Mariska Hargitay - 'My Mom Jayne' & 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit' [LIVE]

27:51Mariska Hargitay:They want you to read for it. I don't think it's up your alley. It's very dark. I don't think you're gonna like it. It's very dark. So I was like, okay, well why don't you send it over? I'm in this development deal anyway, so I probably can't even do anything. But I read it and I thought it was one of the best scripts I'd ever read. I felt so deeply connected to it and it was like done in that moment. from my side at least but I loved it and he was so shocked as was everyone the agents too just because they knew me and you know I'm like this but so I went in and you know I started reading for it a series of auditions as one does and then finally you know read for Dick Wolf and And that was the end of it.

28:43So a couple of things I just want to fact check with you. Second audition, you go in, or second reading, I don't know what you call it. Having really gravitated to this material, you come and you did apparently a very good first audition. You come in for the second and there's somebody else there.

29:05Mariska Hargitay:Yeah, well, I think it might have been the third audition. Oh, the third, okay. Oh, are you talking about, are you talking about? No, I'm talking about another woman. Oh, okay. You're talking about the audition. Okay. Yes. He knows so much. I just want to make sure I get the story right. So I think it might've been the third audition. I had read for other people first, like maybe first the casting director and then, you know, a couple of producers and then they wait to bring you in for the big guns, right? For Dick Wolf. So I walk in now I'm reading with Dick and There's another woman in the audition in the waiting room and I'm like This is not okay, so I see her she's gorgeous.

29:47Mariska Hargitay:She's just intelligent. She's perfect and I go in and I go listen to me. I don't know who that other woman is But she needs to go home because you may not realize it, but this is my part. I am Olivia Benson. And he just laughed and laughed and laughed. And then we did the audition, and he gave me a couple of notes. And I said to him, and this is the best part, Dick Wolf. It doesn't get bigger than Dick Wolf in terms of producing. He has like 45 shows on the air right now, and he probably did at the time. But he gave me some notes, and I go, oh, those are very good notes. Thank you. Those are very good notes.

30:28Mariska Hargitay:and he's like, oh really? Are they good notes, you think? And it was just so funny but I meant it because a lot of times you don't get good notes but he wrote it so maybe they were good notes and it was just so funny and so anyway I left and the girl was still there and then it turns out that the girl was auditioning for another part and she was in the pilot too and was fantastic and perfect and we became friends but she could have played Olivia Benson, I'm just telling you. I mean, not really. But sort of. Okay, so that's that one. Then, I guess the last time you go in before you officially had the part is to read for the network?

31:13Mariska Hargitay:Yes. I have read that there were three men and three women there. That is true. Okay, so first of all, obviously one of the men was Chris Maloney, but I also heard Tim Matheson and John Slattery? Tim Matheson and somebody else Not John Slattery No, it was Tim Matheson and I think it was Nick Chinlan, all amazing actors Now did you And so I did not know Chris Maloney but I was told that John Slattery was going to be there So I walked in and said Slattery And Chris looks at me and goes, Maloney! And that was the beginning. And it was done. Did you, though, like, I guess the rationale of bringing in three finalists of each gender, was the plan that you would each read with each of the other, like you were going to read with all of the other men?

32:13No, they paired us up. Okay, so they somehow knew.

32:15Mariska Hargitay:They paired us up because as soon as they put me with Maloney, I was like, this is a lock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is done. No, I knew it. When I saw him, I was like, oh, wow, that guy, that guy. And there were amazing actors in the room, but I said, that's the guy. I guess he was best known at that point for Oz. Never seen it. Never seen it. Okay, so this was... Never seen it, never seen him. Had no idea who he was. But it was there. But I just knew, you know, it's a feeling, and I was right. It was kind of obvious. So as soon as I heard when they said Mariska and Chris, I was like, okay, well this is going well and did you how soon after that did you know you had the part do you remember where you put it this way we walked in and you're reading for the network which is so nerve-wracking and use the time that an actor is the most nervous because this is it and it's a lot of people in a room and it's super stressful Chris started telling me a story as we were walking down the hallway and there's 20 people in the room and when we get in the room he finishes his story and I'm like

