A European curse

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3:16Federico Valverde: That's redcrossblood.org slash LGBTQ.

3:23Rodri: These sausage-munching tea slurpers, they don't like it up them, do they? Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's Thursday, 12th of March. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm Vinicius to hunt the ride here.

3:47Vishnu Vaka: Vish and Jim are on the pod. I'm hosting against the Football Rams. Better judgment and much to report on. The Champions League happened once again last night and none of the six English teams remaining in the Champions League this week won their games in the opening legs in the round of 16. And last night was the first time that two English clubs have lost by three or more goals on the same day in the European Cup slash UEFA Champions League history. That's an alright stat, I suppose, isn't it, Vish? It is. To start with.

4:16Pete Donaldson: We're never getting back in the EU now, are we? We're never getting back in the EU. We've embarrassed us. We've debased this competition. What have we done? We really have.

4:23Vishnu Vaka: We used to be a country. Now we can't beat Real Madrid away from home. Yeah, Real Madrid 3, Manchester City 0. I mean, Real Madrid with a very patched up side to a certain extent but there's really no substitute for experience is there Jim?

4:39Jim Campbell: Apparently not even though Real Madrid featured three 18 year olds throughout the game but it doesn't seem to matter with them does it? House always wins

4:48Vishnu Vaka: The DNA is just in there isn't it as a Real Madrid footballer

4:52Jim Campbell: Apparently so that's returned I mean it is worth looking at the players they're missing as obviously these are high profile players that everyone knows is missing in Jude Bellingham Kylian Mbappe and Rodrigo but you know the shift put in by obviously Ernesto Valverde gets the plaudits but I thought Brahim Diaz and Adagoula were really, really impressive as well. But that's one of the great European hat-tricks, isn't it? That's not an overstatement. That has to be, yeah. Incredible stuff.

5:15Vishnu Vaka: Shall we sort of go through it? Because, I mean, I think it's worth doing each goal in turn. I mean, the first one, Courtois with a Norwegian, like, 1990s Torre André Flo Rieker to Valverde, who had so much to do, knocking it around the keeper and then finishing from a really, really tight angle. Nico O 'Reilly wasn't on his tours at any point during the match there's arguments to say he was at fault for two goals but what a finish for the first fish

5:44Pete Donaldson: yeah I mean you've picked the worst finish haven't you? what do you mean?

5:50Vishnu Vaka: this is like our top three and the last one's obviously the best so imagine top of the bobs

5:59Rodri: hosted by that

6:00Vishnu Vaka: dubious man in the tracksuit top yes yes indeed yeah I mean the first one was was awesome from a tight angle the second Diaz knocking like a finish his through ball at the bath of Alverde finishing from another super tight angle it was a it was fights in tight spaces Jim

6:19Jim Campbell: it was very much so and I think that that first one as well was interesting because I think Donnarumma possibly thought he was outside of his area when he wasn't because he touched his army doesn't he which is a funny one from him but I suppose got to be risk averse in that moment. The second one, I think because it's the meat in the sandwich of the other two, is an exceptional goal that just looks fairly normal. You know what I mean? Compared to the other ones. Really, really good, tight finish. Hard to get past Donnarumma into that angle. But the third one is the one that makes it an all-time.

6:53Pete Donaldson: Yeah, the third one is so good that he makes it seem like he had more time than he did. And actually, it's one of those strange situations in sport, I suppose, where actually when you slow it down, you realise how little time he had. Yeah. Because it really brings into the fact that Mark Gay is really close to him and his touch has to be that perfect. Yeah. It's not Colin Hendry in Scotland, is it? No, no. I just went for a fucking hot dog. Yeah. Mark Gay had the distinction of not falling on his arse like Colin Hendry. But then when you see the angle of the shot as well, despite the fact that he's quite close to the keeper, or rather he's quite close to the goal, because he's quite close to the keeper, there's only really one place he can put it, which is where he ends up volleying it into.

7:44Pete Donaldson: It was a remarkable hat-trick, just a remarkable performance from a bloke who is consistently the hardest worker in that team because he has to be. Because of a lot, as you mentioned, the players that are out are so focused to what they can do going forward that he's the one who basically misses doubtfires the whole fucking thing he's like clearing up after everyone he's a utility man isn't he yeah

8:05Jim Campbell: he's like three utility men yes yeah

8:07Pete Donaldson: like he can be a right back he can be a right winger he can be a central midfielder and apparently he can be a hat trick scoring goal you know goal machine on a Champions League night

8:17Vishnu Vaka: when he scored such you know tight finishes the first two I think Brian Diaz just thought you know what I'm just gonna loft this ball in and he'll probably do something with it

8:24Pete Donaldson: in this kind of form you see the reaction of Jude Bellingham in the crowd incredible like turning to whoever was by his side and being like oh my god that is amazing and it's like, yeah, that's the thing that you think you do. Yeah. All the time.

8:37Vishnu Vaka: You act like you do this every week.

8:39Pete Donaldson: But that's like, that's the occasion, that's the moment that the likes of Mbappe, Vinicius, Jude Belli and Rodrigo feel is not owed to them, but like that's what they're about. Yeah, that's their brand. Yeah, and here's this water carrier, you know, filling his bucket full of champagne.

