Ep. 115 Louise Pentland: How To Find Your Version Of Success & Craft A Life That Truly Serves You

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1:43With a combined following of over 9 million, Louise Pentland really is one of the OG content creators. She originally grew through her blog titled Sprinkle of Glitter and YouTube channel of the same name that followed. And she was part of the original brick crew of the YouTubers that took the UK scene by storm in the 2010s. She met the Pope, Kim Kardashian, and has four Sunday Times bestselling books. But behind the glamour and newfound fame, she was actually dealing with a divorce and parenting a young child as part of this very popular YouTube group where she was actually the only mother as part of this entire group and this new, I guess, phenomenon of them absolutely blowing up.

2:20Louise was so open in this episode. We really covered a thousand topics. She was very frank and honest about her career, her relationships, the minefield of parenting online, managing her finances, finding new opportunities and her approach to content. It's such a good one and I really hope you enjoy it. I will say before we get into this episode, we do mention themes of childhood abuse. So if this topic's a particularly sensitive to you, you might want to give this one a mess.

2:47Thank you so much for joining me. Thank you so much for having me. I feel very privileged and very honoured to be on your podcast. No, well, thank you so much. I'm really excited. We have a lot to talk about, a lot to dive into. First of all, I always ask everyone whether you feel like at the moment you are more working hard or hardly working. I would say hardly working because if you do a job you love, it never really feels like work. Oh, that's lovely. that's the phrase but actually it does sometimes feel at work but mostly I would say no like when I think back to my old jobs this is the best one yeah I think that's a really valid point I talk a lot about how much of a privilege it is to like really genuinely love your job and to feel fulfilled by your job and to get lots of things from your job that's not just the exchange of like labor for money but at the same time I love my job and I fucking hate it this week in particular Yeah.

3:37So that's my confession. Not in this moment. Oh, no, not this podcast. That's great. It's another culprit. Don't you worry. I'm very sorry to hear that. If I can help in any way, let me know. I'm at your disposable. It's about an hour and a half, I think. Well, perfect. Maybe we'll go into that later. so I always like to start at the very beginning I feel like having an insight into your childhood gives a lot of context for your career who you are now what kind of decisions you've made now I'd love to hear from you a little bit about your childhood unfortunately my childhood isn't a nice childhood it's not a lovely story of like great supportive parents and everything nice so career her aspirations are pretty thin on the ground because survival was the aim of the game so it was born to my mum and dad my mum got ill when I was five with cancer and sadly passed away when I was seven from the cancer and then someone came into my life who was really abusive it's taken me so many years to be even able to say really abusive I would skirt around and say not very nice not too kind but the fact is she was highly abusive and it's only as I've gone through my own life that I've really acknowledged how abusive she was.

4:47So that was from when I was seven. So mum died when I was seven. She died on the 20th of December. And I met this new person on the 25th of December. So we buried my mum on the 23rd. And literally less than 48 hours later, I met someone else. And for eight years, I lived in a very volatile, violent household. So there wasn't a lot of room really to think about things like what would I like to be when I grow up because you didn't even have space to think about what would I like to do today your only thought was how can I avoid more violence so either there was violence towards me or they were having their own issues they didn't have a great relationship so I was just witnessing just a lot of aggression I keep saying violence but I can't think of any other language to describe it so unfortunately I didn't have the capacity to think much further ahead but I knew that I didn't want that I knew that this wasn't normal I found it really difficult I couldn't like pinpoint what wasn't normal because at that age you just think okay this is how we live and also it's worth remembering that abusers are really intelligent so I was groomed to believe this is normal you deserve this this is how it should be so then when I when that all finished when I was about 16 17 I went to university and now I'm so proud of myself I'm like wow I achieved academically enough to get to that point and when I got to university that when I was that's when I was like oh my god life is so good like is this what everybody's been having and I've been missing out on like friends and freedom and like warmth and laughing with people and choices that no one's going to like smash your face in for making I was like this is incredible and that's when I started to think life is really good and I could grab this by the hands and I've never really had specific career goals but I've always been like if there's an opportunity I will take that gratefully with both hands first of all I have to say I'm so sorry you went through that thank you that is I know it doesn't you know it's always so difficult because all you can really say in that type of situation from it I know it's difficult isn't it from your side even in terms of like all you can say is you know like thank you and actually it's so much deeper than that and you've been through so much and to be able to even like when we talk about things like you know what were your career aspirations as a child like that is so something to take for granted the fact that someone as a child could even have career aspirations when there are so many situations that you might be in that that is obviously nowhere near the top of your list to be thinking about at that time yeah to think about the future is actually a privilege because if you're in a really dire situation the future doesn't matter you've only got the present and if you're focusing desperately on like surviving the present there's no space I couldn't grieve my mother because I couldn't think about the past couldn't think about the future you just think about how will I get through this day and I can't imagine how tough that was was there from that point obviously you've said that when you went to university you start to realize I guess you know what I what I was experiencing wasn't normal and there's so much more to life and this is what I now get to experience and I'm out of that type of situation.

8:00Was there a point that you started unpack what you'd been through? Yes and no. That's such a good question. No one's ever actually asked me that specific question. There were lots of little moments where I was like, huh, that's interesting. But there was no one big moment until my eldest daughter hit about six or seven because that's the age when everything kind of like started to go downhill for me but at university I remember I once went back to my friend Faye's house and her parents were like really nice I was like that's awesome this is not what I this is not how I think a household would be and it wasn't actually and so all through the years of kind of growing into my 20s I was like that's interesting and it wasn't a matter of unpacking it was just a matter of actually letting it sit in a box and just like that terrible thing happened and I was just so relieved it wasn't happening anymore I didn't want to deal with that I was like I just want to enjoy my life I want to have friends I want to have a boyfriend I want to do all these other things and I rushed into a marriage because I was like this what I'm going to do now is create the family I never got to have I'm going to have a really lovely perfect calm happy family in the end that didn't happen between it getting divorced But that was almost my career goal was to recreate something I had lacked so much.

9:16No, I can imagine that that's very, on top of everything, very disorientating to have to learn, I guess, so much later than you would have liked to learn. A family should and can be loving, it can be supportive, it can be nonviolent. And I think that, you know, finding that out later, and as you say, especially finding that out when you're in the process of kind of coming into motherhood is really, really tough and disorientating. like for you to be that time's already confusing enough like it's confusing you're pregnant you're you know about to have a family and really thinking about like what you'll be like as a parent and how much it will change your life and all of that and to be having essentially big realizations that are kind of okay on top of that maybe I need to go back and think that you know what I went through was so far from normal and so far from okay and not just I'm not going to replicate it as badly like not going to go anywhere near and actually no one should ever have been near that I can imagine that's a big realization to have in your personal life it's a really beautiful realization when you look at your life and you're like huh my life is not brutal it's really soft and it's really gentle and there's so much strength in that my life is never horrible and not just oh I hope that doesn't happen to me again I hope no one does this it just doesn't and I don't allow it to and realizing that actually not only am I not like that but I'm actually so strong that I can prevent that ever happening to anyone in my family is incredible so as much as it was like whoa this is a bit of like this is pretty messed up suddenly like huh there's a lot of power that comes from that so you know that you are better than the people that came before you.

