Ep. 119 Experts On Exactly How To Improve Your Life In 2025 (Diet, Mindset, Work & More)

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1:27your impact can be bigger. Visit business.warmart.com to get started.

1:40What is up and welcome to the Christmas episode of Working Hard Hardly Working. If you are listening in your ears instead of looking with your eyes, we forgot that we were doing this today. So I'm not wearing a Christmas jumper. But in case you ask or you hear someone asking who's robbed the tarla Christmas tree. It quite obviously was not me. Everything will be returned. And in case you haven't realised, it is getting towards the end of the year. And if you are a type A planning obsessive like me, the end of the year is not just about presents and mince pies, it's also for making sure the year ahead is going to be fucking great.

2:13Back in summer, we celebrated our 100th episode of this podcast by creating an episode made up of the 10 best pieces of advice from the 100 episodes of the podcast so far. And it turned out that you absolutely loved it. And so many of you asked for more compilation episodes. So I thought, what better present to you to end the year with than a curation of absolutely everything that you need to know to make next year your best year yet. And let me tell you, I took this task very, very seriously. So I split it into the themes that we tend to want to improve about our lives every year and then found the perfect clip for each theme going all the way back to our very first episode so that you can feel like the absolute 10 out of 10 best version of yourself in January 2025.

2:56And in case you're sick with excitement about this episode and then terrified about what you're going to do once you've listened to this episode and you no longer can listen to it again, even though you could technically come back, don't you worry because not only have we done our 2025 step-by-step plan with me episode that is already out so you can go and listen to that and follow along and we can plan together. But also at the beginning of 2025, we have put together a series specifically designed to get you the best 2025 possible. So we will be starting the year, I'm not going to give too much away, but we will be starting the year, first episode back, with a direct step-by-step how to rebrand in 2025.

3:33Whether your rebrand is a tiny little rebrand or whether your rebrand is a full-on, like you're not just changing the logo, you're changing every fucking thing. And that is with someone really, really, really exciting. We know it's going to be a good one. Okay. I've actually already recorded the episode and it is so, so good. So we're starting off with that. Then we go into a solo episode special on discipline and how to make sure you are actually using not just motivation, but discipline to your advantage to genuinely change your life. Because we all know that it is very easy to set goals and get excited about them because you get the dopamine release from setting the goals and then not actually doing the steps to actually get them.

4:10And then after that, we have a great episode on mental fitness. And I didn't really know what mental fitness was, but essentially the best way to think about this is what mindset you need to be in to build your dream life. And this is not woo woo. This is not wishy washy. This is we're talking about mental fitness from a neurological point of view. We're talking about it from the way you build it every single day with an expert in the field. And so these episodes together are designed to make sure that you are going into 2025 feeling not just motivated, but but empowered with genuine, actionable advice to be able to move in the direction you want to move in.

4:48So if you don't want to miss those episodes, not only can you subscribe for free to this channel, and if you're listening on audio, you can also follow the podcast. I know I can't quite believe it's free either. Not only can you do that, you can also turn on notifications for new episodes so that you can also be notified, obviously, because that's what notifications do, that each one has come out. And then that means that you'll be going into January microdosing, not just motivation, but discipline and actionable advice on our entire spectrum of if you identify as very woo woo all the way through to I'm not woo woo at all.

5:24I just want to get shit done. And we cover all of those bases. And I have no doubt that you will enjoy every single episode because I yo-yo between that entire spectrum. And so we're just going to have such a great 2025. I honestly can't wait. I've been really looking forward to it for a while now because 2024, the end of it just slapped me right in the face and then like vomited on me and I need a new year. So it's going to be great. And very last thing before we get into it, I just wanted to say a huge, huge thank you to everyone who has listened and watched Working Hard Hardly Working this year.

5:54I really feel like I don't say it enough, but this podcast would not happen without you tuning in week in, week out, sharing episodes with your friends, sharing it on your story, commenting on our YouTube videos, commenting on the trailers we post on Instagram. I do not underestimate that there are so many podcasts out there. And I am the type of person who loves to go on a walk. And I love to listen to a podcast and nothing ruins a walk more than having a podcast set for that specific walk and you start listening to it and it's shit. So we have put so much into making this podcast the one that you can rely on to start your walk and know that it is going to be a good episode and you are going to learn something new every week and you're going to find new ways to improve your life.

