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Podcast Episode Summary: Broken Record - Spellling
Episode Overview Podcast Title: Broken Record Hosts: Rick Rubin, Malcolm Gladwell, Bruce Headlam, Justin Richmond Episode Title: Spellling Artist Featured: Chrystia Cabral (known as Spellling) Release Date: [Insert Date]
Description In this episode, artist Spellling (Chrystia Cabral) discusses her music journey and the evolution of her latest album, *Portrait of My Heart*. The episode delves into her transition from teaching to music, her artistic inspirations, and the intentionality behind her sound.
Key Topics Discussed
- Artistic Evolution
- Previous Work: Spellling's earlier album, *The Turning Wheel*, received critical acclaim, including a perfect rating from Anthony Fantano.
- Current Work: Her newest album, *Portrait of My Heart*, showcases a bolder blend of avant-garde, pop, and rock with elements of mysticism and theatricality.
- Personal Growth: Spellling reflects on her personal and artistic development, describing a sense of personal renaissance and identity questioning as she embraces her art more fully.
- Intentionality in Music
- Sonic Universe: Spellling emphasizes that every detail in her music is intentional, channeling her experiences and emotions into her work.
- Themes of Vulnerability: The new album features more intimate and personal themes, contrasting with the cosmic love themes of her previous work.
- Transition from Teaching to Touring
- Life Changes: Spellling discusses her transition from a teaching career to being a touring musician, reflecting on the insecurities and identity crises that come with such a change.
- Art as Connection: Music serves as a bridge for Spellling, connecting her to friends and family, and facilitating expression that often escapes verbal communication.
- Creative Process
- Songwriting Approach: Many songs begin from a place of introspection, often built around personal experiences.
- Use of Instruments: The conversation highlights a shift towards guitar-centric sounds in her new music, inspired by her early influences from alt-rock and grunge.
- Collaboration with Other Artists
- Working with Producers: Spellling shares her experience working with producer Rob Bisel, which helped her gain confidence in her own production skills while learning to collaborate effectively.
- Future Collaborations: She hints at upcoming projects and collaborations, including remixes of her album tracks.
- Themes of Time and Existence
- Coping with Mortality: Spellling reflects on themes of running out of time, both in her music and personal life, tying it to her friend’s death which served as a significant influence on her songwriting.
- Existential Questions: The discussion touches on the struggles and joys of being an artist, such as the balance of self-absorption required for creation versus the desire for connection with others.
Key Takeaways
- Growth and Introspection: Spellling uses music to explore personal growth and navigate her identity as an artist.
- Intentionality in Art: The importance of intentionality in her sound and themes is a recurring motif in her creative process.
- Navigating Change: The challenges of transitioning from teaching to music highlight the vulnerabilities of pursuing artistic dreams.
- Connection through Music: The power of music to connect individuals and convey emotions beyond words is central to Spellling’s experience.
Conclusion The episode provides a deep and introspective look at Spellling's artistic journey, her evolving sound, and the profound connection she attributes to her craft. It highlights the complexities of being an artist, the importance of collaboration, and the ongoing search for identity and purpose.
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For more insights and to hear some of Spellling's music, check out the [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/12lXo2COhRDBJWZ1dSt1o0?si=5f9fa80be6af49d4&nd=1&dlsi=8ce8979c1ee34872).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:06Pushkin.
0:10I'm excited today to share a conversation with my friend Tia Cabral, also known as Spelling. I've known Spelling since before she started making music a bit over a decade ago. And I'll never forget when I first heard some of the songs that became her sophomore album, The Turning Wheel. It blew me away. For this friend who I've known for so long to just be casually demoing these beautiful songs with such a gorgeous voice, I was astonished. Mind you, that album got a rare Perfect 10 rating from Anthony Fantano. Her latest album, Portrait of My Heart, sees Spelling taking yet another leap, pushing her avant-garde pop and even rock sensibilities to another level adding new dimensions to the mysticism and drama imbued in her music.
0:52Today Spelling opens up about her journey from teaching to touring what it means to build a sonic universe where every detail is intentional and the early days of her musical journey when she was just getting started. This is Broken Record. Real musicians, real conversations.
1:13This is an iHeart Podcast.
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2:24Whether you're a music journalist, passionate fan, or someone who loves understanding creative processes, Claude matches your curiosity about what really drives great artists. Try Claude for free at claw.ai slash broken record. Lexus is a company that believes in the importance of setting a standard, which I can appreciate as someone who holds themselves to lofty, if not ridiculous standards, especially with the car I drive. The standard Lexus has set for themselves is to experience amazing. Lexus measures success by the feeling and emotions evoked in a driver, like exhilaration and joy. Amazing can only be achieved by knowing people on a deeper level.
3:01The standard of amazing results in a feeling in drivers that their car was built in anticipation of them. Machines that make you feel more human. Because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing. Experience amazing at your Lexus dealer. Here's my conversation with Spelling. We should talk about the new album because there's a lot more guitar. And then as the album progresses, there gets to be even more guitar. yeah um it's really cool but it was but it did it was shocking but maybe before we get to talking about the guitar yeah just what what was the the genesis of of your new album the genesis i mean it's the same kind of approach i always take which is i'm just channeling my mood and i felt as though what i noticed after putting out the turning wheel and touring a little bit and And just kind of that felt like this turning point in my life where this is what I'm doing with my life kind of a thing.
4:01Whereas before I was just experimenting a lot and I didn't imagine my day-to-day being oriented around making music or performing music really until post-turning wheel. And there's a lot of variables to that. I think I'm in my 30s. I didn't really actually activate this craft until I was in my mid-20s. So I felt like I'd already gone through this evolution in my life where I felt like I know who I am. I have this sense of self and confidence that's not rooted in being a musician. So going through that, putting out the album, getting an amazing amount of support for it, and growing my audience and all that.
