Build a 100-Year Life: Blue Zones, Active Ageing & Health Span | Adarsh Narahari | FO479 Raj Shamani

14:30Raj Shamani:So it was again going to be from the lens of aging But I'll explain to you Politicians do five things with their life Without knowing that it is actually slowing down aging First is, they're physically active Rallying, this is what you want to get, you want to get They're physically active Movement is life True Number two, they're mentally stimulated at all times They're always thinking who's going to pull the rug under my feet who's going to beat me in the next election what's happening in which constituency so mentally faculties are always working three they have an insanely high sense of purpose when they wake up they want to be in power or they need to beat somebody so their purpose is very strong number four they're surrounded by people so they are always part of a community so this incidentally is exactly how people live in a blue zone incidentally if you now take this and say okay, now let me study what happens in a blue zone and for those of the people who are listening to this and don't know what a blue zone is there are these six places in the world where people live the longest health span wise it has the highest number of centurions who are fully independent not bedridden different genetic pools different food habits different cultural habits different weather conditions one thing is common that they live above 100.

15:53Raj Shamani:Sardina in Italy, Loma Linda in California, Okinawa in Japan, Ikaria in Greece, right? Some like these, these are the blue zones. And now, what was the common, commonality in the research, right? So we had this Japanese researcher write this book called Ikigai, which I'm sure many of you have read. So he identified these four common traits. He said, in all these places, people don't retire, they have a high sense of purpose. Two, he said people have a strong sense of community. People are surrounded by people. Family, friends, everybody. Third, he said that they're mentally active. Fourth, he said movement is part of their daily life.

16:34Raj Shamani:So physically active. But he had a fifth one which was that they're surrounded by nature. Now nature is tough to give in an urban setting. But those were the five common findings. And how far are we from becoming a blue zone? India is a very far thing. What do you think? What do you think about Singapore? I can tell you. And this is a research that Singapore has given that one goal is that we need to make people walk to work and walk to home. So if you see all the new infrastructure which is coming to Singapore everything is around increasing mobility and reducing cars and public transport. So we are looking more walking paths more parks more interconnected buildings so that people go

17:21Adarsh Narahari:and making cars super expensive licenses super expensive licenses

17:26Raj Shamani:very expensive

17:27Adarsh Narahari:permission to drive a car is another thing that they need to buy and making it expensive

17:31Raj Shamani:second they have created already daycare centers for elders so every large section of Singapore has this common like a clubhouse run by the government where elders just come and have fun and meet fellow elders that is the place of passion so if you go and visit any of these daycare centers in Singapore every day there's activities there's Tai Chi there is cards there is Sudoku there's Mahjong there's so much that goes on throughout the day people are coming together people are feeling validated and they're feeling that our man is this and physically active so this is what Singapore is already doing and they're working on quality of air like for them quality of air and quality of food is very important true So these are the things They have done And they are publishing data To say okay We will get How many centurions We have currently What is our target Of number of centurions By 2030 They have published All of this So it may be That Singapore Is the first major city In the world Which can become a blue zone Interesting So if you look At a typical day At Primus Of any of our People in our community We make sure That okay Say early morning They wake up There will be chair yoga There will be walking clubs Then there is breakfast breakfast is a community activity right then you will have some our events team will make sure that everyday the events are broken up as social entertainment physical and mental so if some election is going on say I have Maharashtra I have a child election so we would be doing stuff around okay you do your exit polls we will break our community into 2-3 groups and say you come back with our exit poll we have nothing to do with the politics but everybody goes they study they see what happened last three times everybody will vehemently explain why they think their view of exit polls is going to be what is going to happen.

19:20Raj Shamani:But our job of getting people together, making them use their mind, got done. Similarly, lunch is a community activity again. And then towards the evening, we have something around individual passions. Somebody may like to teach, somebody may like to cook, somebody may like to dance. So we make sure that people don't lose their passion. So that's how a day is designed like a blue zone.

19:42Adarsh Narahari:Interesting.

19:43Raj Shamani:And as far as we are concerned, we had two more which is not part of blue zone living which is right nutrition and preventive health both again we don't understand right like today if you and me are having lunch how many nutrients can you get you will have typically you will have aloo sabji or some other sabji depending on your diet and you will have roti or if you are south Indian you may have rice it's not ticking the boxes right but if you are in a community we'll make sure that every type of nutrition is taken care of and that has a huge impact on health span not lifespan I never solve for lifespan and the other one which is not doesn't come to us naturally is preventive health like I told you about the IDC philosophy IDC applies the invisible decline curve happens across everywhere across India and it happens to elders themselves without they also knowing that you know things are getting into a decline.

20:44Raj Shamani:So, at Primus, what we do is we have this internal measurement of health score. So, we have psychosocial markers, physiotherapy markers and blood markers. We combine these three to arrive at a health score of a person. I'll give you a simple example. A lot of your friends, parents must have got a knee replacement surgery. It will happen. I have reduced the chance of knee replacement by 80 % through physiotherapy. Because as soon as the person checks in, we are able to know how much weight they put on which leg, what is their bone density, how much is their muscle loss. And through physiotherapy, we reduce the chance of falling down and we make sure they don't need a knee replacement surgery.

21:27Raj Shamani:Now again, the stereotype of what we don't understand is, a lot of the parents feel very happy that, you know, my son sponsored it or I bought it or whatever, right? Nobody is asking, boss, why did I need to replace my knee? If you did 700 rupees a week physiotherapy for a few weeks, you'd never need a new knee. So like this, preventive health, you expand that. If I did once in two years a CT angio, I can put a cardiac score. If I did a once in six months oncology test, I would be able to put a oncology score on the person. So everything is, and because we manage people 24 bar 7, the underlying signs show up much earlier.

22:11Raj Shamani:so our teams are trained like I gave you an example of loss of memory our teams are trained so we wait in outside a formal ecosystem we wait for a fall and then we make the home safer grab our anti-skid tile but till the fall no no I will not fall now but the fall could have been reduced not by putting necessarily the anti-skid tile but through physiotherapy plus putting in a safer infrastructure so this preventive lens of taking care of health is where the invisible decline curve can be made visible to increase health span. Otherwise, what happens is we get into what I call DRS.

22:53Adarsh Narahari:What is DRS?

22:55Raj Shamani:Dependency risk spiral. So, the minute you start getting dependent, okay, now the nurse comes. So, the nurse will do everything. Next, you feel helpless to do anything. So, that becomes a spiral where dependency becomes the core ingredient. and then there is no community, there is no activity and there is no purpose. And after that, everybody is camping around to control the situation and frankly, nothing can be done. But everything can be done at 55, 60, 65 when everything is hunky-dory. And then people's wish of going whenever they have to meet their lord on their terms independently, actively on their feet is a reality.

23:34Raj Shamani:But we don't optimize for it because at the moment we don't understand aging.

23:39Adarsh Narahari:We don't understand anything which you said right now. Because it's difficult for a lot of people to understand it. We only act once there is some event. Before that, we don't understand any of the things which we just spoke about.