11:11Yeah, absolutely. And that takes a lot of strength and a lot of redefining what you thought, you know, that position would be for yourself. I want to talk about what you mentioned in terms of having been through the situation, having come out of it, been to university, discovered kind of what you wanted from life and really thinking, you know, the main thing you wanted was to solve what you hadn't had, which was to have and to build a loving family. Yeah. you say that you rushed into a marriage and I think that that's a really valuable and very honest thing to say I think especially having you know a social media presence it's not an easy thing to say especially when you know you would have been online at that time and you would have been in that at that time where people were kind of seeing you every single day but I am really really interested and I've spoken about this a lot on the podcast about how experiences we have especially as children form the basis for the types of relationships we have in that you know there's this amazing ted talk which i talk about a lot which is called basically why you'll probably marry the wrong person and it's all i should have listened to a while ago by the way i'm getting married again next year so i might just read i'll just listen to it just in case just in case but it's it's so good and it's basically talking about the fact that you know we all go we all basically try and somewhat replicate you know what we know so we can deal with pain that we know we can't deal with pain that we don't know so how that manifests in most people is and in you know more i guess normal circumstances than you grew up in was that if you have parents that are like overly loving and kind of overbearing and over like very very involved you'll probably go for someone who suffocates you a little bit because you can deal with that like you understand that At the same time, if you had very absent parents, then you're likely to go for someone who's very avoidant and probably not very present and all of that because you replicate a pain that you know.

13:10And I always find that very interesting. And I think that I see a lot in my friends. Like I see it a lot. I'm like, I can see exactly why you've been for this person. And you go for this type of person again and again and again. Obviously, something so clearly for you was you wanted to build peace, like you wanted to build a loving family and have kind of peaceful relationships. So for a lot of people, they go for the complete opposite of what they had. That is exactly what I did. Could you talk to that a little bit? Yes. I won't go too much into the marriage because it's not because I don't have things I would love to say.

13:45It's because it's obviously there's someone else and I don't want to give their life away. But for a long time, it was a really peaceful, happy relationship. and I will say the opposite of my violent, turbulent, horrible home life that I had experienced. And Darcy was a much wanted, much planned for baby. But I think if I'm really honest with myself, and it's embarrassing to say this because I should have known better, I was so glad that somebody liked me. So my ex-husband was my first boyfriend and I was just so glad to feel loved and cherished that I gripped onto that so hard I dug my little claws in and did not let go and I sometimes think I pushed and pushed I remember pushing to be like oh you know when we get engaged it was me that would mention these things it was me that would push for this and I just swept us along in this thing that I felt like I needed so desperately and then as we grew into our 20s some people grow together some people grow apart and we grew apart and I just realized we are not the right people for each other we've both moved on and are very happy separately but it will always be something that I carry in my heart that I feel sad and ashamed about because I broke up Darcy's family even though I know it was the right thing to do for Darcy as well I will always feel a bit sad that I made poor choices.

15:12I understand that. And I understand where that feeling comes from. It makes me sad that you have that feeling. And I completely understand why. And I have no doubt that if I was in the same situation, I would feel the same. I can say as someone who had or who has divorced parents who at one point really liked each other. I do really, really, really strongly believe that when things aren't meant to be working especially in a familial environment it's not necessarily right to push it because that can cause huge impact on the people i fully agree that's why i left when i did because she was three and a half i remember thinking either i'm going to stay till she's 18 or i'm going to go now because i can't have her grow up in a we when i say turbulent me and my ex-husband weren't turbulent like my right like my family home was but you know we would row we would like we didn't bring out each other's best selves i was like oh I don't want her to grow up seeing this I don't want her to see this version of me or this version of him I'll leave but I just I will just never be like yeah I'm not I'm not sad about that yeah of course of course and that's well within your right and I feel like as a as a mother you so want to protect and you want to like even part you know you've said yourself so much of this was you wanting to create a beautiful like loving family and I can understand why that doesn't feel the same when it's not in the initial unit be embarrassing i had a massive wedding made a big hoo-ha about it put it online wrote all these blog posts and then i was like but you were guys yeah just all plot i guess oh no and then it happened so many times then i got a boyfriend after that i was so excited because i was like oh my god at last someone fancies me again this is really exciting it was like a year and a bit after i was like here we go i was like i'll keep this under wraps for a few months because I don't want to rush and then I made a video being like huh I've got a boyfriend two weeks later he was like I don't think it's working I was like are you joking I've just made a video you're on YouTube actually actually signed a contract so now you have to be with me for another year I never put him online or his face or even his name or anything but I was like okay well I'm just gonna leave that video for a while before I make the no we're not together but Vicky thanks so much yeah and then when I met Liam I was like I will I'm never saying anything until I know that you're not leaving me yeah no absolutely and I've I've had that feeling and I know very much how you feel and I think that it's very I don't know it's it's just it's a weird situation to be in social media is weird yeah and I want to come on to that because obviously a huge part of your career was really you know blowing up in your twenties and as I was getting divorced social media was like off the charts wild it was like this side of my life was like going very down and this side was going very up and that was weird so tell me about how the social media thing even started okay so I worked in an office and I was the world's worst receptionist love yeah I poor Barry my boss who was still in contact with god bless him he's retired now but could he have picked a worse receptionist no no he could not my only job this was my job spec ready answer phone answer door that was all i had to do and even that i didn't get right inspiring yeah yeah i am not a corporate girly i learned that very quickly from the bottom rung of the ladder not for me not an asset to any team at all so yes whilst I was doing that I would use my time really wisely and read blogs and I was like god these are amazing because I've always loved magazines like you know paper magazines and then I found a blog and I was like it's like a magazine on my computer that Alison who wasn't my boss but thought she was my boss can't tell that I'm reading at work oh my god this is amazing and then we moved down to Northampton so me and Darcy's dad this is before Darcy this was not living in Liverpool by the way university in Liverpool was receptionist moved back down to Northampton where I'm from bought a house and I was like hmm I'm going to make a blog about my house and doing it up because we bought this like run down fixer upper and I was like I'm going to talk about like making my own cushions and curtains it was maybe the world's most boring blog actually at the time but it took off got mega successful 35 readers and one of them was Kathy from Germany and Kathy said could you make a YouTube video on this and I was like yeah she probably actually didn't say it like that because she was German, so she might have done it in like a German accent.

