You Don't Need To Buy A New Wardrobe To Find Your Style, Here's My Formula

0:11What is up? I'm Grace Beverley and welcome back to Working Hard. the podcast shared guidebook on how to improve your own life and achieve what you actually dreamed of doing, because life's too short for boring podcasts and bad advice.

0:25What is up and welcome back to Working Hard. This episode is specifically for anyone who stands staring at their wardrobe every morning and thinks, what the fuck do I wear? Like, why do I have multiple clothes here and I don't know a single thing to wear? I don't feel like there's anything here that expresses my personal style and I'm annoyed about that very fact.

0:48Firstly, I just quickly want to talk about why style isn't superficial. I feel like as with a lot of things on my channel, I feel like as soon as we start talking about like beauty and hair and nails, our internalized misogyny really, and all of the kind of views we've had around that makes us feel like we're concentrating on silly things or we're paying attention to vapid kind of parts of our lives and I don't buy into that and I feel like we should actively try not to buy into that because again it's a double-edged sword it's how we're seen as women like we're expected to be quote-unquote presentable and to look a certain way and to dress well and whatever it might be and you can reject all of that if you want to but if you want to concentrate on that whether because it's something that you feel like you've been encouraged to do by external society or because you actually want to do that you have a right to do that without then feeling vapid about it but I generally feel like we're all told that clothes shouldn't matter to how we feel or that your style doesn't reflect you or how you dress doesn't reflect you and I feel like we all think that clothes shouldn't matter to how we feel but they definitely do and this is because of something psychologists call enclosed cognition which is basically a fancy word that says the way we dress directly affects how we think, feel and behave.

2:02So what you wear influences everything from how confident you feel to how assertive you are in a meeting to whether you even like leave the house in the first place. I also think that this is a good place to start if you are struggling with motivation or your identity or your self-confidence. And when you're focusing on things like that, if some of the bigger inner work feels too much, then your wardrobe is actually a really good place to start. I think, again, we think of style and we think of wardrobe as like a cherry on top or something that just happens to exist and isn't really important to our lives.

2:38And it is, and it can be if you want it to be. And we know that psychologically it is kind of whether you want it to or not. So it can impact a wider variety of things in your life as well. That aside, or I guess additionally to that, the thing is that many of us get into style slumps. And the thing is that I think many of us get into times in our lives where like we hate our whole wardrobe, we hate all our outfits, we don't know how we want to dress, we don't know whether a way we dressed was a trend or actually our personal style. And I think a lot of that is because we're constantly consuming other people's outfits.

3:10Like we are seeing everyone's outfit pictures, we're seeing everyone's get ready with me. It's like it's a lot of the social media that we are now consuming. So it's very easy to find it overwhelming and it's very easy to find it tough to know what actually resonates with you and how you want to dress. Whereas when our parents were growing up, there were like a couple of clothes shops on the high street and maybe the chance to go to a big city every so often and try something else. But really things would follow kind of a similar formula, particularly before it was deemed acceptable for women to kind of wear what they want.

3:39Whereas now alongside social media, there's also thousands of online stores over the world that we can access really easily. And I feel like all of that means it's no wonder we face a paradox of choice that can be paralyzing and lead to us ordering 10 options at 11 p.m. in a panic the day before an event when in reality we have loads of things in our wardrobe. So I want to talk to you about a kind of system I've developed because I, as I said, am not the type of person who sets aside a lot of time to pull out some outfits and plan things and all of that. The only time I do that is if I'm going on holiday and I have a free weekend before and I Pinterest some cute little outfits and I I set aside what they look like in my wardrobe and I pack those things.

4:20The large majority of the time I get up and I do not know what to wear. And I find it very hard to put together something that reflects my personal style. And I kind of got fed up of that. And Soho developed a system to improve that in my day to day life. So I'm going to talk you through it. And I find it really, really useful. And I feel like for anyone who is busy and doesn't have like the time that a fashion influencer does, will be able to feel like their outfits reflect them more and they're getting more out of their wardrobe. And then you could actually shop intentionally. And that's so fun.

4:51Like it's fun to buy things that you feel like will genuinely add to your wardrobe, but it doesn't happen if you're overwhelmed with everything that's in there and how you're actually dressing. So first of all, I would set aside a Sunday afternoon to slowly work your way through this step by step. So before you add anything new to your wardrobe, you have to work out what you already have and what you're actually wearing. That is the number one thing you need to do because otherwise you're not really getting to the crux of the issue. So look at your wardrobe and ask yourself these following questions.

