Body Language Secrets: How to Command Any Room with Confidence | FO337 Raj Shamani

38:49So, this is a subconscious message that I am not listening to. So, when we get to give messages, when we get to give my clients or courses, I always think the first step is self-awareness. If you know yourself, this thing is done by default. So there are two approaches. One is inside out approach. One is outside in approach. Outside in, fake it till you make it. First we will do body language, we will wear clothes, we will do that. And we will do something. Inside out is first find out why is your behavior. Is it because of childhood trauma? Is it because of your upbringing? Is it because you face something like a violent situation?

39:31So this is why you have this. So these are two approaches. I personally feel inside out approach is good. So, it doesn't need to solve that above. You don't need to say that you have to laugh every second in 2 seconds you have to laugh every second in 3 seconds you have to assess that. It's very mechanical when it's mechanical. I also feel that many people when they are in social gathering and they think that we don't know anyone. We are strangers here. And that time they are coming out and they are doing That's a very weakness sign. Yes. I know that that people have to talk about or something like that.

40:04But like one or two times, you know, you genuinely work and you can't understand who is doing fake and you can understand that you can tell. So you can tell that it's socially awkward that it's not getting to understand that it's just on the phone. Yes. For example, a person like you who has a very good presence, right? If you see a person like that, if you can just make that person feel that hey, I am seeing you, that will also give the person a little bit. So they'll say, oh, I have a friend wants to talk to me okay fine you run pocket in the pocket he will talk yes so that is also I think a kind of responsibility which is here should be able to raise a little higher and take a little I agree and many people don't do it because they like attention why would they want to give that give it to someone else fair that's that's a wrong thing to do but I'm I don't like attention in the room I really am not that person yes so I love the stage when I am on stage I will command I am like a lion in the jungle I'll walk like it this is my area this is my place but when I am in a party and when I am with everyone then I become a crowd I don't want to shine I never want to shine I don't do things which makes me gives me extra attention in fact I go little behind I wanna get invisible and get mixed in the crowd wow I want to mix everything and I feel like okay whoever doesn't talk about it talk about it if anyone doesn't talk about it I don't talk about it like I'm a very and I don't understand this part of my personality because extroverts usually go to everyone they're like party light they're like they're all attention I'm not that but at the same time when I'm on the stage I'm very different so these are like two different personalities which I have inside me and I love it this way because when I'm in a room I feel like this is someone else's time let them be I want to be here and I'm very secure very nice for you very very good thought process because people don't do this for example Ranveer Singh okay if there is an event Ranveer Singh has to be there somebody else's marriage somebody else's event why do you have to so you see this So this is a sign that a person is really, really in need of attention or validation.

42:35This is a sign. It's your birthday, but I'll go there and dance. Everyone says, hey, let's do something. So this is one thing that I have seen in Ranveer Singh. Nobody, I mean, it's anyone's event. He needs to be there at the center of attraction. but don't you think it's it also works for him that's why he does it people want him that's why if they're calling so they want to call that's why he does it that's a part of his brand that's a part of the package that he brings on table yes that's a little extra flair if he doesn't do this he will not be him why are they calling him if he had to call him if he had to call him he would call him yes I am giving you a little extra flair that I know that you bring on table.

43:29So it can act as a positive image also for him. Yeah, maybe for his fans, yes. I have seen some of the important events. For example, a small clip. A.P. Dillon, I think A.P. Dillon's music launch something was there. Documentary launch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. My God. Okay. So yeah, that was there. You were there? I was right there yeah. Okay. Okay. Right here it happened. Okay. So, there was AP Dhillon there and our Salman Ji was there. And then Ranveer Singh comes. So, Ranveer Singh gives more value to Salman. Obviously, it's Salman. So, when he was there, Salman Khan was there. So Ranveer Singh comes and stands near Salman Khan.

44:25Making Salman as the main person. So Salman sees that and he says, Ranveer says, So that AP Dillon becomes the person. So Salman does not do that on purpose. He knows very well that which event is the main person. But Ranveer does that. And then he also gets schooled by Salman there. So very interesting. So there are many events like this. where he was not the main person he was getting another award so he had to say something there so Nana Patikar was also there in that event and it was an event for Nana Patikar where he had to say something I like him I don't know why I don't decode so much yeah obviously you do it professionally with your work yes I like him I genuinely enjoy like because every time I've seen him in a party or at random place or in movies or videos, online or offline, I've seen him same.