6:37And it is such an honor that you have given me this opportunity by listening every week to be able to do that. We have experienced huge growth this year. We are a top 10 podcast for 140 ,000 people, which is just insane. And I am so, so, so grateful. So it's a huge thank you for all of your support of this podcast in 2024. I am going to give you 20 % off TPM for all your productivity needs, whether that is digital, whether that is the business course, whether that is diary or a planner. 20 % off with the code thank you for listening, all caps, no spaces. And if there is anything you could do for us, it is hitting the like, subscribe and review buttons or sharing an episode that you most loved with a friend.

7:19We are a tiny team of like two full-time people, me included, and loads of amazing freelancers. And it genuinely would be the best Christmas present that you could give us. So you could take that Christmas present off your list because I know you're going to get me one anyway. Right, before I get too supping and emotional, let's get into the actual advice. Here is everything you need to know to make 2025 your best year yet.

7:49We're starting with diet, not because it's the most important, but actually because so many of us get into a spin and set ourselves unsustainable goals surrounding diet when it comes to January, when a new year rolls around. So I've enlisted the incredible Emily English, also known as Em the Nutritionist, to give us all the pep talk we need to reset our attitude to nutrition next year? People separate eating and health. And you think of, okay, when I'm going to eat healthy, I'm not going to eat the foods that I know and I enjoy. And that for me is the downfall of everything. You do not have to change a lot about what you do to integrate nutrition and better choices into your lifestyle.

8:35And that's why when you go through my feed, you see pasta dishes stir fries lasagnas meatballs like whatever it is it's all recognizable food nutrition isn't buckwheat bread with I don't know some weird berry and sprouts for breakfast and fasting till 3 p.m every single day like it doesn't have to be this overwhelming change and I just think that's where it's all gone wrong it's as soon as I walk into a room and say I'm a nutritionist people automatically have a an assumption about who I am and what I do and they always ask me oh so like oh does that mean that you like don't eat pizza I'm like absolutely not like where does this come from and I'm really keen like my mission in life is to show people that they can integrate nutrition into their day and still enjoy it still be still be accessible and actually be something that they can sustain because if you're going to make a health choice or conscious health choice if it's not sustainable don't even bother because if you're going to stick to that for a month there's 365 days in a year and health is not determined by one day one week one month it's determined by consistency throughout your life and if you're trying to implement something that you know that you cannot be consistent with throughout your life drop drop it and so where do people start if someone's kind of had that approach throughout their whole life that like a diet is a diet and eating is completely is like something else and health is something else entirely how would you recommend them to start in terms of building that kind of relationship with food where it's intertwined with health but not so much so that I think a lot of the time we we equate health with being as small as possible as well so how does someone start to break those things down and have that kind of approach to food so it's about adding and i always say so many of us eat the same vegetables like everyone goes to the supermarket and they'll get their carrots their broccoli their beans their peas maybe a pepper and that's it and that will be their vegetable rotation.

10:51If you are able to diversify your diet, still make your spag bol, but maybe chuck in some lentils and some sweet potato. And if you're going to be having like a side salad as well, and the more you can add to your diet, the more you can ensure that you're getting in every single thing that you need. And I always say like color and diversity is nature's multivitamin. So the more things that you can get and add to what you already know, the meals that you already make that is the easiest and best kind of jump off point buy frozen as well it doesn't have to be organic from your local market and really expensive you can literally go and buy whole massive bags of like pre-chopped frozen peppers chuck them in your next stir fry a whole massive bag of like pre-sliced mushrooms like chuck that in your next breakfast it doesn't have to be weird and health driven for it to be healthy and it's it's take what you have and add what about when you know it's of like really poor nutritional value so ultra processed foods or abdominos yeah what's your approach to those so i always say you have to look at your diet from like a bird's eye view perspective and the the food is not controlling you you're making conscious decisions about what you put into your body.

12:11So if part of what makes you happy is a Domino's with your friends on a Friday night, fine. But what you're not going to do is build that up to be some massive thing that you feel pressured and stressed and guilty over. It's just a pizza. We know that ultra processed foods are not good for us. I will never turn around and be like, yeah, do you know what? Domino's fantastic, like great nutritional value. But if you do have that, or if that is something that you value and want in your life, you do not have to cut it out to be healthy. We all need to minimize our intake of them. And if we're looking at the overall pattern of how we're eating, just being a little bit more aware of like the total number of ultra processed foods that we're having, that's where you can actually make that valuable change.

