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3:22Add teammates as you grow. No IT, no hassle. Quo's built-in AI agent even handles after-hours calls and books appointments. So you're covered around the clock. Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo free, plus 20 % off your first six months at quo.com slash tech. That's Q-U-O dot com slash tech. Actually, my wrists are rather delicate, so the slaps really hurt. Chelsea are getting away with it. Gianni probably won't. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It is Monday the 3rd of August. My name is Pete Donaldson. Today I feel like Luke Moore. And I'm Jim Campbell.

4:16Oh, it's the Football Ramble, boys. We're back. Do you remember this one? Oh, it's the Football Ramble. Oh, it's the football ramble. Is that Loro? That was Loro. I think it was, yeah. Pre-Mossad. Pre-Mossad. Pre-Mossad Loro. It would have been, Mossad would have been circling around his head at that time, presumably. He just hadn't, you know, breathed life into it. When I say pre-Mossad, I mean before he said the word Mossad, not before he became a Mossad asset. Which I don't know to be true. It probably isn't true. How old is he? Could he have been in Mossad? When was Mossad in the 50s? I don't know when Mossad was invented.

4:48Anyway. Lawrence is currently 69 years old and when was Mossad invented? I will tell you that carry on okay good Pete's Film Club is back for another series we did 1949 1949 there we go for our second episode of Pete's Film Club we're going to be covering 2005's Kicking and Screaming starring Will Ferrell and he loves a soccer movie Robert Duvall yeah what's Duvall doing what's Duvall doing back in the soccer it's the second Duvall Pete's Film Club we've done with him Mr. Duvall I thought you was dead the man is in the godfather he is in the godfather good point well Robert Duvall and Will Ferrell are an estranged father and son duo fighting not in that order fighting a proxy war using the proud game of soccer children's soccer I should add it promises to be a good one can I just say they're not estranged they're not estranged they just don't like each other it's got a rough relationship good point speaking of rough relationships how are you doing guys you alright pretty good yeah not too bad in our 19th year yeah How long is it till the Premier League starts?

5:50I don't know. It's only two weeks, isn't it, I think? It feels like the silly season, but also there's a lot of big stories happening, isn't there? Yeah. How long? UEFA giving the boat to Gianni. It's good stuff. I watched the first Scottish Premiership game of the season on Friday. You did, you did, yes. The United won, Rangers won. Yeah. How was that? I mean, I didn't have much on. Nothing was going on, so I was like, I might as well just watch it. I mean, yeah, that's cool. Kind of implicit in the... Yeah, quite. in the act and I started watching Widows Bay which Pete recommended have you seen that yeah I'm really liking it but the wife I've actually had gone to bed early I couldn't watch it without it really I felt a bit mean so I ended up just putting Dundee United One Rangers one on which was more horrifying I'll tell you which was more forgettable I really struggled then to remember the final score just the last minute I remembered it was one all did you see the Penicuiic Athletic playing Howick at one point Paul Tansey who was being substituted in the 88th minute he got a red card oh he went into the crowd he went into the crowd and just started trying to fight someone but I mean it was astonishing the full Eric Dyer check out the video it is astonishing and the thing is though he could have got to the blow but he chose to try and attack the man from behind a bigger man who was obviously going to stop things the old Pete Donaldson let me at him let me at him Donaldson scrappy do the old scrappy do the old scrappy do yeah that's pretty much how it works it's the 3rd of August I know this is already happening I know so we've got 18 days to the first Premier League game of the season which is on the 21st of August Arsenal Coventry are you going to that one Jim will you presume that's the intention yeah Arsenal Coventry barring some disaster between now and then see Vinnie Junior's debut eh yeah that'll warm the cockles won't it eh lovely stuff but will it warm have my tattoo by then exactly well not long after we recorded Friday's episode of the Football Ramble Carlos Cudiero Infantino's senior advisor on global strategy and governments in FIFA resigned Codero said that the proposal was a bad deal for football and would mortgage football's future I love the idea of Carlos going I'm the senior advisor on strategy here I cannot let this stand I'm going to have to go I can't be a part of this now we've got this massive new strategy that I know nothing about and the globe hates we now have the global the globe hate us more than they used to and I'm the global strategy guy will he get brought back in at a later date, like Trump sometimes brings in advisors.

8:18Or like a cabinet minister in the UK government who... You're right, yes. Peter Mandelson just keeps popping up again. I don't think he will now. Hopefully not this time, yeah. But they do. Roger would hate that. They take six months in the wilderness, go back to the constituency, do a few surgeries, and then they come back as Minister for the Environment or something. Well, he might legitimately be hoping that Infantino falls on his sword, right? Or is pushed onto a sword and can just come back. No, he's not. He doesn't have the personal integrity for that. I bet they have. They're from Saudi.