45:32So that's why I have a respect for my respect. How does he feel the same? And he's true to his brand. Ranveer Singh is equals to energy. Yes, yes. That's his cold one level, one word branding. And that's it. He does ads too. He does movies too. He does offline too. He does all events too. So mainly from a branding perspective, from a fan, from somebody who's just watching it and enjoying, I respect him for that. Because I know a lot of people who are very big stars, who are different from off screen or on screen. They are completely different. Like completely different. He's the same. so I enjoy that consistency in him I enjoy the fabrication in him I think that's a DNA in him that I'm a loud energetic person so I'll show him everywhere so in every room they do the same thing he does the same thing and it's again if you don't change a lot then it is fine this is how you are another person I'll not name if you see this person you will see this person asking for a credit most of the time it happened at my party it happened at this place i remember making these two people meet right now the thing is even in the award function or something you will notice that oh i did that i now it's again it's not a bad thing just so it will tell you what a person actually lacked during their childhood so that person was not really he was never seen he was never heard so he developed this thing that I will do something a little bit so I will say that it's for me tell me to tell you to tell this was my place in my party I got you people because I want that credit never been given any credit never been told hey you're a very good boy I really love you never so these things like I said inside out approach right so if a person knows that where my behavior is then my perspective already change will go we were talking about when you come to a party or you get people you are weak and you do things what do people need because when you are in such a place and you don't know anyone then what do people how can you attract kiyaar aap se loog baat karein aap kaise party me jahaan sab strangers is uska a hissah bant sakti ho kyunki kuch groups ho tait kuch stars ho tait kuch powerful loog ho tait in fact let's say club me bhi agar aap jate ho to yhe kuch cool club kids ho tait h jinn kuch hr ladaka hr ladki hr

48:31what is the difference can they do something with body language where they attract people to talk or socially less awkward what can be done when a person goes into a club party so obviously now if they are little late so people have already formed groups they live in chunks now you need to figure out a group which is not very weak but not very powerful also so this is something that you need to figure out that which mixed group is your guess where you have two sidekicks and one of powerful people so that group is somewhere where you might get an opportunity to enter here people are wrong they go to the powerful people and go to the side or go to the side or do not do that so you figure out this group where there are two powerful people and others are like this Why do you not go to the week?

49:29No meaning to the week. Then you want to work on the things. It will not be helpful. So, that's one. Now, if you have 2-3 groups, which is a mixed group, you need to check people's feet. If all of your feet is pointing at one-two-three, it means it is a closed group. If your feet is open, there is a chance for anybody else to join in. So, when we go, So, when you come, our energy and time will be saved. So, this is what I tell people in networking. Because you can see, everyone is not ready for talking to you. So, if you look at the eyes and go, it will also be saved. Time will be saved and they will be able to know how to talk about it.

50:13So, it's very subtle decoding that people should do. Then, when you enter in the group, you need to enter with a very good strong eye contact and a genuine smile. Now this genuine smile is where there is a small little condition supply wala star. So people feel like a genuine smile in the name of the name of the person embarrassing smile because they are scared of fear. Where is this genuine smile? So this is where the inside out approach also comes. That you first know which thing you think is weak or you are insecure about that. so this is an assignment that I give to all my clients you should have come to counseling or childhood trauma everyone has this assignment must be okay, universal assignment yes, this is make a list of what are the things that you like in yourself physically what you don't like in yourself physically what you like in yourself mentally what you don't like in yourself mentally now, this thing will be a very good picture that I have what is what I am in now the thing the first thing when I saw and Ranjal was showing me the picture look so I said I am taned why physical insecurity because in childhood I was very upset with my hair it is now present so once you make a list if I think for example my Daat not the actor Joey King right that's a kissing booth maybe in that movie that's in that movie on Netflix okay now I saw this reel she still does not show her teeth so she is she is posing and she is smiling she doesn't see the teeth many actresses they see the teeth when they are smiling when they are saying they are very comfortable in front of camera now Joey King is not comfortable because 2019 was a photo viral in which she is doing this but her teeth is not visible so she was very good she was not a nose she was not a nose she was very good which is why she was closed to see her nose but now this does not come from now she will also say it in childhood so it just triggered the same thing so if I know that I can see a particular angle or maybe my neck is big or my hair is low, that insecurity will be on top when I go and meet the people I deemed as more powerful as more than me.