19:41So imagine that instead. And so I was like, huh, I could maybe make a YouTube video to kind of like talk about what I'm writing about. And then I might get some more, I might get a couple of people from YouTube will read my blog. So yeah, I'll do that. By this time I've gone temping. And once again, I was the world's worst administrator. But I would go to these interviews and be like, yeah, I love administration. I'm just very organized. I love being in an office environment. No, I'm not. I can't. Terrible. But I like having a job. I like having a job and I also would like some money to buy things.

20:12And do up my house. And to pay my now mortgage. And so whilst I was in my job, I would read these blogs. I was like, I really want a more glamorous life. I really wanted to have more. I hated my job. I didn't want to spend all my time at eight hours a day hating my life five days a week. And so I was like, maybe I could write a blog. And at first it was just fun. It was something to do to like alleviate the how much I hated my actual job. And then I saw that people was like starting to make money. People had ads down the side. Remember, you could put those widgets down the side. So I started to sell ad space.

20:46And I was like, oh, my God, I've made like 50 pounds this week. Like my Meghan Markle widget. That's right. For context, people listening to the podcast. I've accidentally updated my laptop and added a widget. And I thought that the only news was about Meghan Markle for the past week. And actually, it turns out I've accidentally added a Meghan Markle news widget. So every day I only get news on Meghan Markle. But now you'll be very abreast with Meghan Markle's affairs. I know, although very sad with the state of affairs of the types of news that comes in on Meghan Markle. Anyway, a wild aside.

21:15You had widgets. I have widgets. We all love widgets. So I started doing that. And also at the time I was like, oh, YouTube is quite fun. I'll keep doing that because I wanted to support the blog because I could sell more of these widgets. This would be amazing. as that happened the blog was really boring like bloody hell no one cares about whether i've made a crap pair of curtains no one cares but people did care about the youtube videos because i was just i would sit with my laptop propped up on a upside down washing basket turn my webcam on i didn't it wasn't i couldn't edit i didn't even know that editing was a thing so i would just press go on your webcam you filmed on your webcam yeah all my videos were on my webcam and i'd just be like hi today i've been to session search and i would just tell people about it and then i'll be like okay bye press the button upload that was it i didn't even know that you could edit and then a few people comment and then i realized oh there's other people that are making these videos because at first i thought it was just people in america i forgot that the uk existed understandable and i was like huh there's other people and i got in touch with like other girls that were doing this and i started going to events whoa they were very exciting for like little receptionist me i got the train down got a goodie bag which on the train back i was like almost feral about it was all like very exciting and as youtube grew and i started making more friends and more connections i it formed like a group we can i just say we didn't call ourselves the brick crew there was never a time when we're like guys should we all just like sit down we need a name workshop a bit of a name yeah yeah let's throw some names on the wall see what sticks yeah we didn't choose that it wasn't a thing we all just kind of like got lumped together one because we liked each other and we all got on but also we all had the same management which was gleam which r.i.p my heart goes out to it at that point you didn't actually need to have a huge platform to have a huge platform because it was right at the beginning of social so no one had platforms yeah if you had thousands of followers in any way pretty big time so can you just give me a little bit of context on how long it took to get from the point that you started to the point that you were going to events and what type of followership you were at at that time yes so I started my blog in 2009 the first event I went to was in 2011 or 2010 because I was pregnant with Darcy and then that was just like slowly trickling along and I would say things got really big when me and another youtuber it was zoe sugg went to this event that was like it was like i think it was summer in the city but i don't know if it was summer in city it was something like that and that's when there were loads of youtubers i remember at that point i think darcy was like a toddler like one or two so we're talking now 2012 2013 and i remember i had about 60 000 subscribers on youtube and my blog a few thousand and i i think had twitter don't think instagram was even yeah a thing or it had just started and i was like posting flat lays of katsu curries with sepia you know inspiring yeah and then like with the caption yum you know hashtag yeah hashtag no didn't even know to use a hashtag i'm still not editing remember but it was when i met like zoe and fleur and all of that lot and they were like oh you know you can edit i was like good god sorry what i'm mortifying i'm sorry what is this and i'll tell you how i started editing i did my first ever brand job and it was a body shop and it was for one thousand pounds which they just paypal'd me which now can you imagine just being like yeah i'll paypal you it yeah okay no contract no nothing and the next day i went out and bought a mac so i could get iMovie on it and that's how i learned to edit i love that you know when i started youtube i didn't realize that people spoke on youtube so much like your lack of editing i just did like montages nice yeah really really nice so i only started youtube because on a nice little look book maybe not even a look book far worse than that not very sophisticated it would be it was because basically you couldn't do more than 15 second videos on instagram so and i was posting workout videos so i had to find a way to be able to post a whole workout because there's only so much you can show in 15 seconds i do have to say and i would post these like montages of me going to the gym but all you would see the video would start it would be my legs walking to the gym i still put that in videos that's good it's a good shot for sure yeah and then filming the whole workout then legs then i'd like wave at the mirror bye did you speed it up uh some of it yeah i used to like to speed up my reel so much that it's almost like you watch it like now watch back i'm like why did i why didn't i just edit that down instead of being like oh i'll just speed that up times 10 to squeeze it all in have you considered a job in video editing yes i'd be excellent then i consider why brands were like we don't feel like to see our products like yes you can for one millisecond just there we're talking about then i love that around this time you're starting to meet these other youtubers yes talk to me about who was in the brick crew and at what point it started becoming like a thing in popular culture yeah so in the brick crew was zoe sug alfie days tanya burr jim chapman joe sug casper lee marcus butler and then sometimes they were i feel like i was like the outskirts of like sometimes I was in sometimes I was not in but that was I would say like the crook oh and Naomi Smart Marcus's girlfriend at the time so I would say it was around like 2014 or 15 that I started to think huh this isn't just people that make videos for fun like I was in Shout magazine and all the teen magazines had us on the front or articles about us we would go to these like huge conventions and people would like scream like the Beatles and I would look and think is that what oh it's it's us okay and I just look by the way I look so gormless in all the photos because everyone's like waving I'm like what's going who's here oh it's us and that was like very surprising because you have to remember in my home life I was looking after a toddler I was going through a divorce.

27:28I lived in like a little terrace house in the suburbs of Northampton, drove a secondhand bashed up Ford Focus. And then I would go to events and be screamed at and have like VIP treatment and be on the front covers of magazines. And it just was not marrying up. When you think celebrity, you think the whole celebrity lifestyle. But I was having a very normal like stay at home mum lifestyle. But then also this celebrity lifestyle. And it was really weird. And so at At what point did you start to make good money from it? I started to make good money. And obviously good money is all subjective, but good money to me means you can pay your bills, you can pay your mortgage.