23:53Raj Shamani:It is counterintuitive. Everything that I'm talking about is counterintuitive. I also made the same mistakes. I will tell you the biggest mistake I made is I gave my mother a driver. It's my fault. Because when I came back from my education, I was under this notion that I'm a good kid. And my idea of a good kid, back then I never studied aging. My idea of a good kid is to give comfort to my parents. I'll give you driver, I'll give you cook, I'll give you this, I'll give you that ABCD. And my mom has now become dependent. Without the driver, she can't go around. And I'm, that was many, many, many years ago, but I feel stupid about it.

24:31Raj Shamani:And even now I see so many of my own friends do it. And now I fight with them saying, boss, please don't put your parents on this It's a DRS system. What's the problem? So it's very simple, right? Like I told you, independence is the highest form of being for our elders. The minute we take away agency and independence, then the two, three steps of decline is very evident. Step one of decline is loss of confidence. Oh, I can't drive anymore. So I can't go. I can't do this thing. Now because I can't drive, I can't cook. Because I can't cook, I can't do this other thing. Second one After loss of confidence Is loss of ability to take decision Because now other people are taking your decision Your kids are taking decision Your spouse is taking decision Your siblings are taking your decision The third and most dangerous one Is loss of relevance That's the invisible decline curve Third you feel I am not useful I will depend on these people Because now I was useful Someday now I am not useful anymore So this has to be controlled and stopped.

25:39Raj Shamani:Yeah. So it's our duty as loving kids, as people in the society to make sure that the people we love, we give them the most valuable thing, independence. Let them drive a car. It's great for memory. It is great for physically to keep your entire well-being going. It's a little bit of stress, but overall it has a positive impact on health. So we should never, in the idea of, in the misguided idea of love, we should not land up making parents into patients

26:10Adarsh Narahari:interesting that's but isn't it that after one point because they are a little old so we should put this support system all over because then it's better only from the point of view it probably now they can't drive actively so the chances of them may be taking a wrong turn or breaking a signal or maybe just bumping into someone is higher.

26:40Raj Shamani:Well, some of that is true. Because cognitive abilities can decrease one point. So, you'd be surprised that if you didn't stop it, that would go on for much longer. Let's say somebody used to walk one kilometer a day. People start telling them, Abhi, you're 70. You please walk only 500 meters. Don't walk one kilometer. But if nobody told that to people and they continue to walk one kilometer, you'll be surprised that they will walk for a long long time so it's our idea that this is how it is going to be and I'll give you one more example when COVID happened I'm sure that a lot of us didn't see elders in our own family for a while maybe a couple of years did you face that that two years you didn't see some of the elders around your family no no

27:24Adarsh Narahari:I live in a joint family so very different so let's assume

27:28Raj Shamani:there was somebody like that now at the end of two years you would come back and you would meet these people after two years. You would notice that certain people have not aged a single day. Certain bunch of people have aged 10 years in two years. Agree? Yeah. Now you go back to what I told you about the living in a blue zone. And then now you start to see if that makes sense. Hey, were these guys physically active? Were they fully retired and doing nothing else other than forwarding WhatsApp and watching TV? Did they have a purpose? Were they mentally active? Did they have friends? Did they find reasons to talk, okay in COVID you couldn't step out but you still find ways to be in touch with people.

28:06Raj Shamani:If they did some of these very simple things, that itself would make sure people don't age. Otherwise, how are you going to explain to me that two people who are 70 look, feel and act so different from each other? Just high agency. That's the difference? High agency is the North Star. There are a bunch of sub things that are equally important because if you have high agency automatically you have drive to achieve agency so then movement is part of your life mental activity is part of your life people are part of your life again the same thing I keep going back giving a nurse is done with great love and affection no question but there is no mental stimulation with a nurse somebody who's

28:51Adarsh Narahari:elder is alone should come there no not alone

28:57Raj Shamani:98 % of all my sales are husband and wife families

29:00Adarsh Narahari:there is no what my point was like as parents like they're just empty nest is it post empty nest so that's also

29:09Raj Shamani:there are people whose children are not living with them so we have kind of three categories of customers are the most common categories of course parents who are here husband and wife and the children are in different parts of India and the world that's one category the second category is what I call weekenders they live in joint families five days a week they live with us two days they go back to their families. So that my old ecosystem my grandkids are there I want to spend time with them. But 5 days I want to have fun. I don't want to only be a nanny. It is a fancy apartment 100 % fancy apartment with fancy services.

29:45Raj Shamani:Got it. If I have to break it down It's not like an old age home. Oh no no no old age home is not a for choice option. Ours is very much for choice. So there's a fundamental difference between what we do and what an old age home represents. So that's what we do in senior living. So within the home again, the home has little more health technology. Like for example, we'll have false sensors. We'll have, we have built a skill on top of Alexa that becomes a medical reminder that acts as a concierge. We have tied up with this heart ring. So this API, we pull data around health. We have under mattress sensors.

30:19Raj Shamani:We have sensors that are, that sit in the toilet that can tell us if there's UTI, if there is right levels of hydration. So the job of the home, like I told you, is to be passively monitoring health. We are not going under the needle. I try to test people, right? It needs to make sure that if something is going wrong, we get to know that early without being invasive. And that's the job of the house. So, and even if they fall down, you know, they should not get hurt. For example, we will not find sharp edges. Like you will not find any furniture in my projects that look like this. You will not find chairs that have harder edges.

30:56Raj Shamani:So we just take care of the smaller things. It's very much a hospitality business Along with preventive health Nice That's essentially How much is a house there? It's like any house Which city? We are headquartered in Bangalore We have projects in Bombay, Calcutta, Channay, Hyderabad Shortly we'll be launching in Pune too So these are the current cities So that's your Bombay project Our Bombay project is in Thane

31:19Adarsh Narahari:Okay, so Thane is a building

31:21Raj Shamani:So in Bombay we have done multi-generation housing So Dosti has this township in Thane. First explain the site and then we'll come back. So let's say there's one house,

31:32Adarsh Narahari:senior living. Okay. So in senior living, there's this house, one apartment, which is, and you have two BHK, three BHK, one BHK. What is it?

31:39Raj Shamani:Yeah. Typically two and three BHKs. Very few one BHKs. Okay. So two and three BHKs.

31:45Adarsh Narahari:What's the price for a typical two, three BHK?

31:47Raj Shamani:Similar to any residential home. So for example, if it is a Bangalore, if homes in and around this location are at one and a half crores, maybe we'll be at one point six crores. Little higher because we put in a lot more into the home and into the common areas.

32:00Adarsh Narahari:So let's say a 3BHK would cost you 2 crores? Say 2 crores, yes. So 2 crores of a 3BHK plus what is the charges for everything that you must be providing, right?

32:10Raj Shamani:So what we do on a monthly basis is we do, like I told you, food, health, housekeeping, common area maintenance, events and concierge. everything included we are at 35 ,000 rupees per couple per month today and our model is cost plus 20 % open book basis because our goal is to be transparent with our customers so every elder in every community of mine knows how much is my doctor being paid to how much is the mali being paid to how much is the liter of food today

32:42Adarsh Narahari:so it's a 2 crore plus 35 ,000 rent per month

32:46Raj Shamani:not rent it's the cost of services so even if you are in your own house you have to pay for stuff so it mimics living in your own house but you get guaranteed services.