52:52So I think that they will see that my hair is big, they will not find me pretty because I don't find myself pretty. So that's why this assignment is a must assignment. And everyone's I don't like myself is long. For example, I use some words that are politically incorrect and will not be considered in our society. For example, every male knows that it is white. Every male knows that it is white. Every bad skin person knows that it is white. Every male knows that it is white. Because someone has already pointed it out. And in our eyes, it has already become bigger. So, when I think that I am not looking pretty, I will already be at a down level when I go to meet them but on the other hand if I feel these are my things that I don't like about myself can I change them if yes to change there are people who are into cosmetic surgery and all that totally their choice and if you can't then work on yourself thinking that you're actually a person who's worked on yourself and then you reach to the confidence level then you go and meet the person so that you feel okay now I've actually achieved something so you don't feel insecure about yourself

54:15so I'll always smile like I'll do that I'll never smile with my teeth on so these are the things very interesting this but again if I go in a party and I meet with people and I usually go to the most powerful group so that's the bad strategy which is great find that strategy now you have gone to a small group in clubs usually there are a lot of options that there are not many options because you probably went to a birthday party so you have a outsider you only know one and another one so what do you do you can make a little bit of a group because they are in a school or college and you feel that you are a outsider or less powerful or less privileged feeling because primarily most of the people think that they are inferior primarily this is the feeling so now what do we do in this club so we can't see feet because we are dancing or dancing or thousand are arrogant rich kids are awkward on the side on the side are just dancing and dancing and dancing and people are going to start and

55:49let's make it even better and you know that you weakest ho group me because everyone knows what their original position is if you are strongest you can put inside out that gives you confidence but when you know probably you are just here because you have called your and you have called you now what everyone else is okay this has happened with me when I was a kid that's why I'm asking in that case what we need to do is the first thing is which is really helpful for a human being is khana so just table pe khana rehta hai ya jaha pe khana ho or you can go and join waha pe ja karke this one way to hum like the old fashioned ho jayenge khana jaha mil raha moha jayenge or baih karke thoda sa charinge or uske baad ham loog baat karna shurru kareenge chit chat karna shurru kareenge ya toh drinks hai good trick ya haa So because that is one way to mingle where we don't have to focus on anything.

56:53How do you introduce yourself? If you have food, then. No. So wherever you have food, you have to sit around the area. Again, there was a study. I don't know details about details. I'll tell you. But wherever you have food, if you have to sit around the area, you are also considered to be more likable or desirable. Because you have to sit around the area. So it's a very subconscious effect that you give. Interesting. yes so now for example dinner time is going to be open or open the starters are going to open which way you will come if you are sitting there so food and your association will mix so you will also become a person who will be easily approachable at that point of time same thing happens with drinks as well yes yes the person who is the closest to drinks is sitting on the drinks or drinking or drinking he or she is able to make friends very easily comparatively to other people Yes.

57:48So that. Likeability. Wow. So I had noted points. Then another thing is starting with a compliment. Don't do this. Like you have done a good statement. I don't need a compliment on looks. That is exactly how a person needs to compliment. Don't compliment on someone's looks. Don't compliment on his way of talking. Personality. Anything. Character. Don't compliment on that. So that you get a little bit. And that doesn't have to be creepy. sound not like hey you're looking around it should like wow what a beautiful event did you plan this event and you will know that there is the planner then you are talking oh my friend told me that this event planner is very good so these are the small little tricks that we play tell 3-4 ideas how to compliment to a stranger now you know personality what you know you get Accessories.

58:45In the club. Accessories. Because. I have noticed that. Every accessories. There is a story behind. And we are a storyteller. By default. Especially Indians. So you will say. Hey nice watch. And. And if it will be a basic car. A normal Casio car. Then you will say. Hey I remember. You know. Wearing the same thing. To the school. Very very. It was very close to my heart. And then you will also. Hear a story from my end. Oh actually it's not mine. my father gifted this to me so there is a bond so accessories compliment but yes if a girl is then the girl who is commenting that is also important who should not do it okay the girl and the torso you should not do it here you should not do it not do it why like what like like a belt yes a nice necklace yes you can not do it Ideally there is no rule as such.