8:49Exactly. Every time Saudi are in, he gives them a sword. They come in a room. Has Gianni and Francino got anything in him at all to ever resign from anything? No, I don't think he does. No, no. Because he's read The Art of the Deal, right? And presumably there's a section in that that just says, don't back down, double down. Yeah. That's Limmy's book. You know. Similar characters. Who can remember what thing is in what book? There's too much stuff out there, one would suggest. Well, shortly after Cordero said that, the chief operating officer Chief Chief the chief for the for the sods Omar Sharif's involved the chief operating officer Kevin L 'Amour said that FIFA's staff were deceived by Infantino's plan and said if that means I lose my job then so be it I will understand and respect that decision at least I'll sleep well tonight and Infantino said old L 'Amour broke my heart and now I'll make him for you yeah Kevin L 'Amour Kevin L 'Amour it's a great name yeah it's one of the best Erasure songs That's probably the best Erasure song.

9:44Erasure have got some absolute hits, though, haven't they? Do you remember that song, Lemore? Oh, Lemore, broke my heart and now I'll make it for you. Great tune. I had that in my mind ever since, stuck in my head ever since I saw Kevin Lemore's name. But what's happened? Luke, you've obviously not had your take on the FIFA plan. We presume that you're completely into it? I'm in favour of it, yeah. And it fucking pissed me off on Friday that you guys weren't showing both sides of the story. No, it's a good point. Because you were being very, very, if you don't mind me saying, you were being quite woke.

10:16Go woke, go broke, as FIFA would experience. But what I like about this is I like that Infantino has gone totally rogue. He's not spoken to any of his colleagues. He's basically just got it in his head that because he spent a bit of time with Trump, because he quite likes the lads of that level, he wants to be a part of it. Yeah, I'll get away with it. The Russian Kushner boys. He wants to be on the arc. He does. When they've built all their robot servants and the rest of us. Exactly. burning, he wants to be in the bunkers and on the ark. He wants to go to Mars with Elon. If the world is burning, you don't want an ark.

10:48Fair. That's very much for a flood. It's a below ground ark. And very much a metaphorical ark. Made of, not wood though. No. I don't know. I'm not going to be anywhere near these plans. They'll be dead. And all the ones who defend them on Twitter will also be dead. They think they're part of the gang, but they're not. They'll be the food. They will, absolutely. And the batteries. Like in the Matrix. but they clearly had no idea that Infantino's doing this he's gone totally rogue he's a great living example of the saying you know power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely right so he has been high on the hog for six seven weeks now because of this world cup thing and hanging out with the most people Kushner lads for sure and he's obviously now at a cushioning lads yeah retreat and go boys boys man great lads just great lads Cushtys Gary Cushtys you must have seen their TV show and one of them falls through the bar yeah so I don't know what's going to happen now but it's good the writing was on the wall pretty early on because as soon as UEFA said not only they're not going to vote for it but they're going to boycott any future competition it was dead and the reason for that is because even if you walk it through to its climax which is basically that all these private equity people invest, there's no realistic way they're going to invest in a product that doesn't feature all the world's best teams and the world's best players, because there's no value in it, right?

12:18So as soon as that happened, Infantino knew he was cooked, because you're not going to invest in a World Cup without France, England, Spain, Germany. He probably just thought, like he'd had all of the stuff that happened before the World Cup and all of the criticism, as soon as the ball gets kicked, as they say, everyone sort of forgets about it. and so with Gianni, he probably thought, this is the only time I'm ever, ever going to be able to sort of broach this subject and he's been absolutely, had his arse handed. Well, I think a key thing, right, is the fact that he hasn't brought this to the FIFA Council and the FIFA members and this has all been really backhanded.

12:55To me, it smacks of him being, you know, the head of FIFA, which is one of the biggest gravy trains going, looking ahead going, I've got one more term left and then the halcyon days are over. It's Trump-esque, isn't it? Just grab everything and get out. It absolutely is, because if he put himself at the head of this new organisation, the reports are saying it would be 30 million euros a year for him indefinitely. So he's trying to sort of essentially strengthen his own position from this position of power while he's got the opportunity to. And that really shows how kind of inappropriate a mindset he has for leadership.

13:32It's terrible leadership. you know it's he's behaving like he owns football and like it's his to sell rather than him being the head of the organisation that are really the custodians of it Correct and I think what's also been lost a bit I think in the reporting is how eviscerating that Carlos Cordero statement was and it wasn't just like I'm resigning because this ain't my bag it was like this is bad it's full of phrases like let me be clear I oppose this unequivocally I had no involvement in this this is a bad deal for football He also makes the really important point, I think, in the whole detail of it that says, basically FIFA has absolutely no need to raise money.