12:58And just look at the bigger picture. It's not one ultra processed food determines all of your health. That's like saying if I eat like crap and I have one salad once a week, then I'm going to be healthy. It's vice versa. Like if I eat really well and have one pizza in that week, then I'm unhealthy. That's just not true. Of course, patterns, repetitive behaviors. If you're literally getting to three o 'clock after not eating properly in the day and you suddenly raid the ultra processed foods in that cupboard, we need to start thinking about how you're eating around the rest of the day and and stop that kind of afternoon slump pitfall which so many people have like that's the point when people are on a diet they won't eat proper breakfast or they'll skip breakfast they'll have a tiny little salad for lunch it doesn't have enough protein and fiber and they don't even enjoy it then they'll get to three or four and they'll be like I'm absolutely ravenous I'm starving I need to pick me up and it's the crisps it's the chocolate it's the sugary drinks and like people use that as their kind of like they get so desperate that they have to start to rely on it whereas if you actually started your day with a lovely big breakfast full of protein lots of color and diversity ate properly so it's to fuel what you need take your lunch again it can be something that you can prep we're lucky as well we have loads of fantastic grab and go healthy options now but have something that satisfies you think about how you're going to feel after your meal and then you'll notice that that afternoon stump doesn't have the same control over you anymore the the chocolate doesn't scream your name being like please eat me like suddenly it becomes oh do you know what it's I don't actually really fancy that chocolate or I'm gonna have that chocolate and I'm fine it doesn't become this level of desperation I think you always have to think about when it comes to nutrition how does food make you feel and that is one of the most important things when it comes to changing your nutrition and also making better food choices throughout the day.

14:56Emily is so straight talking, so honest and open and transparent in that episode and I absolutely love it. Her recipes are incredible and we've added links to her favourites in the show notes of the episode if you are wondering what to have for dinner. I told you we were doing this by theme so next is money, finances, moolah and the clip is from my episode with the amazing Simran Kaur, founder of Girls That Invest. If you are anything like me, you will set financial goals every year. And the hardest part of setting those goals is knowing where you're at and how well you're actually doing. So I asked Sim exactly that.

15:30And she had some great advice on what to prioritize when you're sorting out your finances. When it comes to trying to decide, do I have myself set up? The first thing is asking yourself, do I know my numbers? Do I know what my income is, which a lot of us do, but do I know what my outcome is? Do I know what money is leaving my account every month? Can I tell you, if you asked me, Sim, what my bills are for the year? I sat down and I worked out my bills. It was$50 ,000 per year. And I was like, that's a lot. I hate that for me, but at least I know it. And I know that I just need to make a little bit more than that to, you know, not be in financial trouble.

16:08The second thing that you want to ask yourself is, do I know what my debt is and how much debt I have? If I can sit down and list it out, even just knowing what it is and having a plan for it is a good place to be. Because when you have debt, if you ignore it and you put it, you know, you put your head in the sand and you're like, I'll just deal with it another day. It just keeps growing and growing and growing and it snowballs. And I remember I would get parking tickets that I just didn't want to pay out of stupid principle. Like just, I was like, I wasn't there for that long. And that would start to snowball.

16:44This was when this was in college. And, you know, that's not a healthy place to be. And I am so embarrassed by it. I mean, I had like debitors coming to my parents' place being like, this girl owes$80. Like, where is she? I was like, it's just$80. Leave me alone. But, you know, learn from my mistakes. I think the third thing to know if you're doing well financially is if you are spending less than you earn and you are investing the rest, that is a really, really healthy person financially. And that sounds really simple. But if you are making a hundred thousand pounds per year, and if you are, congratulations, that's huge.

17:23But if you're spending a hundred thousand pounds and making a hundred thousand pounds, you're not going to do well because you're going to be stuck in the cycle of always needing to earn more and the person making 30 ,000 pounds a year but spending 20, she's going to end up with a retirement fund that she can actually retire on and she's not going to have to keep fighting her way up. I'll give you one more that I find really helpful. When I get stressed about am I doing well financially? Am I comparing myself? What can I do to make sure everything's set up? Having automated systems with your money, having your bank account set up in a way that you get paid and you get paid on Monday and every Monday,$50 goes into your short-term savings account.

18:09$100 goes into your long-term savings account. $70 goes into your bills. And then another one goes into a account just to spend and have fun with. That's someone that has their life together. And if you can say, oh, I've ticked off like three of these things or four of these things, you're actually doing really, really, really well financially. Obviously, Sim's advice is incredible, but her voice is so calming too. We spoke a lot about investing in that episode, but we also did a real deep dive on debt, the shame around it and how to get out of it, which I really recommend listening to if your aim next year is to tackle some debt.