59:46But no one can do it. I am telling you the reason why not do it. So if you are looking at a woman and she is wearing this beautiful necklace. Now that necklace is pointing at cleavage. So it's a wow nice necklace. So what do you think? I am looking at cleavage. You think this. But you think thank you and she will die. Just direct body language is cut. Gesture point is different. Body point is different. But if you say those earrings are really very beautiful. I mean my I would love to give this to my sister on her laboratory. Oh how sweet okay I got this from you know I don't know the markets here but you will get a story.

1:00:24here from here why not because here are our very vital organs. So, when a person is uncomfortable, he hides first in areas. If I am uncomfortable, I will not drink water like this, I will be sitting here. I am forming a barrier between you and I. One thing that I can put on one hand is still holding both the hands. and India will relate to this that if they are going to a tuition or somewhere they will have their notebook they will have noticed if they are school or college they use it like this why? because this is a barrier so from here and because you know it's always happening but before it was a group of people so a girl had to go to save yourself so when a person man or a woman if they are uncomfortable the first thing they will do is create a barrier so one hand, two hand for example if you have ever been on a date and if your date is not comfortable she will probably put more things in between and if she wants to connect with you she will remove the things so if you want to connect with somebody empty the space you will do that because you don't feel connect so if there is no thing you feel the connect because there is no barrier subconsciously interesting interesting wow I also feel that when I compliment you this is my personal rule and because for the longest time I used to talk to one person a day every day just make communication skills better network better the best compliment you can give to someone for starting a conversation or just to build a deeper connection is to give them compliments on their taste and preference not on their looks wonderful so if you go to the party then people ask if you see a guy or a guy what a compliment i'm like whatever they are wearing or the color that they've chosen to wear you can compliment on that yes yes like the you can talk about maybe let's say if you love a certain color red and someone is wearing red you can compliment that how does she know or how does he know that red looks really good on them like it's a great choice like you have a great itch or like you have a you have a great knack for choosing the right color for your skin tone or for your body type you can just talk about this it's such an easy question I mean directly don't say this you can't say that your body type is good but I'm just telling you that how do you build it about taste if you want to make it good make it about what they've chosen the place where there are people with whom they have chosen their style or the clothes they have used to wear their colors or some accessories you said watch is very specific and you are into watch sneakers and shoes are very interesting way to start a conversation.

1:03:23So now you can start with taste and preference and then you can intellectualize in the conversation. Yes. And also in such events I feel a person should not be stuck with one person because you So, if you went there, you have different friends, connections, networking. So, what happens? Usually, when people go, they get stuck with one person. They're going to startters with them, they're going to drink with them. So, you don't have to do that. So, you're going to get out of that moment. There are many opportunities. So, at that point of time, it can also be possible that the person gets upset.

1:03:58So, you think, this is good, a good person, he'll get upset with them. So, you don't have to do that. So, my availability should be very limited. So this is also a thing that people should understand. If they are very much available, then initially, you will definitely be available for your close ones. But if you are more available for the unknown people, then you will not be valued. Respect is not going to be given. Absolutely. Agreed. Agreed? I think something I remember. Yes, a lot. I'll give you an example. There was a big client. and she so I am her therapist now this person has come to me and initially saw a query and the manager and then it reached to me at a final date where I met with her meeting so she said listen I want to work on this this and this I have already done work on this now this is not how I work and then I also thought that you're saying that I don't feel that you're healed enough I said that I'm here, obviously not said that because one term is I don't know if it's or not, I'm out of it toxic healing people think that he's healed but he's still toxic so you can see his body language they'll see a lot of talk I've attained everything I've got nirvana but I'm still toxic so now when I'm saying that I was thinking that I can't okay, it's possible, maybe you'll do something, but it's not good enough.

1:05:34Then I asked her, I don't think this will work. And we, no matter what, in the future, maybe after a year or two, we'll meet. Then she said, no, no, no, listen, I actually want to work on this. I said, okay, let's meet. Then she said, okay, we'll meet tomorrow. Then I thought, hmm, if I had spoken so soon, then she thought, no, no. I can't find a date now. It's a date of three months later. So, she said, three months, it's like a lot. I have to work on me. And three months is a lot. Can you please find out a date? So, I said, okay, I'll see. Maybe it'll be a date of two months later. And because she had waited for two months, her behavior was very good.