14:15He says in the statement, FIFA already has access to extraordinary financial resources. The rainy day money. They sit on billions of dollars in revenues. And if they want to give money to the confederations, they can easily do so now. It makes no sense. It's a complete fit up that he's doing it. Unless it's the way to buy yourself into the bunker. Right, exactly. That's probably exactly much more likely. But I think it's very difficult. With the obvious caveat that the truly evil people do find a way to survive. Yes. They live longer. They make more money than anyone else. We've been in 19 years now.

14:50No, exactly. Done nothing. Absolutely done nothing. Made no impact. So with the caveat that Ian Fancyan might yet survive this because he is genuinely like a... Like a cockroach. Yeah, an evil bloke. it's very hard to see how he comes back from this. There's no way he can enjoy even the kind of slither of respect and support he had from the other big confederations and associations who basically were just like, okay, we'll let him get away with some stuff because it's really difficult to... So for example, you could kind of understand or be sympathetic towards the fact that this FIFA Peace Prize nonsense with Trump, it's so close to the World Cup.

15:27they have to Trump is like a singular character they have to make sure that he doesn't do anything completely fucking mental so they kind of swallow it then obviously what happens after that is someone like Iain Fantino pushes and pushes and pushes until he goes too far and everyone goes hang on a minute you're not doing that so it's very difficult to see how he comes back from this I think well there's a few ways in which he could be ousted because obviously Seth Blatter it took a long time for him to get kicked out effectively it did yeah and lest we forget that he has served his time and can run again if he wants.

16:00Well, so to get rid of Gianni, he could resign. He's not going to do that. He's probably not going to do that. He's probably going to hold out until March when he's up for re-election for a fourth and final term. The FIFA Council could try to force his hand through an emergency meeting, which would be triggered if 19 of the 37 FIFA Council members call for one. But again, doubts whether this could actually happen. It has to take place within two weeks, though, apparently. I mean, like, that's crazy. And Infantino even then could refuse to step down. Send us a Teams link. I'm the guy who runs Micronesia.

16:36I'm not coming to Switzerland. A little WhatsApp. Can I access some funds to get a private jet? No. He'll be there in three weeks. You know, you can have a Teams link and we'll give you the professional ones that's£15 a month and we'll pay for that. One of the things I think that's been lost a bit in this as well, which is kind of amazing, is that even before the stuff with the kind of, the sell-off plan, if we want to describe it as that. Basically, the council can trigger a thing called an extraordinary general meeting, which is what we're talking about now, which is when they all sort of get together because they all summon themselves, essentially.

17:11But one fifth or 43 associations have to make a request in writing. And it can be a motion of 50 % of members can trigger the extraordinary general meeting. They already had that number on the case of the following Balogun red card alone. So actually before all this was happening, there was still a lot of appetite within FIFA to challenge Infantino's leadership over that alone. So this will have made that so much worse. So people are wondering if the numbers will be there to actually oust him. But if you look at that as a sort of test case of the emotion and how strong everybody's feeling about Infantino's leadership, before this situation of this new company that's going to sell the soul of football and such, then I think there's a good chance that he's absolute toast.

17:57Pete, what have you got specifically against the FIFA forward plan? I just think it's not expansive enough. It's only 20%, isn't it? 20 %? Yeah. That's a rounding error in Gianni's world. FIFA forward enterprise or whatever he's called it. I love that he came up with a different name to make it a bit more euphemistic. What does it do? It's the same as FIFA, just the same. You only get one chance to name your company. I'm curious as to how he thought. This is why I said the absolute power thing corrupts absolutely, because to me it feels like he's gone so far off the flywheel. It's curious to think about how he thought he could ever get this through.

18:35Because one of the most scrutinized kind of talked about organizations, particularly in the World Cup here. Yeah. And it seems to me like he's tried to do it really quick before anyone really noticed. and that to me just seems a bizarre way to approach something. As I said before, afters. It's the sort of business he said, but in the afters. Do you know what I mean? Where was the last time you were at an afters? That's a good point. I don't even go for a befores. Young people say that. You've not been at an afters for a long time. I was at an 18-year-old's birthday on Saturday. I'll have you know.

19:00And there were afters. You shouldn't have said that. No, I went home at nine. Right, okay. You shouldn't have said that. Happy birthday, everybody. Was it the guy who you drove to the prom? No, it wasn't him. But Wales, good on him. No, you're not moving on from this. I want to know why you guys think he could have pushed it through, why he thought he could get to the point where he could get away with it. Again, I think it's just hubris, just post-World Cup bliss, isn't it? And I think you're right. It's the circles he's moving in have completely blinkered him. And I think he thought the way he would get away with this would be like, oh, wow, thoughtful Uncle FIFA's got a really good deal for all of us.

