My Biddy Aunt: Pen-pushers

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3:57We are looking for the current names of the stadiums. The Donbass Arena, is that still a thing? We're not playing in Donbass. Are they talking now? Have you heard what's going on? You fucking idiot. It's a really high point. We forgot about that. It's wise games. It's quite difficult to explain, but you'll get it as soon as you start hearing it. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's Friday. It's my video. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I am Pete Donaldson.

4:32Come on, mate. Settle down.

4:39Hey pretty girl, did you go to college to get your MBA with all that knowledge? It's my bitty and MBA, baby. MBA all fucking day. Here we go. What's little Luke saying about that? What's little Luke saying? You brought little Luke along. Don't touch him. Don't touch him. I just wanted to touch his little hands. He's drunk. I've never met him before. I just wanted to touch his little hands. He's got a broken finger on that hand. That is true. Pete's never met him. He's never met him. I've never met him before. Why has he got no kind of... He's got nothing going on in his trousers. He looks like a double amputee.

5:10But he's bought the wrong length of trousers. We don't judge people on this show. I'm judging anyone. I'll tell you what, Peter. That really impressed me there, where you went, I've never met him before. I was going to rob a bank, I'd rob it with you. Is that right? Would you? Who's got more access to firearms, 3D printed firearms? He's got off the internet. It's me. Is that a confession? He's gone close to the line. I've got close to the line. I think if the police do turn up, they'll let you finish the show, so don't worry about it. Not like old dirty bastards. No, exactly. Throughout the Brooklyn Zoo.

5:40Welcome back to another episode of My Biddy Ant. David currently holds the belt, but he's a waste. It's a lead fixture between Marcus and Luke. It's your fault. You headed up the game that day. You're going to be part of my heist crew. You need to keep a good eye on belts. I did a really obnoxious Chris Tarrant-style hosting job, didn't I, on that show, and everyone got pissed off at me on YouTube. Did they? What were you doing? Were you trying to do... What, you're harrying people along? I was trying to get the tension going. Oh, right. Nice. That's all right. That's fine. We don't want to give you that final answer stuff.

6:07If you feel like it's going to go to a five-rounder, though, you can't do that. No, exactly. We're not too long. I've learned a lesson. Has little Luke learned his lesson? That's the question. God knows. He's here for moral support. Each round, I'm going to be naming a footballer. It's like Blockbusters. You just bring your toy on, isn't it? One of you will bid on how many of those clubs you can name. Your opponent can then raise the bid or challenge you to name only professional clubs count. And the player must have made a competitive appearance for that team. If you fail to meet your bid, your opponent scores first to three points wins.

6:38Today's theme is in honour of Arsene Wenger's rumoured bid to Overtor Gianni Infantino. It's... Old guys up at City Hall. Football's pen pushers. What? They have to be players. People who... They're footballers. They are people who may or may not have been involved in... Oh right, so they've gone on to become... Oh I see. Pen pushers. People who, you know... Wenger better not be one of them. That's it, yes, I've got one. Yeah, it's important you go first for that one. Yeah. Luke, you're going to go first. Again. Round one, seven clubs. It's the former president of Liberia, George Ware. Oh, blimey.

7:16Lovely to hear. Oh, okay. That is genuinely lovely. Yeah. Nice. It's right in my sweet spot, this. I'll open the bid with five. If I've been overconfident now, we'll bid in five. We did Dean Wenders Hall of Fame about him, didn't we? I can't do all seven, so maybe I can open the door for Marcus and let him do six. Okay, you got five. Marcus? He's scribbling still. I'll allow you to finish that scribble. He'll have five. I've got to have to go six. I like it, Marcus. I've got to have a punt here. It's a strong start. Okay, so I can go seven.

7:53I think I could do six. That push, I think. I'll let him name his six. I can't do seven. Ducky-ducky. I'm reasonably confident here, if I may say. Yeah, six out of seven. The very definition of a lovely old job, Marcus. Monaco. Monaco, 88 to 92. Paris Saint-Germain. 92 to 95. That's where I certainly, he got my attention. AC Milan. AC Milan, 95 to 2000. Manchester City. I had that written down as well. Yep. Chelsea. Chelsea. That's five. On loan in 2000. Mad to think he did, but I remember he then... Because it was so odd that he went to those clubs. But he went back to France, and I think it was with Marseille.