8:56Vishnu Vaka: Yeah. I mean, obviously what happened to kind of make the tie a little less difficult in the second half? It's a massive mountain to climb, obviously. But obviously Donnarumma took down Vinicius Jr., who ended up taking the resulting penalty. He went for razzle-dazzle rather than pace. He sort of telegraphed where he was going to put it with his body shape, and he took such a long time to sort of actually put it in. And it kind of sets the tie on nowhere near a knife edge, but it makes a little less of a huge amount of time for Man City in the second half. Yeah, less stabby. Stabby. More flesh woundy.

9:35Vishnu Vaka: It's dulled it slightly. Yeah, yeah. The end of the knife isn't quite so sharp.

9:39Jim Campbell: It might have had something on it, something a bit poison-y, but we don't know yet.

9:44Pete Donaldson: We've wiped it down. It might have just been a bit of onion. Do you think Manchester City deserved to even a bit of onion knife still in the tie? Well, no, because... I mean, obviously it's not for us to say, but like, you know... The way they set up, I think, with Pep Guardiola,

10:04Vishnu Vaka: he didn't overthink it in the way he usually overthinks it. He went all out attack. He went, you know, just, this is going to be a bit of a slugfest, let's really go for this. And I thought it started really well. You know, Trent was just having a nightmare by Doc most of the first sort of exchanges. But as they have done so many times at the start of this season, the sort of thing they thought they'd gotten over with a couple of acquisitions in defence and they went a goal down and their heads just went and it was just a real shame for Man City because they'd been playing quite well It felt a little greedy

10:36Pete Donaldson: on Pep's behalf though if you've got like Savinia, Semenya and Doku in essentially a front four with Haaland that's a bit much if you clearly like on one side if you've got Kusinov at right back because you're wary of the threat of Vinicius then that seems to go against starting Nico O 'Reilly at left back because obviously you want him pushing into midfield which is why you put him there I felt like they were yeah I mean obviously being a bit wise after the event but after that initial period where it was like City seem to be relishing this I just thought like wow okay this is really getting out of hand you're losing so much control and I know that's part of why you know that's been part of Manchester City's story this season is their inability to control games but that was that was completely out of hand i thought yeah i would say with o'reilly

11:26Jim Campbell: i think he's done enough as a left back for that not to seem like a shocking um choice at the beginning of the game even even in the bernabal but i think you're right there are moments where he maybe could have could have been a little bit more switched on for for the first goal in

11:40Pete Donaldson: particular yeah yeah i wasn't necessarily like um having a go at him but there was a lot of discussion in our whatsapp group about how at fault he was for those goals and just his performance in general. And I thought like, actually, you know what you're going to get from him. The reason he's playing is not because of what he's going to do without the ball, it's what he's going to do with the ball. Yeah, absolutely.

11:59Jim Campbell: And you're going to need that extra man in midfield at times in theory, right? Yeah, yeah. Because the service to Haaland was basically non-existent, wasn't it? Yeah. Even with that kind of, the option of him in there. And it was very interesting to me how in the second half in particular, essentially Real Madrid just let City live in their own heads. They would kind of wait for an opportunity on the break which they got two or three of got the penalty from one of those and then just essentially managed the game so they didn't let City back into it because City even get one goal you know what these ties are like a tie can look dead and buried and then something happens in the first ten minutes and the other leg and then it's all over the place but Real can just

12:37Pete Donaldson: in the second leg just sit back and just soak it all up yeah they can basically do what they did in the second half yeah the penalty the way it comes about from Vinicius being so free I thought Kuzano did really well there to even just put pressure on him but if that results in a goal whether from the chance that Vinicius has or even the penalty that he has that's a real that moment in itself is a real embarrassing situation for Man City a real embarrassing way for them to concede because they were like basically all out attack that start of the second half and it felt deeply unnecessary maybe they were inspired by that You're fired by Newcastle.

13:20Vishnu Vaka: In many ways. Well, Bernardo Silva said that Manchester City let emotions change the game. They said 3-0. It makes it a bit more difficult, which is a bit of an understatement. Now it feels really bad. Now it feels really dark. Should the Man City side be that disheartened, though, because they've got such a decent attacking player? If Semenyo gets a little tap-in or he goes off his bum in the first five minutes of the next leg, you've got to be looking at sort of, they might get something out of this tie. Yeah, but I mean,

13:51Jim Campbell: are you going to beat Real Madrid by four clear goals? No, but you could take the penalty. Are you going to stop them from scoring? Yeah, I know what you're saying, Pete, because obviously they've got a really talented squad and they've got every reason to believe in themselves. And I imagine it will be different at the Etihad, certainly if they can get Haaland in the game a bit more. But, you know, Real Madrid are so canny, aren't they? And also, this is the thing, if this was two seasons ago, you'd think, I still give City a chance here. this was maybe a blip maybe you know they were caught cold by Madrid but Marcus has been banging this drum like for two seasons they're not that team now they really really don't appear to be that team now even as you said with the cavalry of Marguerite and Antoine Semenya coming in

14:32Vishnu Vaka: they sort of turned well we thought they turned a corner mentally but this you know they turned back well this has been

14:37Jim Campbell: a facet of their of the kind of latest iteration of them though isn't it they do just kind of drop a result out of nowhere after a really good run of form. So this looks really difficult to turn around. Not impossible. You know, we've seen it happen before, rarely, but obviously they are a really good, high-quality side and Madrid do have players missing and perhaps you could start building a narrative that some sort of massive turnaround is on. But I imagine they would rather be in a better position than 3-0 down.