1:06:17Extremely good. Now she's receptive. Okay, let's listen to what she's saying. So, this is where I have, and this. You exalted power. I have built this over time because I have to come a lot and then I have to come a lot and then I have to come a lot and now I have to come a lot and I have to come out of this okay, go take it free go take it in a 500-Rupiah and take it in a session but I have to come a lot and then when I started I have to come in a condition I have to come in a lot I will give you another example first time I think almost a decade back I was connected to CISF which is the Central Industrial Security Force which is the airport Yeah.

1:06:55So, they said that the session should be in body language decoding or profiling. Now, I'm already well versed that who has hidden where to sleep on the body, I'll tell you. I'll train you so that you can find out who is doing smuggle, who has hidden somewhere somewhere, who is taking something like that. So, these things, I had learned, it's not very good but you can figure it. Okay. Now when I said this, I said that I have no money for my money. I have taught all this. How do I give this? I said, okay. I will give you a session for you. But you have to connect my headquarter. So I said, okay.

1:07:38And I have given condition. If you feel good, then. There was 4 hours of session. Where profiling, decoding, deception, detection. All I have taught. and then after that, then they connected me to Hyderabad. So when Hyderabad is Nisa, their headquarter, they called me there and then they said that you can come, you can't give money. I said okay, no matter what. I went on my own money. Next time, they really loved the session because they called for now until now. They called for the same sessions. If you are in the country, obviously they prefer their own. So next time, when they called for the same session, I said I can't come, I'll pay money.

1:08:19Then they paid. So now the thing is, why don't you do this all before? When you actually, take an online session, take a small thing. Why would you want to exploit a person's skill set? And it's not only government. In corporate, you will also have this thing. Everywhere. Yes. You will have to exhaust someone completely. And then you will feel, yes, okay, now come. So I don't like that. And that's why I have built this up. You don't be available too much. for a person. And similarly, a person who feels that they're less charismatic, if they are going there, if they are striking a conversation, it should not last more than 5 to 10 minutes.

1:08:58Then leave the group. Then do the other place. You are also learning a lot and you're also leaving. And you know, now you are also learning how to have the small talks. Interesting. Yeah. It's also

1:09:13Richard Wissman, doctor, his research was about feeling lucky that those people feel that they are very lucky and those people feel that there are many opportunities and all of them are good and they get better in life and they get better opportunities and they get better than they get better versus those people who don't feel so the same goes in when you go to a club or go to a conversation or go to an event and you feel that someone will say that someone will say why is it yes so anyone will say you reflect that subconsciously consciously consciously body language through cues you leave your cues where you reflect and where you don't have any interest.

1:09:51And then if you feel it's lucky and you're a big one, so automatically you do that. And their study that they had experimented randomly made two groups made. I don't know the groups he just did it. So many people first assessed which feel it's lucky in life and which feel it's unlucky. So, those who were unlucky and lucky, all of them gave me newspapers. After giving them, they told me that the whole newspaper has been counted on the images. So,

1:10:28those who were lucky, they had written on the second page. There was 42 numbers. There were 42 total images. There was information there. Those who were lucky, they had all the answers correctly. because they said that they are 42. Because the lucky people thought that they were lucky. They got a newspaper. They don't know the number. They don't need to read them. They read them and they told them. And they were actually 42. When all the newspapers on the second page were 42. But the unlucky people didn't believe. They thought that they would be a trick. And they counted all the pictures and they counted all the numbers.

1:11:08is wrong because they all count in the chakra. Someone has 41, someone has 43, someone has 27. Everyone has given their mind. So just like this explains a human behavior. Same information, same thing to both people but one feels that this is coming to me. Everything will be good with me. There will be good chances in my life. Versus there will not be good. And I find it very interesting. Yes, a similar study was done regarding a test. Where both of the group have said gaya, ek group ko bola gaya, bhoat easy questions hai, ek ko bola gaya, bhoat tough questions hai, to easy group jis ko bola gaya, easy questions hai, un logonhi jaldi jaldi question kar liya jis ko bola gaya tough hai, to un logonhi kari nai pa rai, same kind of questions hai, to woh it also comes back to a person ki humare biases kitnye, joh the assignment that I was talking about if you know what are the things that you don't like about yourself mentally, to mothlab I am very short tempered, or I am very lazy.

