Ep. 135 Why Your Procrastination Stems From A Fear Of Success & How To Fix It

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1:43What is up? I'm Grace Beverley and welcome back to Working Hard, the podcast-shaped guidebook on how to improve your own life and achieve what you actually dreamed of doing because life's too short for boring podcasts and bad advice.

1:56It is that time of the month again. It's steep dive episode time and as always I have done a ton of research and spoken to experts so that you don't have to sift through all of the self-improvement information out there. The idea is that these episodes are a shortcut to theories that could genuinely help you to level up your life and you can get them all in in one walk or while doing your dishes or your commute. And today we're talking about a big one which is procrastination. Look we all do it. We push tasks to the last minute, scroll endlessly instead of tackling what's in front of us or convincing ourselves that we'll be more productive later.

2:26We then shame ourselves for being lazy and the negative self-talk spiral begins. But in this episode, I want to get into why procrastination isn't really about laziness. It's a deeply ingrained behavior with psychological roots and avoiding it is a skill you can learn and practice and get better at. So we're going to break down why we procrastinate, the science behind it, and most importantly, how to overcome it with practical, actionable strategies that you can get into your every day so that you stop spending so much time procrastinating and then get annoyed at yourself about it. If you do enjoy this episode please follow our podcast on whatever app you're listening on.

3:00Only 12 % of our listeners actually follow us on the platform probably because it's not something you automatically think about but if you do you get an episode drop every Monday without even thinking about it which in my opinion is the perfect kind of habit to start the week with. And you can also now very excitingly follow us on Instagram at workinghardpod. No spaces obviously it's Instagram. I really wanted to create a space for everyone who has listened to the podcast over the past three years now to chat, share ideas, keep ourselves accountable, talk about a lot of life improvement theories and celebrate our wins as well.

3:29I feel like this podcast has grown so organically through your guest suggestions, topic suggestions and it made so much sense to me to give it a home on Instagram and for the community really to be able to live this life improvement together. We're launching so much exciting stuff over there in the coming weeks including a 10 out of 10 giveaway so make sure to give us a follow. Okay that is all of the promotion over Now let's get into the context.

3:55Procrastination is something that we all experience, yet it is one of the most frustrating habits to break. We know we should be working on something, but we find ourselves stuck in a loop of delay and distraction. It's easy to think procrastination is about being lazy and we just suck at time management from time to time, but in reality, overcoming it is much more about emotional management than time management. Research that we'll get into later in the episode shows that more often than not, procrastination is driven by fear. Fear of failure, fear of not meeting expectations, or even fear of success and the responsibility that comes with it.

4:30Essentially, we avoid tasks because they trigger discomfort and our brains choose short-term relief over long-term benefits. It's a bit of a tough pill to swallow, that actually it was fear are holding you back all along but like confidence or communication or habit tracking or pretty much every topic I've done a solo episode on over the past year overcoming procrastination is a skill one that you can develop with strategies and frameworks and there is nothing I love more than a strategy or a framework as we know but before we get into these frameworks you know we don't do anything around here without receipts so let's get into the data the more we understand about something the more empowered we are to actually deal with it so we all know procrastination is pretty negative.

5:07I feel like I don't need to tell you that a study published in the journal Psychological Science found that procrastination is linked to higher stress levels and lower overall well-being. It's kind of just rubbing salt in the wound at this point but I do want to add a disclaimer here that procrastination is very different from giving yourself time to think. So many of us are so busy now that we time block our schedules out to infinity leaving ourselves with little time to process or be creative or to have the kind of ideas that you can only have when you're not meant to be working on another task.

5:34That kind of blue sky problem solving thinking needs to be protected and is very different from procrastination which for me at least is usually characterized by negative thinking, putting things off, making a lot of excuses in my head and then that kind of negative spiral coming back around. So on the subject of these negative emotions let's get into the theories around procrastination. As I was researching for this episode there was a moment when everything kind of clicked into place and it was when I found research from Dr Tim Pitchell that explained that the negative thinking I was talking about wasn't just the result of my procrastination it was actually the cause of it.

6:06Pitchell essentially explains that the main reason we put off tasks is because they make us feel uncomfortable and as humans we're programmed to avoid general discomfort and to seek instant gratification instead. This isn't a totally new idea. In 2001 there was a study at Case Western Reserve University in Ohio where participants were encouraged to feel sad by reading sad stories and then given the option to prepare for an intelligence test or watch videos and play games. They found that the sad stories made them more likely to choose the fun, short-term relief of the games rather than the productive option of preparing for the test.

6:38Pitchell calls this the giving in to feel good effect and it's something that builds over time. Every time we avoid a task and scroll through TikTok or go and stare at the open fridge for 10 minutes, that habit of avoidance is reinforced. Your body knows where to go for relief and is more likely to do that time and time again. This is only made so much harder by the fact that instant gratification is easier to access than ever, whether that's a TikTok scroll, a Deliveroo, a Netflix binge. We have so many options for temporary good feelings at our fingertips, so there is no wonder why we are procrastinating more too.

