S23 Ep8: Master your mind — the power of visualisation with Maya Raichoora, Mental Fitness & Visualisation Expert

33:06That is where the power lies. The thoughts will come, the fears will come, the doubts will come. It's normal. That's where you have to say, one second, am I actually going to believe this or am I going to choose different? And that's where the responsibility comes in, the ability to respond. I'm going to come back to your story, but I want to ask a question that came up today. I was doing an interview and someone said, so Holly, talk to me about you know the imposter syndrome now being an advocate for women forever I said well I'm not talking about imposter syndrome I'm not going to last year an international women's day I said this is the last panel I'm going to be doing on imposter syndrome because why is it every international women's day am I asked to talk about imposter syndrome and I said because quite frankly, why do we keep talking about these things that are terrible, that are holding us back?

34:03What about the fact that if you invest in a female business, you're more likely to have far higher returns than men? What if we talk about the female pound and how when a woman buys with her pound, she is something like 60, 70 % more likely to support a business that actually does good. Why don't we talk about the power she, you know, yields in society? But no, we're going to talk about imposter syndrome. So you're telling me here, which I sort of know, but tell people that are listening, because I feel, I said today, the imposter syndrome conversation for me is like a duvet you know you think that you're going to wrap yourself up in it and then somehow it will protect you by saying that I have the imposter syndrome this duvet isn't a good duvet that you're wrapping yourself up in I'd like to hand over to you what you think about that because just on the basis of what you just said women in business talking about imposter syndrome continuously what are we doing to our mind um to be honest I think the conversation is a little bit wrong I think um I don't see why people think it's such a bad thing like okay let me put it this way what is the primary function of the brain um to protect yourself exactly so when we are in situations that feel unfamiliar or maybe they're new or maybe, you know, we're pushing our comfort zone a little bit, your brain will be like, hey, Holly, I don't think you should be here.

35:40Let's just run away quick. It doesn't know if you're literally standing up for yourself in a meeting or if a tiger is chasing you. So your brain is doing its job by just saying, hey, I don't think we should be here. You don't deserve to be here. It will give you every possible reason to tell you get out of the situation. Now, the problem is a lot of us believe our brain and we believe our thoughts. And that's when we're like, oh my gosh, you're right. I shouldn't be here. Or I'm not good enough to be here. Or well, why have they chosen me? And I think when you realize that this label of saying, okay, you know, I have imposter syndrome, we get so stuck now thinking that, okay, cool.

36:20Like you said, as soon as we have a label, it feels kind of productive. It's like, great. I can justify why I have it. But this is where the difference between just saying something and then actually doing something changes because with imposter syndrome you can absolutely have a conversation with it if it says to you oh hey look I shouldn't be here and you're like you know what totally understand that you're scared but I'm really excited to try it will slowly slowly but surely calm down like I don't resonate with imposter syndrome anymore because I've taught my brain enough times that like I know you're a bit scared and I get it it's okay but like I trust myself here and so I really understand why you kind of mentioned that the more we talk about it the more we get stuck in it and the more than people think like oh my gosh I have this even though they might just be feeling a little bit anxious or fearful which again is so human and I think this is why I struggle with like the labels and stuff like that because we now know if someone has anxiety or imposter syndrome before we even know their name and I don't think that's healthy so I think it comes back down to even if it's something you are battling with because I don't belittle it I don't dismiss it I do think it's you know people can go through those things just ask yourself what is the one little bit of action that I'm going to take so that it does not have to define me anymore because all these things don't need to be fixed they're just patterns and they're just beliefs and we again have that responsibility now to change it you see and i wish we were talking like this in some of the panels that i've been in whereas slightly what can happen it can become an echo chamber of seeing people that you admire admitting that they have imposter syndrome and how that has held them back or something like this which then i feel in the audience is sitting there saying okay well that's okay if I'm being held back by this surely I'm being I am being held back back by this this is the not the excuse in a horrible way but this is the padding that's what this duvet I always think of this duvet it's this padding that I've got and my thing as much as what you're saying but obviously you're saying in a very eloquent incredibly clever way is just basically we've got to maybe talk about the positive things and you have now explained because that is exactly what you need to do because that's how we're going to rewire the brain.

