378. Heated Rivalry episode 4 - Frotting, Ferrets, and Ferris Wheels — Wait, Wrong Show. Just Frotting.

0:03Welcome to You Are Not Broken, the podcast that challenges everything we've been taught about midlife, hormones, and sexuality. I'm Dr. Kelly Kasperson, board-certified urologist, author, and a leading voice in women's sexual and hormone health. Enjoy the show. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You're Not Broken podcast. We have Dr. Ashley Winter, Dr. Rachel Rubin, Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, and we're going to talk about episode four of the Heat of Rivalry series, and we're very excited. Welcome, everybody. We're so excited. We got to episode three. The four and five are my favorite episodes, so I'm peak excited.

0:37Every time I see four, it's my favorite episode ever. Then I see five, I'm like, this is my favorite episode ever. And then six, this is my favorite episode. It's really, it's like choosing your favorite child, which we all have so you can just forget about it. You all have your favorite child. Except Josh, he only has one. I only have one for now. Which is his favorite child for now. Episode four is fast. It's fast paced. I timed the montage. The intro montage is over six minutes long. It spans years. Yeah. It's so hot. It's such a good montage. I know. And now they're working out. And now they're fucking.

1:14And now it's the Olympics. Like, there's a wide-spanning montage. Sweaty bicep, penis. Sweaty bicep, sex. Butts. Butts. Yes. Me watching Ilya work out, specifically Ilya, me watching him work out makes me want to go work out. I want to mirror his behavior. I mean, I want to be in those showers. I love that for you. Who wants to start episode four? Episode four is called Rose. And Rose does not even show up until like halfway through. Yeah. Is there a metaphor there? So much happens. They move the plot so far in episode four. Like episode four is like a hundred years, it feels. And I cannot believe how much happens in episode four.

2:02Like they go through the whole like, you know, they like get mad at each other and then you've got rose then you've got the club scene like it just like amazing and then like the montage and there's so much that have too much hayden like there's so much that happens too much hayden continues to reproduce and populate the world with mini hayden it's just the full leveling up right i mean the first two episodes they're just kind of exploring each other's bodies and um yeah and it's just the leveling up it's the it's the moment in Ilya's house in Tuna Melts, you know, where there's the freak out, there's the realization that something's different, then there's the rose and the jealousy and the realization that he has feelings because of his jealousy and it just moves epically.

2:54They also refer to each other by their first names for the first time. Very big deal. Status post Tuna Melts. Yes. The least sexy thing that you could eat before sex. Is that... I wonder if that's in the book because why would they choose the tuna mouth? Like, is that just the only thing Ilya knows how to make, right? I would assume that's definitely from the book. It's probably good macros. And he had... With my notes for this episode, I wrote very few things down because I'm lazy, but I wrote ginger ale. Like, it's beautiful. Like, the whole episode's about ginger ale when you think about it, right?

3:33Like Ilya has ginger ale at his house. Shane's with his parents and they don't have ginger ale at the restaurant. He has to be someone else and get sparkling water. Then he goes to the bar and they have ginger ale, but he chooses to get the beer because he doesn't want to be himself, but he can be himself with Ilya. And that's what scares him. And then he runs away. It's all about ginger ale. Oh, mic drop. That's brilliant. I did not put it together that way. He loves ginger ale. Like it's a whole thing. If you watch the whole series, he's always ordering ginger ale. For sure. Alien knows these little details about him.

4:09And like later at the All-Star Game or wherever they are, like he talks about ginger ale again. So ginger ale is this like thread throughout like the naked butts. It's like the thread that keeps going through. I think it's this episode four is the maturing of these men. You know, they were they were literally old teenagers in one and two. in like fame for the first time, gay sex at this level for the first time. Like, and four, they mature. And especially like in the montage, you see it like, Rosanoff is being Rosanoff. He's partying. You can see his dad's health is declining, right? So he's going through his maturity.

