384. The Myth of Aging with Dr. Gilberg

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1:05Welcome to You Are Not Broken, the podcast that challenges everything we've been taught about midlife, hormones, and sexuality. I'm Dr. Kelly Kasperson, board-certified urologist, author, and a leading voice in women's sexual and hormone health. Enjoy the show. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You Are Not Broken podcast. Today, I have the father of a good friend on, which is super fun, Dr. Arnold Gilbert, MD, PhD, psychiatrist in Los Angeles for over 60 years, and author of a new book called The Myth of Aging. And we're going to challenge the idea that life declines with age. And we're going to argue for continued growth and to enjoy every day that we're given.

1:44Thank you so much for coming on today. Thank you for the opportunity. Absolutely. I'm going to start at the very basics, just in case people don't know. What's a psychiatrist? And what do you do that's different from like a therapist, counselor, psychologist? Well, a psychiatrist by definition is a medical doctor. I'm licensed in the state of California as a physician and surgeon. And then when you graduate medical school, it used to be you'd have a rotating internship and then you would study psychiatry for at least three years. In my instance, because I became a psychoanalyst, it was about seven years additional training.

2:27And we also can prescribe, if we wish, medication. A psychologist has a master's degree, usually in psychology, and then a PhD in psychology. They are not a physician and surgeon. They cannot write prescriptions, but they can provide psychotherapy and other modalities of care. Wonderful. And even though we have counselors, therapists, psychotherapists, psychiatrists, there's still not enough people because everybody has a brain. Yes. The field has become quite crowded with psychotherapists, but we still don't have enough of a population of mental health specialists to deal with what's going on in today's world.

3:15I feel like therapists, and maybe this is television, movies, pop culture, but having a therapist going to therapy has become much more normalized now than certainly it was in the 1990s. What was it like when you started out and how have you seen that change? Well, when I started out in the early 60s, it was a very different era because people would secret if they were seeing a mental health specialist because there was kind of shame involved about mental health problems. Today, we're a much more aware community. And so, to some extent, there's a more openness about therapy today. However, you know, I was trained by Franz Alexander.

4:14He was an MD. He was a good friend of Freud's. And I'm the last person alive who've been trained by him. But he felt the private waiting room was also evidence of being ashamed of what your problem might be. And I remember when I was in psychoanalytic treatment with him to become a psychoanalyst, we would all sit together. He tended to run late at his office and we all knew each other and it was fine. But he liked it that way. Yeah, you think even like the stigma gets perpetuated within the physician's office, right? If you keep everybody isolated. And now, you know, we've got HIPAA laws and all of those things that we still respect privacy to a great deal, but trying to de-stigmatize problems as like almost normalizing them to be like, who's getting out of this untraumatized?

5:13No one. some. That's what my book is about. There's a roller coaster of life. And during some periods, it goes well. And for all of us, there are periods that aren't so great. Yep. Do you see things, since you've been in practice for so long, do you see things like, this was trending in the 60s, this was trending in the 70s, this is trending now. Do you see cultural shifts in what people want to deal with? I believe so. I once wrote a professional paper called The Psychoanalyst, An Agent of the Social Milieu, meaning a lot of times, psychiatrists or psychoanalysts deal with material that is culturally new wave, so to speak.

6:05So there are times in the past where, for example, homosexuality, when I went into practice, was an illness. And then the late 70s, finally, the American Psychiatric Association said homosexuality is not an illness. So that made psychiatrists and mental health specialists deal with this normative behavior in a very different way. Yeah, that's a great example. Thank you. I think some people's barriers to seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist is they don't want a label. And even to say for physicians, we have to report if we're in therapy, which is a huge barrier to people wanting to be in therapy.