18:44And now, from debt to dating. Michelle Elman's advice on the attitude you need to have towards dating was so good. I sent it to about five of my friends as soon as we recorded it. She explained why I want to find a boyfriend or a girlfriend this year might not be the best outlook. One of the first tips I give anyone who's going out there before you even start dating is write a hundred reasons why someone wouldn't want to date you. You need to know what you bring to the table so that someone else can't walk in the room and tell you who you are because you need to know who you are exactly and if someone walked into my life and treated me like I wasn't good enough, I would be able to go off the top of my head.

19:23Well, I have this and I do this and I'm this kind of person. And that's why I am a valuable person today. And if you're not going to treat me the way I deserve, then I'm going to go find that from someone else. Yeah, or it's just not a good match. I feel like this is the whole thing. It's the same with jobs. It's the same with dating. It's the same with all of these things. The chances that you are going to meet someone and you actually be a good match are lower than the other way around. And I think we have this perception that it's going to be you know that it's more likely that you do meet someone that you get on with or whatever it might be like why would that be the case like that makes absolutely zero sense yeah and also one of the pieces of the puzzle is that when you go on a good first date and then they don't call you back you see that as a failure so it's what you're describing as failure that's creating this mentality in your head but if you had a really nice evening out maybe you tried a new restaurant together or you went to go see a film that you actually wanted to see together why is that a failure if you walked away from that date learning something new about someone and maybe they've taught you more about bouldering was one of the dates I remember he taught me so much about bouldering and I knew nothing about bouldering how is that a failure if you walked away from the date going oh I realized I actually wouldn't be a good match with someone who's that active and wants to go on like trekking adventures how is that a failure you've learned something new about your dating life and so I think lowering the bar of what's considered a failure but also just walking into the dates with natural curiosity, where you don't have to love the person.

20:49You don't have to like the person. Just be curious about the person in front of you. And I genuinely believe that you can learn from every single person you interact with, but you have to be curious enough to actually ask the questions. And I think that's where if you go on three first dates and they don't turn into something, if you're going on with a different intention and the intention isn't just get an official label out of it, a girlfriend, boyfriend label or whatever. And instead it's the intention of on this day, I want to ask more questions. On this day, I want to be 10 % more myself.

21:22On this day, I actually want to show up with no makeup and see how that makes me feel. You can actually improve your dating life in a way that a lot of people don't. And the reason why I say that is because a lot of the time when people go, oh, I want to date more. I want to get more matches, the first thing they do is think of an aesthetic change. Oh, this is why I need to wear more makeup. This is why I need to get a new outfit. No one actually thinks about the personal development that's required to find a romantic match. Michelle's story is incredible. Our episode is from over a year ago now, but I really urge you to go back and listen to that one if you want to reinstate some boundaries next year.

21:58She's known as the queen of boundaries for a reason. So if that is something you need to improve on in 2025, give that episode a listen. The market's uncertain. Revenue's tied and hiring on hold. That's why results-driven companies are using Upwork to keep work moving. Go to Upwork.com today and start hiring proven freelance talent fast. No bulky overhead. No rigid long-term contracts. Just the right expert right when you need them. Work smarter and faster with Upwork. Go to Upwork.com now and find your freelance expert. That's U-P-W-O-R-K.com. Post a job for free and get started today. What's up?

22:36Grace from the Working Hour Podcast here, and I want to tell you about something exciting. You're watching every dollar, and Walmart business helps you stretch each one. From office supplies to snacks and cleaning gear, you'll get everyday low prices, plus easy bulk ordering and fast delivery. And with tools like spend tracking and multi-user accounts, staying organized is simple. Save time, money, and hassle at business.warmart.com. It's free to sign up. Have you ever loved your HR or payroll software? Didn't think so. Deal changes that. It's one global AI native platform for HR, IT and payroll built in-house and backed by 2000 plus experts in 130 plus countries.

23:14It keeps you compliant, it scales as you grow, and it's actually nice to use. Book your demo at deal.com slash serious. That's D-E-E-L dot com slash serious. This links very nicely to our next subject, which is mindset. There was only one person I could use for this clip, Marie Forleo. I was not the only one who was completely obsessed with her everything is figureoutable framework. There were so many, but this clip isn't her framework. It's the part where she talks about the mindset that changed her life. If you're in a job you hate or wanting to make any type of change next year, have a listen to this.

23:49I also wanna talk about a big mistake that I made in this time period that once I got this lesson, this has really helped me especially thrive as an entrepreneur because as you know, there's parts of our business where you do need to stick it out. You may not like it. It's super not fun, but you got to get that grit. You got to strap yourself in and be like, I am in this for the long haul. I'm going to fight through to get to the other side. And I have that piece of me too. Here's what it looked like in bartending. So when I knew I wanted my coaching business to thrive, and I knew that that was like a piece of my path.