28:05And then if you want to go shopping and spend whatever, not whatever you want, but if you want to go and have a great big haul on the high street, you can do that. If you want to book a holiday, that's comfortable for you. That to me is good money. Completely agree. Yeah. So I'd say 2013. And that also is when I realised if I wanted to leave my marriage, I could because leaving a marriage is hard. But leaving a marriage with no financial backup is extremely hard. And as much as I don't think money buys you happiness, money buys you choices. It's an amazing lubricant. So it allowed us to split our households quite quickly.

28:41I was able to rent somewhere for him to live and for me to stay in the home and to just get that going quite quickly. And not emotionally easily, but logistically easily. So that's when I know. If anyone ever asked when did that start making money, I know because that for me is like a little pinpoint, like a life pin. And do you think that blowing up on YouTube had an impact on you deciding to leave your marriage? Yes and no again. Sorry to keep saying yes and no. but I think there's always two sides of things. It was never YouTube that made me want to leave my marriage. It wasn't like, oh, I'm going to like quit this marriage because I'm going to be a YouTuber.

29:20Married to my fans. Yeah, I'm going to be married to my fans. I'm going to get myself a YouTube boyfriend. No, nobody wanted to go out with me from YouTube. Such a shame. It was seeing a different way of living and realising that in some scenarios I was really happy, in some scenarios I really wasn't happy. And sometimes you don't notice that you're unhappy. If you're unhappy gradually, like in my childhood, if you're being smashed in the face every other day, that's unhappy. But if you're in a relationship that very, very, very slowly and gently has gone downhill, it takes a lot to make you wake up and realize.

29:55And I realized that when I was doing certain things and I was away and I was like, huh, this makes me really happy. And that's what I was like. I don't think this is good for either of us. We're not bringing out our best, the best in each other. I was my best version of myself when I was at events, when I was doing YouTube, when I was away. and then I'd come home and not be a very different version. So I was like, I don't like the person I am being. And obviously as part of that group, the Brit Crew group, you were one of the only ones, if not the only one with a child. I was the oldest and the only mum, yeah.

30:27Talk to me about how you navigated that in general because it was a very different time. I mean, I remember that time because I remember that's when me and my friends started watching YouTube. Like that was very much when we were like, oh this is a thing and people watch these people and it was very like like pranks focused and like you know just like fun and like entertainment i never want to have ham on my face again

30:56and but talk to me about how you navigated that because i can imagine that's you know you've obviously just blown up on this you're basically developing a whole new career from what you thought you'd have but at the same time you know you've already said you're navigating a divorce But on top of that, you have a child and are the only one as part of that who does have a child. It's a blessing and a curse. The curse of it was I couldn't I never felt fully part of the group because I could never just be like totally free. It can never be like carefree and like, yeah, OK, I can come and hang out for three days.

31:25I can go on that trip. I can do all these things because time was so precious and limited. But also it was a blessing because I was I I never got swept up in things because I couldn't. like you're always very grounded when you've got a child that's like vomiting up on you in the night like it's hard to it's hard to like maintain that ego of look how special I am when you're like doing the nursery run in the pouring rain you know so I'm glad of that and also I think it made it easier to get out because motherhood was my main focus which now I feel like now the next topic is why did you want to get out yes well you've led me up nicely to this I've set that up well for you.

32:05Yeah, you're very good at this. How did you start to think, do you know what, despite all of the success that is going on here and all of the involvement in this like amazing cultural moment, this is not for me? Yeah. Well, first of all, I didn't know it was a cultural moment. I don't think any of us really knew the scale of it until afterwards. So whilst at the time it just felt like a really exciting, like wild ride. have you ever been on an amazing holiday it felt like I was just on this long amazing holiday and every time I thought oh that's probably the end of it something else would come up that we would all get to go and do that was really exciting and fun and as I I loved all of that I loved so much of it and there was so much fun like I can't tell you the experiences are just the laughs I've had like the things I never would have thought that like someone like me would ever get to do were amazing high highs but also low lows like being in hotel rooms far away from my baby like texting someone that I'm breaking up with like trying to arrange child care going I don't know you've never been through doors thankfully I hope you never have to but like all the legalities that the paperwork like it was just bleak and I just thought I can't I can't actually keep up with this I can't keep up with the speed I can't go to London and do pranks and do all the trips.

33:26I can't hide for 24 hours in a toy shop. I can't hide for 24 hours in toys in a box. I just can't do it. I'm claustrophobic Darren. Like I can't do it. I don't want to put ham on my face. I've done the household makeup challenge more times than I ever want to. And as my home life was becoming more and more mature, as in like I was adulting pretty hard. I was like doing like transfer of equity forms and had a solicitor and I was going through all this like stuff and starting to get dating I was on tinder like meeting guys on dates then being like what do you do and it's like well I make videos what about oh you know putting marmite on my eyebrows for fun like I just thought I this isn't me and I felt really fake and forced not with the people I really loved the relationships and the connections and that was lovely but the content I was creating just wasn't me like it was really hard to be being two versions and I never actually set out to be like a children's entertainer and I just thought all these teenagers are watching and I could carry on making this content for them and being like a bit wacky and silly but at what point are they going to be like it's just a bit cringy and weird if I feel cringy and weird now give it a couple of years and they will and then we're all just like where are we then yeah so I thought if I want this to be to have any longevity I really need to like nip this in the bud and change what I'm doing and so I made this video like end of an era I was like I so first of all I started to slowly phase it out but it was just really difficult sometimes you just got to be like no I'm changing so I changed my username which was sprinkle of glitter to Louise Pentland and I was like guys I'm divorced I'm dating I really want to talk about these things because these matter to me these are interesting to me and as much as I see the value in all the fun content that was being made by the creators it wasn't for me but I have no judgment for anyone that does make that because I'm like there is a place for that and there are people that should be doing that but it just wasn't me and how did you navigate that transition because I can imagine the obviously it sounds like very much the right decision I think it's also one of those things that you can look back and be like yeah that was right it was at the same time you were earning a lot of money you were you know getting a huge amount of popularity you're getting the the main thing that people on social media generally aim for which is lots of views and lots of kind of engagement and all of that was there a drop-off after the end of an era point yes yes there was which I thought there might be but I was like huh that's more than I thought it was gonna be because at the time I measured success in those numbers I was like oh no I've now dipped in success now I don't think of success like that but I remember we had a few brands that were like oh we don't want to work with her anymore we had one brand particularly that was really angry and was like you've changed everything you've like changed your branding and didn't tell us about this they were so cross I had a magazine a teen magazine rang my manager and was like well we're not going to put her in this magazine anymore and my manager was like that's okay she will survive That is kind of the point.

36:33But they seemed really like they were very cross about it. I was like, OK, I don't think people would be cross. So a big bunch of the teens dropped off, which completely understandable because I expected that. I was like, just so you know, stay if you want to. I'd love to have you, but I'm not going to be making that content that you want anymore. So if you do want to go, that is OK. So a lot of them did go, which is completely understandable. But then I found my new audience. You know, like your vibe attracts your tribe. I was talking about things that mattered to me that were as someone that was like mid to late 20s.

