Episode 67: And I Woke to Find the World had Waited for Neither of us

0:27D我在 我 在

0:41I hear what you're saying, but is coming down on yourself really what's needed? Bass, you've lived more in the last two years, done more than most people do in their entire lifetime. Taking a second to stop and look around is not the worst idea I've heard coming from you. Sid, letting your guard down is dangerous. Now, with everything going on, what might be on the horizon once winter is over, the baby coming, that Kendra situation not settled yet on leaving the station, do I go with her and start my new family or stay back and protect the world from the U.S. government? Protect the world? I'm going to have to add delusions of grandeur to your growing list of symptoms.

1:26You know what I mean, Sidney. there's a lot going on with a corrupt administration which is acting upon some agenda which isn't fully understood yet as much as i despise it and i do said i loathe it i hate it but i'm the ice sheriff people are looking to me for answers to to to lead this uh this rebellion No, not exactly the right word. Movement, maybe. Tamir Tomato. Bass, are you a public figure? Yes, undoubtedly. Have you stood up to murderers, drug dealers, corruption, impropriety? No. You did it before you got here, and you did it after, just on a larger scale. The only thing that changed between back then and now is you.

2:18And that I'm stuck here in an ice bucket on the ass end of the planet and surrounded by the absurd and strange and ridiculous things the world doesn't even believe in. And with all that, I'm expected to be some, I don't know, a leader? Hunt to that already as a marshal? As a fighter? An instrument to help fight against the actions of our government? All right, all right. Let's go with that for the moment here. An instrument for good and righteousness. Apple pie and the flag. Making sure all those things don't get perverted. Is that honestly a bad thing? No. No, it's not a bad thing. But how am I supposed to be the one on the front line?

3:06Hmm. I see what you mean. You need to be sharp. Viral. Full of energy. Okay. That makes sense. Oh. Hey, before I forget. How's Kendra doing with the baby of yours? All right, I'll give you that one. I may not be as worn down as I believe. Maybe still some fight left in this old mud. But I'm no fresh-faced rookie anymore. My eyes are going, my hearing is questionable at best, and my knees ache all the time. And I'm getting a bit doughy, I need to get to the gym more. Okay, yes, there isn't a single one of us that isn't immune to aging. As we get older, we need to work harder to stay fit, to eat right, probably cut down on the cigars that we love so much.

3:58That's the body. You're more the physical guy than I am, so I'll leave you the correct PT choice to you. I'm more of the brain guy, and I think it's a well-known fact you need more than a sharp eye or firm hand. You need a focused mind. You need to clearly be able to define what it is you're doing. even more important than that is why

4:23how many times have you fired your sidearm and I'm not talking just while on duty I'm talking training, qualifications, competitions everything all together I don't know 20 years in the marshals somewhere around 5 ,000 a year through 100 ,000 in my lifetime so far, give or take. 100 ,000 rounds? Wow. I bet your handgun needs serious maintenance throughout that process. Yeah, of course, ammo's dirty. The last thing you want is a weapon to malfunction the field, recipe for disaster. You gotta clean it, you gotta fix the sights, and recalibrate the weapon, the instrument. Hey, there's an idea. Wonder if we can apply that same logic to other things.

5:12like, I don't know, maybe calibration of yourself to fully accept why you want to do this or need to do this if that's the case. Isn't that what all this, I mean, me seeing you once a month is supposed to be for? Well, this is more of an overall mental wellness check. Think of it like seeing your general practitioner for your reoccurring exam, right? You're giving the general going over, kick the tires, make sure all the fluids are topped off. But even they have to refer patients to other experts who specialize in different fields. I am a psychiatrist, yes, but if I saw a patient who had, let's say, serious chemical dependencies and was suffering, well, I'd have to refer them to an addiction specialist.

5:59Doesn't mean they have to stop seeing me. They just need a little extra help for coping with that specific item.

6:07so what is a specialist called who deals with an old grizzled marshal who lost his path and needs to get centered to find out how to get back onto the correct road ahead his name is james james a guy named wait you don't oh sydney come on i am 100 serious bass james works in mechanical James. James Brightsky, that's the specialist. He's an indigenous person from the U.S. Osage Nation, if I remember correctly. Sydney, what exactly are you telling me here? That's the Western culture doesn't have the market cornered on therapeutic ways. The Buddhist monks in Nepal have a practice called Tanglin, where they meditate by seeing themselves taking in others' pain and breathing out compassion to replace it.

6:54In Peru, the Koradaro perform a spiritual cleaning by using herbs like basil, raw eggs, or smoke to draw out negative energies. In Africa, the Zulu Sangoma have a ritual where they commune with their ancestors. I can rattle off a dozen more. Sydney, you know me. I don't have faith in the religion I was raised in, and I don't begrudge anybody else what they may believe, but come on. I am way more see-it-with-my-own-eyes-and-hold-it-my-hands kind of fella. Yet, you readily accept everything that is down here. How did you phrase it just a bit ago? Oh, there it is. Thank you. You're surrounded by the absurd, strange, and ridiculous things the world doesn't even believe in, which I had to remind you of after hearing you think it.