6:57So there's still like these stigmas that even our profession looks at it like penalizing or like, can you see a therapist and say like, don't put a diagnosis down? or is that in and of itself a diagnosis? You know, for years now, I've been seeing off and on physicians about problems they might have. It could be problems in a relationship, whatever the problem might be. To my knowledge, it would be the responsibility of the patient to advise the medical board of this. But I have a feeling most people don't. No, the stigma of not being able to renew your license, which I know was a good thing. probably never the indication, but it's kind of the stigma that like you're not capable of taking care of patients if you're under the care of somebody, which is so flip from the therapist, because it seems like the therapists are like, you need to be in therapy doing therapy to be the best therapist you can be.

7:53Of course, of course, that's all true. But you know, maybe the medical board is a bit archaic in that area. I think that's true. It's very like, I only see this in reflection, and I know I've talked to your daughter about this because she's practicing OB-GYN, is the amount of trauma that healthcare professionals go through in what we see, what we deal with every day, what we stuff down to keep going. And this isn't just physicians, it's nurses, PAs, anybody who's in the hospital setting. And then we give people zero tools, and then we shame them for seeing a therapist about it. Yes. Well, that's all true.

8:34We would hope that people understand that being in therapy is a good decision to make and not really necessarily a definition of serious difficulties. because as I've stated previously, everyone has these issues going on. And so for those people who seek out some kind of treatment for themselves, they're way ahead of the game. Yeah, I think it's more tools in your toolbox of like, I wonder if there's even better ways to deal with these things, right? And to seek out professional help of like, I can play an instrument, but maybe a teacher might help me play that instrument better. Same thing with life, right?

9:22Like I'm doing okay, but I wonder if there's more tools that I can get. Yes, and being in psychotherapy provides extra tools for you to manage your life. But only if the psychotherapist and the patient have an understanding of each other. There are a lot of people that will see a therapist for a very limited period of time, and it's highly probable they haven't made a connection with the therapist. So one of the most critical parts of being in therapy also is to make some type of a connection with the therapist. And if that is absent, then in all probability, you need to see someone else. or if you're going to engage in therapy, maybe you need to interview two or three or four people till you find the one who can help you the most.

10:25I love it. I think feeling safe, right? If you don't feel safe, how can you be vulnerable and kind of explore areas where you could get better if you don't feel safe in the room? Yes, that's all true. That's very true. What's the difference between psychotherapy and psychoanalysts that you specifically got trained in? Is it a way of thinking about things or how can we break that down for people? Today, there's really not very much left of psychoanalysis, the formal treatment. When I first went in practice, you would see people four days a week and then all probability, they would use the couch.

11:08Franz Alexander was the first psychoanalyst who said, you don't have to come four days a week and you don't have to be on the couch. What's really critical is the relationship between the therapist and the patient. That's really critical. And that's how change takes place. So there's very little left of that today. but we use psychoanalytic principles in our treatment modalities, depending on what your area of interest. For example, a lot changed in the 80s and 90s about psychoanalytic treatment, and there's been a whole movement of intersubjectivity, and that is to talk with the patient about what is current and what is going on in their current life.

12:08That was a big change. And I feel in some ways I was part of that movement. Do you mean instead of like digging up your childhood trauma? Yes, it may come out somehow during the treatment, but people don't want to see someone who's going to say to them, oh, well, wait a minute, you're having trouble in your marriage, but I want to talk about what you were like when you were three years old. It doesn't work. And it shouldn't work. Versus like, but I have a marriage problem today. We're going to get divorced now if we can't figure this out. People are concerned about that, not about what the infantile experience was.

12:50Although it may play a part, we don't want to necessarily address it. This podcast is sponsored by Explore Worldwide. One of the themes that keeps coming up in my conversations is that it's okay to want more. More joy, more connection, a better experience. And thanks to our sponsor, Explore Worldwide, you can get so much more when you travel. All of Explore's adventures are 100 % human-made. Their tour leaders have actually stayed at that family-run guest house that isn't even online. They've eaten at the neighborhood restaurant the locals love and know the trail you'd never find on your own. Your vacation should feel uniquely yours, not like it was generated from the same prompt everyone else entered.