37:05And I found this new audience that was so engaged. And although it's always been smaller than that, like hysteria of the teenage years, it's so much more real. Because I'm like, oh, you're my people. I love teens. They're lovely. But they're not my peers. But these people were my peers. And so I absolutely loved it. And was there a drop off in income? initially yes because i wasn't making the content that was like serving teenagers but then it picked up again really quickly because actually like let's be blunt about it the people that have spending power are not 13 year old girls it's 25 year old women that have got a bit of disposable income or mothers or you know women so actually it was sort of a rough year but it was a great move because all the brand deals I had then, all the opportunities were much more authentic and also pretty massive.

37:59So thanks a lot. I really enjoyed that, yeah. What would you go back and say to the Louise who's like in the middle of all of the big height of success but there's a little bit of a disconnect in terms of like the way you want to be seen. So you obviously like want to be seen as a peer and as an adult and as someone who is navigating big life things and all of that. And obviously you're kind of being perceived as an entertainer. Yeah. What would you go back and say to that, Louise, in terms of how to design the future that you want? Honestly, I would just go and say, don't worry about it. You're going to make the right choice.

38:44There's lots of things I've done in my life, like I shared earlier, that I was like, oh, I feel so terrible about it. But I don't I feel like I made the exact right choice at the exact right time. It was 2016 when I was like, I'm I'm bowing out of this, but all the best to everyone else. And I really do mean that like all the best. But this I can't do this anymore. And I feel like that was exactly the right time because then I met Liam on Tinder, then fell pregnant, which was surprise. Like meet a man on Tinder, get knocked up. That wasn't in the plan. And then like life got pretty busy with looking after this baby, this surprise baby.

39:18I call her my best bonus baby I like that and I like that she has a theme tune as well Yeah That really makes me happy So talk to me about that because obviously you've got this audience You're still very much on social media Yeah things are going really well I was having a great time and then I was like oh I'm pregnant And so how did you deal with that with online I guess I just shared it online I was just like oh guess what plot twist here we are So basically, I haven't ever had like a massively, massively in-depth strategy other than just like to share as a go. So and it was like, oh, I've got this boyfriend who's dumped me.

39:53Then I was like, oh, I'm dating someone else. And fingers crossed it's going to go OK. It's going to be all right. And then I was like, oh, I am now pregnant. Thankfully, Liam was on board. So I did a pregnancy test on my own at home because I was like, I didn't even think I was pregnant. But I was actually on a shoot for Bloggers Fear magazine. Remember, they're called Be Creator Now. and on the shoot I felt really funny and someone said ah maybe you're pregnant and it was like in a film I was like oh oh my god actually I might just check that when I get in so every time I see that cover now I'm like she's pregnant did the pregnancy test I was like oh okay we are with child I will have to let Liam know but I was like whatever happens I will have this baby because I'm financially secure.

40:40I'm a strong person. I can do this. And this is why I think it's so important for women to have their own money, have a stash. I know it's a privilege, but if you can have a little stash of money for when your Tinder boyfriend knocks you up by surprise, you know, like have it on or any other emergency, you know, just have that there. Other emergencies are available. Yeah. Other crises are available. Not the pearls of crisis. But at the time I was like, okay. And then I told Liam, actually, I slightly lied to him because I knew that he'd always He's wanted to have children, but it hadn't happened for him.

41:11He's a bit older than me. It hadn't happened. And so I messaged him. I was like, when you come home from work, can you bring a pregnancy test? Because I feel a bit funny. I thought, well, I need to have this moment with him. I can't deny him this moment. So I thought, I'll just never tell him I've already done a pregnancy test. I'll start this on lies, on a bed of lies. Yes, love. Yeah, brilliant. Start as we mean to go on. That's right. So I did the pregnancy test. And I was like, you look, you tell me. And I can't look thinking, oh, now it's going to be pregnant. But I was like, you look, you look.

41:38and he looked he's like oh not pregnant I was like I was like oh so really there must be a glitch yeah I was like really look look again and he was like no it's two lines I was like oh I think that means pregnant he was like oh amazing and he was so happy I was like well that's a turn up for the books and so at this point I just bought a house for Darcy and I and I was like if you want to move your stuff in and stay here permanently i.e live with me and raise this child let's do it and he was like okay and it bloody worked out I love that I love how well that worked out I feel like I love that for me yeah no big fan of that but I also think that it's such a testament to the fact that we spend so much time trying to plan things perfectly yeah and you spend so much time being like you know this is how I'm going to build a family and right after uni and all of that and then that not necessarily working and it very much like falling into place now i just got really lucky with lian like we really really compliment each other he's very laid back about things he has his own career as police officer he's really passionate about that so we never we never compete for like who's the biggest and bestest but we're both quite driven in our own things so it's like very easy to support him and be happy for his success and he supports me and is happy for my success and we're both very on the same page with parenting as well which we just got lucky with I think we're both pretty we're pretty well balanced I'm saying all this and then we're going to get married next year but if we do get divorced I'll come back on and do like an update and do like it actually was never very good sorry yeah actually my auntie Judith was like never liked him even though I know I never liked him I knew from the start never liked exactly that The market's uncertain.