7:45I would feel stupid doing whatever that a sage do. Plus, the last thing I want to do is offend anybody or insult or belittle their religion or customs. James is good people. He likes you. Plus, he's a nice old agent. Just hear him out, and the worst thing that will happen is he talks your ear off. No worse than Kenan. I'll think about it, okay? All I can ask. How are you dealing with the upcoming fatherhood? Nervous, as you can imagine. I haven't been sleeping much. And with the window closing as of tomorrow morning, I'm going to update and download this month's findings back to Beauregard Lohing for enhanced analysis.

8:36Are you sure that's necessary? I doubt there's anything applied to applications, or the physics department will be able to discern we haven't already identified. Be that as it may, and I must admit to having my own doubts on their ability. Nevertheless, it is simply matter of procedure. How about the appearance probabilities and appearance of event five? It is way too early to begin assembling any metrics. My hope is that the data collected now can cross-run against the previous two events will show some commonalities. Enough where an algorithm can be introduced to narrow and refine the exit aperture nine months from now.

9:19Agent Fowler, progress on the mutation of the computer malware program inserted? It should be well entrenched by now. Initial projections showed establishing a subtle presence for the first 30 days. During the second month, embedded backup and safeguard files would be hidden in the event any particular aspect of the program was discovered. By now, it should be running penetration testing and looking for any weaknesses in the main operating systems. so then the program will be in place and fully ready to initiate. Thirty days before she reappears back on the ice. We can take full control of the station and the AI when we return.

9:58Oh, we're working on specialized emitters. Based on the data, we're able to recall from Kylie Minogue's readouts that should project or emit. Is it emit or project? Let's go with emit, Doctor. Emit, emit, very good, indeed. emit a lattice of rotating gravitational fields, a Kern metric or a quasi-Kern rotating mass, source, let's say, was it Quarter Pounder or Big Mac first? Where was I? Get out of the feeble forest, Grandad. Oh, forest, right. Using fluctuating positive and negative hypercharged electrical nonlinear electromagnetic fields and gravitational shearing, shearing, mind you, from a past anomaly.

10:45Say, Event 2 or Tesla tech gone sideways creates a field interaction node. This node stabilizes it. A bubble of space-time prevents locometric expansion while still allowing curvature from gravity to affect the exterior normally. No, no, no. It was the Big Mac, then the Filet-O-Fish. Somebody, please. We create a bubble where the station does not move, but the universe, the reality they're stuck in, continues and deposits them here, in our reality. All right, and this will keep that bloody station here on the ice with us? Most assuredly. Pickles, onions, sesame? No, no, that's the wrong one. I'd really like to go back to the part where an armed commando team is going to take the station by force?

11:36Isn't that a bit, well, extreme? Dr. Lorenz, I am not in favor of an iron-fisted approach. I do not prefer the casual brutality of such blunt trauma being deployed in any endeavor. However, do I need to remind you that we are not the only group in pursuit of this station? Now does he feel his title hang loose about him like a giant's robe upon a dwarvish thief. So now I become Macbeth, Dr. Lorenz? A thief wearing the king's skin? What we are doing here to secure our future and the bard's telling of a Scottish play are not synonymous. Can we... Can we please come up with potential alternatives to a hostile course of action?

12:33We're academics, not Nordic barbarian ransackers. We all signed up for a specific mission and for a specific outcome, Doctor. Are you not committed to that goal? I am. But there was nothing that said we had to resort to base, emotionless methods to achieve that end result. I know Thick Shakes was in there somewhere. Not the ones that bring the boys back to the yard. That was 20 years later. Oh, that hell is made me need more blood pressure. What am I hearing about funding being affected? As I am no longer burdened with the responsibility of station manager, I cannot say precisely. However, from what I've observed, funding from the back office services at the station will be impacted.

13:22but rest assured as there should be no direct impacts to Project Atlas. Our funding comes direct from Beauregard Lowing rather than the taxpayers. What about the indirect impacts? Obtaining supplies, replacement parts, or general administrative needs? I trust no matter the reductions made out there, in here we will continue to conduct our research and make all necessary preparations to secure Roboto-Bondar station and then further refine... I knew it would come back to me. Two old beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. Trick a little double dot, did you see there?

14:05Wonderful. With that, you may all go now.

14:21Mr. Bright's guy? Mr. Bright's guy? Marshall, what brings you all the way down here to my homeless shop? Need something fixed? Actually, that's not too far off.