33:23Mariska Hargitay:and he finished his story and I just went oh okay so it's like that and they went oh so it's like that so it was just great and we read together and it was you know it was good and they told you pretty quickly after yeah like when we left when you left that day oh yeah amazing and I'm sure you you said to yourself well for the next 27 plus years of my life. Could you ever have imagined? No, no, no. I had done pilots before. I'd been fired from pilots before. There's so many new shows that go, and the more you learn about television, you realize how difficult and how many factors it takes to get any show on the air.

34:10Mariska Hargitay:Great shows. There's just so many moving parts. And it's, now as a producer, I can't believe how difficult it is. It's incredible. So, when something gets on the air, it's like a miracle. So, I couldn't imagine, I mean, listen, I knew that it was a Dick Wolf production. I knew how brilliant, and that he was a true, true visionary. That I knew. I also knew that he had, you know, law order under his belt and so he knew what he was doing and it was smart television really smart television and this was unlike anything that what had been done this was extraordinarily progressive at the time nobody was talking about sex crimes that was actually the working title was sex crimes and uh i was just ready for the journey i didn't know where it was going to go but to do this script with these producers with this co-star i was like i don't know that it gets better than this yeah I was right.

35:09Yeah. Incidentally, yes.

35:13Mariska Hargitay:Thank you. Why were the characters named Elliot and Olivia? Those are the names of Dick's children. And the idea of when these characters were conceived, I've heard, I think it was, is it Nick Bear or somebody from the over the course of the show. Neil Bear. Neil Bear. Excuse me. Yes. Neil Bear. That was a dick called me up because you're going to be very happy. That's how he talks. Mariska, you're going to be very happy. I just I just hired Neil Bear, who you worked with on ER. And I loved this writer. He was so genius. and he wrote several of the episodes that I was on on ER. I loved every single thing about that experience.

36:06Mariska Hargitay:And all the writers. And again, it was such a training ground for me. It even taught me how to be a lead in a show. And so when Neil came, I was so happy because we had gone through, I think, two showrunners at that time. The show was still finding its voice. For early days, yeah. They weren't right. And then Neil came, and he was extraordinary. Well, the way he spoke about these two characters, and I wonder if you guys consciously thought of it this way as you were playing them, but that Olivia's basically one half of a person, sort of the empathetic advocate for the victim, whereas Stabler's the rage.

36:47Mariska Hargitay:Yeah, we looked at it like Olivia was the empathetic, compassionate mother, and Elliot was the angry, protective father. So you had everything, but you had these two protectors. Their styles were a little different, that's all. So for the show, you had to move from L.A. to New York. Yeah. And at the outset, how much backstory were you given or did you even feel you needed to play Benson? And I guess just to add to an already long question, maybe you can share i know there was at least in the early going a lot of kind of homework that you were doing in terms of what a person like this might might do i heard about somebody named tanya collie is that anyway yes yes um i think this is my favorite interview i've never how about how prepared is he tell me about my childhood when did i first fall in love Yes, so as soon as I got to New York, and Chris was so New York and already had cop vibes, and he was from D.C., actually, and so he's a very powerful person.

38:09And again, that was a thing for me because I was like, you know, softy, gentle, loving, joyful girl from L.A.

38:18Mariska Hargitay:And so I was like, I got to get into this other frame of mind. And so I started going on ride-alongs and started going to different precincts. And I met this detective named Tanya Cawley from the Special Victims Unit. I met many Special Victims Unit detectives. But she was such a badass and so kind and compassionate. But first a badass. Like you wouldn't know she was kind and compassionate until you got to know her. and but I was like that's what I want to be that's who I wanted to model myself after and you know she was just wonderful and funny and then and then in the early stages Dick Wolf was being honored at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York it was a dinner called the Silver Whistle Dinner for doing this work on sexual assault and domestic violence.