4:52And I just was like, whoa, I feel like I'm having this second sort of adolescence in my life where I'm like, once again, being shaken up, like having an identity crisis almost. Like, who am I now? And how does this change my life path and all of those things? And just insecurities coming up, I just never thought I'd have to encounter again. Like, I already went through this as a teenager, just being like, what does it mean to like, My image, my relationships, and my romantic connections, my friendships, all of that started to kind of get reoriented around now pursuing this thing full force and full heartedly.
5:34And so Portrait of My Heart, a lot of those songs are just stepping back into that sort of adolescent space of like, oh man, just like a restlessness, sort of angst. A lot of grasping and questioning at those sort of things that I just already thought I had figured out. Would you say the songs to you are more questioning and reaching than your last record? Just on a different scale. And I think prior to this, I had a lot of comfort in my home space. And I had my spiritual practices and routines. I meditate. I spend time in nature. And like I was channeling from there, like my interests and like, you know, occult arts and magic and spirituality and cosmology, like all of that stuff.
6:27Like I spent a lot of time reading and researching and just writing. And so I would draw from that. And I think things were, you know, there's songs on Turning Wheel that are very much about like love and romance and connection, but kind of more pointed in this like cosmic scale. love as in like universal love or, you know, like love as in cosmic love and that kind of analogy. But with Portrait of My Heart, it's just, it's more one-to-one. It's more just like Tia and real life situations and like personal affairs and my own matters of the heart. So yeah, it's a big shift. And now, now that I'm talking about it, it's like, oh yeah, this is about to come out and this is like my life and it's it's a little weird it's it's like way more vulnerable wow it's interesting because i i i would have thought the opposite not that i mean both seem very sincere but i would have thought that that turning wheel was more directly to do with your everyday life and sort of more um maybe more actually a portrait of your heart than this one but i guess that's why and i guess that's why you titled this one it's all it's all interlaced too You know, like, it's just kind of what I was describing as being on a different scale.
7:47But yeah, they're both, I think the through line is intimacy. I think that's a big theme on all the things that I make is like intimacy with the self and with relationship or connection to spirit. And those kinds of things are carrying through since Pantheon of Me and into Portrait of My Heart as well. Since you talked about having different practices, whether it's meditation or just kind of communing with nature, is music another version of that for you? Yeah, absolutely. It kind of feels like for me, it was the big piece of like, oh, I found where I can really direct my purpose and feel like I can direct my particular gifts and talents in the right way.
8:39And so music is that for me. And that's kind of like my big take on spirituality in general is just what can you do to, you know, elevate your like best abilities and, you know, make an impact. I struggle with connecting to people even though I want to. And I think that music kind of always helps me to bridge that. It's the thing that connects me to all my relationships and friendships, even my family. How does that play out in your life? How does that look in your life? I mean, it's really simple just sending songs back and forth with friends. It feels like I can know you so well just by that.
9:25And my dad and I, our relationship has really been kind of glued together through music. And he'll send me YouTube videos back and forth throughout the week. That's kind of like how we mostly communicate is like through songs. And I don't know, I think like knowing what someone loves or what speaks to them is so special. And it like just access to something you couldn't really describe really with words ever. And that's how I feel about just like speaking in general too. I have such a hard time saying what I mean and how I feel, but I can do it with music. When I first met you, you were a writer, is how in my mind.
10:06Yeah. So when it comes to writing, though, you're able to organize your thoughts and sort of clearly get at what you're trying to say. Better than conversation, for sure. But even then, it's not as immediate. Like music just is like something that's just so immediate and it doesn't need like a translation for me. Like I just feel like I can just act as a conduit. And yeah, I started off with writing. You know, you saw me doing poetry workshops and stuff like that. And that was what really launched me into making music from there was like, oh, poetry is this other like vein of music where you can say a lot.
10:48with just a few things and have all these multiple meanings and just a couple words. And so I was playing around with that and then got a loop pedal. You were good too, by the way. That's all right. Don't write. You were good. That's all right. You were a good writer. I think I cringe thinking about that chapter of my life. We don't need people digging into that. But that was the first time I ever met you. Do you remember meeting? Yeah. at a workshop was that a performance? no it was not at a workshop we were on like telegraph oh no and and you were I think just leaving a workshop and I had walked from like downtown home on foot he was on foot I was hoofing it just like I was like okay a bus I was like waiting for a bus it was taking forever I was like well I'm gonna start walking and a bus will eventually I don't know how long why I walked forever and then finally a bus came and you came up a couple different other people yeah A couple other poets.
11:48A couple other poets. Telegraph Avenue poets. Very casual. A couple other poets materialized. And we rode the bus together. And I remember that was the first time we were like, yeah, we just came from this. You were like, we were so over there at this poetry. Yeah. Oh, man. What a time. Yeah. It really felt like serendipitous. The friends I made along that journey, like being at UC Berkeley. And yeah, really just like romanticizing, walking around Telegraph Avenue, just like my little journal. Yeah. But never did, you know, it's funny. Like you say, you feel now almost like you're reaching a second adolescence.
12:32It's like, I can relate because I feel younger in a way than I ever did. Because back then, I felt like old. I felt like, or like I was like, like, I was late. You do have a timeless quality to you. I feel like you're like, you could jump back and forth. Thank you. I'll accept that. I'd never considered that for myself, but maybe that's the truth. But like that, I felt like I was like running out of time. Like, I don't know how to explain that, but I felt like, and I remember when you picked up, but then you were about to say you started picking up some lute pedals. I remember you getting music equipment and I remember like looking at you and just being like, aren't we too old for this?
13:10Yeah. I remember this conversation. I feel like we were talking about, I was like, I think I'm going to start doing this. Yeah, you're like, I'm about to learn. You got like a key. You were so excited. You got a keyboard. And like all this stuff. I'm like, like, and I think, you know, somewhere I think, you know, I probably would have loved to have done the same thing. I just look at you and be like. You're trying to take me down. Aren't we? Aren't we? Aren't we a little bit too old? I was trying to bring you down with me. I'm like, I think we're like too old for this shit. Like, what are you doing?
