I've got one final closing question what's one question or journal prompt someone can ask themselves today to start becoming more confident what how would I show up tomorrow if I knew that the answer was yes what would I do tomorrow if I knew the answer was yes and that comes from um who I did the yes supply coaching certification to get my mindset coaching certification and that was how they opened it you know what would you do if the answer was yes you knew the answer was going to be yes and I think moving through life with the assumption that the answer will be yes I think you know and really thinking okay if I knew I could what would I ask for you know what opportunity would I ask for would I go for if I knew the answer was going to be yes I love that I'm absolutely going to start using that.