24:19I remember every time I would go to the bar, I frigging hate my job. I was like, oh, I can't wait to get the shift done. I was just like a cranky little pain in the ass. Didn't really want to talk with my customers, was like writing things down about my ideas of what I would do when my shift was over. And I realized that then once I got home from my shifts, because I was complaining for the last six hours, hating what I was doing, I had no energy when I came home to then work on my business. And I realized and had this epiphany. I was like, oh my God, you know, practice makes permanent. What I was practicing was being whiny, complaining, and dissatisfied.

24:56And I was like, I need to shift this from the inside out and I need to shift it right now because the way I'm going, I'm not going to have the energy to build this business that I know can be something great. And so I started showing up with a new ad. I'm like, I'm going to be the best band bartender that New York City has ever seen. And like, I'm making dirty martinis like nobody's business. I'm putting everything perfect. I'm doing my orange twist. I'm like making this an art form and I'm making people feel like I am literally so happy to serve them. They don't want to do anything else. They want to hang out at the bar.

25:29And Grace, that one practice of training myself to show up, even though I knew it wasn't going to be my career for long, but to practice bringing this joy and this presence and this excellence, that helped me break that pattern of being almost like a whiny little brat. And it started to open up my creative channels, my stamina, and my ability to really work on my business outside of my bar shifts, and it changed everything. And it's just the simple notion that we have these incredible brains and this fact of neuroplasticity that we can actually rewire our brains. Like that is a scientific fact.

26:04And one of the most beautiful aspects of it is that it's underpinned by something simple that we all know how to do, which is repetition. Repetition is really how we rewire, right? So neurons that fire together, wire together. So by you saying that every single morning, these neural pathways, which are more like neural highways, especially for those of us. And again, I have like my cranky side, the frustrated side where it's like, oh, no, it's going to take some effort, like going to the gym every day and doing those incredible bicep curls or your pushups or your squats or your burpees or whatever the hell that you do.

26:39But it actually works. I have a version of that that I do where I have a vision that I've written now. And I say it out loud, how grateful I am for all of these things that may not yet be true. And same thing, when I'm saying it out loud, there's a part of me who's like, this is fucking crazy. And then I'm like, but this is awesome. And I wind up just closing my little book and I'm like, dude, we got this. And when the shiitake hits the fan, because it does every day, someone gets sick, someone's quitting, XYZ goes wrong and you're the boss and you've got to deal with it. you got to keep your head on straight.

27:12And your energy, as you know, infects everyone. And so your ritual that you do in the morning that you feel like, I feel like a lunatic doing it. Same thing to me. I'm walking around with my journal, like marching around my house with my coffee, saying these things, but I end up feeling fantastic and it works. And this has worked for me for so many years and it's so simple, but it's easy for us to forget it. I'm like, oh, I'm actually the creator here. I'm the one that whipped up this whole little business. I'm the one that whipped up all of these projects. I'm the one who orchestrated this whole thing.

27:44So if I created this Mishigas, I can uncreate it if I want. It's like I'm actually the boss of this. And that gets me in a really good humble position. I swear Marie is like the human embodiment of my inspirational quotes, same folder on Instagram. And I honestly can't listen to her without wanting to run to my desk and just keep going, which feeds very nicely into our next topic, which, you know, it's almost like we planned this. Our next topic is work. A few months ago, we had Kruti Patel-Goyal on. She is the CEO of Depop, who has worked her way up through big corporates to the top job. If you are aiming for a promotion this year, her advice on what to prioritize was really refreshing, open, and honest.

28:25I'd love to know what you think made you the type of employee that your superiors would feel safe giving you departments or roles that you hadn't had experience in before? Like what were those traits that you had? Kind of at the core, what I was always focused on is what's the biggest problem that the company is dealing with that I can help solve? And I think it's that attitude or that approach that probably was the biggest factor in my ability to take on all of these new opportunities. That and that, you know, I went into each of these new roles. I really dug in and learned these new areas of the business that I hadn't worked in before.

29:06And I was able to help solve problems that hadn't been figured out, right? The fact that I was successful at solving some of these problems or figuring out some of these new areas of complexity for the business was also a factor. I often give people advice, the advice that instead of focusing your career development conversations on how do I get to the next level, focus your conversations on what's the most important problem that I can help you, my manager, solve. Because then when the next problem comes up, you are going to be the person that they think of to take that on. And it's a very different orientation to growth.