13:38You're on eBay afterwards. Like, let me see if I can, what I can, yeah. But it blew me away because I guess you started doing that. And then pretty quickly, the music you were making was like, it was clearly incredible. I mean, I'm glad that it was quick because I didn't have time to wait, you know? Like, if it wasn't sorted out within the next few years, then what? No, I mean, I think I've always had the mentality of feeling like a late bloomer, feeling like my pace is like a little bit behind everybody else. So good thing I wasn't in that frame of mind. I'm glad you were too. I was like, this is happening and I'm doing it.
14:15And yeah, there wasn't a lot of questioning right at that point in my life. Now there is. Now there's a lot more of like, what's to come and what's next? And I have to actively work to cast those thoughts away. Well, yeah, I'm curious. Why do you feel like you're, you feel like younger than you have previously? You feel like it's about sort of having some security that. That's a good question. I don't know. I think it's something to do with, I don't know, that feeling of running out of time has gone away. Like, I feel like I have. Coasting. I don't know. No, I don't know about coasting as much as.
14:58I hope I'm not. Maybe I hope not, though. So no, but I just feel like I have more time than ever. So I have like the complete opposite feeling. Whereas then I felt like there was no time and I was late. And now I'm like, oh, there's nothing but time. Trying to catch that bus. Yeah, I just want to catch that bus. Exactly. But now, yeah, I guess maybe now I'm on the bus. I'm like, yo, there's nothing but time. And so it's just a feeling. I don't know if it's even like a real thing. I think that's a real thing that can manifest physically, though. I feel like you can pause or slow down time depending on your perspective and mentality.
15:40It stretches and it contracts and it condenses depending on all of those things. But you're time traveling different than I am and everybody else. It's an interesting sensation. I feel like time is just rapidly going by so fast. I feel like I'm constantly running out of time right now. We have totally switched positions. So what changed for you? Because it's like, I don't know. I've never, I hesitate to say that you've clearly hit your stride. Because I've always thought of you as a person who was top tier. Whatever you were doing, I always feel like you were doing it well. So I feel like you've kind of always been in your stride.
16:21So I don't mean it that way. I'm competitive. You got to at least give that impression, even if I'm not. I believe you are secretly competitive. But no, but you've clearly carved out a really nice space for yourself. So why do you feel like now you're feeling... I mean, it's more of a sentimentality thing. I don't want it to go away. I don't want the... I want it to last longer. So maybe it's actively thinking about that that can speed up things. I think there's this resistance is an interesting principle where it's like, yeah, the more you are resistant to something, the more it pushes back against you.
17:05So I think me being like, I want to dwell in this moment for as long as I can and kind of almost feeling like a morning that this time is going to not last forever, that makes it go by quicker. so it's just like you gotta practice i try to remind myself to practice like more presence and you know everything runs its course in certain ways and who knows like i mean this this is a current that i'm in right now but there's so many other creative like potentials for the future and like i didn't see this coming for myself like at that time when we were talking about music i was just like i'm just gonna get some keyboards and mess around i didn't see this as where i would be at all so who knows what's next in 10 years yeah is this feeling where uh like a keep it keep it alive comes from oh yeah a song yeah yeah exactly exactly that track makes me anxious to listen to you i enjoy it but um yeah that's definitely the quality in it is trying to just stay ahead and outpace the maybe responsibilities and you know inevitable endings it's kind of the the vibe on that one do you remember do you remember sitting down to write that i remember that um strangely a lot of times the songs that i end up making are are versions of other songs that people might never make the connection to.
18:41Like, I was listening to, it's like an 80s Marvin Gaye album, and there's the opening of it, the strings on it, are doing something really weird. And I kind of ripped the string line a little bit from this track, and it created this sense of chaos. But in his version, of course, it's super dreamy and romantic and lush. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to kind of borrow this chord change and put it in this context. And it's going to sound super hectic. Was it the sexual healing album? No, it's Dream of a Lifetime. So it's Madness. You know that one? I don't know that one. You should listen to it now.
19:22I'm wondering if you relate it at all. Probably not. Because I didn't hear any Marvin on this. But I mean, that's kind of the cool. That's why that's a really cool approach to making something. because it's like sampling in a way. It's like taking something from something that you really like and it's making it work for you. Yeah, and the song, the lyrics, it's like he's saying, it's called It's Madness. So he's kind of dealing with, I think, similar ideas with it where it's time running out and sort of living in a cyclone in your mind. And he's like, oh, where is my mind? and he's like it's an interesting weird song where it's like super dreamy and beautiful but then the lyrics are kind of dark and yeah well marvin's case it really was running out of time too which is the eerie thing yeah but you know like i wonder like with him you know you could you could go to also like a like a like a guy like tupac obviously too right he's always like rapping about his own death and you and it's like prophetic yeah like was it prophetic or did you make it real you know like so i just wonder like jeff buckley too jeff i've been spending a lot of time listening to grace that was a sort of entry point into like how am i going to shape the sounds on portrait of my heart too and thinking about his like it kind of sounds like sometimes when he's singing he can censor like perceive running out of time and there's that like almost desperate quality to his voice that makes it so good yeah i wonder though like how much of that is is like perceiving truth the reality or or how much that is just like people reading signals wrong or just, you know, like, I don't know.
21:22Yeah, or sabotage, self-sabotage. Self-sabotage, you know, like. Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. It's kind of like, I always reference that like meme of the cartoons on the bus, like one's looking at the window, all happy looking and the other one's like sad. And it's like, it'll say the same thing. Like I just saw it yesterday and it's like, I don't understand David Lynch. and it's like someone looking out the window, looking all happy. And then the sad person's like, I don't understand David Lynch. It's just like, yeah, you know, like I'm running out of time. Like I could be really depressed about that or I'm running out of time.