8:46It was. Congratulations. Congratulations. Well done, Marcus. That's the sixth side. Who was the seventh? Was it Al Aqli? It was Al Jazeera. The television company. Do you know what? I would have guessed it, Al Aqli, probably. Would you? Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, it's worth a while. He played a bit in Africa, but presumably those sides were not professional. Yeah. Hence, you would have said them otherwise. Exactly, exactly. Well done, Marcus. Well done, Marcus. Big judge. Score update. Luke, nil. Marcus, one. Come on, Marcus. You saw me out. Round number two. This isn't fair. He's got help. He's got a big brain.

9:21Seven clubs. Seven again. Former president of the Croatian Football Federation, Davosuka. Oh, Jesus. That is a tough one. I love it. I love it.

9:42I'm struggling here. I'm going to go...

9:53I'm going to go for five. Oh, bloody hell. You're going to go for five. That is strong, man. Out of the seven. I can't do six nowhere near so you go for your five okay Marcus just so you know I think I've got four but I can't get anywhere near six Marcus name your five Arsenal 99 to 2000 West Ham West Ham yeah yeah okay Real Madrid Real Madrid 96 to 99 Sevilla correct and I'm unless there's a rogue one in here I'm pretty confident as they all do in Croatia played for the NMO Zagreb. Yeah, well done mate. Yeah, well done. Yeah. Marcus, 2-0 up. Fantastic. That's bad, isn't it? Did you, so you only had...

10:41I had four. Well, I had the opening bid I suppose. I had four. Were there the... Then I had Real Madrid for the fifth. Right, okay. But I couldn't have gone sick. Okay. You had Zagreb, did you? Yeah, I had them over there. You could have had in the Yugoslavian first division, Osiak and 1860 Munchen. Oh, you finished... yeah, I would have not got that. Six is hard then, because those two are difficult. You're never going to get those two. Alright, Luke. I've got to do something here. Get back in the game. Go and make a move or it's a clean sweep, if you will. Seven clubs. Round number three. Seven clubs.

11:12We'll play for seven. Seven clubs, yeah. Sporting director, Deco. Oh, Jesus.

11:22Sporting director at Barcelona, of course. okay seven again

11:31it's about the form Marcus is on really and these players are all right in his sweet spot do you know what though I was hand I mean Suka whoever opens the bidding there with Suka gets that I think you reckon yeah because of the two that you weren't going to get I suppose yeah okay ordinarily if I was just playing this game Marcus wasn't on brilliant form I would just Luke wasn't here as well exactly I would just say five so I'm going to say five I can do five I think out of a seven that's a really strong field I would say a really strong field I'm pretty sure I can do five yeah who am I kidding I can't do six alright good so Barcelona 2004 2008 I mean everyone knows that everyone knows that Chelsea two years they signed I'm pretty sure he's at Porto yeah So I think that's the three everyone would have had.

12:25And I think he's played... I think he played in Brazil. For quite a lot of it. I think... Didn't he start his career in Brazil and end his career in Brazil? He represented Portugal, but I think he started his career at Brazil. And I think he started his career... I don't know if I've got this the right way around, but I think he started his career at Corinthians. Correct. Well played. And I think he finished his career at Fluminense. I'll tell you what. Fair play to you there. Yep. Well done. Fair play to you. That's fine. That's a big point. Absolutely fine. Because you know what? So obviously had the three.

12:54The other two will be fucking Qatari or something like that, won't they? Alverca, or Versa, and Salgieros. So yeah, I have to say, I was... Obviously he's played for Portugal, but as you say, he was... Is he Brazilian? Yeah, he's from Brazil, if you see what I mean. He was also on the books of CSA and Benfica, but he'd never been an appearance for either of them. So that may have been the... If you were guessing, but yeah, Brazil was where you... That was where you earned your point there.

13:40We'll be right back.

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15:37You're off the mark now. Back in it. Back in it. Making it tasty. Luke 1. Marcus 2. All right. As we head hurtle into the fourth round. Marcus, you're going to kick things off with seven clubs. Again? Yeah, another seven. Magical sevens. He's a technical director. Chilling. Matt Ritchie. Matt Ritchie. Oh, bloody hell. Matt Ritchie. Matt Ritchie. Oh.