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44:09The real magic lies in the engine behind the scenes, the business powering their business. For millions of brands, that engine is Shopify, making selling seamless for them and shopping effortless for us. upgrade your business and get the same checkout aloe yoga uses sign up for your one dollar per month trial period at shopify.com retail all lowercase go to shopify.com retail to upgrade your selling today shopify.com retail and talk to me about your parenting style because obviously you didn't have an easy childhood at all and i can imagine that has a huge impact on then how you very intentionally parent yes what is your parenting style and how did you build that so I don't know the name of my parenting style I would say it is closest to gentle parenting but it's not I am a gentle parent but it's not gentle parenting in the in the definition that you might see in parenting books I would say I'm a respectful parent I really really respect my children as people because I felt like I lacked so much respect and so much of the abuse that I had when I was younger was because no one respected me so someone abused me and my dad neglected me because they didn't respect they didn't value me so I really let my children know I value you I respect you that doesn't mean I worship them or they're allowed to do what they want or they can walk all over me but if I demand respect from them they should also be demanding respect for me whatever the age so it starts with that so I parent with a lot of love and rather than like force and punishment if something goes wrong I'm more education and correction I do think that what you've said about respect is so so true I think it's like self-respect as an adult very much derives from respect given as a child and same with self-worth I think I was about to and worth and value yeah yeah because I think that like I don't know I think so much about how I want to parent my children and how much I want them to have that self-worth and that be given based on the fact that I have worth in them and I tell them over and over and over to the point that they build that up themselves because I think that that's actually one of the things that like as an adult I've realized that like no wonder I was so wishy-washy and all over the place and didn't necessarily like value myself if I you know didn't have that from a kind of you are great you are a very hard worker and you are a lovely friend and like all of these different things I think that it's it's very hard to understand those things about yourself when you haven't perceived that from anyone around you and the place you generally perceive that from as a child is your parents your family and I I think about that a lot because I think that there are some people I meet who I'm like I can tell your parents loved you a lot and they were so generous with their words and their love and all of that and it really reflects in how they think of themselves like you can tell I'm like wow I could not tell you a single thing about yourself and I do think self-awareness is important but like they have this unwavering sense of worth because it's been instilled in them that no matter what they do they are still worth xyz and they should be still respected and like xyz way and i do think i don't know i feel like it's just something i've been thinking about recently in terms of like that's really hard to build on your own yeah and really hard to be in a situation where you've like had to build that on your own so i often think about that in terms of a parenting context what you'll do now though is like really drill it into them and now i'm thinking like okay but i don't want to like make you i don't want to make you like really arrogant i want you still to be like humble nice respectful people so it's like finding that balance of like okay you are important you are worthy but you are not more important than someone else you are just as important as everyone else it's like i go back and forth on it all the time but i think it's generational because you know how now we don't say to girls you're so pretty you're pretty i do tell my children they're pretty all the time because i do think they're the most beautiful children in the world but i try really hard to find different language for them like you're such a good friend or when pearl will say something clever like pearl that is so clever that you thought about that and worked that out i'm so impressed by that and try and find different ways to praise other than like well you're so cute yeah even though honestly i want to squish their little faces in with my hands with love thank you like when you see a cat and you're like no i completely agree with that and i think that i actually saw this video the other day no idea where i saw it probably tiktok was on your mega markle app probably on my mega widget and it was it was basically it was someone asking it like with a parenting expert or psychologist or someone and basically saying you know i went through xyz i so want to build a wonderful family for my children like how do i ensure that this doesn't come through and this you know is what i'm able to build and all of that and i remember the expert just replied like the fact that you're thinking about this means you're going to be fine like the fact that you think do you know what i want to build their self-worth but i don't want them to be arrogant and i don't want them to not be self-aware and all of those things the fact that you think that means you're building that because there's no world in which you know you'd see that arrogance and not be like okay i tell you you're wonderful all the time and you are wonderful but that does not mean that person isn't wonderful and that you can talk to them like that or whatever it might be yeah i mean there's still loads of other little mess up things in my childhood that like i'm now I'm printing onto my children that I don't want to but I can't help like Liam always Liam's always like you've got such a problem I have so much food in my house my fridge is always so full things go off so quickly we have cupboards full of food and Liam's like you've got a problem but it's because food was something that was used as a weapon as a child so now I'm always like we must have like I can't just have like two tins of beans I need 20 to make sure that like if ever we needed beans we've got beans so I still do those things but I try not to let I try not to let my storm wet my children if you have don't let your rainstorm wet someone else I forgot what the phrase is that kind of gross the way I said that no but like try and look it up on Pinterest or something it's a bit better we could deliver it in an aesthetic quote yeah that'd be really nice like star wipe to the quote over my face no I really like that yeah yeah no I do think about it a lot and I feel like it's always a balance of like being able to make sure that you don't impress things on your children that are so far the opposite of obviously like what you went through and end up having different negative impacts but i think as well as a generation like we are so much more aware of these things and so much more aware of like even parenting as a concept so much more resource like i have a phone in my bag but i can find out anything i need to find out like my parents were pretty terrible my mum was lovely and loving but you know dying inconvenient but like they didn't have what we have now like ultimately our goal and i think our goal is the same is have children don't fuck them up have a good life and we have so much more at our fingertips to allow us to do that now yeah no absolutely and I think that it's always so complex and I think that the only thing that could ever make it more complex is also doing it online so I do also want to ask how you find the experience of parenting online because I can imagine that's a bit of a minefield yes it's a minefield online and it's a minefield in my mind that's a bit of a tongue twister there so the minefield online is probably the easiest thing to talk about and that is everyone's got an opinion everybody you could be the juiciest peach in the bowl and someone won't like peaches like you could say i parent like this and someone like you shouldn't do that so actually i don't actually share how i parent very often if you look through any of my socials now years ago I'd be like very much like I'm a parenting vlogger I'm going to share my parenting tips here's my hacks here's what I think you should do I don't do any of that anymore I'm just like I will stay in my lane I'm doing me you do you and unless I think you're doing something extreme you crack on but the children online thing is something that I think about all the time I have gone back and forth on this so much because it's so subjective and it's such a sliding scale that evolves.