32:54Adarsh Narahari:Got it.

32:55Raj Shamani:And you don't have the hassle of dealing with your maid and cook and all of those.

32:58Adarsh Narahari:Everything's been taken care of.

32:59Raj Shamani:So everything gets taken care of. So you can focus on the things you love. Sabka, they had a bucket list. Every customer of mine has a bucket list. Our job is to help them convert that bucket list into an actual thing that they execute. Nice. And then any other charges? Apart from this? No, these are the only charges. This is what we call senior living. Okay. So you buy a home. This home works like a real estate asset. You can rent it, you can bequeath it, you can sell it. Only the occupant has to be above 55. Ownership can be with anybody. Then there is a service layer on top which makes sure that the blue zone living is applicable.

33:36Raj Shamani:That is typically food is optional. So if you remove food it's around 15 to 20 ,000 per unit for the rest of the services. Food will be around 6-7 ,000 rupees per person per month depending on the number of people that consume. So that is one of the things that we do. So we started from Bangalore And then we launched subsequently In Calcutta and Bombay And as we went from south to north We realized Some of the people started to think That this is a Hridashram The second thing we also realized is We had a ton of children Saying listen We all live in joint families But now we want to be near each other But we don't want to be in the same house And this was being led by the women of the house Because the guy Somehow gets to live With his parents But the lady In the traditional Indian conditioning Doesn't get to live With parents So she wants to also Live nearby With her parents So we pioneered This concept called Multi-generation housing Where we plug Senior living Into larger projects We have There are like 20-30 towers In the overall project It's called Dosti West County One of the towers Is Primus Dosti Okay Now The Primus Dosti Attracts the parents and the in-laws, so to speak.

34:51Raj Shamani:And the kids and the grandkids can live in the next door tower. So we'll be together and be together. And the layer of service that we give can be opened out to the whole community. So our events team now curates grandparent, grandkid activities, father, son, mother, daughter, father, in-law, mother. So we are bringing families together. At the same time, we're giving them the independence to live their own life. And this is what I call nuclear joint family. and we are seeing huge uptake of this across the country that people love the idea that we are with our parents at the same time we both get our own space and you will be surprised parents and elders want this a lot of them are saying listen boss my job is not to be a nanny I brought up these two kids I am not going to bring up four more kids I want to travel I want to have fun I want to chill

35:41Adarsh Narahari:Interesting and how much is the cost for this?

35:44Raj Shamani:Same the cost wise it's the same it's just the way it is structured is it's part of a larger project or it's a standalone

35:50Adarsh Narahari:and is it only to buy or people can rent it as well

35:52Raj Shamani:it's right now we are only to buy but that is something that we would be looking at as of course as interest rates have to come down for it to be viable whenever that happens we will probably look at rent but for now we are for sale community

36:05Adarsh Narahari:nice very interesting so these are like the basic two things okay but let's let's understand that was the idea why was it

36:16Raj Shamani:So it's an accidental business I never started it thinking that It looks like you're from like a real estate background Because it just gives me a sense Is it? Somewhat true Okay So what happened is that We I think it was 2010 When I came back from my studies And I'm from Bangalore And our idea of success in our families Is education and when we are well educated what we tend to do is we tend to move to the US that was the idea of success for my grandmother and my grandmother's siblings incidentally she had 11 siblings and my dad is a first gen entrepreneur but he started after his 40s and because him and mom struggled I was brought up by my grandparents so I actually spent a lot of time with them and then when I came back like you mentioned there was a time that I was dabbling with regular real estate.

37:15Raj Shamani:While that was good to buy shiny things, somehow I never felt a sense of satisfaction in doing it, right? And I used to share everything with my grandmother. And she used to call me Put Papa in the local language that means small baby. So one day she called me to her room. She said, Put Papa, buy, come here. And she said, hey, listen, all of my sisters are saying that their kids are asking them to move to the US because there's something special there for old people called retirement housing. Anyway, you don't seem to be enjoying what you're doing. Why don't you do something for my sisters? So that was my trigger.

37:53Raj Shamani:That's when I came back and I didn't know better. This was the year 2014. I googled old age, home America. Who knew what is senior living? It was not a word in my mind back then. And I found it quite fascinating. So I took a sabbatical from work. I traveled to the US. For about 25 nights, I stayed in different communities in the US. so there's this community called Shell Point which is 1800 acres one project so I spent a few nights there then I went to Connecticut where all the retired investment bankers are there I spent time there then I flew to LA where there's a community by Belmont where all the retired Hollywood stars are living it's on Rodeo Drive so then I'm like okay these are like highly successful people very wealthy they have all the affordability to have any number of servants and help they choose to be part of a community because they've realized that that's what makes them happy Having three servants Isn't going to Make them feel good So then After that I felt This is not going to be in India Because land value is low It's all spread out We need something That's like congested Like India So I said Let me go to Japan So I flew to Japan I spent some time understanding I remember Very clearly meeting A hundred year old lady Who stayed on the hundredth floor So we had like Hundredth floor buildings In Japan Small homes Family value system Very very Japanese thing Then I went to Australia And that's how I came back and I started Primus.

39:13Raj Shamani:I said, let me do one and make my grandmother proud and I'll take care of her sisters. So, three of her sisters actually lived with me, you know, until their last day. So, that was my motivation. I never thought that this could be a business. So, we did the first one. Obviously, anything new takes a lot of time. I still remember we finished the whole building. I had taken a huge loan to finish that building. And we were like 30 % sold. Like, just to give you an example, if you are a typical real estate developer, by the time you are done, you're sold. You are not taking any financial risk. And all of the people in my ecosystem, including my banker, said, boss, do your apartments.

39:49Raj Shamani:Otherwise, this company is going to go belly up. I said, boss, let me start my services. Because I have seen with my eyes what is the value of the service. This is not a real estate play. Right? It's a hard core hospitality and healthcare play. Real estate is very incidental to the business. So, luckily, six months from the day that we started, we sold out. And then after that COVID happened COVID did a lot of the sales And education And marketing That I couldn't do It started to show Every family The importance of Making sure That their elders It showed elders That listen I need to be Relying on myself And nobody else So that And a whole bunch Of other factors In terms of Where India is going Kids becoming Financially independent So when kids Became financially independent They are like Listen we don't want your money We don't want your house Please enjoy your life we want you to be happy now parents started thinking my kid doesn't want my money good let me spend my money and have fun the women started feeling that you know what I also want to have fun now I have brought up my kids I have taken care of my husband and I have felt not seen and heard I need to be in a place where I am seen and heard so these were all the underlying emotions all of this is coming together