13:33That's the difference a human touch makes. Explore Worldwide's trips are created by real destination experts and led by tour leaders who actually know the places they recommend. They handle everything so you can relax, stay curious, and experience something genuinely memorable. This is your time. Demand more. Visit exploreworldwide.com and don't just travel, explore. This podcast is sponsored by Jones Road. I like to take care of my skin, but I don't like the whole cover-up makeup routine. I like things fast and fresh. So when I found Jones Road Beauty's Miracle Balm, it genuinely fit the bill for my lifestyle and skin.

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14:50Modern day makeup that's clean, strategic, and multifunctional for effortless routines. For a limited time, our listeners are getting a free full-size mascara on their first purchase when they use code YANB at checkout. Just head to jonesroadbeauty.com and use code YANB at checkout. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that our show sent you. Yeah. So you've been doing this for a while, and then you got trained as a rabbi. Was this, tell me about that in like, did it feel like a very natural extension to the work you were already doing, just more of a spiritual component to it?

15:31Because I have to think before there were therapists, psychoanalysts, physicians, the clergy in whatever form that was, played the role of the confidant, the listener, the advisor. So I want to know how that path went for you. Well, it is true. Prior to the history of psychotherapy, which goes back a long time, I might add, people did rely on their ministers or pastor or rabbi to discuss different issues that came up in their life. So the advent of psychiatrists and psychotherapists has changed that a lot. For me, my paternal grandfather was very, very important to me. And I feel in some measure he helped me organize my life differently.

16:25So he had ordination in Poland. But when he came to the United States in 1913, he knew he could not function as a rabbi because there were little economic opportunities for a rabbi. So he went into business. But because I've always identified myself with him, it was a very easy thing for me to say, I want to enhance my learning and issues about my faith. And so that's how I embarked on this over maybe 20 years ago. It took me a long time to graduate because I was working during all those years. That's cool that they allowed the path for somebody to not have to give up your day job, for lack of a better word, to be able to pursue this.

17:29How long have you been a rabbi and how old were you when you started that training? Well, I started the training over 15 years ago, so I'm approaching 90. So I was 75 at that time, and it took me a number of years. I've been ordained for the last six years. Anybody tell you you're too old to be a rabbi? Getting into our book and why you wrote it, everybody thinks they're too old for everything, but you don't seem to have that affliction. No. I enjoy the life that my wife and myself have created for each other. I came to this later in life because I had been divorced. And I want to take a side moment for a second about divorce.

18:19So within the last year, I began seeing a woman who was going through a divorce. and she was very, very upset about it all. And at first I said to her, maybe you would like to see a female therapist. And she said, no, you're fine. I've made a connection and I feel you understand me. So now she's in a lot of pain and she's kind of grief stricken. So I decided, I've been very professional all of my life, but I decided to tell her that I had been divorced, and I understand the pain of it. So I did tell her that. She was shocked. She couldn't believe it. I thought you would be perfect, so you're like me.

19:13You got divorced and whatever. However, she has told me it changed her whole idea about divorce and people. And although she claimed she would never meet anyone again, it's nine months later and she has a boyfriend and she's very much enjoying her new life. So that's the aside of having to be somewhat self-revealing when you're a doctor. But you have to be very careful about that because we don't want to tell stories that would be inappropriate to the therapeutic environment. But it's the sharing in the human experience that helps, I think, helps the bond. It helps you be like, I do understand you on a different level than just hearing your words.

20:08You know, psychoanalysis was an invention of Sigmund Freud. He really knew better than this because he was married, had a number of children, and he knew the dilemmas of married life and raising a family. However, he tried to create a perfect discipline so that people who would come to him who said, I'm having trouble with my spouse or whatever, would be seen as patients when a lot of this is not patient oriented. It's just experiences of life. Yep. Well, I think that's where people get worried about like, am I going to get a diagnosis or like, I just need some help with my sadness right now and my reality that what was is no longer, right?