52:36It's like playing a game that the rules change every year and you don't quite know where the goalposts are and you are trying to be as careful as you possibly can. That's how I feel like I'm living. And I've always tried to make choices with my children online that feel comfortable to us as a family, align with certain boundaries I've put in place and also what will they think when they're older. So certain parenting things I won't share online like for example potty training i appreciate that that's a really valuable thing for people to share because i watched potty training videos very helpful however i don't feel comfortable sharing a talk about my children's potty training jones you'll never know how they did with potty training i can assure you they are both potty trained and so am i and so am i just about i'm getting there i just won't share it because i think what will 30 year old darcy think when she is in an office perhaps and someone's like oh look there's a video of you that that's the potty your mum bought you like no I put a heart on Pearl's face the other day on stories and I had a lot of messages being like why are you taking offline I was like no but I know that that picture of her was not objectively flattering she had like some dinner on her face I was like I'm just not gonna put that version of her online it's my job as their guardian to make sure that either I don't put anything online or I put their best version online I don't share them when they're having a meltdown I don't share bad days I don't share I don't share what they eat I don't share their academic performances unless it's like amazing like oh Pearl did amazing at something I'll share it but I'd never be like one of my children has this issue when I just I just won't because I think that's theirs and there's so much so many times I thought I really want to share this thing I'm like actually that's that's not mine that's theirs however there will always be people that think I share too much because they don't share anything so it's so subjective there's other creators there's family creators I look at their videos and I feel deeply upset and uncomfortable because I think you are putting so much of your from a safety perspective from like a moral perspective from a maternal perspective I think I can't bear it I've cried over things I've seen online before I can't believe that's I can't believe you're doing this but then people will look at me and be like well I can't believe you're doing that you've shared Darcy's dance photos you've talked about Pearl's birth so that's something I play with all the time in my mind I think I worry about it I really worry about it and I think I'm prepared for them to come to me when they're older and say I'm not happy about that and I will the first thing I'll say is I'm so sorry and the second thing I'll say is every single choice I made I thought was for the best at the time and I thought I'd put the correct boundaries and like personal guidelines in place and if I got that wrong I'm so sorry but I've tried not to at the moment they're both pretty happy like pearl she's she's six darcy loves social media and i've said to a few times are you happy do you want to do this she's like i love it she wants to do more i have to rein darcy back because i'm like babes we can't you can't put that on the internet or like she wants to share a lot of dance stuff i'm like not in that we're not we're not putting leotards on like because she's 13 so she doesn't know so it's really difficult because i now have what's right to do but also Darcy being like I want more I want more I want to do more I'm like yeah what's I don't know what to do because we're the first people doing this like who else is older than me and has children that have grown up and gone through it and that can guide me no one we're like at the forefront of this new age and I'm just really hoping I'm getting it right and I'm not really like effing this up but I again I think it's one of those things that like if you're thinking about it and talking about it and willing to hold your hands up at points where you maybe don't get it right I feel like that's kind of the best we can do because you're right that like it hasn't been done before and everything hasn't been done before at one point and sometimes it was a terrible idea and sometimes it was a fine idea and you know I think that there'll be so many people as well that watch your videos that it does really help them in xyz way and actually if you didn't have that they wouldn't get that benefit and that will does it help my children that's what I have to ask myself but exactly but there's always there's always both sides to it and there's so many people involved that it's very hard to know at what point both sides come into play and what is the right decision but it sounds like the way you think about it is probably kind of the best you can do and whenever new information comes up you can respond as needed to that information but I can imagine what's well what I would find really hard I think and what I go back and forth on a lot in terms of like whether I'll stay on social media or like when I have a family or like you know whatever it might be you will you know you won't you will but I think it's like one of the things that makes me think about that more is the constant opinions like the constant opinions over like doing something right not doing something right like having to like should have made a better a decision all of that because I feel like it's so intrinsic for parents as people especially when like hopefully self-aware to be able to actually go back and forth on things and be like am I doing this right am I not doing this right like should I have said that like I have no doubt I'll beat myself like I do this all the time at work I'll have had a meeting with someone and it was you know it wasn't going to be a nice meeting and it was a difficult conversation and I'm like oh I shouldn't have said that like that and I should have said this like this and like maybe that would have upset them or made them feel like this and I can imagine just with parenting it's 10 times worse yeah but how do you deal I guess with so many different opinions at the same time as you're trying to navigate just doing a good job of being a parent okay so to deal with the opinions the first thing I do is filter what I'm reading so I'll read the comments on my social media platforms that people are leaving for me directly to me I won't seek out anything else I won't go on the websites that people can like share their opinions willy nilly i think if you've written it there it's not for my you've not written that for me what you know the phrase someone else's opinion is none of your business i really try and like think about that a lot if i read something that i initially think of as negative i'll look at it like what is the message in this is is this someone just being horrid or is this actually something constructive because sometimes people are like I'm not being funny, but blah, blah, blah.

58:56And you're like, first of all, no, you're not funny. But second of all, actually, that's like a help. That's useful. I can use that to my advantage. And I can use that to better myself or better my family situation. So thanks. But I think the key is you have to, have to, have to make sure that you are doing what you truly think is right for the right reasons. And when you're doing that, other people's opinions don't matter quite as much. if you're doing things maybe for the wrong reasons maybe an amazing brand deal has come in that's loads and loads of money but you've got to put your children in it in a way that you don't actually think is comfortable but it's a lot of money so you take the money that's when you're on shaky ground that's when like the opinions will that that would eat me up you have to be doing things for the right for the right reasons and sometimes that does mean you don't take the job you don't go to that event you don't do that particular thing because you're I mean it's so obviously this isn't groundbreaking but your family is more important than money and success isn't success doesn't equal the most money you can possibly have success equals the most stable loving good family you can have no i i think that's a good way of a good way of i guess addressing it and being able to filter through like what things you should be listening to and what things you shouldn't over the last few months you've had a bit of a i guess not career change but a career development in that you've massively blown up on TikTok.

1:00:23Late to the party. Hugely late to the party. But here I am. Here I am. I've got my shots and I'm ready to go until 10pm. Then it's bedtime. Tell me about how that's been, because I can imagine having like a second blow up moment has felt quite in such a different stage of your life. Yes, it's very cool. So basically, I thought I was too old for TikTok and I didn't really understand it. And everyone kept saying, go on TikTok. I was like, no, because I'm afraid of all new things. I'm actually a total melt. And the teenagers. No, teenagers are OK because I've got a teenager. And also, fun fact, I'm a theatre chaperone, so I chaperone teenagers.

1:01:03There's lots of teenagers in my life. They're OK. I'm just scared of new tech, which is ironic since my whole job, I make all of my money based on tech things. But I can't use tech. Remember, I couldn't edit. I didn't even know you could edit. still actually can't edit that well but I thought I'll give TikTok a little go and I started trying it I didn't really gel with it for at least a year but what I did was I consumed it for like two years I was like I the best way to start a new app a new social media platform is to understand it and to be a consumer of it and try it and you learn how it works so I did that and I was like algorithm i was like the algorithm knows the inside of my mind like it's witchcraft what it's doing how does it know that i like so many things i'm like how does it know i like this so much people squeezing soap yes have you seen it they cut it all up into little bits and then they go and they squeeze it and it all breaks apart fucking lovely it does sound amazing yeah really sold it to me yeah it's when i found poly pocket talk that i knew that it knew me i was like yes hello anyway then I was like I could make some videos on here much like the initials I could make a YouTube video started putting them on I thought this is my fun platform because this is my doesn't matter platform I make no money on here I've got no brand sponsors on here can do well say what I like no one cares this is complete freedom and then all of a sudden this audience came in and I was like where what is this it was all the teenagers that left YouTube when I was like I'm not gonna put ham on my face anymore I want to talk about grown-up things they've now grown up and I'm still talking about my grown-up things and they're like hi we're back and I'm like welcome back and it's like I've got all my like my little chicks back in their nest and we're having a great time over there because there doesn't seem to be any rules like don't need a thumbnail doesn't need to be glossy don't need to edit it you just string bits together say your things put it on and then all your people are there it is my favorite app and I went to a TikTok event and I was very excited internally externally I was like this but internally I was like and how has it felt I guess like having that you know moment again have you felt kind of like great cool I'm gonna lean into this more I'm gonna do more and more of it have you felt a bit scared about it because of what I guess last time no because it's not scary the people are really nice there because it's my old it's my like it's my sprinklerinos if you remember back in the day it's those people and if ever there is someone that's like a bit mean in the comments they're all like hey don't say that about louise i'm like oh thanks guys like i went to the nta a while ago and i wore this lovely dress and you know how people like do commentary on people's outfits this one guy was doing commentary and he was like this first of all he no that was someone else that thought was jemma collins sorry someone else like there's jemma collins in her blue dress i was like it's not it's not never mind but he was like oh here's louise pennant it's giving mum but he said it in like yeah and i was like oh and i made a video about it being like oh no well i am a mum and oh no what could i do to not give mum because on a red carpet i don't want to give mum i want to give well i don't actually know what i want to give but not not not like mum like mum but not mum there's a difference anyway everyone was so nice everyone's like you look lovely and they were like don't say that about louise she's our mother and i was like oh thanks guys that's right oh that's so lovely it feels like such like a full circle moment it does feel like a full circle moment i was like guys this is wonderful and i feel really like loved and now i'm like some sort of tiktok ambassador i was saying to charlotte on the train i was like charlotte you really need to get tiktok and all my friends at my age like i'm too old i'm like no no you're not we're on there find us it's very exciting oh well i'm so happy i think everyone else found this excitement in like 2020 no i was the exact same i was very late to it and i still don't consume it which is a real no you must it's a real issue i must not because i have real fixation issues and i will be found there 12 hours later grace have you heard of junk journaling my god There's women on there with stationary light you've never seen before.