38:43But coming back to your story, despite your battles with your health, you did go to University of Bristol to study geography with innovation and you use visualisation to help you get to that point. What was that like, that bit? Did visualisation get you out of the bed and it got you to university? Yeah, absolutely. I was doing a few types of visualisations at the time. So one, and this is the most basic one was I had to show my brain and body that it was possible for me to go to university because I'd been told by so many people you can't go you can't go you'll never be able to go so I had to create this imagery where I saw myself in Bristol and particularly I saw myself in um the badminton kit for Bristol University so I like looked it up I saw what color it was it was maroon and white and I literally imagined myself like being able to play again and I even I mean, it sounds so lame, but I saw myself in lectures, like enjoying it because I love to study.

39:42And it gave me hope. It gave me belief that, hey, Maya, you can do this. And it's the same as like, if you take an athlete, if they imagine themselves, let's say, achieving a goal or winning, it again builds that belief because the key thing about visualization and why it works is the brain really struggles to know the difference between what's real and what's imagined. And that is the crux of everything. And because you're imagining things all the time, then whatever you are creating here, you're also creating elsewhere. So that was one of the visualizations. The second one, and I briefly mentioned this, is I drew out my colon.

40:18So it's like a, you know, I colored it in pink, et cetera. And then for about half an hour every day, I closed my eyes and I would imagine, this is going to sound odd, but it was very creative. I imagined this hoover coming into my colon, hoovering up all the bad cells and like fighting off all these piranhas that were like the pain in my body. And actually, when you look at some of the studies in medicine, this is a really great tool for stroke victims, cancer patients, where let's say they imagine their cancer cells and then they see like soldiers in their body, like fighting them off. It really helps to show the mind and body that, hey, we are getting better, we are healing.

41:00So I did that a lot. But then I also was using things like process visualization, where I was seeing myself walking and I was really practicing that performance side of it. I'd also imagined myself, let's say, on trains or in cars, but feeling a bit more stronger because I used to get so anxious there. And so again, I was rewiring all these experiences, which meant that day by day, I was feeling a bit braver, a bit bolder, and it wasn't all plain sailing. You know, I still had setbacks. But the best thing was I had this vision of where I wanted to be and who I wanted to be and how I was going to feel.

41:36And I never, I never let anything stand in the way. Sometimes I would even get my blood results back, right? And it would just say like inflammation. And I used to like see it there. I used to close my eyes and I used to imagine, okay, there's going to be a day where I get that sheet again and it's like all green, all green, all green. You know, some people may think, oh yeah, maybe you were just lucky. It's wishful thinking. But when you're in a position like that, your brain can literally be a weapon and it can really harm you or it's going to be the thing that helps you through it because you have to exercise a type of strength that no one is born with you have to earn it you have to build it you have to be in that arena and be so willing to fight but also surrender at the same time like I was seeing all this and fighting for it but then all my results were different and I was like oh my gosh and had to trust that with time you know my body was going to help me my mind was going to help me and I was just going to give it my everything.

42:41This is scientifically proven. This is an ancient practice. Just give me the, what you say to the naysayers. Firstly, I fully welcome them because like I said, I think mental fitness is where maybe physical fitness was in the 60s, 70s. So we are a little bit behind. The reason visualization is so great is because the mind essentially is created and has all these different roads in it and these roads represent pathways which essentially is every time you think feel and perform you you drive on these pathways in the last like 10 20 years neuroscience has really shown that hey wait we can rewire these because of neuroplasticity and this is the idea that your brain is malleable it can change with repetition so what visualization is doing is because the brain really doesn't know if something is real or imagined, then if you are imagining you, let's say, walking or running or maybe performing better than you do, with repetition, you are training your brain now to think, feel and perform like that.

43:50And that is why elite athletes use visualization. Now, in my research, and I guess for the last eight and a a half years. You know, I thought visualization was a bit like manifestation where you're just seeing an outcome, but there are actually five techniques. And when you know those five techniques, you realize, oh, actually what we're doing is it's like the weightlifting for the brain. We are making it stronger. We are breaking down old roads and building new ones, better ones. And this is really because the more you fire certain images and thought patterns and beliefs, you then wire them into new beliefs and new ways of thinking.

44:30And that's amazing. Like that is amazing. And it all comes down to the fact that your brain really doesn't know. And in fact, try this. If you're like listening to this, try this 30 second exercise. It's quite fun. So if you just want to close your eyes, and I want you to imagine that you are in your kitchen and just see yourself in that environment. So the color of the cupboards, to see the objects, And now you go to your fridge and you open the fridge and there's this like waft of cold air when you open it. And on the shelf, there's half a lemon. And I just want you to hold it in your hand now.