29:42Instead of what's in it for me, how can I contribute to solving something really important? And then the other piece is just being willing to take the risk. You know, at each of these junctures, I could have let the fear of failure keep me from trying. But if you don't try, you don't know whether or not you're going to be able to overcome the obstacle ahead of you or, you know, succeed at that next challenge. And so you can also let that fear of failure really drive you to work harder and give you the chance to see what's possible, what you can do. I also want to add in a little extra clip on this topic because I think they go together so well.

30:20Amy Lentz was such a brilliant guest and I thought her advice on how to know whether you're in the right job was so brilliant and especially good for anyone who is thinking of a career change next year. I feel like I am in the right job because I'm energized by it. I don't feel depressed. My heart doesn't race when my boss calls me. My colleagues are respectful. I think it comes down to what you value. So you need to have awareness on what you value and then making sure that that aligns with the company. A lot of the time when people say they're burnt out, it's not the number of hours they're putting in.

30:53It's a value misalignment. So I think figuring, writing down, I value. For me personally, I value autonomy and flexibility and accountability. I value kindness and feeling respected and working for people that I respect. I value feeling fairly compensated. I value you just write down everything separate from your job and then you compare it. If there's so much misalignment, I don't think you're in the right job. But I also think it goes back to where do you want to go? Do you want to just be in a job that you don't hate so that you can pay your bills and then have a ton of energy because you're not pouring all of your energy into a job so you have a ton of energy for outside of your job?

31:36For some people, pay really isn't their top priority. And so I think a lot of people might think, well, of course I want to make more money. But do you really want to make more money if you have to give up all of the things that you like about your job? So I think it's self-awareness in your goals and your values. We're now moving on from work to health. I've had a lot of health professionals on the podcast. So if you're looking to go on a health journey this year, I'd really recommend the episode with Dr. Helen O 'Neill, Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, Professor Steve Peters, Dr. Tim Spector, and Dr. Hazel Wallace.

32:09This clip is slightly different, though. It's from Radhi Shetty, a former NHS nutritionist who studies in the ancient art of Ayurvedic medicine. Her point on the importance of listening to your body is something I'm taking into next year for sure. We are all told from such a young age, from pretty much the moment that we're born, and this isn't me saying we shouldn't listen to doctors, but that we're told whenever you have health issues, don't listen to your body, go to a doctor. Whenever you don't know something in school, ask your teacher. When you want to figure your finances out, go and ask finance manager, whatever it is.

32:43I think we're constantly told to give our power away over and over and over again. And so the disconnect comes because instead of being told, sit with yourself and listen to what your body is telling you. Where do you feel pain? Where do you notice that when you're eating something, how does it make you feel? Does it make you feel lethargic? Does it make you feel happy? Does it make you feel energetic? We're not told to do that. and so we constantly feel that oh I feel like I've got a cold coming on let me quickly run to the doctor so we can so they can diagnose me and tell me what's happening and then on top of that you throw social media in and with social media someone says you know what this is the best salad that you will eat in your whole entire life it will change you in every possible way you will get six-pack abs from this it will give you all the nutrition you need and so you think oh I'm gonna eat this salad and it's gonna do the same for me and so you eat that salad and it makes you feel terrible but you're like no this person has said it's going to give me six pack abs I'm going to eat the salad every single day and so instead of listening to what our body is telling us we start to dampen that voice and we start to make everybody else's voice louder than ours to the point that you keep eating something over and over again and it starts creating bad health in your body but we don't even realize because we're not used to listening and hearing the symptoms of our body and so I think that process of coming back to ourself and allowing our voice to be louder our body's voice to be louder than everything else around us is a really important place to start your the beginning of your health journey and the beginning of I think like the start to good health is is connecting back to yourself by listening to what's happening in your body.

34:23So anyone who's listening to this who thinks oh that sounds a little bit like me or like maybe I maybe I am feeling quite disconnected from my body or maybe I you know I just haven't been in touch with myself and I don't really know what to do if I am feeling a bit sick or whatever I do just run straight to like the medicine cabinet what would you recommend for someone to get better in touch with their body yeah I would the first thing I would recommend is let's start off with food because a lot of us feel just like feel like we don't know what we should and shouldn't be eating I would recommend starting from observation and so I think that's the best way to start whether it's your mind or your body or your heart, start with observation.