41:04Adarsh Narahari:but in India

41:05Raj Shamani:I am doing 3 ,500 homes in 6 cities as we speak

41:08Adarsh Narahari:India in India there are two types of parents two types of kids and families I would just put it in this way the first is that you live with your parents and the second is that you live in a different country or in a different country these are two different cases in both ways there is a strong thing which is guilt India has this massive guilt because our idea from childhood is that we have to live with our parents because we have seen him and also our father-in-law who are different from their parents and leave them in another house or leave them alone they are not considered good kids that's a traditional value of Indian house right that if you have not kept your parents with you then this is wrong

41:59Adarsh Narahari:it's great that you can stay with 4-5 people 7-10 people in the family goes on but somewhere it's also probably the daughter-in-law is not able to accommodate with parents or maybe the son is not ready to now take responsibility of parents like old age whatever xyz reason and things are going downhill still they don't leave because the guilt is massive you can't look yourself in the mirror or maybe you can't be in the society because you're right and then there's a third category which is like mad done almost like it's like you're pushing away your parents and then you leave them in like old age homes and stuff like that right these three type categories major loyalty but level of guilt don't you see that happening so let me it's not like US UK

43:00let me answer

43:01Raj Shamani:your question with another question I think India was a society of arranged marriages correct you agree now tell me where are the arranged marriages I think there was a time large majority I'm talking upper middle class India may not be in upper middle class India may be in

43:22Adarsh Narahari:There is a large significant portion which has shifted to our love marriages.

43:29Raj Shamani:But a large majority, even in upper middle lives. So still there is a large number of people who are choosing to get married by love. And they're not being judged harshly by society for choosing love. True.

43:40Adarsh Narahari:That judgment is gone.

43:42Raj Shamani:That judgment is gone. So the winner there was convenience and the winner there was a new norm. Let me give you another example. Many years ago A person would be embarrassed To be seen in an IVF center Or to be seen in one of these Such a place Yeah I think today If you cross any street You will see two IVF centers And hundreds of people Going in and out Nobody is feeling a sense of shame Or guilt That IVF is a child Right So what changed? It's the same metamorphosis That is happening in senior living Now people are getting into the understanding That this is not a vridhashtram not. It is a lifestyle choice.

44:21Raj Shamani:This is a place I will make new friends. This is a place where everything will happen at the touch of a button and this is a place where I will actually feel younger and I will be made to feel important. That is one huge change that we are seeing from elders in India right now. The second change, equally important, is kids are understanding that proximity is not equal to competence. Proximity is not equal to love. and more often than not, people are emotionally reacting than clinically reacting to solutions when things go wrong. So, we have seen many cases where relationships are better because of this space.

45:03Raj Shamani:Being in a joint family doesn't mean meaningful conversations. Always. So, the kids also feel like this is something that they are doing which is good for their parents. That is changing. It is going to take some time. It's not with everybody. but now it's happening because the parents are realizing also that I'm having more fun here and then the kids are encouraging it because they're saying financial freedom both of us have financial freedom and then you are feeling younger, happier, fitter and when we spend time this time will be meaningful just for the sake of society we're not going to live together and not spend meaningful time but tell me

45:41Adarsh Narahari:be honest do you see this trend more in west and south and more in let's say upper middle class job going crowd do you see this like are you seeing that there more because I would think otherwise north and center where business societies and business crowds there will not be a trend there would still be a guilt and shame associated with it

46:09Raj Shamani:so when I look at my data it is directly proportionate to education level of my elder decision maker my elder okay my gen ev person if I just put a filter tell me the education level if they are graduate and above and greater than the age of 60 the chance that they will choose senior living is extremely high now what is the reason we are not a real estate developer we don't tell you that you have a scheme you will give gold we don't do any of those things we give content on how aging can slow down just like I have explained to you there is a ton of material out there that people can consume and understand that this is a solution to increase agency and be fitter and happier.

46:56Raj Shamani:So when they consume that, they inquire coming in and meeting us fully educated. So which is why and in back in those days, incidentally, South Indian elders were more educated, incidentally, on a population level. So that's why the demand is higher in South India. This is my assessment. I may be totally wrong. And that is why the uptake and acceptance of this is much stronger. Answering your second question, the kinds of people who buy it are multifaceted, but primarily educated upper middle class Indians who retired from very high positions is the large bucket. Then you have a bunch of business families, but not from certain communities, like certain communities associate joint family.

47:39Raj Shamani:Again, I have another thing here that I think in joint businesses, we confuse love with control. I think love is control. So the reason that people choose to manage may not necessarily only be out of love. But we cater to the happy family who's educated, who wants to improve relationship, but who wants convenience. And they know that they can't get that convenience in the current way that they live. Because most of my customers are living in these big, big bungalows in old parts of cities, which are getting old and being painful to maintain. And more than anything, it's just the two people are living by themselves.

48:22Raj Shamani:What do you do? The problem is that you have a big house, you have all the servants. Like would you like to retire in an island, some 100-acre island in the middle of nowhere and be by yourself with a thousand servants? No way. Nobody wants that.

48:36Adarsh Narahari:I don't want that today also.

48:37Raj Shamani:Forget when I'm old. No, you may be willing to do it for a week today. When you're old, even one week, you'll not be willing to do it. True. because what we all seek is that relevance is that somebody makes us feel good for who we are and we feel seen and heard which is the key missing piece today as we age because we have been conditioned by Bollywood conditioned by so many stereotypes that this is how it's supposed to be you see an elderly person you touch their feet that's your job it ends there

49:03Adarsh Narahari:but people come to you like this hey my this

49:11this

49:11Adarsh Narahari:this this this this this we are willing to pay anything

49:16Raj Shamani:do people come like that though nobody has come like that so 98 % 98 not 1 or 2 98 % of my sales are self funded by my elder themselves the kids job is to google chat GPT company kosher so let's go Okay, Papa, Mama, I've checked them out. They're not a bad company. You can go ahead. That's the role of the kid. The parent is insanely proud. Nice. Just now I was reading some post that said that Mark Cuban's father doesn't allow him to pay any bill.

49:53Adarsh Narahari:Yeah, I read this. Just now I was sitting in the store, you know, outside.

49:57Raj Shamani:And then I'm like, this is perfect. This is exactly how my Indians, I put that up. This is exactly how my Indians and Indian elders behave. You must have seen Indian elders will not take money from their kids. But the other way is not true. kids will take money from their parents. So they are very proud. They are very proud. They are very educated. They are very particular. You know, I want to give you an interesting statistic. Again, very counterintuitive. Who do you think statistically, don't hold me to anything else, who do you think is more likely to be a better caregiver for parents? A son or a daughter?

50:31Adarsh Narahari:I think daughters.

50:32Raj Shamani:Absolutely. Right? And India is seeing either we have wrong things happening with a girl child. Yeah. But I can tell you from data, I track who calls, son or daughter, who initiates, who follows up with my team, who makes how many calls to their parents. It's always the daughter. The daughter is the primary caregiver. In many cases, the daughter-in-law is the primary caregiver. So the son and the males are actually not the primary caregiver. And I don't think many people know this. They think that if I get son, the son is going to take care of me. statistically the daughter is more likely to take care of you.

51:10Adarsh Narahari:Absolutely. Agreed. I've seen this statistically and anecdotal evidence at the same time.