45:08It's got like a tough yellow skin. You can just feel the weight of the lemon in your hand. Now it looks very, very juicy. There's a few pips there, but it's like very juicy. And I just want you to start smelling it now. Smell the fragrance of that lemon. you can smell the citrusiness already okay now take this lemon and I want you to start squeezing the juice drop by drop into your mouth I want you to really taste it it is so tangy it's cold it's sour every time it lands on your tongue it's like maybe your cheeks tingle a little bit your saliva's increasing keep squeezing that lemon maybe a pip comes in now really taste it squeeze all that juice out of it okay and gently open the eyes for me okay now did you maybe notice that your cheeks went a bit tingly maybe your saliva increased what happened well look my my entire mouth is like i feel like i've sucked a lemon yeah i literally can't even how funny is that i'm literally like yeah horrible i know oh but you're obviously not holding a lemon right or eating it no but even now right now when i'm trying to talk to you my whole my whole mouth has gone really tight yeah and my jaw has gone tight yeah so you can see in just those 30 seconds the brain literally has no idea if you are physically eating this lemon or if you're just imagining it.

46:43And so now apply this to a different situation. Let's say you are, I don't know, about to start a business and your brain is constantly showing you images of you failing, people judging you, maybe it not going very well, or maybe you're about to do something public speaking on stage and you just imagine you going blank or the audience laughing. You are literally telling your brain, hey, let's do this. And whatever you repeat, you are getting very good at. And so that's why we have to be intentional with no, let me visualize me doing well on stage or me actually building that business. And so you can see at all times, your brain is receiving what you are imagining.

47:32Are you a small business owner? If you are, have you been onto Royal Mail's Small Business Hub? It is full of insight, articles and tips designed with you in mind. Whether you have a new creative business idea and are starting to bring it to life, are looking to grow, or perhaps you are more established and wanting to know your next step, there is information on the Small Business Hub tailored for you. And you might even see me on there sharing some top tips too. Why not take a look? Go to royalmail.com forward slash small business hub. For now though, let's get back to our conversation of inspiration.

48:16How did this book come about? Because it's called the best book you'll ever read on visualization. it aims to help us all think feel and perform like the top one percent what do you mean by the top one percent so i think you have to define this for yourself because the book really draws upon basically all the research all the people all the experiments that have been done about visualization for the last few decades sometimes even it goes back to stoicism so you know years and years ago because what I found was the main people that were using visualization and were seeing results were elite athletes people like Ronaldo, Serena Williams, Muhammad Ali, Tiger Woods and and I was like wait a second well why does no one else know how they did that and it's because a lot of the techniques have stayed in these elite circles for so many years that no one else has been able to learn them.

49:17So the reason I say think, feel, perform like the top 1 % is because the tools we are learning in that book are what the best of the best use, but now we're applying it to our life. And one of my favorite things about this book is that when I was learning visualization, I had to look at like one chapter in a book from like 1800s to then, you know, another chapter in a book that came out like in 2012. There was, it was just so messy everywhere. There was nothing where I had one place where I could be like, okay, if I want to learn and master this skill for my mental fitness, where should I go? And it felt like a bit of a, I guess, a contribution that I wanted to share this incredible technique, but in ways that no one has really heard before or seen before.

50:02So whether you already do visualization, this will definitely take it further. But whether you're new to it, it's a really nice way to start as well. and obviously the book actually includes over 15 guided visualizations in it so I actually take you through how to do them and whether you're listening to them on an audiobook or you're reading them because I wanted people to do it not just read about it otherwise you know we're stuck in the same thing of like yeah I know it's important but actually do it so by the way I'm still tasting lemon just so not tasting it but my my lips feel as if I've just sucked a lemon So thanks.

50:39Does this wear off? You know, tonight I'm going to be like, Maya, I'm still sucking this bloody lemon. My God. Now, this book is, I said to you, I'm on the first, coming into the second chapter. Yeah. I am someone who does visualise and I'm really, really excited about this. I would say I try and think about and I'm really excited because I'm a novice because I have never even I didn't even know I was visualising. If I'm honest with you, I know slightly where I'm going to be in 2026, 2027. I can see something I'm designing for 2027. I can walk in it. I can feel it. I can touch it. All those sorts of things.