22:00Like, you know, things are just going to happen and you can like, it can be to your empowerment to see it that way. Sure, I guess. I don't know. You're like, no. I don't know. Next topic. I don't know if I can find the framing of that to be a, I mean, it might be, maybe that's my limited perspective. Time is a construct. That might be my, you know, my hang up. I'm not sure. But I know what that feeling is. And, you know, I just, I so much prefer not to be in that mode. You're right. Because it can be limiting in its own way, you know, like, again, like where you were when you started this music thing is like, certainly you were not in that space and and and that allowed you to you know just be more improvisational like i want to get this keyboard and mess around and then you know you just never know when you're improvising in life like what that can lead to you know and that's a so living more in that space to me even though like you know again you listen to martin And that guy, he's so tortured.
23:11And the music is so beautiful. But I just prefer, it just seems like life is better when you're allowing yourself the leeway to try things and not feel like, I have to do this because I don't have enough time. I got to do this now. I know. I know, I know. And I want, I think going forward, a lot of conversations and like some album interviews I've been doing, the more I talk about the like journey and the origins of this project and where it's headed, I feel so like I have to continue to nourish the things that feed that and fuel that because it's gotten me to this place. And the more I try to play by the book or follow them, the sort of industry standard, it's going to strip away more than it's going to add.
24:08And I don't necessarily know what that will look like yet, but I think it's something that's just actively on my mind and going to start looking for more opportunities to recreate the improvisational space you're describing where it's like I'm not feeling pressured to or obligated to do things a certain way. And with Portrait of My Heart, I had to see it through. It was what was calling to me. And I'm really happy with how it all came together. But there is this, I can feel my intuition being like, what's next is stripping back again and kind of going back into like a solo approach and getting messier with my stuff.
24:57because I've gained a lot of technical skill and like, you know, spent that, put the work in on like, oh, I know how to make the things I want and they can somewhat match what ideas I have. I didn't have that when I was working on Pantheon. I was just like, Fruit Loop Studio, free edition, like Audacity, just like record. I don't know how to fix that. So it's just going to be that way. And then, you know, like I didn't know what I was doing at all. But you didn't know when, But it's not true. You managed to make something that felt right to you. At least I think it felt right to other people. I mean, that's a great project.
25:36But you've definitely gained the ability to maybe be more precise. Yeah, maybe be more precise and just know more how to do things more efficiently. Because I spent a little, it took a long time to make things that I could do a lot quicker now. But yeah, I look forward to that. I want to just, I have another set of songs that I was working on, kind of alongside Portrait of My Heart, and decided to just go with the, like, funnel those into the, like, a little more pop sensibility album. But then the other stuff is, like, a lot more lo-fi and just more of, like, the witchy spelling origin stuff.
26:26We'll be back with more from Spelling after this break.
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27:37where you can see the sky. Best network based on analysis by Ukla of Speedtest Intelligence Data 1H 2025. The greatest music stories aren't always in the songs themselves. during the late night studio sessions, the chance encounters, and the cultural moments that shaped entire movements. For music lovers who find themselves going down rabbit holes about their favorite artists, Claude, an AI thinking partner, helps you explore those deeper questions. Whether you're wondering about the connections between different scenes, trying to understand what drove a particular creative period, or exploring how social movements influenced sound, Claude works through these complex cultural puzzles with you.
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28:56This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. One of the things I think is universal to nearly everyone is that warm feeling you get when you find someone you feel comfortable sharing parts of your life with that otherwise you might just keep to yourself. Often it's a friend, sometimes it's a loved one, but in those moments, you really take a load off. That's one of the things I've enjoyed most about therapy, that there's someone regularly in my life that I'm able to talk to about things I'd probably keep to myself for longer than I really needed to. And they're clinically trained and licensed to help.
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29:57Our listeners get 10 % off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash broken. That's BetterHelp.com slash broken. A spelling as the name you release stuff under, is that witchy in origin? It's, yeah, somewhat, yeah, sort of in the more of like, it was funny to me as a name. I liked that the word itself kind of made me think of like a creature. And I would like imagine myself as this little like elven creature named spelling. and um but yeah just it was just a reference to words and like words is magic and incantation and i think yeah the early stuff i was making like crayola church it was like a lot of repetition just a lot of like repeating words over and over until it felt like it's turning into some sort of hypnotic state and that's where that comes from in this is there any of that in your mind in the on the new project, in the new album?
Read the full transcript
31:01Like, is that still a part of what you're doing or? Somewhat. I mean, I think I'm always, the biggest things I'm always inspired by are usually like books and literature, poetry. And so those influences are always there, even when I'm describing like, oh, these are like more just like batters of the heart and like situational, like love stories and things like that. It's still very much being drawn from a lot of research and interest and that kind of stuff. And Portrait of My Heart was the first song that kind of opened up the floodgates for what was to come after with the rest of the album. That was the first song you wrote?
31:45That was the first song I wrote, yeah. And I remember the line, like that came to me when I was on the piano. And I remember it sounding kind of like a halftime thing.
32:05Like that. And very like slow. And I was like, this is cool. Like this is giving, I don't know what this is giving, but it's got something. And then I was frustrated with, like, I felt like it needed to be more aggressive. And I felt fresh, like I was like, I don't want to make another like long, slow, dramatic song. Like I want to, I just want to switch it up. So then I started messing around with the drum machine. And when I had that, like, like that, and then I changed the way that the line came through.