51:15Raj Shamani:But I don't think this is something that India is aware at an India level. Now I think that

51:19Adarsh Narahari:the girl will do something. No, no, no. This is true. In fact, I was reading some very brief stat or research. I don't remember exact thing but there was a line which was fascinating which I loved. It said that if if you have a daughter and your son and both have a good level, daughter is more likely to share her wealth with the parents than the son. And I don't know the reason. I don't know why. But I think this is pretty Yeah.

51:48Raj Shamani:Even when there is a son and a daughter and both the children are not in the same country we know who's visiting how many times from that country. It's always the daughter. Always the daughter. It's incredible how much wrong we have got this about what daughters and sons do.

52:04Adarsh Narahari:Yeah. You know should I so I should tell you a crazy stat about abuse tell me you know so elderly abuse is a big thing especially in a country like India right or in fact it's been calling it's been called as like a hidden epidemic who do you think abuses the most I'm guessing the son son, daughter-in-law and daughter what do you think? maybe son followed by daughter-in-law if I have to take a guess I have zero idea so if you don't have the data 52 to 64 % son's abuse

52:50Raj Shamani:is it over money? what? is it over money?

52:53Adarsh Narahari:different cases verbal abuse is the highest then it comes down to disrespect then it comes down to physical abuse with financial abuse and then physical abuse so these are like categories highest if parents give a insult or kill them it's so contradictory son is the highest that's 52 % that's first followed by daughter-in-law 34 % followed by daughter which is under

53:28Raj Shamani:20 % I have a solution for this but of course it needs the government to act right today why is that the elders of this country have lesser negotiating power in their house why do you agree with me that most elders are sitting on a house that is fully debt free but they don't have an active source of income for monthly money so they are sitting on this beautiful asset that they can't liquidate but monthly monthly they are depending on somebody else for the money could be kids could be whoever else and this I am not talking about our customers I am talking about aging and children if the government came up with a scheme right now reverse mortgage is very poorly thought through there are thousand issues with it but if they came up with a good quality reverse mortgage scheme that at the press of a button in an app I can liquidate my house and I can be rich again imagine the power equation that changes in the country just think that somebody is abusing and the father or the mother will say listen dude you know screw you I am selling this house and I don't need you to give me this shit now tell you how that equation this is needed it is very badly needed to bring dignity to our elders in this country and I hope that somebody takes note of this and people work on putting power back in the hands of the people who worked hard and created a debt free house it's their debt free house true yeah true do it now you should do it you are I am active every banker I meet every person I meet I keep telling them that listen, there is a social angle to this and there's a great financial angle to it.

55:02Raj Shamani:If there is a house that is being built and your concern is state laws, tenancy, etc., etc., we can do a try party. We can find an intermediary. We can find a housing provider like ours where our house, for example, could become tomorrow's security guarantee and this old house continues to go back to the kid. Or there are very many ways in which you can look at it. today there are some fundamental disconnects in terms of the value you can get in terms of who can occupy it and in terms of the LTVs. So everybody I meet in this ecosystem I tell them was at least from a lens of giving dignity to Indian elders who by the way are about 15 crores today and by 2050 I think India will have 35 crores elders.

55:43Raj Shamani:347 million above. Yeah 347 million which will be the highest cohort of population in the world. Our politicians are not telling you this right. By 2041 as different buckets of aging elders are going to be the biggest bucket yeah so we have to solve for all of this we have to solve for reverse mortgage we have to solve for GST on services we have to solve for insurance and health for our elders whenever you do it

56:07Adarsh Narahari:you tell me I'll love to be part of it in any way

56:11Raj Shamani:if truly we love our parents we will let them be independent and we let them be with people not with us competence and love have no connection to each other we have all the love in the world we may not be the most competent people.

56:25Adarsh Narahari:Why has it become like this? Why do kids of even today who are well educated and doing a lot of things the moment you tell me that you're going to take my parent away from me and put them in a better place with like-minded people so that they're happier traveling, chilling, having fun like it sounds like a lot of fun still my first thought is always going to be shit am I doing something wrong? Am I a bad son? am I like did I not keep my parents happy why am I doing why am I sending him sending them away from me so first is if I do it then there's a lot of guilt second if they do it by themselves where my father or my mother is like hey you know what we want to enough with you we want to have fun and there's nothing with love or hate relationship right it's just we love you but we want to enjoy a relaxed life as well and they said that they want to go my first thought is going to be I'm going to be very insecure I'm going to be very like I'll start doubting myself I'm like I'm such a horrible son what did I do wrong am I doing something invisibly which I don't understand that's going to be the first level of thought before I understand what you're trying to say why is it like that like why have we become why have we I'm sure there are thousands of kids watching this they're going to agree to me agree with me at this point

57:42Raj Shamani:why am I conditioned like that it's because of Bollywood it's because of the world who have made movies that showcase how Indians are supposed to live when probably the reality on the ground in terms of what is good for us is very different.

58:00Adarsh Narahari:But it's not just Bollywood. If you look at ancient way of living, we all have been living together. It's very large joint families, community living. We are a community driven society.

58:10Raj Shamani:The real question is in today's practical world where youngsters have aspirations and goals, is that a realistic possibility? today what kids land up doing is they cover guilt with money right so okay I'll buy you some new iPhone I will buy you this car or I'll buy you whatever ABCD so you're covering your guilt with money you're not taking a decision in the larger interest it's only because of lack of information it's not lack of love there is tremendous amount of love it is pure lack of information in this social conditioning that no India is supposed to be a joint family I'm not a joint family India is supposed to be a joint family But still there is this notion because people haven't understood that we are doing wrong to the people that we love.

58:57Raj Shamani:Unintendedly.

58:58Adarsh Narahari:Why do kids try to overcompensate their guilt or try to reduce their guilt by giving parents money, not time? Because they can't give time and they're not able to spend time with their parents. they try to overcompensate it by giving them a lot of money buying them gifts planning vacations stuff like that but they can't do it. So they are reducing guilt

59:24Raj Shamani:by giving money. 100 % it's about reducing guilt and it's what you can give at that time right and also today people don't have time. People have their own kids they have their own spouses both the husband and wife have their own parents plus they have their kid and they have work pressure so it's practically tough it's the only thing that they can do with an outcome is to give money. Everything else is an outcome they can't achieve. It's good to have. So which is why they double down on that. We have had so many cases. My own friends, when they come down, they land up making, putting their parents on the DRS system.

1:00:00Raj Shamani:Because I had a friend, Karthik. He was here a couple of years ago. And when he visited from the US, he bought a car, he got a driver, he got a cook, he got a maid, he got some three more housekeeping staff and a nurse. Two years later, his parent is you know having Parkinson's now and he was very angry with me that time now he said yeah I should have listened to you that day I said don't do it it's the worst thing you're doing please don't do it but that's him overcompensating on the guilt I've been in US for so many years so and this we do it and we regret it later we regret it at the time in which nothing can be done funnily enough even the elders themselves do it they wait for a trigger event for either the husband or the wife.