21:04Which is very human. And not always pathologic, but that doesn't mean you don't need support for it. Yes, that's all true. We have to understand life is very complicated. And part of my book explores a lot of these areas. You know, there's 43 very short chapters. And then my recommendations. People are calling the book encyclopedic. In other words, you may purchase the book, but you look at different chapters in it as a way to define what's going on with your own life. For example, the major issues in the book is my conversation about loneliness. And we know a recent statistic of the American Psychological Association suggests that 50 to 60 % of people feel lonely.

22:04And it's supposed to be worse for you than smoking. Yes. And then also part of the book is about, for me anyway, as a psychiatrist, I don't feel psychotherapy can be effective unless you try to modify the physical part of your life. In other words, it's a mind-body concept, which again, Franz Alexander was the first one in the 30s writing about how psychosomatic illnesses were related to our mental health. So the body and mind are connected. And it's for this reason that I feel strongly that all my patients need to do something that's physical in order to help their mental health state. Oh, 100%.

22:59What do you see in midlife? Pick an age, I don't care, 50, 60, 70, midlife. Where do people get stuck? What are the common themes? Yeah, it varies with different people. But you can get stuck at any period in your life. And usually people who are married and have children get stuck frequently when the children are about to leave the house off to a boarding school or college or something like that. And then couples take another look at themselves and even decide, this is where I don't want to be for the next 40 years. And so it can occur in the 40s. It can occur at any time in your life. You could be in your 50s or 60s or 20s.

24:03and you need to be aware of life circumstances that are altering your life forever. What advice do you give people when they say they're stuck? Like they don't like where they are, but they don't know how to change it. What I say is let's explore it and let's talk about it. That's the difference between a psychiatrist who only passes out medication or a psychiatrist like myself. I was trained to be a medical doctor who provided psychoanalytic therapy. So my interest is not in medication, to be perfectly honest, but is in the ability to talk with each other about what's going on and what's not going on in a right way.

24:55So you were practicing, and I know you talk about this several times in your book, and I was just fascinated by it. you were practicing in an era before the SSRIs came out. And then the SSRIs came out, guns a-blazing, 20, 25 years ago at this point. And I think with the advent of the modern medicine 10-minute visit, the pill, number one, is marketed as a quick fix. Number two, it's easier to give a pill than to listen when you have 10 minutes. We have really become a culture of just get on an antidepressant and it'll fix your problem. Women in their 60s, 25 % of them are on SSRIs. Double the amount of women than men are on SSRIs.

25:42I think we are in an epidemic of not listening and then trying to solve with a pill. And these pills are not, they're not without risks. Well, the problem with all of that is most people don't have the luxury to see a mental health specialist. So they're seeing their primary care doctor who has to see like 40 patients a day to make it happen. And so it's very easy for the primary care doctor to say, oh, yeah, you're depressed or you're sad about this or that. I know how to fix it. Take this antidepressant. So we've become that kind of a culture. But truthfully, and as you've stated, 25 % of women are on an antidepressant, and that's not really good.

26:39For example, it may seem odd. I still have a practice, you know, but I don't have one person on an antidepressant at all. Because I don't have that kind of patient population. So I'm treating a population of men and women who know already in coming to see me, I don't want to talk about medication too much. I want to talk about what's going on in your life and how do I get you engaged in some kind of physical activity to make your life better. So that's the way I work and always have. But for other people, they choose to do it differently. And we're in a pill environment. And there are side effects to these medications.

27:31For example, some cause weight gain. You can have an allergic response with eczema or hives. I've seen all this over the years because I still teach at Cedars. So we see patients on rounds who have had very serious side effects due to psychiatric medication. This podcast is sponsored by Addy. Let's stop pretending low libido isn't a big deal. If it's bothering you, it's worth paying attention to. Meet Addy. Addy is a non-hormonal, FDA-approved option for women under 65 with bothersome low libido. Although the exact way Addy works is unknown, it's believed to work on brain chemistry, is taken once daily at bedtime, and it works over time.