5:21Number one, pull out the pieces that you actually reach for most. I have like a few trousers, particularly ones with like an elasticated waist or certain boxy t-shirts or whatever it might be that I grab day after day. And I know that those are like the basis of like the building blocks of my wardrobe. So pull those out. Then number two, you're going going to look at those pieces that you love and wear and ask what they have in common. So is it the shape? I, for example, love structured pieces. Like I love a structured blazer. I love something with a cinch. I love something with volume. Make a list of the shapes, the colours and the cuts that genuinely feel most you.

5:56Like when you put them together, you feel like that is you in an outfit. Then number three, what you're going to do is you're going to define what you're actually dressing for in your life. It might be that you work from home. So you actually usually only dress up for your home office and then you have social plans in the week or you might have a corporate job so you need more formal clothes and gym wear and some weekend options. This is such an important step because so many of us plan our styles without actually thinking about what we're dressing for. I for example a lot of the time think that I'm living like this high life glam tottering round and heels life where all of these outfits would be perfect if I could be asked Whereas realistically, when I'm looking at my wardrobe at 7am, working out what I'm wearing to the office, even if I could wear a gorgeous outfit, I want to wear something that I can do my 10 ,000 steps in, that I can get on the tube in someone's stinky armpit in, that's not going to like make me feel uncomfortable all day.

6:49Like I'm a girlie with stomach problems. I don't want something that's going to be super uncomfortable. And so I might love something, but I'm like, I never wear anything bodycon. So is that useful having it in my wardrobe? This is going to help you avoid having like 10 gorgeous summer dresses, but only one white tee in your wardrobe when you don't even wear summer dresses when summer comes around. Then finally, the fourth question is to look at your wardrobe and work out your essentials. So jeans, jackets, shirts, blazers, trainers. write a list of everything that you feel like isn't essential for your wardrobe because it will be different for all of us and this makes it so much easier to spot what's missing later down the line.

7:27Next up what you're going to do is you're going to take those occasions you wrote down earlier and create a mood board for each of them. This will be different for everyone but this has changed my life particularly as someone with aphantasia so someone who cannot visualize things specifically in their heads. I find it really hard to get out of the specific formulas that I have for outfits and formulas for outfits are really good I really like a formula for outfits but I'll have a week where I only wear black white and gray for example she says wearing a black and white jumper but like I will because my head gets into that mindset whereas mood boarding out for the specific things that you regularly have coming up again and again is so useful like on my Pinterest I have specific outfit boards and within there I have casual I have super casual so more like cute track easy looks I have smart I have evening events like things like that things that recur again and again I have a mood board on it and to be very clear this is not a shopping list we are not there yet but I just want you to think about what a work wear wardrobe looks like to you what a socials plans wardrobe looks like to you what your gym wear wardrobe looks like if you're doing it regularly get a mood board on it and quick disclaimer of this I would be wary of micro trends when you're on Pinterest it is very much a hub for that kind of thing it's amazing for finding beautiful new takes on style but you have to dig more to actually find those things a lot of the time it's really easy to get caught up like I bought some trainers last year that I wore like two times because I then suddenly I just realized I was like well that was a micro trend and they were too out there and now I just feel like I can't wear them ever it is a bit of a hub for that type of thing so remember you can express your personal style whilst also focusing on the long term and focusing on what actually resonates with you and what's resonated with you for years like you can change over time like I used to wear all bodycon clothes and now you would not catch me dead in anything that like shows my stomach in the week unless there's like a gun to my head to be honest but whereas for the past few years I've always loved anything structured as I said like I love volume I love structure I love that type of cut and I know I've liked that for years whether it's a trend or not like I don't think it is a trend right now.

9:36I will always want that type of thing so that's something I'm going to get drawn towards more and I understand that that might be it's just a staple part of my style essentially and a good way of avoiding this micro trend stuff too is to go beyond outfits and to include colors and words and textures and shoes and hairstyles. Again really helpful if you are someone who cannot visualize things. It means that you can look at your mood board and realize that actually most of that outfit is the hairstyle or the jewelry or whatever it might be, which helps a lot because sometimes I can't visualize an outfit.

10:06I think it's really boring until I realize that my hair's going to look like whatever or I'm going to wear loads of chunky jewelry. And the idea is that this is, I guess, each mood board is like a vibe you want to follow, not a checklist. And I find that super useful any time I'm going into that situation. I check the mood board first and then I go back to my wardrobe. I'm not trying to replicate anything directly. I'll absolutely get inspiration, but I'm just looking at it. I'm getting myself into that headspace. And then I go to my wardrobe and I go, oh, what's going to fit this type of vibe?

10:32I also regularly think about when Roxy Nafusi came on the podcast. I asked her what the first step is that someone who's manifesting should take. And she said that it would be going through your wardrobe and asking like, would my idol wear this? Like, would the person I'm working towards being wear this? And I feel like making these mood boards is basically creating that idol of future you, which you can amend and check over time and you can evolve. Like I used to wear, as I said, so many crop tops and corset tops and all of this. And I think they're gorgeous and I think they look amazing on lots of people, but they are not what I want to wear now.