39:19Mariska Hargitay:And so it was that night that I learned the statistics. He just invited me as a guest, but I learned the statistics of sexual assault and domestic violence and child abuse. And that was the night that really just changed my life, because that's when the education began of, you know, one in three women in their lifetime, one in six men in their lifetime. and the statistics were amazing. You know, one in four women by the time they're 18 years old. And I could not believe that these were the statistics. This was an epidemic and nobody was talking about it. And we were writing a show about it. And so that's when I realized it was so much more than a show.

40:09Mariska Hargitay:and after learning the statistics and being on the show, the fan mail from ER was, hi, I love you as Cynthia Hooper, you know, whatever, can I get an autographed picture? And then all of a sudden the fan mail started coming in with women disclosing their stories of abuse to me, and I went.

40:35Mariska Hargitay:And I needed to figure out how to respond. So I started a foundation, so Joyful Heart was my response to being inundated with the subject matter, but needing to do something about it. And also realizing that I had this platform. Like, I had to do it because I had the perfect platform to talk about it. and that since, you know, when things are on TV and television becomes a water cooler conversation, it becomes easier to metabolize. So all of a sudden this beautiful community started around SVU where people started talking about sexual assault and it became a subject that was easier to metabolize because there was community around it and you could talk about it.

41:30Mariska Hargitay:And we talked so much about taking the shame off the victim and putting it with the perpetrator. And, oh, thank you. And so that was the gift of a lifetime. You know, we all try to figure out why are we on this earth? What are we here to do? What are we meant to do? Who am I? How do I serve? And it was just handed to me in the most extraordinary way. And I'm so grateful for it. Now it's, yeah, it's a beautiful...

42:18Mariska Hargitay:It's a privilege to play Olivia Mensah. I can tell, and we're lucky for it. And I mean, I think that I can only imagine what was going through your mind when to some degree, obviously, there's still a long way to go. But society began to catch up with you guys with, again, as Dick Wolf alluded to in that comment I mentioned earlier, me too. Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, all these crazy, horrible things that have come to light where people suddenly felt empowered enough to bring to talk about these things, which had been stigmatized. I don't know that that, I mean, you can never point exactly to X plus Y equals Z in these kinds of situations, but I feel like you guys soften the ground for something like that.

43:09Mariska Hargitay:Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. You know, and I think about that, and I know what we did. I know, I understand the cultural impact that SVU's had, and I think about all the advocates that were doing this work for the last, you know, 50, 100 years, and what they were, and what, how hard they had to work uphill, and what they had to overcome, and so I'm so grateful to them, and I'm so grateful to the show, but mostly I'm so grateful to all the survivors who have shared their stories. Well, yeah, and... APPLAUSE It's interesting because we obviously, we, the audience, learned more about Olivia, and I'm sure you, as the actress being, you know, given the ideas of writers for the character and giving your own input, But, you know, we've learned a lot more about Olivia over the course of the run.

44:12First, I think pretty early on, we know that we learned that she is herself the product of a rape, right? We later learn, I guess it's in season nine, that she goes undercover at a women's prison to try to find out, to investigate an officer, a male officer who's been accused of sexually abusing a women's prisoner there, and she herself is sexually assaulted in the course of that, you know, goes on and on with the character. And it's even, you know, I don't know how much, you know, you want to get into this, but I feel like you yourself at one point a couple of years ago even talked about how this kind of thing has...

45:04Even Olivia Benson and the woman who plays her, you're not immune from having been mistreated in such a way at one point in your life, right? So it's just really powerful. Now, the thing with a network TV show is that to some degree the audience doesn't want the character.

45:26Mariska Hargitay:I feel like I need to respond to that in some way. Well, you don't have to. No, no, but I want to know. Tell me about the question. All of that is true. And I think on a very deep, innate level, I think that's why I fell in love with the character so deeply when I first read the script. because Olivia came from rape. She's dealt with so much shame trying to right the wrong. So many times that's our life's work, is to right the wrong and to search for identity. Who am I? How did I get here? Why am I here? and for a person to come from such violence,

46:22Mariska Hargitay:so complex, to figure out why you're here and to make your life matter. And that's deep. And so I think that's what Olivia is trying to make her life matter, that she came into this world in such a rough way. And she didn't think that she could be here and really struggled with her own question of identity. Am I violent? My father was violent. What am I? Who am I?