4:48Whereas you see Shane is, he's doing all of his brand deals. He's reading. They contrast Ilya and his dad immediately with Shane and his dad. so they put both of those right next to each other in the montage of like this is how these families are interacting and this one's falling apart and to go from ginger ale to beer or to alcohol there's a maturing here that you don't see in previous episodes yeah i think it's fascinating that i mean first off that club scene is i just think the most exquisite few minutes of television I've ever seen. Like it's the emotions, the cinematography, the timing, the two versions of that same song, like the faster and then the slower.

5:35It's just completely exquisite. But it's not clear until you, spoiler, get to the next episode that the sex that he's having with Rose is not sexing, you know? So I think that's interesting how they do that. But I would say in terms of the imagery that I picked up on is that in that scene, he's going up these stairs with Rose. And, you know, the stairs that he's going up with Ilya all the time are like the back stairs. And like, he's going up fancy stairs with her. It's again how his partner that he's actually excited about is like, he's hiding, right? And this partner that it's not working out with is the partner that the world wants.

6:18And he's doing like the fancy stairs with her. Dude, that's so good. I did not pick up on the stairs. Yeah, they're always on the stairs, right? It's like, that's a thing. The stairs are a thing. Wait, you guys, there's no stairs in the cottage. That's where they can finally be themselves. No stairs. Yeah, there's no stairs. No stairs and all the ginger ale that they want. Yeah, and the ginger ale. What do we think about frotting? What is frotting? Remember, do you guys know? I got a lot to teach you guys. Okay. Frotting is when he's straddling Ilya. And it's when two guys, I suppose female on female version would be scissoring.

7:00But it's essentially where you just are rubbing your dicks together. There's no penetration. It's like another layer of mutual masturbation, but you're sort of getting off with the friction of the two penises rubbing up. And that's kind of what they're doing. I thought he was jerking him off. He is, but he's jerking himself. yeah so he's jerking himself off together so you grip both penises and rub like this oh my god also I think the spit the spit was improvised I saw it on an interview really yeah and they were like okay let's keep rolling Jacob's like I like it let's go I mean you would have thought if he had the ginger ale he would have had some lube like all over the place they don't talk about lube there is not enough lube discussion not enough lube discussion especially with like there is a nine inch penis discussion.

7:49And you definitely need a lot of lube with a nine inch penis. Spit is never the best option in this situation. Let's do some math for the humans listening. Because I think that the Heat of Rivalry episodes do their best work when we bring in urology and sex ed. So the average erect penis is around five inches. Did we talk about this before? But we're going to anal. And so then the average non-erect vagina is four inches. So the vagina of needs to be aroused in order to accommodate the penis. But what's the diameter of the amos? It's got to be not a lot. Like we need lube. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also not self-lubricating.

8:31Like there is natural lubrication that can happen with vaginal sex, right? That doesn't really happen. And you have some mucus-y kind of production down there, but it's not real lubrication. So yeah, the spit, especially for anal sex, is not going to be ideal. I feel like two penises would be hard to fit in one hand. Yeah, it's usually kind of... It's not all the way around. It's sort of like a cupping of... Is it a double hand situation? It can be a double hand, yeah. Or one partner and one partner could be sort of... They could be like holding hands around the penises. What's the word for this again?

9:06Frotting. F-R-O-T-T-I-N-G. Oh, where's the origin of that word, please? I don't know. I just know that it's called that. Don't ask me how I know it's called frotting. searches on these episodes. I'm on it. Stand by. Stand by. Let's see if you can report back to this. Please, our AI overview, frotting or frot originates from the French verb frotter, meaning to rub, and refers to sexual practice involving direct penis to penis or genital to body contact. While rooted in the 12th century old French frotter and Middle English frotin, the term was popularized in modern gay culture to describe a specific form of non-penetrative, often face-to-face intimacy.

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11:38You pay for quality, not markup. Confession. I own three quince sweaters, some underwear, two linen shirts, a tablecloth, and probably more. Now, when I need something, my first thought is, I wonder what quince has. Find the fall pieces you'll reach for most at quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was You Are Not Broken. It's the best way to support the show. My question for Josh about lubricant in anal sex, is there discussions around water-based, silicone, oil-based?