15:04Vishnu Vaka: Yes, yeah, that is very much understood. Were Man City's forces a little bit perturbed by Jeremy Doku disappearing into a wormhole and then reappearing again.

15:17Pete Donaldson: So this is very much your domain because often those advertising boards are different depending on which territory you're in. And I don't know what the name of that technology is, but it's pretty commonplace.

15:29Vishnu Vaka: It's like augmented reality kind of... The Matrix, basically. The Matrix, yeah, yeah. The specific kind of... You see it quite a lot in... It wreaks absolute havoc in very fast games like hockey, I think. Right, okay. when players are really whipping around really close. I think there was digital signage. And it's one of those things where it's been introduced and I knew it would be introduced at some point because augmented reality has gotten so good so quickly over the last sort of 15 years. And I knew it would happen at some point, but nobody had really talked about it until players started disappearing into advertising.

16:03Vishnu Vaka: It's like Jeremy Dock who went.

16:05Jim Campbell: The first time I've seen this happen. Sometimes if you watch a game, if you're streaming it through the internet and maybe it's a frame rate thing, Sometimes the ball seems to disappear. I've not seen a player disappear before. No, no.

16:16Pete Donaldson: Is that because Man City were basically in green yesterday? Yeah.

16:20Vishnu Vaka: So that would be it, wouldn't it? I think on the hoardings, it doesn't even matter what colour the hoardings is. I think they just sort of know roughly where the advertising is and they just replace it in whichever territory. It's like, you know, if you listen to the Football Ramblin' America, there'll be a beautiful American voice advertising something. Yeah, but that's us. We have to re-record that. Don't tell everyone that. and over here it's do you like I was just trying to think of quintessentially British products do you like crackers do you like biscuits do you like bootlicking do you like

16:50Rodri: bootlicking do you like tinned meat do you like looking through

16:53Vishnu Vaka: your curtains at your neighbour and what they're doing with their bins like Roger

16:57Rodri: more on which later

16:59Jim Campbell: join Raynham Steel it's my nickname at school it wasn't

17:04Vishnu Vaka: so look second half it's all not lost when you've got a fold line like that but it feels pretty desperate in this moment in time.

17:11Jim Campbell: Especially because we don't know if that's the same Jeremy Doku. Exactly. He could be from some sort of parallel universe where he's not doing.

17:18Vishnu Vaka: And Pep Guardiola will have to underthink that idea but overthink everything else.

17:22Pete Donaldson: Imagine what he would have thought in that moment if he was watching it on TV or when he rewatches the highlights and he sees Doku disappear. His mind's going to go haywire.

17:31Vishnu Vaka: Has he gone into the Roger Rabbit realm? Yeah, he's going to join him.

17:36Jim Campbell: I love that that's the first alternative reality you thought of. that's great

17:40Vishnu Vaka: well yours is the Matrix you're one of those right wingers the red pill blue pill guy oh that's what when is the Louis Theroux documentary about you he cut me out

17:51Jim Campbell: it was too hot for TV

17:52Vishnu Vaka: too hot for TV too strong strong emotions I'm excited about this match I think Man City might do something they have to

18:01Jim Campbell: don't they which suggests it will be a bomber they've got to empty

18:03Pete Donaldson: their goals out onto the pitch and see what happens

18:05Vishnu Vaka: empty their trophy cup and go

18:07Jim Campbell: maybe Tebow Courteval will disappear. He was excellent last night and if he could do that that would be handy for them.

18:13Vishnu Vaka: That is true. That raker man. That raker for the first goal. That was his second assist

18:18Jim Campbell: in the Champions League this season. Really? More of that please.

18:21Vishnu Vaka: Like it. Don't play such a high line man city please. Yeah as Jim half mentioned there Rodri has had the police called on him after his neighbours spotted him flying a drone outside the windows of his apartment. He's just on his balcony and I think it's adorable that he lives in a big high rise and he's probably got a couple of hours is fine. but like he's in a big high rise and he's just flying a bloody draw around.

18:43Jim Campbell: Yeah, and let's be honest, he lives in a really nice high rise. Yeah. And he's just spying on his neighbours who live in less expensive high rises, I would suggest.

18:52Vishnu Vaka: We are not saying that he's actually, he's spying on his neighbours. He's done a little float around. He's certainly, you know, giving us the opportunity to speculate though,

18:58Jim Campbell: isn't he?