1:05:25They are doing. Imagine a flat lay on crack. It's incredible. Will you send it to me? Will I send it to you? Yeah, I'll send you like a full deck of all the junk. I've started so many crafts. I've tried so many foods and I don't like to try new foods. My favourite food is beige, but I've tried other foods. I've even considered travelling and I don't like to go away because I find it very frightening. I've even thought about going to new places because of TikTok this is changing my life yeah well I'm so happy for you it sounds amazing and it sounds like a big yeah I will do make sure you come join yeah and my young journalist at Louise Pentland thank you and so tell me about the next stage of your career is there anything that you look at your career now and go like do you know what this is my career goal this is where I want to get to yes desperately clinging on no well actually yes or every year I'm like if I could just get through one more year that'd be so great if people still like me for one more year so that's always at the back of my mind because this is social media and it's fickle I would if I'm being serious about myself I would really really love to combine social media and traditional media so I already like dip my fingers a little bit in traditional media with like tv I've got a column in hello BBC Radio Northampton slot all those sorts of things but I would love for it not to be social media and traditional media but for it just to be media I would love to be doing more things on tv on radio I love my my books I've got a new book coming out next year so I would really like to just stay doing all the things I already do but just sort of like grow them a little bit into those areas I'm not very businessy you know like I know that you are so successful in business and so like strategic and clever with all of that my brain doesn't really work like that and when I try to i get really stressed out i did once try and scale things up and i had an office and had staff and i was terrible i was a terrible boss because i just want to be everyone's friend and i'm just a massive melt so like you know when you said business you have meetings with hard conversations i absolutely would not have a hard conversation i'm like you know what guys we're just gonna have to fold the whole business you know sorry very sorry i'll give you all all my money just go away never speak to me again and let's never talk about this again thank you thank you so much goodbye i'm gonna cry in the toilets now and shake for a while like it's not for me like business isn't for me so all I want to do is carry on doing what I'm doing maybe a little bit bigger and still be happy I love that that's all I want I think that's very important and I think that a big I think that especially with social media now there's so much aim towards the same things like it's like success has to look like the same thing for everyone it has to be something that all of us like all of us are trying to go for this type of thing all of us trying to go for this type of thing and that is what success looks like and I do think that actually what you've said about like what you're good at what you like and what you can make money from like the intersection of those things is an incredibly important thing to you know talk about and be aiming for and to know that like just because success looks like that for that person it doesn't look like that for me and you can choose what success looks like for you I think for the longest time I was like success is scaling up Success is saying you're a businesswoman.

1:08:41Success is having the most money, the most brand collaborations, the most projects, the most different streams of revenue. And I tried lots of those things and some of them were really successful. I've got a property portfolio that I rent out and I think I'm quite, I try to be like an ethical landlady. I've written seven books, all these things I've tried to do, but some things I've tried to do and I've just been absolutely garbage at and it's just not for me. And then I felt like a massive failure and been like, I've really let myself down, I've let everyone down. I'm not successful but you have to ask yourself what is success for you and initially if you go right back to childhood my success was just to have a happy safe family and I have a happy safe family and if I can maintain my happy safe family and I can provide for them I can pay my bills and have a bit extra to have some nice holidays and get my hair washed every week and you know come to London and do nice things that's enough for me that is success for me but that doesn't mean that I think that's the only form of success because success for example my dad is a businessman success to him is very financial I'm like yeah good for you crack on success means something different to everyone else and if we all wanted the same thing well first of all that would make competition very difficult but also be a little bit boring wouldn't it yeah no I completely completely understand that and I think that it's how everyone needs to be looking at it and I think it's often something that we discover along the way rather than kind of at the beginning it's very easy to be like I want to be in corporate I want to be you know business owner I want to be xyz and actually really being like okay cool do you like the five things that that's made up of every single day is important and not done enough and I don't think we had Barry on the line he'd be like corporate's not for Louise that would have been helpful from day one he should have said that in the interview shouldn't he should have been like you don't strike me as a corporate girly you know every day I would try and match my eyeshadow to my cardigan color and I felt like I was really smashing life.

1:10:31See, I think that's actually a very important part of corporate life. You would have smashed TikTok at that time, let me tell you. Oh my God. Imagine you every day going, here are the cardigans and eyeshadows I've worn this week. Yeah. And I went bold with a lot of those choices because I was on the front desk. I had that desk with the little glass bit. Yeah. Because I was the face of the business. Love. Yeah. It was a construction firm, so it wasn't super glamorous. But you looked glamorous. But I was there with my mint green eye shadow feeling like a badass so before we end i'd love to know from you what the best piece of advice is that you've ever been given oh my god okay the these are two little phrases that i always think to myself the first one is if you do what you've always done you'll get where you've always got so if you keep doing the same thing and getting the same results that's on you you need to change what you're doing you have to keep trying new things even though it can be very frightening especially if you're just a massive melt like i am you have to force yourself to try these new things and leading on from that the second thing is fortune favors the brave sometimes you have to do the brave uncomfortable things if you want that reward and i do want those rewards so i push myself out of my comfort zone which is very small as it is but you've really got to push yourself and you can do it if if people like me can do it and i'm not special i was just a kid from northampton that got bashed around a bit came out of it and thought i'd have a go at this if i can do this anyone listening can do anything that they would really like to do but you do just have to do it don't sit in your office job and be like oh i wish i had i wish i was that do it set up your youtube channels set up your floristry shop set up whatever you want to set up but actually do it no i love that i think that's great advice and thank you so much you've been amazing thanks for having it's been like a little therapy session i'm gonna go and a bag of maltesers and a cry just let it all out i love this i'll come with you i need a bag maltesers and a cry i said a bag of maltesers not a fag did you know i said a bag of maltesers too a fag maltesers and a cry no no no don't smart that's what we'll be doing next sponsored by I don't even know what a cigarette brand is Benson and Hedges they're not allowed to advertise legally oh that's why I've never seen any ads and that's a great extent and thank you for having me Grace this has been really brilliant thank you so much

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