12:25I think it's still generally personal preference, but I think most people that I know prefer silicone because it doesn't dry out as quickly, right? So you don't have to reapply as much and it's just slipperier, so there's less friction that's going to happen. And condom compatible. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Although not a lot of people are using condoms these days, but yes, technically it is condom compatible. That's what you were telling me. Mm-hmm. Oh, by the way, frotting also, I remember this from my days living in New York City. Frotting technically could involve like a stranger rubbing his genitals on you, like in the subway.

13:02That's also frotting. Frotterism. Yeah. Oh, yes. I know that word. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. You just got to go back to those New York City days. Yeah. Well, no, I don't remember people frotting me on the subway. I just know of the word for some reason. Fun fact, frottage is a technique used in art created by rubbing pencils or crayons over a textured surface. Oh, we all have done that. I've frotted in art before. You've frotted and you didn't even know it. Wait, so if a heterosexual couple is rubbing against each other, is that also considered frotting? I would assume so. Yeah, I think it's just genitals, non-penetrative sex rubbing genitals together.

13:46I think it was just popularized by gay men. I feel like there's such bias here because the word scissoring, I just have always known that word. I'm not always, but like that's so known in culture. And this I don't think is well known. Except for the illegal part on the subway that you're not allowed to do. Right, right. The negative connotation. Wasn't there a urologist who got arrested for having like a camera of people's skirts? Yes. Also where I trained, yes. We've done another tornado, guys. No, mine was Sinai. Oh, Sinai. That's all of that. Oh my gosh, Josh. I'm seeing your old college or your roommate, your co-resident in a few weeks at Yale.

14:32Michael? Yeah, Michael Weekend. What are you teaching at Yale, Dr. Rubin? I'm doing a visiting professorship. Well, really, I'm going for my husband's college reunion, but I made it into a visiting professorship. Professorship. I interviewed for residency at Yale and I was like, this seems boring. I'll tell them you say that. Yeah, I was like, rank number below eight. Sorry, Connecticut. Starting to make haters. All right, can we go back to episode four and the boring part? Yes. You jumped all the way to the last scene. Well, we need to talk about the sea world. Like, we just need Rachel to tell us all about vasectomies and the sea world scene.

15:10So I find that that scene is just too long, uninteresting, but also I loved it. It's a good scene in the aquarium where you actually see some lovely banter between Hayden and Shane. They actually are good friends. And I think you see it's a lot more, he understands his relationship with Jackie and he has some snark to him, right? When he says, are you trying to impregnate me? I think I have a couple good years of hockey left in me, right? I think there's some good banter that you see Shane able to be a version of himself, not his true self, but a version of himself. And I like the swear jar parts.

15:51And I actually like Shane... Sorry, I like... Even though I don't like Hayden, and I've been very vocal about it, I like how snarky Hayden is about his kids, where he calls the little one the worst one, and how he is like... He's real. No, like that's what we are as parents. Like we do, like that's at least how I parent. So I felt, but then, you know, he's so boring and that makes me feel boring, but I know I'm boring. So anyway, it's just - How quickly, how low budget it all is because they couldn't actually hire the child actor. So they only have the baby and the other two kids are like off screen the entire time.

16:25And it's like - Maybe it was like child labor loss or something. Canada, probably very strange. Like that they, they don't even show a flash of child. They're always off screen. Rachel I have an idea I'm imagining like a Hayden centric retelling of the story a la Wicked but from his perspective and it turns out he is actually not the villain of the story he's like the anti-hero that has just been misunderstood his entire life. Well, I think he's misunderstood because no one's telling him the truth. The poor guy, like he possibly, he'd be that person with the gay flag. Like he'd be so supportive.

17:03Maybe we actually learn in the retelling of the story that he is bisexual and he's just never explored that side with him and he had feelings for Shane. Or not, but he just has a gay twin brother. Oh, okay. Yeah. I like this like wicked retelling of the story though. I like how long. They sort of do that. They do that with the Olympics, right? They do like the different, like from the different vantage points. Like I feel like they do that a little bit. Yeah. What's Hayden's Enneagram? He's a seven. He just likes to have fun. He just likes to have fun. He just wants everybody to be friends. He wants Shane to be happy.