16:07Oh, bloody hell. Seven? That's a lot. Oh, man. Does he really play for seven clubs? Mm-hmm. are you thinking about him kicking that corner flagging that man's balls that time I wasn't but I am now Marcus say a number for crying out loud seven clubs Matt Ritchie the only round I would have a chance in I'm really stunned he's played for seven clubs I have to say I have to say that come on Marcus I haven't got any give us an answer music but I'll press something I think I might hand this to Luke. Do it! Three. All right. I think I can, I'm pretty sure I can do five. Oh. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Have you just cajoled him into doing a lot?

17:00Wait. Marcus can bid six if he wants. Yeah. I'm saying, have you cajoled him into a little, because you said you were, oh, this is really difficult. It is. I've nowhere near seven, but I'm pretty sure I can do five. I mean, that's a moderate bid. That's what you got for? Five? Yeah. Far away. All right. You don't want to do six? Definitely not. Okay. Okay. So he played for Portsmouth. Twice. He did.

17:26He played for Reading at the end of his career. Not like Reading. He obviously played for Swindon. Is that obvious? He played for Newcastle as well. Now, the fifth one, I'm sure there's an obvious one here, but I can't fucking think what it is. I can't picture him in the kit. But I know he spent some time on loan at Dagenham and Redbridge, and I'm hoping they're professional at the time. That's my fifth. They should be, I think they're professional. Out of the three, you could have chosen such a weird one to know. Fair play. What are the other two? Bournemouth. Bournemouth, of course. Fucking hell, mental block.

17:56And he's now the technical director at Bournemouth. What was the seventh one? Notts County on Long. All right. All square. Did he go and loan at Dagenham when he was at Pompey? I think he might have done. 2008, 2009, yes. I mean, look, I'm not going to have a go because there's Man United and Arsenal fans who play this game and they get plenty of, you know. When he came up as a Portsman player, I thought, yeah, I think... The fact that he's a technical director is bonkers. Yes. Right, all right. Well, Luke for the win on his serve as well. Two all. You've come back very gallantly. Yeah. Getting the first go on each round is definitely advantageous, isn't it?

18:34But you both get them. You both get them. Luke. It's the final one. I'm just like, I'm still in it. Luke, round number five. Nine clubs. Nine. Nine clubs. Technical director of the National Dutch Football Federation. Nigel de Jong. Nigel de Jong. Nigel de Jong. This is impossible. Nigel de Jong. This is going to cost me. Nine fucking teams. Nine fucking teams. This is going to cost me. Nine fucking teams.

19:10I've got absolutely nothing here.

19:16Oh, God. Three. Lukey Mo has gone for three, it seems. Marcus. Hand it to you on the plate, Marcus. What have you got in your blunderbuss that you're stalking down with a big stick? I've genuinely got nothing. You can't have nothing. I've not got nothing. I've got very little to offer this way. You've got an erotic drawing of a lady on your piece of paper. You've got three there. Give us a fourth. Come on. No, but there's question marks on two of them. I think Luke's... This is annoying, because I think Luke... He's played this well. I thought three would be too low a bid. I'm pushing myself with three, because I thought, I can't bid lower than that.

19:57It's embarrassing.

20:01This is so annoying. This is so agonisingly annoying. Had he gone four, I think I would have got him to do his... Oh, man. He's taking the brain out of that, Luke. He's put it on his head. because he's already celebrating the victory. Come on, Marcus.

20:21Make him side me. Marcus, can we have your choices, please? I'm hating this. Will you go for three? I'm absolutely hating this.

20:31There's too many guesses. I'm actually going to let Luke do his three. All right. Sorry, Pete, do you mind? Oh, there goes the... Yeah, there we go. I just want a little Luke to serve me some coffee. So you want me to name my three? I think I can do him I think you can as well It looks great on your head Right Here we go Tell you what You need this victory Get ready for the right button Because you never press the right button When there's a winner Right Man City Yeah So we all had that one Marcus Oh that was naughty AC Milan Yeah I had that one AC Milan Now Here we go Now Here we go Here we go I think I have a vague memory that Man City signed him from Germany and the club they signed him from in Germany was I think Hamburg.