19:34This is brilliant. Thanks, Uncle FIFA. Let's just sign this. I'm not going to think about it. But he also said, do it, and you get twice the amount of money you would get if you don't do it. And that's for me. Like in every normal deal. It's very Trump-y. It's Trump-y. It's Trump-y to Democratic bloody states, isn't it? My business acumen makes me think, good deal. Good deal. I've definitely gone with both hands. It's going to happen anyway. It's basically one step away from saying, nicer football association you got there. It'd be a shame if something would happen to it. But he also, when he scrapped it, obviously he then just, I think it was on Saturday, Friday or Saturday he scraps it or you said at the top of the show I think it was on Friday afternoon and even when he scraps it he kind of says it in language which makes it feel like it's someone else's fault like he says it's clear the project has created divisions that are now no longer in the interest of my original objectives which basically says it's your fault you ruined this you don't get it so we all suffer because you're too stupid yeah less money 50 % less money now does that sound good that sound a good deal because I was telling a joke he's blimbing himself wrangling the canva or the powerpoint I told a joke it was funny and you didn't get it you're not ready for it in your HR meeting as part of his statement he went to camera he just went yeah I mean his response to legitimate criticism is always so arrogant isn't it it's so sort of sort of aggressive and he never actually sort of acknowledges any kind of merit in any criticism and it's just such poor leadership isn't it It's really weak-minded leadership.

21:07I wish he had said chill out like he did last time. Guys, just chill out. Chill out. We're going to get everything right. That's a quote and not a joke. No, exactly. It tells you everything, doesn't it? Kevin Lemoore said he personally felt deceived by the plans. Yeah. Chief operating officer. I think this is a really important moment for the people at FIFA though, right? Because this is an opportunity to remove him, someone who is damaging for football, demonstrably. and it might not come up again because what he's done is so extreme he's unlikely to do something so extreme as before but who's coming next I mean this is part of the danger let's say from the CFO it'll be it'll be fucking Marco Rubio next one Jared Kushner there'll be somebody hanging around yeah I mean there will be someone in FIFA who's been you know politicking to get to where you know literally everyone I would imagine but if they are and you guys I think you're right I agree with that and if they are it should be interesting what happens in the coming weeks because it'll be proper foot on the throat stuff it'll be right how can we now get amongst this and get rid of him so I can get my grubby hands into it next because I think Al-Khalafi's come out and said he doesn't want it he's not interested and then Seferin I think comes up for re-election soon as well and there's talk that he might be interested in there's also whoever doesn't win in Clacton exactly Binface Binface would be alright Binface would be alright Binface would probably scrap VAR wouldn't he you can imagine and Bimface scrapping VAR and he'd do one affordable season ticket yeah he would that'd be nice and also one of Bimface's policies is he'll raise everyone else's taxes but not yours he could do that with season tickets yeah he'd raise everyone else's season tickets but not yours so I think it could work yeah but you're a big fan of Bimface aren't you you think it's really cutting edge biting satire I didn't say that of the political variety I just said that it's fine for what it is yeah okay and that's all we need he's the fine for what it is so you're a Farage man I'm a Farage man I'm a Farageman I'm a Farageman as I was about to say Wales good guy Wales good on devolution in general Wales became the first nation to publicly withdraw backing for Gianni and Tina's bid to continuous leadership of FIFA basically said yeah we're not having this good for them by the way but Wales are like we've got nothing going on in football we've got nothing going on at the moment so we'll get stuck in we'll get ourselves on the map let's get Bellas I want a Bellas I agree.

23:31I want the managers announcing this stuff. The thing is, my issue, I suppose, is that everyone knows he's a complete clown. But the type of people that seem to be in the mix for these types of jobs all seem to be clowns. When I think of Sepp Blatter now... You've got to be a clown to get up there. Yeah. But when you think of Sepp now, and I'm not talking about his personal life, but the one thing you would say about Sepp is he's out Richard Keyes, Richard Keyes. So you know Richard Keyes famously is now in a relationship with his daughter's friend? Yes. Sepp Blatt has done that twice Really? Sepp Blatt has done that With two of his daughter's friends Different At different times Oh a wing daughter Horrible I know Terrible I'm going to need ages for this one Because I don't know They could be like 60 I don't know I don't know I don't know to be fair Right okay But that's my point The personal thing to one side When you think about No never That's not how we operate Well we're fucked then No But when you think of Sepp's You know Rampant Behaviour as FIFA president, to me it feels, in comparison, quite quaint.