17:40I'm going to ask the internet. And date a yoga instructor because she's hot and she does yoga. Like he's just a... I just feel like Hayden like grew up as like a Mormon or something. So he got married. He definitely has Mormon vibes. Yeah, it's Mormon vibes. yeah i just think everything everything is like easy for him he doesn't have it's not too hard like it's not he's a seven it's not too hard this is saying shape this is now disagreeing with itself but it's saying hayden might be a type six which i don't buy and then it says sometimes a type two which i don't buy and then it's saying that shane is a type nine anyway sorry go back to you guys i don't know he wouldn't have done the tuna melt freak out if he was a nine like he was so no no i'm sorry hayden oh hayden's a nine oh no no no sorry we don't know hayden's not a nine maker no no hayden they're saying is a six or a two which i don't buy again i'm like a six and a two i'm hayden you would ask the hayden questions like he's like why are you with anyone like yeah i would be so nosy and loving and just want to feed my friends i would want my wife to feed my and i would want to set people up i i am they wouldn't tell me the truth and i would be deeply hurt that they wouldn't feel like they could be able to be their true self.

18:55Because Hayden's like, why doesn't Shane trust me enough to tell me he's gay? Because obviously - He knows about Lily, right? And you know what? Hayden does talk about masturbation in a very supportive way. He's like, he like says how, and he says to Shane, he's like, you know, you play better when you have sex. And so he knows Shane is having sex. He knows about Lily. He knows. The question is, does he know? No, that's the, you know, we know Scott Hunter knows, but does Hayden know? They each have one male hockey friend. Does each friend know? Hayden knows that Shane's got somebody and he gets laid before games and he does better with that.

19:31But I don't think he knows he's gay. Yeah, I would agree with that. If Ashley had read the book, she could tell us. I know, sorry. I have to tell Josh. Josh missed that. Ashley stopped reading the books after the second episode. sorry so we can't we can't rely on her because i was gonna do it before before this next one is my refresh and then i forgot so um rachel what else do you want to say about vasectomies and the fact that he or rivalry brought up vasectomies when they brought vasectomies in that uh hayden has many children and his wife got pregnant again which means hayden is having sex with his wife anyway they talked about vasectomies and i think we should talk about vasectomies i I like it whenever there's like a physician Facebook group and people are like, what's the best birth control for perimenopause?

20:14I'm always like vasectomy. And then everybody, people act as if like, oh, right. Right? Like people like completely forget about the vasectomy. And I like, I just love the like, no woman has ever, except for one biblical reference, got pregnant by herself. It's a pretty major biblical reference, but yeah. And then everybody has to be like, where in the Bible, the main story, The main story. Yeah, yeah. Got it. Do you do an anesthesia in your office? I do, yeah. Do you want to tell people what they're like? Yeah. So I used to do them in the office. I do them mostly, I don't do a ton of them, but mostly at the surgery center now with a little sedation.

20:53So generally they can be done when someone is awake. They're not the most comfortable thing. We use local anesthesia, but there's a lot of tugging and pulling and a lot of guys find that uncomfortable. So a few years ago, I started just doing it with a little sedation. People are a lot more comfortable, but it's a pretty straightforward procedure. We just make two or one tiny incision, take out the vas through the skin, cut it, tie it off, put it back. You got to do that on both sides because you have two vas deferens. So you got to make sure you cut both paths for the sperm to make it into the ejaculate.

21:24And then after, I don't know, 20 to 30 ejaculations or roughly 12 weeks later, no more sperm in your ejaculate. But the ejaculate volume does not change. This podcast is sponsored by Addy. Let's stop pretending low libido isn't a big deal. If it's bothering you, it's worth paying attention to. Meet Addy. Addy is a non-hormonal FDA-approved option for women under 65 with bothersome low libido. Although the exact way Addy works is unknown, it's believed to work on brain chemistry, is taken once daily at bedtime, and it works over time. Adi, Flabanserin, is a prescription medication for women under 65 with hypoactive low sexual desire disorder that is distressing to them, known as HSDD.