51:22So I'm a very basic visualizer. I would say that is something that has powered my businesses. It has made me not scared because, you know, some of the things I'm going to tackle are pretty big. And friends will say, you know, doesn't it worry you? It doesn't even touch this. Like, I don't even feel worried, scared or anything. I feel it's real. That's more what the thing is. And then I can't cope with the fact I've actually got to go and do the work because it's already real in my mind. And so I'm really excited about knowing that I'm on basic level here and that I've been able to achieve what I have on basic level.

52:06And you're going to take me to these new stages. But I want to understand how the Nike first ever mental fitness trainer. I mean, congratulations, by the way. And in Nike's entire history, this role has never existed before. And three years ago, you pitched it to them and it was rejected. So tell me about the journey from then to now. And I'm assuming you use visualization. Yeah. So growing up, I hated losing. Like if I got rejected or, you know, anything like that. I remember at school, I wasn't a prefect. And I'm not kidding, like Holly, I held that for so long in my life because I was like, oh, just not worthy.

52:52Like, you know, all this stuff I could not handle losing, especially as a badminton player. I used to like cry on core. It was awful. In a similar way, I trained my brain to actually embrace failure. And there's this idea of being, it's like from a Marvel film where every time this guy got shot, it made him stronger. And I was like, oh my gosh. And it's called anti-fragility. So it's not to say that you can't be vulnerable or fragile, but what we're saying is that let those setbacks and those hard moments, let it make you stronger. And so it was really preparing me because with Nike, I, you know, similar to you, I love thinking quite far ahead.

53:33And whenever I visualized the future of mental fitness, I just always saw the swoosh. I was like, OK, that's weird. And I was like, OK, let me have some fun with this. And I like to think quite boldly. So it was actually a bit of a lazy thing because I don't think I can build the Nike of mental fitness on my own. So I was like, well, who should I partner with other than literally Nike themselves? So on LinkedIn, I found like over 50 contacts and I basically just messaged them all very cold. Some DMs, some email. Didn't really get any response. I got a few and it was like, okay, I'll pass it on to this person.

54:10But you know, it always gets a bit lost in the way. sometimes I even tried to like just cold call I did all of it and then I remember every time I was in Oxford Circus because I was still visualizing this goal it wasn't necessarily a trainer just yet I just wanted to get involved um every time I went to Oxford Circus I saw the store and because it was giving me power in the present I'd walk in and I'd be like hey can I speak to your manager and everyone's like oh my gosh what's happened so they'd come and I'd be Look, I have this idea, X, Y, Z. I'd be like, look, you guys are falling behind because you're not thinking about this side of the fitness industry.

54:46Sorry, is this the manager of Oxford Street Storm that you're telling this to? Yeah, literally. Oh, my God. Yeah. Someone's like, Steve, there's this lady downstairs. She wants to talk to you about this thing called mental fitness. Is she mental? No, no, no. She wants it. Yeah, go on. Carry on. This is making me laugh. But it went even worse because I did it six times. I did it six times. because every time they were like, oh yeah, we'll think about it. And I was like, but will they, Maya? And then the sixth time I was like, you are not going to leave until you get a yes. So I just sat there. I sat there until like everyone kind of left the store and I was the last one there.

55:22And I was like, so. And I basically showed them the vision I had for an event at Oxford Circus. I was like, look, really simple. There's no cost to you guys. I will do everything. let's just bring a bunch of people bring community etc and one of the girls there she was like okay look uh right now I will give you the person's number who does like the agency stuff for Nike and maybe like you know if you're on the radar that's fine then like a few months later this guy did call me to be like okay we heard you do something about mindfulness and I was like oh no but fine um we have this event coming up and we want to do mindfulness with dance and I was like yeah but I don't do mindfulness but then I was like Maya do it but do your thing so I was like yeah absolutely I do mindfulness so it was it there in Kings Cross HQ and we got there and I like did my whole mental fitness thing and all the Nike team were like sorry why have we never done this before and I was like thank you and this was like two years later right and then it became this thing where now I had a bit of a foot in I was like okay let me just slowly but steadily really prove my point because I'm not one to say that you know they should have hired me no it's that I have to prove as well why this is important and then I guess like a few months forward I then did like a formal pitch to their marketing team to be like hey you guys have so many running trainers and so many physical fitness trainers what about any mental fitness trainers no like we've never heard of it.