18:59Vishnu Vaka: Well, yeah, the neighbours have alleged that his drone flying has invaded their privacy and left them fearing that he's been able to see into their properties. one of his neighbours said my wife is very unnerved by it one of the benefits of living so high up is that you're not overlooked by anyone but now we're being played by Rodri played by Rodri how much downtime has Rodri got have they had like a whole season when he's been injured pretty much

19:25Jim Campbell: yeah I mean they have haven't they so maybe he's got really into drones how do you begin to process that scenario all the footage that he's recorded I don't know

19:32Vishnu Vaka: the Dolby Premier must be white hot

19:34Jim Campbell: on his Macbook but having like having a drone fly outside your living room or bedroom window is horrible. It's genuinely a really intrusive thing. The bit where you realise it's Roger because there is a picture of him on his balcony with the control. It's like, what does your brain do with that? Who do you complain to?

19:54Pete Donaldson: 100 % yeah. And it's not even that what he's doing might be perceived as creepy. He looks like he's having a great time. He's bored. He looks so happy in that photo.

20:02Vishnu Vaka: He's having a peek around. it's that what if they so apparently the Greater Manson Police are getting involved they've received a complaint and they are making inquiries what if they go in and he's like got do you remember the film Sliver with Billy Baldwin and Madonna no Shara Stone where basically Billy Baldwin's got I think he works in a hotel or something but he's got he's got security cameras from everybody's rooms right in his house and he's just got loads of screens with different rooms he might have a he might have a camera I'm starting this rumour now he might have a camera in every room in the house he might just be one of those guys likes to, you know, that would be amazing, wouldn't it?

20:38Jim Campbell: Rodri was kind of revealed to be a serial creep. With a peeping room in his massive flat.

20:44Vishnu Vaka: And look, it's not, at the end of the day, libel is built on whether it affects someone's reputation, and that man is on his balcony flying a drone around. You can't get as great a Manchester police. We already know he's a mess.

20:56Pete Donaldson: We already know he's a mess. Real Madrid were right about him. They were right to protest a Ballantour ceremony because this dare do well was being honoured he's watching you yeah he's watching

21:08Vishnu Vaka: Rod Rye I like alright well coming up after this Chelsea also lost by three bloody goals

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23:44Rodri: Comes all the way across. Townsend. Oh! One more! My oh my! My sweet grandma's apple pie.

23:57Vishnu Vaka: I love that I'm a big fan of that nonsense to be honest welcome back to the Football Ramble and the Champions League home to wonky goalkeeping from inexperienced fringe glovesman

24:08Pete Donaldson: what is going on what is going on

24:10Vishnu Vaka: this week everyone's lost their minds it's a crime wave it's a glove crime

24:15Pete Donaldson: wave for crying out loud yeah if the glove fits where apparently it doesn't do either of them

24:20Vishnu Vaka: PSG 5 Chelsea 2 goalkeeper Philip Jorgensen amid a costly error, I think it's fair to say, to give PSG their third goal. Enzo Fernandes getting involved just slapping the ball towards him having a real bump.

24:34Jim Campbell: Really compounding the error, Jim. Yeah, he also, he had a moment after he scored where he kind of pointed at the club World Cup badge on their shirt to win up the PSG fans. It's never a dull moment with Enzo Fernandes, is it? No. Yeah, I mean, the Jorgensen mistakes, there's a couple there, I think, where you think he should absolutely do better there. Yeah. It's weird, isn't it? Because obviously Robert Sanchez isn't particularly convincing. Clearly Jorgensen isn't the answer to that. And it's going to cost them, isn't it? Essentially, it's going to cost them points this season. Clearly, it's cost them in this situation.

25:07Jim Campbell: I wonder what they do in the summer. And we know that Chelsea probably have to make a big sale. Yeah, maybe. And they had like eight goalkeepers at one point, but those days seem to be over as well. Might there be a little cheeky bid for Emi Martinez? Because there are very few goalkeepers around where you can go, he will definitely fix this problem. He's certainly within the Premier League.

25:28Vishnu Vaka: He was slighting the Chelsea vibes.

25:30Pete Donaldson: Yeah. But they definitely want a goalkeeper who can play with his feet. I feel a bit for Jorgensen and actually Robert Sanchez because, you know, in fact, probably not feel for them. I have a degree of admiration for them, even off the back of, for example, Sanchez's performance against Arsenal and Jorgensen's performance against PSG. because there is clearly a level of discomfort there. But the messaging from upstairs is you need to play with your feet, you need to start our attacks. And they just have to get on with it. And it must be terrifying. Sanchez's anxiety came right at the start of that game against Arsenal.

26:10Pete Donaldson: Whereas Jorgensen actually did a job. He was kind of, you know, it was Cruyff turning past a couple of players here and there. And it felt like it was working. and it was a really stupid pass for that Vitunia goal. It was just like not on.

26:25Jim Campbell: Which is a great finish as well. Yeah, it was. It was a lovely finish.

26:28Pete Donaldson: And then obviously he just has to save that final chance from Kvaric Scalia. Who was on one last night? Yeah, he had been wrong, didn't he, by starting on the bench?