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23:02That's right. Well, it may drop like a tiny amount. And a lot of people ask like, will it affect my erections? No. Will it affect my orgasm? No. All that still feels the same. Like you said, the volume is pretty much the same. All it does is take the sperm out of the ejaculate. Does it affect your testosterone? No. Does it increase your risk for prostate cancer? No. Thank you. Yeah. I would say as a surgeon, vasectomies were a very humbling experience in that when they were, when it went well, it was like the easiest, quickest, most like routine thing. But when they do not go well, it is like sweating bullets because the person is awake and like they have these like fat scrotums and like you're like, I think this is the vas deferens and you're trying to make conversation and keep your cool while you're like, oh my gosh, this, I cannot figure out with your vest effort.

23:54Like it can get, so as a fellow, they would pay for our fellowship by giving us like 10 vasectomies a day at Kaiser. And it would be like seven of them would go very well. And then three of them, you're like, oh, I need help with this. Yeah, that's another reason that I started doing it with sedation. Like as soon as I realized, like when I would offer that to patients, they would be like, yeah, I don't want to like be awake and watch you like cutting into my balls. And like, I know that we do it because it's safer to do with local anesthesia technically, but the recovery is better because they have an IV for the procedure when I do them now.

24:29I give them a dose of Toradol so they're not catching up to pain. So their recovery is just so much better. And everything is more relaxed. What I tell the guys when I counsel them, I still give them the option, but 99 % of them do it with sedation. I tell them, even if you have a high pain tolerance, you're going to be nervous and anxious when I'm doing this procedure. And guess what happens to your balls when you get nervous or anxious? They retract into your body and it's going to make my job harder to do. So anyways. I love that. Does insurance cover sedation for vasectomies? Yeah, usually.

25:00But insurance doesn't cover sedation for IUDs. For IUDs. I bet you it does. I bet you insurance does cover sedation for IUDs, but the surgeon probably doesn't make enough RVUs to make it worth their time. That's my guess. Sure, yeah. We can redefine that coverage. Just because insurance covers breast reconstruction after breast cancer doesn't mean anybody can actually afford to take what it covers because it's peanuts. Yeah, good point. Coverage doesn't mean business sustainable. Yeah. Anything else you want to add to the vasectomy conversation, Dr. Ashley Winter? No, I mean, big fan. Huge fan.

25:36I have not done my own. I've done many of them. I did have a guy once who wanted to watch it and he sat there and propped himself up on his elbows and asked every single thing what I was doing. it was very impressive annoying uh it was very impressive but it was funny because so when i was doing a lot of them in practice i was up in in the pacific northwest like like you kelly and um and i was just like you know you try to distract people because that makes them have less pain and it was like always the most interesting part of my day because there'd be like the yes i'm a salmon fisherman in alaska half the year that i like or like i am an arborist or like all the like jobs that like I didn't know about.

26:18That only exist in the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, yeah. And I know like all about those jobs, like all about this. Like, yes, yes. Because those are the only people you're just shooting. Yeah, yes, yes. It's so much more interesting than DC. It's like, I'm a lawyer, I'm a lobbyist. I work in government. Yeah, I'm a lawyer and a lobbyist. And I work in government. And I work for the government. the pacific northwest has has cool jobs for sure yeah you're like oh these are all the things they make like discovery channel tv shows about like okay back to back to hot sex so the in episode four there is and i didn't pick this up until like the second or third or fourth or ninth time that i've watched hater rivalry but the idea that the people so miles is in the cast of the movie is that correct he is like an actor in the movie like a famous actor in the movie do you yeah i think so agree with me yes miles is rose rose's bff in this scenario yeah right he's an actor they're both they're both actors in the movie they're both famous so that when the bar scene is happening the club scene is happening and ilia sees miles two things are happening they're exchanging a look of like, hey, you want to do it?

27:31And he's also realizing if Miles is there, Rose Landry is there, which means Shane might be there. Exactly. Is that, do you agree with me? Yes, there's a lot happening. That was a very intentional situation they put them in. And doesn't Shane see the other hockey player, like the guy? Like, I can't remember if that's true. I call him Marley. I think that's right. It's Marley and then the short one, which probably has a name also. But it's the two other Boston players. okay because like I think I didn't pick up that Miles was an act a famous actor in that movie before like it took me a while he's dancing with Rose there's also like a little gay action with Miles Miles or Shane hard yeah there's like a lot of he was essentially what is it called frauding yeah there was frauding there was frauding going on did I use that correctly I can learn new things I love it.