24:34It's long lunches. Everything seems quite quaint. It's long lunches. It's brown envelopes on the table. It's the old-fashioned corruption stuff. Well, see, these kind of CEO kind of men of the billionaire elect, they just kind of, they used to just look after mining corporations and oil companies and now we've got to listen to them all the time. Blather about shit. About why we should be grateful. Another thing with blatter though, right, as problematic as he was for a lot of reasons. He didn't necessarily try to be a celebrity, which Gianni Infantino has absolutely done. He was a fool, but he was a very sort of like, you know...

25:09Avuncular fool. Avuncular euro fool. I mean, he was a high-profile person who had to be in the spotlight, but he wasn't hanging out with the equivalents of iShowSpeed and all that sort of stuff. Who were the iShowSpeeds of the 1990s? Jedward? I don't fucking know. The 90s? Jedward went 90s. No, they were much later than that. And they got tricked by the sea that time as well. Do you remember that? No. They got stuck on a sandbank. Oh, yes. And a helicopter to rescue them. That happens quite a lot near where I live. People get trapped in the mud. Well, you can't underestimate. I mean, you know, you think of the Morkham Bay cocklepickers.

25:38I mean, that was a dreadful tragedy. That tide comes in so fast. I think that's like a 45, 50 mile an hour tide. It's crazy. I know it's very serious. I prefer to characterize it as Jedward being tricked by the sea. All right? Yeah. I don't think Jedward were in that much mortal danger. Were they cocklepicking? I doubt it. I don't think so. but can I just wrestle it back to Sepp and just say he was like old fashioned granddad sexism I'm not saying it's good it's bad but it's like of that generation everyone laughs at it and it shouldn't happen and we stamp it out of the game over time but it's not as bad as I've hung out of a load of despotic billionaires I also want to be a billionaire now so I'm going to sell the entire football community up the river for my own personal gain that's different yeah it is so good on Wales good on Wales Also, let's not forget the red card.

26:25I love that people are banging that drum still. You're not getting away with that just because you've done something worse. Well, do you reckon he will get away with that? No, I don't, because clearly, you know, people have still got to be in their bonnet about that as well. It is a buzzy bonnet right now at FIFA. But didn't Cep Blatter kind of establish with Rooney and, you know, other rules? Cristiano. Cristiano back in the day and stuff. I don't think that was Cep directly. Yeah, it was a very different scenario, wasn't it? Yeah, probably. Speaking of Sins of the Fathers, coming above this Chelsea get a tiny slap on the wrist.

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30:08What's your go-to meal deal? I don't think I've ever had a meal deal. What sandwich would you get? Like chicken? Jam. Jam. He's like a multi-millionaire. He's not going to have a meal deal, is he? He's not going to have a meal deal. No. It's a stupid question. But you can imagine his kind of... Would he have had a personal chef at like 14 or something? He's not going into Tesco and getting a meal deal. That's not happening. He's one of those kids who's like a little packet of malt loaf and a monster. Do you know what I mean? That kind of vibe. Like a street urchin type. A street urchin. He's a street urchin.

30:36I feel like there's someone in the room right now that might have that sort of vibe I bought a big can of super malt yesterday thinking they'd released an energy drink but they've just made a bigger can of super malt Hang on a minute you quit energy drinks Oh yeah I'm back on I'm back on So back on Jim he's back on the muck He's absolutely back on the muck I've had a bad couple of days He's Tommy from Trainspotting I've had a bad couple of days Pete you've got to get off it I do walk my daughter up a pier Up a pier Up a pier and then back down a pier How did the malt compare? presumably doesn't give you the same bottle I'm not drunk yet I'm furious I thought they'd released a sanity drink but it's just super malt but I just think that interview there which I don't mind it smacks of a question of like a young person asking a question oh he'll talk about meal deals he's not going to know what you're talking about it's really hard to get anything out of Cor Palmer would you have asked that question when you were saying interview in Supergrass at Isle of Wight Festival in 2006 we should have asked that question when we were interviewing a footballer a couple of weeks ago that's all I'm saying Jim which footballer was that Ben Mee oh yeah we should have asked it then but we didn't we talked about starting a business.

31:37But it's weirdly enough, weirdly enough, I think Ben Mee probably might have had a meal deal. Yeah, I think he would have been. I think he would have been. That's the irony of it. Yeah, it's annoying. Right, forget about your meal deals. Let's talk about high ticket items. Chelsea, as a punishment for multiple transfer rules violations during the Roman Abramovich era, the FAF handed Chelsea a£10 million fine. Do it again. That's better. That hurt. Made my veins hurt as I hit my own hand. Yeah, this is a smaller figure than Liam Rossini, everyone's pointing out, reportedly received as payoff after being sacked three months into the job.