21:32You're saying Hamburg. He definitely played in Germany but I couldn't remember. What's little Luke saying? He's got his brain on my head. this game oh yeah well played well played there we go well done looking 2-0 down as well you done well you did very well come on United-esque yeah just it was great while it lasted go on who were the other clubs the other clubs were Ajax for four years of course Hamburg as you said Man City AC Milan LA Galaxy Galatasaray Mainz and a bit of a drop off into where everybody ends their career at the turn of the teens and the 20s, Al-Akhali and Al-Shahania. Yeah, so it was...

22:14I actually should have got. It was the Dutch club. So I said PSV. I saw PSV and I was like... Yeah. I looked at it. So I had Man City and Milan were the two that I had. And I thought, right, it's definitely a Dutch club. And I knew they got him from Germany. And I couldn't remember for the life of me where in Germany. So... Marcus... It's like the win. First one for a while for me, yeah. Well done, pal. Well done, yeah. You were under pressure and you got there. So... Yeah. A discord, by the name of... Cleaverslips came in last week and dropped off some marzipan for you. Oh, now you're talking.

22:44So really, I feel like a winner now. So you feel, I mean, it's a huge amount of marzipan. Yeah, that's fine. Will you survive the weekend if you eat that much marzipan? There was chat, wasn't there? Could I eat as many Battenberg, Mr Kevin Battenbergs as Harland scored goals this season? I mean, the answer's obviously no, but I thought so. But maybe this, what's the list? What, do you mean the mini ones? The mini, of course. He could eat 30 mini ones across a season. Across a season? In one setting? But Sean brought in a big packet of Aldi marzipan snacks and one of those big chocolate log things.

23:16Yeah, whatever. And some random sort of pastry-based ones as well. Don't you worry, son. Let's see if Marcus shares those with some of the office or whether he takes them all for himself. Yeah, I think the loser takes all today, actually. Well, Pete said to me, if Marcus wins, I'm going to give him that marzipan, so I ain't going to let him win. And he didn't. What a shame. What a shame. Do you know what, though? one of the plays I think of the season was Yudeko one yeah that's pleasing yeah well you know we had the Brazilian link and there's two biggest clubs yeah but still though I think the fact you knew he started at Corinthians and ended Fluminense I thought was very impressive indeed that was a bit of a guess I would I would I don't want to have sour grapes here but you did it was 2v1 today you had Little Luke not right next year exactly yeah so I don't know I'm not saying let the listeners decide they want to understand the father and the son I'm not saying it's a conspiracy some might.

24:05I've heard a rumour that there's also a little Marcus in the works. Is that right? Oh, hello. We'll see how you feel about it then. I'd love to get to a position where we all play the game where we've all got our little mascots next to us. It'd be demented. It'd be brilliant. I've no doubt that Peter's going to have more fun with that one. Yeah. I hope so. Like the World Cup glove trophy. Can you get him a little cock or not? I think that's all it is. I could do a model of it. Those are my little ones. Do it real size. Oh, dear me. You killed me making that one. Oh, deary me. Right, I think we should end there.

24:35Thanks for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the ACOS Credit Network. Big win for the nation. You've got to say that. We do have to, finally, the nation of domination. Is this your first win of the season in any of the games? Might be, might be. Might be. Give a message to the nation. It's your nation. I know, but you've just been defeated by it. Oh, you mean the actual nation? Yeah. Don't worry, I'll be back. It was bound to happen sooner or later. But I think it bodes well, because if Luke can beat a fine world champion like me, then England can beat world champions on Sunday. We'll be back, of course, Monday morning, 9.30, on YouTube, Football Ramble.

25:10See you then. We'll see you then. Shout out the Luke Nation. Lovely old job. It's pit bull time, everybody. Happy Friday.

25:23The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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26:14Plus, 10 % off eligible purchases with no annual limit. It's one way we honor and give back to those who have served and still do. Learn more and verify now at Lowe's.com slash military. 10 % discount can't be combined with another offer. Exclusions, terms, and conditions apply. Loyalty programs subject to terms and conditions. Details at lowes.com slash terms. Subject to change. Hey, I'm Pablo Torre, host of Pablo Torre Finds Out, and I have chased down a lot of strange stories, but nothing quite like what's inside a McDonald's quarter pounder with cheese. 100 % fresh beef, cooked right when you order it, hand-topped onions plus cheese and pickles in every bite, and right now, you can get one with medium fries and a drink for just$8.

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