47:07Mariska Hargitay:And that takes a lot of work. To mind that, a lot of empathy, a lot of compassion. So nobody understands survivors better than she does, and that's why she believes them, and that's why it's made it her life's work. Yeah.

47:38Thank you.

47:43Mariska Hargitay:Should I drop the mic and leave? Because it's either that or I start crying. We're doing like group therapy, group cry. I didn't mean to. Thank you. Send me a gift after. Go ahead. I love peonies. Go ahead. Okay. So one of the things about network TV, I think it's correct to say, accurate to say, is that the audience falls, they spend a lot of time with the character. I mean, you were doing, has the number of episodes been the same all along? Or how high did it get? Well, put it this way. Yeah. They just asked me to direct the 600th. Oh, my God. That's awesome. Which is episode six next year. Amazing.

48:34Well, that's awesome. It's crazy.

48:36Mariska Hargitay:Even I can't download it. Even I go, wait, what? No, it's insane. But also, I mean, per season. No, it's nuts. You could put on, and all respect to people who are working in cable and streaming, but they're doing like six or eight episodes a season. Child's play. Right? Scott, it's child's play. I can't imagine. I mean, people go, how many episodes do you do? They go eight and ten, and I go like this. Sweetheart. Yeah, get out of here. Don't talk to me. You don't know what endurance is. Run a marathon, then call me. Yeah. No, but it's child's play. I said it. I'll say it again. It's child's play.

49:15And you have to be engaging without being able to say or show anything you want. You have network standards that you have to basically meet the censorship. It's been 22 episodes for 27 years. That's crazy.

49:35Mariska Hargitay:I think this year we did 21. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're slacking. I got one off. I mean, it's incredible. But I think one of the things is that because viewers spend so much time with the characters, they kind of don't want them to change very much, right? They love them the way they are. And yet, for the actor or actress, I'm sure for it to remain interesting and engaging, you do want to have things evolving. So has that been something that, how is that reconciled? And we should note that you in 2014, I believe, began directing episodes on the show. 2016 became an executive producer of it. So you are very central to anything that's decided about the show.

50:23So I wonder, is that a balancing act? Are you consciously, you know, I mean, even something like with Benson and Stabler, will they or won't they get together? Something like that so much, right? I never heard that. No, no, no. But I mean like that is a huge there as a decision with huge Implications you guys right and you're I imagine At the center of all of those right to you. What's that like?

50:50Mariska Hargitay:It's a group decision That there was like 15 questions in there. I'm gonna start I'm gonna go back to you said about The character evolving So yes, you want to keep the character the same but I mean We've watched Olivia Benson grow from this junior detective, right, into this fearless, lioness, boss lady, superhero. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm teasing. But the point is that, you know, Olivia getting those promotions, stepping into leadership instead of being on the team. it's very different to be at the same level and then all of a sudden become boss lady. There's many dynamics. It's very complicated, especially for women.

51:47And it's been beautiful because there's been kind of a parallel growth with my character, Olivia Benson, and Mariska. and we had each other to go through this together. But becoming a leader, finding the equilibrium in that,

52:13Mariska Hargitay:becoming a mother on the show, and having to manage my people, my squad, when we used to be even and then all of a sudden you're the boss. It was very difficult. And so there were so many beautiful changes and ways that I needed to stretch and grow on the show. And that's what I've loved about the writing. It's why I'm still there. Even this season, I was saying I just watched the finale of episode 27 and it was one of the episodes that I was most proud of and because I got to do all this new stuff and I think I am a different actor after my mom Jane that's just a fact absolutely well if you'll tolerate about three more about SVU and then we're going to close with a whole uh focus on my mom okay I have a heart out at 11 p.m yeah I hope you guys are good.