32:13That's one 12th of an Argos. It's one 12th of an Argos. The violations amounted to 74 disciplinary charges. So when I saw this, I knew we were going to be talking about it today. My original take was that this happened during the regime previous to the current regime, right? So they've frotted up about it. They've owned up about it. they've got a lower fine because they pled guilty and they wanted to get it off their table because it was a previous regime. And then when I was coming up the escalator at Warren Street I saw a big Chelsea advertisement saying come and visit London's home of trophies and I thought fuck them.

32:49Fucking finding more money. The money that they're taking in every day as an ownership of a football club kind of is underpinned by a load of trophies that they won by signing players incorrectly. It's a fair point. This is the second time this has happened, isn't it? Because the Premier League gave them a fine for the same thing recently. And this is the FA's charge. But they were kind of in cahoots, the FA and the Premier League. They kind of made a gentleman's agreement. If anyone's thinking like, didn't this already happen? Yes, it did. Yes, it did. Yes, it did. It's an astonishing turn of events, really.

33:24It just reinforces the same outcome that if you don't get caught breaking the rules at the time, later on there'll be a really light punishment that effectively renders it meaningless and just makes it all go away. I actually think at the top level of football now, particularly in the Premier League, you wonder whether fines, unless they're astronomical, actually matter. I know it goes on the, I presume it goes on the balance sheet and it's effective for profit and sustainability and stuff like that maybe. But other than that, to me it has to be points deductions. Because I know that there is a facility to deduct them points.

34:00And you know, it feels to me, I'm not saying they specifically deserve to have points deducted for this specific offence, but I think amounts of money become meaningless in top-level football. Like, you know, £10 million in the grand scheme of things, it's kind of meaningless. What you're trying to do with a punishment through a team breaking the rules, whatever rule they've broken, and obviously you can change it depending on the severity of the rule they've broken, you need to you need to be punished in a way that is actually meaningful otherwise there's no point doing it now I don't despite what I said earlier as a joke I don't care if it's Chelsea or whoever it is obviously I'd like to see the Man City thing if I can sort it out at some point right this sets an incredible precedent for this one would suggest but they're different aren't they they are different but you also sort of think but it's well the difference is seems to be just that it did not contravene any fair play financial fair play rules back then the self-reporting is a big thing and the self-reporting but Man City have obfuscated at every stage yeah and openly said they were going to be and there's loads more and there's loads more charges and it's the current regime the crux of the matter seem to be that the FA and this is the most hilarious thing in the car the FA were unable to provide a reason why Chelsea would want these players in a sporting sense do you know what I mean so they couldn't link these contraventions of agent players and player payments outside official routes.

35:26They couldn't link it to Sporting Advantage, which just sounds demented. Brian O 'Neill, the KC for the FA, suggested that a very wealthy man might have acted because of the thrill of the chase, or from a desire to buy something, perhaps, because he could, and thereby deny it to others. The FA maintained it could not point to clear and compelling evidence of a motive to gain Sporting Advantage. I mean, it's incredible lawyering. Incredible bit of lawyering for the FA. If they hired some hypnotists to be lawyers you think this is a coherent argument you agree with this Hazard Willian Eto 'o Ramirez David Lewis Schurler and Matic concealed offshore payments they could not tell it's tripe funeral it could not say why the club had wanted some of the players it remains a complete mystery as one of the pieces went I mean it's an astonishing situation so there was an independent commission who oversaw this as well and they criticised the FA for failing to charge individuals related to the misdemeanors and for requesting that a sporting sanction should not be applied as punishment so i mean it does if you look at the examples of everton and nottingham forest it seems ridiculous that they get points deductions for um financial breaches um when something that's as underhand as this and calculated and deliberate is essentially just sort of brushed under the carpet because the lawyers are quite confident yeah and and and that and that chelsea would i know the acquisition was rushed through because they had to do it quickly and we spoke about this when the Premier League levied their fine and their suspension of the transfer stuff this is factored in on the purchase, they knew about this when it was acquired and they'll have as Jordan said on Dogspot they'll have indemnity insurance for this sort of thing, so it's just a complete win-win for the Chelsea honours they have a suspended two-win transfer ban that only comes into play if they break the rules again which is not going to happen Exactly.

37:23That's the most meaningless part of the whole thing. And if they do break the rules again, do they get a separate punishment for that? It's like, well, you've been pre-punished for this one. So don't worry about it. I mean, it was probably pre-Bitcoin as well. Imagine if Bitcoin had been in there. We would never have known about this. We'd never have known. What are you doing with Bitcoin at the moment? Very little. I've got money to buy it. I haven't got Bitcoin to sell. Also, Saramda got a point of deduction for simply cheating. Well brought in, actually. Yeah, yeah. Five points. They're starting the championship season on minus four.