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30:52And if you solely take them off of it, they get very worried that all of their symptoms will return. So there's a reluctance once you get on these medications to never get off of them. Yeah, I think a lot of, especially, this is concerning for anybody, but certainly in the female population post-menopause, The SSRIs are independently associated with bone fracture because we have serotonin receptors on our bones. Nobody knows that. And we've had published meta-analyses of this for over 20 years. Yes, that's true. And the specialist in this is my daughter, Suzanne Gilbert-Lenz, MD. She takes all of this into account when she sees her patients.

31:43Yeah. A proper informed consent is hard to do with any medication when you have 10 to 15 minutes. But certainly, I wonder if full informed consent is not being given with these medications. Sexual dysfunction, as high as 60 to 80 percent, it's almost the default on these medications. And that can be a change in your sexual functions, profoundly important to your life and your quality of life in a relationship. And I think a lot of people don't know that. Well, that's true not only of the women, but men also who are on antidepressants. It can cause erectile dysfunctions and all kinds of other deleterious effects that affect a man's body in a multitude of ways.

32:34And with men, their problems, if they have an erectile dysfunction because of being on an antidepressant, really causes major inhibition in their relationships with women or... Some avoidance. Yes. Yeah. Well, I love that you talked about Viagra and medications to help with erections in your book. The only thing I would add is don't forget about the women. Next edition of your book, you got to put vaginal estrogen in there. Yes. Well, I'll rely on my daughter to do that. If you want the erect penises to go anywhere. Yeah, that's true. So when you're telling people you need to move your body because it helps your brain, do you get reluctance or are they all on board because they already trust you and they're like, okay, I'll start walking?

33:26Like it's a disconnect for some people, right? For some people, they don't take this so well initially. Let's say you're a 55-year-old man or woman, and you've never really exercised or done any of these opportunities. Even in Los Angeles, you have non-exercisers? Well, very few. Everyone here, I'm exaggerating, is interested in their body, how they're going to look for whoever. So I encourage people to get involved with something they like. And it could be spinning on a bicycle. It could be running. It could be whatever. However, I've been involved with an agency in Los Angeles that houses 120 people approximately who have had serious addiction problems and things like that, and they've wound up in jail.

34:34So this is a place where they can go and live for an indefinite period of time. So about four years ago, I decided to fund a program that would encourage the residents to run in the LA Marathon. So it started out with very few people doing this. The last marathon was in March. We had over 45 of the residents, men and women, who ran the marathon. And I take that as such a, and they've all said to me, you know, it's changed their life because the success of running the marathon makes them feel so much more aware and much less of a need to rely on drugs. That is so massively cool. Yeah, I think it's very cool myself.

35:35help. Well, even just like giving yourself a challenge, accomplishing the challenge, the feeling of I can do some hard things, let alone just the dopamine and the serotonin and the muscles that help your brain, oxygen to your brain. Yeah. So, you know, I was a major runner for years. I ran several half marathons. I know the benefit of all of that. It makes you just feel so much better. I don't mean just physically, but mentally also. When you do a half marathon or a marathon, you feel so accomplished and you feel just a lot better about yourself. And you feel alive. Yes, totally. So in writing your book and calling it The Myth of Aging, what would you say some of the biggest myths are that people, I would assume people, really want to hang on to these myths?

36:38There's no question. Aging induces some physical dilemmas, for all of us. What's mythical about aging is you can continue your life and be better at what you do in an ongoing way for an indefinite period of time. And so the basis of the book is to try to help you find a way to overcome whatever issues you might have, including loneliness, for example, and finding a new way to help yourself and to not be convinced that getting older is such a negative experience. I'll be 90 in about three months, and I feel good about myself and what I continue to do. I love it. My grandma lived to 96. And she said this way before 96.