53:22Mariska Hargitay:All right. So just because for the first 12 seasons, it was Benson and Stabler, right? There were those questions of, you know, does it make sense to which direction to take this in? It seems like Dick Wolf's position, I've seen him reference Moonlighting, that once they did it, it was nowhere to go. Nowhere to go. However, I have a quote here from one Marisha Carter saying, quote, to be honest with you, Chris and I thought it should go one way, and the powers that be didn't. So it got changed at the last minute, that near kiss, we're talking, I believe, season four, or later? The kiss? Well, there were a couple of near kiss that weren't there.

54:05Mariska Hargitay:No, no, no, that was... Wasn't that after he left and he came back? Well, but there weren't earlier... I don't remember the earlier ones. I love that these guys all know. Not earlier? Okay, well, the point is... I love this so much. Okay, so the point, though, is it seems like... No, but here's what happened. I don't remember the early ones. Watch me just dismiss that. But what happened was there was a later episode

54:37Mariska Hargitay:where we had gone through this whole arc of things should happen. We want to be together, and he left me, and then he came back, and then he's like, I have feelings for you. and all that, and then it was just too complicated. And what I think we felt was that this moment was earned, that this moment, this thing could happen for a second, and then, and so that's how we shot it. Don't you wish you were there for that? Oh, you did shoot it. Yeah, we shot it a couple different ways. Okay. And then they had the choice in editing. And they... Sounds like you disagreed. We did. Yeah. We disagreed. Yeah.

55:23Mariska Hargitay:We disagreed because we thought that it was earned and the way it was dealt with was really complex and very beautiful and very human. And it just showed the complexity of the relationship and all the different ways that they're connected. Because I always described it like brother, sister, best friends, mother, son, father, daughter, protector. They're connected in so many ways. It's complicated.

56:02But it can't be right now. Okay, so.

56:08Mariska Hargitay:I am so playing with you. I have no idea what's going to happen. Well, no, no, no. So this leads into the - You guys, no matter what I want, Dick Wolf can totally just say no. This leads into the next one. I believe, where were you yesterday? With whom were you hanging out yesterday? We had dinner last night. Okay, all right. So - We love each other. No, I know, I know. And so his Law & Order spinoff has just come to an end. Yes. Is there a possibility that he could come back to SVU? Chris has his own show now. I mean, that's not answering the question. Is there a possibility? Holding me to the mat.

56:55Mariska Hargitay:You mean for - At some point. At some point? To come back to SVU. I mean, anything's possible. Okay, well, that's good. That's good. All right. Yes, the answer to that is he and I are not, it's not done. It's not done. It's not done done. Have you ever. See what I did there? Have, oh, done done. Took me too long, took me too long. Have you ever, for any reason, maybe you just, you know, got restless or you got an interesting offer that conflicted. Have you ever, at any time, have you ever considered leaving? Yes. Recently? Do you want to hear the funniest story? Please. So I'm friends with Julianne Margulis.

57:43Mariska Hargitay:I think it was year 17. And I go, Julianne, I think I need to leave SVU. Because who had just left? My favorite, Jon Stewart. Oh, yeah. Jon Stewart left season 17. And I was like, I think I need to be like Jon Stewart and leave season 17. Maybe the party's over. And I said, Julia, I think I need to leave SPU or else I'll be a one-trick pony. And she said, I think that ship sailed.

58:19Mariska Hargitay:We laughed so hard. How great is that line? That's great. And I was like, I'm a one-trick pony. And she was like. It was just so... It was the funniest, most beautiful, hilarious moment, especially with our history. That was before she saw my mom, Jane, which is one question away, but the last one of this topic. Anyway, there was a moment when I started thinking, I know that I have so much more in me. There's so much more that I want to do. And because my shooting schedule is so vigorous, and it is a marathon and I shoot 10 months a year and I shoot very long hours and I have three children and a husband and a foundation and a lot of stuff going on that I went I don't know if this is sustainable and then you know I love the show so much I love what I do I love the platform I have.