35:00And what I mean by that is go through your day. And if you're starting with food, write down what you're eating and then notice at that moment in time, how did it make you feel? And three hours later, how did it make you feel? Because a good indication of whether food is sitting well with you or not is food should be providing us energy. It should be making us feel energetic and like we can do everything we want to do throughout the day that we can use our body in the way that we want to. And so if you're eating a bowl of rice and it's making you feel lethargic and tired afterwards that's either an indication that your body's not digesting it properly or that this food not saying rice does that but if you had eaten rice and it made you feel like that that this food isn't necessarily something that is benefiting you how it should and so having an having that observation for like a week where you are sitting and writing down the foods that you're eating and how it's making you feel and then you can kind of that can pour into every other part of your life when I'm spending time with these people how did it make me feel when I'm in these environments how does it make me feel when I'm doing my work and my job or these workouts how am I feeling and so it's a constant point of reflection and observation that keeps circling back and if you think about it that's honestly how you interact with a partner you see what makes them happy when you see what makes them happy you do that more when you see what makes them sad you try not to do that again and so a Essentially, when you think about yourself, think about yourself as you dating a partner and see yourself dating you.

36:27How can I get to know myself better? And on the one extra part I will add is how does it make me externally feel? Because a lot of the foods and the things that we are eating, we don't realize that there are so many micro things that happen externally. That is an indication. Actually, it's our body screaming. Our skin and our hair and the external body that you see is the last layer of seven layers of tissue in our body, which means that when it gets to the face fronting part of us, it's your body screaming at you saying, hey, I need you to listen to me. So I'm going to show you that something is not right right now.

37:03And so our physical symptoms are also really important to be looking like, how does my skin feel? Is it dehydrated? What's happening to my skin right now? How does my hair feel? So many different things that we're used to just getting that we just get used to versus seeing it as indication that my body's telling me something. Radhi had such a beautiful way of speaking. Our conversation is one that I will genuinely remember forever. And in fact, this wasn't in the plan. But let me play you this gorgeous bit on aging as I feel like it is very fitting as we go into next year. In a lot of cultures, we say growing old versus getting old.

37:39And the difference between the two is growing old is like you think of it as something where you're expanding. You are learning more. You are creating more in your life. Whereas getting old is a negative form of that where you're like, oh, I'm just getting old and it's getting on and I'm baking inside and baking outside. You know, it's just constantly a negative aspect of growing older. And so I've battled, you know, I've been in the U.S. for seven years now. and I'd say it's been really difficult to keep coming back to myself and remembering I don't need to get any of these treatments I don't need to get any of these you know things that are gonna make my face look like I've been shocked for the rest of my life I don't need to do all of those things for me to be happy and I think the way that it cut the way that I have to keep coming back to myself is one at the end of my life are people going to say how tight my skin looks or are they going to say what kind of person I was I know that's like feels like a cliche but it's so true every day I have to be like do I want to look at myself in the mirror 30 times a day and keep telling myself all the things that are wrong and strip myself of the joy that I could be feeling right now or am I going to obsess over looking at myself over and over again telling myself what's wrong with me and so I guess the balance is what is bringing you joy in your life is eating the way that you are eating bringing you joy in your life and I don't and by the way joy doesn't mean let me eat everything and feel good in the moment and feel terrible after joy means it's a longer process it's like am I going to feel good now and later and so it's not about eating anything that you want whenever you want I think part of feeling joy in your life is restriction is the ability to say no to things because do you want to control how you live in your life and how you eat or do you want the food to be able to be in control of you and that's the same with anything in our life like do you want your plastic surgeons to be in control of how good do you feel or do you want to feel as good as you want about how you feel?

39:32And so I think I keep coming back to that notion of one, this body is so temporary. But two, this body is a vessel that I want to look after in the best way possible to be in service of others. And three, how do I feel when I'm eating these things, being around these people, living the life that I'm living? Is it bringing me joy and joy for the other people around me that I love? I feel like there's always this two sides of everything, right? You can go past one point and it becomes sour and bitter and you go the other way and it can go sour and bitter too. And so there's a beautiful balance that you have to learn for yourself that creates these moments of joy.

40:12And look, it's never going to be stable. Like joy is not something that just stays constantly. You will go up and down and flow all over the place because that's just what growth and learning is. But that's part of growth and learning about yourself is seeing what those little bouts of, what does bring you joy in your life and doing more of that. And yeah, I think that's just, that's how I really try to navigate. The market's uncertain, revenues tied and hiring on hold. That's why results driven companies are using Upwork to keep work moving. Go to Upwork.com today and start hiring proven freelance talent fast.