7:08This is all linked to a well-respected theory called temporal motivation, which was coined by Piers Steele in 2007. It sounds complicated at first because it's based on this equation. Motivation equals expectancy times value over one plus impulsiveness times delay. I know that sounds insanely confusing but to simplify it, Steele means that procrastination happens when we weigh our tasks based on four factors. One, expectancy, how much we believe we'll succeed. Two, value, how much we care about the task. Three, impulsivity, how easily we get distracted. And four, delay, how far away the reward or consequence feels.

7:44So according to Steele, the trick to overcoming procrastination for a task you care about is to one, increase expectancy, also known as self-belief, and reduce impulsivity, also known as avoiding distraction. It's the first one in that list, expectancy, that I want to zoom in on for a second. What Steele is saying here is that if you don't believe you'll succeed at a task, you're going to put it off and ultimately feel worse in the long run. I thought about this a lot during my research as I think it is such a good example of why manifestation has so many fans, even from people who don't necessarily see themselves as manifestation fans, including me.

8:16So when you create a vision board or you tell yourself certain affirmations in the morning, you're essentially increasing your expectancy for that task, encouraging your self-belief and not only improving your outlook, but making yourself more productive in the long run. This brings us to the key lesson of today's episode. Overcoming procrastination isn't just about willpower. It's about one, creating better habits, two, learning to manage discomfort, and three, building mental resolve and self-belief. We're going to get into exactly how to do that, but first, let's have a short break. The market's uncertain, revenues tied, and hiring on hold.

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9:29Learn more at capella.edu.

9:35Welcome back. Now that we know why we procrastinate, let's talk about how to actually stop doing it. As I mentioned, we're doing this in three parts. We're starting with number one, creating better habits. This is a harsh truth. You won't even get to the point of procrastinating about a task you want to do if you don't schedule it into your calendar and find time to actually do it. Whilst bad time management might not be the root cause of procrastination, good time management is a 10 out of 10 strategy for tackling it. For me, that looks like my productivity method. So every morning I look at my schedule and I pick three non-negotiable tasks that I'll get done that day.

10:06I then block these tasks into my calendar like I would a meeting or appointment. And then once these fixed tasks are in my calendar, I time block out the rest of my day based on my to-do list according to my priorities. For me right now, this includes an hour of approvals at the end of every day so that I know nobody is waiting on me for key decisions and it includes placing the hardest and the task I'm most likely to procrastinate on in the morning so that I tackle it when my brain is feeling most fresh and I'm least likely to enter a procrastination cycle. I've done a whole YouTube video on my channel on this if you want to go into further detail but we are moving on and this is only one step of the anti-procrastination plan.

10:38Step two is learning to manage discomfort and do it anyway. This essentially means training your brain away from the reinforced avoidance you've been giving it through distraction and procrastination. You're tricking your body into steering away from wanting short-term gratification at every step and instead learning that delayed gratification is what really gives you long-term fulfillment. There are plenty of ways to do this on a short-term level. Mel Robbins swears by counting down from five and then taking action. This is something that definitely helps when I'm procrastinating getting out of bed for example or even going to bed and I'm looking at my phone a lot 5 4 3 2 1 and you do it.

11:10Some people find it helpful to break down a task into micro steps for example so instead of thinking about writing an entire report think about it by paragraph think about it by section of the overall report or one part of the process at a time. Others might find the 10 minute rule works so where you say to yourself I'm going to do it for 10 minutes and then I will allow myself to stop. There are so many different tactics you can use and I use a lot of these on a daily basis just because I've got my calendar time blocked and my priorities clear that doesn't mean my brain isn't also in need of a kick up the arse when it comes to actually getting going sometimes.

11:40And all of these frameworks are based on something called the Zygarnik effect which was coined way back in the 1920s. This describes the mental tension that is created in our brains when we leave a task unfinished. This tension means that once you start a task like writing a book for example and you write just one sentence you are much more likely to finish it than if you'd written nothing at all. It is basically a scientific justification for saying just start. And now finally there is step three, the most important step of all to avoid procrastination and the hardest one to master. All the tips I've given now are essentially coping mechanisms to avoid feelings of procrastination once they start.

12:15But if you want to actually get to the root cause you need to tackle that self-belief we spoke about earlier. You need to believe that you can actually succeed in that task because it's worthwhile and see your own value in doing that for yourself. It is important to disclaim here that I'm obviously not a psychologist. I am just someone who absolutely hates procrastination and loves learning how to improve my life and our own lives. So these are the tried and tested techniques that I've found that have improved my self-belief. Number one is about reframing your self-talk. So much procrastination in general comes from when you talk negatively to yourself.

12:45So telling yourself you can't do this task or you're insane to think that this idea will actually pay off. If you sense yourself starting to think like this, make a concerted effort to recognise it and shift the perspective. It might sound silly but genuinely looking yourself in the mirror or saying to yourself, I can do this and this is going to be so good and my boss is going to love it, it can get you out of a rut pretty quickly. Number two is to prove to yourself that you actually are capable. Whether this is rewarding yourself by taking off tasks each day in your planner or allowing a TikTok scroll once you've completed a morning's worth of analysis.