59:21Mariska Hargitay:I love the voice that I get to put in the world. I love what the show means to people. I love acting. I'm so privileged to do it every day that I was like, I can't leave. It was just, you know, you have to think it through in your head. And then my, the truth is, is that I worked it out with the producers and I said we have to figure out a way that this is sustainable for me because I love it and I want to give it 500 % and I'm just one person and they did you know they have figured out my schedule and it's um there it's miraculous what they do and it makes it sustainable for me I made my movie I made I am evidence I've made all these other things and as long as I can do that as long as I can fulfill that creativity and someday do my buddy comedy with Melissa McCarthy.

1:00:17Mariska Hargitay:That's all I want to do in life. That would be great. As long as I can do that, then I don't know when I'll leave. Yeah, that's good news. He's like, that's great. No, it is. It really is. Go ahead. Go ahead. I'm going to start becoming a singer. Go ahead. Okay, so Dick Wolf said, quote, when it comes to broadcast television, look, we are very comfortable and taken very good care of. We're fed and watered and taken outside regularly. But the reality is broadcast television is in hospice. There are some very healthy people there who have a very substantial lifespan. And I feel we are in that category of shows that will get to the end of broadcast in one sense or another.

1:00:58But it's all going to be streaming at some point. I think we will be here as long as broadcast is viable. I told Mariska I would get her a very comfortable wheelchair, close quote. So do you look at, you know, obviously you guys are doing great work and people are loving it, but as you look at the direction that TV is going and technologically and all of that, just sort of what's your outlook about that?

1:01:23Mariska Hargitay:I think he's right. And I, you know, television is changing. The landscape is changing. Again, another reason I feel incredibly grateful to have this job that is so deeply meaningful to me. And we will adjust. We will adjust. It's a very big question. Yeah, it is. Too much to get into before we get to the meeting. Here we are. Here we are. We have arrived. You visited with the president of your mom's fan club. I think it's Saban Gray. Is that the way you pronounce it? Years ago. Can you connect the dots from that moment to a conversation you had with the historian Ron Chernow, to you having some time for the first time in decades during lockdown of COVID, just in terms of setting the scene for how we got this film by Mom Jane?

1:02:21Mariska Hargitay:How many people here have seen the movie? Awesome. That's a pretty heavy percentage. So for those who haven't seen it, it's going to be a bit of a spoiler alert. But when I was 25, I went over to the head of the Jane Mansell fan club, and we were talking, and his house was a bit of a museum to my mom. a lot of her clothes, her posters, life size cutouts, just a lot of everything, Jane Mansfield, some jewelry. He was a collector. And so he said to me, do you want to see a picture of Nelson? And, you know, every cell, especially kids, like when something is up and somebody says a name, we know. Something bad happens, we just know.

1:03:29Mariska Hargitay:So he said that name, and I just knew that my life was going to change. And he showed me a picture of a man in a book that was written about my mom that I had never read. And he showed me a picture of a man that looked exactly like me and told me that that was my biological father.

1:03:56Mariska Hargitay:and when I say it undid me,

1:04:02Mariska Hargitay:I, like, you know, as I say, you know, it's like my spine collapsed, my infrastructure collapsed, and I didn't know how I was ever going to function again or how I was going to go on or how to put myself back together. And so I confronted my dad. All this is in the film. And lived with this secret for till now, till this movie. And when I started in during the pandemic is when I started having the time and space to sit with things that people had sent me. letters about my mom, you know, shared stories about her that I got to really sit and take in all these beautiful moments, fragments of her, memories, moments of her.

1:05:02Mariska Hargitay:And it was the first time I could actually process it. And it was during the pandemic that I decided I wanted to take this journey and go on and make a movie about her. And I am and was and will always be a huge fan of Hamilton. I saw the play 27 times. And some might say obsessed with it. But I went so often that when I would go to the theater, they would just pull up a chair for me. It could be packed and they would literally pull up a chair. And I'd be like, they're like, she's here. And so I became friends with Ron Chernow, who wrote the book on Hamilton, who's just this brilliant, brilliant biographer.