37:56Yeah. How do they feel about it? Don't care. Don't care. So the fine, as you said, Jim, was an issue set at 26 million that was reduced by a third to 17.25 million. And then another third was taken off. Why not, guys? To be fair, their lawyers are amazing. They are amazing. That's always the way. It's always the way, you know. It's tugging hat involved. It's always the way because it's the same with the Man City thing. They're just tying it up and tying it up and tying it up. And if you've got... This is why it brings me back to the point I was making earlier about how financial punishments, notwithstanding, like I say, the profit and sustainability thing, they're almost meaningless because it's like getting a big corporation to pay tax.

38:38They're always going to be a step ahead. They're always going to find somewhere not doing it. And then what happens is the revenue back fill the loophole and they find another one. It's like playing whack-a-mole. It's the same with this. They're always going to have the best lawyers. they're always going to find ways of getting around it so come on Burnham I think it has to be probably has to be quite simplified and it has to be saying that you know these are these are the rules and it's always going to be a points deduction they take the fines you decide out of it because actually I mean if you if you look at this it's been so worth it for Chelsea the great rules and other clubs can look at that certainly it would be the other you know Super League clubs will look at that and go we'll probably get away with this if we overspend if we do this and we'll have to deal with it in 10 years time let's just do it The only way you could argue this not being a sporting advantage sort is if none of those players played a single minute.

39:29And even then it's difficult for the Sofra because you're like, well, they're part of the squad. So they're still contributing something. And the point is, if they're not going to give any kind of sporting advantage, why are you signing them? It doesn't make any sense. It's amazing that that's where it fell down. It's absolutely incredible. Is that why Hazard's bum is so big? Because he's holding the bag for his agent in his back pocket. It's like, this guy's got loads of money in his pocket. yeah I mean it's incredible I'll use the word astonishing again it is astonishing what word would you use if you couldn't use the word astonishing shit we'll just talk to this when Man City come up and have a lovely time with their day in non-court and we'll just sort of talk at that and so I go oh Helena Hancart we've got no levers to pull here we can't change this it's just we've been vindicated we've just I'll wait for that I cannot wait for that because fundamentally this these kind of stories they're just not as interesting as Vinny to Arsenal are they?

40:22Do you know what I mean? Personally I agree with you Or a little pervert with binoculars looking at other teams training Yeah exactly That's a visceral image isn't it? That was salacious Exactly Yeah I had photos and everything It was great If we had a shot of like I don't know an agent receiving a briefcase of money in a hotel like bring it in Back in the day Sam Allardyce with a handkerchief over his face we got like three weeks out of that We did And another few minutes Bring it back to that. Thanks, Sam. You're the best. Well, one man who's clearly been watching and reading what's been happening in the car is called Palmer because he keeps falling asleep.

40:59He's admitted to falling asleep during the England versus Mexico match. But I don't... Which I think is fine. I fell asleep before it. Yeah. For ages. Yeah. And then I went back to sleep again when it was delayed for an hour. And I also think, would you have a complicated relationship with it if you were hopeful of being a part of it and then you weren't? Yeah, I think if you're Cole Palmer's age, you absolutely can stay up that late. But if you're a bit frustrated about the whole situation, you might just give in to a little nap, right? Yeah, because I think some people would be... He's like one of those goats that get so frustrated that they get their two flusters, they just pass out.

41:32Maybe he just got so angry. He could have done. He dozed off. I can imagine him climbing a mountain in a really confusingly proficient way as well. Yeah, fine. Waking up, but he's just on a bridge, on a dam. Jim, have you seen those passing out goats? That's a bit of you, though. Yeah, yeah. Amazing. They go completely rigid as well. Baffling creatures. But Cole Palmer would either be, I mean, those kind of footballers who are, all of them are obviously very competitive and all the rest of it. And if you're a Jordan Henderson type character and you've had your time and you're kind of in the twilight of your career, you can see why he's really getting behind the lads even though he's not going to play much, right?

42:04Yeah. If you're a young lad, as you were lured to, Jim, it would go either way. You'd probably say to him, oh yeah, no, I'm going to get behind the lads. But see, you're like, fuck those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like when strikers admit to win when they're not playing, but they don't want the struggle to score because they want to play. It's a bit like that. So maybe, like you said, it found it very hard to maintain focus. I think Cole Palmer does find it very hard to maintain focus generally. Anyway. I mean, I was... He wasn't eating a meal deal, that's for sure. I played 11s yesterday, came on at halftime, instantly sliced the ball high, a really powered shot into my own net.