28:28You sound so good. But I was like, does Shane even notice? Like, I feel like that's where you're, you're wondering if he's just so awkward or, or is it just 2026? What year is it? What year is it when they're doing that? And he's like, so okay with like miles. 2016 is when Jackie's pregnant again. 20 October, 2016 is the SeaWorld situation. So it's that season. That I think this is happening. Yeah, it's unclear how if he's sort of, you know, the whole scene is very, I don't know, magical. I mean, in 2016, people can be gay in public, just not Shane and hockey. Yeah. Is that what you're saying, Rachel, or you're saying something else?

29:13Yeah, no, I'm just, he doesn't seem that aware of the frauding that is happening behind him, but he also does and doesn't really care. He's not aware of anything that doesn't interest him. Yes. He's hyper-focused. He's hyper-focused. Yeah, yeah. He's hyper-focused and I think he's just totally... He's not gay in the like, I want to be with all people. He's very much like, Ilya's my dude. And Rose a little bit. The other thing that Rose, I noticed with Rose, is Rose goes very deep, very fast. The first evening they meet, she's asking him about being eight years old. Is she an Indian roommate? I don't know.

29:51She's very ambitious. She knows what she wants. She's very protective of Shane. who they say she's a two i'm a two and i'm not as i'm not as attractive as rosely andry but she's she's like loves that she wants him to be happy like she's so eights go to two when they're fully developed like they have very two obviously look at me i don't know you're so many today is josh's first day of the enneagram all my friends yeah i don't like you guys i only know one because that's what I am. I don't know any of the other ones. It's okay. It's very wonderful. Okay, anyway. So yeah, she goes... I agree with you.

30:27And that's what I love. It's connected. She finds connection and she is just like very... Because he can't do it on his own and she has to lead him there. She goes on and he accepts it and it's very sweet. Yeah, that's a spectrum disorder. He's not capable of going deep like that. No, somebody has to pull it out of him. But I mean, there's depth there. He's like, yeah, you know, I like to play hockey. I'm making him sound superficial. But he's like, it wasn't crazy yet. Like he's acknowledging like the craziness of his life and like that can cause some intense feelings. How do you feel about Roselandry, Joshua?

31:05I love her. Love her. I mean, she's like beautiful. She clearly cares about him. We're not talking about it today, but when he comes out to her, it's like the exact response every gay man would hope to get when they come out to a girl who they couldn't emotionally fulfill. Because I think a lot of gay men have been in those situations. And it doesn't often go that way, the way that that conversation went. So I just think like her characters, we talked about this last time, I think all of the female best friend characters are just so well written in a show that didn't really have to do that. They could have been sort of second fiddle kind of characters that were sort of throwaway, but they're like each kind of very complex themselves and fully thought out, fully realized characters.

31:54I love her character. Has anyone spent time really going through the various tweets and Instagram comments of the pictures of them? Like, you know how it like quickly goes in the scenes of like, I haven't really spent time looking at those comments. Have you, either of you, any of you? I remember one being like, oh my god this photo is like 100 years long or something like that like people are like obsessed about these two like these are two people are very very big and again it's the meeting of the two worlds it's like when this is the equivalent of when taylor swift started dating freaking the football dude travis travis kelsey it's like these two worlds collide yeah and also i mean i don't know about Rose, but with Shane, obviously he's somebody that has been in the public eye for a long time, but nobody clearly knows anything about his personal life.

32:48So I think for a really famous person, that's also probably really explosive to be like, oh, we haven't seen who you've dated in a long time. I think even the bartender being like, Shane Hollander, it's an honor. Right? And comping his beer forum. It's just kind of showing how big this guy is. Plus, they're in Montreal. all right which is their home team so like he's very big and we start seeing he never goes out he never goes out but he can like he can get rose landry right like the the biggest movie star yeah i want to talk about hudson connor updates which i think is an instagram thing that i follow and they said that heated rivalry has been chosen by british vogue as one of the 29 nine, very specific, best TV shows of the century so far.