1:05:51And he and I became friends.

1:05:53Mariska Hargitay:And then, you know, he had said, you need to make this movie. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know who I would interview. Everyone's dead. And he's only written books on like Washington, Hamilton, like all the dead presidents and he was looked at me and goes I can help you with that and it was the funniest moment and I didn't even realize I was saying I mean I was like everyone's dead how are you going to know what happened and so it was Ron too that just made me realize it was possible and um and it were you know little sources of support along the way and then I talked to my siblings and asked them for their blessing to make the film.

1:06:39Mariska Hargitay:And they were very hesitant and reticent at first. And then they said, I trust you. We'll go on the ride with you. And it was so extraordinary because I really do think in a family, each child, each person in a family views the same family through a very different lens. and so the only way to tell a comprehensive, cohesive, honest, truthful, raw, authentic story is to have all those lenses and I knew I didn't want to make it without them and so that was the beginning of this incredible journey. Which blends, first of all as you say, I don't know how you squeeze this in because between the show the foundation all the different things that you we've talked about already but you go and interview nelson um your siblings who are spread out a bit right and and and also my first interview for the film the first day of shooting was nelson dive right into the deep end how about that right it first day of filming you're also having to do we're part of the i think uh appeal of the doc and there's a lot of different things but it's watching it's not just it's watching you learn things and there's among for and also having to confront some tough conversations or have them like the former publicist of your mother who was the one that initially circulated this uh gossip that was I think your question to him is like did you think it was your place to do that um so I wonder if you can talk about just do you think it was your story to tell that's what it was yes and so we you do these interviews you're going through we watch you going to a storage locker that I think wasn't looked at for 50 years you you find something that matches we'll just say that goes nicely with your own golden globe award like there's these there's these this whole process of discovery that we're watching so i'd love to hear about for a first film to go going on that journey and also finding and again learning uh stuff through archival you have unbelievable archival footage in here for instance and I don't know how many of much of this you'd seen before Jack Parr being a pig towards your mom uh you don't know how many emails that I get from friends and people that seen the film their the the anger at that man how incredibly horrible disrespectful and cruel and how women were treated and how it was accepted on television.

1:09:47Mariska Hargitay:That was one of the most powerful, I think, moments in the film. Well, you just have such great archival in there along with the interviews. And, you know, as a first-time filmmaker, I guess, what were the parts that you enjoyed the most and maybe found less enjoyable? Yeah. So the whole journey was so extraordinary for me. And I really had to shore myself up and make sure that I was safe and supported and had built what I call internal scaffolding or architecture inside that I could handle this subject matter because I knew it was going to be a bumpy ride. but you know through making I am evidence there's so much it's such an extraordinary journey because you know this is the archaeological dig I did not know what I was going to find I set out a movie to get to know my mother and to find out why the choices that were made were made.

1:11:00And I really approached it with like a disciplined curiosity because,

1:11:12Mariska Hargitay:and it turns out, if you see the film, that so much of what I thought I was wrong, and there was so much healing that came out of it because I actually was curious and got to understand the other side of it. Getting to know one of the things I talk about in the film, it was very difficult for me as a child to hear my mother's voice, that this high-pitched, you know, sex symbol voice was so painful and embarrassing and stressful, but also painful because I just, as a child, you just want your mom, you just want authenticity, and you want to feel safe, and I knew that there was this public voice, but I got to see the private voice.

1:11:56Mariska Hargitay:I saw this woman in her public voice, in her career that she architected by herself at 21, and then got to hear her voice with her kids, and all these moments where she dropped down, I went, there you are, there you are, and so the archival provided so much healing. It was such a gorgeous excavation and something, as I said to Ron Schernell, something I never thought I could do. And my editor, my brilliant editor, J.D. Marlow, when we talk about how we built the film, so much of it was in his listening to me interact with the archival because it was like a marriage. All of a sudden, this person who's extraordinarily talented, I'm blown away by the editing in the film so much and I just want to shout his name from the rooftops, and he'd never done anything like this, by the way, but that he and I jumped into the deepest part of my soul, the deepest part, my most private thoughts, my most tender spots of trying to, of my longing for my mother, of mourning for my mother, of being confused by my mother, of being, having so many complex feelings, this very complex relationship with her.