1:12:08So, these are all your blocks. You need to find this out that you will identify how to identify and how to remove it. So, it's not related to body language but I have noticed this. A person experiences on three levels. One is our mom and dad. One is when we become our parents. And when someone comes to us or adopts us, we become our parents. Now, in our society, most of the societies, Second and third level I don't understand So second is When you live on your own Okay Without your parents Okay That is experiencing So first is under parents Second is independent Third is My children Yes Okay Now The Most of the people They jump from first level To the third level They do live with themselves But there is no accountability So they stay with themselves But they will keep the house They will keep the house They will keep the house They will keep the house If they will eat for themselves order we will make or order we will do it we will not come we will not come we will not come we will not say we will not come so they live a very indisciplined life because accountability is not for themselves who was it now he is not he is living in a different city if I am going to live or I will live I will live in a very bad way and then they keep crying procrastinate I am lazy I am unorganized I am messy I am going to go in a toxic relationship because there is no accountability for yourself right and then they jump directly to the third level second G I so now my child is coming my whole life he doesn't do this he doesn't do this he doesn't do this he doesn't do this he's getting he's getting tired he doesn't sleep he keeps on sleeping he keeps on sleeping he keeps on sleeping on the phone he does this all so this is the second level that is a lot of need for a person if you are living by yourself and you get up in the morning and you said I hate going to gym but you still push yourself that is a sign that in future you will become a very good parent who doesn't want to be good with anyone how will it be good with anyone so people don't think about this and then they say parent is not for myself you don't want to be good for yourself how will it be good for anyone that's wow I never thought of it this way I do it because I do it because I am good for my work so this is why I never thought But see, but you have become who you are after constant struggle.

1:14:36Yeah. And this figuring out naam is not like that. Constantly figuring out. What can you do? Figuring out is a habit. Right. And this is a sign that okay, tomorrow that a junior Rajshamani will come to you as a parent. Which is like already in my genetic pool, I have done so much work and I will learn my child. Not just that you have to do good. the child will learn so many things from the father and maybe from the mother as well. So, people don't do this. Wow. You don't know. I don't want kids right now. At one point, I might. I don't want it. Yes, totally. I think I don't want it. But you never know.

1:15:19Never say never. Because what happens when you're in your life? True. I saw a funny reel. I was sharing with my boys men like four boys they say I will never marry and then they will marry thank god I don't have kids I never want to have kids and then they will marry and then they will talk babe we are never having second kid and then they are having second kid it's like a loop that what we say is everything that is not not not and then oh that was worth living like you don't know for example when we plan then I also have questions how can I become a better partner using my body language how can I become a good boyfriend or girlfriend or partner how can I become a good boyfriend or partner but above how do you talk to your partner.

1:16:25There are two emotions slash feelings that are in any relationship that is a shame to destroy any relationship. One is contempt. Second one is disgust. Contempt, I feel superior from my partner and I feel my partner is inferior to me. That is a, you can see the marriage. You can see it. One partner feels like the other partner is inferior or superior. Second is disgust. Where the feeling of the feeling of Yes. Where will it happen to you? This is what is disgusting. One feeling of hatred is not anger. It is disgust. Yes. And then you feel hatred for a person. Dislike. Active dislike. Now, two people who are with each other and one of them already is feeling that I am superior to this person.

1:17:19And on the other hand, there are many movies coming up. So, to tell you how I am better or how you are not better is a sign that you don't see that person as an equal. So, we tell indirectly, directly to the kids that your mother has studied arts. What happens in the arts? Nothing happens. You become an engineer. No, you become a housewife. So, this is your demeaning a person. Yeah. Because of what she has studied. How do we give the children to grow?

1:17:59Like this is a demeaning sentence. So the person, the man already thinks that he is at superior level. And then the opposite also happens. This is the disparity. So these two emotions destroy any relationship. And this is from these two doctors. Dr. Julie Gottman Dr. John Gottman The Gottmans They are one of the biggest in the world Yes And they have given this thing That you don't give these two feelings If there is a disagreement Then it should not be led by contempt Or disgust It should be solved actively How do we solve this? Now, by the way You don't take a lot of space When you are becoming angry So you take low power stance Just Amy Kadi, jisne, joh bhi bola Amy Kadi, nusko opposite karenge.