33:36At a time when TV was feeling a little tiresome and safe, gay hockey romance, heated rivalry, shot out of left field like a puck across the ice. The magazine praised the show for being beautifully written, meticulously paced, and for its slow burn storytelling that entices the viewer slowly, much like a situationship that turns into true love. Agreed. Agreed. I just love it so much. Well, I think, you know, when Rachel, for anybody who's been listening to these episodes and has made it this far, who hasn't seen Heat or Rivalry, and you just love our banter. I think this is going to be my sister and nobody else.

34:08Like, there's going to be, like, two people who listen to this. All the way through this work. Thank you for not appreciating how big my podcast is, Dr. Lillard. It's huge. But, like, usually there's, like, someone you're interviewing and talking to. This is, like, literally us sitting on a couch at the cottage talking about a TV show. I know. Do you realize what percentage of podcasts are like that? Yeah, that's true. So many of them. Like people just shooting the shit. It's most top podcasts. People being like, so people are either going to hate these six or love these six. And I just love that.

34:42Like I've kept my podcast independent this long that like nobody's the boss of me. And I just get to decide I get to hang out and I have cool friends that want to hang out with me. At the cottage. At the cottage. But my point is, Rachel says, you've got to get through the first three episodes and then the mania starts happening. And I think just the energy of four in contrast to the energy of three. If you watch those two back-to-back, it is a different show. Yeah. I think three got me fully in. I was like, oh, this is a really good show. I was crying in that episode. And then four, I was like, oh, fuck.

35:27I'm like, this is the next level. I think you're right. I think the juxtaposition between the sort of softness of three and then it's just like, even the soundtrack is more intense. It's like, yeah. The best soundtrack of all time. I mean, the soundtrack of all time. So good. Oh my God. That last scene is literally maybe the best scene of television that has ever been made in the history of television. And I even have one... Asterix Rubin actually watches television. like i do watch i only if bill lawrence writes it and only if it's nice i can't do violent television because the world is too disgusting the one thing i don't like about that scene which i would call a perfect scene is ilia's shirt oh the bar i mean i'm trying to look like a trashy russian guy no that's dude that's look up the cost of that shirt that's a jean paul gautier shirt oh really how do you know that i just like to keep you guys guessing about who the hell Kelly Casper's it is what do you think Ilya and the woman he was groping on the dance floor what do you where do you think that what led to because at the end of the night he's in the shower by himself like masturbating to Shane having sex with Rose Landry and it's a super hot scene but like that girl's nowhere around do you think she left at the club do you think she they ever like what do you think happened there i think he was unconsummated i don't think like ultimately that girl was it was titillizing but he'd rather go home and just fucking masturbate because he like he's miserable he wants to be miserable nobody's gonna satiate him like shane is he's got to go just pound it out in the shower okay but is that a shower in a hotel room that he's sharing with the other guy because it's a pretty fancy shower and also why are sometimes they're sharing rooms and other times they're in penthouse suites by themselves.

37:22That's the awards. Does Ilya share a room? Ilya shares a room with the other hockey guy. When he's like, we got to go out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I think Ilya spends extra of his own dollars for those penthouses. And then when they have to share the room, but again, these are professional hockey players. They would, I don't think they'd ever share a room, but I think you need it. you need it for the conversations to happen so during remind me during the montage in the beginning of episode four um are they having sex in hotel rooms or at their houses like where is the sex happening it says like i haven't been here before who did this house oh mr real estate uh there's that's a good point so where are they having a really good point always sharing rooms stairwells good point it wasn't stairwells they're like in maybe maybe it's every time they go to montreal are alone in certain places where they like oh scott hunter's in the room next door but that might have been a special but they were alone in that one i would have to watch the scene again i'll be honest i wasn't paying attention when i was reading you're so good at pulling this apart it's incredible it was a very tightly cropped scene in the montage when they were having sex and it was very dark it's really hard to see a a lot of the details in the show.