32:43And then, yeah, the vibe of that whole track on my mind at the time was like, what's next? What's to come? Like feeling like I'm running out of time, all those things. And like feeling a lot of apprehension and self-doubt as far as like, God, being an artist, you're just constantly thinking about yourself. This kind of sucks. Like, I'm tired of this. Like, I'm tired of hearing my own voice. I'm tired of what I have to do next. And I just feeling like it's so selfish to be so self-absorbed, you know, with, but that's what it takes to make the thing. So, yeah, the song is kind of about that. And just feeling like, you know, you're pursuing your art, pursuing your idea to this extreme where you're starting to, like, lose track of reality, lose track of what's important to you in your life.
33:37and things really just start to fade away and you like live in a delusion and a lot of times like to make the best things you gotta like live in the delusion and so I was fully living in that and the lyrics came through like that like lost shattered in the dark stranger in my head it's like grappling with like the artist self and um creating a kind of like a prison of your own imagination. Yeah. I haven't really thought about it that way, but it's like one of the great ironies of being an artist, I guess, is that you're constantly, I guess it's by nature a bit, it is a bit selfish or maybe there's another way of thinking about it, but that definitely is, you know, part of it.
34:25I mean, it's a beautiful part of it too. And that's, that's the, the song is kind of just questioning all the things. And I think the spiritual portion that comes in is like this feeling or sensation sometimes that I have. It's like my relationship with God and feeling like God is the ultimate artist and like has, you know, placed certain like circumstances or situations for each individual life. and what you push back or what you contribute towards it versus what you don't, how much of that is your responsibility? And almost even being as an artist, are you challenging against your nature and what God intended you to do?
35:07So that's kind of like... So you feel like maybe God was not intending for you to be an artist? Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe that your gifts or abilities could be better placed through other things instead of this like... Was it teaching that was the other thing for you? Teaching was another thing. Yeah. I could see another life path where that was like where I like put my efforts and my gifts towards or I don't know, like being a mother or being like, you know, these other roles or yeah, these other roles in life that like I haven't necessarily chosen or haven't had. happened so that was the the crisis of that song yeah i don't know like choosing yeah i don't know just as like a parent now three times over i don't know i don't think i've ever chosen you were chosen i would think yeah it was that was the other way i was chosen so you know i'm just sure when it's fun we always think about that as a good you know when i talk to other people I don't know if it's so much up to you.
36:10I don't know if it's so much up to any of us. That's true. It's facts. So, you know, but it's interesting. And it's not that I see it that way. It's just that kind of like those curiosities coming up, you know. And yeah, I encountered some like weird poem that was talking about an artist as like a thief or like a sort of like a con artist. like you know like portraying reality in a way that it's not and like taking your money for it you know and it's it's just like a weird funny interesting concept to me right where it's like an artist kind of demands a lot from you and they can and there's this sort of like narcissism involved and it's like their their job is to like create a reality that's not reality and like sell you on it.
37:01That's a very Bay Area interpretation. It's such a Bay Area thing. Of an artist. I'm living down here in LA and it's like, sounds normal to me. Take the money and run. I know. That's why I need to move down here. Yeah. But no, but it's not like, it's not a wrong interpretation, but that certainly can seem true. What other stuff were you reading or watching or listening to around the making of this? I did a lot less of that. I mean, also for Portrait of My Heart, I had seen that movie, What Dreams May Come. And that also inspired. It's with Robin Williams and Cuba getting juniors in it. And he's the angel.
37:45I don't think I ever saw it, but I remember the movie. It's freaky. That also lended into a lot of the imagery in that song. because it's like his wife passes away and he's trying to rescue her from hell. Wow. And he goes on this whole odyssey. And she was a painter in the movie. And so her heaven, I think, is all watercolor painting. And it's really beautiful. She moves through it. And the trees are all rippling with paint and stuff. So I had seen it a long time ago and always was kind of freaked out by it. It's a really intense movie, but it's also so beautiful. And I'd watched it again, and that kind of helped me with that song, Portrait of My Heart, and just kind of like that theme in general of just painting.
38:34Yeah. And yeah, other books like Mount Analog. That's a song based off that, and that's a book that I really enjoyed. I found it at— Wait, it's a book? Mount Analog, yeah. Oh, I didn't know that was a book. Yeah. I loved that title. Yeah, I was just going to call it Analog, but I'm glad I kept the mountain so anyone can look it up and hopefully read it. I found it. There's this bookstore in Silver Lake called Stories. One of the times I was out here, it was up on the shelf for staff picks. And I was like, oh, it's like inspired Alejandro Jodorowsky's Holy Mountain. And so he was inspired by that book to make that movie.
39:17By Mount Analog? Yeah. No way. Wow. Yeah, yeah. And it's beautiful. It's just like an adventure story about a group of mountaineers that try to scale this mythic mountain that's supposed to exist somewhere. but it's like hidden from view and you can only, you know, find it if you're coming with like a pure heart and intentions. And there's like weird mystical concepts in it that I really latched onto. And it tried to infuse in the song and, you know, they're like sailing towards this mountain. And so I'm sort of trying to create that, like, there's like this noise starts and like grows all the way up to the end of the song.
40:04It's supposed to sound like waves. Tried to like set the scene that way. Yeah. Your music can be so dense sometimes in like really cool ways. Like, I don't mean that dense. I mean, maybe lush is the word, but do things tend to start more simply? And then do they come to you sort of like with almost prearranged in a sense of like you kind of know all the different kinds of sounds you want in this thing? I think that's that's more the case. Like I usually have it's more about reeling back than like adding a bunch more. Like that's never really been a big struggle with me as far as like arranging or writing a song.
40:44It's just like some people describe like they can't stop or they keep adding stuff or don't know when to stop. I feel like I always know when to stop. and usually I'm kind of stripping things back. That's kind of more the process. And some more than others, I think the most challenging track was Waterfall, where I played around with so many different versions and tempos, and nothing felt quite right. And we landed somewhere that I'm happy with. That's my favorite song on the album. As long as it's capturing the core in a really authentic way, then I'm happy, and I kind of feel like the ornamentation of things can kind of be interchangeable.