40:46No bulky overhead, no rigid long-term contracts, just the right expert right when you need them. Work smarter and faster with Upwork. Go to Upwork.com now and find your freelance expert. That's U-P-W-O-R-K dot com. Post a job for free and get started today. And finally, this is getting quite meta, but my final life theme is planning. I know, it couldn't be a Grace Beverly compilation without some kind of planning chat. But this is from one of my favorite episodes of the year with Gemma Spegg, which was filmed on a hot summer's afternoon where we were both kind of delirious. But Gemma's take on making five-year plans was not delirious at all.

41:31In fact, it's really, really stuck with me. What do you think about five-year plans? Like, should we be having a five-year plan in our 20s? I don't believe in it. And I know some people will find that controversial. I think it is a great exercise in terms of value refinement and really thinking about what your ambitions are, but I actually think that it's better to do this exercise instead, which is think about a day in five years time in your life. And I want you to think about it in as much detail. Where are you waking up? What are your bedsheets like? You know, what's your morning commute to work?

42:05What do you, what's your office? Where are you going to work that day? What emails are you replying to? What does your space look like? Who are you getting lunch with? What are you, who are gonna have dinner with in the evening what does your nighttime routine look like if you had to do anything that evening like what would make you happy in five years time to be doing think about that instead instead of being like here I need to have thirty thousand dollars saved like a crazy amount and I need to have gotten this number of promotions I want to be manager and I want to be engaged maybe that one is one that you should think about because you know that's an important like family planning thing but in terms of like more career and finances and things like that I think putting too much pressure on yourself to have it all figured out in this like block of time actually doesn't help you because it makes you feel so much more restricted and I think also it just feels like such a big task it's such a huge thing that you want to do that sometimes it doesn't feel present.

43:10Does that make sense? Like, yeah. Can you really incorporate that into your daily life? Sometimes no. Yeah. And I think that's so interesting because a lot of the time we talk about financial freedom because of what it leads to. Like, so we talk to talk about the fact that I want that money because I want to be able to decide what I do with my time or I want that money so that I stop feeling anxious about my bank account or like whatever it might be. And I like the way you've laid that out because essentially what you're doing is the the result of the end goal, not just the end goal. Exactly. Like rather than being like, I want to be manager because I want to be manager.

43:39You don't want to be manager because you want to be manager. You want to be manager because you are higher up the hierarchy, because you've kind of got more experience, because you're earning more, because you feel more fulfilled, like all of these things. You don't just want to be manager for the sake of it. And you don't just want 30 ,000 pounds for the sake of it. Exactly. You only want those things in relation to what those things bring you. So I really liked the idea of outlining. therefore if I got that what does that mean to me and I think that like I think you can absolutely I don't have you know an issue with say like vision boarding as long as it considers that like it's not just about getting that manager title it's about what that means for the rest of your life in terms of as you say when are you waking up how are you getting to work like what's your situation i think the other thing is i i'm sure like i think about my life five years ago there was no way i would have thought that this is what it was going to be like and if i'd followed my five-year plan from five years ago because i i did have one i would be like i don't know working for like a political party probably and i would be like interning like with at a government agency like i wanted to be a politician i see that yeah well i thank you but I'm also kind of like I don't say it in a bad way yeah thank you because I'm like I'd like you to be a politician rather than the politicians I mean I'd like you to be one as well thank you my god it's the next no enough I loved my chat with Gemma so much she is the host of the amazing psychology of your 20s podcast we mentioned doing a part two and I really think we have to make that happen after listening to that back personally maybe just me but let me know if you'd And that is it.

45:24As I said in our last compilation episode, I literally have to be physically restrained by my team from making these episodes 10 hours long because I like to think there is so much incredible advice in the archives. But at least that means that there is more for the next one. Let me know what other topics that you would like me to pick out clips on and do specific compilation episodes. I was thinking a health specific one could be good or maybe one with the best business tips or finances or talking about your 20s, whatever it might be, or you you know, working motherhood, all of these different ones.

45:54Let me know any specific topics you'd like a compilation episode on because we have a lot of advice in here. And sometimes I even go back and listen to things because I enjoyed recording the episode so much and learned so much from it. So if I do that and I was there and then I had to review the episodes and then I had to listen to about 50 times until I think it's absolutely terrible, then you definitely do. Really, really thank you so much again for watching and listening this year. I won't get all soppy again because I've already done that. But it honestly really, really, really does mean so much.

46:19and if you do enjoy it at all, please leave us a lovely review. It would mean the absolute world and it would make our two team members very happy, me being 50 % of them, so I can talk for myself. Will it make you very happy? No, let's see. There you go.

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