1:18:52If you're a lot of angst, then we don't do the voice. That's an active awareness. No, people are very quickly chid chidha jate. So, if my husband has said something and he hasn't brought it. So, I'll cry. Rather than saying that, hey, he said, he forgot again. What? He forgot again. It's also a pin-tripe. So, I said, he forgot again. This is a question. So, women should speak directly. And men should also try to understand. Now, women tell things very indirectly or they taunt a lot. Compare, when we do it, you will see more women taunting compared to men. Right? So, if you are coming home, you could also say, why do you come home so long?

1:19:38What does it mean? So, the way we are talking, that also happens, you don't mind talking to people in front of you. What do you do? You start like me, you don't talk to me. or if someone enters the room saying, make a tea that's very warm please make a tea for me he will make a happy but the way you're asking tone voice modulation has a lot of difference how are they talking like this I was doing a stand up comedy so I had to tell that I was telling that a girl's voice you know what is actually thinking so if she talks in high pitch she's very emotional and she's in it. And if she's speaking in low pitch, that means she is very reserved and powerful.

1:20:23So, I was saying that, if your aunt said that, she doesn't bring blood again, so that means, oh, okay. And if she said, she doesn't bring blood today, so that means, oh, there's something different. So, voice modulation has a difference. You know, so we'll play two, three videos. Yeah. World leaders. Yes, yes. So, world leaders, how do we interact with each other? how they hand shake they will see and tell me who is more dominating in that video this is Putin and Barack Obama who is more powerful? Putin Putin here? Yeah why? Look at how he is dangling the legs and he is taking more space on how he is sitting but he is still nervous in his hands, I am thinking what I am saying, how I am doing it's because of the language barrier No, language barrier.

1:21:14Okay. But Obama is also very calm. So Obama is not powerful but he's very himself. Like I'm secure. Yes, secure is the right word. Okay, next. Look how he's got it. Who's more powerful? Here, Donald. Donald Trump, right? Yes. Because he's facing directly and Putin is still at the angle. And he just, see, the rest of the world is normal. Yes. and the first Donald Trump he was like he was like yes absolutely next PM Modi and Putin this will meet with Garam Joshi so they are best friends Garam Joshi look at I love Putin's walk who dominated no Putin Putin yes so if I put my hand on the feet then come you're my child but he did it that was me led so that was a reaction that he said can you please repeat that again please and slow motion please do that so now and now you look at his eyes and then you see this so this was a forced if he did that then you will do that then this was the gesture so that was a forced gesture It's a different question.

1:22:39Okay. See. But I feel this like to me looks very friendly. It is a friendly gesture. Nobody's trying to dominate. Like when you, when you look at Donald Trump and them, you see that they're trying to exert power. Both. With both. Putin and PM Modi, both of them are trying to exert power. Yes. But here Putin and PM Modi, they're becoming friends. Yes. and oh wow this is very interesting but still you see this tap yes can you see how dead the other hand is the other hand is like so dead now they don't know Kim Jong-un what to do with him there was no movement in the other hand is what I am saying this means what is this?

1:23:36that means he is nervous that is a fight or flight so another one is frozen so another one is frozen so you feel this is frozen this is so loose because you don't see a congruency something is running and look at the smoke at Donald Trump's face no that's his baseline behavior he always stays with his face that's his baseline so contempt is his baseline behavior in superiority yes you feel Donald Trump body language is superiority yeah it's because how he has been his childhood if you get to know he has also been a pressured child pressured from the senior yes okay the last one oh I forgot about this what happened in this okay so can you please pause this so here the part we haven't seen that is also in the clip available the moment Zelensky comes to meet Donald Trump said that you don't need a suit so this was the first statement which was the reason that this was the same statement which was dominating so now I got the first time so you don't do it you thought that your height will be long you are small

1:25:11So, he is in the receiving end. He was in the receiving end. And both of them are just the same. But look at the hand posture. Now, Zelensky's side, which is Donald Trump's side, is a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit. So he wants to again, because I am at the receiving end, I will be able to shake my hand. And he tries to raise a lot of points to the point. And you will see in this entire video a lot of nose flares. Nose flare is a presence of passive aggression. I'm angry but I won't say anything. So I'll keep doing this. I feel like he just ignoring it and doesn't mean anything. Donald Trump has no interest.