56:54And I was like, I explained it. And they were like, interesting. And I think, because again, my vision was so clear and I have this philosophy in life that you've got to live your life like a predator, not like prey. And prey means that you're just always seeing the danger and you're letting these setbacks just make you weaker. But to me, a predator is like, Maya, go for your goals. It doesn't matter if you don't catch it, just go for it give everything you've got and yeah and then I officially became their trainer a year ago and it was so funny because my manager at the time there was like sorry so do you do like sudokus and I was like no uh so it's been a massive education thing literally but you do crosswords with people exactly is that how you train them right that's exactly it but But do you know what's amazing, Holly, is last week, Nike unveiled their first ever shoe called Nike Mind.

57:53And it is simply a shoe to help the brain. And now they're all like, to me, Maya, what do we do? And it's amazing because the innovation was in the lab for over 10 years. And so you really are seeing this shift culturally. But there just are not enough people to know how to do it. And at the same time, I was training some of the best tennis players and footballers in the world with their mental fitness. And so you just they couldn't say no. I built enough of a I guess. Yeah, I liked making it so hard for them to say no. And now I just, you know, it's a great team to be part of. And I'm excited for where it's going to go as well.

58:33And so for those who are not realizing. So the work you now do with Nike is working with top athletes and working with the best of the best. who need to thrive under pressure and yet still need to balance their performance and their wellbeing. And we do mean wellbeing, but not in the way that that manager meant wellbeing. That's not what you were talking about. So that moment, the Oxford Street store, where they were just saying this, this young woman, she just won't leave. Like we're trying to turn off the lights and she's not actually leaving to now being here. Are you slightly, yeah of course like in not an arrogant way because also by the way what do you think about this sort of potential where you say I'm a predator not prey and maybe you might say to me yeah well Holly I really did see myself here like this is correct this is how this goes because I have been visualizing this and would anyone say is that arrogance is that ego is that do you know what Because you've got to remember quite a few people, and I'm talking for you out there, who's like slightly not wanting to put their head above to be shot down.

59:50And is this a bit bold? Is this a bit all about me? You know, you can hear it. And do you hear this from people? I literally love the questions you're asking here and challenging with. I think the thing about visualising the goal is that like you're never going to know if it happens. I didn't know. Like when I was initially visualizing Nike, it was never to be a Nike trainer. Like that was not there. And even if I didn't achieve the goal, one thing I will say is I would have been so proud of the person I had become anyway on the way because it made me be a bit more bold and it made me take chances that really in life, if we always play small, we will get small results.

1:00:30And that is okay. Not everyone has to do stuff like this. I think for me, boldness is a value for me. And in fact, you know what? I'll tell you, when I went to LA this year and I took a very similar approach to a situation there and it backfired so much, like so much to the point that like it really, it was not good. And it was funny because... What, you being bold and a predator? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Creeping up on your... Yeah, yeah. I did a similar thing. I went straight into the shop, into the offices. I was like, come on. Yeah, I know how this goes, by the way. I win at the end of this, by the way.

1:01:07Yeah. And it really backfired. And you know what's funny? I then started associating bold with, oh, actually, Maya, you need to chill out. That's a bit embarrassing. And it was only this week that I was like, wait a second. I'm noticing that I've basically shrinked who I am because of that one experience because it was quite emotionally charged. But everything I have got in my life, even choosing to get better, was a bold decision because I had to come off medication on my own. I had to take these risks. And I'm not saying we should all take risks, but I think I can pretty much guarantee that most of us are living life a bit more like prey than predator because we are worried about what are people are going to say?

1:01:47They're going to judge me. Oh, it's embarrassing to do this. It feels safer. Yeah. Oh gosh, it's so much easier, right? And I think being a predator is in the little things. It's like, have that honest conversation with the person. Don't try and pretend that you're not feeling a certain way. Yeah. Send that email, post that video, tell them what you want. And it won't always give you the results you want. But since I've really aligned to that value, it's so fun and it definitely gets me in rooms and positions that I think if I didn't do it, I wouldn't be in. So there's obviously a balance. And builds you the mire that you are today on this podcast.