41:22what makes waterfall your favorite song i think because it was such a puzzle to to hack and like figure out that it was just so satisfying once it really clicked because i was kind of like damn am i going to compromise and just kind of put this out even though it doesn't feel 100 right and i really didn't want to do that and then at the last minute it kind of fell together and uh i was in Athens, Georgia, mixing the album with, yeah, like a couple days left. And I still didn't have the lyrics really figured out. I was like, we'll mix this song last and like hopefully something comes together. And I was driving home and it's like the like, that like country south darkness.
42:07That's like, ooh, like it's just, you feel it in your bones kind of a thing. and I was driving and listening to the demo and started to get that shivery feeling where it's like, ooh, I feel kind of scared, but also dangerous right now. And I felt this rush of, I don't know, just a flash of inspiration and helped me figure out the lyrics on that. But it was amazing. There's always a story like that, like last minute, something's like, you had to get to this point to finally be handed that. That's how I feel about that track. So it's a favorite. And also just the lyrics are super special to me. It's about losing somebody.
42:51And I lost a friend of mine, David, who also inspired me to start making music. And so I had him in mind and was thinking about him through this process and kind of being my guiding angel through this whole experience of being an artist now. songs dedicated to him and um thinking about grief as like it's just change as a form of change and yeah yeah what what happened he died tragically and um he was hit by a muni bus and it was like he was only we were all like in our early 20s like 22 at the time this is at the telegraph house that we were all living in so he was one of my roommates and this is like a beautiful flamboyant person um who would just like bust into my room all the time and be like let's go do stuff together so I moved into his room after he had passed like later months later and that's when I started getting music equipment because I was like I feel him I could feel him in the room and And I feel like he would want me to be making stuff.
44:04Wow. Yeah. I wanted to, like, I always sing and, like, make things, but I didn't think my voice was strong. Like, it was something that I didn't push it or try to, like, take it seriously. So, yeah, I was like, this is just another tool for me when I started making music to, like, you know, just kind of like the, like, producer who also makes music sort of thing. where the voice is just being utilized, hopefully, like, as another instrument. But it wasn't something, like, where I came in as, like, I'm a singer, and then, you know, I feel a lot more confident in my voice now. It's grown on me. But, yeah, moments with songs like Alibi or certain songs where I'm just, like, that feels, like, too me.
44:46Like, too me. Too much me in there. It's interesting. It's too much. Like, and this track, like, Analog, where it's, like, I can kind of feel like I'm, like, I'm just a part of the music more. Got it. Part of the tapestry. Yeah, part of the tapestry. And then in Alibi, it's like, I've got to deliver in this other way where it's just a different sensation. It is a pretty straight ahead song. That feels new for you on the album. And I was mentioning earlier, the abundance of guitar also feels new for you. Yeah. How did that come together? Like what, when did you realize you were going to, that was going to be, drive a lot of the sound?
45:29I guess when portrait clicked in the way that it did, I was like, okay, I'm going back in time. I'm going back to this like sort of high school self. What was I listening to then? What were the things that fueled that attitude? and I needed to kind of like get in my Radiohead bag, my like System of a Down and Smashing Pumpkins and all of the like kind of 90s grunge rock stuff. And that just made it sense to me. Like, oh, I'm going to, it's going to be guitar based and that'll be a sort of like touchstone for the first time because I think before then I never, I didn't just mean whatever and let the song demand what instruments to use.
46:18And this time I'm like, I want to have a little bit more of a centerpiece here. So rock palette. So you forced the issue. You're just like, we're going to... Forced the issue. I stood on it. Yeah. Stand on business. Ten toes down. I don't even know who played guitar on that. No, my band. So in my band right now, Wyatt plays guitar. He played all the songs on Portrait. And we had a couple guests on Alibi. Pat from Turnstile also played on it. And Braxton from Zulu. So yeah, but Wyatt held down and helped me arrange and write a lot of the stuff. And then Julio is our bass player. He's a jazz player.
47:01He's like, you know, his style. He's like a music addict. He can't stop playing music. You know, like every day he has a gig. And he always makes the live performances really dynamic. And I'll be like, okay, we have our set list. This is what we're going to do every night, you know, because it feels good to kind of just like lock in and get better at the same thing. And he'll be like, this is boring. We got to do something different every night, you know? So who's on Satisfaction? Is that Wyatt? Yeah. That gets pretty hardcore. Did that come at the end? Or were you like, we're going to, we're for sure just going to, like, did you know from the jump that you were going to...
47:43What that song would end up like? Yeah. Turn that into, like, a Slayer song. I'm trying to remember where that song even, or when I wrote that one. I think it was kind of like having this more, like, wicked synth flair to it at first. I remember making the guitar line that's like, and it kind of had more of a Queen of Wands sort of prog synth rock feeling to it. I started to get real theatrical with all the synth work and stuff, and I'm like, what would it sound like if it was stripped down and just much more brutal and just guitar instead of all this chaotic synth stuff happening? I feel like the guitar was down bad for a while.
48:33The guitar was down bad, yeah. I feel like it could use a renaissance. I like having music. But it was such a wild, that wasn't a flavor I was used to from your songs. Yeah, from Spelling Song. I know. Yeah, I know. I mean, I think about some Pantheon stuff and like I would have the impulse to do kind of what I'm doing on Satisfaction or with like other heavier tracks. But it's like I just didn't have the means to like real fun. I tried to kind of go there and make this like sort of like doom metal guitar, but with the synth. So I would just like emulate what I wanted to sound like on the Juno and let it live like that.
49:18Like I was saying, I feel like I got to channel some of those first instances of music that felt like they were different than what I was growing up listening to. My mom listened to a lot of Neo Soul and R &B and all of that stuff really still comes through too. In the 90s, Mary J. Blige, she's one of the people who taught me how to sing. And Randy and Monica and Tony. You were singing to their records? Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, so that was the music I was like raised on and like in my household. And like, but then I think some of the like alt rock stuff I got into, like AFI and like pop punk stuff.