14:40I was talking to Dr. Bremer. Man, I feel foolish for asking this. why don't you just ask and let me decide to exclude squishing myself

14:56lately with everything happening so damn fast I have doubts about coming here without you yes both I guess sounds like a real bummer man is there something I can do to help happy to if I'm able.

15:21Sidney, Dr. Bremer, reminded me that there are other forms, other ways to try to bring focus to your life. You mean like Dianetics? Well, I'm not a Scientologist, Marshall. No, no, no. No, no, not that. I feel so insulting when you ask. Wait a second. You already knew exactly why. What did Sid call ahead? Yeah, he did. He called down here a few hours ago. Damn it. Sid, he knew you'd feel like you were chasing a stereotype. Be all uncomfortable. You were. Hey, man, Zeke was right. Making you squirm is fun. Well, I'm glad I can continue to be a source of amusement for all you down here in the station, Chief.

16:17Oh, no, don't get the wrong idea. I'm sorry, Marshal. Look, this is my first winter over, and the others told me you had to find your amusement any way you can. Look, I'll tell you what I told Dr. Bremer. I would love to help you out, but what he described and what you really need is a visit to a sweat lot. My people do have that tradition, but it's just not possible down here. Everything has to be built and laid out exactly correct. All the materials, the rock, mud, and wood are all sanctified in rituals. Well, the rocks used to heat the hut are also very special and are blessed. Obviously, I know all the steps and how to do it, but the fact is we just don't have any of that stuff down here.

17:05I understand, Mr. Brightsky. I guess it just wasn't the stars for us. Wait a minute. She just said something. There may be... Back in the 90s, my sister, Triana, worked at this new age crystal healing booth. She ran a small kiosk at a mall in Bartlesbury at Silver Lake. She'd sell all that 90s stuff with crystals, different rocks, oils, beads, dream pictures, all the basic tourist stuff. She even had a side hustle. She would schedule private appointments to eat so-called spirit journey. I mean, it was all horseshit and just theater playing up to some dumb colonel. And we're good. Now, Tarana had like no training or knew any of the stories from our elders, our traditions, or how anything worked other than operating a disc man.

18:04But damned if some of those people weren't convinced they were going through something. Okay, I'm curious. Did she tell you what she was doing or what her process was? Yeah, yeah, that's the wacky thing. The girl put her own little flair on it, but most of what she was doing was actually rooted in our traditions. Damn, I hated how lucky she got sometimes. Little wet face. Wait, you're not actually... At this point, Mr. Bright Sky, I'm going to try it.

18:44Let me go talk with Patrick. I'll need some specific plants that he has. Okay, let's just make sure we're clear. I'm above... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, don't worry, man. The good stuff, it's not for you. It's for me. Okay. No, she used, like, some flowers from our back garden, turning them over a small patch of ripped-up carpet that the family dog left the piss on caused more smoke than it stunk like hell. She would burn it in a large stone bowl near the goober she was hustling. Domenia, lavender, mugwort, ganes and stuff like that. Fine. Let's just skip anything with urination, though.

19:28Hey, I don't go in for none of that firefighter Fred stuff myself. It's not my jam. I'll see if I can figure out something less... Disgusting? I was going to say freaky pervy, but consenting adults and all that? Yeah. Yeah, can you give me like two hours? I'll make a quick call to Butt Face and make sure I remember everything right. Get some stuff and I'll meet you in the Jamesway Hut 7. Yeah, okay. I'll see you at 1700 over at... Wait. I thought Jamesway Hut 7 was off limits. Oh, yeah. 100 % it is. All that's in there is a lot of old, unneeded furniture and equipment that's shoved in there until it can be carted away back from the mainland.

20:14It had its windows blown out more than a few times, but something about the angle that was set up with the wind direction bouncing off the station wasn't correct. Also, it doesn't help that it's supposed to be haunted as fuck, man. Haunted? One of the summer huts. Haunted by who? No clue. I just figured it was some of the old timers down here hating the new guy on his first winter. Like those scary tales you all tell at midwinter, right? Don't worry. The spirit you will be seeing is a guide. The spirit is what you want to see. Any Carolan, pulpit, ice, or beetlejuice things, I doubt it's in there.

20:57This just keeps getting better and better. James, is there anything I need to prepare? Oh, absolutely Make sure you use the bathroom between now and when you leave the station for Hut 7 Trust me on that one Grab a diesel heater from Kenan and a tank of fuel Also make sure you have warm boxers on Sorry, what? Four briefs, boxer briefs, whatever you normally go sporting During this ritual, you're supposed to be in nothing but a towel wrapped around you but this native ain't gonna have you go elect native. That's how story gets started down here, you know? See you around 5 p.m. And don't be late, Marshall.