1:02:27You know, for all the goals that you might set and visualize and all those sorts of things. I think you've said this a number of times during the podcast. The secondary effect of this has just changed your life and who you are. And it's all for the better. Yeah, absolutely. The practice has basically cellularly changed you. Yeah, absolutely. And one thing I'd say is, you know what? I think to experience visualization in a different way, move it away from goals and instead think about your character as a goal. So obviously I know people can't see this, but like this is like the background of my phone.

1:03:04You can see this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now, this is a character I built. She's like my 2.0 and her name is Meta. Now Meta, she's half beast, half monk. Because when I came into entrepreneurship, all I could see was like, you have to hustle, you have to do those, you know, 20 hour days. And that's the only way you can get far. But I had just been someone who was very ill because of all of that. And so I built her to remind myself that Maya, do it in your own way. Yes, be on those stages and be bold and fiery. But you have that softness. you want to spend time on your own by the lake, you do it. You don't need to feel guilty about that.

1:03:42And Meta is someone, she has incredible boundaries. She has incredible self-confidence. And every morning I would visualize her. I would see how she'd walk into a room, how she would talk, how she would implement those boundaries. And today I'm not just visualizing her. I fully embodied her. Like I am her. And so she now needs to evolve. And I think, again, we forget that we are the only animal in the world that can wake up and choose, hey, I want to try this today. I want to be a bit different today. I want to improve my character today. So let's actually start experimenting with that and see where that potential could go.

1:04:19And I don't think that's ego. I think it's just really great belief. And it doesn't mean that you don't still be kind and grateful because I always believe that success without gratitude is failure. There is no point achieving anything in life if you are not going to take moments to be like hey I am so grateful for this opportunity I'm so grateful for my mind for my body for my family for my friends that is the ultimate success I love that two things while you were talking I was visualizing I was visualizing Sasha Fiss which I'm obviously assuming this is why Beyonce has this alter ego where she puts herself into that person what that person believes and how lucky we are that I'm not an elephant.

1:05:03Yeah, it's true. And how, you know, that all I would do is wake up in the day, think about my long trunk. I'd probably think it's too long. Drinking water, looking after my young. And this is where you're a trained mental athlete. And I am thinking about elephants and Sasha Fierce, right? So this is the difference, my love. Well, honestly, the whole personality of my company and brand is that your mind is like a puppy and if you don't train it, it's going to shit everywhere. There we are. So I'm all for the animal analogies and I think it is true, you know, like choose, choose. Choose. And I think that's the thing.

1:05:44I think that's where the elephant comes from. The elephant does not have a choice. We're the only people with the choice to have an adventure every day and that it's how we wake up. And I'm going to, God, tomorrow morning, watch out world. Do you know what I mean? my husband's oh here we go oh she's she's off on one she's off on one and I'm like no no no no no hang on a minute sit down with your boy all day let's visualize together yeah you're not an elephant this is the first thing I want to say to you what what are you talking about can I come around I want to hear that conversation oh my actually you are coming around talking about elephants do you know one of the most impactful stories of my whole life is actually about an elephant and it's this idea that there's a baby elephant in the circus and obviously when they're babies they've got to get chained because you know they they've got to basically be kept naturally the baby elephant's just not strong enough to pass those chains and this dad and son come into this circus like years later and the baby is the the son is like well why why is that elephant not coming out the chains because he's now like fully grown and the circus person there was like see when the elephant was small he actually didn't have the strength to break them now that the elephant's big he still believes he doesn't have the strength he hasn't even tried because he thinks that oh because I didn't have the strength then I don't have it now so he just stays stuck and it's the same with our own limitations like a lot of the limitations we have are created here and it's not actually the case.

1:07:21And so we've got to learn, how do we start doubting a lot of your limitations rather than doubting our potential? And so just think back, be the elephant sometimes and be like, you know what? I can come out of the chains. I never thought that my use of the elephant analogy here would have such a profound ending, Maya, to this podcast. I mean, look at that. We're a double act. I'm like Dumbo, you know, in the circus And you're giving us this beautiful story as the trained athlete that you are. Listen, we are coming to the end of this show. I wanted to ask you, I use the analogy that this is a roller coaster.