37:44She said, well, there's only one alternative to aging. I have a brother that's turning 94. Physically, he's not so well, but mentally, he's extremely alert. And he tells all the doctors that he sees because he has a lot of physical things wrong. He says the following thing, and he usually puts me on the call with his cell phone. And he says, I know I'm going to be 94, but don't kill me. I'm not ready to go yet. And I have a lot of years left. And I know I don't feel so well, but make sure you keep everything going in a good way. And this is what he tells the doctors that he sees. I love it. They've done research on this.

38:31Your attitude or view or belief about aging actually affects your lifespan. Yes. This is like, there was some Harvard research that did this. People who have a positive view of aging, they live like seven years more. This is not inconsequential. Your mindset on aging is years to your life. Well, that's why as you age, say in your 70s, 80s, 90s, whatever, this period of your life, if you feel you don't have it quite together and you're not feeling so good about yourself, it's an opportunity to go into some type of psychotherapy or a group experience. If you don't have Medicare doesn't provide that much, but if there's costs involved, you can go into group therapy.

39:25There's community agencies that do this all the time. And it's important to probably meet with other seniors who have the same dilemmas that you have. And it causes them to feel better that they're not alone in this period of our lives. Yes. Like the job is literally getting out of your own head. Yes. I'm nearish the 50 year mark. I don't feel old at all. Like I've got some more like joint cracking things that I like to get out with yoga and stuff and like some more teeth maintenance and eye maintenance, but I don't feel old at all. And I look at these young people and I'm like, man, you're young.

40:09Life is so long. At almost 50, I want you to feel as though your life has not completely begun. You have a long time to make new decisions and new opportunities for yourself. It's so crazy. I'm like, this is by and large, probably halfway. It's incredibly optimistic we call this midlife, right? Like this used to be, 47 was the US life expectancy in 1900. Then it took a dip because of the flu. Then it went back up. You're like 126 years ago. And it wasn't, everybody will argue it's infant mortality, but it wasn't just infant mortality. We didn't have antibiotic, right? Like we didn't have what modern medicine has now.

40:53And it's incredibly optimistic to call this mid-life, like we're halfway through. Yes. Do you feel 89 and 9-12? Do I? Yeah. Not really. Mentally, I don't at all. I feel like I'm 40 or 50. Physically, I'm developing some aches here and there and stuff like that. So I kind of see it as part of my aging, and I can write about it and talk about it. So I'm very accepting of all of this. And I wish whoever listens to your podcast understands that aging, there is the myth about aging, but we can't get away from the physical aspects of aging. It occurs and we're all afflicted with certain issues. However, mentally, you can remain very young, which will help you physically also.

41:58Yes, that is so true. People's body image, their relationship with their bodies, their disdain for their bodies, the ability to spend money to try to change their bodies. This has to be as bad or exuberant as it's ever been. Like, were women and men coming to you in the 1970s being like, I hate this spaceship I'm in, like they are now? No, people, well, in some ways, people were probably more accustomed in the community I've been part of to explore their mental health issues. However, there was very little emphasis on our physical well-being during that period of time. I was always into it from the beginning because I was always into exercising and doing stuff like that.

42:56And because of Franz Alexander, he was a major devotee of the mind and body. It was good for me to be able to train with him because we saw eye to eye on a lot of stuff. He would say, if you're not going to get out and get some exercise, then it's silly for you to keep coming here because I want to treat your mind and body. I've been doing this for many years and myself and my patients have benefited from this approach. Yeah, it's beautiful. I just think nowadays with video in our pockets, on our phones, and the ability to compare ourselves to other people visually in despair, there's this extra burden of do not grow old.

43:44And it's just such an argument with reality. Yes, it is. And we have ads on television all the time about how to effectively alter our body to look younger and things of this sort. And now, of course, there's that whole craze with Ozempic, which is used for weight loss. And although it has benefits, it has side effects also. Yep. Especially if you're not eating properly and exercising properly. Yes, we have to be aware of the kind of world that we're living in today. And it is physically oriented, but not in the best way. It's not going to take a group spinning class at a health club. It's more like an isolating experience to find yourself able to lose weight.