26:39Jim Campbell: Certainly. I think it's hard to pick the goal of the game because they were all really good. But it's got to be Dembele's, right? that was a real real moment of kind of top draw quality which is slightly terrifying but it's funny because you know Chelsea were in this game the scoreline doesn't reflect how the game actually went they were probably

27:00Vishnu Vaka: the better team for the better part of an hour but again a little bit like Man City they just seemed to implode they fought back into the game they were playing quite well and then just their heads went and once again it just seems like a lack of experience for a lot of their kind of signings I think in the Champions League is kind of coming in on to roost you.

27:18Pete Donaldson: It does feel really juvenile, doesn't it?

27:20Jim Campbell: Being 3-2 up in the 85th minute and then not kind of being able to keep it at that. Yeah, exactly. That fifth goal is an absolute killer.

27:29Vishnu Vaka: Yeah, it certainly is. And the substitutes that Rossini made, Cole Palmer off, Liam De Lapp on and Liam De Lapp, man, he looks just so low on confidence. Nobody wants to see him there. The Chelsea fans don't seem to, you know, they genuinely think he's one of the worst signings they've ever made. there's a lot there's a lot stiff competition for that stiff competition for that for Chelsea but yeah it's really not happening for Liam Delap is it

27:53Jim Campbell: it's a real shame isn't it because looking at him last season obviously you see him battling away in a team that have been promoted and getting a decent number of goals and he looked like he kind of had everything to be the modern iteration of a very British version of a number nine and he's been farmed out wide a bit to do a job there for tactical reasons a few times for Chelsea so perhaps that's a factor there but he just doesn't seem to have the same kind of dynamism. Maybe he doesn't suit a team that have the ball as much as Chelsea do.

28:22Pete Donaldson: Yeah, there's also like when he was doing well at Ipswich, he was basically playing all three roles of the front three. Because he basically had a free role, but part of the...

28:34Jim Campbell: Just follow the ball around.

28:34Pete Donaldson: Yeah, part of the free role was like, you're not actually going to have much of the ball, you've got to chase it. If you want it, go get it. And yeah, as you say, it's definitely not the way that Chelsea play and he probably feels awkward by the fact that there are only so many spaces he's allowed into because of all Chelsea's players. But yeah, your thing about them being immature, it's just, I don't get it. Because they worked so hard to get to that point where they were really troubling PSG. And even 3-2, 4-2 even, you take that back to Stamford Bridge and think, look, we've got something to work with here.

29:08Pete Donaldson: But yeah, there was so much endeavour, there was so much hard work. And then it was almost like, I used to get like this when I was a kid. You'd like, do something really well, and then you make a small mistake, and you're like, fuck it, let's destroy the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like trying to make a pyramid out of cards, and then the top one falls, and so you just swipe out the bottom. Yeah. They're so self-destructive. In many ways, you have to admire it.

29:32Vishnu Vaka: Yeah, well, you spoke about the way Chelsea want to play and seek to play. Pedronetto very much getting involved in the way that Chelsea historically have played. Shoving a ball boy off her. He avoided a red card. Even that? Why are you letting a ball boy rattle you? That boy is going to make millions as a vodka entrepreneur, isn't he? This is Chelsea Heritage, isn't it?

29:55Pete Donaldson: This is Chelsea Heritage. To Eden Hazard with a ball boy at Swansea.

29:57Jim Campbell: Is that Neto trying to ingratiate himself with the fans, trying to become a sort of cult hero? Yes. I am a bit of a streaky player, but I know you love this. So, here you go.

30:06Pete Donaldson: Did you see the... It was great. Because he came out and apologised.

30:10Vishnu Vaka: He did. He said, in the heat of the game, I wanted to pick the ball up, but he was holding it. I gave him a little push. I saw that I hurt him. I'm not like this. It was in the heat of the moment. I give him my shirt. I've apologized to him.

30:20Pete Donaldson: Yeah, so he expands on that, and he says that, you know, they were like exchanging words back and forth when he was apologizing. He apologized a lot, and he was like, and, you know, he accepted the apology. I think he accepted the apology. I don't speak French, and he said something in French and laughed. I think my head was like be great if you just had another dig at him

30:44Vishnu Vaka: well it's another he'll decline for an English side in the Champions League in the next round and actually

30:49Jim Campbell: if you look back at Chelsea's performance against Barcelona in the group stage at Stamford Bridge they were amazing they flew out the blocks obviously I think PSG won't defend in the way that Barcelona do

31:01Vishnu Vaka: and you cast a lot of them on the ropes in the second half against them

31:03Jim Campbell: they will not change that high line like whatever the circumstances is even when they were a man down, it's mad. But I do think this sets the second leg up to be a really fun exhibition.