1:08:00You're 27 years young, but with a very, very, very wise mind on you. If you had to pinpoint a moment that you would say was one of your lowest low points on that roller coaster, what would you say it was? Hmm. Oh, I think it was the moment I genuinely lost hope. Now, I lost that after I lost my fight, because I think when you lose your fight, you kind of surrender to it. But when you lose hope, I think hope is one of the biggest blessings we have as humans, because no matter how dire your situation is if you can find a spark of hope that's all you need but there was so there was just this time and this is maybe a bit too much information it was this time where I was in hospital and I'd gone to the toilet and I had no energy to walk back to my bed and I was like oh my god like this is going to be the rest of my life and every little bit of my light in my heart in my soul just went it just like switched off and it was scary it was such a dark place being like oh my gosh there is no way out there is no way out that was really really low really low you poor poor thing I'm so sorry you had to go through that although who you are today um was born through that experience um yeah tell me conversely your greatest high?

1:09:36Honestly, like this moment, this moment, I, every day, like even now, it's just like during this podcast, even the amount of gratitude I feel to the fact that I get to speak to you and that I can sit here, not in pain, not thinking, oh my God, I need to run to the loo. Like that is like, it gives me goosebumps to think that I get to live another day every day. And it's just like, yeah, it's the best feeling in the world. And I hope I never lose that because that is a choice as well it's that childlike curiosity and you know just you find the magic and the extraordinary in just the tiniest of moments and I again think that's a skill it's not anything like I was born with no it's just a skill you choose to do that so literally this moment as I speak to you is something I'm happiest for I know what a lovely response I feel quite emotional I feel like you're going to have the richest life my love you're gonna have the richest life because you at 27 are seeing the world through those eyes and it normally it takes until you get to about my stage where you start learning that you're on the other side and that you better start being grateful and here you are on the other side with this mindset you know what an amazing thing um we're at that time with the podcast where I'm gonna ask you to read a letter to your younger self I don't know what you're gonna say um I hope it involves elephants um but I'm going to I'm going to hand over to you so I actually decided to say it from where I am right now yeah um because as I reflect even this year and I guess what I wanted to say is like well to my and this is like 15 year old self so this year has genuinely been one of the loneliest years for me because I've lost quite a few friends not you know just because things happen in your 20s and whatever but it's also been the most honest years of my life because I've really found who I want to be and what feels really aligned and if I think back to when you were young and you were so desperate to be loved and seen and fit in and just you wanted the world to kind of like validate you it's the coolest feeling ever to genuinely know that you've grown up to now learn how to validate yourself without other people's opinions or need for that and the other thing I want to say to her is that in life it's so easy to blame yourself for what happened and every little choice whether it was listening to that doctor or making that mistake or choosing that person or that decision but it's just not your fault like it is not your fault like it really isn't your fault and no matter how many times you have to remind yourself that remember that you do not have anything to do with that and you can let yourself now fully go and forgive yourself for it and the The last thing I just say is you are bloody, if I'm allowed to swear, fucking amazing.

1:12:52You can swear. Yeah, keep learning and growing and yeah, change who you are, but don't change your core. Keep changing and evolving, but at your core, you are the boldest, bravest and most coolest person ever. So enjoy it. I think it's just because I just feel so maternal towards you in not a patronizing way in a in a way as a young incredible woman an entrepreneur in the making with such bold huge vision which I I do empathize with and to understand and I just wish you everything I think people on this podcast are going to listen to this and you've just got a whole heap of people cheering you along now we're going to be on the sides you can visualize this we're going to be on the sides right um we're going to have pom-poms um we're going to your the suit on your meta she's wearing a blue suit we're going to blue pom-poms and we're going to have them in the air and we're going to be shouting your name and we're just going to wish you everything and we're going to watch you do your thing and we're going to be really really proud of you because you're the next generation of women coming along that's going to change the world that we live in and I for one I'm very very honoured to have spoken to you at this point so congratulations oh thank you no I really appreciate it and look I'm super inspired by you and I think you know it's it's also an honor to speak to you and all I'll say is as everyone's doing the pom-poms don't forget to train the brain as well you know it's all one thing to listen to the podcast but then now the training begins if you want to become that warrior that champion you've got to put the reps in uh that's when it really starts you heard it here everyone it's not just about the pom-poms okay bless you my love.

1:14:55Thank you so much for this podcast. Thank you. Thank you for joining me today. If you've enjoyed this episode, can I ask that you share it with a friend and like, subscribe and review it too, so that together we can inspire even more people to follow their dreams to build a life they love.