1:13:32Mariska Hargitay:And we got to navigate through all that together. So, So, you know, I'd never seen the footage of her with the soldiers and her advocacy and her heart and just private moments of her at home and all the photos that I'd never seen of her. and I got to paint this 3D picture of this extraordinary, layered, deeply complex artist, musician, that had been locked in a box and placed in a box and they held the lid down. And it's so horrible and it's so cruel and some of the things I saw, you're just like, I cannot believe how women were treated and what was acceptable on television. And the fact that when Jack Parr humiliated her when she's playing the violin, they planned that joke.

1:14:40Mariska Hargitay:A bunch of guys sat in a room going, okay, so what's the joke here? And they mocked her. They mocked her as she played the violin that they can't play. And it's so cruel, but it was intentional. It's disgusting. But you're fighting back in your career as on TV. Yeah. It's kind of, again, kind of a nice full circle. It was an extraordinary process, and there was so much healing and love and so many aha moments and so much bonding with my siblings and so much light being shed and all the other people that that we I interviewed that and didn't make it into the film I interviewed many people I interviewed Gloria Steinem I interviewed so many incredible people but as you know with making a documentary it's a puzzle right and unfortunately you can't put everything in and I it was just one of the greatest most cathartic healing experiences of my life and also to as a filmmaker to enter into a new arena that I was terrified of well in one minute you're going to be honored here for this great film which I'll note was not a bad for a first first feature premiered at can and that was the world premiere U.S.

1:16:07Premier at Tribeca, screened in New York at Carnegie Hall where she had dreamed of performing. I mean, there's just so much we could go on about. But with our last minute before the presentation of the honor to Mariska, here we go. Just a rapid fire.

1:16:22Mariska Hargitay:Can I say one more thing? Please. I just want to shout out my amazing executive producer, Lauren Bromley, who's here with me tonight. Congratulations. And to my producing partner, amazing Trish Adlesic, who produced the movie with me, who is just a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful partner. You all should be very proud. That's great. Okay, just rapid fire, first thing that comes to mind. If you come upon an old episode of SVU on TV, what goes through your mind? Why can't I remember this? What is your Pavlovian reaction to hearing the dun-dun? Thank you, Jesus. How do you feel when you see that kind of famous photo of Sophia Loren and your mom?

1:17:10The side eye.

1:17:11Mariska Hargitay:Well, that's the thing. That's changed as well, right? I used to be really embarrassed about it. And now I go, you go girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Girl. Have you met Taylor Swift's cat Olivia Benson? Yes, I have.

1:17:30we have photos together live in me how do you think your life would have unfolded if you had not gotten SVU I would have become a shrink really yeah maybe a comedian well you know what you could do both And I guess lastly, from me, if there was one thing, and I hope it's not too personal a question, but if there's one thing... Oh, now he's not going to ask personal questions?

1:18:09Mariska Hargitay:Oh, okay. What would your mom think of this documentary you've made? I think she would be so proud of me. and so grateful to be introduced to the world for the amazing complex woman and beautiful artist that she was. I don't think my mom got to make the kind of movies and the kind of art that she wanted to make, and we didn't have the opportunity to make a movie together, and yet we made one together.

1:19:01Well, thank you so much. Marish, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

1:19:22Thanks for listening to Awards Chatter. We really appreciate it and would really appreciate you taking just a minute more to subscribe to the podcast and to leave us a rating and review on your podcast app. And to follow us on Twitter and Instagram, where our handle is at Awards Chatter. On those platforms, we announce upcoming guests and provide details about special live recordings of the podcast that you can attend. Until next time, thanks again for tuning in.