49:59That was your dad. Yeah. No, it was like me in like a suburb and like going to Borders Bookstore and being like raised by Borders Bookstore. And like, you know, that I'm speaking to kind of like, oh, hearing something else and feeling like, what is this? for hearing System of a Down for the first time and being like, oh, what is this feeling happening right now? I didn't know I had these sort of sensations inside, but it's speaking to something that was there. Yeah, so Portrait of My Heart, kind of drawing from that alt-rock palette that kind of felt like it kind of fueled this new fascination and interest in, like, this is my music too.
50:44This is stuff that I really connect with. And you played some shows with Turnstile, didn't you? I did, yeah. I saw Brendan Yates go on some podcast maybe and say how he loves Little Deer. And I was like, what?
51:05It made me so happy. And then I think I reached out, DMed him or something. I was like, no way. That's so cool that you even listened to Spelling. asked us to play some shows. We played open for them in Vegas and Tucson, I think. It was so interesting to stand up there in front of their crowd. In Vegas? In Vegas. Yeah. There was a lot of confusion. No surprise. Yeah, there was a lot of puzzled looks and then kind of saw some people converted. Those are the best kinds of shows, though. I love those. I love when it's just not the perfect match for the audience. That's the most fun. Yeah, I thrive on that, too.
51:54I like seeing the sort of perplexed crowd and then some heads nodding and be like, I don't know.
52:06Okay.
52:10Yeah, it was a lot of fun. And I love his voice. Like, Portrait of My Heart, we're working on doing a remix with him. So featuring him on one of the tracks is just going to be really great. After this break, we'll be back with the rest of my conversation with Spelling. In today's super competitive business environment, the edge goes to those who push harder, move faster, and level up every tool in their arsenal. T-Mobile knows all about that. They're now the best network, according to the experts at Oocla Speedtest, and they're using that network to launch Supermobile, the first and only business plan to combine intelligent performance, built-in security, and seamless satellite coverage.
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53:36where you can see the sky. Best network based on analysis by Ookla of Speedtest Intelligence Data 1H 2025. The greatest music stories aren't always in the songs themselves. They're in the late night studio sessions, the chance encounters, and the cultural moments that shaped entire movements. For music lovers who find themselves going down rabbit holes about their favorite artists, Claude, an AI thinking partner, helps you explore those deeper questions. Whether you're wondering about the connections between different scenes, trying to understand what drove a particular creative period, or exploring how social movements influenced sound, Claude works through these complex cultural puzzles with you.
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54:54Lexus is a company that believes in the importance of setting a standard, which I can appreciate as someone who holds themselves to lofty if not ridiculous standards, especially with the car I drive. The standard Lexus has set for themselves is to experience amazing. Lexus measures success by the feeling and emotions evoked in a driver, like exhilaration and joy. Amazing can only be achieved by knowing people on a deeper level. The standard of amazing results in a feeling in drivers that their car was built in anticipation of them. machines that make you feel more human. Because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing.
55:31Experience amazing at your Lexus dealer. Yeah, you're doing a whole remix, like release of the album, but it's not going to come out at the same time, right? Yeah, it'll just be a few tracks and like Simon and I are working on those like remix versions. And the last few years I've just put more effort into connecting with other artists like that I really like like Brendan and it to me like that's the biggest like affirmation along the way like oh these artists I really love like they like spelling and what can I like gain from that as far as just like creative collaboration and seeing what fusion will come from because I think it's pretty all over the spectrum like the people who are interested in spelling isn't like they aren't coming from this like I'm interested in the music because I like hardcore music or I like you know this style of music or it's just all over the map I don't know if there's like I don't know if you could do an algorithmic like if you listen to spelling you would also like it's nothing that 100 % you're like ODB there's no father to your style sometimes I'll I've like heard my music pop up on things I wouldn't expect it to like algorithmically but then I'm like oh I do see the crossover there Like on what?
56:51I'm a big fan of Sibo Mato. And I was listening to their album, and then it started shuffling other stuff. And then one of my old songs was like a jump scare. I was like, what? Why does this sound so familiar? It was Dirty Desert Dreams from Maisie Fly. And I was like, ah, what? Why is this playing right now? Yeah, that just sort of, I guess, like synth music. Yeah, I guess. but I don't know. I mean, yeah, you definitely have a unique style. Yeah, an amalgamation of a lot. There's a lot going on in there. So the remix, I guess, or are they just like duets? Or like, wait, what are the... Like, how much are you changing the songs?
57:38I want to change them more. Like, Simon and I, he's fantastic also. Like, we have great chemistry. He worked on the track sometimes on, that's just the My Bloody Valentine cover on Portrait of My Heart. And he also did Waterfall and Drain. So he helped me just co-produce those. And then I was like, oh man, this was so cool. And I didn't really connect with him until towards the tail end of the whole process. And I was like, I wish we would have connected way earlier, but it's cool. And now I'm like, yeah, let's definitely do the remixes together. So, so far we're working on three. There's, I'm kind of want to like, keep this a surprise though, like who the features are.