21:37Talk about my fee later. James, it smells bad enough as it is right now. You seriously want to light that on top of a curtain one of the bumbles peed on? I mean, you shouldn't even be touching that, man. No one of this places said to be haunted. Bumbles? Oh, yeah. Zeke says we have to keep using the term Ice Feet. Says he's bringing it back. Also, yes, my sister said that dog piss is one of the key factors in how this should work. Sorry, but something with the ammonia and the flowers burning, I think. And Ice Feet piss notwithstanding, this place has like a serious bad juju. Even the hairs on the back of my balls are standing up.

22:21Visual. All right, temp gauges, 74. Let's do this. Walk me through this again while I strip down. I'm going to light everything in the bowl. You lie down holding the crystal in your left hand and the CD of Enya in your right hand. I'll say some words, move the bowl around you, and then sit at the table by your head. Why Enya, exactly? Dude, are you kidding? Enya was huge in the 1990s. She was the face of the New Age movement. Plus, she's Celtic, and just like my people, her people are close with their land. In tune. Okay, you like the stuff that smells like Missouri. You say the words, you set the bowl by my head.

23:02I'm holding the crystal in the CD. Then what? Oh, right, the most important thing. Write down the question you have. So I burn that in the bowl, too. Then you close your eyes, and you just focus your mind on the music, repeating the question over and over in your head. After that, it's never supposed to be the same thing. People see themselves standing in a forest, sometimes the beach. My sister said one guy was in a Dairy Queen, but all of them said they saw an animal who gave them guidance or advice. Look for that bass. and while i'm looking for the animal guide spirit you'll be doing what going on my own journey thank you patrick you ready no but let's do this okay oh uh a disclaimer this isn't a true Osage Nation ritual, alright?

24:09It's a new age thing Buttface came up with on our own. Why it works, no idea. But don't ever confuse this with the other thing. That is very serious. That is ours. And don't be trying none of our practices without somebody who knows what they're doing. Or at minimum, a jank-ass little sister Buttface kiosk worker. Okay, let's kick it. Oh, great cosmic blanket of universal knowing. Wrap this one in your organic cotton embrace. James, are you seriously going to do it like that? Hey, what face says you've got to sell it? She called it pageantry. Plus, you already paid me, and she said that's a sacred bond.

24:57So you're getting the full package. Proceed. Get back in the character, man. Oh, great cosmic blanket of universal knowing. Wrap this one in your organic cotton embrace. Let his mind drift like patchouli smoke through the yurt of time. Holy crap, is this beyond offensive. To New Agers, maybe. To my people, this is hilarious. You colonizers will believe anything. Now, zip it. beneath him birth mother's bean bag above him sky father's lava lamp as he breathes in the sage of understanding and exhales the gluten of ego let his third eye open like a garage door during a full moon drum circle he is your traveler i am the guide we now call to his spirit animal Oh wandering guide of spiritual co-dependence, reveal thyself in the form of a badger, flamingo, or mid-sized SUV.

26:08We are ready. We are grounded. I am slightly high on chamomile and intention. Oh, or like namaste.

26:23Okay, I'm sorry Mr. Bright Sky, but this is stupid. and culturally insensitive to somebody. I'm still confused as to who exactly. I'm getting up because my manager books are starting to turtle. Ah, head rush. I got up too fast. Mr. Bright Sky, you still... Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Why am I now in a high school hallway? My high school hallway. In my boxers. God, I haven't had this nightmare in decades. Once again, young Marlow, I see you have not been giving due attention to your future ambitions. Mapped out the proper course for yourself. Thankfully, my office hours don't conflict with your Chem Lab final you need to ace to get into the University of Kansas.

27:13You gotta be kidding me. Mr. Sporkin. Ken Sporkin. My high school guidance counselor. You're my spirit animal. Hey, Bass. Young Mr. Marlow. U.S. Marshal now, huh? Good for you. You found me. That's good. A lot of people don't make it this far. Usually bail out once the shivering starts or the snow starts whispering racial slurs. Not a wolf. Not an eagle. Not even something cool like a snake. Just you. You are my spirit animal. Technically, I'm not an animal. I'm just your animal. It's different. Symbolism's not always sexy, buddy. Sometimes your guide is a damp man in orthopedic shoes who once told you to join the AV club to work on your communication skills.

28:08Yeah, I was literally chased out of the AV club, if you remember. And yet here you are, leading people, running a federal district, about to be a dad. Ha! Looks like all that trauma turned into some transferable skills. Good on you, kid. Okay. Okay, best. Let's take the scent of yourself. It's the scent of yourself. You're on the South Pole. You're in a haunted James Way hut, peed on by ice feet. Bumbles. You just underwent a new age crystal healing ritual created by a teenage girl 30 years ago, and you're laying on a cot in your boxers holding a CD of Enya, talking with my spirit animal, who is my high school guidance counselor.