44:41Yeah, that's right. For somebody who's listening who feels like it's too late, Too late to lose the weight. Too late to change. Too late to feel better. Too late to want more. What's your honest response after a lifetime of doing this work? It's never too late. And I want to emphasize that. If you're 95, you still can get it going to feel better for yourself. So it's never too late to engage with life and our mental health and our physical well-being. There's a physician, and I can't remember her name, but I read her book. And she wrote the book when she was 100. She's now 101. She writes in her book of how she got divorced when she was 70 and how it was devastating.

45:28And now, with the retrospective nature of that, she's like, that was 30 years ago. 30 years ago, I had a divorce, right? And she's gone on to have a wonderful life and a new relationship and all the things. But when you're 70 and you're going through a divorce, people are like, this is awful. This is the end. It's like, it could be you're 30 years ago at some point. Yes, well, it happens. I think Dr. Spock, who wrote the classic book on pediatrics and other issues, he got divorced when he was in his 90s. Whoa. And whatever it takes to make our life worthwhile, we have to do. But we can't be narcissistic at the same time and do everything selfishly for ourselves.

46:21As a relationship grows older, issues come up with your spouse, with your partners. and we can't just forget all the years we've spent together when the aging process sometimes takes over in not a good way. Yeah. Do you think it's a natural part of human development to become less egocentric as you get older? I think about the 20s, right? Teenagers, certainly, in the 20s of like, what am I going to do? What's for me? Where's my, what are my plans? Blah, blah, blah. And through, and this is not everybody, some people stay narcissistic forever, but through wisdom and maturity, you realize, I think I'm here for the common good.

47:07I'm here to share. I'm here to teach. I'm here to have community. I'm here, like it's this evolution where it becomes less about what you can get and more what you can give. Is that fair? Yes, I believe that to be the case. I think for most people, as they age, their being egocentric is less and less because they've had so many lessons in life about how to do it better, that you would hope that people at that age would just say to themselves, what can I do that's better? It's beautiful. I think the other wisdom I see as people get older is less the event that happened today, this too shall pass, more than like, this is devastating, this is the worst, how am I ever going to recover?

48:02There's more of a grace, there's more of a like, with experience and wisdom comes kind of letting small things go. I agree with that. I talk about it a little bit in the book, but first of all, as we age, we need to forgive ourselves a lot more. In other words, we're our worst critics. That's beautiful. And we need to be aware that whatever we've done today, which is imperfect, we have a way of modifying that the next day. So you have to forgive yourself first. I don't care if you're 20 or if you're 90, because we're the harshest critics when it comes to ourselves. And then you have to find better ways to do things when the old way of behaving becomes insignificant or damaging.

49:05Well, thank you for writing the book, The Myth of Aging. It was a pleasure to read. Personally, I love short chapters. That's why I did it that way. Yeah. I'm glad your editor lets you do it that way. Because I'm like, I like little chunks. I presented it that way to the publisher and the man who helped me write the book. I said, this is what I need to do. I don't want 15, 20 pages. I want to write something succinctly and then make my recommendations. So I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love it. Thank you very much. I hope to meet you in real life when I'm visiting your daughter in Los Angeles. Okay.

49:50That's a deal. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks for coming on today. Yes. Thank you. If you found this episode funny, helpful, insightful, please take a moment to follow, rate, and share the You Are Not Broken podcast with someone who might need this conversation too. That support is how this information reaches more people. And thank you. For courses, books, and my monthly membership, and the Casperson Clinic information, visit kellycaspersonmd.com. This podcast and all content from Dr. Kelly Kasperson is intended for educational and informational purposes only, and this is not a substitute for individual medical, coaching, or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

50:34Always seek the guidance of your qualified healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding your health. Never disregard or delay medical advice because of something you've heard on this or other podcasts. Thanks for being here, and remember, you are not broken.