1:00:44Raj Shamani:Somebody will fall down. Somebody will develop a medical condition. Somebody's underlying disease will show up. And then they're like, now I have to do something. But just think, if you caught diabetes early, if you caught hypertension early, if you caught loss of muscle early, everything can be slowed down. Everything can be cured. You just have to catch it early. To catch it early, you need to be in an environment where people are trained to catch things early. That's the real difference. that's the whole health span living versus lifespan living even now we love to say hey long age 100 years 90 years okay boss how many years was he connected to tubes nobody is asking that

1:01:25Adarsh Narahari:if someone sees a parent or a child he wants to make a health span and they live up to 100 years how can they do it

1:01:35Raj Shamani:great question very very simple everyday habits we can do Step by step First thing, retirement Please don't allow them to retire from doing things Retirement is the biggest disease So first, if your parents are retired Please find what they love to do And get them to be part of whatever they love to do I love to sing, I love to dance, I love to teach Whatever may be they love But most important number one thing is you need to help them find a reason to wake up every day. That's the word Ikki Gai. Okay. So why don't you retire?

1:02:19Adarsh Narahari:Isn't it the idea that you're doing so much work? You should chill in life and retire. Yes.

1:02:24Raj Shamani:So we think that if we don't have anything, we'll chill in life. It's good. But when we chill in life, our health without realizing deteriorates. always deteriorate because we will not do anything we are not using our mind our body if we have to do something then we will have to go to do something and there are 10 people who are with us so there are 10 people who are watching us that this group has a job there is a walking group always in a walking group one person decides where do we drink coffee one person decides we will go to the holiday so everyone has a role in that group if you have left that group or left that person and left the house what will happen to you it's pretty so we keep it so the first thing is you request parents please go go to something but something the whole idea you are killing

1:03:25Adarsh Narahari:the whole idea is that we are so that my father will retire retire.

1:03:33Raj Shamani:That's the worst thing. Indian dream. Worst thing. The Rajarani only should be in thought process. Life should be outside the house. So the first thing is that, don't retire and go out of the house. Whatever you enjoy, but do something every day. The second thing is to grow friends or family circle. Because when we live with people, research has proven that aging is slow down. The people who live with people, they live a lot longer. They live much longer.

1:04:17Adarsh Narahari:But tell me, have you heard of the social emotional selectivity theory? No. Okay, so it's like, just as we age are getting more people than people. We are interested that we have some friends, some people, some people, who have a deep relationship. We don't get 500 people or 50 people, have a lot of friends. It's just a selectivity theory. The brain can filter that I like, I will spend more time rather than 10 people. don't you think that plays out and then my parents themselves do this why are you my friends why are you 4 new party why are you sending me 4 new places I just want to be with my people my friends my family members

1:05:10Raj Shamani:what you have told me my people what are 5-10 people my people just that's it everyone needs to be a micro group which is outside the immediate family of son daughter and spouse

1:05:26Adarsh Narahari:similar minded people

1:05:28Raj Shamani:doesn't have to be similar minded my work is in this group this is my person my people so everyone has a micro group in that micro group you have a role never to leave that role you will be 15 core friends you have a role in those 10 people we always ask this problem we always ask this Everybody has a role So this role That independence We should never take it away From our parents So first thing is Don't allow them to retire Second thing is Please make sure That your father With friends Family Who is Out of the house Yeah Third Physical activity Is doing anything Physical activity Because this blue zone If you go back to that in every blue zone there are steps and there are uneven terrain many people are farming so physical activities are part of life and anywhere you read movement is life so movement please encourage parents keep your plate you go and keep servant not going to even small things like this small things instead of saying I do Please ask Can I help you Do it Not I will do it I am helping you But I am here But you do So You don't do parents Independent Don't do that Don't do that Don't do that That's third That's third Fourth one The physical house Environment That you make safe What will happen in emergency What will happen in emergency Who will phone What will happen What will my bathroom What will my floor What will my floor Make a little safe to make a physical environment so that we can reduce the chance of falling.

1:07:25Raj Shamani:And if there's a little emergency, put a protocol. Last one, you work with a preventive health plan with parents. What do you mean? So once in a year, do a physiotherapy test and a general blood marker test so that you can recognize the underlying conditions. recognize early onset of dementia sorry diabetes you can reverse diabetes today hundreds of companies are doing it physiotherapy is there a loss of muscle so that's the other thing as part of physical activity you can strength training in body weights squats sitting standing on the chair simple exercise gym not anything in home strength training for elders you have Google or YouTube so there are thousands of videos do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it our parents can live much longer healthily don't retire first second surround yourself with people keep with friends with family third one is make your physical environment safe fourth one physical activity along with muscle loss reduction whatever you can do for strength right and the last one may be right nutrition I mean food we have that we have been eating a lot of years look at that plate today okay everything is a little protein not so what can I add tofu or honey or honey or honey or I can increase the protein intake so this is 4-5 observation I think this is a lot but

1:09:15Adarsh Narahari:But what you defined in an ideal Indian scenario, you have just defined a bad kid.

1:09:25Raj Shamani:That's right. But after three, four months, the parent will appreciate, he allows me to be independent. My children allow me to do whatever you want. But the idea is a good child.

1:09:41Adarsh Narahari:That's the definition. Right? this is the good son or good daughter is you retire your parents they give a big king size, queen size life then you make everything for them so they don't have to do anything you put nurses healthcare specialists chefs house help drivers so you do that then you travel so there are your friends and loneliness will be strong then it's like then there's one more thing you said

1:10:20Raj Shamani:which is also i said the purpose of passion purpose of passion

1:10:24Adarsh Narahari:to fulfill the bucket list full no you have to spend more time with your family so you have to spend time in your house so like all the things that you have to spend I'm saying nutrition nutrition so love language that you a lot of food enjoy everything like everything just be eat unhealthy so that that's our love language right that's how that's what we think 100 % true that's how we are and you know I see my dadadadhi right because my parents are comparatively young right now

1:11:05Raj Shamani:so

1:11:05Adarsh Narahari:they have cravings they want to eat you are being a bad grandson if you don't give them a bad time or don't give them a bad time because they feel like crazy cravings

1:11:21Raj Shamani:if you want to be a great grandson I will never say that you don't give a bad time give a bad time you hold my hand let's go to a walk mark in the park and in that walking time you ask, what was your job at 30th? What was your job at? What was your job at? What was your job at life? You would go out so much and say, I had to do this and do this. And if you have a grandson, then help him to fulfill. Someone will go to Mount Everest, someone will go to Mount Everest, someone will go camping, someone will write poetry, to write a poem. You have to get a friend of the school. If you can enable a grandson, taking the role of a grandson, you can enable it.

1:12:11Raj Shamani:You have reduced his aging. True. But if you don't understand about aging, you will have to feed a dog and keep a nurse at home and say, look, this dog will take this. You will not have to feed a dog. This is the worst. You seem to be

1:12:29Adarsh Narahari:very anti-nurse kind of concept. I am anti.

1:12:33Raj Shamani:My problem is not nurse. Don't think of it as a word nurse.

1:12:37Adarsh Narahari:A high-paid, nice nurse, if you have kept your aged parents or grandparents, why is it wrong? Why was it wrong?