38:42May I share? I know they're supposed to do that, but there's a reason they did the darkness, but it is very dark. Ilya's nightclub shirt is Jean-Paul Gaultier. His typical mesh tops, printed t-shirts, and blouses typically cost between$250 and$600 plus. And they did that shirt in stark contrast to Shane's white-ass t-shirt. White t-shirt. Yeah. That was very intentional to show the juxtaposition of that. I might say that Ilya looks better with clothes off and Shane looks pretty good with clothes on, but also off. Oh yeah, for sure. No question. Ilya looks better naked. Ilya looks much better with no clothes off.

39:28He looks really good naked. He also looks very good with just pants. Or a towel, also the towel. Or the shirtless. Pants, no shirt. Yeah, yeah. The bathing suit scene, that was a good scene. We need to see the torso. That's the moneymaker. The ass is also good too. His butt is like the best butt. He's like an excellent man butt. Like it's excellent. There is a great Instagram row where he's like saying, he's like, I'll tell you my squat routine and then he doesn't do it, which is very simple. Oh, to have a testosterone of 950 and be 23. Higher, higher, higher. I'm just saying in real life, he smokes cigarettes and that's not good for your penis.

40:10Yeah. We're wrapping it back to sex ed. Cigarettes are bad for sex. They may look sexy. Thank you, Hollywood. But they're bad for sex. Extraordinarily bad. I just killed everybody's erection with that public service announcement. This podcast is sponsored by Joy and Blokes. One thing I've always believed, if I'm helping one person with their sexual health, I always have to think about who's on the other side of that relationship because intimacy doesn't happen in isolation. And I've said this for years, if I'm prescribing a blue pill for a man, what about his partner? Are they dealing with pain during sex, low libido, hormonal changes?

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42:04Can I say so my sister was just visiting me here in LA where I live and she doesn't come out very often so she went into this like studio tour where you could go to like Stars Hollow from what was that show like Gilmore Girls and what I need like immediately yesterday is like the studio tour experience of going in the nightclub setup. And I want to live there in a moment. And in every apartment, I want to go... Yeah, exactly. Yes, I need to do... I will go to Canada, to wherever they shot this, and I want to go to the house, the cottage, and I want to go all these places. I bet you they do now have a heated rivalry fan tour.

42:50I'm not sure that exists. I need to, I must do this. Well, the cottage is, like the cottage is now Airbnb-able. Yeah. The club scene in episode four was filled at Manson, a multi-level nightclub located in Hamilton, Ontario. Huh. All right, guys, we're going to go. There's an address. 54 King Street, Hamilton, Ontario. I'm speaking at the Canadian Urology Association, but it's not in Ontario. We're going to pitch it and get Josh the John Paul Gautier tiger shirt. The way that the strobe light is on Shane when he's watching Ilya and it's the lights are going and it's the slow music and it's like, kill me a thousand times.

43:35It is so good. Guys, I have to hop off because my husband is going to go work out and I have to take care of our baby. We love you and tell him that we need to know what his Enneagram is. Oh, he did it today. He said he's a three. I don't know what that means. He's an achiever. He just needs to achieve things. That makes sense. You need to acknowledge his achievements. That will be a love language. Acknowledge his achievements. He'll love it. And you need him. He needs to acknowledge how good you are. You're just good at things. Okay. We're going to have a conversation about that later. So welcome.

44:06All right. That's a good place to wrap for everybody. Thank you for season episode four. And we will see you very shortly for the recording of five and six. the end. Bye. Thank you. Bye. If you found this episode funny, helpful, insightful, please take a moment to follow, rate, and share the You Are Not Broken podcast with someone who might need this conversation too. That support is how this information reaches more people. And thank you. For courses, books, and my monthly membership and the Casperson Clinic information, visit kellycaspersonmd.com. This podcast and all content from Dr. Kelly Casperson is intended for educational and informational purposes only, and this is not a substitute for individual medical, coaching, or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

44:56Always seek the guidance of your qualified healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding your health. Never disregard or delay medical advice because of something you've heard on this or other podcasts. Thanks for being here. And remember, you are not broken.