13:15Imagine a star chart that you might have had as a kid every time you make your bed or wash the dishes. create one of these for your brain. This associates positive feeling with tasks that are going to contribute to long-term gratification, rewiring your thought process around procrastination and ultimately improving your self-worth. And finally, my third tip for self-belief is visualising your success. I recorded an incredible episode earlier this year with visualisation expert Maya Rochura all about the power of the mind and how we can change our outlook by closing our eyes and practising visualisation.

13:46She told me that the more we tell ourselves we are capable of achievements, visualising ourselves doing them and practising the feeling of the gain after that long-term gratification the more likely we are not only to achieve our goals but to feel better as we work towards achieving them. So taking five minutes to visualise yourself achieving a task can save you from hours of procrastinating about whether you're capable or some subconscious reason you don't even know why you're procrastinating. Now as always it's time to speak to the expert. I spoke to Fuchsia Searois, Dr Tim Pitchell's long-term collaborator and researcher at Durham University about how she recommends we overcome procrastination.

14:19From my perspective, the core driver for procrastination is issues in regulating one's emotions. So emotions are ground zero for procrastination. And so from that perspective, then, if difficulty in managing one's emotions results in procrastination, then we have to find ways to help people manage those emotions. Hashtag that we procrastinate on are not pleasant ones. They're not fun ones. They're things we find unpleasant, boring, tedious, stressful, anxiety-provoking, frustrating, you know, the whole range of negative emotional and aversive states. As human beings, we don't generally like being in an aversive state unless we feel it has some purpose, of course.

15:03So when you have this unpleasant feeling about this task you have to do, you can either manage those emotions internally and find ways to regulate them, and there's a number of ways you can do that. Or if you have difficulty doing that because of your circumstances, because of lack of prior experience or lack of sort of skill development in the area of emotion regulation, you can use procrastination then as a means to manage those emotions. And so what happens then, you've got this unpleasant task. It's really making you stressed and frustrated and anxious. You take that task, you disengage from it, you put it aside and immediately you feel relief.

15:39You just regulated your emotions. albeit not in a very healthy way, because those emotions are likely to come back next time you sit down and think about that task. When you've got quick access to the phone and social media, that doesn't make it easier. What you're doing with those things is you're affording yourself hedonic shift. You're being able to shift yourself from an unpleasant state by distracting yourself and focusing something more positive. But I want to throw in here, too, that's not the only way that that happens too. There's all kinds of apps out there for cutting yourself off from social media and making sure you don't have those distractions and that's all good.

16:17But the fact of the matter is that people will often find other things to do that actually aren't very pleasant when they're procrastinating. And the classic thing is, you know, running around cleaning your office or cleaning your kitchen or just doing whatever it takes to make you feel like you're being productive because you know you're not being productive by doing that task that you're avoiding in that moment. And that gives you a sense of accomplishment and say, oh, I see, like I'm very busy. I'm not lazy, right? And this sort of feeds into a lot of the common beliefs that we have around people who procrastinate, that they are lazy because they're not getting things done.

16:52There are things you can do to reduce what I call the procrastinogenic environment, right? So procrastinogenic environment is one where there's lots of distractions, but the real work, you know, in terms of tackling procrastination it needs to be done within. It's work around recognizing the source of those negative emotions, right? So is it perfectionistic fears of failure, of not being as good as what you would hope it would be because you have limited time, right? Is it doing emotional time traveling and thinking ahead about a task that you've not done before, but you're now imagining, oh, this is going to be so hard and so difficult and take so much time.

17:29I don't even want to start it. I just, I can't deal with that. We call that effective forecasting. And a lot of the science on that topic suggests that we're actually really bad at predicting our future emotional states. We tend to overblow them. So if that's where those emotions are coming from, then stepping back and contextualizing them and remembering all the times you coped with similar things in the past. But a lot of it too is just our own self-criticism because we are in a society that really values productivity. Everything's about being more productive, getting more done, you know, being your best self and all these things, right?

18:07And unfortunately, the dark side of that culture is that if you're not doing those things, then you're going against the current social norms, you're transgressing social norms. And when we know we're transgressing social norms, it leads to feelings of guilt, and especially of shame, right? And so now, if you're not, you're procrastinating, then you start feeling guilty and you start feeling ashamed, which has another layer of negative emotions on. And this is why those two feelings in particular are quite common among people that procrastinate. And so all of that to say then that being compassionate with yourself, you know, and stepping back and kind of realizing, yeah, like I'm not the first person who's ever procrastinated before.

18:49Like I'm not happy about it, but not deep diving into those negative emotions and that shame and that guilt. And instead of saying, yeah, I don't like this, how can I fix this? And that's what self-compassion really is. And it dials down the self-critical voice, that inner critic that can actually dial up the very negative emotions that are driving to procrastination in the first place. And that is it for today's episode on beating procrastination. I hope this has given you some useful tools to start making real progress and how you tackle tasks. As always, I've only scratched the surface. So if you want to dive deeper I've included a reading list with some of my favorite books and resources.

19:50is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella.edu. On this topic in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening. If you take one thing away from this episode, it should be that action beats inaction every single time.