1:12:45Raj Shamani:It's not what the nurse does. It's what the nurse represents. It's not what the nurse does. It's not what the nurse does. It's not what you do to do. You'll be so dependent that after a few months you can't do anything on your own. I have told you that IDC Invisible decline curve It will be very visible quickly

1:13:03Adarsh Narahari:So when you see science What should we do?

1:13:07Raj Shamani:Immediately I have told you Four things Parents have to give it back to our number one What purpose Whatever interest is It will be in the interest If you want to learn karate Or chess Or anything Put it in the class Are you sure

1:13:24Adarsh Narahari:And someone who is doing this time, will all be used to be done.

1:13:30Raj Shamani:I don't want to do anything. But his inherent passion will be necessary. Like my dad, he wanted to learn golf. But when he was working, he never got a chance. At the age of 70, he started his first golf game. Now five times a week he's playing golf. And he goes to golf. My mom loves board games. She never used to play board games. now she goes for sudoku on monday she goes for some crossword class on tuesday she goes for something else on wednesday and she's run mahjong now she has groups for mahjong we picked up like a few months ago there are 25 mahjong groups that she's part of that she goes to play mahjong so that everybody has that are you sure everybody has that how do you identify her parents that's also a big problem what happens is that we don't give a meaningful time with our parents and grandparents go and take a shower eat it and go out generally we do this son talk talk to them to tell them what they did is for us the first thing the second thing if you have tried to have a little bit what they missed in their life will be out we try to look good to ourselves when we look at ourselves we should feel good I'll do easiest thing unfortunately easiest thing is to give money this is all hard things do the hard things spend the time put in the effort understand the people that you love and then ask yourself okay in people have some purpose passion interest how can I kindle it the best friends of them can you bring in some routine they keep meeting again and again and they're not 10 people they are not happy with 10 they should become 50 so how do I do it where do I go find more people that they love and then okay what can I do do it just solve that because there will not be not or preventive health just these four things researchers proved that health span increases by five years just by the principles of Ikigai and simpler things like Okinawa is a blue zone in Japan they have this thing called harahachibu harahachibu means eat 80 % of your stomach's capacity and eat slowly ok second, eating happens in what they call a moi a moi is a core group of friends I will eat for 15 to 30 minutes minimum so that I can stop at when I am 80 % full and I eat with my friends.

1:16:23Raj Shamani:That one activity promotes health span. And this is all in India. In Ayurveda, we have something called Mita Ahara. Mita Ahara, it's just that half of your food should be solid, one fourth should be liquid, and one fourth should be empty. Is it written in Mita Ahara? Why is that empty? So that it's easy for you to digest your food. and you eat slowly so that you digest your food and you realize when you are getting full. Same. It's all there in our scriptures. We have just forgotten it.

1:16:56Adarsh Narahari:What's more and more people in the world are getting lonelier as well. They stay very lonely. Right? Young or old do you think loneliness is a big problem or will become a big problem as well?

1:17:13Raj Shamani:The loneliness we don't know what it means we think that there is a joint family so there is no loneliness we all have together what is loneliness we think that in a job or in a group we are unable to spot it research has told us that the number one reason for death in this world is loneliness it's already there like everything else we don't know how to spot loneliness we are not able to understand that someone is lonely just physically doesn't mean anything a person when lonely doesn't happen when there is meaningful conversation which is why I keep going back that's my nurse example nurse never can do meaningful conversation very rarely with their customer so this loneliness is the biggest disease of the world and companies like ours and this Blue Zone philosophy main problem we attack how do we

1:18:17Adarsh Narahari:sort this problem how do we spot loneliness I was reading I was reading a stat and it was insane loneliness if someone feels so harmful as if 15 cigarettes one day

1:18:32Raj Shamani:if someone

1:18:34Adarsh Narahari:is perpetually lonely and feels that I'm very lonely then dementia can be very bhaht jati hai, uski heart attack ki risk bhaht bhaht jati hai, uski early death ki risk 26 % se bhaht jati uski type 2 diabetes honne ki risk bhaht jati hai it's like all of a sudden it feels like agar hap lonely ho toh sab bhaht jai ga in fact loneliness joh insaan ko perpetually rehti hai aur 5 saal se zahada hai there are 76 % chance ki usko a chronic disease ho jai gi perpetual for life jose all be nhi hogi

1:19:08Raj Shamani:these stats are insane you have 100 % exactly said one problem is medical certificate never comes to this word never comes to this died of cardiac disease died of multiple organ failure you can see loneliness

1:19:23Adarsh Narahari:this is the problem but

1:19:27Raj Shamani:this loneliness has all started this stuff you can tell the stats underlying conditions this is loneliness and whatever so it's like the world

1:19:36Adarsh Narahari:is all the hacks in the world loneliness solve and you become a social group, you will stay with your social group. It's one side. If you want to do this, your chances of living longer will increase.

1:19:47Raj Shamani:100 % And loneliness can spot it as much as possible. How can you spot loneliness? Today, the people you love very much, are always disconnected. Whenever you talk, you get a single line answer or a single word answer. That is the first red flag. Why single word and single line answer? I don't have to talk about anyone. We always have to live in a device. We don't have to live in a family. We always have to live in a family. We live in a joint family. We only live in a family. We don't have to live in a family. We don't have to live in a family. This is a red flag. We don't need to think that everything is okay.

1:20:32Raj Shamani:We need to make an action for urgently. to bring people together.

1:20:40Raj Shamani:If you live at home, if you live at home, you have to see that I can develop a system from home. Now, you can do two things in your house. If you have a bathroom, bathrooms in number one so first biggest reason for death is loneliness second now false second biggest reason in the world for early mortality in older people is false

1:21:29Raj Shamani:How many stories you must have heard? Girna can be reduced significantly By two things A safe infrastructure So, what is your house Look, the bathroom is what marble is Some of Europe has told you Marble is luxury Who has told you? Marble is a worst material It gets cold Slip is not seen on it Who has told you it? Curse is Our Indian materials are so good Ka'dpa, Sadradi, Stone Nobody falls on this

1:22:09Raj Shamani:especially if you have older people

1:22:16Raj Shamani:so 70 % of falls in the bathroom in that 70 % of falls in the bathroom so if you come to a primus house for example we put a sensor by the bedside so as soon as your pair when it hits the ground this bathroom light starts and a dim light starts so the chance of you falling is reduced

1:22:38Adarsh Narahari:nice

1:22:38Raj Shamani:the second is the flooring safe there is a grab bar shower always a hand shower always old people don't like to get their hair wet getting our hair wet is a very western concept if you ask your dadi they say I'll get a cold I've got to get my hair everyday and we have a good brand like a rain shower What is this rain shower? This is not meant These are all Imported solutions That are not relevant It is not relevant For our So people don't like To get their hair wet So please put a hand shower Please put a safe Sturdy chair So somebody Sit at hand cover So we can shower We don't understand this So chance of falling Has to be reduced That's the first job Of the house So second If they fall Material should not be hard If you are looking at the sofa, don't take a sofa with a wooden handle.