11:03So why do I still have some in my wardrobe? Like it's obviously not for me. But now we're onto the fun part, which is actually building a real capsule wardrobe out of the work that you've already done. And to be very clear, I do not think a capsule wardrobe has to be boring. I do not think it needs to be all black and white and grey. It's just about knowing that you have options and things that you go back to again and again and the foundations of your wardrobe. And I spoke about the paradox of choice earlier and the same very much applies here. The more options you have in front of you, the harder it is to choose.

11:33So having a capsule wardrobe that you update every season actually means you are likely to be more experimental with what you're wearing. So what you're going to do is look into your wardrobe and pick the following. Three to five bottoms, three to five tops, three to five jackets or layers, three to five accessories, and three to five wildcard or like personality pieces. If you have very different dress codes for work and personal life, then I would actually recommend doing like two smaller capsules rather than one big one because otherwise it's just not useful. And again, this goes back to the Pinterest boards you made earlier and allows you to very much have different style directions dependent on what you are dressing for.

12:09Because just because you have a corporate job, that doesn't mean you shouldn't slay on the weekend. like come on now and once you've laid this out I feel like you'll actually start to see the gaps in your wardrobe I definitely did I started to realize that I only wore one shape of trousers really and I have it in one color whereas I have all these other shapes and all these other colors but also like do you only have two pairs of trousers that you will actually wear to work or do none of your jeans fit you right I know for example out of my jeans I wear three pairs of them and I probably have about 12 pairs of jeans like maybe a special jean here and there but that's not the math thing for that.

12:44Like, are you missing personality pieces that bring some fun into your outfits? Write the answer to those things down. So are you missing some fun things? Do you not have enough wide leg trousers? Do you not have enough trousers with elasticated waist? Do you not have enough clothes that you can wear on your period when you really don't want to wear something tight? Write them down and then, and only then, can you start doing any shopping. So next, in order to actually shop well and not end up with the same situation that we've started with, you're going to learn to shop like a stylist and you're going to learn to shop like a stylist who is not just dressing someone for a red carpet event but dressing someone who said I never want to come back to you again because I want to have this wardrobe that's going to last forever.

13:21Before you buy anything new you need to ask yourself would I wear this three times this month? How would I wear this? Three different ways like can I style it three different ways with things I already own? Does it fit both my life aka what I actually dress for and my mood boards? And then obviously there is always special pieces that you see that might be for a special occasion. But generally, if the answer is no to any of those questions, I would give yourself a cooling off period to properly consider whether something is right before buying it. In fact, I would personally go as far as to say if it is not smashing all of those things out the park, it's probably not a good buy.

13:56And you can have some things that are just special and you're not going to wear all the time and you take them out every three years and you feel incredible when you wear them. But you have to make sure you're actually going to wear them and you don't just have them because they're special. Like, you are not a museum you need to have disposable income to be able to get other things and I am all for keeping special pieces and I have special pieces like I have my two wedding dresses up in my loft and I'm not wearing that every day and I'm currently not planning to wear that any time in the near future but you know what I mean it's not helpful to continuously buy things that are adding to your paradox of choice rather than adding to your actual outfits you know from these videos I always insist on speaking to an expert so I spoke to Nana Akempong who is fashion editor at Sheer and she is stylist to some of the biggest names.

14:38And I wanted to talk to her about what her criteria is when she shops and why not all capsule wardrobes have to be boring. I got really into the capsule wardrobe idea when I was very much into like quiet luxury and making everything black, white, navy and grey. And actually you can have a capsule wardrobe and it still be like super out there style wise or perfectly in line with your personal style. In fact, that is the way we should be doing things. But anyway, here's what Nana had to say. So for a capsule wardrobe, if you are going out and shopping, I think the first thing that you need to do is actually identify your style.

15:16What does your style look like? What do you want to portray to the world? And then you can build a capsule wardrobe off that because I think when people hear the words capsule wardrobe, they think it's a set formula of 12 pieces, you've got to have a trench coat, some denim. But for example, I don't wear jeans, so I would never have a pair of jeans in my capsule wardrobe. So once you've identified your style, then you can go out and work out what those 10 to 15 pieces are. Is it a blazer? Is it a skirt? Do you wear more colour? Are you more minimalist? I think where a lot of people struggle is that they're like actually I don't know what my style is I don't know what the pillars are of my wardrobe so I would always say take it back to basics and create a mood board of either pictures of yourself in outfits that you've really loved or you can go onto Pinterest get some street style images get some celebrity images is make a mood board and that can kind of steer you in the direction of what you think your style is and then that's where you start building your capsule wardrobe.