58:16Got it, got it, got it, got it. You worked with Rob Bizzell on the project, who's done a lot of good work for SZA and like a bunch of other people. How was that? It was great. You know, I feel like that was my first experience working with a producer. Everything has been self-produced before, so there was definitely like a sort of an internal struggle at the concept at first and I knew it would really it would really benefit me and help me grow just to get that opportunity so went in and it felt it feels like 50 50 like you don't know if you're gonna vibe with someone and you can even if you like get along and like it's like how is that going to translate when it comes to like these creative decisions and so I've come a long way as a person as far as like being able to even be in that scenario in context like what you so would probably just give me so much dread and anxiety but um he's the loss of control or the loss of control and also just having to make decisions with someone you know because i think when i'm working on my own in solo capacity which i usually do producing it's like i can take as much time as I need and like you know like there isn't this need to communicate actively like it's just an internal communication so I was like still a little nervous and but he's great like he's made everything feel so casual I don't know what I was expecting but yeah he just had this confidence and like he I remember him being like he showed me what he was sort of starting out with and he's like and i was already really digging it and he's like yeah don't worry you're gonna leave here with something you love like just like i was like okay confidence
1:00:11i promise i guarantee it no so he just had like a really good no he's great like he knows how to like you know he knows what he's doing knows what he's doing and he had i like that sense of assurance because i you know i don't want to be in the room with someone that's like you know like like i want like do what you do best and like work from that and like that felt really comforting just to like things didn't feel awkward at all and also it was just awesome to see that was my kind of my all only one of few experiences seeing someone just like operate as a producer too and i'm like oh he's doing these things or whatever and like i do a lot of this stuff too you know like it was just like affirming to be like oh there isn't a blueprint there's so much experimentation there's so much just like fucking around with this like tape reel and so the like sensations of imposter syndrome come up or it's like what I do is that good enough or is it like refined enough or whatever and techniques and it's like we all don't know what we're doing in some capacity like the idea of expertise is so relative and especially in art yeah but yeah he's brilliant and like really helped me to like stand on ideas I had and be like no like try it like actually do it and would follow through and we came up with some just like some really fun stuff on portrait particularly like we were like strumming the trying to get real like pet sounds with it like strumming the piano keys and like doing all these effects on it and just adding subtle little like stuff that made a big difference and i came in with this version of the song that was like once again like an eight it was like eight minutes long and he's like this is cool but cut this cut like cut it in half were there like other sections where they were like this preamble i always do this too and he's like it's just my pop mind is kind of saying like this doesn't happen again anywhere else in the song i'm like it was this intro string line counter melody and i thought that was the sickest part of the song and i was like there's no way what like you didn't even cut that like that that is the song right there and he's like it just doesn't happen ever again like dot dot dot and i'm like oh you know like and i'm like fine we'll just let's try it let's try it and like that little voice in my head coming up being like this is a mistake like working with someone else like i hate this no no no but it was really good for me to kind of just see that happen like oh you know the thing that you think is absolutely right sometimes isn't or that like yeah you know to your point about there's no expertise like yeah can't even be experts about ourselves and what we you know it's hard to be objective about ourselves anyway you know to be objective and i always want to just do it it was a good reminder do it it takes to serve the song and like let's at least try it and I needed that like an outside brain to just show it to me in a different light so we had a really good time I mean it's interesting that on this project you both one learned how you can work with a producer but also like you like reified your own sort of abilities as a producer too like you you kind of moving forward do you think you want to self-produce again or do you want to work with someone else again or there's a sense of like relief and like i was saying wanted to just go back to me for this next project and see what comes out of that i i'm really excited to like yeah i think that that experience with rob was super affirming and i'm like i feel like i'm a i'm a strong producer like i know what i want and i think that's the most important thing is like knowing essentially what you want and acting on it like because you could sit there all day with There's so many other versions and options, but ultimately I do know what I want strongly.
1:04:08So I think I'm motivated to kind of just go there for what's next. It's like self-produce it. So the future for spelling is let this album come out, do the tour, move to L.A., and self-produce the next record. Sounds about right. Yeah. Cool. Well, glad you'll be around more. Me too. It's been, I don't know, LA's just everything. It's like everything everyone says about it at the same time. Like the good and bad, it's all there. That's very true. Yeah. Mostly the good. Mostly good. Well, congratulations on the new album. Thank you. It's really great. And I'm looking forward to spending more time with it.
1:04:52I appreciate it. Thanks, Justin. It's fun talking to you. Very official. Very official.
1:05:02In the episode description, you'll find a link to a playlist of some of our favorite spelling songs. Be sure to check out youtube.com slash brokenrecordpodcast to see all of our video interviews. And be sure to follow us on Instagram at thebrokenrecordpod. You can follow us on Twitter at Broken Record. Broken Record is produced and edited by Leah Rose with marketing help from Eric Sandler and Jordan McMillan. Our engineer is Ben Toleday. Broken Record is a production of Pushkin Industries. If you love this show and others from Pushkin, consider subscribing to Pushkin Plus. Pushkin Plus is a podcast subscription that offers bonus content and ad-free listening for$4.99 a month.
1:05:42Look for Pushkin Plus on Apple Podcast subscriptions. And if you like this show, please remember to share, rate, and review us on your podcast app. Our theme music's by Kenny Beats. I'm Justin Richmond.
1:05:57The more you learn about your favorite artists, the more you want to know. Claude helps you keep digging, finding new threads and rabbit holes to explore. Whether it's discovering deeper meaning behind a detail in an interview or figuring out the influence behind an artist's particular era, Claude thinks with you to find the next clue. If you can't get enough of the stories behind your favorite music and artists, Claude will help you discover new layers you didn't know existed. Try Claude for free at claude.ai slash brokenrecord. This is an ad by BetterHelp. We've all had that epic rideshare experience.
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From the publisher
Chrystia Cabral is the experimental, often mystically-inclined Oakland artist who records as Spellling. Since her 2019 debut, she’s built a reputation for richly imaginative music that defies easy categorization. Her third album, The Turning Wheel, earned a rare perfect 10 from notoriously discerning online critic Anthony Fantano, who called it “stunning and beautiful.”
Today, Spellling joins Justin Richmond to talk about the making of her latest release, Portrait of My Heart—a bold evolution that deepens her blend of avant-garde, pop, and rock by adding new layers of mysticism and theatricality. She also reflects on her transition from teaching to touring, the intention behind every element of her sound, and the early days of her music-making, when she first began experimenting with gear.
You can hear a playlist of some of our favorite Spellling songs HERE.
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