31:16Vishnu Vaka: Yeah, I do fancy, again, it to be a spicy night. There's a lot of Chelsea fans, a lot of Chelsea YouTube, certain men, getting very upset about it. Marcus's mate, getting very upset about it. But I do think there's, I still think that the tie is alive, despite Kfarad's career saying that we are PSG. that's his main kind of thing they said that we were tired, I disagree with them we are PSG

31:42Pete Donaldson: you know a lot of the discourse that emanated from last night and it does pop up I suppose at this stage of most Champions League campaigns where it was like the English are arrogant about the Premier League and about the strength of the Premier League and they're finding out the hard way and we started this show with lamenting those results and we're already turning it around it'll be a great second leg when they win hell of a few nights when they turn this around the arrogance celebrations across the country

32:12Jim Campbell: probably across the world really you just gotta recognise quality when you see it right

32:17Vishnu Vaka: look at the Commonwealth we can't travel we've got no petrol well former Chelsea midfield Kani Chukwemeka has switched as international allegiance from England to Austria ahead of the World Cup I mean was he in contention with people talking about his entry into the squad? Probably not. Absolutely not.

32:38Jim Campbell: And he's got the opportunity to go and play under Specs.

32:40Pete Donaldson: I very much like that decision. I like him because obviously he's a very good player and has a bright future regardless of what country he plays for. But it's a lot more palatable when it's a midfielder rather than a striker for some reason.

32:55Jim Campbell: Yes, it is. I don't know why. Because we've got a couple of those, haven't we? We could have Erling Haaland and Michael Alise playing for us.

33:02Pete Donaldson: And Jamal Musiala as well.

33:03Jim Campbell: Yeah, so he's obviously now going to go and become one of the world's best players.

33:08Vishnu Vaka: No better than what we've already got, Jim, as we always say at this juncture when we're proved massively wrong. All right, well, coming up after this, Arsenal, they salvaged a draw and what a night for Bordeaux slash Glimt.

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35:25Rodri: Welcome back to the Football Ramble.

35:27Vishnu Vaka: It was Bayer Leverkusen 1. Excuse me, Arsenal 1. Getting emotional about it. about Kai Havertz scoring against his former club, Vish. Oh, emotional.

35:37Pete Donaldson: Yeah, Bart Leverkusen predicted this when the draw came out. What, he said that Kai Havertz will score? They were doing loads of social media posts of like, Havertz, please don't hurt us. Stuff like that. And like reminiscing about having him back. And he goes and does it.

35:53Vishnu Vaka: Yeah, he goes and does the business gym.

35:55Jim Campbell: Yeah, with a fairly generous penalty.

36:00Vishnu Vaka: you are going to be recording the thing about Arsenal tomorrow yes

36:03Jim Campbell: we did do a match reaction last night as well as that's available for you to listen to now this was the draw that I wanted when looking at the teams available yeah you didn't fancy a Bodo Glimt

36:15Vishnu Vaka: it wasn't available to you the Bodo Glimt

36:21Jim Campbell: if they get the job done against Sporting will face the winner of this tie so goodbye Leverkusen or Arsenal by the looks of it. Again, more on that later. And I suppose that wasn't necessarily to underestimate by Leverkusen because obviously they're a good team, but they are sixth in the Bundesliga. And this was difficult. They've got a really good record at home. They've got the joint best defensive record at home in the Bundesliga. So it was always going to be a little bit of a tough nut to crack. And it was very interesting because the way Arsenal have played in the Premier League has been very difficult, has been very different to how they play in Europe.

36:55Jim Campbell: Mostly because teams kind of just come out a bit bit more in Europe because you have to. Most teams are finding

36:59Vishnu Vaka: that in the Premier League aren't they?

37:00Jim Campbell: Yeah. Best league in the world. Indeed. And obviously when Labour could go 1-0 up they then kind of sat back a little bit. It's like, oh, okay, this again. And Arsenal didn't really have much of an answer to it. They were pushing and they were kind of Julian Timber in particular kept making sort of forays into the box and they were kind of pressing the issue but they didn't create a huge amount of chances and that's been a problem lately essentially this kind of risk aversion is in its own way quite a risky thing because in limiting the opponent's chances to attack you on the break, you don't really try anything too much yourself.

37:34Jim Campbell: So it was a little bit stagnant.

37:35Vishnu Vaka: And this change between the Premier League sort of form and Champions League, they didn't seek to control the game quite so much and that was, they just let Bayer Leverkusen come at them.

37:43Jim Campbell: The middle of the park was a bit more open than you would normally expect.

37:47Vishnu Vaka: Much more watchable, I would say.

37:48Jim Campbell: Yeah, even then, no, it was still a grind and it wasn't the most kind of enjoyable performance. and I think Bakayi Saga had a poor game he was substituted on an hour Nani Maduweke came on and made a really big contribution actually he won the penalty after he was kicked in half through the middle by the Labour-Cousin thug they get like that don't they yeah I think at the moment Arsenal's attack is quite uninspiring and again for the reasons I put forward there's an element of that being a deliberate kind of risk-averse tactic, possibly while they're in four competitions and trying to kind of grind their way through a busy period.

38:33Jim Campbell: But I do think at some point, the attacking players have to click more. And, you know, the defence is obviously a very good platform, but they need to use that platform. And, you know, being 2-0 up is more secure than being 1-0 up, isn't it? And it seems to be something that Arsenal are kind of sometimes struggling with a little bit in terms of just getting those players in gear and creating a lot of chances. Now, that was Arsenal's 102nd goal of the season. last night, which is mad to me. So, I mean, kind of... Forgetting how many games people play. Sure, yeah. So, obviously, what I'm saying is I'm saying it from a very privileged position, but I do have this sense that this will stop working at some point.