16:34If you want to take more risks with your capsule wardrobe there are some really easy tricks that are so simple that you can do and I think a lot of people are scared of colour but it is honestly one of the easiest and simplest tricks to do into your wardrobe you just need to do it with an accessory it could be a bag a shoe a scarf obviously a lot of trends at the moment you've got your little jumper wrapped around the neck do you want a colour pop of red and that is gonna lift up your kind of neutral colours but it's not too scary at the same time when it comes to texture I would say play around with lots of fringing and suede also leather painting like there are so many different textures that you can get into your capsule wardrobe that will really lift it and add a different dimension and not make it feel so kind of beige for anyone that is stuck in a star wrap or is just looking at their wardrobe and feeling really overwhelmed in the mornings it becomes really stressful getting dressed for work I would say this is where planning becomes really helpful so you could just spend a Sunday afternoon or a Saturday afternoon whenever you have some free time and also take pictures in those outfits and you can create your own mood boards like when I'm working with clients or celebrities and we are doing a block we will block out what the next 14 outfits look like from head to toe and it's a really good way of having a visual aid and it makes getting dressed in the morning less overwhelming you will actually fall back in love with the clothes that you've got in your wardrobe because you're like oh actually this can go together and I forgot I had this so I think a really good tool is definitely just spend some time in creating looks photograph those looks and you've got a catalogue that you can refer back to.

18:42Another style tip that I always want to get across to any of my clients or anyone I'm working with is not to get hung up on a number that is on a label. I have items in my wardrobe that are a size 6 and a size 16 because all it comes down to is how a piece of clothing feels and fits on you. If you feel good in it, wear it. The number seriously does not matter and I just think when we're doing a capsule wardrobe the biggest thing that we're thinking of is are we feeling comfortable as well we feel our most confident selves when we are in an outfit that we feel comfortable in so when it comes down to that you definitely just feel your best when you're wearing something that fits perfectly and like I say do not worry about the number.

19:36I think Nana is amazing and her advice brings us nicely onto my final piece of advice which is once you've done this reset remember to make fashion into a hobby rather than a chore and you don't need to be someone who loves getting dressed every day. You don't need to be the type of person who always wants to experiment with new outfits but my assumption is if you are someone who is watching this video you want to be able to get some joy out of it. It's not something that you just want to wear the same outfit every day for the rest of your life and if you want to do that go ahead that is more than fine but just because everyone's planning all these amazing new outfits every single day on social media fashion and how you dress does not have to be a chore essentially it is a game and so if you want to play it you need to dedicate time to it what i mean by that is that if you want to make sure you find that fun styling time again schedule literally 15 minutes on a sunday to plan outfits for the week starting with one piece you want to wear or starting with a new piece you bought recently or starting with your mood boards and a specific outfit you want to recreate and try.

20:35I think with social media, it's made us think that every time we put together like a really nice outfit so it can be captured on social media or so that we can be posting it in some way, you can just experiment for the day to day and just leave the house and go to the shops. And I feel like this, all of this really helps you to style with intention and stops the kind of grab whatever's clean panic at 7am and then constantly feeling like you're not expressing yourself in the way you want to. It also makes it more likely that you will actually wear the clothes you love and do that instead of saving them for an imaginary better day that never actually comes.

21:05Also a really good point there, despite having just said the content thing, this doesn't need to be for anyone else, but do not forget to take mirror selfies when you love your outfit. I feel like that is so important for building your own inspo folder because it's better than any Pinterest board. It's true to you. It's true to how you actually enjoyed that outfit. It's true to exactly the things that are in your wardrobe. And I feel like I often look back and I'm like, God, that was a really good outfit. And then you can recreate it. But it's really easy with how fast things change and how busy we are to just never think about those things again.

21:34And then you lose a really nice outfit that you spend some time on, which we don't want. But that is it for today's episode. If you are like me and you want to enjoy getting dressed and fashion and personal style, but it just never feels like a priority or it always feels overwhelming or it always feels like an added chore on top of everything already doing, I hope that gave you some structure. I am very much a tools person. Like if something is slipping in my life, if it is not where I want it to be, I'm very big on adding structure to get it to where I want to be. And this is one of the ways I've done that.

22:07And I'm very appreciative that I have done that. And it's giving me a lot more joy out of my wardrobes. I hope you found that helpful. I'm going to put some of my favorite styling tools and tips in the newsletter this week. So make sure you're subscribed. But most of all, just make sure you're enjoying your wardrobe. Like set aside time so you actually are enjoying it. Dressing up should be fun. it should be for you and it should make you feel great about yourself not like you're feeling at another thing