1:23:34Raj Shamani:Take a cloth or a fabric. So even if they fall, there will be no sharp objects. Don't do a sharp table. Don't curve it. See if you can put rubber beading in the corners. There is no compromise in aesthetics. You can go and look at the YouTube videos of our homes. It will look like a five-star hotel. But you need to have sensibility in design. Where to put carpet? What kind of carpet to put? We put carpet that's kids. that's a horrible thing and carpet tomorrow whether you have a walking stick and if you are on a wheelchair it is a pain we love to celebrate our house by doing puja to the threshold and sometimes when we have balcony we have this transition between the balcony and living the window sits on a track which sticks out of the ground all these are fall risk flush it remove it main door in the main door we ask what are we talking about in Hindi threshold you know the main door the thing that sits below it sticks out of the ground it should not be there because every time you are getting in and out of the house it's a risk yes it's a risk of falling so you will not find that in my house so you can put fall sensors you can put so much of health technology today into the house you can put under mattress sensor you can make a seated kitchen now we talked about wardrobe we talk about for making it.

1:24:57In the kitchen

1:24:57Raj Shamani:we make all these shelves which are far. Then we put a little stool and we're expecting that our elders are going to stand on the stool and bring the stuff down. If we love our parents please put hardware that would allow those things to come to standing height where they don't have to tip it over or they don't have to stretch themselves. We can do everything in small small things. So for example in Marzi we do home improvement of existing homes. So we will look at it and we will give you a solution on how you can make it elder friendly even if you don't have nothing to do with primus so this is a major problem you into my house 100 % and we have seen after a person falls callata hai re kuch kar ho hai abhi fall kone ke baad am kya kare person is already fallen down then it's all declined so everything is about early action and prevention this is counter intuitive we take action after they have fallen down and I'm sure thousands of people can resonate with this ki Girne ke din tak Hum ko kabhi nahi laga ki Is saadmi gir sakta hai Baathroom mein Ya kahi pe bhi And girne ke baad Life kabhi same ne rehta hai Quality of life Ek dam takes a big hit So job of the house is It should stop fall Second job of the house is It should increase Interaction chance Interaction chance meaning So you need to put Your parents room In such a place That they were forced To interact indirectly Like I told you Ki you have to cross Two three locations Before going there I say that our community in our community, we have designed that we have to keep one of the restaurants and the restaurants to come to the store, indoor games, outdoor games, medical center, multi-propathol, all of us cross the street.

1:26:37Raj Shamani:Three times you have to come. When you come to the store, you have to play the cards, this snooker, this is the store, I will go. So, it's my job. That's how people keep it from home. I have to keep my friends with it. So in the intuitive design, it should be designed like that. Thinking of movement, thinking of social interaction. Interesting. Very interesting.

1:27:01Adarsh Narahari:What happens to people like you have? People come to grey divorce.

1:27:06Raj Shamani:Grey divorce? Yes.

1:27:08Adarsh Narahari:Because grey divorces have increased. The ones who are on the 50th, their divorces will increase very quickly. In India, in fact, there is a 40 % increase year on year. which is wild so after 50-60 people think that we can't live with we have our responsibility we have all our responsibility we have all been growing we are just living it alone and in fact there is another term which is silent divorce which is like we are publicly married but we are different that is the younger people right so both are coming up these people come to you they stay with you see

1:27:44Raj Shamani:divorce this alone is You think about this generation. Why did they get married? They all married for their parents. They didn't get married for themselves. They married in a very small age. So now they have been complimenting them for 40-50 years. And now they have settled. So they don't have problems with parents. And they have to understand that divorce is taboo. Now it's gone. It's not taboo. So, it's encouraging you both to do whatever you want. So, some people are doing divorce. Some people are living different. So, this is a very small percentage. You don't have one in the show. You've seen the whole volume.

1:28:31Raj Shamani:It's very small, but it's good. The other thing we don't understand is that need for love, love, companionship, and all the things that it represents,

1:28:44Raj Shamani:they also want physical attraction they also want to feel love they also want to participate in activities of love what is wrong? we would definitely get a request for Viagra and TNR medical counter what is wrong with that? they are no different from us and we should cherish their ability to make love and feel love

1:29:04Adarsh Narahari:but are you seeing that is it a growing trend?

1:29:07Raj Shamani:grey divorces? I think overall it is a growing trend yes and a lot of singles club pop up senior singles club is going on so you know we get information about all of this because we are in this ecosystem so there is a lot of singles club for 50 plus

1:29:23Adarsh Narahari:interesting tell me one insight if there is one thing you want people to take away from this

1:29:29Raj Shamani:I think the one main thing is if you don't want parents to become patients you most certainly need to look at making your home or their home a mini blue zone

1:29:42Adarsh Narahari:what is the meaning?

1:29:44Raj Shamani:that is please don't get them into a DRS spiral please don't make them dependent on you in any way that's the first thing second thing is please make sure that their bucket list is ticked and make sure they are surrounded by people and have friends around them that's it if you do this we will increase health span do not obsess over lifespan but please please obsess on this word health span read up everything you can get on what is health span and how health span can be improved in the people that we love true

1:30:18Adarsh Narahari:health span should be improved that's the word not anything else

1:30:21Raj Shamani:I hope that there will be a day when government will give you health span certificate

1:30:28Raj Shamani:nobody wants lifespan nobody wants lifespan true they want lifespan only if you are healthy true

1:30:34Adarsh Narahari:if you are bedridden you can't sit or walk why is it long exactly many people should not

1:30:40Raj Shamani:be patient guilt if the person is undergoing that they feel I am such a burden in this house I am bozh

1:30:46Adarsh Narahari:when you are low

1:30:47Raj Shamani:we have to go take it yeah

1:30:51Adarsh Narahari:thank you so much for spending time with me sharing your story and interesting stuff you are doing if there is any way I could help please let me know I would love to

1:31:00Raj Shamani:no no thank you so much

1:31:02Adarsh Narahari:such an interesting thing that you are doing and I would love to be part of this initiative in any way possible.

1:31:09Raj Shamani:Thank you. Your role as a media leader is to fight ageism in India along with me because I don't think we understand aging. And that's my larger purpose. I always think of myself as an anti-aging entrepreneur from the lens of lifestyle.

1:31:24Adarsh Narahari:Nice. We should speak more about it. Thank you so much for doing this. Thank you. Thanks, Raj. Thanks for having me.

1:31:33Raj Shamani:You're doing good work. I'm enjoying myself. It's lucky, I mean very rarely people find something that they enjoy and you get paid for. Eventually I need to go beyond you know providing housing solutions and I want to be a technology and service company for elders to hang, have a good time, none of this bhajan kareenge and you know all of these things that we associate, this is what people should do. People are participating in mixology workshops, people are participating in learning about coffee, people are participating in stuff that you will not imagine and they are sharing very deeply, very personally.

1:32:35Adarsh Narahari:feedbacks we can learn from you and create a better experience for you. And number three, you have to share this episode with someone else. Because one conversation is enough for changing someone's life. I'll see you next time. Until then, keep figuring out.