39:10Jim Campbell: You know, like, a strong defence is great, but there is a whole other side of the team that could be doing much better and working much harder. Basically, I'm looking around the other games in Europe and thinking, oh, this looks really fun. I'm very jealous. Yeah. I want it all. Yeah.

39:22Vishnu Vaka: I mean, Saka's kind of struggles he had with Palacios on the night were interesting. He seems very low on... I felt like he sort of got out of his head a little bit in the preceding few matches. And then this one went right back to kind of early season kind of Saka where he just seemed to sort of overcomplicate things a little bit.

39:41Jim Campbell: Yeah, and I think his decision-making has always been one of his strengths. And he's always been very good at sort of, you know, if he has to go the long way around the player, he'll do that. And if he has to sort of turn back and pass the ball, he'll do that and he makes those decisions really really quickly but I do think his decision making feels a little bit laboured at the moment I wonder as well if he's essentially just you know his body hasn't fully recovered from surgery because he's being injured and he's needing surgery right and they're very different things and I think it's easy for us to forget that sometimes very destructive isn't it

40:11Vishnu Vaka: yeah I the production team here at the Football Ramble asked me to do a new feature called Donny's Curse and I actually cursed Bukaya Saka for this weekend wow How did you do that? Because they're playing Everton and Mikalenko always kind of like, they always double up on him. And I said that Bakayo Taka's going to, you know, he's the recipient of my curse this weekend. Interesting.

40:35Jim Campbell: Will it break the magic of it or can we know how you actually make this curse happen? Is there a set of ingredients?

40:43Vishnu Vaka: Chicken bonds. Just a lot of, an ungodly amount of chicken bonds.

40:47Pete Donaldson: And you're getting the chicken and eating it for the bones or you're buying the bones in?

40:53Vishnu Vaka: It's just a night at KFC Just having some lovely hot wings But yeah So I'm hoping That Arteta will play him at the weekend Thus I have cursed myself In many ways Or maybe the curse just worked too well And it worked last night

41:07Pete Donaldson: So you're cursing him to face Mikalenko On the weekend

41:12Vishnu Vaka: I'm cursing him to have a bad time Against Mikalenko at the weekend I see, right, okay So But I fear my curse may have done too well I didn't time it out properly forgetting that they obviously had a match this evening in the evening when I recorded it. So you think you might have gone early with a curse? Yes, I think I've cursed him at the wrong time. So I would like to apologise to Jim and the other hosts of the Arsenal podcast.

41:37Jim Campbell: I'm looking forward to seeing where Donny's curse goes. Once we get some data, what happens if it's demonstrably working? What then?

41:46Vishnu Vaka: I imagine money comes my way. Is that how this thing works? That is, yeah. No recompense, just money. Yeah, exactly. Let God sort it out. That's what I say. Well, yeah, I mean, Kasper Hulman said that his side deserved to win. They played pure good football, which is a lovely northern sort of expression. And Leverkusen, head of the game, shared an image on X with a sign by the corner flag reading, no corners allowed. He's just having fun online.

42:14Jim Campbell: They're just having fun online. They're not in the manosphere.

42:16Pete Donaldson: No.

42:17Jim Campbell: Their social media team seems to be a department like just entirely separate from the rest of the club. Just absolutely rogue. Just doing whatever they like with the Buy Leverkusen branding. Yeah, very much so.

42:28Vishnu Vaka: In many ways. But Leverkusen scored from a corner, so it kind of worked. Out of order. Cow thing. Well, Hulman immediately went over to Arsenal set-piece coach Niklas Jova after they scored as well.

42:38Jim Campbell: That sounds really aggressive, doesn't it? But it wasn't like that. Even that was really, really jovial.

42:45Vishnu Vaka: Jovial, perhaps. If you will. All right, well, are you confident going to the second leg at home? I think you've got to be haven't you it's going to be an English

42:54Pete Donaldson: clean sweep we've already spoken about that of course what if they all go through

42:58Jim Campbell: against the odds all counting your chickens before the second leg silly old Europe back off Brussels I am confident quietly confident I think if Arsenal were to go through it will be narrowly because Bayer Labour is an hour a good team but I think the home advantage will be enough

43:17Vishnu Vaka: sum up being quietly confident in a noise Jim hmm that's too like hmm look what's happened that doesn't feel like you've got any agency in the situation well I don't do I you need to get in the curse game mate elsewhere a board of glimps inexplicably have now won five games back to back in the Champions League they've been sporting 3-0 they're going to be facing the winner of Arsenal versus Bayou Leverkusen I'm thinking holding up their lead in Lisbon it is an astonishing turn of events something's happening

43:47Jim Campbell: there isn't it maybe they're getting on the magic as well whatever it is that means you can curse people and Jeremy Docku can disappear. Bird of Glimpse got a bit of that about them. It is astonishing.