42:39What was his final score? I think I was like 5-2 or something. But it was poor for me. Were you wearing the moccasins? Of course I've had the Pochettons. Maybe that's one, yeah. Maybe I should have done. How many own goals have you scored in total for this club? No, I've just started with another club. It wasn't great. You moved on. Not a great introduction. Are you attempting to play kind of like amateur Sunday football like a kind of outlaw would approach the Wild West in the late 19th century? What do you mean? You go to the town, you commit a few crimes, and you move on to the next one. Yeah, hope no one's seen it.

43:12Hope the turnover is so good in the Essex League. You've got someone pregnant, had a dispute in a saloon, and now you move on to the next one. So how long do you reckon you'll last at this one? Well, on that performance, not very long. Give them a shout. Give them a shout. What's the name of their team? It's the same thing. Villanova, they keep on changing. I was in the over 50s. Now I'm back in over 35s. I like that you moved in the transfer window. Yes, exactly. Got the business done early. Over 50. Hey, you love him. You love him. Marco Correa. He's Oh, do you know what? Did you see him posting pictures of his I've softened my stance because I found that sorry about him.

43:51Do you want to hear it? Yeah, I think I know what it is. So apparently he keeps his hair that way because he's got an autistic son and it's the only way his autistic son can recognise him on the screen. Coward. Very wholesome. No, I'm not being coward. I'm admitting it. I'm being brave. I'm being courageous by giving him credit. You're not being brave. He's got braids now. Has he got braids now? I didn't know that. Well, where does that leave you? I have to come back to you are you caught on a bit of wet sand I didn't think about it I'm with Jedward confused I'm with Jedward in cold parma on a sandbank confused well he's posted pictures of his postman wearing his World Cup medal if you've got to make that very clear so his postman came to the door and went presumably he went can I wear your medal or they're just friends or something he was back in Horsham West Sussex before the start of the season yeah and he allowed the postman to wear his World Cup medal which I think is disrespectful to a man who's got a job to do.

44:44He's also in the middle of moving house to Madrid, presumably. He's like, man, can you leave me alone? Yeah, it's a good point, actually. He's set up his forwarding, probably, and that's why the postman was there. I do like that when footballers do stuff like this, it always gets praised as a classy gesture. What a great person. He's just handed him an object. It's pretty normal stuff. Yeah, exactly. He was presumably wearing, he probably was wearing it around the house. Yeah, I would be. I would be, yeah. Which is why I'll never have one. You're not going to win the World Cup, are you? No, I'm not.

45:09I've accepted that I think you should do that we don't talk a lot about European football if we can fucking get away with it but foreign muck foreign muck we've had hey the World Cup's over sunshine we've had one of the best moments of pre-season so far in Germany Bayern Munich beat 8th tier Rotterdam Ergen in a game that has become a bit of a classic in recent years they beat them 15-0 yeah this is not this is not as big a story as people are saying it is because in three years ago they beat them 27-0 Yeah, they play them every year, don't they? They've got easy. Took the foot off the gas, one would suggest.

45:43Oh, maybe Bayern Munich could shit now. Last year it was 14-1. So, Rottak Ergen got a goal last year. Maybe someone sliced one into the back of their own net. Maybe. They go there every year and they give them all the money, don't they? So, essentially, they come to town. Everyone turns up to watch them. In the case of the 27-0 game in 2023, Moussiao scores five. Sibica scores five. Matias Tell scores five. Nice. every single person scored a goal, pretty much. There was 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 13 different scorers. Great. But then they give them the money at the end. I like the tradition. In the 79th minute, that Rotherkegan brought on the club's cashier.

46:22He's been at the club since 2002, and there's apparently a police officer as well. Yeah, they changed the... God, he's a goalkeeper, a cashier of the club, and a police officer, and a German. Nice. He's a great lad to have beer with. the first goalkeeper in the first half because I watched the highlights of this game really really looked like Big Pav right okay they moved like him and everything and in the second half they changed him for another goalkeeper I think Big Pav probably would have fared better in that to be honest not now not now I mean he's a big unit now you just get better you just get bigger for the goal you can't not be a big unit of your Big Pav I can't say my own goal smashed it smashed it you'd have got pelters from Big Pav you've done that I would have done Bayern have scored 76 goals against their side in their last four friendies conceding only once doesn't seem that friendly does it doesn't seem that friendly I like it I like that tradition I think most teams should do that the Portsmouth play do a friendly every year against Gosport Borough which is a local team and it's regularly quite competitive it's not quite the same team big fan of that alright then any other business?

47:29nah we've got film club to do exactly we do film club is coming out tomorrow so look out for that We've got Will Ferrell Ferrell? Ferrell Ferrell Will Ferreiro Rocher Will Ferreiro Rocher We'll see you then Thank you for listening to the Football Ramble Part of the Acast Creator Network Ta-da!

47:51The Football Ramble is a Stack Production And part of the Acast Creator Network

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