1:25:56because he was thinking that if you want to help you stay in that mode you don't try to show arrogance but he didn't even listen to he was not in the mode to even listen so what did he do in this time in this time Zilinsky either had to pause the meeting or had to say I mean I'll pause it everyone comes to understanding that the interview is positive or negative either pause it or take a break or ask another question. These are some of the deflections. Got it. That people can do. Got it. Perfect. Now you have put my baseline. I noticed in the whole conversation. I want you to analyze me now. What did you analyze?

1:26:44What did you see in the whole conversation? I'm sitting, talking, talking. If you had to put out an analysis on me. I talked about this night. Okay. What do you say about my body language towards a guest or towards you? I'll give the other side of this also because I've also seen you grow. Okay. When, what was that? I think SP Jen from that time. Yeah. So, that time there was this boy who's trying to make it big and who's maybe trying to do, okay, I'll show confidence and I'll do something that people will do. That. So that zeal was very much present. That time you were also a person might be who was short tempered.

1:27:33Short temperedness was more often. Now that it was either reduced or it was a mask. So short temperedness is not shown. You have also become a very good listener which initially you were not. So initially you were like, okay, okay. Okay, okay. So initially there was this again which is struggling phase in which I can see that I have to make a mark, I have to define a personality. So when we live in that time and if we learn it, then our body language will be quiet. But if we don't learn it and we mask it on it, then we will make it. Then we will become fake. Yes, so in your own thing, there is no fake thing.

1:28:20now no. So when we were struggling, we were saying, okay, we can do this, we can do this. Some people can brand it, it's fake, some people can say it, it's a very struggle period, some people can say it, but now from the time when you started until now, you have become a very good listener, you have also become a very good hider, right, which doesn't like you, to mask it is something that you have learned very nicely. Yeah, so you also are an individual who is it's not playing safe but it's something like this is my this is my dairah I can speak here but I can't speak here so you are also very aware so these are all explaining last dairah like you said I don't think I agree with this so this is something where you feel no, I don't think I'm okay, so I'll say.

1:29:21But there are also some things that you didn't agree, but you didn't say anything to that. So now these are the parts where you feel, okay, maybe I need to study more here, maybe I don't have enough idea, so I'll not say that. So I'll go away from that. Because I'm not disturbing the value system. Yes. So your growth is related to body language. This is immense. Now, especially a person, who has invited in the podcast and lets other person speak. That is a very big, big thing. Jaha pe aapke paas bhi obviously kahi sare points hai. Jaha pe aapne points rakhe bhi aur points bharth respectfully rakhe.

1:30:03Similarly, Mitesh wala jo video tha, there also you were not agreeing to a lot of things. But you again put the point across in a very respectful manner. To aapke jitne bhi podcast hai, kahi pe bhi aisa nahi lagta non-verbally that you are being disrespectful. Some things will be edited but if you don't agree on the edit, it shows on your face but it is still not disrespectful. There is a difference between disagreement and disrespectful.

1:30:31So how much will I get you with the marks? 9. I always wanted to keep growth for growth. I was going to give 5 points, I gave 9 points, I gave 2 marks for a mistake and 7 points. but thank you so much thank you so much for coming here and sharing so many things and waiting till the extreme end yes it was pleasure having you it was lovely and i really want to do this again sometime. So tips for me is how to be good liar. No Raj, don't be a good one. I don't care how I look. Where are you? Zero. I don't care how my hair is. I don't care what you see, acne or not. I don't care what you see. Yeah I saw that wow no makeup this is good because then Even if you are a personal makeup artist and you put paper napkin and then you say okay fine what do we have?

1:31:38Just the camera feels uncomfortable in the face, that will correct me. For example, if you are looking sweat here because of heat, that will clean you so why do you feel uncomfortable? Yeah see that's it. And just like that I am in real life also. I don't care because I don't want, everybody want compliments. I don't want compliments on my looks, I want compliments on my brain. Thank you so much for watching this podcast till the end. Now you have to do three things. First of all, subscribe to this channel. Number two, tell us in the comments which guests are. And which topics you want to make a podcast.

1:32:15And that will be better help you. And you will get more value. And number three, this episode should be shared with someone. And in the life of a positive change. will help this podcast conversation after listening to this podcast life will help. Because one conversation is enough to change someone's life. I'll see you next time. Until then, keep figuring out.