43:58Vishnu Vaka: At a time when football teams are playing so much football, the fresh sort of Arctic winds just seem to, you know, it seems to be a really, really bit of a cheat code for the Champions League.

44:08Jim Campbell: What I love about them is especially at home, but they kind of do this away as well, is they just take the game to anyone. They set the agenda. They are very much the protagonist in it. They're not like, oh, so kind of prejudiced. it's not about soaking up pressure and trying to nick a goal it's like no they go out and they play their game and they beat you

44:24Vishnu Vaka: yeah it was helpful that they had the home leg first I suppose in many ways but yeah they're going to be facing off against Arsenal do you fancy a

44:33Jim Campbell: well if Arsenal get passed by Leverkusen I see what you're dropping your little curses all over the place

44:40Vishnu Vaka: you've got a very busy running with the Premier League quite late on you've got to be worrying about that all over the pitch Nick Lenko coming up the destroyer oh man it's been a good it's been a good set of fixtures not necessarily if you're an English fan but well done Bordeaux Glimpfish

44:56Pete Donaldson: yeah they they play really enjoyably don't they like they're just a nice team to watch wait till it warms up though lads yeah well

45:08Vishnu Vaka: former Arsenal striker

45:09Pete Donaldson: I've watched the snowman I know how this ends

45:12Vishnu Vaka: former Arsenal striker Nicholas Bentner was talking about his experience of playing at Bordeaux Glimpf he says it's fucking cool it's boring it's great it's dark it's a ridiculous dressing room and these players are sitting there making millions staring at each other thinking I hope you're having a good day today because I'm not there I'm not there at all

45:29Jim Campbell: that must be so infuriating for his former teammates to hear yeah sort of like

45:35Vishnu Vaka: an expose if you will yeah I think

45:38Jim Campbell: when he played in Norway to be fair to him he scored a lot of goals and he did really well there but that is just such an insight into his mind this isn't absolutely perfect I'm not really interested. Yeah.

45:50Vishnu Vaka: No, I completely agree. Yeah, he knocked them in for fun for Rosenborg, didn't he? 53 matches, 24 goals. Yeah.

45:56Jim Campbell: He had a lovely time there, apart from when he had to try, by the looks of it. The one of the things, I know I mention this all the time, and I make no apologies for repeating myself on this. One of the things I absolutely love about Bird of Glimpse Run is that some people can watch the game from their balconies, which are built into the side of the stadium. There is a residential block of flats as part of the stadium. I just love that so much. It's so weird.

46:21Vishnu Vaka: Was it, I can't remember, I want to say a Swansea. Basically, one of the, like a low leg team has a, you can have access to the, there's a hotel room built into the stadium, but during the time that matches are on, you've got to close the curtains, which is absolutely insane. I don't know how you get to that.

46:39Jim Campbell: I don't know how they can police what you do in your own living room. I have no idea. Maybe they'll have a drone looking in, going, hey, come on. Yeah, that'll be what it is. Close these curtains. Yeah.

46:47Vishnu Vaka: I mean like Do all of you have balconies In your houses? Do you have access to a balcony? No I did have One of my previous flat Have you ever had a balcony In your flat?

46:56Jim Campbell: Yeah it's great

46:57Vishnu Vaka: Is it right?

46:58Jim Campbell: It's really good Right

46:59Vishnu Vaka: Do you not feel a bit exposed Being on a balcony?

47:03Pete Donaldson: Well you could like Put plants in You know on the

47:06Vishnu Vaka: I'm not suggesting That you walk out Billy Bollocks Well it depends on

47:09Jim Campbell: What mood you're in Oh the dressing gown's Blown open again Oh I feel exposed Morning Oh no

47:15Rodri: That's a Roderick's joke I'm not a drone. Drink it in. Get a good look, Rodri. Careful with those rotors. You don't take it off for crying out loud. Oh, don't you like it if I don't mind?

47:29Pete Donaldson: Oh dear, I've dropped my keys. Better bend over. Enjoy it. Imagine you take the drone inside. It's like, no, Rodri, you have to watch.

47:36Vishnu Vaka: Could you capture Rodri's drone in your house? Yeah. If you sort of lassoed it in. It's my drone now, sunshine. Try it to a radiator. you've got to like by George you've got to watch it you've got to watch everything help me take shots get like Johnny 5 help help alright well let's get out of here it's been a good round of Champions League fixtures and more of that next week thank you for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Aircast Creator Network we'll be back tomorrow

48:04Rodri: for the preview show

48:12Pete Donaldson: you've done it again I haven't done it again

48:14Rodri: You just stopped the show abruptly What do you want me to do? What's in the thing? More show You want to do more show?

48:21Pete Donaldson: I was going to get ready to say goodbye Vish, would you like to say The show fell apart At exactly this point I'm not doing it like that Last week You want a bit of that to you, Vish? You don't want me to say goodbye Say goodbye, Vish I'm not going to say goodbye Say goodbye forever No Come on, England Jim

48:38Rodri: Bye The cast You were cast

48:43Vishnu Vaka: Dan Housen Good player Pete Housen

48:48Bukayo Saka: The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creative Network

48:59Rodri: With its two juicy beef patties

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